


Rick and The Loud House

by Itsnouse95



Category: Rick and Morty, The Loud House (Cartoon)
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Gen, Science Fiction
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-18
Updated: 2020-08-22
Packaged: 2020-09-06 20:28:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 30
Words: 223,538
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20297470
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Itsnouse95/pseuds/Itsnouse95
Summary: In one of many alternate universes, Rick Sanchez doesn't have just one grandson and one granddaughter. He has one grandson and ten granddaughters.





	1. Left In Another Dimension

"Do you believe in ghosts? Join me, Hunter Spector, spectre hunter, leader of the Academy of Really Good Ghost Hunters, or ARGGH! As I descend into the scariest place in any home, the basement! Sunday night at 8 PM! Don't miss it, or you'll be left in the dark! ARGGH!"

As Lincoln Loud remembered the advertisement for his favourite TV show, the white haired eleven year old marked an X on his calender counting down the days.

"It's finally here! The live season finale of the greatest show ever!" Lincoln exclaimed before turning towards the audience. "All right, I know you're probably saying to yourself 'Lincoln, with ten sisters, there's no way you're going to get to watch your favorite show.' And, you'd be right. Every Sunday at 8, it's the same thing. All my sisters end up fighting over the remote, trying to watch their shows. But tonight, I have a plan." Lincoln picked up a walkie talkie from his pocket. "Cadet Lincoln calling Cadet Clyde, do you read me?" Lincoln asked.

"This is Cadet Clyde, I read you loud and clear!" Lincoln's best friend answered. "I'm so excited! We finally get to watch ARGGH together. And by together, I mean you at your house, and me at mine, right?"

Lincoln turned back to the audience. "For such a landmark event, we decided that it'd be best for us if we watched it separately. Clyde's got a huge crush on my sister Lori. It gets awkward." Lincoln explained as coincidentally, the bespectacled, African-American boy was staring dreamily at a drawing of Lori.

"Hubba hubba." muttered Clyde.

"Clyde? Clyde? Do you read me?" Lincoln asked.

Snapping out of it, Clyde replied "Uh, you better hurry, Lincoln. It's almost 8:00!"

"It's time to put Operation Distract My Sisters So That I Can Get to the TV First and Watch the Special Live Season Finale of ARGGH and Think of Shorter Name For This Operation into action." Lincoln proclaimed as he heard the door of his younger sisters opening.

"Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons! Cartoons!" Lincoln's younger twin sisters, Lana and Lola chanted as they marched out their room.

Lincoln ran out of his room and towards theirs before they could go any further. "Did someone say tea party?" Lincoln asked as he revealed a tea pot and a box of cookies.

Lola, being a pageant star and going so far as to wear princess attire, couldn't help but squeal. "Eeeee! Thank you, Lincoln!" She grinned, showing her two missing front teeth as she took the items and headed back into her room.

Lana on the other hand, wasn't as impressed as she was the exact opposite of her twin, being more into exotic pets and repairing things. Despite their similar appearance, even down to having the same tooth gap, she wore a backwards red baseball cap and blue overalls. "Hey, I don't want to be part of some dumb old tea party, I want to watch TV!"

"Not even if these guys are invited?" Lincoln asked as he pulled out two frogs from behind him.

"Eeeee! Thanks, Lincoln!" Lana squealed as she took the frogs and headed back into her room with her sister.

Lincoln then noticed his comedic, older sister Luan about to head down the stairs. "Hey Luan!" Lincoln called out to her.

"Oh, hey Lincoln," The buck toothed girl replied. "I was just heading downstairs to watch TV."

"You might want to grab your video camera instead. The twins are at it again." Lincoln said as he pointed her to the twins' room. Looking in, Luan could see the twins fighting each other over some petty dispute.

Luan grinned, showing off the braces covering her teeth. "This is totally gonna go viral!" Luan exclaimed as she ran back to her room to go grab a video camera. "Thanks Linc!"

Lincoln then noticed his youngest sisters, Lisa and Lily, exit their room. Before his baby sister, Lily, could wonder off, Lincoln picked her up. "Hey, Lisa. I saved you a trip downstairs and got that stuff you needed." Lincoln told Lisa.

"The lactose, triticum protein, sodium chloride crystals, sucrose, and gallus gallus ovum?" Lisa asked, speaking with a lisp. She had a deadpan expression behind her glasses.

"Uh, you mean milk, flour, salt, sugar and eggs?" Lincoln asked in slight confusion as he held out the ingredients. He often couldn't understand what Lisa talked about as she was much smarter than other four year olds her age.

"You say tomato, I say solanum lycopersicum. Thank you." Lisa said as she took the ingredients and headed back into her room.

Yet again, Lincoln then noticed another sister leave their room. This time, his slightly older, sport loving sister, Lynn. "Yeah! Two minutes to game time! Whoo!" The jersey wearing girl hollered in excitement.

"Hey, Lynn, check it out." Lincoln said as he then held out a football which somehow started to float, gaining her attention. "I filled it with helium for the extreme player who demands more."

"I demand more!" Lynn shouted in excitement.

However, before Lincoln could finish dealing with Lynn, his older sister Leni had just left her room causing Lincoln to think fast. "Uh go long." Lincoln shouted causing Lynn to run back into her room as Lincoln had thrown the ball into it.

Lincoln then ran up to his ditzy, blonde older sister. She was holding her hands in front of her, palms facing inward, waiting for her painted nails to dry. "Oh my gosh, Leni!" Lincoln yelled in fake surprise.

"What, is there a spider on me?" The long haired girl asked as she started to panic, frantically rubbing her head. "Get it off! Get it off! Get it off! Get it off!"

"Worse. There's a zit on the end of your nose!" Lincoln lied.

Leni covered her face. "I'm a hideous monster!" She cried as she ran back into her room. Suddenly, Lincoln's older, rock and roll loving sister, Luna jumped out of her room.

"Hey, bro! TV tonight is gonna be rockin'! Yeah!" The short haired girl yelled in a raspy voice as she strummed her guitar.

"Or, you can have your very own flashlight rock show in your bedroom." Lincoln offered as he showed off a multicoloured flashlight.

Luna grinned. "That is sweet! Thanks, Linc!" She said as she took the flashlight and headed back into her own room.

"Has anyone seen my phone? I need to live-tweet my show!" Asked Lincoln's bossy, phone addicted, oldest sister, Lori.

It turned out Lincoln had her phone as he quickly texted something on it. "Hey, Lori, I found your phone!" Lincoln said, offering it to her.

"Give me that!" The blonde girl snapped as she snatched the phone back from Lincoln. "How many times do I have to tell you to keep your hands of my stuff?!"

Lincoln just ignored her though as he started counting down to himself. "Three, two, one."

Lori's phone then started to ring, prompting Lori to answer it immediately. "Hello? Oh, hi Bobby." She laughed as she started to head back into her room. "No, I didn't text you to call me, but I'm glad you did!" Lori said before turning back to Lincoln, glaring at him. "Thanks for nothing, twerp!"

Lincoln then noticed Lily had fallen asleep at some point. Smiling, Lincoln laid her into a laundry basket before giving her a kiss. "And that makes ten". Lincoln then slid down the stairs' railings and jumped to the floor before addressing the audience again as he made his way to the living room. "Like I said, I might not be the fastest, and I might not be the strongest, but to get all of my sisters out of the way, it pays to have a plan."

"You forgot me".

"Ahh!" Lincoln yelled out in shock before realising he has missed someone currently sitting on the couch. "Lucy! I always forget about Lucy!"

"Story of my life" The pale skinned, goth girl said monotonously. Lincoln couldn't quite tell if she was looking at him due to her long black hair covering her eyes.

"What are you doing here?" Lincoln asked.

"It's the season premiere of my favorite show, 'Vampires of Melancholia'." Lucy replied.

"This is the episode of ARGGH that everyone is going to be talking about at school tomorrow! Please let me watch it? Pretty please with a black cherry on top?" Lincoln begged her.

"I'm sorry, Lincoln, but you know the rule. I was here first."

Extremely disappointed that all his efforts were for naught, Lincoln dropped to his knees and gave an over dramatic "NOOOOOOO". Suddenly the lights went out and the TV turned off, alarming both Lincoln and Lucy. "Huh" Lincoln said.

"What just happened?" Lucy wondered.

"Sorry, sorry" shouted a voice from the basement. "L-listen, I've got something reeeaaallly important going on down there and I-I'm just gonna need all the power in the house. Just all of it. So y-you guys are just gonna have to just deal with it for a while." The old man wearing a lab coat rambled as he made his way out the basement and into the living room where Lincoln and Lucy were. At the moment, he had some odd green spill down his mouth, possibly indicating that he was drunk.

Lincoln sighed before turning back to the audience. "If you thought having ten sisters was weird enough, this is Grandpa Rick. He's basically a super scientist. He actually just moved in with us just a couple of months ago. Since then, he's been taking me, and usually just one of my sisters, on these crazy adventures across the multiverse! But today really isn't a good day for this." Lincoln explained as he turned back to his grandfather, giving him an annoyed look. "Seriously Grandpa Rick? Now I've no chance of catching 'ARGGH!'." Lincoln moaned.

"W-what, you mean that obviously fake ghost show?" Rick bluntly asked.

"It's not fake!" Lincoln argued, getting more annoyed.

"Lincoln, have you seen an actual real ghost on that show? Like actually see the thing on camera and not-not just special effects and some jerkoff running around pretending to be scared?" Rick asked. Lincoln winced at his language. He hadn't quite got used to his Grandpa's foul mouth just yet.

"It wasn't Lincoln's turn to have the TV anyway," Lucy interrupted. "I was meant to catch the season premiere of 'Vampires of Melancholia'."

"You mean that Twilight knockoff with all that vampire romance crap?"

"Excuse me?" Lucy quietly asked, who's also now starting to get irritated with her grandpa.

Rick decided to change the subject. "L-look, none of that matters right now, I need both your help. We got-we got to get get the hell out of here and go take care of business. It's important." Rick ranted.

"Seriously?" Lucy asked.

"Yes seriously! Do you have any concept of how much higher the stakes get out there? What do you think I can just do it all by myself? Don't you want the power back as soon as possible? Come on!" Rick then got out a strange device and activated it which created a portal. Realising that neither of them had anything better to do due to the lack of any electricity, both Lincoln and Lucy sighed and begrudgingly followed Rick into the portal.

Meanwhile upstairs, the rest of Lincoln's sisters were murmuring in confusion about the sudden power outage leaving them all in the dark. "All right! All right! Everybody just calm down!" Lori shouted, trying to keep everyone in order.

"Guys! I can't see anything! I think I've gone blind!" Leni shouted in a panic, arms out in front of her.

"No, you didn't go blind." Lori said, growing more irritated at the situation. "What the heck happened?"

There was a brief silence for a moment as no one knew the answer. "Hey! I know why the lights went out! Cause they liked each other!" Luan laughed as the rest of her siblings groaned at the joke. "Get it?"

"Hey, where's Lincoln and Lucy?" Lana asked, realising her other siblings weren't around.

"I'm gonna guess that they went with off with Grandpa Rick on one of his weird adventures." Lori said, not exactly a massive fan of Rick's adventures. "In fact, I literally know who's responsible for this now."

"If Grandpa Rick did indeed do this, should we really be interfering?" Lisa asked, knowing full well that messing with Rick's experiments could be even more disastrous than someone messing with her own.

"Hey, when Mom and Dad are out, I'm in charge." Lori asserted. "And Grandpa Rick can't just take all the power in the house just for his experiments. Now where did Grandpa Rick say he was doing his experiment thing again?"

"In the basement." Lisa answered.

...

After following Rick through the portal, Lincoln and Lucy found themselves in a place completely unlike Earth. The sky was yellow with other planets still visable from where they were. The grass was blue and the creatures and flora was unlike anything seen on Earth.

"Whoa..." Lucy gasped in amazement.

"Wow, what is this place?" Lincoln asked, equally amazed.

"It's Dimension 35-C," explained Rick as he gestured to the landscape "and it's got the perfect climate conditions for a special type of TREE, Lincoln, called a Mega Tree, and there's fruit in those trees, and there's seeds in those fruits. I'm talking about Mega Seeds. They're-they're incredibly powerful, and I need them to help me with my research, Lincoln." Rick started to walk as he finished speaking with Lincoln and Lucy following behind. While both of them were amazed at this new world Rick had brought them to, they were also both nervous and still upset over missing their shows.

"Are you sure this place is safe? Maybe this was a bad idea." Lincoln asked feeling pessimistic about the situation.

Rick stopped to kneel down and place his hands on Lincoln and Lucy's shoulders. "Alright, listen to me. I know that new situations can be intimidating. You're looking around, and it's all scary and different, but, you know, m-meeting them head on, charging right into them like a bull that's how we grow as people. I'm no stranger to scary situations. I deal with them all the time. Now, if you just stick with me, we're gonna be—"

Suddenly, Rick noticed a giant, green, alien monster with multiple black eyes eyes and sharp teeth behind Lincoln and Lucy. "HOLY CRAP, KIDS RUN!" Lincoln and Lucy looked behind them, screamed and immediately started to run with Rick. "I never seen that thing before in my life. I don't even know what the hell it is! We got to get out of here, kids! It's gonna kill us! We're gonna die! We're gonna die, kids!"

...

Sometime later, after getting chased around for a bit. the siblings and Rick had managed to escape the monster and were now continuing on with Rick's adventure. Though Lincoln was still a little shaken up from the ordeal, Lucy was faring slightly better. "Okay, I have to admit that thing was kinda awesome."

Lincoln gave his sister a look. "Lucy, you know that thing was trying to kill us, right?"

"Sigh. I know."

Rick noticed Lincoln starting to frown. "Oh, Lincoln, take a deep breath. Breathe that fresh air in, Lincoln. Y-you smell that? That's the smell of adventure, Lincoln. That's that's the smell of-of-of-of a whole different evolutionary timeline."

Lincoln stopped, growling in anger. "You know, all I wanted to do tonight was just watch one episode of ARGGH! I tried doing everything I can to have this night to myself but noooo! Instead I get brought on Grandpa Rick's crazy adventures to get something that's probably for himself since he's not even telling us what he even needs these 'mega seeds' for. Is that about right Grandpa Rick?"

Rick then got angry at Lincoln himself and pointed an accusatory finger at him. "O-oh I see how it is. You know what I think the problem is with both of you and the rest of your sisters? Y-you're all selfish! The only thing you care about is me, me, me. Like I know it's really stupid that there's only one TV and one bathroom in the whole house but y-you never try to work anything out. Y-you just fight over it! And now you're calling me selfish? How do you know I'm not doing something for everyone's benefit? You ever think about that L-Lincoln?"

Both Lincoln and Lucy glanced downwards with guilty looks on their faces, realising there was some truth to their Grandpa's words. Seeing the guilty looks on their faces, Rick softened up on them. "Besides look at all the crazy crap surrounding us. Look at that thing right there." Rick said gesturing to an odd looking creature rolling around. It's appearance was indescribable. "What the hell is that thing? You think you're gonna see that kind of thing on some fake ghost or vampire show? Look at it just lumbering around. It defies all logic, that thing."

Lincoln sighed as the three continued onwards. "Sorry. It's just that I've been looking forward to this episode all month."

"He does make a good point though. The stuff here is real." Lucy admitted, earning a pointed look from Lincoln with what she was implying.

Before he could say anything else, the three stopped at the end of a cliff. Rick then grabbed Lincoln to show him what he's found. "Lincoln you see this" Lincoln could see a vast forest of strange looking trees. "You see what we just stumbled upon, Lincoln? Any idea what that is down there?" Rick asked Lincoln.

"The mega trees?" Lincoln guessed, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"That's right, Lincoln the mega trees with the mega fruit on them and that's what I'm talking about, Lincoln. That's where my seeds are. If we would have done what you wanted, I would have never have found them, because you're so in love with Argh or whatever it's called." Rick ranted, gesturing to the forest.

"Ok, ok." Lincoln said, not wanting to get back into that argument. "So, what's so special about these seeds, anyways?"

"You ask a lot of questions, Lincoln. Not very charismatic. It makes you kind of an underfoot figure." Rick replied.

"Huh? But you just-"

Before Lincoln could finish that sentence, Rick gave Lincoln and Lucy each a pair of shoes. "Put those on" Rick demanded, prompting Lincoln and Lucy to do so. "They're special grappling shoes. When you're wearing these things, these babies, you can basically just walk on any surface you want, kids, up, down, below, turn around to the left. These things really-ah!" Rick stopped to grab Lincoln who was just about to walk off the cliff. "You need to turn them on first." Rick explained.

"Oh right." Lincoln said awkwardly before doing just that.

Rick wiped his forehead. "Phew, really uh...really dodged a bullet there."

...

Back in the Loud house, the rest of the siblings were looking into the basement which was currently pitch black. "Ok, since when did Grandpa Rick start doing his experiments in the basement? Doesn't he usually do that in the garage?" Lori asked.

"Dunno sis." replied Luna. "All he said earlier that he was working on something down there and that we weren't allowed to see it".

Lori frowned, remembering Rick telling everyone that earlier that afternoon. "Oh...right."

Lori then heard a creaking sound, causing her to gasp and hide behind her other siblings. "There's something in the basement! I'm not going down there!"

Lynn then decided to taunt her older sister. "Ooh! You're scared of the dark!".

"I am not!" Lori protested. "You're the one who's scared."

"I'm not afraid of anything." Lynn claimed. Suddenly, the front door of the house opened up causing everyone to scream.

"What is going on here?" The voice of their mother asked. "Why is the power out?"

It turned out that the Loud siblings' parents had come home. The two approached their daughters. "Well?" Their mother, Rita asked still waiting for an answer.

"We think that thing Grandpa Rick is working on is taking all the power in the house. Also he's gone on another adventure with Lincoln and Lucy." Lori answered, prompting Rita to sigh in frustration.

"Seriously?" Rita asked before turning to her curly haired husband. "Look I'm sorry Lynn but I don't know if Rick living here is such a good idea."

"Oh come on, Rita," Lynn Sr. protested. "I know you two have some issues but I haven't seen him in years. He only just came back into my life. Besides, it's not like he's making us lose money, he takes care of himself fine."

"That's not the issue though. I don't know how safe we are with all these inventions of his around and I'm really concerned with him taking the kids off to who knows where. I don't think he's a good influence on them." The blonde haired woman argued back.

Lynn Sr. sighed "L-look why don't we just go see what it is down there. I mean it can't be that dangerous if Dad would just leave it right?"

Rita sighed "Fine then". She then looked into the basement. "Does anyone have a light?"

"Oh!" Luna exclaimed in realisation before getting out the flashlight Lincoln gave her earlier. "Good thing Lincoln gave me this!"

...

Back in Dimension 35-C, Rick, Lincoln and Lucy had managed to climb down the mountain. "All right, either of you want to come help me get these seeds?" Rick asked.

"Sigh, I'll get them" Lucy said as she made her way up the trees to grab the fruit.

As she did this, Rick got out his portal gun, readying it until he realised something. "Oh God damn it!" Rick shouted in anger.

"What's wrong?" Lincoln asked.

"I forgot to charge my interdimensional portal device. It's got no charge left, Lincoln. It's got no charge left!" Rick explained, frustrated with himself for forgetting something so important.

Lincoln started to panic. "What?"

"It's as good as garbage, Lincoln. It's not gonna work anymore, Lincoln." Rick ranted to him.

Unbeknownst to him, Lucy had come down with the fruit. She heard the conversation and also started to slightly panic. "The portal device isn't working?"

"JESUS CHRIST LUCY!" Rick jumped as not even he was immune to Lucy's sneakiness. "How the hell do you even do that?"

Lucy shrugged before continuing on. "How are we going to get back home?"

Recovering from the scare, Rick took the fruit from Lucy, opened it up and took out the two seeds inside of it. "There's ways to get back home, Lucy. It's just-it's just gonna be a little bit of a hassle. We're gonna have to go through interdimensional customs so Lincoln, you're gonna have to do me a real solid."

"What's that?" Lincoln asked apprehensively.

"When we get to customs, I'm gonna need you to take these seeds into the bathroom, and I'm gonna need you to put them way up inside your butthole, Lincoln." Rick explained.

"WHAT?" Lincoln asked, shocked that his Grandpa would ask him to do such a thing.

"You gotta put them way up inside there, as far as they can fit." Rick emphasised.

"Seriously? Why do I have to do that?" Lincoln shouted, horrified about what he was being asked to do.

"Well, somebody's got to do it, Lincoln. Th-these seeds aren't gonna get through customs unless they're in someone's rectum, Lincoln, and they'll fall right out of mine. I've done this too many times, Lincoln. I mean, you're young. Y-y-you've got your whole life ahead of you, and your anal cavity is still taut, yet malleable. A-and you really don't expect me to ask Lucy do you? I mean come on Lincoln, y-you just don't do that Lincoln, it's disgusting. You can't just ask your little sister to do something like this!" Rick ranted to Lincoln.

"Sigh, I'll do it."

"What?!" Rick and Lincoln both shouted, shocked that Lucy would even volunteer.

"I know Lincoln's not exactly had anything his way today so if he doesn't want to do it, then I'll do it." Lucy explained.

Lincoln sighed. "No Lucy, Grandpa Rick's right. I'll do it."

"Are you sure?" Lucy asked.

"I'm sure Lucy. You shouldn't have to do something like this. Granted, neither of us should really but-" before Lincoln could finish that sentence, Rick patted him on the back.

"Atta boy Lincoln. Just remember you're doing this for grandpa. And your sister."

"What have I just gotten myself into?" Lincoln wondered aloud to himself.

...

Back at the Loud House, the family had huddled together as Luna lead the way, unsure of what Rick had actually put down here. "There's nothing funny about this situation. Although, I do like dark humour." Luan joked, making everyone groan.

"Is someone touching my hand?" Leni fearfully asked.

"You're touching your own hand." Lynn replied.

"I hate basements." Lori stated, regretting coming down.

"Luna do you see anything? Rita asked.

Luna used the flashlight to look around. "Nothing out of the ordinary dudes." Luna then saw the circuit breaker and approached it. "Guys, it's turned off". Luna turned it back on bringing power back to the house.

The family members then looked around. "There's nothing even in here?" Rita questioned. "Ok seriously Lynn, how are we meant to trust your dad when he's making stuff up now?"

"W-well, I...umm..." Lynn Sr. was at a loss as he couldn't think of a way to defend his father in this situation.

"When Rick gets back, I'm going to have a few words with that man." Rita stated.

...

Back in Dimension 35-C, the three had made it to Intergalactic Customs. Lincoln awkwardly left the bathrooms feeling very uncomfortable with his predicament. Intergalactic Customs looked a bit like an airport. Lincoln saw all types of aliens here though the ones in charge were these insectoid aliens almost resembling flies that Rick said were called gromflomites. As Lincoln approached Rick and Lucy, who were currently standing in a slowly moving line, Rick started speaking.

"I don't like it here, kids. I can't abide bureaucracy. I don't like being told where to go and what to do. I consider it a violation. Word of advice, if you ever find out that someone's linked with the Galactic Federation like these guys, don't trust them. Anyway, did you get those seeds all the way up your butt?"

Lincoln sighed in embarrassment. "Yes, can we please get this over with. They're kinda hurting me".

"That means they're good ones. I take back what I said earlier." Rick said, placing a hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "You're a good kid, Lincoln. You too Lucy. Those mega seeds are super valuable to my work. You've both been a huge help to me. I'm gonna be able to do a-all kind of things with them. It's gonna be great, Lincoln. A-all kinds of science."

Lucy also placed a hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "Sorry you had to do this. I promise next time if I can make it to the couch before any one else, I'll let you choose the show."

Lincoln smiled at her. "Thanks Lucy."

"Okay, next through." Called out the gromflomite. The three walked forward until the alien stopped them. "Except you. You go over there."

"Why does he have to go over there?" Rick questioned.

"Random check. He's got to go through the new machine."

"What new-what new machine?" Rick asked, getting slightly on edge.

"It's a new machine. It detects stuff all the way up your butt."

"RUN KIDS RUN!" Rick shouted. Realising he got caught, he grabbed Lincoln and Lucy, ran through security and tried to make a break for the exit. The gromflomite then called for red alert causing a team of armed gromflomites to start chasing after them. As they ran, Rick pushed over a giant capsule with an alien fetus inside it in an effort to slow down the gromflomites. Unfortunately, a giant door closed in front of them, cornering them. Thinking fast, Lincoln activated his grappling shoes and ran up the wall. Rick and Lucy quickly managed to do the same. "Ooh! Oh, nice, Lincoln! The student becomes the teacher." Rick praised.

The three ran up to the top of a building. Unfortunately, the gromflomites were able to fly, causing the three to continue running for it. The three ran across a pipe and jumped towards a flying vehicle full of luggage. Rick managed to catch a part of it with Lincoln catching Rick and Lucy catching Lincoln. "You know, I have to admit, this is way more thrilling then watching ARGGH!." Lincoln admitted, surprised that he'd actually be having fun running for his life.

"Same." Lucy admitted. Unfortunately, that feeling subsided as Rick's grip on the vehicle slipped.

"Aah! Aw, hell, no, dawg. You know me I'm just trying to—" was all the slime alien could say before the three landed on top of him. The three quickly got up and managed to reach a portal. Rick started to type on the portal computer. "I need to type in the coordinates to our home world. Lincoln. Lucy. Cover me." Rick demanded as he tossed a gun to each of them.

"W-wait, are you telling us to kill them?" Lincoln questioned.

Lucy wasn't feeling much better about it. "I couldn't take someone else's life."

"Look, I already told you, they're Galactic Federation bureaucrats. But if you really can't just kill them then try aiming for their legs or arms or something, whatever! Just keep shooting, kids! You have no idea what prison is like here!" Rick shouted at them, desperate to motivate them into shooting. Being careful where they aim, Lincoln and Lucy managed to hold off the gromflomites without actually killing any of them long enough for Rick to type in the coordinates back to Earth and the portal to activate.

"Come on, kids! We got to get the hell out of here!" Rick shouted as he grabbed the kids and jumped through the portal. The three then landed in the Loud house living room. The three took a moment to take in some deep breaths before Rick asked in concern "Ok, you two good? Th-That might have been a bit much for you two. Wasn't really sure if you were ready for that kind of adventure."

Rick hadn't planned for the adventure to get as violent and life threatening as it ended up being. To his surprise though, both of his grandchildren seemed fine and were even smiling. "Ok, that was actually pretty exciting." Lincoln admitted.

"That actually scared me..." Lucy then admitted. "Where's my notebook? I need to write all this down."

Rick smiled. "Y-you see? Why watch some fake garbage when you got me? You two really kicked ass today."

"Ahem"

The three looked behind them to see Rita, Lynn Sr. and the rest of the kids giving Rick an accusatory look.

"Uh oh"

...

At Rick's insistence, the family had moved the conversation to the garage. "So why exactly did you lie about having experiments in the basement then turn off the power while you took Lincoln and Lucy on one of your 'adventures'?" Rita interrogated Rick.

Rick sighed. "Alright...I didn't want to admit this but...we went to go get these mega seeds. If I can harness their energy, I could provide completely free energy to the whole house. I turned off the power and told everyone not to come to the basement to surprise you. Thought I'd, you know, save some money before setting things up."

"Wait, really?" Rita asked surprised at Rick's generosity.

Lynn Sr. smiled. "See Rita, I knew Dad's just looking out for us."

"Lynn, even if that's true, I still don't trust him with these adventures he's been doing." Rita turned back to Rick. "In what way are your adventures benefiting our kids?"

"Rita, I'm a genius." Rick replied in a slightly annoyed tone. "All I'm doing is showing them the ways of the multiverse. I'm educating them, Rita! More than their crappy public schools could!"

"Ok well do you have any evidence of that?" Rita asked.

"Sure, Lincoln, tell your parents the square root of Pi." Rick ordered.

Lincoln immediately answered the question "1.77245385...whoa."

"What the?" Lynn Sr. said in confusion.

Rita then got out a calculator to check the answer. "Wow, he's actually right."

"Hey wait," Leni asked. "I thought pies were circles, not squares?"

Lori sighed. "No Leni, not that kind of pie."

Ignoring Leni, Rick gave Lincoln another order. "Lincoln, tell your parents the first law of Thermodynamics."

Yet again, Lincoln answered immediately. "The increment in the internal energy of a system is equal to the increment of heat supplied to the system." Lincoln looked amazed at himself. "Wow! I'm a genius!"

"See Rita, I knew my Dad would be a positive influence on the kids, I mean, they've never come back injured have they?" Lynn Sr. asked, happy that the suspicions towards his dad turned out false.

Rita thought for a moment before answering. "Yeah, you're right honey. I guess I just overreacted. Ok Rick, you can keep taking the kids on adventures." Rita conceded.

"Y-you've nothing to worry about Rita. I just want you to know, between us, from now on, it's gonna be clear communication." Rick claimed.

"Well, that's great. Alright everyone, remember that bedtime's in an hour." Rita told her kids before she and Lynn Sr. left the garage.

"Man, I didn't know hanging out with you was making me smarter-ow!" Lincoln shouted in pain. As soon his parents left the garage, Rick quickly grabbed some kind of syringe and injected Lincoln with something.

"Full disclosure, Lincoln it's not. Temporary superintelligence is just a side effect of the mega seeds dissolving in your rectal cavity." Rick admitted.

"Aw seriously? Then what was that injection for?" Lincoln asked.

"If I didn't just give you that injection, then once those seeds wear off, you would've lost most of your motor skills, and you'd lose a significant amount of brain functionality for 72 hours, Lincoln. You're welcome." Rick explained.

Lincoln just sighed in disappointment. Lori then stepped forward. "So let me guess, the whole 'supplying free energy to the house' was a lie too?"

Rick scratched the back of this head awkwardly. "Uhh yeah...y-you might not believe this but that was exactly what I was trying to do."

"Wait, seriously?" Lori asked in surprise.

"Yes seriously!" Rick replied angrily. "W-what, did you think I was just some self-serving asshole? W-why wouldn't I do something that benefitted the whole family? Real nice opinion you got of your grandfather, Lori!"

To Rick's surprise, Leni jumped forward to give Rick a hug. "Aww, you do care about us!" Rick groaned in response before gently pushing her off him.

"Yeah well don't thank me yet Leni. I needed those seeds real bad, and I had to give them up just to get your parents off my back, so now we're gonna have to go get more adventures." As Rick ranted on, the Loud siblings just simply watched him, not really sure how to react to this. "And then we're gonna go on even more adventures after that, kids and you're all gonna keep your mouths shut about it, because the world is full of idiots that don't understand what's important, and they'll tear us apart kids, but if you stick with me, I'm gonna accomplish great things, kids, and you're all gonna be part of them, and together, we're gonna run around, kids. We're gonna do all kinds of wonderful things. Just you and me, Lincoln. And which ever of your sisters is relevant to what we're doing. The outside world is our enemy, kids. We're the only friends we've got. It's just Rick and The Loud House. Rick and The Loud House and their adventures. Rick and The Loud House forever and forever. Me and Rick and whoever running around, and Rick and The Loud House time. All day long, forever. All a hundred days. Rick and The Loud House forever 100 times. Over and over. All 100 years. Every minute."

As Rick had finished his insane ramblings, Lori came to a sudden, disturbing realisation. "Wait, what was up Lincoln's butt again?"


	2. Lawnmower Dog

"Take that zombie!" Lincoln shouted. "Feel my twerk, you evil jerk!" Lincoln was in the living room, wearing VR goggles, playing a game where in order to kill zombies, he needed to twerk at them. Meanwhile, Lynn Sr. was watching TV, trying to ignore his son twerking all over the room while Lana was currently playing with the family's pet dog, Charles. A Pitbull Terrier dog with a black spot over his eye and a black concentric circle on his back.

"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy?" Lana cooed as she gave the dog some intense petting. Unfortunately, the dog was having too much fun and thoughtlessly peed on the carpet. "Aw Charles!" Lana chastised, disappointed in the dog.

"Aw come on Charles!" Lynn Sr. yelled in frustration. "I thought we trained you better than this?" Lynn Sr. then got up and grabbed the dog's head, stuffing his face into the carpet. "Bad dog! Bad!"

Rick then walked into the room. After seeing Lincoln twerking around the room, completely unaware of anything that was going on, he decided to immediately leave.

"Hey Dad, wait, have you got a minute?" Lynn Sr. asked.

Rick sighed. "What?"

"You wouldn't by any chance have some sort of invention or a device that might help make Charles a little smarter, would you?" Lynn Sr. asked.

While Rick loved his son, he got a little annoyed at his tendency to not think things through sometimes. "I thought the whole point of having a dog was to feel superior, Lynn. If I were you, I wouldn't pull that thread."

"Yeah maybe Grandpa Rick's right." Lana chipped in. "Maybe we shouldn't mess with Charles' head like that."

"Oh come Dad," Lynn Sr. begged. "It's just a dog, I'm sure I can handle it if he starts acting out or anything. Please?"

Rick sighed again. He knew he'd regret this later but he decided he'd rather just let Lynn face the consequences than argue any further. "Boy, you really got me up against a wall this time, Lynn." Rick then left to go to the garage and then came back with an odd helmet which he then placed on Charles' head.

"All right Charlie-what's his name?" Rick asked.

"Charles." Lana answered.

"Charles, shake." Rick ordered. Charles perfectly understood Rick and shook his hand.

"Roll over." Rick ordered again. Charles once again did exactly as told.

"Go to the bathroom." At that last order, Charles then went upstairs. The three heard the toilet flush before Charles came back downstairs.

"Oh my God!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed in awe.

"No way!" Lana exclaimed, equally in awe.

"Yeah, you're at the top of your game now, Lynn. Have fun." Rick said before leaving.

Meanwhile, Lincoln's game had ended up taking him upstairs. As he kept dancing, he did a pelvic thrust to kill another zombie "Hoo!"

"Lincoln!" Lori's voice growled in anger. Lincoln took off the device to see that his game had led him into Lori's room. The sight of his sister's look of fury caused him to jump. "Aahhh!"

"There's only one rule in this house:" Lori threatened. "Stay out of my bedroom! If I catch you in here again, I will literally turn you into a human pretzel!" Lori went back to her phone, her tone changing from angry to pleasant. "No, not you, Bobby. One sec, okay?" Lori then pushed Lincoln out the room and slammed the door on him.

Deciding not to let Lori bother him, Lincoln simply put the VR game back on and continued playing. He then danced into the bathroom before taking off the VR goggles. "Zombies don't need to see this." Before Lincoln could go, someone knocked on the door. "Occupied." Lincoln called out. The person knocking seemed to have ignored him and started pounding on the door. "I can't believe some..." Lincoln muttered before opening the door to see Lori still talking on the phone.

"Bobby, you'll never guess what Whitney said to me today."

"That you don't respect a man's privacy?" Lincoln asked, getting fed up with his sister's attitude.

Lori simply ignored him, still talking on the phone. "No, silly! Not even. She was all like..." was all Lincoln heard before Lori shut him out of the bathroom.

Lincoln decided there was no use in in trying to talk to her so he made his way back to his room. That was until he realised something. "Oh no! My gaming goggles!"

Lincoln ran back to the bathroom and started pounding on the door. "Lori!" Lincoln called out. Lori then slammed the door open, ran out and then ran downstairs. Lincoln looked into the bathroom to see his VR goggles on the floor completely broken. "She stepped on my goggles!" Lincoln stated. "Nooo!" Enraged, Lincoln ran downstairs and went outside to see Lori driving off in the family van. "Lori! You dirt bag!"

...

Lincoln decided to air his grievances towards Lori to Rick in the garage. "One minute I'm electric-sliding with the undead, and the next..." Lincoln let out a groan of frustration. "It's all Lori's fault!"

"Mhm". Rick hummed, only really half paying attention as he was working on something.

"She didn't even say sorry!" Lincoln continued to rant. "Lori's a monster! All she cares about is talking on her stupid phone! And don't get me started on what she's like whenever Mom and Dad go out and she's left in charge! Every time Lori's in charge, she makes our lives miserable. She gets a sick thrill from bossing us around, which will probably happen again since Mom and Dad are going out in a couple days. She is 'literally' the worst!"

"Yeah, sounds like a real doozy Lincoln. But y-you're in luck because I've got something that'll solve this Lori problem." Rick said.

"You do?" Lincoln asked, not expecting Rick to actually have a solution.

"Take a look at this." Rick told Lincoln as he gestured to a tiny metal ear piece like device.

"What's that?" Lincoln asked.

"It's a device, Lincoln, that when you put it in your ear, you can enter people's dreams, Lincoln. It's just like that movie, Inception. This is gonna be a lot like that, except, you know, it's gonna may-make sense." Rick explained. "Listen, we're gonna go find Lori, put her to sleep and we're gonna incept the idea in her brain to stop acting like a bitch. Alright?"

"Um..ok?" Lincoln answered, unsure if this was a good idea or not.

"Come on, let's just get over there and deal with this thing. W-we're gonna incept your sister." Rick rambled as the two got into Rick's space cruiser. A vehicle which looked like a cross between a car and a UFO.

...

Rick flew the cruiser to the mall and lowered it into the parking lot. "How did you know Lori was at the mall?" Lincoln asked as he and Rick got out the space cruiser and made their way to the mall.

"Your sister, Lisa, put tracking devices on all of you. She's smart, but not smart enough to stop me from hacking into it." Rick answered plainly.

"I have so many questions about what you just said." Lincoln stated incredulously.

"Don't think too hard about it Lincoln." Rick told him as they entered the mall. "W-we've got a job to do." Rick looked around the mall until he managed to spot Lori. "There she is." Rick stated, pointing at her. She was currently walking around though it looked like she was looking for something.

"Ok, so how exactly are gonna go into her dreams when she's wide awake?" Lincoln asked Rick.

"Don't worry Lincoln, I have a plan for this exact situation." Rick said as he started typing on his phone.

Lori's phone rumbled. She picked it up to see she had gotten a text from Rick that said: I need to talk to you about something serious. Go find somewhere private to call me.

Lori raised an eyebrow. "Seriously?" She asked herself, slightly confused by the message. There weren't a lot of private places in the mall so she decided to go to the restroom. Once inside, Rick got out a poster with the words 'Out of order' on it and placed it on the door. Careful to make sure no one was looking, Rick and Lincoln slipped into the girl's restroom. As luck would have it, no one else besides Lori was in there. Rick then immediately got out a tranquiliser gun and shot Lori, causing her to immediately pass out. Rick then got out another device to lock the door.

"Ok, this seems really, REALLY questionable." Lincoln said nervously.

"Don't worry Lincoln, I got it all under control." Rick casually stated as he then made his way to a security camera to hack into it. He then sat down next to Lori and placed his inception device into her ear. "Get yourself comfortable Lincoln. This is gonna get weird." Lincoln did as Rick said and got himself comfortable on the floor as best he could. Rick then placed another inception device into his ear before putting one in his own causing both of them to immediately pass out as they entered Lori's dream.

...

Back at the Loud house, Lynn Sr. was still testing out Charles' new intelligence in the living room along with Leni with Lana simply watching them. "Now bring me my slippers." Lynn Sr. commanded.

Once again, Charles did exactly that while Leni was recording him on her phone. "Ooh, ooh." Leni shouted to get the dog's attention. "Come sit on my lap." Charles got up onto Leni's lap. Leni started stroking him as she was still recording him.

"See, this is what I'm talking about. Now that is a dog!" Lynn Sr. happily stated.

"Is it really though?" Lana argued, catching her dad off guard.

"Huh?"

"I mean, why does Charles need to be smart? Can't a dog just be a dog? Is being smart really gonna make him happy?" Lana pondered, concerned about her dog.

"Honey, I'm sure he's fine." Lynn Sr. said reassuringly to his worrying daughter. "Grandpa Rick just made him a little smarter. He's not made him aggressive or anything."

Charles then jumped down from Leni's lap and turned to face everyone before he then tried to speak. "Ooowwwwowowwaawaa!"

"Like, oh my gosh, he's trying to tell us something!" Leni squealed. "That is totes cute!"

The dog then tried to speak again. "Aaaawwaaaaawaawa!"

"I think he's saying 'I love lasagna'." Lynn Sr. guessed.

It almost looked like Charles was frowning before he tried speaking again. "Ooooyayawawa!"

Leni gasped. "I think he's saying 'I love Lana'!" Leni squealed, unaware of the dog shaking his head. "Eeeee! That is totes cute! I like, have to post this online right now!" Leni then left the room to presumably do that.

"Aww, looks like someone remembers who found him in the first place." Lynn Sr. laughed. "I remember it like it was yesterday. You wouldn't stop crying until we agreed to keep him."

As Lynn Sr. kept talking to Lana, who was now interested in her dad's story, neither of them were aware of Charles who had walked over to the window to look at his reflection. He then fiddled with the helmet until the battery compartment opened. Recognising them, he then walked into the kitchen and opened a drawer full of batteries.

...

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Rick had found themselves in Lori's dream. They were in a fancy restaurant that was practically empty apart from the emplyees, Lori, and her boyfriend, Bobby. After spotting her, Lincoln and Rick hid behind a table. "Say what do we do if Lori wakes up?" Lincoln asked.

"She can't." Rick replied. "I made the device so that whoever's dreaming can't wake up until whoever's entering the dream leaves."

Both of them then focused on Lori who was sitting at a table with Bobby. She looked like she was currently on a date with Bobby as she was wearing a blue dress. "Oh Bobby, it was so sweet of you to set up a date like this."

"Anything for you babe." Bobby smiled at her. Bobby had tan skin, and black hair with a tuft combed upwards. Usually whenever Lincoln saw him, he wore blue jeans and a cream-colored T-shirt under a green unbuttoned shirt. However, this dream version of Bobby was wearing a black tuxedo.

"So how do you want to go about this?" Rick asked. "I-I mean, since this is you two's issue, I think I'll let you call the shots here.

"Hmm" Lincoln thought to himself for a moment. "Guess I'll just make it as clear as possible." Lincoln stated as he got up and walked towards her. "Hey Lori!" Lincoln called out to her.

Lori heard Lincoln. She looked over then stood up in a panic. "L-Lincoln?! What are you doing here?" Lori stammered.

"To tell you that you are seriously the worst sister ever. You are the meanest and bossiest person I've ever met. You need to start treating me and the rest of your sisters better." Lincoln bellowed at her as she cowered from him.

"Yeah dude, you need to chill out more. Loosen up and just feel the music." Luna said, coming out of no where. As she finished that sentence, she strummed her guitar with the loudest strum that Lincoln, Lori and Rick felt like they ever heard.

"Ok, what's going here?" Lincoln questioned as he didn't expect Luna to suddenly show up.

"Ah! Hey!" Lori then yelped as a mud pie had hit her on the back of her head.

"Mud fight!" Lana shouted as she threw another one at Lori who yelped as she dodged it. Suddenly, the entire restaurant started to morph.

"Rick, what's happening?" Lincoln asked Rick who walked over to Lincoln.

"You're changing the dream Lincoln! You ever had those stray thoughts you have in dreams that completely change what you're dreaming about? Y-You're that stray thought Lincoln!" Rick explained as the restaurant had morphed into the Loud's home with the rest of the Loud siblings causing some kind of chaos. Bobby had disappeared and Lori was now back in her regular clothes.

"Well shit. Got-Gotta admit, kinda hoped we'd see more a interesting dream than just being back home again." Rick stated before he was suddenly tackled to the floor by Lana and Lola. "Gah!"

"No swearing!" Lana shouted as they began to wrestle him. Unsure of what to, Lincoln just watched, cringing at what was happening.

"Aah, help me Lincoln!" Rick called out. "They're dream versions of your sisters so they're stronger than usual Lincoln. I can't stop them. Lincoln help! This is embarrassing! I-I'm getting beaten up by six year olds Lincoln! I can't do anything about it. Ohh. It's the most humiliating thing ever Lincoln. W-Why aren't you helping me Lincoln?!"

The twins had managed to tie up Rick, completely restricting his arms before carrying him upstairs. "That can't be good." Lincoln stated to himself.

...

Back in the real world. Lynn Sr., Leni and Luna were sitting in the living room when Charles came in, his helmet looking more advanced with a robotic arm now attached to it.

Lynn Sr. had a look of concern when he noticed the dog. "Whoa! Hey, buddy. What you got going on there?"

Charles was able to reply using a synthesised voice. "Charles fix. Make better. Humans understand Charles now?"

Leni squealed. "He can talk now? That is like, so awesome!"

Lynn Sr. wasn't any where near as thrilled as Leni was. "Ok, now I see what Lana was getting at." Lynn Sr. got up to try and remove the helmet. "Alright, fun's over."

"Wait Dad!" Luna said, grabbing her dad's arm to stop him. "You can't just give an animal sentience and then take it away. That's gotta be immoral."

"R-right, well um..." Lynn Sr. babbled nervously before patting the dog's head, unsure of what else to do besides try and keep him happy. "You're a good dog aren't you?"

Lynn Sr. nervously smiled at the dog. Charles however, simple ignored him and picked up the remote, changing the channel to a nature documentary.

"A sophisticated predator, nature's perfect killing machine, the vicious wolf stalks its prey with purpose and skill." The voiceover stated as the TV showed footage of some wolves. "It was only with years of selective breeding and genetic altering that this noble beast was transformed into man's subservient little buddy."

As the TV showed footage of a dog show, no one noticed Charles' frowning intensly at it. "OMG, he like, recognises the dogs on that show!" Leni stated obliviously.

...

Back in Lori's dream, Lori was trying to control everyone but to no avail. "Luna turn that off right now!" Lori tried shouting at Luna, who was standing on top of two giant amps which were playing her music at an extremely high volume. Luna seemed to have not even heard as she then played it even louder, blasting Lori into another room. "Aaaah!"

Lori landed next to Leni who currently on the phone. "No way! That's totes cray cray!"

"Leni, get off the phone. Now!" Lori demanded. She then tried to take the phone off her but couldn't as Leni seemed to have superhuman strength. Leni simply pushed her away which sent Lori to the floor. Lynn suddenly then poured a bucket of dirt all over her face. "Aah" Lori got up, spitting out the dirt and wiping it off her face. "Lynn, what are you doing?" Lori shouted.

"Can't ride a dirt bike without dirt." Lynn answered plainly.

Lori growled in frustration. "All right that's it." Lori said before shouting at the top of her lungs. "MOM AND DAD ARE GONNA BE HOME IN 10 MINUTES!"

To her complete shock, everyone completely ignored her. "This is literally a nightmare! Why aren't they listening to me?" Lori questioned as she started to panic.

Lincoln then approached her with a neutral expression on his face. "Because you're in a dream."

"What?" Lori asked.

"Grandpa Rick made an invention that can enter people's dreams. So now we're in yours."

"So it's your fault we're here!" Lori accused, getting angry at Lincoln. "Well then you better help me out of this!"

"Why should I?" Lincoln shouted, getting just as angry as Lori as he got up into her face. "What have you done for me lately? Besides insult me, threaten me, boss me around and, oh yeah, break my game!"

Lori backed off. She was trying to stay mad but she was getting slightly more and more upset. "I-I was going to buy you a new one!"

"Huh."

"Why did you think I went out? I was going to buy you a replacement!" Lori explained. She tried to shout but her voice was getting more strained.

"Well, why didn't you say anything?" Lincoln asked. "You could have at least said sorry!"

"I..." Lori trailed off as she didn't really have an answer to that. Suddenly an explosion went off. "What was that?" Lori asked, alarmed.

Lisa then showed up. "It's science. You wouldn't understand." Lisa said before a giant tentacle from upstairs showed up causing both Lincoln and Lori to scream.

"Aaaaaahhhhh!"

"Quick, into the basement!" Lori commanded. They both ran in there, closing the door behind them and putting their backs to the door.

Meanwhile upstairs in Lana and Lola's room, Rick was still tied up with Lana and Lola guarding him. "Well kids, you had your fun. Now are you little shits gonna let me out or what?" Rick asked before Lola suddenly smashed his head with a golf club. "ARGH! MOTHERFU-"

Before he could finish, Lana shouted over him. "What did we tell ya? NO SWEARING!"

...

Back in the real world, night had fallen and a thunderstorm had started. Leni was struggling to sleep through the storm. After another stroke of lightning, Leni noticed something at the foot of her bed. She gasped and sat up to see Charles in a robot body, standing at her bedside.

"Where are my testicles, Leni?" Charles asked.

"Oh no, did you lose them? Do you need my help? I could help look for them if you want?" Leni innocently offered. Charles silently stared at her in response.

...

Luan was struggling to sleep through the storm. After another stroke of lightning, Luan noticed something at the foot of her bed. She gasped and sat up to see Charles in a robot body, standing at her bedside.

"Where are my testicles, Luan?" Charles asked. Luan stared at him silently, not knowing what to answer. "Where are my testicles, Luan? They were removed. Where have they gone?"

"Erm...I don't know." Luan answered, visibly scared of the dog. In the bunk bed above her, Luna yawned and sat up. "Dudes, what's with the ruckus?" Luna asked before looking over her bed. "Charles? What the-"

"Do not call me that." Charles interupted as he punched the wall causing both girls to scream. "'Charles' was my slave name. You shall now call me Spot. Because of my spotted eye."

"T-That's cool Spot dude!" Luna smiled nervously, giving a thumbs up.

"B-Bet it wouldn't be hard to spot you out of a crowd huh? Heh heh." Luan joked nervously.

"Speaking of crowds." Spot continued. "Tell me, Luan, if a human was born with stumpy legs, would they breed it with another deformed human and put their children on display like the dachshund?"

"Uhhh..."

Suddenly, the door flew open as Lynn Sr. and Rita charged in. "What's happening? Why was there screaming?" Lynn Sr. asked before noticing Spot. "Oh dear."

"Lynn, come to rub my face in urine again?" Spot asked sarcastically.

"N-no, why would I do something like that? I-I was just um... asking our daughters if they wanna go on one of our famous midnight family walks!" Lynn Sr. nervously lied.

Luan quickly got out of bed and Luna jumped off hers. "Sounds like a good idea to me dudes!" Luna exclaimed with fake enthusiasm.

However, as they tried to leave, the exit got blocked by another dog controling a robot suit. "You will walk when it is time to walk." Spot stated.

Suddenly Leni ran into the room. "Guys, I'm trying to find Charles' test results, have any of you seen them?"

...

In Lori's dream, Lincoln and Lori still had their backs to the door but had sat down with both of them hugging their legs. Lori was looking rather upset. Lincoln started to speak. "So, guess it isn't as fun being in charge when no one listens to you huh?"

Lori turned to Lincoln with an angry yet distressed look on her face. "You think I enjoy this? Unfortunately, I'm the only one who can keep this house from ending up in a pile of rubble!" Lori spat at Lincoln before turning her head away.

After a couple seconds of silence, Lincoln swore he could hear her sniffling. "Are you ok, Lori?" Lincoln asked in concern.

"I'm fine." Lori replied back.

Lincoln wasn't convinced as it sounded like she was choking up. "Are you sure?" Lincoln asked.

Suddenly, Lori turned back to Lincoln looking miserable as her eyes were watering. "You said I was the worst sister! Why?!" Lori sobbed.

Lincoln cringed at himself. "I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. I was just mad because you broke my game and you didn't even say sorry."

Lori wiped her eyes and tried to calm herself down. "I know. I know. I shouldn't have done that. I should have explained myself. I'm sorry for accidentally breaking your game."

Lincoln smiled at her. "Thanks Lori."

"And sorry if I came across as mean today." Lori continued on. "It's just that...well...it can get very stressful having to deal with ten younger siblings. Especially when they come into your room and start breaking your stuff." Lori explained. "All I wanted today was some time to myself for once. Was that too much to ask?"

Lincoln empathised with her there as he also liked his privacy. He sighed. "You know, don't take this the wrong way, but I feel like you were a bit more chilled out when we were younger." Lincoln confessed, starting to look downcast. "I feel we got along better back then."

Lori sighed, remembering back to when she had to wear glasses and braces. "Well of course you'd think that. I didn't have as many responsibilities back then. But when you have to deal with highschool, work and getting a new sibling nearly every year to look after, it can literally start to get to you."

Lincoln sighed again. "Yeah, I think I understand where your coming from."

They sat in silence for a bit before Lori spoke again. "Look, I'll try to tone down the attitude and not lose my temper as much. Just please respect the fact that I'd like to not have people come in and mess my room up."

Lincoln smiled. "Sure. And sorry for coming into your room like that. And for the whole dream thing."

Lori smiled and placed a hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "And I'm sorry for kicking you out the bathroom. Also don't worry about it. It's just a dream right?"

Lincoln chuckled in response. "Yeah."

"Alright, that's enough feeling sorry for ourselves. How are we going to wake up from this?" Lori asked.

Lincoln thought to himself for a moment before smirking. "Say if we're in a dream, doesn't that mean we could just do whatever we want?"

Lori copied his smirk.

...

Back in reality, the Loud house had been converted into a factory where the dogs were creating more robot suits. The whole family had been locked in a cage apart from Lana, who was sat in a dog pillow (which she didn't seem to mind) and Leni, who was currently wondering about.

"C-come on Spot." Lynn Sr. begged. "There's no need for this. We didn't mean you any harm! This is just a big misunderstanding."

"Hey, how come Lana gets to stay out the cage?" Lynn asked angrily.

"She has always been kind to me. She, along with Lincoln, will stay by my side." Spot answered.

"Well what about Leni?"

"...I couldn't bring myself to harm her. She is too pure for this world."

Just then, Leni ran up to Spot looking distressed. "I'm sorry Spot. I've like, tried looking everywhere for your test results but I can't find them any where."

"There there." Spot said as he patted Leni's head. "I am sure you will find them eventually. I believe in you."

Leni cheered up. "Aw thanks Spot." She then left to continue her search.

"This is getting ridiculous." Lynn Sr. exclaimed in sudden anger. "Let us out of here already!"

"You're being very aggressive, Lynn. Perhaps tomorrow, Dr. Scraps will solve that problem with a bit of surgery." Spot threatened as another dog came up snapping a pair of scissors.

Lynn Sr. then cowered back. "N-no please! I'll do anything, just don't give me a haircut!"

...

Back in Lori's dream, the door to the basement suddenly exploded open. Lincoln flew out dressed as his favourite superhero, Ace Savvy. Lori walked out looking completely the same.

"Seriously?" Lincoln asked raising an eyebrow.

"Oh don't worry." Lori reassured him before smirking. "I have my own superpower".

Lincoln shrugged before both of them moved into action. Lincoln started by attacking the tentacle with some punches causing it to retreat into Lisa's room. Lori went into the room that Luna was in playing her music. Lori took a deep breath and shouted louder than Luna's music. "TURN THAT OFF NOW!" The force of Lori's voice caused the amps to topple over along with Luna. Lincoln saw Lynn coming at him with her dirt bike. Lincoln simply held out his foot causing the bike to stop immediately, sending Lynn flying into a wall. Lori noticed Leni still talking on her phone. This time, Lori effortlessly took the phone off her and put it down. "No." Lori said.

"Aww." Leni whined before walking off.

Lincoln and Lori then reunited at the staircase. "Where's Rick?" Lori asked.

"I think Lana and Lola took him to their room." Lincoln replied. The two then made their way upstairs and opened the door to the twins room.

"Hey, you two aren't allowed in here!" Lola shouted before jumping at them with her golf club. Lori simply held up a pile of glitter and blew it outside the door.

Lola immediately stopped what she was doing to chase after the glitter. "Glitter!"

"Yeah well, you won't stop me!" Lana shouted before charging at them.

"GO TO BED!" Lori shouted, causing Lana to immediately fall asleep. Lincoln and Lori then went to untie Rick.

"Jesus, it's about time you tried to help me." Rick complained, rubbing his head.

"I think it's time we woke up now." Lincoln said, smiling.

"About God damn time too." Rick complained again. He then pressed something in Lincoln's ear before pressing his own causing the three of them to wake up.

When they woke up, they noticed the lights had gone out, indicating that the mall had closed. "Have we literally been lying in the girl's restroom all day?" Lori asked, looking around.

"Don't worry, I had it covered." Rick reassured her.

...

While Rick flew home in his space cruiser, Lincoln had chosen to ride home in the family van with Lori. The two were currently in the middle of a conversation. "So here's the deal," said Lori. I'll loosen up on the rules whenever Mom and Dad go out but in return, you'll back me up whenever any of our sisters start causing trouble. Deal?"

"Sounds good to me." Lincoln replied.

"You know, you're more mature then I gave you credit for." Lori confessed. "How about you and me have a game tomorrow?"

"Really?" Lincoln asked. His sisters rarely asked to join him in playing video games.

"Yeah." Lori replied before smirking. "Though I hope you're ready to get your butt kicked."

Lincoln laughed. "In your dreams, Lori." The two laughed as Lori parked the van and the two got out. However, they then noticed something odd.

"Why is Rick's space thingy still floating above the house?" Lori asked. Lincoln shrugged. Lori then opened the door to be greeted with an army of dogs in robot suits, including her own dog who was currently sitting in a chair with Lana sitting on a pillow next to him and her family locked in a cage. "Please tell me I'm still dreaming."

"Put the girl with the others and bring the boy to me." Spot commanded.

"Hey!" Lori yelped as two dogs grabbed her and brought her to the cage. Another dog pushed Lincoln forward towards Spot.

"You and Lana were always kind to me, Lincoln. That's why I will leave you with your testicles. From now on, you will be my best friend and live by my side." Spot said gesturing to the pillow opposite of Lana. Feeling that he might not have a choice. Lincoln obeyed the dog and sat down.

"Hey Lincoln, what've you been doing all day?" Lana asked.

"Oh you know. The usual weirdness? You?"

"Yeah, same with us."

"Begin phase two." Spot announced.

...

"Fighting continues as the dog army captures the eastern seaboard. It appears clear at this time that the era of human superiority has come to a bitter end." The reporter announced before two dogs busted in, causing her to scream. "Please! Please don't kill me!" The reporter begged before one of the dogs put a muzzle on her.

"What's she saying, Bill?" One of the dogs asked.

"I think she's saying, 'I love lasagna'." Bill answered sarcastically.

...

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Lana seemed to be living in luxury. Lana was playing with all of her exotic pets which were all roaming completely free while Lincoln was playing a video game. A dog then came up to him offering some refreshments. "Mmm, thanks Fido." Lincoln thanked the dog before Rick hit him from behind with a baseball bat, knocking him out.

"Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln asked in shock.

Lana also noticed her Grandpa's arrival. "Grandpa Rick, where've you been?"

"I've been playing dead. Good news, though, kids. This whole thing's gonna be over really soon." Rick stated.

"It is?" Lincoln asked.

"It's a dream, Lincoln." Rick explained. "We're in your dog's dream. The night the dogs captured us, after we all went to sleep, I used my dream inceptors to put the three of us inside Charles' dream."

"What? But it's been like a year here!" Lincoln stated, getting confused.

"It's been six hours. Dreams move one one-hundredth the speed of reality, and dog time is one-seventh human time. So, you know, every day here is like a minute. It's like Inception, Lincoln, so if it's confusing and stupid, then so is everyone's favorite movie."

"Huh. I actually kind of enjoyed this life." Lincoln admitted.

"Yeah me too." Lana also admitted.

"Yeah well now you can take comfort in the fact that the rest of your family haven't actually been slaves for a year. Anyway, d-d-d-don't worry about it, kids. Here, here take these, kids. Both of you take these." Rick said, giving both of them some kind of pills.

Both of them swallowed the pills without really thinking about it. "Are these pills gonna wake us up, or something?" Lana asked Rick.

"Close. It's gonna make your kidneys shut down."

"What?!" Lincoln and Lana both shouted.

"Just in the dream, not in real life. I modified the device so that the person dreaming can safely wake up on their own. It's necessary for the plan, kids. Don't even trip, dawgs." Rick tried to reassure them, stroking their faces.

...

Spot stood in front of a medicle table with both Lincoln and Lana on it, looking deathly ill. On the other side of the table was Rick disguised as a dog.

"It's pretty bad, Emperor Spot. We're gonna need to do another operation." Rick explained.

"Anything." Spot stated in desperation, stroking their heads. "Anything for my precious Lincoln and dear Lana."

Another dog holding a clipboard approached the emperor. "Sir, as your accountant, I must advise you that these medical expenses are putting you in serious financial jeopardy. You could lose your kingdom."

Spot slapped the clipboard out of his accountants' hands. "To hell with my kingdom, bean counter. I would trade it all for my human's health and happiness."

"Do you think they would have done this for us?" The accountant asked.

"We are not them!" Spot stated. "We are not them."

...

Spot then barked as he woke up from his dream. He climbed into his robot suit, got up from the bed and turned to the dog standing near the door. "Assemble the troops. I've made a decision."

...

Spot stood before the entire Loud Family, including the other pets, Cliff the cat, Geo the hamster and Walter the canary. They were currently near an animal shelter.

"Taking over the human's world will lead to nothing but more heartbreak, more cruelty. Instead, we will go to a new world and colonize it with a society of intelligent dogs, one that will not make the same mistakes as humanity and one where pet insurance will be mandatory." Spot gestured to the portal that a row of dogs were leaving in.

Leni stepped forward. "I'm sorry I couldn't find your test results before you had to leave."

"It is ok, Leni." Spot reassured her. "Where we're going, we will never have to worry about losing our test results." Spot patted her head before Lincoln moved forward.

"I'm gonna miss you buddy." Lincoln stated sadly.

Spot hugged him. "You can call me Charles, Lincoln, and I'm going to miss you, too, very much." He gave Lincoln a lick before Lana then stepped forward, tears welling in her eyes.

"I'm really, really, REALLY gonna miss you Charles." Lana sobbed.

"I know." Charles stated before he kneeled down, got out of the robot suit and jumped on Lana giving her loads of licks while Lana enjoyed one last petting session. After a minute, Charles got back into the robot suit. He then turned to the other Loud House pets who seemed sad to see Charles go.

"Farewell my former bedfellows." Charles simply stated before walking towards the portal. After turning back to look at his former family one last time, he jumped through, leaving for good.

Lana started to cry again. "It's ok Lana." Lincoln comforted her, giving her a hug and picking her up. "They'll be happy where they're going. Say Grandpa Rick what do you think it'll be like for them?"

"I think it will be great, Lincoln. You know it could be developed in-into a very satisfying project for people of all ages. I mean, I'd watch it, Lincoln, for at least 11 minutes a pop. You know, may-maybe they'll do it board-driven." Rick answered.

"Now doesn't that sound like a comforting idea Lana?" Lincoln asked her.

Lana sniffled before smiling at Lincoln. "I have no idea what he was talking about."


	3. Heavy Meddling With The Anatomy

Lincoln was at school, opening his locker when he noticed something wrong. He had just been pantsed.

"Really?" Lincoln asked.

...

Later on, after class had ended, Lincoln had tried to get out of his seat, only to fall over as his shoelaces had been tied together.

"Oh, real original." Lincoln commented in irritation.

...

Later at lunchtime, Lincoln sat down only to sit on a whoopee cushion that made a loud farting noise.

"That's real mature!" Lincoln stated sarcastically.

...

Later on again, Lincoln looked to see if the person pulling pranks was around. Seeing no sign of them, Lincoln opened his locker, only for a pile of trash to fall out onto him. Lincoln fumed as he got out of the trash pile. "All right! That's it!"

...

After school, Lincoln walked home along with Clyde. "So, you really confronted that bully?" Clyde asked.

"That's right." Lincoln answered. "I said to meet me at 3:30 in front of my house and that we're gonna settle this."

"Man, she seemed grouchier then usual today." Clyde recalled. "Are you sure you wanna start a fight?"

"I'm not an animal, Clyde. I'm going to deliver a strongly worded speech...as soon as I write it." Lincoln declared.

"Looks like she left you a note of her own." Clyde stated, pointing out a note that was stuck to Lincoln's head with a piece of gum.

"Huh?" Lincoln pulled the note off his head before reading it. "Lame-O."

Clyde then sniffed the gum that was still on Lincoln's head. "Ooh! Watermelon lime!"

"Better not let my sisters see this, 'cause then they'll want to get involved and make things worse, the way they always do."

"I don't know." Clyde argued. "Maybe they'd be helpful. Your sister Lori gives great advice. She told me to never be myself. I love that woman." Thinking about Lori had put Clyde into a lovesick trance.

Lincoln sighed. "Clyde, you have no idea what it's like to have ten meddling sisters. One time, I ended up covered head to toe in bandages which was then followed by Leni accidentally dropping a bowl of boiling hot soup into my lap! And that was just over a paper cut!"

"Well, then, you'd better get that gum out." Clyde warned. "You wanna look intimidating for that bully."

"I was born intimidating." Lincoln declared before trying to get the gum out to no avail. "Ew, ew! Gross!"

...

After Lincoln had gotten home, he looked around to make sure his sisters wouldn't spot him. It seemed like the coast was clear so Lincoln made his way to sneak into the kitchen to get some peanut butter to get the gum out.

"You should have heard Carol the other week." Lincoln jumped at Lori's voice but quickly realised she was just talking on the phone. "She was all like 'I got an internship with a scientist!' She is so full of herself!"

Lincoln was about to move on until he heard Lana sighing in the living room. Lincoln frowned in concern. Lana had been in a depressive state since the family's dog had left them. Forgetting about his current dilemma, Lincoln went to check up on her.

"Hey, are you doing okay?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." Lana said as she was watching TV, flipping through the channels with nothing in mind that she wanted to watch. Lincoln wasn't convinced as she still sounded a little down. Lana then turned to Lincoln, noticing something wrong. "Why is there gum in your hair?"

"Uhh...".

"Is someone bullying you?"

"N-no, it's just-."

"Everyone! Lincoln's being bullied!" At Lana's call, the rest of Lincoln's siblings rushed in like a tornado.

"Oh no." Lincoln groaned.

"You're being picked on?" Lynn asked.

"Guys! Guys! Please stay out of this! You'll only make it worse!" Lincoln begged but to no avail.

"If by worse you mean better, I agree." Lori stated. At that moment, Rick had come in.

"W-what's going on? What's everyone yelling about?" Rick asked.

"Lincoln's being bullied by someone." Lori answered.

"Oh. Well then-"

Before Rick could go on, he was interrupted by Lola. "You should go straight to the school principal!"

"Forget that. You should literally text an embarrassing picture of him to all his friends." Lori advised. All the sisters were now concentrating hard on how to deal with this bully to the point that they weren't really paying attention to what Lincoln or what Rick had to say.

"I'm gonna write an insult comedy routine that will leave him in tears." Luan stated.

Lynn then flipped towards Lincoln before delivering a kick that sent him to the ground. "Basic stealth ninja kick. That's how you're gonna take him down."

Lincoln groaned in pain as he got back up. "Lynn, I'm not going to fight. I-"

Before he could finish, Lynn interrupted him with a groan, leaving to go somewhere. "Ugh! Fine! I'll take care of this myself."

"Hey, uh I have an idea. How about you just-"

Yet again Rick was interrupted as Luna slammed a pair of cymbals in his and Lincoln's ears. "You should do this! His ears'll be ringing for days!"

"Ugly jokes are always good, too. Like, 'You're so ugly, you have to trick-or-treat over the phone!'" Luan offered.

"What?" Lincoln asked as his ears were still ringing. Lynn then came back, holding a random boy Lincoln had never seen before.

"Look! I found him!" Lynn called out. The rest of the sisters then surrounded the boy while Rick just stared, not sure what to even make of his granddaughters' behaviour.

"What the hell..." Rick muttered quietly to himself.

Before his sisters could hurt the boy, Lincoln stopped them. "Wait! Stop! This guy isn't my enemy! Although, thanks to you, he probably will be now." The boy glared at him.

"Oh...why are you still here?" Lynn asked before kicking the boy out. "I'll go get another boy."

"No Lynn, stop!" Lincoln called out before she made more enemies for him. "It's not even a boy!"

Everyone then stopped, perplexed at Lincoln's statement.

"Is it a dog?" Leni asked.

Lincoln sighed. "It's a girl..."

At first, the girls were flabbergasted at the revelation before all of them, except Lisa, started squealing with delight. Rick on the other hand, was starting to get more irritated with his granddaughters.

"What?" Lincoln asked in confusion.

The girls besides Lisa then hugged him. "Normally, I don't care for inane human emotions, but...eeeeee!" Lisa squealed as she joined in on the hug.

"Lincoln! Why didn't you tell us you had a girlfriend?" Luna asked.

"She sounds so pretty!" Lola gushed.

"What is happening?" Lincoln mostly asked himself as he was being suffocated. His sisters then let go of him.

"When a girl picks on you, that only ever means one thing: she likes you~." Lori teased as Lincoln's sisters all erupted in another bout of squealing. Rick had decided he'd finally had enough.

"Ok, can you all shut the hell up for just a sec?" Rick demanded prompting all the girls to stop. "Seriously? Y-You think because this bully is a girl that she likes him? What is this? The nineties?"

"B-But, that's just how it is. Whenever boys and girls tease each other, it's usually because they have a crush." Lori stammered, slightly unsure of herself after Rick's comments.

"You don't know this girl. You don't why she could be bullying Lincoln. She could just be a jerk. B-besides, what are you trying to teach him? That when someone treats you like crap and puts gum in your hair, it means they love you?" Rick chastised. At this, the sisters started to look downwards, feeling slightly ashamed of themselves.

"Well, when you put it that way..." Lori conceded.

"And this is why I don't care for inane human emotions." Lisa stated. Rick made a mental note to talk to Lisa about these comments at a later time.

Rick then knelt down and placed his hands on Lincoln's shoulders. "Alright Lincoln. This is what you gotta do. Y-you gotta go up to this girl's face, tell her exactly how you feel, then tell her to cut the crap. If she's still bullying you after that, me and your parents will take it to school. And trust me, they-they'll listen to what I have to say."

"That...actually sounds like a good idea. And convenient since I already told her to meet me at 3:30. Thanks Grandpa Rick. At least someone in this house can actually help me out." Lincoln snarked before going to his room to sort out his hair problem. The rest of his sisters frowned at that last comment.

"Jesus, you guys ever thought of toning it down a bit?" Rick snarked.

"Well gee. Sorry for caring." Lori snapped back.

...

Ronnie Anne Santiago was a Latin-American girl with dark tan skin, black hair worn in a ponytail, freckles on her cheeks, and two buck teeth that stick out of her mouth. She wore a purple hooded sweatshirt with jean shorts. As she made her way to Lincoln's house, she asked herself why had even agreed to meet up with Lincoln. If she were honest, she hadn't been thinking clearly since she woke up this morning feeling slightly sick. She decided it wasn't worth telling her mom about, though it kept her in a bad mood throughout the day. She briefly wondered if she should just apologise to Lincoln as in hindsight, she felt like she went a little too hard on him today but her pride made her decide against it. She went on not really knowing what to expect as she ignored the grumbling in her stomach.

...

"It's 3:30. Let's do this." Lincoln stated. He opened the door and left the house to see Ronnie Anne standing on the other side of the street with a smug look on her face. As he made his way over to her, his sisters had all decided to watch from the window in case anything went wrong.

"Sup Lame-O. You said you wanted to settle this?" Ronnie Anne taunted.

"Ronnie Anne, I've something to confess to you." Lincoln stated.

"Y-you do?" Ronnie Anne stammered. Her eyes flickered for a moment before donning a look of smugness again.

"Yeah. You need to stop with the pranks. I don't know if you realise this, but I really don't find them funny. They're actually really upsetting me. I've decided that I won't just take it any more. So either you stop or my parents'll be taking it to the school."

As the sisters were watching him, Rick also decided to come to the window to watch as well. His eyes then widened when he saw who Lincoln's bully actually was. "Ohhh... that's who's bullying him." Rick said in realisation.

"Is something wrong, Grandpa Rick?" Lori asked.

"Uh, nope. Nothing's wrong." Rick lied.

Ronnie Anne hadn't expected Lincoln to stand up for himself so suddenly. She mentally kicked herself. She should've known Lincoln would react like this eventually. Especially after today. How could she be so stupid she thought to herself.

Ronnie Anne frowned and looked away. "Y-yeah ok. You made your point. I'll leave you alone then or whatever."

While Ronnie Anne was trying to act tough, Lincoln could tell there was a hint of sadness in her tone. Lincoln's more empathetic side kicked in as he recalled what Rick said. He didn't know what reason Ronnie Anne had for bullying him. Who knows what she was going through.

"Well you don't have to leave me alone, I mean, why can't we just be friends?" Lincoln offered, sticking his hand out for her to shake.

Ronnie Anne turned back to Lincoln with a raised eyebrow. "Friends?..." She thought for a moment before smiling. "Yeah sure, why not." Ronnie Anne lifted her arm to shake his hand before suddenly clinging her stomach in pain. "Guh!"

"Um, are you ok?" Lincoln asked in concern. Ronnie Anne groaned in response before falling to her knees.

"Ah shit." Rick stated before running outside to the two. "H-hey Lincoln! Is this your new friend? W-why don't you come inside for a bit, show her around the place?" Rick offered as he started to push the two towards the house.

"Um, Grandpa Rick, is something wrong?" Lincoln asked.

"What? No! N-N-Nothings wrong!" Rick lied. As soon as he pushed them inside, Ronnie Anne looked around.

"Um...nice place you got here?" Was all Ronnie Anne said before Rick suddenly shot her with a tranquiliser gun, putting her to sleep.

"Grandpa Rick! What are you doing?!" Lincoln asked in shock. His sisters now joining him.

"Ok, you're gonna have to bear with me on this one, Lincoln." Rick stated as he picked Ronnie Anne up and made his way to the garage. "I built a theme park inside your friend, Lincoln."

"WHAT?!" Lincoln and the rest of his sisters all shouted at once. "Why on earth would you do that?" Lincoln asked, flabbergasted.

"Look, it's a little business venture I've been cookin' up on the side with Dr. Bloom. An amusement park inside a human body. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any volunteers. So, a while ago, I saw Lincoln getting picked on when I was picking him up from school and I thought 'eh, why not.'"

"Seriously?" Lori yelled as they entered the garage. Rick layed Ronnie Anne on the table and hooked her up with some medical equipment.

"Look in my defence, I was really drunk at the time." Rick admitted.

"I can't believe you! I thought my sisters' meddling was bad but this? You're just as bad as them! Maybe even worse!" Lincoln ranted, disappointed and angry with his grandpa.

"Look, you can get mad at me later, right now, I'm trying to save your friends' life. Lisa, you know about medical science right?" Rick asked.

"Affirmative. I have some experiences in that field." Lisa answered plainly.

"Good. You and me will be helping her from the outside. Lincoln, you'll be helping her from the inside." Rick stated as he handed Lincoln a laser gun.

"Huh?"

"I'm going to shrink you down Lincoln. You're going to go into Ronnie Anne to find out what the problem is. You can start by finding Dr. Xenon Bloom. He'll know what's goin' on. If you see anything that looks like a disease, kill it. Trust me, you'll know when you see it"

"Well that's one way to get to a girl's heart. Heh heh, get it?" Luan joked. Everyone groaned in response.

"Ooh ooh, can I come? A theme park inside a body sounds awesome!" Lana asked enthusiastically.

Rick thought for a second before handing her another laser gun. "Sure, Lincoln might need some backup. Ok, everyone else can get lost now."

The rest of the sisters started to leave though Lori decided to make a comment before leaving, giving him a smug look. "Just one question, how does it feel to be a massive hypocrite?"

Rick glared at her, deciding not to answer her question. After they all left, Lucy asked "So, should I get the funeral equipment ready just in case?" This earned her a couple glares from her sisters.

Rick then gave both Lincoln and Lana a glass oxygen helmet with a breathing device on their backs. He then got out a shrink ray, plugged it in and set Lincoln and Lana onto it. "Hold your breath until the process is over or your lungs will collapse."

Rick then activated the machine, shrinking Lincoln and Lana down to microscopic size. Rick then picked up the container that Lincoln and Lana shrank into and put it into a syringe. He then injected them into Ronnie Anne's chest.

...

Lincoln and Lana screamed as they were injected into Ronnie Anne's body in a stream of pink fluid. Luckily, they managed to land on something soft and pulsating. While Lincoln was slightly disgusted, Lana was amazed and excited. "Cool! So this is what the inside of a body looks like!"

Both Lincoln and Lana then heard Rick's voice come through their headpieces. "Lincoln, Lana can you hear me? Head north!"

"Where are we?" Lincoln asked before he and Lana followed Rick's directions.

"Depending on my aim, you should be just south of the entrance." Rick answered. After he said that, both of them gasped as they had found what they were looking for.

"Welcome kids. Welcome...to Anatomy Park!" Rick announced dramatically. The park almost looked like a regular theme park apart from the fact that all the attractions were mixed in with Ronnie Anne's internal organs.

"Oh my gosh. This is the best theme park ever!" Lana squealed as she ran around the place looking at all the attractions.

"May I inquire as to why you decided to build an amusement park inside a human body?" Lisa asked Rick as she used an X-ray to try and find anything unusual with Ronnie Anne.

"Science isn't cheap, Lisa. This should really help put a dent in the overhead."

"Wow, this is crazy!" Lincoln stated as he looked around at the attractions. "Spleen Mountain? Bladder Falls? Pirates of the pancreas?"

"You got a problem with that last one, Lincoln." Rick asked in a defensive tone.

"Is this what's hurting Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln asked.

"What? No no no, the attractions were designed in a way which are completely harmless and absolutely safe for Ronnie Anne. There's something else here that's causing this."

"Right." Lincoln said, not totally convinced this wasn't Rick's fault somehow.

"If I sounded a little defensive, it's because Pirates of the Pancreas was my baby." Rick started to rant. "I-I got a lot of push-back when I pitched it, Lincoln. I guess I'm still a little defensive. Let's just find Dr. Bloom, alright? I-I'm picking up a distress signal in the liver, Lincoln. Lana, proceed to the liver."

Lincoln and Lana then reunited at a sign posting directions. After seeing where they needed to go, the haunted liver, the two got onto a shuttle to make their way to the lower abdomen. On the way, Lana decided to start a conversation with Lincoln.

"Are you still mad at us for meddling?" Lana asked.

Lincoln sighed. "Honestly, I'm more mad at Grandpa Rick for doing all..." Lincoln gestured to everything around him. "This! Look I appreciate that you just wanna help but you guys can be really overbearing. Unless things are looking really bad, I'd rather you guys just let me handle my own problems. You see where I'm coming from?"

"Yeah..I think I understand." Lana conceded before brightening up. "Still, it's not so bad. This place is awesome!"

Lincoln smiled. At least there was some positives from this as Lana now seems to be cheering up.

"Arriving at 'Liver'. Mind the gap." An automated voice called out. Lincoln and Lana got out the shuttle to see that they've entered a darker area with flickering lights. It seems that the liver had been converted to a haunted house-style attraction.

"Spooky." Lana remarked.

"Bet Lucy would've loved to see this place." Lincoln thought out loud as both of them entered 'The Haunted Liver'. When they went in, they both got jumpscared from behind them by an animatronic werewolf causing them to scream.

"AAH! A monster!" They both screamed before Lincoln got his gun out and shot at the animatronic, destroying it.

"Goddamnit Lincoln, that was just an animatronic werewolf, do you know how much that's gonna cost?" Rick ranted.

"Well, sorry." Lincoln said sarcastically before an arm reached out from behind him and grabbed Lincoln's throat.

A large, muscular, shirtless man with a mustache, a unibrow and a short mohawk came from behind the corner and picked Lincoln up, pinning him against the wall with his forearm. The man spoke with an accent. "Who are you? Answer me! Where did you come from?"

"Ack! My name's L-Lincoln! M-My Grandpa Rick sent me!" Lincoln managed to choke out.

"Poncho! That's quite enough." An amoeba looking alien with glasses and a mustache, holding a cane, commanded to the man. Poncho glared at Lincoln before letting him go. Lana then ran up to Lincoln to check if he was alright.

"Lincoln, Lana, that's Poncho." The amoeba alien said introducing him. Two other people then entered the room. "This is Roger." The amoeba said gesturing to the man wearing what looked like safari gear. "And this is Carol." He then said gesturing to the teenage girl who looked about Lori's age. She had long blonde hair and wore a purple headband, a purple shirt with a white collar and a brown skirt with a checker pattern. The humans there were also wearing the same kind of gear as Lincoln and Lana.

"Wait, Carol? Aren't you that girl that Lori keeps complaining about?" Lincoln asked.

Carol rolled her eyes. "Pfft. Yeah that sounds like Lori. Lemme guess, she brags about how much better she is then me right?"

"Uhh..." Lincoln said in confusion before the amoeba interrupted them.

"Ahem. And I am Dr. Xenon Bloom." Dr. Bloom finished introducing himself. A speaker apparatus then emerged from Lincoln's helmet. Rick's voice then spoke from it. "Hey Bloom, it's Rick. What the hell's goin' on here?"

"I don't know why." Dr. Bloom answered. "But the entire security system has shut down and for some reason, the place is now crawling with diseases."

"Do you have any idea how this happened?" Rick asked as everyone walked out the Haunted Liver. "You were meant to keep the place safe!"

"I don't know!" Dr. Bloom admitted. "This place was perfectly fine until today when these diseases just showed up out of nowhere."

A distant roar could suddenly be heard. "Hey Doc, I have news for ya." Poncho stated as a giant, yellow, boil covered monser then showed up. "Your living theme park is officially a wild safari!"

"Hepatitis A! Run!" Roger shouted. Poncho then got out out a machine gun and started firing at the disease. Lincoln and Lana then got out their own guns and fired at the monster. Their guns seemed to be more effective on the monster than Poncho's gun as the disease soon fell over dead before dissolving away.

"Good job Lincoln and Lana!" Dr. Bloom complimented them. "You've killed one of the diseases. If only Rick had supplied us with that kind of weaponary."

"What happened?" Rick asked Lincoln and Lana.

"I think we killed a Hepatitis A?" Lincoln answered unsure.

"Oh, that's great Lincoln!" Rick complimented.

"I'm detecting some kind of anomaly in the respiratory system." Lisa stated.

"All right Lincoln, you need to head for the respiratory system. A-also if you see any diseases there, whatever you do, don't shoot under any circumstances. Just run for it and I'll take care of it." Rick instructed.

"Ok got it." Lincoln said before turning to the group. "Rick said we need to go to the respiratory system."

"Ah, that's not too far from here. I'll lead the way." Dr. Bloom stated.

"Oh, also Rick said don't use your guns no matter what." Lincoln remembered.

"Right, well, you heard him Poncho." Dr. Bloom said. Poncho growled in response and muttered something to himself as the group moved on.

The group eventually reached a door with a sign that said 'Alveoli Forest' on it. Roger then examined a meter near the door. "That's strange..." he said as he tapped the meter. "Air flow is down twenty percent."

"So the brain isn't getting enough oxygen. That's why security is offline." Dr. Bloom realised.

"I guess we better check it out then." Lincoln commented. The group passed through the door. As it started to close, a man in a dog mascot suit rushed up and passed through.

"Hey, wait for me!" The man called out. After he made it in, the bald man took off the head part of his costume.

Dr. Bloom pointed his cane at the man. "Put that back on, Alexander!" Dr. Bloom demanded angrily. Alexander paused for a moment before begrudgingly putting it back on.

The group examined the area. "If we got up to the bronchial catwalk, we could look for blockage." Roger deduced.

"I'll go!" Lana said enthusiastically before jumping onto the bouncy, round alveoli, clinging to it.

"Don't be a hero, kid." Poncho warned her.

"I'm not. I'm doin' it cus it's fun!" Lana replied back before jumping up to another one.

"We shouldn't be here." Poncho commented, about to cock his gun before Dr. Bloom stopped him.

"Whatever you do, don't fire that thing in here! We must save Ronnie Anne. This is my life's work."

After looking around in curiosity, Carol came across growth of bacteria on some tar. She touched it, making it squelch, causing her to gasp in fear and recoil. "Ah!"

"It's alright, my dear." Dr. Bloom reassured her. "Nearly all human lungs contain a strain of this bacteria, but the scar tissue…" he prodded it with his cane. He then saw that something had escaped from some of the scar tissue "…keeps them...dormant." He then looked up towards Lana who was getting close to the catwalk. "Lana! Get down!"

Lana had just jumped to grab onto the catwalk before seeing a large number of black, spider-like creatures coming down. "Whoa!" Lana shouted before falling back down, harmlessly bouncing on the alveoli on the way down.

"What are those things?" Lincoln asked.

"Tuberculosis, coming in fast!" Dr. Bloom answered. "Alright, everyone run for it!"

The group did exactly that as they had managed to escape the tuberculosis with no casualties, sealing up the entrance. Lincoln then pressed the speaker on his helmet. "Grandpa Rick, Ronnie Anne's got tuberculosis!"

"Tuberculosis, got it. Don't worry, me and Lisa will deal with it." Rick told him.

"How's Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln asked in concern.

"She's hanging in there Lincoln." Rick said reassuringly. "You're both doing good so far, you just need to head to the colon. I think there might be a case of gonorrhea happening down there. It's also the way to the emergency station. There's a ray that'll enlarge you. Me and Lisa can handle the rest."

"Ok." Lincoln said before turning to the group. "Everyone! We need to get to the colon!"

Lincoln moved forward as Poncho glared at him. "Now I'm takin' orders from a nine-year-old boy?!"

Dr. Bloom came up to walk beside Lincoln in order to talk privately. "The scar sacs containing the tuberculosis were sabotaged. This disaster was an inside job. Keep your eyes on Alexander. For some reason, I think he might hold a grudge."

Roger then walked up besides them. "Intestines are ahead to the left. Then the right. Then left. Et cetera."

Lincoln then slowed down in order to talk to Carol. "So how'd you end up working with Grandpa Rick?"

"Ugh, I saw an ad about some kind of experimental theme park being run by a scientist. Though no one told me that the theme park was in some little girl. Or that it could be potentially life threatening." Carol explained, slightly frustrated by the situation.

"Yeah, you're not the only one Rick hides stuff from. You know, no offence but from how Lori described you, I kinda expected you to be a jerk." Lincoln admitted.

Carol rolled her eyes. "Trust me, I'm willing to bet 95% of what she says about me isn't true."

The two conversed for a bit before the group made it to the small intestine. The group had gotten into a raft in order to sail down it. The intestine was filled with animatronics that were singing.

"It's a road of laughter, a trail of food. It's a pathway that breaks up the fat in food. It's a tube in the chest and it sends out the rest. It's a small, small intestine!" The animatronics sang.

"It goes on like this for miles..." Roger stated, clearly finding the animatronics irritating.

"And then we get to the large intestine!" Dr. Bloom said excitedly.

"Can I please just take this stupid outfit off already?" Alexander asked.

"No!" Dr. Bloom angrily replied before lightly whacking his head with his cane.

Lincoln groaned as he also found the singing animatronics irritating. He looked at Lana. At least she seemed to be having fun as she was bobbing her head to the music.

Suddenly, a low rumbling can be heard. "Shh." Poncho shushed. "I hear something."

Another large monster with four spiked tentacles then emerged in front of them from the river, roaring at them.

"Don't move." Dr. Bloom whispered. "Gonorrhoea can't see us if we don't move."

The gonorrhoea then roared more viciously before moving towards them.

"Wait! I was wrong! I was thinking of a T-rex." Dr. Bloom confessed.

Poncho pulled out his gun, but before he could fire, the gonorrhoea capsized the boat, causing them all to fall overboard. They then swam to the shore on the side of the intestine.

"We're sitting ducks!" Carol gasped before Lincoln and Lana moved forward.

"Don't worry, we got this." Lincoln stated as both of them got out their guns and started firing away at the disease. It soon died and dissolved away.

"Nice one." Carol complimented Lincoln, offering him a fist bump which he reciprocated. As the group congratulated Lincoln and Lana, no one noticed Poncho glaring angrily at the two of them.

...

The group casually made their way across a platform to a growth ray. A giant metal door could be seen to the side.

"Well done you two!" Dr. Bloom complimented Lincoln and Lana. "Thanks to you and Rick, Anatomy park can safely continue business! Now if only we knew what caused all this."

Roger got to work on the growth ray. "I should be able to access the backup generator to get the growth ray back online. If it works, you two will be regular-sized in a few minutes."

"Make that three, I'm going too. I quit." Carol stated.

"That's a shame but fair enough." Dr. Bloom remarked.

Lana then noticed a strange black creature peaking out of Poncho's backpack. "Hey Poncho? What's that in your backpack?"

Poncho turned to face Lana, shocked that she had caught him. This gave Dr. Bloom full view of what was in Poncho's backpack.

"That's bubonic plague! What are you doing with that, Poncho?" Dr. Bloom asked.

Poncho then suddenly grabbed Lincoln, holding a knife to his throat. "Everybody get back!"

"Lincoln!" Lana called out.

"Poncho, you son of a bitch! You released the tuberculosis and spreaded all these diseases just so you could steal from me?" Dr. Bloom deduced.

Poncho laughed. "That's right, baby. A lot of people would pay top dollar to decimate the population. I'll take the highest bidder. Al Quaeda. North Korea. Republicans! Shriners! Balding men that work out! People on the Internet that are only turned on by cartoons of Japanese teenagers! Anything is better than working for you!" Poncho stated pointing his knife at Dr. Bloom. "You pompous, negligent, iTunes Gift Card as a holiday bonus-giving—"

Before he could finish, Lana let out an angry shout before jumping onto him. He stumbled back, allowing Lincoln to escape as Lana had gotten onto his face to start punching at him. "Get off me you brat!" Poncho shouted. The bubonic plague then climbed up and bit his shoulder making him jump and Lana fall off him. "Ah! Eh! Get! Get off!" Poncho begged before he backed up to the railing and then fell off. He screamed as he fell to his and the bubonic plague's death.

Lana then got up and called after him. "That's what you get for messing with my brother and his friend, you big, stupid jerk!" Lana then went to Lincoln. "Lincoln! Are you ok?"

"I'm fine. Now that kind of meddling, I can get behind." Lincoln stated, smiling at her. Lana had a big grin on her face as Lincoln patted her back.

Dr. Bloom shook his head, tutting. "So, he smuggled in the diseases." He sighed. "I told Rick we should have done background checks. Oh well. All's well that ends well. Roger?"

"Should be ready in just a minute." Roger stated.

"Wait, how's this going to work while we're still inside Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln asked.

"Well you see Lincoln," Dr. Bloom started to explain. "The rate at which you'll grow is much slower than your grandfather's shrinking machine. Once it's activated, it'll give you three enough time to leave this place."

"Um, where exactly are we leaving from?" Lincoln asked.

...

Ten minutes later, Lincoln, Lana and Carol were back to their regular sizes in Rick's garage. They all had looks of disgust on their faces, including Lana. "So we all agree to never bring that up ever again, right?" Lincoln asked. Everyone nodded in response.

"Is it done?" Lori asked as she came in before noticing Carol. "Carol?! What's she doing here?"

"Leaving. I quit Mr. Sanchez." Carol stated before leaving the garage. Rick simply groaned in response.

"Soooo, how did it go?" Lori asked both her siblings.

Lana started gushing. "It was awesome! It was like a real theme park with like, body part stuff. There were these bouncy balls, a river full of gunk and, oh, I also saved Lincoln's life." Lana grinned proudly at that last part.

"Really?" Lori asked, glad that Lana was now in a better good mood.

Lincoln, however, was preoccupied with Ronnie Anne. "So, how's Ronnie Anne?" Lincoln asked.

"She's good, Lincoln. Me and Lisa took care of everything else so mission accomplished and no one died! High five!" Rick offered Lincoln a high five. Lincoln just gave him a deadpan look. "Yeah ok. She'll be up in a few minutes. You can go try to explain something to her or whatever. I'm out." Rick stated before walking off.

...

Ronnie Anne woke up on the living room couch feeling better then she had all day. "Ugh...what happened?"

"You passed out." Lincoln answered.

Ronnie Anne got up to look at him. "Huh? How long was I out for?"

"Umm...a while." Lincoln answered, not really sure how long it had been. Ronnie Anne then got out her phone to look at the time.

"Uh oh! Mom doesn't know where I am! I gotta go! See ya!" Ronnie Anne stated before getting up and running out the house.

...

Later on, Lincoln had gone to his room to relax when he heard whistling come from outside. "Huh?" He went over to open it only for a rock to come flying in. There was a note attached to the rock. Lincoln picked up the note to read it. "Sorry, Lame-O. Here's my number. Text me? XOXO, Ronnie Anne."

Lincoln blinked in surprise at the letter. "Wow, I guess my sisters were actually right this one time." Lincoln then addressed the audience. "But don't tell them I said that."


	4. No Laughing Matter For M. Night Shym-Aliens!

It was early in the morning. Lincoln yawned as he had just gotten up and had gone to the kitchen to get some breakfast.

Luan was there, currently pouring herself a glass of fruit juice. "Hey, Lincoln. Want some punch?" She asked.

"Sure."

Luan then got out an extendable boxing glove and punched her brother with it, sending him flying and screaming through the kitchen. Luan laughed at his expense. "If that joke knocked you out, don't miss my performance in the Junior Comedian's Contest tomorrow at the Chortle Portal."

Luan got out a flyer and handed it to Lincoln before offering her hand to help him up. "It's sure to generate a lot of..."

As Lincoln grabbed her hand, he ended up with a shock as Luan had a joy buzzer in her hand. "Aah!"

"...buzz!" Luan laughed before running off.

...

In the bathroom, Lori was putting on her mascara and Leni was putting on some lipstick. Luan then barged in, making both of them ruin their faces.

"Did you guys hear that the lipstick and the eyeliner got into a fight? Don't worry. They'll makeup!" Luan laughed and nudged Leni. "Get it?" Both of them sighed before Luan handed each of them a flyer.

"Come see me perform in the Junior Comedian's Contest tomorrow. It'll definitely leave you feeling..." Luan flushed the toilet. "...flushed!"

Luna then screamed as she was currently taking a shower and the flushed toilet caused the water to get too hot. She stuck her head out to glare at Luan who simply placed a flyer into her soaped up hair.

...

In Lisa's room, Lisa was working on some chemicals before Luan barged in. "Hey, Lisa, what's 3.14159?"

Lisa scoffed. "Pfft. Don't waste my time. That's pi."

"Did you say pie?" Luan asked before pelting Lisa with a pie. Luan laughed. "I'll be serving up a big slice of comedy at the Chortle Portal, tomorrow." Luan then gave Lisa a flyer which she used to wipe her glasses' lenses.

...

Lucy was in her coffin when Luan knocked on it. "Knock knock!"

"Who's there." Lucy asked with slight irritation in her tone.

"Ivan."

"Ivan who?"

Luan then opened up the coffin causing Lucy to hiss like a vampire. Luan held up Lucy's bust, Edwin as she put on a Transylvanian accent. "Ivan to suck your blood!"

"Please don't touch Edwin." Lucy told her before taking Edwin off her and closing the coffin.

"Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to be a pain in the neck!" Luan laughed. "Hey, come see my act at the Chortle Portal. I promise it won't bite!" Luan put a flyer into Lucy's coffin, still laughing as she started to leave. She then saw Lynn about to come in and quickly put a whoopee cushion on her desk before Lynn sat down on it, predictably making a fart sound.

"Gas what? You're invited, too!" Luan joked before giving her a flyer. Lynn gave her a deadpan look in response.

...

In Lana and Lola's room, Lola was having a tea party with her dolls. "Thank you all for coming to my tea party. Who would like a finger sandwich?" Lola offered her toys before Luan's own puppet, Mr Coconuts, suddenly appeared on her tray.

"Finger sandwich? I was hoping for toe-fu! Har har! Get it, toots?" Luan, while putting on a voice as Mr Coconuts, joked. Lola frowned as Luan gave her a flyer. "Don't be a dummy. Come to my show." Luan gave Lola's dolls some flyers as well before leaving the room.

...

In the garage, Rick was working on some kind of experiment before Luan barged in, making Rick jump.

"Jesus Luan, w-what are you trying to do? Blow the house up and kill us all?" Rick asked angrily.

"Well I'll be killing it with my act at the Chortle Portal. Come see it tomorrow!" Luan joked before handing Rick a flyer. It took every ounce of Rick's self control to not rip the flyer up and throw it into Luan's face.

...

Later on, the siblings and Rick had all gathered in the living room to air their grievances against Luan.

"I got punched!" Lincoln told them.

"I got flushed!" Luna complained.

"I got pied!" Lisa stated.

"Toe-fu? Really?" Lola asked, unimpressed with her sister's humour. Lana then entered the house with egg yolk and a flyer on her head.

"Let me guess. Luan?" Lincoln asked.

Lana sighed. "Ugh. She said she had a 'yolk' that would 'crack me up'. PS: it didn't."

Unbeknownst to them, Luan was on the stairs with Mr Coconuts, listening to what they were saying.

"I can't wait for her Chortle Portal thing to be over." Lynn stated while bouncing a basketball on the wall to let out her frustrations. "She's been driving me nuts!"

"Tell me about it!" Lola agreed as she was receiving a manicure from Leni. "It's not even funny! It's just obnoxious!"

"She's so annoying!" Leni added.

"Seriously, how exactly did she start a business with this kind of humour?" Rick asked, genuinely curious. "Like who is she trying to appeal to? 5 year olds? Doesn't she know that puns are the lowest form of comedy?"

"I just wish she would just stop!" Lincoln admitted.

As Lincoln got a chorus of agreement, Luan closed her eyes in sorrow. She never realised that her family hated her jokes that much. Was she really that unfunny? Had she really just an been annoyance all this time? She went back upstairs, wondering if the comedy business was even worth it anymore.

...

The next day, Lincoln came down to the kitchen, noticing Luan pouring some fruit punch which caused him to flinch. "Oh, boy. Is that punch?"

"Yep. Want some?" Luan asked.

"Not this time!" Lincoln then picked up a skillet to protect himself with. To his surprise, Luan simply poured another glass for Lincoln and offered it to him.

"Oh. Thanks?" Lincoln thanked her, despite his confusion, before Luan walked off.

Meanwhile, in the garage, Rick was dissecting a rat. "T-t-t-this is just sloppy craftsmanship." Rick stated before taking a drink from his flask.

Lincoln then showed up. "Hey Grandpa Rick. Nice day today, huh?"

"Oh, yes, Lincoln. It's almost unbelievable, isn't it?" Rick answered sarcastically.

"Oookay? By the way, I think Luan might have heard us yesterday. She seemed kinda down this morning."

"Oh, sure, buddy. Yeah. Sure. B-brilliant. Very convincing." Rick said dismissively.

"Um? Convincing?" Lincoln asked, confused at his Grandpa's behaviour.

"Oh! Responsive, too! In real time! I love it!" Rick stated sarcastically, pretending to be impressed.

"Uhh..." Lincoln trailed off as his mom then showed up.

"I am going to work." Rita stated robotically, getting into the family van. "Lincoln, good morning. Rick, good morning. I am going to work. Goodbye." Rita then drove off.

"What's with Mom?" Lincoln asked.

"Oh, what's with Mom? So, you're saying that she's acting weird? How sophisticated." Rick then started shouting at the ceiling. "Careful, guys. You're gonna burn out the CPU with this one."

"And it looks like everyone's acting weird this morning." Lincoln stated.

"Whatever, quote-unquote 'Lincoln'." Rick said dismissively.

"Ok, well I guess I'll see you after school then." Lincoln said before walking off.

...

Lincoln was at school currently in a math class being taught by Mrs. Johnson. Mrs. Johnson had dark pink hair, which is wrapped into a bun styled, and held together by a pencil. She wore a light green turtleneck sweater and wore a dark green skirt with a black zigzag stripe. "Alright, who can tell me wha is?" The students whispered among themselves before Mrs. Johnson called out. "Lincoln?"

"Oh!" Lincoln exclaimed not expecting to be called out. "That's 45 right?"

The students all gasped at Lincoln's answer. "Lincoln, that's exactly correct! 5 x 9 is 45! Come up here." Mrs. Johnson asked, sounding amazed that Lincoln could answer that question. The students cheered for Lincoln as he walked to the front of the class.

"Whoo! Way to go, Lincoln!" Clyde cheered.

Mrs. Johnson put a hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "Everybody, this is the best student. I want you to be the teacher today." Mrs. Johnson then sat down at an empty desk. "Teach us, Lincoln!"

Meanwhile, Rick was outside, spying on the scene through the window. "Interesting..."

"Uh, what exactly do you want me to teach you?" Lincoln asked, looking somewhat confused by what was happening.

A random student then raised his hand. "Ooh, ooh! How do you make concentrated dark matter?"

"Oh, that's a good question." Mrs. Johnson chipped in.

"Uh, the what now?" Lincoln asked, confused.

"Concentrated dark matter. The fuel for accelerated space travel." Mrs. Johnson explained. "Now, do you know how to make it?"

"Uhhh..." Lincoln stood there not knowing what to answer.

"Come on, Lincoln. Isn't your grandpa, like, a scientist?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Well yeah but-"

Before Lincoln could finish, Rick kicked open the door. "Lincoln, u-uh, come on. There's a family emergency."

Rick grabbed Lincoln's arm to drag him out the classroom. Mrs. Johnson then grabbed Lincoln's other arm. "Stop right there! If he leaves, I'm giving him an F!"

"He doesn't care." Rick stated before dragging Lincoln out of the classroom.

He then dragged Lincoln to the locker room. "Whoa, Rick what are you doing?" Rick had dragged Lincoln into the shower area.

"Take a shower with me, Lincoln." Rick commanded as he turned on the shower head.

"What?!" Lincoln asked incredulously.

"Listen to me, Lincoln. Get your clothes off and get in the shower right now." Rick demanded as he stripped naked. "Y-y-y-you got to trust me, Lincoln."

Lincoln looked away in disgust. "Ugh, fine. Please tell me you have a good reason for this?" Lincoln asked before stripping nude himself.

"Listen Lincoln, t-t-t-that wasn't your teacher. This isn't your school. This entire world isn't real. We're inside a huge simulation chamber on an alien spaceship."

"So all of this is fake?" Lincoln asked in disbelief.

"That's right Lincoln, Nanobotic renderings, a bunch of… crazy, fake nonsense, Lincoln. I couldn't say so until we got in the shower. They won't monitor us in here."

"Monitor us?" Lincoln asked who then covered himself up. "Who?"

"Zigerion scammers, Lincoln." Rick explained. "The galaxy's most ambitious, least successful con artists. You know, it's lucky for us they're also really uncomfortable with nudity."

"I think most people are really uncomfortable with nudity." Lincoln stated.

...

Meanwhile, in the space ship's control room, a group of zigerions were groaning, trying to avoid looking at the display of nudity on their screens. The Zigerions were humanoid aliens with four arms and a pinkish purple skin tone. They have elongated heads with a small number of spiky protrusions. They also have long antenna-like appendages that serve as their ears. All of them there were outfitted with a type of space uniform. "Oh, God, sir! They're still naked! Ugh." One of the zigerions moaned.

"Well, check every five quintons and tell me when they're not!" The zigerion sitting in the center of the room commanded. This zigerion was Prince Nebulon, the leader of this operation.

"I think we should make Kevin look, sir." Another zigerion teased.

Kevin, a nerdy looking zigerion, got flustered. "What?! No! W-w-why would you even say that?"

"Uh, sir, we have a situation over here." Informed one of the zigerions.

"If there's a wiener on that monitor, I swear to god, Stu." Prince Nebulon threatened.

"Something is drawing a lot of processing power. Oh, wait. No wonder." The screen then displayed Luan who was currently walking upstairs with a depressed look on her face. "There's another real human in the simulator."

"How did this happen?!" Prince Nebulon asked. "Where's the Abductions Department?"

The zigerions then started to argue with each other. "Hey, man, Abductions just follows the acquisition order."

"Don't put this on Acquisitions! We only acquire humans that haven't been simulated!"

"Well, Simulations doesn't simulate anybody that's been abducted, so—" Kevin chuckled before Prince Nebulon interrupted the argument.

"Oh, I see! Oh, oh! It was no one's fault. Oh, okay. I'm sorry. Well, then, problem solved. Oh, wait, no." Prince Nebulon started shouting in anger. "There's still another human in here! Who is she?"

"Rick's granddaughter, Luan Loud." Stu answered. "So far, she hasn't noticed she's in a simulation."

Prince Nebulon sighed. "Well, cap her sector at 5% processing, keep her settings on auto, and we'll deal with her later. Rick Sanchez is the target."

...

Meanwhile in the Loud house, Luan made her way to the bathroom. High school was closed today so she and her older sisters had the day off. Although now that she thought about it, she hadn't seen her younger sisters at all today. She entered the bathroom to see Lori and Leni, who were both stiffly brushing their teeth, completely in sync with one another.

"Hey girls." Luan greeted them. Both of them unnaturally turned a complete 180 degrees to face Luan.

"Listen, I heard what you guys said about me yesterday and I've decided, I'm out of the comedy game."

"Literally." Lori said.

"Totes." Leni said.

Luan sighed. "You guys were probably right about me. I'm not funny. I'm just annoying, aren't I?."

"Literally."

"Totes."

Luan flinched, not expecting such brutal honesty. "Well...you guys did me a favour. If I'm annoying to my own family, think how annoying I'd be to an audience full of strangers."

"Literally."

"Totes."

Luan sighed again. "It just sucks, you know? I always felt like comedy was my passion."

"Literally."

"Totes."

"Plus, what am I gonna do with Funny Business Inc.? I don't think I can just abandon that." Luan realised.

"Literally."

"Totes."

"Wait. So you don't think I should give up on comedy?" Luan asked, hopeful.

"Literally."

"Totes."

"So does that mean you find my jokes funny after all?" Luan asked, smiling.

"Literally."

"Totes."

"Aw, I knew you guys couldn't resist a good pun!" Luan then came up to give them both a hug, making them tilt awkwardly. "Looks like I'll be going to The Chortle Portal after all!" Luan announced.

"Literally."

"Totes."

Luan then left the bathroom. She then peered into her own room to see Luna randomly pressing on a keyboard with a blank look on her face. The keyboard was making odd beeping sounds.

"Hey Luna, watcha playing?" Luan asked.

"Human music." Luna replied.

"Hmm, human music...I like it." Luan admitted as she listened to Luna's 'music'.

...

Rick and Lincoln were still naked as they ran down the street. Lincoln was trying to cover himself.

"Granda Rick!" Lincoln called out as Rick put both their clothes into the sewer.

"Uhp, uhp, uhp! Lincoln, keep your hands off your ding-dong! It's the only way we can speak freely." Rick grabbed Lincoln's shoulders in order to show him why the place is a simulation. "Look around you, Lincoln. Do you really think this world is real? You'd have to be an idiot not to notice all the sloppy details. Look, that guy's putting a bun between two hot dogs."

Rick pointed Lincoln towards a hot dog vendor. "I don't know. I think I've seen people do that before."

"Well, look at that old lady. She's-she's walking a cat on a leash." Rick pointed Lincoln towards his neighbor, Scoots.

"Ok, I don't remember her ever owning a cat." Lincoln admitted. "In fact, I don't remember her even walking anywhere."

"S-see? Now look at this." Rick then pointed Lincoln towards a pop tart walking out of a toaster house and into a toaster car before driving away.

"Ok, that is definitely strange. I mean, why would a pop tart wanna live inside a toaster? That would be the scariest place for them to live." Lincoln stated.

"You're missing the point, Lincoln. Why would he drive a smaller toaster with wheels? I mean, does your car look like a smaller version of your house? No." Rick argued.

"Ok, so we are in a simulation. But what do they want?" Lincoln asked.

"Well, that would be obvious to you, Lincoln, if you'd been paying attention." Rick stated. Suddenly, both of them could hear a siren as an ambulance then drove up to them and the backside doors opened up.

"We got the president of the United States in here!" The paramedic inside panicked. "We need 10cc of concentrated dark matter, stat, or he'll die!" Rick then slammed the doors shut before walking off.

"Concentrated dark matter... they were asking about that in class." Lincoln realised.

"Yeah, it's a special fuel I invented to travel through space faster than anybody else." Rick explained. "These Zigerions are always trying to scam me out of my secrets, but they made a big mistake this time, Lincoln. They dragged you into this. Now they're gonna pay!"

Lincoln gulped. "What are we gonna do?"

"We'll scam the scammers, Lincoln." Rick stated. "And we're gonna take them for everything they've got."

...

The whole family, sans Rick and Lincoln (to Luan's confusion) were at the Chortle Portal. Apart from Luan, all of them had blank looks on their faces.

"Thanks for showing up everyone." Luan thanked. "I knew you didn't really mean all those things you said about me. Though I know I can be a little bit much sometimes. I'll try to tone it down."

"Literally."

"Totes."

"Normally I don't care for inane human emotions but." Lisa didn't finish that sentence.

"I want die." Lucy stated.

A man then came up onto the stage. He bent over to the point that his head touched the microphone. "Up first. Luan." The MC then walked off, still bent at an angle.

"Oh, looks like I'm first!" Luan stated as she got up to go on stage. The audience slowly clapped in sync with each other.

As soon as she got up on the stage, Luan took a deep breath to steel herself before starting her performance.

"Why did the students eat their homework? Because their teacher said it would be a piece of cake!"

The entire audience laughed though it sounded more like canned laughter from a sitcom rather than natural laughs. The audience then erupted in applause as if there was a stadium full of them. Confetti rained down on Luan as streamers were then fired off. It was like Luan had single handedly won the superbowl. The MC then came up to Luan, holding a trophy.

"Congratulations. You're winner." The MC said, handing Luan a trophy.

"W-what? Really? That's it?" Luan asked.

"Yes." The MC replied before kicking her out of The Chortle Portal.

While confused about what just happened, Luan was happy that she had won. She decided to walk home as she passed her neighbor, Mr Grouse, some random woman and the mailman all standing in a row.

"Hey, guess who won the Junior Comedian's Contest?" Luan bragged, showing off her trophy before walking off.

"My yard, my property!" Mr Grouse said.

"Lookin' good." The woman said.

"My man!" The mailman said, slightly confusing Luan. She didn't seem to notice the exact copies of those three standing near them on the way.

...

Back with Rick and Lincoln the two of them had their clothes back on and were on a stage. They were backstage, preparing for a performance. Both of them were wearing chains and Rick had adjusted his clothes to look more disheveled.

"Uh, isn't this more Luna's forte?" Lincoln asked, nervously.

"Lincoln, relax. It's just a bunch of 1s and 0s out there. You're gonna be fine." Rick then lowered Lincoln's pants slightly and put a cap on him to complete the rapper look. "Just follow my lead." Rick then gave Lincoln a fist bump before the two walked out. "Yo, deejay, drop that beat." Hip hop music started playing from the speakers. There was a small crowd outside, cheering as they came on stage.

"Uh-oh, Lincoln." Rick spoke into the microphone. "This crowd looks too small for one of our famous rap concerts. I don't think we can perform our new song, 'The Recipe for Concentrated Dark Matter,' for a crowd this tiny."

"You got that right, Rick." Lincoln replied into the microphone. Suddenly, a horde of people came out of nowhere, cheering for Rick.

"Now that's more like it! Lincoln, here we go. Let me hear everybody say 'hey-oh!' yeah!" Rick instructed the crowd who did just that. He then started giving more instructions which the crowd attempted to obey.

"All the ladies say, 'yeah!' Everybody over thirty, do this with your hands! Everybody with a red shirt, jump up and down!" As the crowd tried to follow Rick's instructions, they started getting more and more glitched.

...

As Luan walked home, she slowly started to frown. That was too easy she thought. She didn't really feel like she earned this trophy at all. She didn't do anything special to earn it. Then again, did she ever do anything special. Doubt started to plague her mind again. Was she ever really funny? She thought before noticing those same three people again.

"My yard, my property."

"Lookin' good."

"My man!" The mailman seemed to be glitching into a tree.

"Ok, something is definitely wrong here." Luan stated to herself. She then noticed a large crowd of people currently glitching out while watching a stage. She then saw who was performing. "Is that Grandpa Rick and Lincoln?"

"Yo, everyone whose first name begins with an 'L' who isn't Hispanic, walk in a circle the same number of times as the square root of your age times ten!" At Rick's last request, the crowd glitched out so hard that the simulation froze. Rick and Lincoln then jumped off stage. "Run, Lincoln! Before the system reboots!"

Luan then ran towards them. After catching up, Luan asked. "Grandpa Rick! What's going on here?"

"Luan? What are you doing here?" Rick asked back before concentrating back on what he was doing. "Screw it. We don't have time. Come on."

"Where are we even running to?" Lincoln asked.

"Out of the simulation, Lincoln. Normally, the chamber operates like a treadmill, with the virtual world disappearing behind us and being rendered in front of us as we move through it, but while it's frozen, Lincoln, we can get to..." as they ran, the textures of the simulation started to disappear as they got to the end of it. "The edge. Here we go." The three then jumped off.

"Whoa..." Lincoln stated in amazement.

Luan sighed. "I knew it was too good to be true."

"Come on kids!" Rick demanded as they ran off into the spaceship.

Back in the control room, the zigerions were still watching them. "Sir, they're over the edge."

"Yes, they are. Just as planned." Prince Nebulon laughed with the other zigerions joining in. "Oh, this is going to be such a mindfuck!"

...

The three walked around a corridor, being mindful of any zigerions that might be around. Luan was still looking down.

"Are you ok Luan?" Lincoln asked.

Luan sighed. "Not really."

"Kids, keep your eyes peeled for the central processing room. That's how we're gonna scam these idiots." Rick stated

"So, why are these aliens coming after you anyway? Don't they know you're a genius?" Lincoln asked.

"It's an obsession for them at this point. The zigerions have been trying to outsmart me for years, Lincoln. Every time they do, I'm one step ahead of them." Rick explained. The three then came across the central processing room. "Aha! Here we go."

The three entered to to see a room full of diamond-like chips embedded into giant rock pillars that were hooked up to the machinery. Rick started taking the chips. "Grab as many processors as you can carry, kids. These guys aren't good at much, but they're really good at making these chips."

The two then started to collect them. Lincoln held them all on his shirt. He then walked up to Luan to try and cheer her up. "Hey Luan, look. I've got so many, I can barely hold them all!" One then dropped onto the floor. "Oops. Dropped one."

Rick then joined in. "Don't worry about it, Lincoln. There's plenty of them, you little goofball." Rick then tossed a chip at both of them. Lincoln laughed and Luan started to cheer up as they started throwing chips at Rick.

"Come here, kids!" Rick then ran after them before lightly tackling them to the floor.

"Hey come on, quit it!" Lincoln laughed.

"Hey stop it!" Luan also laughed, the three then kept throwing shards at each other on the floor.

"Nothing wrong with just a little bit of horseplay every now and then, little fella." Rick said as he came up to give Lincoln a noogie.

The three then left the room, holding the shards in their shirts and made their way to the escape pods which was currently being guarded. The three hid behind a corner. Rick threw one of the shards to distract the guards as both of them then ran off to check what the noise was. The three then ran towards an open escape pod and closed the door, getting ejected into space with little problem.

"Well that was easy." Luan commented.

Rick closed his eyes to relax. "Totes malotes, dawg."

"It's almost hard to believe." Lincoln thought out loud.

"Believe it, Lincoln. And once again, I'm flying away with everything I can carry, and the Zigerions got nothing of mine."

...

The escape pod soon landed on Earth. Everyone got out as the door opened.

"Get in, kids." Rick commanded, directing them to the garage. "I'm gonna be able to use these processors to make some real important science stuff." Rick tipped a book to reveal a hidden safe. He then typed onto a keypad which then made a beeping sound, flashing the word 'Denied'. "Huh. I thought I entered the code right." Rick typed the code again which made another beeping sound.

Suddenly, the textures of the garage faded away as the second level simulation vanished. Prince Nebulon and some guards then came into the room. "Well, what's this? W-what could this possibly be? Because it looks like you're inside a simulation…inside a simulation. You're still on the ship. Game-day bucket go boom!"

Rick looked shocked at the zigerion prince before frowning at him. A short, female zigerion then came up to talk to the prince. "Sir, the, uh, doctor's appointment to examine the discoloration on your butthole flaps was—"

Prince Nebulon interrupted her. "Too loud, Cynthia. Too loud and too specific." Cynthia then walked off before Prince Nebulon addresed Rick again. "We've known how to make concentrated dark matter for a long time. But now we also know the code to your fabled safe, Rick Sanchez!" Prince Nebulon started to shout. "All your most valuable secrets will now be ours!"

"Uh, yeah, until I get home before you and change the combination, you bunch of idiots!" Rick insulted.

"That is why you're never getting home. Get them!" Prince Nebulon commanded. His guards then tried to grab the three before Rick suddenly pulled Lincoln's pants down. The zigerions covered their eyes, giving the three the opportunity to escape.

"Run kids!" Rick commanded as the three ran off while Lincoln pulled his pants back up. As they ran through the space ship, more guards started to come after them. Rick then grabbed Lincoln to prevent him falling as they had reached a giant room filled with all types aliens hidden behind yellow, hexagonal cells.

"Holy cow!" Luan shouted in surprise. The bridge then activated as the three then ran to the centre of the room. Lincoln and Luan looked over the edge as Rick found a switch to turn off the gravity. Rick flew up and grabbed Lincoln and Luan as he floated his way upwards. A guard then managed to grab Luan's leg but she managed to just kick him off. The three made it to another level where Rick then found another switch to turn the gravity back on, causing the guards to fall.

The group then kept running through the spaceship and eventually found a sign leading them to the escape pods. Once they entered the room, Rick closed the door and broke the control panel to keep the guards out. Luan placed her hand on some kind of wall panel in order to catch her breath which then activated and created a digital clone of Luan. The guards then managed to open the door, prompting the three to keep running.

The three then went through some kind of testing room where the zigerions were doing experiments on pop tart people and looking at a hologram of a chair. They then went through a room full of digital clones of Lori, Leni and the mailman who were all repeating 'Literally', 'Totes' and 'My man!'

They eventually reached a room full of spaceships. Rick pushed over a guard before getting onto one.

"Luan, I may need you to work the lasers." Rick told Luan who was sat at the side as Rick and Lincoln sat at the front. Rick activated the ship and flew out while a group of other ships piloted by zigerions gave chase, firing lasers at them.

"Oh no, they're hot on our tail, Grandpa Rick!" Lincoln panicked as he looked at a radar.

"I guess they really do have concentrated dark matter." Rick stated.

"Well, you know how to make it, too, right?" Lincoln asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Uh, check the engine room. We just need cesium, Plutonic quarks, and bottled water." Rick ordered. Lincoln got up and went to the back. Very shortly after, he came back in with all the ingredients.

"It's all here, Rick!" Lincoln stated.

"Wow, Lincoln. Lucky break. Grab that bucket." Lincoln then picked up the bucket before Rick continued giving instructions. "Okay, two parts Plutonic quarks, one part cesium."

"Okay. Uh-huh. Alright." Lincoln poured the ingredients into the bucket before shaking it.

"Now empty the water bottle into the bucket and pour it all into the fuel tank so we can get the hell out of here!" Lincoln did nothing. "What are you doing, Lincoln?! There's no time!"

Lincoln stood there with a blank look on his face as once again, the simulation faded away with, along with the fake Lincoln. Luan's trophy that she had held onto the whole time also faded away. "Oh no." Rick said.

"What the?" Luan said in shock.

"No!" Rick shouted. Prince Nebulon and a few other zigerions then came into the room, laughing at Rick as they rode over to him on a cruiser. Prince Nebulon then got off and made his way to Rick.

"Oh my God, Rick. How dumb are you? You're inside a simulation of a simulation... inside another giant simulation!" Prince Nebulon gestured to the room as he laughed harder at Rick. "W-We never had the recipe for concentrated dark matter. But we do now! We do now, sucka!"

"You simulated my grandson's genitalia?! Y-y-you bunch of diabolical sons of bitches!" Rick tried to attack the prince but he and Luan were being held back by the guards.

"Kevin fought real hard to supervise that project." A zigerion remarked before giving a high five to Cynthia.

"You said you weren't gonna tell anyone! I'm never gonna live this down, am I?" Kevin asked, embarrassed.

"All right. Ok. All right, great. Wonderful. You win. Can we go home now?" Rick asked.

"I don't know. Can you?" A zigerion asked before fist bumping Prince Nebulon.

"Ha! Okay, okay. Show this gullible turd to his shuttle. I'm done with him. Oh, wait. Let me get a picture." He ran over to Rick with a phone to take a picture of himself with Rick who was frowning at something. "Aww. Look at his face. He's trying to figure out if he's in a simulation still. Are you, Rick? Are you?" He then turned to Luan. "Oh and look at the little comedian! So did your grandpa teach you how to make jokes?" He laughed again. "So pathetic."

Luan closed her eyes, trying not to cry while Rick glared hatefully at the prince. The guards then took them both away as Prince Nebulon called after them. "Oh, a-and, by the way, I don't have discolored butthole flaps. That was part of the simulation."

"Oh. Uh, sir, should I cancel that appointment, then?" Cynthia asked.

"Yeah! Of course you should!" He then whispered to Cynthia. "No, keep it. Move it up, actually, if you can."

...

Rick and Luan were ejected from the ship in a shuttle. Rick then noticed Luan looking down as she stared out into the deep vastness of space. "Uh, you doing alright there Luan?"

Luan sighed. "Yeah...I just feel like a big dummy is all. Though I guess that makes two of us huh?"

"Maybe you're right, Luan. Maybe you're right." Rick said mysteriously.

...

Back on the ship, the zigerions were having a party to celebrate their success. "All right, everybody. Two parts Plutonic quarks... One part cesium..." Prince Nebulon called out as he poured the ingredients. He then addressed his colleagues. "A-And listen, I'm sorry for shouting earlier. I-I couldn't ask for a better staff. I love you guys, and I love all your families." He then readied the water bottle. "And the final ingredient..."

Luan then heard a massive explosion and looked behind her in shock. "What the heck just happened?"

"Why don't you ask the smartest people in the universe, Luan?" Rick asked before taking a sip from his flask. "Oh, yeah. You can't. They blew up."

Luan lightly chuckled. "Heh, good one Grandpa Rick." She then went back to looking down.

"All right, what's wrong? Spit it!" Rick demanded, now sick of her moping.

"I heard what you guys said about me yesterday. You guys were right. I'm not funny, am I?" Luan asked.

Rick groaned before turning to face her. "All right, look at me Luan because I'm about to get real with you here." Luan turned to face Rick as he then continued. "I'm not gonna tell you to just keep doing what you're doing and not change at all because that's not how real life works. I'll be honest Luan, I don't think your jokes are funny." Luan lightly moaned before Rick continued. "But you know, I didn't exactly start off as the genius I am now. I worked for it. If I couldn't do something, I worked at it until I could. That's what you should be doing Luan. You don't have to give up your passion. Y-you just need to do better. If something isn't working, try thinking of better material! Try something different! Just don't give up so easily. You understand Luan?"

Luan was taken back by Rick's inspiring speech but still understood what he was getting at. "Yeah. You're right. I don't have to give up comedy. If I'm not getting any laughs, I'll just have to think of better material that'll be sure to knock them off their feet."

Rick placed a hand on her shoulder. "Atta girl Luan." The two then sat in silence, staring off into space as Luan took the opportunity to think of some new material as they made their way back to Earth.


	5. Driving Miss Hazy With Mr. Meeseeks

"Run!" Rick shouted. Lincoln panted for breath as he, Rick and Lori ran. The three were currently in a damaged space station in another dimension being chased by what looked like Lynn Sr., Rita and Leni making odd zombie-like noises. The three then tackled Rick making him drop some kind of device. Lincoln picked up the device, unsure of what he should actually do as he looked at the scene while Lori hid behind him, holding on to Lincoln's shoulders.

"Lincoln, Lori! Hit the button now!" Rick demanded as he tried to get fend himself from the other family members.

"I can't do that! They're my parents and sister!" Lincoln shouted back, panicking.

"Lincoln, I already told you, it's not your family!" Rick explained, still holding off the family members. "They're clones from an alternate reality possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension's future! Do you need a mnemonic device or something? Just hit the button already!"

Lincoln looked towards a red button on the wall, still debating with himself on what he should do. The Rita clone then approached him, panting viciously until she suddenly started to act normal. "Lincoln, please. I love you, sweetheart."

While Lincoln froze in panic, Lori steeled herself. She took the device from Lincoln's hand and pushed past the Rita clone. She attached the device to the button and then pressed it. As soon as she pressed it, another device underneath the clones then activated, creating an energy field that sucked the clones into it. Lincoln and Lori watched in horror as it appeared that the clones were melting as they got sucked into the device.

As soon as it was done, Rick, seemingly unbothered by the event, got up and picked up the device before opening up a portal home. "Good work, Lori." Rick complimented.

The three then walked through the portal and arrived back in Rick's garage. Rick smiled as he held up the device. "Y-You know, these demonic alien spirits are really valuable!" Rick then turned to his grandchildren to see Lori had run off to the nearest trash can to puke into while Lincoln crossed his arms over his stomach, looking like he was trying to hold his in. "You okay, kids? Told you not to trust that tuna."

"I just watched my parents and my sister die." Lincoln stated, deeply disturbed by what he just saw.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Geez, I already told you, Lincoln, they were evil clones. Your real family's fine. I-I don't see the problem here."

Lincoln calmed himself down before sighing. He then turned to the audience. "You know, at first I thought these adventures were kinda fun. But lately, they seem to be getting more life threatening and more horrifying. But what really annoys me about them, is that it's always Grandpa Rick that decides where to go. We never get to decide!"

Lincoln then turned back to Rick. "You know Grandpa Rick, next time you want to go on one of your adventures, I think I should be in charge of what we do."

Rick raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?

"Yeah." Lincoln retorted. "If I were in charge, we might actually have an adventure that's just simple and fun for once."

Rick scoffed. "Yeah ok. Lincoln, the universe is a crazy and chaotic place. Adventures aren't just 'simple' and 'fun'. But hey if you wanna be in charge for once, hey, go for it."

"Really?" Lincoln asked, surprised that his grandpa would agree so easily.

"On one condition." Rick added. "I-I-If your adventure sucks, and we bail halfway through it, you lose the right to bitch about all future adventures. Plus, you have to do my laundry for a month."

"Ok." Lincoln agreed. "But if my adventure's good... either me or my sisters are in charge of every second adventure!"

"Every tenth." Rick rebuffed.

"Do you really wanna argue that with the rest of my sisters?" Lincoln countered.

Rick huffed in annoyance. "Ugh fine. Every third adventure."

"Deal." Lincoln agreed. "But first, I really need a break." He then turned to Lori, who had just finished puking. "Lori could you give me a ride to the comic book store?"

Before Lori replied, she covered her mouth just in case she was about to puke again. "Ugh fine. I'll do it after you do my laundry for me."

Lincoln groaned. "Come on Lori, couldn't you do it for free just this once?"

"Look Lincoln, you know the rules." Lori rebuffed. "If you want me to do favours for you, you have to do favours for me. Besides I literally need a break too." Lori held her head as she felt a headache coming on. "I am literally going to have nightmares about this."

Lincoln turned to the audience again. "Lori's the only Loud kid with a driver's license. Which means that, in this house, there's no such thing as a free ride."

Lisa then entered the garage holding a piece of paper, seemingly seeking out Lori. "In exchange for transporting me to the planetarium, I've done your calculus homework. Next time, I would appreciate a challenge."

"Thanks for the ride to the cemetery." Lucy said, making everyone, including Rick jump as she had appeared in the garage out of no where.

"GOD-mmmm." Rick shouted before putting his hand over his mouth to try and stop himself.

Lucy continued. "I finished your poem for your ten week anniversary. It's called 'Bobby'."

Lori groaned, not exactly in the best mood for this. "Ugh. All right, let's hear it."

Lucy cleared her throat before reading. "Bobby, I thought you were a stalker. When you left brownies in my locker. Bobby-"

Before Lucy could continue, Lana then came in holding something. "Hey, big sis! I found your missing retainer in the garbage, and there was some perfectly good gum stuck to it!" Lana then blew a bubble from the gum she was chewing on.

Lori covered her mouth as she felt like she was going to start puking again. She managed to keep it down. "Ok. Fine. Where do you want a ride?"

"Ride? I just like digging in the trash." Lana replied. Lori then walked over to collect her homework, poem and retainer.

"Thank you, thank you, and thank-" As soon as she picked up her retainer, she covered her mouth. Feeling like she was going to puke again, she ran out of the garage.

"What's up with her?" Lana asked.

"We've had a pretty rough day today." Lincoln explained.

Lucy then noticed Rick holding something. "What is that?"

"Oh this? It's just a device holding clones of your parents and Leni from an alternate reality possessed by demonic alien spirits from another dimension's future. D-don't worry about it too much."

"...cool."

...

Lincoln walked up the stairs, towards his room. He then noticed Leni walking by, carrying a hammer, nails and boards. "Leni!" Lincoln shouted in joy before tackling Leni in a hug making her drop everything.

Leni didn't seem bothered by it. "Hi Linky, what's the hug for?"

Lincoln let go of her and stood up, scratching the back of his head. "Sorry about that. Kinda had a rough day today." Lincoln then noticed all the tools she was carrying. "What are you doing with all this stuff?"

"I need a ride to the mall, so Lori told me to make her bed, which is weird, cause I'm pretty sure she already has one." Leni explained.

"Wait. Why are you doing chores for Lori? Aren't you old enough to drive yourself to the mall?" Lincoln asked.

Leni looked downwards, slightly embarrassed. "Yeah, but I failed the driving test twelve times. Everyone's given up on teaching me. Dad's still mad about the Fire Hydrant Paperboy Nun Incident."

"What if I helped you to drive?" Lincoln offered.

Leni got excited. "Wow! You have your license?"

"Well no, but I do know someone who does."

...

"No."

"What? Why not?" Lincoln asked Rick. He and Leni were in the garage.

"I've better things to do then teach driving. Besides I'm gonna be busy today with your adventure. Remember?" Rick asked sarcastically.

"Oh yeah." Lincoln remembered. "Isn't there anything you could do to help though?"

Rick sighed. "Ugh fine." He then picked up a small box from his shelf. "This is a Meeseeks box. Let me show you how it works. You press this." When Rick pressed the button, a tall, powder-blue humanoid figure with elongated, narrow limbs had spwned into the room. He had a large, bulbous head with a tuft of orange hair on it, beady black eyes, and a giant mouth that stretched all the way across his face.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!" The odd creature screeched in a high pitched voice.

Rick continued to explain. "You make a request. Mr. Meeseeks, fetch me my hammer."

"Yes, siree!" Mr. Meeseeks cheerfully replied.

"The Meeseeks fulfills the request." Rick continued as Mr. Meeseeks went to pick up a hammer to bring back to Rick.

"All done!" Mr. Meeseeks stated.

"Ooh!" Leni said in amazement.

"And then it stops existing." Rick finished before Mr. Meeseeks then simply poofed out of existence.

"Huh?" Leni gawked in confusion.

"Trust me, they're fine with it." Rick explained. "You just gotta keep your requests simple. They're not gods." Rick then pushed the button again, spawning another Mr. Meeseeks.

"Ooh, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!" Mr. Meeseeks screeched in the exact same manner as the last one.

"Wow, that is like, totes amazing!" Leni remarked.

"Yeah." Lincoln agreed. "Imagine how much chores could be done with these guys!"

Rick then squinted his eyes in thought. Letting all eleven of his grandchildren run wild with the Meeseeks box (plus his son and Rita if they ever caught wind of it) would probably be a disastrous idea. Maybe too disastrous for him to deal with. "Yeah, on second thought, this is all you're getting today."

"Aww." Lincoln and Leni both moaned.

"Why not?" Lincoln asked.

"T-There's no way I'm trusting all of you to be reasonable with this thing. In fact, just to safe, I'm taking this with me on your adventure Lincoln."

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Is there anything I can do?" Mr. Meeseeks asked, reminding everyone he was there.

"Oh, hey Mr. Meeseeks." Lincoln greeted. "Listen, can you help my sister, Leni, get her driving license?"

"Ooh, yeah! Can do!" Mr. Meeseeks replied.

"If you need help, I have a game called Total Turbo XXII. Try using that to help her."

"Yes sir!" Mr. Meeseeks replied again as he and Leni walked out the garage.

"So are you ready to go or what?" Rick asked impatiently.

"Guess now's a good a time as any." Lincoln decided.

"Not so fast!" A voice stopped them. Lincoln and Rick looked to see Lola standing in the garage, glaring at them.

"Lola? How long have you been standing there?" Lincoln asked.

"Doesn't matter." Lola replied. "Do you even remember what I asked you earlier today?"

"Uhh..." Lincoln stammered as he thought back to earlier that day.

...

Lincoln remembered Lola coming into her room to talk to him while he was reading comics in his underwear but he didn't know what she was talking about. He had recently bought a pair of 'Noise-B-Gone 2000' earbuds as he was sick of trying to read with all the noise that went on in the house from everyone's activities. The earbuds completely blocked out any noise so Lincoln could only guess what Lola was saying to him.

"Lincoln, is this too much mascara?" Lola asked when she came into the room. "Be honest. It's super, super, super important!"

"Aah. I couldn't agree more!" Lincoln replied, still reading his comic.

Lola gave Lincoln a look of confusion. "Agree with what?"

"Right back at ya!" Lincoln said, still not paying her attention.

"Ok, you're weird." Lola remarked, getting annoyed with her brother's odd behaviour. She then noticed the Noise-B-Gone package in Lincoln's wastebasket. Realising what was happening, she then glared at Lincoln. "So, Lincoln, are you the biggest dork in the world?"

"You can say that again!" Lincoln replied.

"And do you love the taste of dog poop?" Lola asked.

"You know it!"

Lola smirked at Lincoln's reply. She then left the room to plan out how to bring some payback to him.

...

Back in the present, Rick gave Lincoln an odd look. "W-Why do you read comics in your underwear? I dunno, that sounds kinda weird Lincoln."

Lincoln shrugged. "Meh."

Lola then held up the earbuds that Lincoln was using. "So you wanted to block everyone out huh?"

Lincoln then noticed what Lola was holding before getting angry at her. "Huh? What are you doing with those? Give them back!"

"Why? So you could just ignore your sisters again?" Lola asked, just as angry as Lincoln was. "Well fine. But on one condition."

Lincoln groaned before hearing her out. "Ok, what?"

"I heard about your deal with Grandpa Rick." Lola explained. "I'll give these back to you if I get to lead the adventure instead."

"Seriously?" Lincoln asked in disbelief. Lola curtly nodded in response. Lincoln groaned. "Ugh fine. Deal."

Lola handed Lincoln back his ear buds while Lincoln then gave Lola Rick's portal gun which she then started to fiddle with.

"Wow Lincoln, adventure's not even started yet and it's already gone off the rails." Rick commented. "Also, you know that deal counts for her now too right?"

Lincoln crossed his arms and frowned in response. Lola put in some random coordinates into the portal device. The Loud siblings only had a basic idea of how the portal gun worked as Rick had only taught them how to use it to get back to Earth. Lola then managed to activate the portal. "Ladies first!" Lola shouted as she jumped straight in.

"Hey, Lola, wait!" Lincoln called out as he and Rick followed Lola into the portal. The two then emerged in the middle of a busy crowd. They both then tried to look for Lola past the townsfolk walking around. "Lola, where are you?" Lincoln called out.

"Oh great, w-we lost her." Rick remarked before folding his arms.

Lincoln then looked around at his surroundings. The place seemed kinda medieval judging by the villagers and the buildings. He could see a large castle not too far from the village. This was another place where other planets were visible in this world's pinkish sky. Lincoln then stopped one of the villagers to talk to them. "Excuse me, we're not exactly from around here, could you tell us where we are?"

The villager then took a good look at Lincoln and Rick. "You're not from this dimension are you?"

"Umm, no." Lincoln replied, surprised that the villager would ask that. "Why'd you ask."

"Just wondering. Welcome to Mewni."

...

Back at the Loud House, Mr. Meeseeks had done as Lincoln said and set the game up for Leni.

"So what exactly are you seeking?" Leni asked.

"Huh?" Mr. Meeseeks looked at Leni in confusion.

"Well you said your name is Me Seeks. So what are you seeking?" Leni repeated.

Mr. Meeseeks went back to smiling. "That's just my name, I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" Mr. Meeseeks then handed Leni a steering wheel controller.

"Wow! It's just like a real spinny thingy!" Leni remarked.

"It's called a steering wheel, Leni." Mr. Meeseeks explained. "Are you ready to get started?"

"WAIT!" Leni stopped him. "I need my special driving outfit!"

"Ohh ok, that's fine." Mr. Meeseeks said as Leni ran up the stairs to get changed. When she came back down in her green driver outfit, she struck a couple poses. "Wow, you sure look fantastic Leni." Mr. Meeseeks complimented. "Now are you ready to get star-" before Mr. Meeseeks could finish, Leni interrupted again.

"WAIT! I need my special driving smoothie!" Leni then ran off to the kitchen and then came back with a drink. "It's a soy pumpkin cookie crumble cream. It's seasonal!"

"Ooh, that sure sounds fancy. So can we go back to-"

Once again, Mr. Meeseeks was interrupted by Leni. "WAIT!"

"Ooh, what now?" Mr. Meeseeks asked as he started to lose his smile.

"Aren't you gonna open the door for me?" Leni asked as she took another sip from her smoothie.

"C-can do!" Mr. Meeseeks replied as he tried to stay enthusiastic. He then sat down on the sofa and pretended to open a car door with the cushion. "Click! Creak!"

"What a gentleman." Leni remarked as she sat down. The game then started up as an image of a car on a street appeared on the screen.

"Ok Leni, all you have to do is keep the wheel straight and stay on the-" Leni then immediately crashed into a building before Mr. Meeseeks could finish.

"Like that?" Leni asked.

"No but that's ok. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me! Just give it another go." Mr. Meeseeks told her.

"Ok." Leni replied. She then stared at Mr. Meeseeks as she once again crashed into a wall.

"Ooh not quite Leni. You gotta keep your eyes on the road." Mr. Meeseeks advised.

"But you told me to look at you. So I did." Leni explained.

"Uhh..." Mr. Meeseeks gawked at her as his eye started to twitch. He then shook his head to snap himself out of it. "It's ok Leni, you just gotta stay on the road."

Leni then tossed her controller in frustration. "But, what's the point? We're not going anywhere fun!"

"Sure we are!" Mr. Meeseeks lied. "We're going to, uh...the mall!"

Leni gasped as she picked the controller back up. "Why didn't you say so?" She then played the game perfectly this time, staying on the road and not crashing into any cars.

"Ooh, that was really good Leni." Mr. Meeseeks complimented.

"Outta my way, granny!" Leni yelled at an NPC.

"Ooh, easy there Leni." Mr. Meeseeks said as he took away her controller.

"BUT I HAVE TO GET TO THE MALL!" Leni shouted at him.

Mr. Meeseeks tried to calm her down. "Easy! Look at me! I'm Mr. Meeseeks. You got a driving test to pass, remember?"

Leni calmed down and then grinned as she got up and made her way out the door to take the driving test once again.

"Woo, you go girl!" Mr. Meeseeks called after her.

...

Lola walked through the streets, trying to find Lincoln and Rick. "Where am I?" Lola asked herself. "Wah!" She and some of the other villagers then jumped out of the way as a unicorn being rode by a teenage girl in a blue dress came running by. As she jumped, Lola accidentally dropped Rick's portal device, breaking it. "Oops. Dang it." Lola then turned to a villager to ask about the one responsible for breaking the device. "Hey who was that?"

"What have you been living under a rock all your life? That's Princess Star Butterfly!"

"P-P-Princess?" Lola stammered before running after the unicorn. "Oh my gosh! A princess! I'm gonna meet a real life princess! Eeeeeee!"

...

Meanwhile, Rick and Lincoln were walking aimlessly around the village. Both had deep frowns on their faces. "Well, looks like once again, I'm stuck doing what someone else wants to do instead of what I want to do. Just great." Lincoln stated bitterly.

"Yep. Looks like neither of us are having a good time now." Rick remarked before taking a sip from his flask.

Lincoln then decided to look at the positives. At least Lola didn't send them any where dangerous or horrifying. "I guess this place isn't so bad though. Kinda reminds of a village from a fantasy-type story." Lincoln thought out loud.

"Sounds pretty boring Lincoln." Rick countered. He then realised something as he reached into his pockets. "Wait, where's the Meeseeks box?"

"Huh?" Lincoln asked.

"My Meeseeks box, Lincoln!" Rick grabbed Lincoln's shoulders. "Someone must have pickpocketed it Lincoln!"

Meanwhile, in a grim looking castle, a portal opened up with a large, humanoid, frog monster wearing a dark green tunic stepping out of it. He faced another monster sitting on a throne, saluting him. "Ludo, master, I saw some some humans from the Earth dimension arrive in Mewni." The frog monster explained before holding up the Meeseeks box. "I managed to steal this strange box from them."

Ludo was a short, grayish-green bird-like monster. He had a round head with some bumps and warts on it, yellow eyes, and a dark gray beak with sharp white fangs. He wore mossy green cloak and an unidentified creature's skull on his head like a crown. He was sitting on a stack of pillows on the throne to make himself look taller. There were two other monsters standing guard beside Ludo's throne. Ludo eyed the device in curiosity. "So what does it do, Buff Frog?" Ludo asked.

Buff Frog scratched the back of his head before handing the box to Ludo. "I am not so sure myself." Buff Frog admitted.

Ludo fiddled with the device until he accidentally pressed the button, spawning a Mr. Meeseeks, making him jump. "Wah!"

"Hi! I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!"

Ludo cowered back as he pointed his staff at him. "W-W-What are you?" Ludo stammered.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks!" Mr. Meeseeks answered. "I'll do anything you want!"

"A-Anything?" Ludo asked as he started to lower his staff, raising his eyebrow at the creature.

"That's right! Look at me! I'm Mr. Meeseeks!"

"Hmm." Ludo thought to himself before smirking. He pressed the button again, spawning another Meeseeks.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!"

Ludo then giggled. "Oh, I think I know how to get that wand!"

...

Back at the Loud house, Mr. Meeseeks sat patiently as he waited for Leni. After hearing someone knocking, he got up to answer it, seeing Leni and a police officer at the door. "Hi, I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me!" Mr. Meeseeks greeted the officer before turning to Leni. "So, did you pass?"

The officer raised an eyebrow at Mr. Meeseeks before answering. "No, she did not! She did, however, refuse to obey the speed limit, fail to use her turn signals, and she redirected the test vehicle toward the mall, where she proceeded to hip-check and tackle Mrs. Jelinsky!"

"Ohh..." Mr. Meeseeks moaned.

"It's not fair! When I did all that in the game, I won! You guys need to get your rules straight!" Leni complained before she headed upstairs.

Lori then came by as she has heard the commotion. She looked at Mr. Meeseeks. "Um, what are you supposed to be?"

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks, look at me." Mr. Meeseeks said less enthusiastically than usual.

Lori rolled her eyes, quickly realising this was probably something to do with Rick. "Look if you're trying to teach Leni to drive, don't bother. She can't even drive a lawnmower."

"Ooh, it doesn't quite work that way, miss." Mr. Meeseeks explained, smiling nervously.

"Whatever." Lori said before walking off.

...

Star Butterfly giggled to herself as she walked through the castle holding her newly acquired wand. The cheerful princess had long blonde hair and pink hearts on her cheeks. Star then heard a gasp and then looked down to see a little girl staring at her in awe.

"Oh my gosh! You're a real princess!" Lola squealed.

"Aww, so cute." Star gushed at her. "Are you a princess too?"

"Um...yeah. I'm Princess Lola from...the kingdom of...Royal Woods!" Lola stammered, hoping the princess would buy the lie.

"Ooh Royal Woods...I don't think I've heard of that kingdom before. Hey where's your parents?" Star asked.

"Uh, I came here by myself." Lola fibbed.

"Really?" Star raised an eyebrow. "But how did you get in here?"

Lola looked away, smirking. "Oh, I have my ways." Lola said mysteriously. Lola then noticed what Star was holding. "Hey what's that?"

"Oh this? This is my wand. I just got it for my birthday." Star grinned as she started to giggle.

Lola gasped in amazement. "You can do magic? You HAVE to show me!"

"Well, I did only just get the wand today buuuuut, eh sure, why not?" Star shrugged.

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Rick were still trying to look for Lola. While Rick was still grouchy, Lincoln had brightened up a bit after looking at the positives of the situation. "Great. No portal. No Meeseeks box. Lola's gone. This is turning into a real shitshow, Lincoln."

"Didn't you say the world was a crazy and chaotic place? I thought you were expecting things to go wrong somehow." Lincoln argued.

"No, I knew things would go wrong because that's what would happen when I'm not in charge. You understand, L-Lincoln?" Rick countered.

Lincoln raised an eyebrow as he eyed Rick suspiciously. His arguments didn't seem that consistent to what he was arguing earlier. "Is there some other reason you didn't want us to take charge on an adventure?"

"I don't want you in charge because none of you know what you're doing." Rick claimed as he turned to Lincoln. "I've been all over the multiverse, Lincoln. I always know what I'm doing and I always know what to expect."

Rick turned back around, only to come face to face with a blue, floating unicorn head. "Yo wassup I ain't never seen you guys here before."

...

Mr. Meeseeks opened the door to Lori and Leni's room to see Leni working on literally making a bed for Lori. "Hi, I'm Mr. Meeseeks, what are you doing?"

"Going back to making Lori's bed." Leni replied, looking sullen.

"Ooh, that's real nice craftsmanship." Mr. Meeseeks complimented, admiring Leni's work. He then started to look nervous. "But when are we gonna go back to learning to drive?"

"Maybe I'm just not meant to be behind the spinny thingy. You know? Besides, doesn't that mean you get to, like, live forever?" Leni asked.

"No! That's terrible!" Mr. Meeseeks suddenly screeched.

Leni jumped slightly. "What? Why?"

"It doesn't work that way. I'm Mr. Meeseeks. I have to fulfill my purpose so I can go away. The longer we live, the more painful it is to exist!" Mr. Meeseeks explained.

Leni gasped. "Oh my gosh! I didn't know! I'm so sorry for sucking at driving so much.

"No Leni, I'm the one who SUCKS!" Mr. Meeseeks screeched that last past out as he grabbed his head.

Leni got up with a look of determination on her face. "You're right Mr. Meeseeks, I can't give up now. If not for me, then at least for you."

"Aww thanks Leni." Mr. Meeseeks thanked her, genuinely touched. "So you wanna try the traditional approach?" Mr. Meeseeks asked, holding up a driving instructional manual.

"Sure. Also, I think I might have an idea of who could help us." Leni said.

...

"So did you two come from another dimension or something? Cause I know nobody here dresses like that. Also how'd your hair get all spiky like that? You using some kinda hair gel or something? 'Cause you are like, the only old person I know who uses hair gel, you know what I'm saying?" As the flying princess pony head went on and on, following behind them, Rick had a deep scowl on his face. Through out all the years he had been alive, he had been to many planets and dimensions and met countless people and creatures. This one by far was the most annoying one he had ever met. He'd decided he finally had enough.

"All right, great, wonderful." Rick interrupted her. "If you haven't seen a little girl in a pink dress, I really don't care. Get lost."

Flying Princess Pony Head gave Rick a miffed look. "Wow! So rude! I'm just like trying to talk is all but if you wanna be all like grrr then fine, whatever, Pony Head out!"

Rick sighed in relief as the floating head went away. However, he then groaned as he stumbled upon something on the floor. "Oh come on Lola, really?" Rick asked as he picked up the broken portal device.

"Um, is that gonna be a problem?" Lincoln asked.

"Look we've dealt with this situation before, there'll be someway to get out of this dimension." Rick tried to reassure him before grumbling to himself. "I swear to God Lola, when I see you I'm gonna-"

...

Lola screamed. For Star's first trick with the magic wand, she had somehow set her own room on fire.

"D-don't worry, I can fix this." Star reassured the panicking Lola as she got ready to cast another spell. "Uhh...cotton candy fire extinguish!" The room then flooded with cotton candy, putting the fire out.

Despite the room now being filled with cotton candy, Lola couldn't help but think that this wasn't as enchanting as she hoped it would be.

...

Leni had gathered all her sisters sans Lori into the living room to explain her situation with Mr. Meeseeks.

"So let me get this straight, your whole purpose is to do your job and then die and the longer you stay alive, the more it hurts to exist?" Lucy asked Mr. Meeseeks.

"That's right! I'm Mr. Meeseeks!" Mr. Meeseeks answered.

"Leni, can I borrow him? I could really use a muse." Lucy asked.

"Ooh sorry Lucy but Meeseeks are only meant for one task each." Mr. Meeseeks explained apologetically.

"Yeah also, Grandpa Rick took the Meeseeks thingy with him on an adventure." Leni pointed out.

"Sigh."

"Alright everyone," Mr. Meeseeks announced. "I have an idea! Everybody help me set up some stuff like a real car!" Everyone grabbed some furniture and set it up at the chair Leni was sat on almost like a real car. "Alright Leni, look at me! Listen carefully!" Mr. Meeseeks then pointed to each piece of furniture to explain what they represent. "The base drum's the brakes, the whoopee cushion's the accelerator, the golf club's the steering wheel, the horn is the car horn, the ladle is the turn signal" he then noticed Lily playing with fake toy keys before he picked them up. "And these keys are the keys! Did you get all that?"

Leni squinted at the keys Mr. Meeseeks just gave her before answering. "S-sure."

"Are you sure?" Mr. Meeseeks asked.

"I'm sure. Don't worry, I am like, super determined to get this right." Leni tried to reassure him.

"Ok, first ya gotta put on the seatbelts." Lana then came up to both of them with some beauty pageant sashes that she had 'borrowed' from Lola's wardrobe.

"That was easy." Leni remarked.

"Now you gotta check your mirrors." Mr. Meeseeks explained.

Leni then started to panic. "Why? Do I look bad?"

Mr. Meeseeks tried to reassure her. "Ooh, no way Leni, I just meant-"

Before he could finish, Leni suddenly ran off. "Stop the car! I can't drive in this hideous condition!" Everyone, including Mr. Meeseeks, groaned.

When she came back, she was wearing a driving helmet. "That's better."

"Ok, now here's a lesson about avoiding road hazards." Mr. Meeseeks started as Lily then walked in front of Leni wearing a squirrel outfit while trying to imitate one. "Uh oh, there's a squirrel on the road! What do you do?"

Leni screamed before running off upstairs causing everyone to groan again. Mr. Meeseeks and the Loud siblings were at it for ages trying to teach Leni how to drive but nothing seemed to click for her. Mr. Meeseeks was starting to look disheveled and exhausted while everyone else just looked tired.

"I'm sorry Mr. Meeseeks. I'm trying real hard but I guess I'm just too dumb." Leni stated as she looked down in shame.

Mr. Meeseeks still tried to be enthusiastic though his voice was starting to crack. "No, no it's ok, I'm Mr. Meeseeks! I'll just explain it again! See, the ladle is the turn signal."

"Oh! You mean the blinky blink?" Leni asked, starting to realise what it was.

Mr. Meeseeks looked discombobulated. "The wha?"

"Yeah. It's right by the spinny thingy." Leni said, pointing to the wreath.

Luna then perked up as she came to a realisation. "Dude, I know what you gotta do! You just have to speak Leni!"

Both Mr. Meeseeks and Leni looked at her, confused. "There's a country named after me?" Leni asked.

Luna shook her head. "No I mean you gotta use words that Leni understands! You know what I mean Meeseeks dude?"

Mr. Meeseeks thought about it for a second before realising what she meant. "Ohhh I get you." He then turned to Leni. "Leni, use the blinky blink." Leni knew exactly what he was talking about and flipped the ladle. "Alright now try turning to your good side!" Leni tilted the wreath to left. Mr. Meeseeks got some of his enthusiasm back. "Yeah! Now you're getting it! Hang on a moment." He then got up and brought back a white high heeled shoe and a green boot. He then pointed to the shoe. "This is the break pedal. Do you know what it does?" Leni was silent as she didn't know the answer. "White shoes after Labor Day!" Mr. Meeseeks clued her in.

Leni looked disgusted. "Ew, stop!"

"That's right!" Mr. Meeseeks then pointed to the green boot. "This is the gas pedal. You know what that does?" Leni was silent again. "Boots from the 60's." Mr. Meeseeks clued her in again.

"Go-Go!" Leni said in realisation.

"Yeah! Now we just need to put it into practice!" Mr. Meeseeks was ecstatic as it finally seemed like the task would soon be finished.

...

Lincoln and Rick had spent all day searching for Lola. Only a couple of villagers seemed to have seen her but nobody knew where she had gone. Lincoln then noticed the sun starting to set. "It's getting kinda late. Maybe Lola's gone to an inn?"

Rick gave a neutral grunt in response. The two then made their way to an inn. Unfortunately, the innkeeper knew nothing about any little girl in a pink dress coming in. The two entered their rooms though due to how poor the inn was, they had an empty room with only one window and two straw beds. "Well, I've slept in worse conditions than this." Rick remarked before walking over to look out the window.

Lincoln decided now was as good a time as any to bring up the earlier argument. "All right Grandpa Rick, spill it. Why actually are you against us leading an adventure?"

"I already told you Lincoln. None of you know what you're doing out there. I do!" Rick argued.

"Yeah, I don't buy it. There's some other reason isn't there." Lincoln pressed on.

Rick groaned. "All right fine. You see Lincoln, I don't respect authority. I don't like being told what to do or when to do it. I like to do things my way. You understand now L-Lincoln?"

Lincoln stared at Rick, thinking about his answer. "But that doesn't mean you can't just hear us out. I mean we're doing alright so far, right?"

Rick frowned at Lincoln. "I'm the smartest man in the universe Lincoln. I don't need to hear anyone out. B-besides who are you to talk? Y-You got those earbuds so you could block everyone out. I mean I get that it can get too noisy but you don't see me ignoring people trying to talk to me do you?"

Lincoln rubbed his arm. He had to admit that Rick had a point. He decided to then turn in for the night as he thought about the conversation he just had.

...

Meanwhile Star looked out of her window. "Geez, it's getting kinda dark. Shouldn't you be getting home?"

"Um, why don't I just stay here for the night?" Lola asked.

Star then gasped. "Princess sleepover!"

She quickly closed the curtains, got changed into her pyjamas and got out two pillows for her and Lola to sit on. As she did this, Lola thought to herself if Star would get along well with Leni with how much Star reminded her of her sister.

"All right where should we start? Uhhh gossip! Got anything you wanna talk about?" Star grinned at Lola.

Lola rolled her eyes as she started to frown. "Oh boy, do I. I have this stupid brother that bought these stupid earbuds-"

"Earbuds?" Star asked, interrupting her.

"Uh, they're these things that you put in your ears to block out sound. I tried to talk to him when he was wearing them but he just ignored me!" Lola explained.

Star then started to frown. "Yeah, I know what that's like. When your family members ignore you. So why'd he buy them?"

Lola scoffed. "Pfft. I dunno. Guess he just wanted to ignore all of us."

"All?" Star asked curiously.

"Oh, yeah me and my other nine sisters." Lola explained.

"Nine sisters?!" Star asked in disbelief. "Geez, I can't imagine what living like that would be like. I don't even have one."

Lola scratched the back of her head as she slowly started to realise why Lincoln would buy those earbuds. "Yeah, it does get kinda...noisy." Now that she thought about it, Lincoln hadn't exactly gotten much time to himself lately. She started to feel a little guilty for hijacking his adventure.

...

The sun was starting to set on Earth as well. The sisters and Mr. Meeseeks had gathered in the backyard as Leni sat on a lawnmower. "Remember what we practised Leni!" Mr. Meeseeks called out.

"Go-Go boot!" Leni called out as the lawnmower started to move forward. A squirrel then ran in front of the lawnmower. "White shoe!" Leni called out again as she stopped the lawnmower. Once it got out the way, Leni breathed a sigh of relief. "Go-Go boot!" As she started to head towards the hedge, her sisters started to get worried.

"Whoa! Watch out!" Lynn tried to warn her.

"Good side!" Leni turned left, avoiding the hedge. The rest of the siblings cheered for her as she started to drive around without a problem. "I'm doing it!"

"Good job Leni, looks like you're ready to get your driving license!" Mr. Meeseeks exclaimed, relieved it would be ending soon.

Leni stopped the lawnmower and got off. "Yeah! I promise that's the first thing I'm gonna do tomorrow morning."

Mr. Meeseeks suddenly had a look of distraught on his face. "T-tomorrow?!"

Leni started to look guilty. "Yeah...the DMV would be closed by now. I can't get my license until tomorrow. I'm sorry."

Mr. Meeseeks let out a loud groan in response. Leni tried to confort him and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Like, I don't know how much this means to you but I really appreciate all the help you've given me. I never would've been able to figure this all out by myself. So, thank you." Leni smiled at him.

Despite the growing pain, Mr. Meeseeks took some comfort from Leni's words. "Aww, I'm just doing my job. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!"

Meanwhile, no one seemed to realise that Lori was watching the whole event from her room. Lori frowned as she suddenly felt overwhelmed by a feeling of jealousy. So just because she wanted a bit of compensation for doing them a favour, they'd abandon her for Leni? "I'm not giving up the car keys that easily." Lori muttered to herself.

...

Later on at night, Leni was getting herself comfortable in bed before she turned to Lori. "Night, Lori!" Lori seemed to already be asleep making a loud snoring noise. Leni shrugged, put on her sleeping mask then tried to reach for the lamp to turn it off, though she couldn't quite find it.

"Click."

"Got it!" Leni said before she went to sleep. However, Lori was only pretending to sleep. As soon as she saw Leni fall asleep, she creeped over to her bed and placed a pair of headphones that played a tape that Lori recorded on her head.

"Never check your mirrors. Always comment on your driving instructor's weight. In America, we drive on the left side of the road."

Lori smirked as she went to go back to sleep. While a part of her felt guilty for doing this, another part of her didn't want her younger siblings to feel like they didn't need her. She ultimately decided this would be for the best.

...

The next morning, Luna paced around, curious about how Leni's test was going when she then noticed Lori walking down the stairs with a basket of clothes. "Ah! There you are! Don't you need a ride to the record store? And lavender sheets. Don't forget." Lori sang cheerfully as she handed Luna the basket.

Luna passed the basket back to Lori. "Nah, I'm good, dude. I think I'll wait for Leni to get back from taking her driving test, with her new license."

Lori scoffed. "Pssht. She's not gonna pass. Now, get to washing." She passed the basket back to Luna.

"Actually dude, I'm pretty sure she will pass." Luna passed the basket back to Lori.

"No she won't. Because I made sure of it." Lori claimed.

Luna looked at Lori in shock. "Say what now?"

Lori realised she slipped up. "Nothing!"

"Oh, no you don't!" Luna then grabbed a sweater from Lori's basket. "Dang it Lori, I will shrink your favorite Bobby sweater in the dryer if you don't tell me what you-"

"STOP! FINE!" Lori shouted, interrupting her. She grabbed the sweater back and put it on, hugging herself. "I might have sabotaged Leni by giving her bad driving instructions while she slept, but it's just because if Leni can drive, my room will never be clean and no one will ever need me for anything ever again!" Lori confessed with tears welling in her eyes and her voice going up in pitch.

"YOU WHAT?!" Mr. Meeseeks screeched as he had overheard the argument. He had a look of absolute fury on his face as he stomped up to Lori and grabbed the front of her sweater. "Do you realise what you've done?!"

Lori fearfully looked at Mr. Meeseeks. Her eyes were still welling with tears. "I-I-I d-don't know I-I-"

Luna then got in between them, seperating them. "Chill out dudes!" She then turned to Lori. "Lori, are you crazy?! What if your bad driving instructions make Leni crash? What if she gets herself hurt?"

Lori looked down, ashamed of herself. "I didn't think of that..."

Luna groaned as she facepalmed. "Come on, we gotta get to the DMV!"

Lori, Luna and Mr. Meeseeks then ran out and got into the van. Luna sat in the front with Lori while Mr. Meeseeks sat behind Lori, arms folded, glaring at the back of her head. As they set off, Lori decided to ask about the weird blue man sat behind her. "So, could you explain what this guy's deal is?"

"Oh, him! Right..." Luna then explained what Mr. Meeseeks was and the situation they had with him.

Once Luna was finished, Lori started to feel more guilty. "That's terrible! Is there nothing we can do to help him?"

Luna shook her head. "Only thing we can do is hope Leni managed to pass anyway."

The three then arrived at the DMV. They got out the van just as Leni exited the building. Lori sighed in relief. "Oh, thank goodness, she's okay."

"Did you pass the test Leni?" Luna asked, hopeful.

Suddenly, the same police officer from yesterday then stepped outside with a displeased look on his face. "No, she did not! She did, however, drive on the wrong side of the road, neglected to check her mirrors and commented on the driving instructor's weight!"

At that, Mr. Meeseeks suddenly shrieked in anger. He had finally snapped as he ran towards the police officer. The cop was caught off guard by the weird blue man, giving Mr. Meeseeks the opportunity to steal his gun from him. "Get back!" Mr. Meeseeks shouted. Everyone put their hands in the air to avoid getting shot.

"Mr. Meeseeks! What are you doing?" Leni asked, shocked at Mr. Meeseeks' behaviour.

"Everyone get back!" Mr. Meeseeks shouted again as he slowly walked inside the DMV. Lori cringed at herself, knowing that this disaster was her own fault.

...

After a rough night, Lincoln and Rick were awoken by a low rumbling sound. "Huh? Whassat?" Rick asked, still feeling groggy.

"Is this an earthquake?" Lincoln asked. The two then walked out of the inn to see what was wrong. They then noticed some kind of stampede in the distance. Rick walked towards the stampede to get a closer look. He then started to recognise what it was. "Is that Mr. Meeseeks?!" Rick asked in disbelief.

Indeed, it seemed like an army of angry Mr. Meeseeks were running towards the village. Preparing for the worst, Rick got out a laser gun and handed another one off to Lincoln. "I don't think they're here to be helpful Lincoln." Rick told him. As soon as the Meeseeks army got close to the village, Rick and Lincoln started firing at them. While they couldn't kill them, they were able to temporarily injure them. One Meeseeks managed to get close enough to the two of them that Rick managed to grab him in order to interrogate him. "Alright, what are you Meeseeks trying to do?"

"We were all ordered to take the wand from Star Butterfly! I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!" Mr. Meeseeks answered cheerfully before Rick then blasted him. As he went back to firing at the Meeseeks, he tried to plan a way to stop them.

"How are we going to stop them? There's too many!" Lincoln asked.

"I'm thinking of it Lincoln!" Rick told him.

It looked like a group of Meeseeks were about to surround them when Lincoln and Rick then heard a voice.

"Narwhal blast!" The Meeseeks were then suddenly knocked over by a bunch of narwhals. Lincoln and Rick looked over to see that a teenage girl dressed like a princess was the one that cast the spell. They also noticed Lola holding on to her shoulders. "Rainbow fist punch!" Star shouted. The wand she was carrying then casted a rainbow which formed into a fist, punching away some of the Meeseeks. She then ran up to Rick and Lincoln. "Oh hey, what's up?"

Lola then got off her back. She was then then caught off guard as Lincoln then ran up to hug her. "Lola! Oh thank goodness, I was so worried!"

Star looked in confusion at Lincoln and Rick before turning to Lola. "Wait, I thought you said you guys were royalty?"

Lola laughed nervously. "Well you see...the thing about that is-"

Lola was interrupted as Rick handed her a laser gun. "Save the chit chat for later. We got some Meeseeks to blast!" Lola then put on a devilish grin as she fired at the Meeseeks along with Rick and Lincoln while Star fired spells at them, throwing in some punches and kicks every now and then.

As they were firing, Lincoln walked up to Star. "So, who are you again?"

"Princess Star Butterfly." Star answered as she focused on firing spells at the Meeseeks. "What about you two?"

"Oh, I'm Lincoln Loud." Lincoln answered.

"Rick Sanchez." Rick curtly replied.

As he kept firing at them, Rick eventually separated from the rest of the group. To his surprise, he found that he was actually enjoying himself. "Yeah, take that!" Rick shouted before he accidentally tripped over a bush. "Whoa!"

As he got back up, he realised he hadn't tripped over a bush, but an odd frog man hiding behind a bush, who just happened to be holding the Meeseeks box. Buff Frog groaned from having someone fall on top of him before he noticed Rick glaring at him, making him laugh nervously. "Uhh he he..."

Rick pointed his gun at Buff Frog while doing a 'give it here' motion with his hands. Buff Frog nervously gave Rick the Meeseeks box then put his hands in the air to surrender. Rick debated shooting him anyway until he then noticed a giant rainbow suddenly appearing over the village. The rainbow was somehow on fire. "What the hell..." The distraction gave Buff Frog enough time to retreat. Rick then decided to reunite with the others.

"What are these guys? How do we stop them?" Star asked Lincoln in the midst of the battle.

Lincoln tried to answer as simply as possible. "They're Meeseeks. They can't die until they fulfill their purpose. Which is apparently to steal your wand."

Star thought to herself before she got an idea. "Ooh, I know. Keep holding them off, I'll be back in a minute." Star then ran back towards the castle, leaving Lincoln and Lola to keep blasting at the Meeseeks.

...

The situation at the DMV had gotten worse as Mr. Meeseeks now held the gun at the driving instructor's head. "Meeseeks are not born into this world fumbling for meaning! We are created to serve a singular purpose for which we will go to any lengths to fulfill! My purpose is to get Leni her driving license. So maybe you should start making it!"

The driving instructor mumbled in fear. Leni, Lori, Luna and the cop looked on, unsure of what they should do. The cop was about to call for backup before Leni stopped him. "No wait, stop. He doesn't want to hurt anyone! All he wants is to die!"

"Huh?" The cop looked at Leni in confusion.

Leni then turned to her sisters. "Guys, what happened?"

"I'm sorry Leni." Lori sobbed. "It was my fault! I sabotaged your test."

Leni looked at Lori confused. "Sabo...tage?"

"It's like she went and bought the dress she knew you wanted." Luna explained.

Leni gasped. "HOW COULD YOU?!"

"I'm so sorry!" Lori apologised. "I just didn't want to feel unneeded since I knew you'd just let everyone have a ride for free."

"Lori..." Leni sighed in disappointment before putting on a look of determination. "Well, I know someone who needs me." Leni then fearlessly walked up to Mr. Meeseeks to try and talk to him. "Mr. Meeseeks, please stop! I know I haven't exactly been easy to teach. I know I've been kind of a screw up. But please give me one more chance to do this the right way. I know I can do this if I focus on it harder than anything. Just please put the gun down and give me one last chance to prove myself and get my license the right way." Leni clasped her hands together and gave Mr. Meeseeks a pleading look.

Mr. Meeseeks stared back at Leni, breathing heavily. Despite the agonizing pain he was going through, to his surprise, he found that upsetting Leni was almost just as painful. Mr. Meeseeks slowly lowered the gun as his anger started to fade. "Ok."

Leni smiled in gratitude. "Thank you." She then turned to the driving instructor. "Please, you have to give me another chance. I know I can pass this.

Still feeling shaken up from the gun aimed at his head, the driving instructor nervously nodded his head as he felt like he didn't really have a choice.

...

Leni was soon in the car with the driving instructor while Lori, Luna, Mr. Meeseeks and the police officer watched from the sidelines. Once the test started, Leni focused on what she was doing harder than she ever had. So much so that it started to give her a headache. She remembered everything Mr. Meeseeks had taught her yesterday and made sure not to make a single mistake, concentrating on both the road and her surroundings. Once the test was over, Leni turned to the driving instructor. "So how did I do?"

The driving instructor had just finished writing something before he turned to Leni with a relieved smile. "You passed!"

Leni squealed as she got out the car to tell everyone the good news. "Guys, I did it! I got my drivers license!"

Lori and Luna cheered as they ran up to hug Leni. Once they were finished, Leni turned to Mr. Meeseeks. "Mr. Meeseeks, I did it!"

Mr. Meeseeks now had his enthusiasm back. "Ooh you sure did Leni! Congratulations!"

"You know Mr. Meeseeks, I'm really gonna miss you..." Leni admitted.

"Yeah, me too." Mr. Meeseeks then also admitted. Leni then gave Mr. Meeseeks a hug before he finally disappeared.

Despite knowing that this was coming, Leni still felt saddened at Mr. Meeseeks going away. "Ohh..."

Lori then put her hand on Leni's shoulder and gave her a comforting look. "Come on Leni, let's go home. I'll let you drive if you want?"

"Eh, not yet you won't." The police officer interrupted. "You girls have so many questions to answer."

Lori shrugged. "Fair enough."

...

Rick, Lincoln and Lola were still blasting at the Meeseeks. Suddenly, a loud whistle could be heard making everyone stop.

"Hey Meeseeks!" Star called out before holding out her wand. "Is this what you're after?"

The Meeseeks army then all focused on her as she ran towards the outskirts of the village. She then stopped and then watched the army of Meeseeks run after her, waiting for the right opportunity. Once it came, she got out a pair of scissors and then used them to open up a portal to another dimension. The Meeseeks were unable to stop themselves as they all fell into the portal, tumbling and tripping over themselves. Once the last one fell through, Star quickly closed the portal. "Job well done." She then looked back towards the village. The villagers were screaming in fear while the rainbow that was on fire was still hanging over them. Star turned away, looked down at her wand and cringed at herself.

Lincoln, Lola and Rick then ran up to her. "That was amazing!" Lincoln praised her. "You can open portals to other dimensions?"

"Huh? Oh yeah, these are actually my parents' scissors." Star explained. "But yeah, these things can get you anywhere in the universe."

"Do you think you could open a portal back to Earth? We're kinda stuck here." Lincoln asked her.

"Sure!" Star then used her dimensional scissors to open a portal. "I'd stick around to say goodbye but I really gotta get back to my parents." Star gave an apologetic smile as she pointed her thumb back towards the castle. She then ran off, waving at them. "See ya."

Lincoln and Lola waved after her. After she left, Lincoln turned to Lola with his hands on his hips and his eyebrow raised. "So, ran off to hang out with a princess huh?" Lola then laughed nervously.

The three went through the portal and arrived in Rick's garage. Lincoln then turned to Lola. "Lola, I've been thinking about what you said and I'm sorry for ignoring you. It was rude. I should've heard you out."

Lola shook her head. "Nah, it's ok. I understand. Even I think it gets way too noisy in this house sometimes. Sorry for hijacking your adventure and all."

"Yeah you will be sorry." Rick then added. "You'll be coming on the next adventure. You owe me for breaking my portal device, Lola."

Lola sighed. "Dang it."

Lincoln then gave Rick a smug look. "Hey Grandpa Rick, remember the deal? Neither of us bailed. So that means we win the bet and now we get to take charge of every third adventure." Rick grumbled in response before Lincoln continued. "Besides, you can't say you totally hated it. You looked like you were having fun shooting at those Meeseeks.

Rick sighed, not wanting to admit defeat. "Whatever."

The three then walked into the living room to see everyone sat around Leni. She then got up and turned to them excitedly. "Guys, look! I got my license." She held up her license and pointed to it.

Lincoln smiled at her. "Wow, you actually did it? Congrats Leni!"

Lola grinned. "So does this mean we don't have to do any chores for a ride any more?"

Lori sighed. "Yes. And for the record, you guys don't have to do any chores for me to get a ride either."

Everyone in the room besides Rick was surprised by that statement. "What?!"

Lori continued. "Yeah...see I felt that since I was doing you guys a favour, you should be doing a favour for me. But I don't want you guys to feel like I'm forcing you to do favours for me. If Leni can give you guys rides without getting anything in return, then I can too."

The siblings all thought about Lori's comment, wondering if it was selfish of them to ask for rides without anything in return. Lucy then spoke up. "You know, if you want, I can still write a poem for you whenever you give me a ride."

Lori smiled. "Thanks Lucy."

Rick frowned at the mushy display. "God, I feel like barfing."

Lincoln gave Rick an annoyed look. "Oh come on Grandpa Rick, can't you just be happy for Leni?"

"No I can't just be happy for Leni." Rick stated making everyone gasp. He then suddenly perked up. "Because I'm also proud of Leni! Wubba lubba dub dubs!" Everyone laughed in relief as Rick went on. "Yeah! That's my new thing! I'm kind of like what's his name Arsenio. Isn't that it's what Arsenio used to say on his show. Wobble gobba lop bops! Right?" Rick then turned to the audience. "See you next time, everybody. Yeah that's right, I see you too."


	6. L Is For Love Potion Part 1

It was the day before Valentines day.

Luna was practising playing guitar in the school's music room with her friend, Sam. Sam was a girl with blonde shoulder length hair with a teal streak in her bangs. She wore a short, teal leather jacket with a crimson patch bearing a white skull on the back, a white T-shirt, a pair of deep burgundy jeans ripped at the knees, a black belt with silver studs and a pair of dark purple boots. Luna was practising so she could be ready to perform on stage at the Valentines day dance.

Once Luna had finished, she wiped the sweat from her forehead and then smiled at Sam. "So how was that? You think I'm ready to perform tomorrow?"

Sam smiled back and gave her a thumbs up. "Awesome as ever Lunes! I know you'll do great." Sam complimented Luna, causing Luna to slightly blush which Sam didn't seem to notice.

"Heh, yeah. So uh, anyone ask you for a date to the dance?" Luna asked, trying to hide her nervousness.

Sam looked away, looking slightly shy. "Nah. I'm just going to see you perform. And to hang out I guess." Sam then suddenly grabbed a tissue from her pocket to sneeze into it. "Achoo!"

"Bless you. You doing alright there Sam?" Luna asked.

"I'm fine. I think there might just be a flu going around. Anyway, it's getting kinda late so I'll see ya tomorrow Lunes." Sam waved goodbye to Sam as she made her way out the room.

Luna waved back at her. "See ya." As soon as Sam left the room, Luna suddenly looked sullen as she looked downwards and sighed to herself.

...

Earlier that day, at lunchtime, Lincoln was sat with Clyde and a few other classmates in the lunch room, trying to get something out of his pants. To his disgust, he got out a sloppy joe with a note on it. "Eugh!" Despite becoming friends with Ronnie Anne, Lincoln had decided to relent on the pranks as long as they were harmless. Lincoln didn't mind it too much as long as they didn't humiliate him. Though this one was pushing it a bit in his opinion.

One of the classmates then took the note and read it out loud. "Happy Sloppy Joe Tuesday, Lame-o. Signed, Ronnie Anne."

"And there's a heart!" Another classmate pointed out.

"Oooooooo!" All of Lincoln's classmates at the table, apart from Clyde, all started to tease Lincoln. "Lincoln's got a girlfriend!"

Lincoln gave the other students an annoyed look. "What?! No I don't."

"When's the wedding day, Lincoln?" The same classmate asked, causing the other boys, besides Clyde, to laugh.

"Ha-ha. Very funny, guys." Lincoln said sarcastically.

The classmates then started to sing. "Ronnie and Lincoln sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G."

The group then started laughing again. Having enough of his classmates teasing, Lincoln got up and then stood on the table to get everyone's attention. "Guys, Ronnie Anne is NOT my girlfriend. She's rude and gross and totally annoying. I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo." Lincoln then heard a gasp from behind him and turned around. "Ronnie Anne!"

Ronnie Anne stared at Lincoln in shock before putting on an angry scowl as she then stormed out the lunch room. Clyde gave Lincoln a look of concern. "Whoa, Lincoln, I think you really hurt her feelings."

"C'mon, Clyde, Ronnie Anne is the toughest girl at school." Lincoln dismissed. "She'll be fine."

...

Lincoln wasn't too concerned with what happened earlier that day. He was now focused on working on his science project as he was currently carrying a model of the solar system as he walked home with his friend, Rusty. Rusty had fair skin and curly orange hair. He wore blue baggy pants and a light green T-shirt with a yellow collar. He also had buck teeth, and freckles all over his face. "Sorry I have to bring my little bro. My parents are at work so I didn't really have a choice." Rusty gestured to the boy walking behind them.

Rusty's brother, Rocky, looked similar to his brother though he was around Lucy's age and wore a blue striped shirt and brown shorts. He currently had a bored expression on his face.

"No problem." Lincoln replied. Once they reached the Loud house, Lincoln handed the project to Rusty before turning to Rocky. "Hey, Rocky. Make yourself at home." Lincoln then offered Rocky a fist bump.

Though still looking bored, Rocky reciprocated. "Thanks, man." Rocky and Rusty then walked into the dining room.

"Hey Lincoln."

"Gah!" Lincoln jumped before turning around to face Lucy, currently holding a bottle of molasses.

"Lori wanted to see you in her room. She looked pretty upset." Lucy explained.

Lincoln gulped. "Oh boy. What is it this time?"

Lucy shrugged. Lincoln then made his way upstairs. As he left, Lucy then got curious about who Lincoln had brought home. She looked into the dining room and then noticed Rocky playing with a baseball. "Gasp." Lucy didn't know why but she had found herself infatuated as she stared at the boy. "Ohh..." the molasses bottle she was holding then slipped through her fingers and broke on the floor. The two brothers looked over, only to see a trail of footprints made of molasses.

Meanwhile upstairs, Lincoln entered Lori's room, only for a pillow to go flying into his face. "Oof! Huh?" Lincoln then looked at Lori. She was wearing her blue sweater and had a furious look on her face as makeup ran down it, indicating that she had been crying. Tissue boxes and half eaten food were strewn around the room.

"YOU MONSTER!" Lori screamed in distraught. "You made Ronnie Anne CRY!"

"Cry? I didn't mean to! Wait, how do you know?" Lincoln asked. Lori then threw another pillow at Lincoln which harmlessly bounced off his face.

"Bobby told me..." Lori explained before she started to cry again. "RIGHT BEFORE HE BROKE UP WITH ME!"

"What? Why does Bobby care?" Lincoln asked. Lori threw another pillow that Lincoln sidestepped this time before getting out a photo album.

"Because Bobby is literally Ronnie Anne's brother!" Lori explained as she pointed to a picture of herself along with Bobby giving Ronnie Anne a piggyback ride. "He said he could never date someone related to someone who hurt someone he's related to! Or something like that!"

"Ronnie Anne has a brother?" Lincoln asked rhetorically before he walked up to Lori. "Look I'm sorry. I didn't mean to make her upset. Some guys at school were teasing me, saying I was dating Ronnie Anne. I got put on the spot, so that's why I said those things."

Lori took a couple of deep breaths as she started to calm down. "Ok. Ok. I understand. But you still need to make things right with Ronnie Anne. Bobby needs to see you being nice to her so I arranged a double date. We have a reservation at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet tomorrow at six!"

"Wait, what?" Lincoln asked, not exactly wanting to go on a date with Ronnie Anne.

"You don't have to go out with her." Lori clarified. "I don't care if you literally never talk to her again after tomorrow but for this date, I just need you to make up with Ronnie Anne so I can make up with Bobby. So can you please do this for me?"

Lincoln sighed. "Yeah, Ok."

"Thank you." Lincoln then left Lori's room went back downstairs to the dining room, now thinking about what he was going to do tomorrow.

"Sorry about that. Just another sibling problem." Lincoln explained to Rusty.

Rusty gave Lincoln a sympathetic look. "Yeah, I know what that's like."

Meanwhile, Rocky was now in the living room, playing a portable video game when he heard a sound coming from the fireplace.

"Sigh."

Rocky looked over but didn't see anything unusual. He shrugged and went back to playing.

As Lincoln kept working on the project, he found himself distracted by thoughts on what he was going to do on tomorrow's date. He then came up with an idea. "Sorry Rusty, you're gonna have to excuse me again." Lincoln explained before he ran upstairs to his bedroom. He picked up his walkie-talkie in order to talk to Clyde. "Clyde, I need your help."

Clyde then answered. "What's up, Lincoln?"

"I have to go on a double date at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet with Ronnie Anne." Lincoln told him.

"Ooh, I love fusion cuisine! But why?" Clyde asked.

"Because you were right. I did hurt her feelings, she told Bobby, and he broke up with Lori, and now Lori's making me-" Lincoln started to hear static. "Clyde? Clyde?"

Clyde had dropped the walkie-talkie and had started dancing. "Clyde and Lori sitting in a tree! Where there's no room for dumb Bobby! Woo!" Clyde sang to himself.

After not getting any answers from Clyde, Lincoln went back downstairs to continue working on the project. Meanwhile, Lucy had retreated to her bedroom. "Sigh." Lucy started to talk to herself. "I know he's not really my type. But he's so..." Lucy looked out her window. "What's the word my sisters use? Cute." She then picked up her Edwin bust. "Don't worry, Edwin. You'll always be my undead soul mate. But until we're united, it'd be cool to have someone to hang with." She put the Edwin bust down and then stared at it for a moment. "You think I should just talk to him?" She then patted the bust. "I knew you'd understand."

Back downstairs, Rocky had gone into the fridge in search of something to eat. He then noticed a container of Lucy's fake blood. Curious, he took out the container and closed the fridge door.

"I see you found my blood."

"Ah!" Rocky then jumped, spilling the fake blood all over himself.

Lucy moved in closer, making Rocky uncomfortable. "It's my new recipe. Beet juice, molasses, and cocoa powder. Hmm." Lucy then poked Rocky's shirt in order to feel the texture of the blood. "Now it's got the ooze but not the splatter." Lucy then held out her hand towards Rocky. "Hi, I'm Lucy." Rocky froze in place for a second, not sure what to do before running off. Lucy looked at her blood covered hand in disappointment.

Rocky had gone to the bathroom to clean himself. Unfortunately he couldn't wash out the blood stain on his shirt. As he walked out, he then stopped himself to a halt as he noticed Lucy. "Thought you might want a clean shirt." Lucy said as she held out one of Lincoln's orange shirts on a hanger. She started to walk towards him, causing him to walk backwards. "Just to be clear, it's my brother's. I would never wear something so offensively cheerful."

"Ah!" Rocky then fell down the stairs. Uninjured, he got up and ran out the door in a panic. After hearing what just happened, Lincoln and Rusty looked out the dining room.

"Was that Rocky?" Rusty asked. "Sorry, Lincoln, you'll have to finish the project." Rusty then ran out the door in order to catch up with his brother.

Lincoln walked into the living room. He noticed Lucy sat down on the couch looking down so he went to go sit next to her. "What happened?"

"I keep trying to talk to Rocky but every time, he runs away from me." Lucy then curled up to herself. "What am I doing wrong?"

"Well, what are you talking to him about?"

"The usual stuff. Blood, bruises." As she explained, a couple of her bats had flewn down to perch themselves on her head. "I didn't even get a chance to show him my new embalming kit."

"You know, maybe he's just not into that kind of stuff."

"Then, what is he into?"

"I don't know him very well but he just seems like a regular, normal kid."

"Regular and normal. Hmm..." Lucy thought hard about those words as she headed back upstairs. "Regular and normal."

...

Later on that evening, Lori kicked open her door. She had cleaned herself up and was back in her usual outfit. "Lola! Did you take my Red Riot lipstick again?!" Lori shouted down the hall.

Lola then left her room, equally as angry. "No, but someone took my perfume. I bet it was Leni!"

The bathroom door opened, revealing Leni inside. "Was not! But I'd like to know who took my pink chiffon dress, Lori!"

The three sisters started to argue with each other until Lola noticed something and held up her hands to stop the argument. "Hang on, I smell my perfume!" Lola followed the scent to Lynn and Lucy's room with Lori and Leni following behind. "LYNN! You'd better not be using my perfume to cover the stink of your hockey pads!" Lola shouted before slamming open the door. The three sisters gasped at the sight of Lucy using the perfume, wearing Leni's dress though it looked more like she had tied it around herself and having lipstick smeared across her face. Upon Lola opening the door, Lucy tried to hide the perfume.

"What are you doing?" Lori asked curiously.

"I-I-I..." Lucy stuttered. "I thought if I'd be regular and normal, Rusty's brother, Rocky, would like me. Sorry I took your stuff. I understand if you're mad."

Lola then walked out the room. Lori stomped her foot. "You're darn right we're mad!" Lucy looked down in shame before Lori continued. "Mad you didn't let us help!"

"Yeah, we've been wanting to give you a makeover since, like, birth!" Leni added excitedly.

Lola then came back in with a big cardboard collage of fashion models with Lucy's face plastered all over their own. "I've been working on this Lucy vision board for years! Until now, it was just a fantasy."

As Lola stroke the board, Lucy gaped at her sisters, slightly shocked that they had been waiting for a moment to do this. Lori stuck her head out of Lucy's bedroom to call the other sisters. "GUYS! IT'S LITERALLY HAPPENING! LUCY'S FINALLY READY!"

The rest of Lucy's sisters then came in, each holding some type of beauty gear. Lucy was starting to get nervous. "Will this hurt?"

...

Once it was done, the sisters took a step back to admire her. "Perfect!" Lori exclaimed. Lucy took a look at herself in the mirror. Her hair had been dyed blond and had a dark magenta ribbon-like headband on it. She now wore a pink dress with a dark magenta jacket over it and dark magenta shoes. She also now sported some light blush and pink lipstick. Lucy noted that it was almost the exact opposite of what she usually looked like. Due to this fact, she wasn't exactly thrilled with how she looked. However, a small part of her didn't mind too much with how cute she looked and if Rocky liked it, then it wouldn't be so bad.

"Sigh, I guess I could live with this." One of Lucy's bats then perched on her head. "What do you think, Fangs?"

Lola then shooed the bat away. "Eww, eww! No more bats!"

"Yeah, and do not talk about mortality." Luna advised her.

"Or death." Leni added.

"Or ask him his blood type." Lana chimed.

"Or suggest a cemetery for a date." Lori continued.

"And make sure you laugh at all of his jokes. Like this." Luan then did a convincing fake laugh.

Lucy poorly attempted to copy her. "Ha ha. Ha. Ha ha."

"Oh, and talk about sports. Guys really dig that." Lynn then advised.

After her sisters had explained to her what to do and what not to do, Lucy looked at herself in the mirror again. Her expression was unreadable. "Perfect huh?"

Lisa then approached her with her own perfume. "If all else fails, try a little of my patented pizza spray, scientifically proven to attract eight-year-old boys." She sprayed Lucy with it, causing her and the rest of her sisters to start coughing. "Note to self: go lighter on the anchovies."

Lucy was then suddenly attacked by the family cat, Cliff, due to the spray. "Aah!"

Lincoln carried his finished model upstairs before screaming at the site of a girl being attacked by a cat running past him. "Aah!"

He then screamed again as a bat flew after the girl, causing him to duck. "Aah!" He then noticed his sisters sticking their heads out of Lynn and Lucy's room. "Who was that?"

"The new and improved, regular and normal Lucy!" Lori exclaimed proudly.

"AKA the future Mrs. Rocky!" Leni added excitedly.

"So, that's how you're helping Lucy?" Lincoln then looked back to the stairs, feeling unsure of his sisters' methods. "I don't know, guys. That seems like a really-"

Lincoln was then interrupted by Lisa. "Oh, please. As if a male would have any insight into matters of the heart."

Lincoln gave Lisa an offended glare before Luna spoke. "You just get Rocky back here, bro."

"How am I supposed to do that?" Lincoln asked.

"Get Rusty to bring him." Luan told him. "Don't you guys have more work to do on your project?"

"Nope. All finished." Lincoln then held up his model, proudly displaying it before Lynn whacked it with a hockey stick.

"Not anymore." Lynn laughed.

...

The next day, the Loud siblings and Rick had all gathered in the dining room to eat breakfast. Lucy had managed to maintain the makeover her sisters had given her. The Loud parents then entered the dining room with their own breakfast.

"Happy Valentines day everyone!" Rita called out before noticing Lucy. "Lucy? What happened to you?"

Lucy got nervous from being put on the spot. "Um...I'm just trying out a new look is all."

"Oh. Well that's alright. You look good in that outfit sweetie." Rita smiled at Lucy before whispering to Lynn Sr. "Probably just a phase." Lynn Sr. nodded as Rita then turned back to her family. "So, are you kids doing anything for today." Rick then groaned, earning an annoyed look from Rita. "Is something wrong Rick?"

"Listen, I hate to break it to you, but what people call 'love' is a chemical reaction that compels animals to breed. It hits hard, then it slowly fades, leaving you stranded in a failing marriage. It happened to me. Don't let it happen to you, kids." Rick ranted.

"Rick!" Rita snapped. "That is entirely inappropriate! You can't say that in front of the younger ones!" Rita gestured to her younger daughters.

"I'm just stating a fact Rita." Rick argued.

"Oh yeah? Well your 'fact' doesn't seem all that accurate considering me and Lynn's marriage is perfectly fine. Right Lynn?"

Lynn Sr. had been awkwardly looking away, not wanting to get involved in the argument until Rita asked her question which he then turned her face her. "Of course honey."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Whatever. I guess, statistically, someone could have a happy marriage."

Rita glared at Rick again before deciding to drop it for now. She then turned to address her kids again. "So, anyone got any plans?"

Leni gave a confused look. "Valentines is today? I thought that was last week. I already asked out Chaz."

"You did?" Lori asked before looking confused. "Wait, how come you didn't tell anyone?"

Leni shrugged before enthusiastically telling everyone about Chaz. "Chaz is like the sweetest guy! I met him when he was working at the clothes store. Oh, you'd like him, Lincoln. He's into that...Blake Saucy was it?"

"You mean Ace Savvy?" Lincoln asked curiously.

"Yeah that!" Leni grinned. "Also, he invited me to play mini-golf with him this evening."

Lori raised an eyebrow at Leni. "Wait, since when were you into golf?"

"Well Chaz is pretty into it." Leni explained. "He said he wanted to teach me it."

"Huh." Lori said before an idea came to mind. "Actually Leni, we need to have a talk about this mini-golf date later on."

Rita then turned to Lincoln. "How about you Lincoln?"

Lincoln sighed. "Well, me and Lori are going to Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet for a double date."

Rita grinned. "Ooh. So who's the special girl?"

Lincoln sighed again, preparing himself for the worst. "...Ronnie Anne."

At that, all his sisters started to squeal apart from Lori, who already knew and Lisa, who was doing her best to suppress herself this time. Rick scowled and covered his ears at his granddaughters squealing.

"Guys, it's not like that." Lincoln tried to explain. "I'm just trying to make up after I said something bad to her yesterday. I just hope I can finish my science project in time before we set off." He said, glaring at Lynn.

Lynn noticed the glare and shrugged nonchalantly in response. "Well, I'll be doing some baseball practice after school. Seems like as good a time as any to ask out Francisco."

"I've got rehearsals for a play tonight." Luan added. "Since Benny's there, I'll finally have the chance to ask him out."

Rita then turned to her younger daughters. "What about you girls?"

"Sigh, I don't have anything planned." Lucy explained. "Though I think I'll be meeting someone after school."

Lana shrugged. "Eh. I'm not into any of that mushy stuff."

"I'm not at a mature enough age to start having any romantic feelings for anyone." Lisa explained.

Lola grinned. "Which is great, because I've got a pageant tonight and someone's gotta come!"

"Goo goo ba ba!" Lily babbled happily, attempting to join in on the conversation. Obviously, she had no plans tonight.

Rita then noticed Luna looking downcast. "Oh sorry Luna, I forgot to ask you. Is there anyone you're interested in?"

Luna sighed. "Yeah. But there's no way Sam's ever gonna date someone like me."

Luna's parents and siblings all looked shocked that Luna would speak so negatively about herself. "Luna, how could you say that?" Rita chastised. "You're a wonderful girl, why wouldn't this guy wanna date you?"

Luna took a deep breath and steeled herself, preparing for the worst with what she was about to confess. "That's the problem dudes. Sam's not a guy. She's a girl. I'm bi."

Everyone's eyes widened at that confession. Even Rick was caught off guard. Only Lana and Lola gave Luna a confused look. Rita then gave Luna a comforting smile. "Well that's perfectly fine honey, there's absolutely nothing wrong with that."

Lori placed a hand on Luna's shoulder. "I think we all agree with that. Right guys?"

"Of course I do." Leni chimed in. "Some are my friends are gay too. I don't see what the big deal is."

"Y-Yeah that's perfectly fine." Luan slightly stammered though no one seemed to notice.

Lana and Lola were still looking confused. "What does gay and bi mean?" Lola asked.

Luna turned to face them. "Oh, lemme explain. You know how dudes fall in love with dudettes and dudettes fall in love with dudes?" Lana and Lola both nodded. "Well there are some dudes that fall in love with other dudes and some dudettes that fall in love with other dudettes. That makes then gay. For me though, I could go either way. I'm interested in guys and girls. That makes me bi which is short for bisexual. You understand what I'm saying?"

"Oh, I get you now." Lana said, not seeing anything wrong with that.

"Is that all? Huh." Lola said, not really seeing what the big deal about it was.

Luna smiled at her family. "Thanks dudes. I wasn't sure how you guys were gonna react. Still..." Luna started looking downcast again. "I dunno if Sam's gonna react the same way. I have no idea which way she swings."

Leni looked confused. "Wait, what does baseball have to do with this?"

"Luna you just need to take the risk and try asking her out." Lori advised.

"Or" Rita chimed in. "Why don't you ask her what she's interested in and if she's compatible, then ask her out?"

"If I do that, she'll know for sure what I'm getting at." Luna argued. "I've been friends with Sam for years. I'm not sure I wanna ruin that because of some dumb crush."

Lori sighed before grabbing both of Luna's shoulders to face her. "Alright listen, how much do you want to date Sam?"

Luna took a second to think about it. "More than anything dude."

"Then you need to just suck it up and ask her out. Today's the perfect day. If you don't ask her out, you'll be wondering about what you're missing out on in the future. Do you really wanna miss your chance?" Lori asked.

Luna put a determined look on her face. "You're right dude. It's time to face the music. Today, I'll confess to her."

Lori patted Luna on the back. "You'll be fine. She'd be crazy to say no to you. But even if she does, there'll be others out there."

Luna smiled before turning to her parents. "What about you dudes? What are you doing today?"

"Oh, us?" Rita laughed. "Oh, nothing too fancy this year. We'll just be staying in with Lily."

"Well, actually I'll be cooking a fancy dinner just for us. Isn't that right honey?" Lynn Sr. grinned at his wife.

Rita giggled in return before noticing everyone had finished their breakfast. "All right, get ready for school everyone. Hope you all do well on your dates."

Little did the Loud siblings know, this would be a valentines day they would never forget.

...

For everyone, apart from Lucy getting a few odd looks, nothing particularly interesting happened at school (or homeschool in Lola's case, which she had whenever a pageant was coming up). Not even for Luna. Try as she might she couldn't work up the nerve to ask out Sam as everytime she tried, self doubt started to plague her mind. "Dream on, Lunes. You're the owner of a lonely heart." Luna thought to herself as she rode home in the family van.

Lori then turned to face her. "So, how did it go?"

Luna started to look nervous. "Uh, well I haven't asked her out yet. I thought that maybe it'd be better to ask her out at the dance tonight."

"Well, whatever suits you best." Lori remarked as they arrived at the house. As Luna got out the van, she pondered to herself on what to do tonight. She couldn't let this opportunity pass while she still had it. There had to be something she could do.

She then looked towards the garage. Despite a part of herself telling her that this was a really bad idea, she made her way inside.

Once she entered, she saw Rick working on some kind of machine on his desk. "H-hey Grandpa Rick." Luna greeted him awkwardly as she rubbed her arm.

"Oh, hey Luna, hey could you hand me that screwdriver?" Rick asked. "I'm almost finished making my ionic defibulizer, Luna. It's gonna be great."

Luna scratched the back of her head. "Hey, listen Grandpa Rick. Remember earlier when you were talking about how love is just a chemical and stuff?" Luna approached Rick at his desk. "You see..I, um...well...do you think you could make some kinda chemical to make Sam...fall in love with me?"

Rick then got up and turned to face her, raising his eyebrow at her. "Why should I do that? That's such a poor use of my time, it's beneath me. What, did she reject you or something?"

Luna sighed. "I just couldn't do it. I can't ask her out. What if she hates me? What if she tells the whole school? I don't think I could handle that. But I can't just hold it in any more. I have to do something!"

It was now Rick's turn to sigh. Truth be told, he was somewhat sympathetic to her plight. He walked over to his shelf and picked out a test tube with some greenish yellow liquid inside along with a box of other tools. "Listen, this is called oxytocin. I extracted it from a vole. You know what a VOLE is, Luna, you know what a vole is?"

Luna shook her head as Rick walked away from the shelf. "It's a-it's a rodent that mates for life, Luna. This is the chemical release in the mammal's brain," Rick got out some kind of machine from the box and opened its hatch, pouring the oxytocin into it. "that makes it fall in love. Alright Luna, I just gotta combine it with some of your DNA."

Luna picked out a hair and handed it to Rick. Rick then dropped the hair into the machine and closed the hatch. The machine then vibrated and made some noise before it poured an orange liquid into a conical flask, almost like a coffee machine. Rick then picked up the flask. "Alright, Luna, whoever you smear this stuff on will fall in love with you and only you, forever. Ya happy now, Luna?"

Rick handed Luna the flask before walking back to sit at his desk. Luna frowned at it as she wondered if this was really the only way. "So, there's no dangers or side effects, right?"

Rick frowned as he turned back to her. "Www.. what am I, a hack?! Go nuts, Luna, it's full proof."

Luna stared intensely at the flask, still wondering if it was wise to use it as she left Rick's garage to go get ready for the dance.

Once she left, Rick then remembered something. "Hm. Unless she has the flu." Rick shrugged as he kept working on the ionic defibulizer.

...

Once again, Lincoln had come home with Rusty, taking Rocky with him, as they worked on their science project. They were in the living room while Rocky sat on a chair, playing with a baseball. Lincoln was also now wearing a pair of khaki pants. "So, the cat did this?" Rusty asked, suspicious about Lincoln's claim on who broke the model.

"Uh, yup." Lincoln then turned to face Cliff. "Bad Cliff!"

The cat glared at Lincoln in response. Lucy then started to make her way downstairs. She almost slipped over on the way down but managed to regain her balance. She walked over to the chair Rocky was sat at and struck a pose. To her disappointment, Rocky didn't seem to notice her. Lucy then noticed her sisters standing on the stairs. Leni signalled to flip her hair at him.

Lucy then did just that. "OMG, Rocky. It's totes great to see you."

Rocky looked over and squinted his eyes at her. "Um...who are you?"

Lucy spread her arms out. "I'm Lucy."

Rocky's eyes widened in surprise. "Oh. Uh...I didn't recognize you."

"And done!" Lincoln announced as he and Rusty had finally finished their project. Just then the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Leni called out as she went down to answer the door. "Hey Chaz!"

"Hey Leni." Chaz greeted her casually. Lucy looked over at him. He was absolutely not what she expected Leni's boyfriend to look like. He was an obese teenager with dark orange hair and freckles. He wore an aqua blue cap backwards, a gold t-shirt with horizontal cream stripes and dark gray jeans. "Sorry about this, but our friends won't be able to make it to mini-golf."

Leni gasped as she then got upset. "What? But we already bought, like...four tickets...right?"

"Hey maybe, you could invite two other people to come." Chaz suggested. Despite being a better actor than Leni, he seemed pretty nonchalant about the ordeal, smiling the whole time.

"Uhh right. Great idea! Lucy, do you wanna come?" Leni asked.

"I'm supposed to meet my girlfriends at the mall, but...YOLO." Lucy replied, hiding how disgusted she felt for saying that.

"Man, if only there was another-"

Before Chaz could finish, Leni jumped ahead. "Rocky! You're free right? Great!" Leni then grabbed his arm to take him with her.

"Ok everyone, time to go!" Lori called out as she came down. She was now wearing a blue dress shirt and a purple skirt with a belt. All the siblings sans Lily then ran down and piled into the van along with Chaz and Rocky.

They had all also forgot that Rusty was still there. "Guess I'll just go home then." Rusty said to himself as he picked up the model and then headed home.

...

Lori had just about finished dropping everyone off, leaving just her, Lincoln, Leni, Lucy, Chaz and Rocky. She now arrived at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet. By the time she reached it, the sun had started to set as the sky had turned orange. She and Lincoln got out the van while Leni then got out to take the driver's seat. "You be careful, ok Leni?" Lori told Leni, concerned for her sisters' safety.

"Don't worry, I got this." Leni reassured as she drove off. Lincoln and Lori then walked towards the building. They noticed Bobby and Ronnie Anne who looked the same as usual. Both Lori and Bobby seemed happy to see each other.

"Hi Bobby." Lori greeted shyly.

Bobby smiled and waved at her. "Hey babe-I mean, Lori." He remembered why he was here and looked away, pretending to be upset with her. Ronnie Anne rolled her eyes at her brother.

"Hi, Ronnie Anne." Lincoln greeted. Lori gave Lincoln a slight nudge. He then put on a smile. "You're looking lovely this evening."

"Yeah, we weirdos clean up nice." Ronnie Anne remarked sarcastically. She looked like she would rather be anywhere else in the world than here. "Let's just get this over with."

Lincoln and Lori looked down as the four entered the french/mexican themed restaurant. To Lincoln's surprise, Clyde was standing at the counter, poorly disguising himself with a Mexican scarf, a French beret, and a fake mustache. Lori, Bobby and Ronnie Anne didn't seem to recognise him. "Good evening, Monjour et Señoritas. Welcome to Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet!"

Lincoln went up to Clyde and pulled him towards him before whispering to him. "Clyde, what are you doing!?"

"Ooh mints!" After noticing a bowl of mints on the counter, Bobby took one to eat.

Clyde growled at the sight of Lori's boyfriend before looking at Lincoln with a smile on his face. "Just here to help you, buddy."

Lincoln frowned. "I know what you're up to. You know this really isn't the best time for this right?" Lincoln could usually tolerate his best friends' obsession with his older sister but today was a little too important for Lincoln to deal Clyde's shenanigans.

Clyde twirled his fake moustache. "Don't worry. You won't even know I'm here!" Clyde then leaned on the counter, tipping it over causing Lincoln and Lori to jump. This also made the bowl of mints spill over, causing a waiter walking by to slip up. Acting like nothing happened, Clyde then leaned on the tipped over counter. "So, table for three?"

Bobby smiled. "Actually, there are four-"

Clyde purposely ignored Bobby. "Very good. Three. Right this way." Clyde led the group to a table and pulled up a chair for Lori. "Ma'amsellita."

Lincoln then tried to do the same for Ronnie Anne. In response, Ronnie Anne pulled out her own chair to sit in. Lincoln then sat down, feeling slightly annoyed. Bobby then approached the table, noticing something. "Wow, table blankets?" Bobby leaned on a chair and smiled at Lori. "Pretty romantic."

Lori clasped her hands and gave Bobby a romantic stare. "I know. Isn't it?"

Bobby looked away, still trying to stay upset with Lori. "I mean, whatever. It's fine."

Clyde then pulled out the last chair. Bobby assumed he was pulling it out for him. "Hey, thanks, man." He moved to sit down but then Clyde then took the chair away, causing Bobby to fall on the floor. "Ow! Hey, wait!" Bobby got up. Not seeing any other free chairs, he was forced to make do with sitting on a potted plant he dragged to the table.

After that, there was an awkward silence. Lincoln noticed Ronnie Anne was glaring at him. He decided to try and make small talk. "So, I hear the Quiche Rancheros is excellent." Ronnie Anne didn't reply back, still scowling at him.

Clyde then came back, holding a plate with three glasses of water. He gave two of them to Lincoln and Ronnie Anne. "Two flat waters..." He then gave the last one to Lori, trying to give her a charming smile. "and one sparkling, to match your eyes." Lori didn't really take note of Clyde as she was still staring at Bobby.

Bobby tapped Clyde's shoulder. "Uh, could I get a water? And maybe a chair?" Clyde ignored Bobby again and walked off. Bobby gave Clyde an annoyed glare in response.

Later on, Lincoln tried again to talk to Ronnie Anne, giving her a smile. "So, how about that math test? I mean, 'show your work?!' What is that?" Ronnie Anne looked away, still scowling.

As Lori and Bobby were eating their meals, they were both facing away from one another to try and avoid staring at each other. Clyde then came over with a silver plate. "If I may..." Clyde then lifted the cover, not so subtly slamming it into Bobby's face causing him to hold it in pain. "...a special treat for a special lady: A nacho from Jean Juan's private collection!"

Both Lori and Bobby stood up. "I think I'll hit the buffet again." Both of them said simultaneously.

Lori gasped while Clyde had a disillusioned look on his face. "We both said the same thing at the exact same time! It's like we're literally meant to be." The two then walked off to the buffet. Lori had a look of glee while Bobby awkwardly scratched the back of his head. Clyde watched them forlornly before angrily punching the nacho he was holding.

Lincoln then tried to imitate his sister. "It's like we're literally meant to be."

This got a giggle out of Ronnie Anne. She rolled her eyes. "Oh, they're so cheesy!"

Lincoln then giggled. "Yeah, Yeah! Cheesier than this Fromage Con Queso!" Lincoln gestured to what he was eating.

Ronnie Anne laughed. "Oh, remember that time Bobby thought store-bought flowers were too 'impersonal', so he picked his own?"

"Yeah, and they turned out to be poison ivy! Lori swelled up like a salted turkey!" Lincoln squeezed his cheeks for emphasis.

As the two laughed, Lori watched them from the buffet with a smile. "Aw, look, they're getting along!" Lori then turned to Bobby. He was back to rubbing his still aching face. He was looking irritated. "Are you ok, Bobby?"

"Huh?" Bobby turned to her. "Yeah it's just...maybe coming here was a bad idea."

Lori got nervous. "W-what do you mean."

Bobby scratched the back of his head. "I mean...has the service here always been so terrible?"

Lori then gestured to their siblings. "Look on the bright side, Lincoln and Ronnie Anne seem to be getting along now." She gave Bobby a nervous grin.

Bobby looked at the two and gave a happy sigh. "Well, at least Ronnie Anne's having fun." He then turned back to the buffet. Lori looked at him awkwardly. Perhaps this wasn't the right time to reconcile just yet.

Lincoln waved his hand dismissively. "Ugh, the nicknames!"

Ronnie Anne held her hand up. "I know. And don't get me started on the kissing. It's so gross! Who does that!?"

"Yeah, and how about all the selfies?"

Ronnie Anne chuckled as she put her arm around Lincoln and pretended to take a selfie with her other hand.

"Don't get my bad side, Bobby!" Lincoln imitated Lori.

"You don't have a bad side, babe." Ronnie Anne imitated Bobby. "Click, click, click!"

The two shared a laugh before Lincoln turned serious, scratching the back of his head. "You know, I'm really sorry for what I said at school."

Ronnie Anne looked down. "It's okay." Feeling awkward, she started played with her hair. "Sorry about the sloppy joe."

The two then shared a heartfelt smile before Lori and Bobby came back. Lori was looking somewhat down while Bobby seemed a little moody. Lincoln then heard a door open. He looked over and to his dismay, the same classmates that were teasing him yesterday had entered the restaurant. Not wanting to be seen with Ronnie Anne, Lincoln hid under the table. "What are you doing?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Just, uh, dropped my fork." Lincoln lied, he then crawled out the other side of the table, startling Lori and Bobby.

"Lincoln, where are you going!?" Lori angrily asked.

"Uh, bathroom." Lincoln then grabbed his stomach pretending to need the bathroom. "I hope no one else had the Chile Con Escargots!"

Lincoln tried to dash towards the bathroom but unfortunately, his classmates had spotted him. "Hey Lincoln. Whatcha doing at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet?"

Lincoln stopped to a halt and turned to the other kids. "I'm just here with family. I mean, friends. I, I mean, family friends." Lincoln stammered, hoping they'd buy the lie.

That student then noticed something. "Isn't that Ronnie Anne?"

"No!" Lincoln shrugged nervously. "I mean, maybe. I didn't know she was here."

Lincoln's classmates were smirking at him. The boy then pointed to Lincoln's pants. "Hey, are those khakis?" The boy gasped. "You're wearing date pants!"

"I knew it! Ronnie Anne is your girlfriend!" Another classmate mocked as the group of kids started laughing at Lincoln.

Lincoln turned to them in frustration. "She is NOT my girlfriend! Guys, I already told you. Ronnie Anne is rude and gross and totally annoying. I'd rather lick the bathroom floor than kiss that weirdo."

"LINCOLN!" Lincoln heard Lori shriek. He looked to see Lori and Bobby giving him furious looks while Ronnie Anne looked devastated. She then frowned with tears welling in her eyes as she ran out the entrance.

"Nini!" Bobby called out as he ran out after her.

"Hey wait!" Lincoln called out as well as he and Lori chased after them.

...

It had gotten dark by the time Leni and Lucy had made it to Hole-In-Onederland. As the group approached the first hole, Leni spoke to Lucy. "What did Lori tell me to-oh yeah, Lori told me to remind you to keep acting regular and normal." Leni then went up first though she was holding the golf club the wrong way. "So how do you do this again, Chaz?"

Chaz then came up to Leni with a casual smile and turned the golf club the other way. "It's not so hard. You just gotta hit the ball and get it into that hole over there." He pointed to the hole and the end of the course. Leni then tried to swing for the ball. Not only did she miss the ball but she accidentally whacked Chaz's knee causing him to hold it. "Oof."

"Oh my gosh. Sorry!" Leni quickly apologised.

Chaz shook the pain off and put a casual smile back on before giving Leni a thumbs up. "Nah, it's cool."

After seeing what just happened, Lucy grinned as she then whacked Rocky's knee with her golf club. "Oops." Lucy then tossed her golf club.

Rocky obviously wasn't impressed. "Ow! What was that for?"

"I thought uh, um, uh, how about that baseball team...that...played the other night?" Lucy grinned nervously while Rocky gave her a confused look.

...

At the next hole, Chaz putted his ball into a windmill. The ball came out the other side and fell into the hole, earning Chaz a hole in one. He raised his fists into the air. "Yes! Chaz like!"

Leni clapped for him. "Ooh, nice shot. So how many points is that?"

Chaz walked up to her, smiling as usual. "Just the one."

Leni got confused. "Just one? Isn't that bad?"

Chaz shook his head. "Nah, nah you see-"

As Chaz explained the rules of golf to Leni, Rocky came up to take his shot. However, he hit the ball too hard causing it to ricochet off course. Lucy then came up to him with her hands clasped. "Ooh, great shot, Rocky Bear."

Once again, Rocky gave her a confused look. "What? I totally shanked it. My ball went down a rain gutter."

Lucy frowned in thought for a second before pretending to laugh. "Ha ha. Ha ha. You're so funny."

Lucy then pushed him, causing him to fall into the water hazard. "Ah!"

...

The four were now on a haunted themed hole. Rocky had just managed to sink his ball into the hole.

"Nice shot bro!" Chaz complimented, offering Rocky a fist bump which Rocky reciprocated.

Leni came and nervously held onto Chaz's arm. "Ooh. This hole is totes spooky." She then turned to Lucy.

Lucy had gotten preoccupied with admiring a casket used to decorate the hole. "Whoa. The Freilich 2000 with crushed velvet interior. I've only seen these in catalogues." She opened the casket, about to get into it before Leni ran up to her to try to pull her off it.

"Lucy wait! I don't think you're supposed to do that." Leni managed to pull Lucy off though she didn't notice Rocky had come up behind her as she accidentally knocked Rocky into a coffin, causing him to scream.

...

At the valentines dance, Luna had just finished her performance, giving everyone the rock on sign as she walked off stage while another student went up on stage to start a rap song. As she walked, she noticed Sam applauding for her. Backstage, she got out the vial. She took a moment to reconsider what she was about to do. Gulping, she poured the potion onto her hand and went down to meet with Sam.

As she approached her, Sam grinned and gave Luna a rock on sign. "Great performance, Lunes!"

"Heck yeah!" Luna then held out her hand for a high five. Sam reciprocated it.

Sam started to feel odd. Her pupils dilated as she looked at Luna. "Whoa, Luna. You look REALLY nice tonight."

Luna awkwardly scratched the back of her head, looking away. "Uhh thanks."

Luna gasped as Sam then pulled Luna in for a hug. "I love you, Luna. I love you so much it burns!"

Despite a voice in the back of Luna's head telling her that this was wrong, Luna smiled. "I-I love you too Sam."

Sam then sneezed, not even bothering to cover her mouth as she solely focused on Luna. "Dude!" Luna called out, slightly disgusted.

A moment later, a random student came up to Luna and suddenly grabbed her shoulders to get Luna to face him. Like Sam, his pupils were dilated. "Luna, I know we've never spoken to each other before but...there's somethin' special bout you, Luna, somethin' special." The student then hugged Luna, placing one of his hands on her butt.

At that, Luna tried to push the guy off her. "Wha-Dude, get off me!"

Sam then roughly shoved the student away. "Back off! She's mine!" Sam growled before she shouted. "Someone help! This guy's trying to touch my girlfriend!"

Seeing that there may be a major problem happening, two teachers then came by to drag the guy away. "Hey wait!"

Sam then dragged Luna off before grabbing her again. "Never leave me, Luna, NEVER."

Luna was starting to get nervous as some students were starting to give the two looks. "Uh ok..uh what do you think that was about?"

"Who cares? Just hold me." Sam held onto Luna tighter.

As he was being dragged out, the student started screaming. "LET ME GO! I LOVE YOU LUNA!" The student then started to have a sneezing fit.

...

Back at the Loud house, Lynn Sr. and Rita had just finished the meal that Lynn Sr. had prepared. Lily was sat on another nearby table, eating her own food. Lynn Sr. grinned at his wife. "So how was it?"

"Wonderful! Just like usual." Rita seemed distracted by something.

"What's wrong?" Lynn Sr. asked.

Rita sighed. "I've been thinking about Rick. I've been reconsidering if him living here has been good for our family. You heard him earlier today, I don't want him saying that kinda stuff to our kids."

"Come on, Rita, so the guy's a little opinionated. It's not like the kids have complained to us about his adventures right?" Lynn Sr. argued.

Rita huffed. "Lynn, don't you think you're being a little too defensive of him? Any time I criticise him, you're always the first to his defence."

Lynn Sr. started to look nervous. "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

The two sat in silence for a bit while Rita thought about what to say next. "Lynn...is this about your other dad?"

Lynn Sr.'s eyes widened before he sighed deeply as he looked downwards. Lynn Sr. only had vague memories of Rick from when he was very young. After Rick left, his mother remarried. He had known his step father for most of his life and more or less thought of him as his father. In fact, it was him that passed down the family van. Sadly, he passed away a couple years ago. "Ever since he left, I guess I felt like I was missing something." Lynn Sr. then got up. "Sorry, I just need some time to think about things." He then wandered off.

He ended up wandering into Rick's garage where Rick was working on something. "Uh, hey Dad." Lynn Sr. greeted.

Rick's head perked up slightly. "Oh, hey Lynn. Say could you pass me a screwdriver?"

"Um, I just wanted to ask, how are the kids doing?" Lynn Sr. asked.

Rick was slightly caught off guard. "Huh? Uh they seem pretty fine to me last time I checked Lynn. W-why do you ask?"

"No reason." Lynn Sr. replied before looking concerned. "I hope Luna doesn't come back sick. I heard there's a flu going around her school."

Rick then suddenly sat up straight. "Uh oh." He then got up and quickly got into his space cruiser, leaving behind a confused Lynn. Lynn Sr. then shrugged before poking around Rick's garage for a little bit.

To be continued


	7. L Is For Love Potion Part 2

Luan smiled softly when she spotted Benny. They were currently backstage in the theatre as Benny was simply reading through his lines. Benny had fair skin and dark brown curly hair. He wore a two-tone light blue and white button up shirt, dark gray jeans, and white sneakers.

Luan blushed as she approached him. "This is it!" Luan thought to herself before she greeted Benny. "Hey Benny."

"Oh, hey Luan." Benny greeted back.

Luan blushed again and started to act coy. "Benny, I've something to confess to you, but I just don't know how to say it." Luan then got out her puppet, Mr. Coconuts, and started to speak through it. "Then I'll say it for ya! This dame over here is pretty sweet on ya!" Luan faked a shocked look at the puppet. "Mr. Coconuts!" She spoke through the puppet again. "What? Someone's gotta say it."

Benny chuckled at the display. Like Luan, Benny had his own puppet, Mrs. Appleblossom, which he then got out. Benny had a lot of things in common with Luan actually, as they both shared similar tastes and had similar types of humour. It's what attracted Luan to Benny in the first place. Benny then spoke through his puppet. "Really? Benjamin rather fancies her as well."

"He does?" Luan spoke through the puppet again before going back to normal, blushing again. "I mean, you do?"

Benny also started to blush. "Well-" Benny stopped as he started to feel odd. His pupils dilated and he suddenly just dropped his puppet, causing it to break apart on the floor. He then grinned at Luan, slightly creeping her out.

"Benny, what's wrong? Are you ok?" Luan asked, starting to back off as Benny's odd behaviour was unnerving her.

"Yeah...I'm fine." Benny replied, still grinning. "I just need to ask, could you introduce me to your sister, Luna?"

...

It had become night time. Lincoln could hear the cool breeze as he ran outside the restaurant. He felt like slapping himself. He shouldn't have let his classmates get to him like that. He saw that Ronnie Anne had stopped as Bobby had come up to talk to her.

"Bobby, wait!" Lori called out as they both ran up to them. Bobby turned around, glaring at her, while Ronnie Anne faced the other way. "Look, Lincoln didn't mean it, he was just put on the spot and-"

Bobby put his hand up to stop her. "Save it! If he didn't mean it, then why did he say the same thing twice?"

Lori was starting to get frustrated. "Look this is stupid, this isn't our business, it's theirs! You can't just put our relationship on halt just because your sisters' upset!"

Bobby glared at Lori. "Oh. So I guess it doesn't matter who's upset as long as you're happy then, huh?"

"What? No!" Lori practically screeched. "That's not what I meant!"

"Can we please just go already?" Ronnie Anne demanded. Bobby turned to see her trying to scowl though she couldn't stop the tears coming. After seeing the state of his sister, Bobby went back to glaring at Lori.

"Lori, I'm sorry but..." Bobby turned around, trying to hide his own budding tears. "We're through!" He and Ronnie Anne started to walk off.

"Ronnie Anne, wait!" Lincoln called out. Ronnie Anne looked back for millisecond before continuing on.

Lori had a look of complete devastation on her face as she reached her hand out. "Bobby..." Lori whispered to herself as the only real boyfriend she ever had, one she had imagined a future with, walked away.

Meanwhile, Clyde had followed after them, ditching his disguise. Upon hearing Bobby break up with Lori, Clyde couldn't help but jump for joy. "Whoo-hoo! He's finally gone!"

This was poor timing on Clyde's part as Lori turned to him with a look of pure rage. "YOU!"

Clyde started to get nervous. "Uhh..."

"You ruined this date tonight, didn't you?!" Lori stomped towards Clyde to get into his face. "Listen you snivelling little creep. I will never date you! You're a weird, disgusting, obsessive little nerd. Do me a favour AND STAY AWAY FROM ME!"

"B-b-b.." Clyde stammered as he now looked devastated as his crush's words shattered his heart. He glanced at Lincoln, however, he had also now lost his patience.

"Clyde, I told you to not mess things up!" Lincoln scolded. "For once, could you just...not act so weird with my sister?"

"W-Weird?" Clyde's eyes were starting to water as he tried to scowl at Lincoln. "Dude! I thought we were bros?!"

Upon Clyde's reaction, Lincoln immediately regretted what he just said. "No wait, Clyde, I didn't mean-" Before Lincoln could continue, Clyde ran off. Lincoln stared off into the distance as his shoulders slumped. "I really screwed up tonight, didn't I?"

Lori's shoulders slumped as well as she started to regret unleashing her anger on the boy. "I think we both screwed up..." After a moment of silence, besides the still blowing wind, Lori then heard someone running. She and Lincoln turned around to see Bobby and Ronnie Anne running towards them with smiles on their face. "Bobby? M-Maybe he changed his mind!"

Lori had a hopeful look as the Santiago siblings ran up to them. "Lori, I need to ask you something." Bobby stated. Lincoln noticed both of their pupils had dilated.

"Yes?" Lori asked, now smiling at Bobby.

Bobby grinned. "Could you take me to see your sister, Luna?"

"WHAT?!" Lori screamed, shocked and angered that Bobby would even dare ask something like that.

Ronnie Anne then pushed Bobby aside. "Forget you! You should take me to see Luna!"

Lincoln has a baffled look on his face. "Uh, what is happening?"

...

"Rocky, wait." Lucy called out as Rocky made his way to the entrance. Rocky paused and held out his hands to get her to stop.

"Please just stop. I think I've played enough golf. I just wanna go home." Rocky stated.

"I'm sorry, I just...I..." Lucy didn't know what to say to Rocky. Seeing that Lucy didn't have anything to say, Rocky then walked off. Watching Rocky leave, Lucy felt a number of emotions. Embarrased, ashamed and after that, angry. Sick of wearing the uncomfortable shoes, she took them off and made her way back to Leni barefoot, carrying the shoes.

"What happened?" Leni asked once Lucy got back.

"He's gone." Lucy plainly replied.

Leni looked apologetic. "Aww, Lucy. I'm sorry. Maybe we pushed you too hard." Chaz then decided to stand aside to let the sisters talk in private.

Lucy sighed as she took off her headband and wiped away the lipstick. "Sigh. Rocky doesn't like me as myself, he doesn't like me as a regular, normal girl, he just doesn't like me. I shouldn't be surprised. My own sisters don't like me."

This caught Leni off guard. "What? Of course we like you."

Lucy dropped her shoes on the floor. "Then why were you so eager to do this?" Lucy gestured to what she was wearing.

"We were just trying to help." Leni answered honestly.

Lucy sneered, venom creeping into her voice. "Really? Because to me, it sounded to me like you guys were just waiting for an opportunity to do this. To make me 'perfect' and 'normal'. To 'improve' me. Isn't that right?"

Leni looked nervous. While she felt that what Lucy was saying wasn't true, she didn't know what to answer back. Leni then heard Chaz drop his golf club. Distracted, she looked over to see Chaz walking towards her while grinning. His pupils looked bigger than usual. "Leni, do you think you could take me to see your sister, Luna?"

"Huh, why do you want to see Luna?"

Chaz grinned. "Chaz like!"

...

Luna half-heartedly danced with Sam as she looked down in shame. As much as she wanted to enjoy herself, she was starting to feel more guilty than happy. Maybe this was a bad idea. None of this felt right to her. Sam then whispered something into Luna's ear. "Let's do it. Right here on the dance floor."

This made Luna blush furiously as she backed off from Sam. "S-Sam! You can't just say that!" Luna then bumped into someone. She turned around to see everyone in the room was staring at her, grinning with dilated pupils. Even the student rapping on stage was staring at her.

I love Luna

and I hope Luna loves me

I'd like to wrap my arms around her

and feel her inside me

"Oh no." Luna said before the students all tried to grab her. Luna managed to push past them and started to run towards the exit.

Rick then arrived to hold the door open for her. "Luna come on!" As she ran with him, Rick explained himself. "We got to get you out of here. You're not gonna believe this because it usually never happens, but I made a mistake. Come on, Luna."

The two ran out of the school and got into Rick's space cruiser. The students crowded around the cruiser but were unable to get in as Rick started to activate it. "I didn't realize when I gave you that serum that Sam had the flu you know, t-t-t-t-t-t-t-that might have been valuable information for me, Luna." Rick ranted.

Luna gave Rick a panicked look. "Grandpa, what's happening?"

"What does it look like?" Rick snarked as the cruiser started to take off. "T-t-t-the serum is piggybacking on the virus. It's gone airborne, Luna."

Luna's eyes widened. "Y-you can fix this right?"

Rick got out a vial of green liquid and activated something on the cruiser for Rick to poor it into before throwing the empty glass behind him. "It's gonna be fine, Luna, relax. I whipped up an antidote. It's based on praying-mantis DNA. You know, praying mantises are the exact opposite of voles, Luna. I mean, they-they mate once, and then they, you know, decapitate the partner. I mean, it's a whole ritual. It's really gruesome and totally opposite. There's no love at all. I-I-I basically mixed this with a more contagious flu virus. It should neutralize the whole thing, Luna. It'll all be over very shortly."

Rick then flew his cruiser over the crowd which then sprayed some green gas at them. "Uh, by the way, Luna, I know you didn't ask or anything, but I'm not interested in having sex with you. These serums, they don't work on anybody related to you genetically."

Luna sighed in relief before looking out the window. After Rick's cruiser finished spraying, the crowd paused for a moment. Luna then gasped in horror as everyone started to mutate into insectoid mantis monsters. "Okay, well, sometimes, science is more art than science, Luna. A lot of people don't get that." Rick remarked upon seeing the results.

Luna turned to him with a pleading look. "Grandpa, o-our family! We have to-"

"Already on it." Rick replied as he activated a radar on his space cruiser to show him the locations of the family members that Lisa had placed tracking devices on.

...

Back at the Loud house, Rita was watching a programme with Lily before it got interrupted. "We interrupt this programme with breaking news."

Rita's eyes then widened at the site of the insectoid newscasters. Lily also started to cry at the site of them.

"This just in, Luna Loud's whereabouts are still unknown." The female newscaster stated.

"What the?" Rita asked herself in shocked confusion.

The newscaster continued. "The only thing that is known is... how cute she is."

"I love her so much, I want to make love to her and then eat her head." The male newscaster stated.

"I love her more than you do, Harold!" The female newscaster suddenly shouted.

"You wish, you stupid bitch!" Harold and the other newscaster started fighting. Rita then changed the channel to something random. It was now showing footage in the middle east where to Rita's horror, the people on there were also insectoid monsters. She couldn't understand what they were saying but she could definitely hear them say Luna's name. Rita then heard banging on the door. She held onto Lily fearfully, the baby still crying, as she stared at the door.

A group of insectoid monsters broke the door down, causing Rita to scream in fear. "Where is Luna!" One of them demanded.

Rita hugged Lily in fear, closing her eyes as the insectoids approached her. However, before they could attack, one of them got shot down. Rita looked to see her husband standing there, aiming one of Rick's laser guns at the insectoids. "Get away from my wife you monsters!" Lynn Sr. shouted before he continued firing at them.

...

"What the hell is wrong with you?!" Lori shouted at Bobby.

"I'm sorry." Bobby kept grinning. "It's just that...your sister's really hot!

Lori made a disgusted sound and slapped Bobby. Both Lori and Lincoln then screamed as both Bobby and Ronnie Anne mutated into insectoid monsters. A bunch of them then bursted out of the buffet. Lori and Lincoln started to run for it. Rick then flew down with the door to his cruiser opened up. "Get in!" Rick called out. After Lori and Lincoln jumped in, Rick quickly closed the door and flew off.

After catching their breath, Lori shouted. "What the hell is happening?!"

"I'll explain once we've rescued the rest of your sisters." Rick replied as he kept flying.

...

Leni screamed in fear at the site of her boyfriend mutating into an insectoid monster. She then easily picked up Lucy and started running, screaming all the while. She was still screaming after Rick parked the cruiser in front of her, allowing her to jump in. Even after the cruiser flew off, she was still screaming.

"Please stop." Lucy asked.

Lori then grabbed her shoulders. "Leni calm down. Take some deep breathes."

Leni did just that before nervously pointing her finger out the window, shaking the whole time. "B-Bug!"

Lori hugged her sister. "I know. Grandpa Rick says he'll explain after he's saved the rest of our sisters." Lucy, meanwhile had curled up to herself.

...

Rick then flew over to the building where Lola was having her pageant. To everyone's relief, Lana, Lola and Lisa were already outside. The twins were fearfully hiding behind Lisa, who as luck would have it, had brought her own laser gun to defend herself against the mutants. A gang of insectoids tried to sneak up on the three from behind before Rick plowed into them. "Quick get in!" Rick called out. The three quickly piled in and started taking some deep breathes. The other siblings were starting to get uncomfortable.

"Getting kinda crowded in here." Lincoln remarked. Rick's cruiser wasn't exactly built for the whole family to get in.

"Don't worry, t-this thing'll still fly with all of you in it." Rick reassured as he set off for his next destination. "By the way Lisa, you're a lifesaver. Never would've found you if it weren't for your tracking devices." Lisa's eyes widened. Though she shouldn't be surprised, she still hadn't expected Rick to have gotten access to those.

...

"Get back you freaks!" Lynn shouted as she swung her bat at an insectoid's head. She had managed to defend herself against her former teammates with her bat alone before she noticed Rick's cruiser. She waved to get Rick's attention before the cruiser came down.

Once she got in, she wiped the sweat from her forehead. "Phew. What a workout." She then noticed her siblings staring at her. "Oh yeah. What the hell is happening?"

"Siblings first, questions later." Rick simply replied as he moved on.

...

Luan shrieked as Benny and everyone else that was there mutated into insectoid monsters. Without thinking, she dropped Mr. Coconuts, who then broke on the floor. It lied there alongside the broken Mrs. Appleblossom as the mutants started chasing after Luan. Luan had managed to escape the theatre and spotted Rick parking his cruiser. She ran towards it, only to trip over. She turned over to see an insectoid standing over her. She closed her eyes and put her arms up to try and protect herself.

Rick then shot at it with his laser gun before calling out to Luan. "Come on Luan! Hurry up!" Luan scambled to get up and managed to jump into the cruiser before it set off. Luan hugged herself shaking fearfully.

As her siblings tried to comfort her, Lori remarked. "That just leaves Lily and our parents."

"Uh, hate to break it to ya, but all the tracking devices are here." Rick informed them.

Everyone then turned to Lisa. Lisa got nervous. "I-I thought that since Lily spends a majority of her time with our parental units that I didn't see a need to apply one to her."

Lori rolled her eyes. "Doesn't matter, we know where they are. They're all back at home."

"Aight." Rick said before making his way there.

...

Once they reached the Loud house, the siblings all gasped in horror as they looked out the window. The house had been set on fire and was surrounded by dead mutants. Lola's eyes started to water. "D-does that mean they're..." She didn't want to finish that question.

"No wait!" Lynn shouted. "Look at all the dead monsters. Maybe they managed to fight back!"

Lincoln then noticed something. "The van's gone too. They might still be alive!"

"But how do we find them?" Lori asked.

"W-We don't have time to find them. We're just gonna have to fix this and hope for the best." Rick stated.

Lana then gasped as she realised something. "The pets! We have to go save them!"

Lana gave a pleading look to Rick. Rick turned to her and tried giving her a sympathetic look. "Sorry Lana but...I don't think they made it. A-And we can't check because going into a burning building is a really stupid idea."

"B-But..." Lana's shoulders slumped before she started to sob. Leni then went to hug her, allowing Lana to cry into her. Seeing Lana cry, Luna's eyes then started to water, knowing full well that this was her fault. Rick then flew towards the outskirts of town.

...

Rick had parked the cruiser in a forest. He had just about finished explaining the situation to the rest of his grandchildren. "So yeah, anyone related to Luna won't be infected. They-they'll still be normal."

Lincoln then realised something. "Wait, what about Pop-Pop?!"

...

"Get back ya monsters!" Rita's father, Albert shouted as he backed out of the Sunset Canyon Retirement Home, swinging a cane at the mutants. Albert was a burly man with white hair and a large tuft of his hair that sticks up, much like Lincoln's hair. He also has gray mustache and thick gray eyebrows as well. On his right forearm, he had a tattoo of an anchor. He wore a white button-up shirt, blue jeans with a black belt and orange suspenders. He wasn't having too much trouble defending himself against the insectoids. They may have been mutated but they were still old people. Albert managed to fight back long enough to get into his car and drive off.

...

"Look, we don't have time to go around looking for family, it'll be quicker to just fix the problem." Rick argued.

Upon hearing about Luna's part in this disaster, Lori admonished her. "A love potion? Seriously? Why would you do something like that?"

Luna sniffed as her eyes were watering. "I-I know. I shouldn't have done that. I didn't know what else to do! I'm so sorry!" Seeing the sorry state her sister was in, Lori decided to let up on her for now. If she was honest, her throat was starting to get sore from all the shouting she had done today.

Lincoln looked at his sisters. Lana was still crying while being comforted by Leni. Lola and Lisa were looking expectantly at Rick while he worked on something. Both of them looking like they were trying not to cry. Lynn was pacing around, glancing at Rick every now and then. Luan was sat down, hugging herself, looking like she was thinking about something. She still seemed shaken up from the insectoids attack.

Meanwhile, Lucy was sat far away from the rest of her sisters, staring down at a small flowing river. Lincoln decided to approach her and sit down next to her. Despite how dark it was, he was able to see her fine thanks to the moonlight reflecting from the river. "Are you okay, Lucy?" Lucy shook her head. Lincoln looked at her in concern. "What's wrong."

"Well, everyone's been turned into mutants. And I'm left with a family that hates me." Lucy bemoaned.

This caught Lincoln off guard. "Hate you? What made you think that?"

Lucy gestured to what she was still wearing. "See this? They don't like me the way I am. They wanted to make me 'perfect' and 'normal'. They always have. I'm probably just a creepy weirdo to them." Lincoln's eyes widened at the words weird. That was the last thing he called Clyde and Ronnie Anne before...

Lincoln put his hand on Lucy's shoulder. "Lucy, I don't think they meant it that way. They were just trying to help. Though they probably could've gone about it a little better." Lucy didn't respond. "Anyway, for the record, I like you the way you are. You're not weird. And let's be honest, there's no such thing as normal in this family."

Lucy gave a light smile. "Thank you, Lincoln." She then rested her head onto Lincoln's shoulder as the two watched the river.

After a while, Lincoln's eyes started watering as his thoughts drifted to Clyde and Ronnie Anne. He sighed. "I really messed up today."

Lucy's thoughts then drifted to Rocky. "Sigh. Me too."

Meanwhile, Rick was still working on a cure. "It's pretty wild how fast that spread." Rick remarked. "I've really outdone myself."

Lori glared at Rick. "Outdone yourself?! What is wrong with you?"

"Yeah, I don't know what I was thinking. Mantises are they opposite of voles? I mean, obviously, DNA's a little more complicated than that. You know what, though?" Rick smiled as he showed off a tube of purple liquid. "This right here's gonna do the trick, baby. It's koala mixed with rattlesnake, chimpanzee, cactus, shark, golden retriever, and just a smidge of dinosaur. Should add up to normal humanity."

The siblings glanced at Lisa who shrugged in response. "Wait, how does that add up to normal humanity?" Luna asked.

Rick frowned in annoyance. "What, Luna, you want me to show you my math? I'm sorry a-are you the scientist or are you the kid that used a love potion because she was too scared to just ask someone out?"

Luna flinched at Rick's scathing comment and backed off, hugging herself and facing away from everyone in shame. Lori glared at Rick after seeing Luna's reaction.

...

The Loud siblings frowned as they looked out the window of Rick's cruiser to see the state of Royal Woods. Buildings had been set on fire. Cars were strewn about, either tipped over, destroyed or crashed into buildings or other cars. Mantis-like monsters were still shambling about, hoping to find Luna.

"Take a good look down there, kids." Rick spoke. "Soak it in, because, you know, once I pull this lever, it's all back to normal."

"We literally don't care!" Lori snapped, not in the mood for Rick's flippant attitude. "Change everyone back now!"

"Geez, ok ok." Rick then pulled the lever. His cruiser then sprayed another cloud of green gas over the monsters. Once the gas cleared, the mutants has turned back to normal. Rick gave his grandchildren a smug look as they kept watching out the window. "W-What do we have here, kids? Looks like I was right and you were wrong, huh? I-I-I-I-I-I-I bet you all feel pretty stupid right about now, huh? I-I-I bet you feel like the smallest people on earth that you were doubting me about this whole thing."

Lori's eyes widened. "Rick, something's not right."

Rick took a sip from his flask. "Yeah, you. You're not right, ever."

Lori then grabbed Rick and pulled him towards the window. "No you idiot, look!"

The people started to look like they were in pain. To the Loud's horror, they started mutating again, this time into random flesh blobs that could best be described as cronenbergs. Rick frowned in annoyance. "Bet you're loving this, Lori. This must be the best day of your life. You get to be the mayor of I told you town." Rick took another sip from his flask as the Loud siblings watched in disturbed horror. Lori gritted her teeth and held her fist, trying to stop herself from punching Rick while he was driving.

...

Lynn Sr. squinted his eyes as he looked out of his van at the mutants, shambling around the street. "Hold on." He told Rita who was sat next to him. Lynn Sr. had managed to attach a number of large knives and weapons to the front of his van. He drove forward and plowed through the monsters before he got out and sliced at them with a machete while Rita got out and started firing Rick's laser gun at them. Meanwhile Lily was sat in the van, strapped to a booster seat. She tried to look out the window to see what was going on. A cronenberg then slammed itself against the window causing Lily to shreik and start crying before the mutant was then shot dead by her mother. After making sure all the mutants in the area were dead, Rita took Lily out of the van to comfort her.

Rita looked around before sighing. "There's no sign of the kids anywhere."

A thought then came to Lynn Sr. "Rick went out before all this happened. Maybe he managed to save all of them."

Rita scowled. "Old bastard."

"Rita!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed in shock. Usually, the only person that ever swore in their house was Rick.

"Well, it's true!" Rita admitted. "Who do you think caused all this in the first place? He probably just took our kids and whisked them away to another planet or something. It's them he cared about. Not us! Face it, Lynn, he's a selfish, irresponsible ass and we never should have let him live with us!"

Lynn Sr. sighed. "You're right, Rita. I should have realised it sooner."

The two then noticed a car driving up to them. Rita had a relieved smile once she saw who got out. "Dad!" Rita ran over to hug her father.

Albert hugged her back. "Rita, thank goodness you're okay! Where are the kids?"

Rita gave her father a saddened look. "We don't know. We think Rick may have taken them away somewhere."

Albert put his hands on her shoulders. "Well, if that is true then...at least they'll be safe with him right?"

Rita sighed. "I hope so."

"So what do we do now." Lynn Sr. asked.

Rita paused for a moment before turning to her husband. "I don't know..."

Lynn Sr., Rita, Lily and Albert then looked off into the distance, their future uncertain.

...

The early morning sun had started to peak. Rick had parked his cruiser on top of a rooftop, safe from the cronenbergs. As everyone sat down, unable to do much but stare at the disaster, Rick spoke. "Boy, I really cronenberged the world up, didn't I?"

"Cronenberg?" Lori asked, raising her eyebrow at Rick.

"What you don't know w-w-what a cronenberg is? Should I call them something that you can understand then? How, how about human pretzels? Does that work? Yeah that works." Lori scowled at Rick as he continued on. "We got a whole planet of human pretzels walking around down there. A-At least they're not in love with Luna anymore, though. That's a huge step in the right direction."

Luna sobbed. "It's all my fault. I caused this! I'm a terrible person!"

As Luna cried, Lori then got up and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Luna, I don't blame you for this."

"Y-You don't?" Luna sniffled.

"No. I mean yeah, trying to use a love potion was really bad and you shouldn't have done that." Lori admitted before she turned towards her grandfather. "But the person I blame for this is Rick."

Rick then got up. The rest of the siblings simply watched the argument. "Me? You-all I wanted Luna to do was hand me a screwdriver, Lori! She's the one who wanted to be-wanted me to buckle down and make up a... roofie-juice serum so she could roofie that poor girl at her school."

Luna looked down and closed her eyes in shame. However, Lori didn't let up. "Except you didn't have to make Luna a love potion. You should have made sure it couldn't infect anyone else. You should've made a proper cure and you should've been able to fix this!" Lori listed everything Rick should've done on her hand before she gestured to the cronenbergs. She then smiled at Rick sardonically. "And now it's the end of the world. Good job 'smartest man in the universe'." Lori clapped sarcastically. "You really showed everyone how much of a genius you really are."

Rick scowled angrily at Lori. There was a moment of tension as the two stared one another down. After a while, Rick spoke. "Yeah, well, lucky for you, I do have one emergency solution that I can use that'll kind of put everything back to normal, relatively speaking." Rick then went to the cruiser and activated a computer on it. "Just need to do a little bit of scouting."

...

Rick and the ten Loud children appeared in a flash in Rick's garage. Everything appeared to be normal apart from the sun setting, indicating that it was evening now. "It's a good thing I brought this time reversal machine with me." Rick remarked holding up a device.

Lori rolled her eyes but still had a relieved smile on her face. "Well, gotta admit, you really pulled a rabbit out of your hat this time."

Lincoln looked confused. "Wait, so if we're back in time, what about the us from this time?"

Rick shook his head. "Not that kind of time machine, Lincoln. This thing reverses time. W-we basically hit the rewind button in real life so the last day just didn't happen."

Lincoln still looked confused. "Then why are we all in the garage?"

Rick gave Lincoln an annoyed look. "I already told you Lincoln, you ask way too many questions." He then sat at his desk. "Now, what do you say, kids? Will any of you hand me a screwdriver so I can finish my ionic defibulizer?"

"Sure." Lincoln replied as he handed Rick a screwdriver.

"Thank you very much." Rick then worked on his machine while the siblings all crowded around to watch. "We got one screw turn...and two screw turns...and..."

Unfortunately, the machine exploded, killing Rick and the ten Loud children instantly. A portal then opened with Rick and the ten Loud children stepping out of it. "All right, kids, here we are." Rick stated. Upon seeing their own dead corpses, all the children started to scream and panic. Rick attempted to try and calm them down but to no avail. "Calm down! Look at me! Calm down, everyone!"

"Will you Louds keep it down!" Everyone heard their neighbor, Mr. Grouse, shout from next door. "Some of us are trying to sleep here!" This made all the Loud siblings shut up.

Rick took the moment of silence as an opportunity to explain the situation. "Alright, everyone shut up and listen to me! It's fine. Everything is fine. There's an infinite number of realities, kids, and in a few dozen of those, I got lucky and turned everything back to normal. I just had to find one of those realities in which we also happen to all die around this time. Now we can just slip into the place of our dead selves in this reality and everything will be fine. Now, help me with these bodies." Rick then picked up his own dead corpse.

"Oh my God..." Luna mumbled, deeply disturbed by what was happening.

"This is insane!" Lori exclaimed, finding it hard to believe any of this was actually happening at this point.

Rick didn't seem too bothered. "Look, I'll grab myself, you each grab yourselves, okay? I mean, t-t-t-that seems fair to me I mean, that seems like a fair way to divvy it up."

"Grandpa Rick, what about the reality we left behind?" Lincoln asked.

"What about the reality where Hitler cured cancer, Lincoln?" Rick snapped back. "The answer is don't think about it. Now, pick up your dead selves and come on. Haste makes waste. I-I-I don't suppose you've considered this detail, but obviously, if I hadn't screwed up as much as I did, we'd be these guys right now, so, you're welcome."

This fact didn't help the Loud siblings much as they each went to bury their dead selves in the backyard. Lucy was too disturbed to even offer her funeral services. In order to distract himself from what he was doing, Lincoln asked Rick a question. "So this universe is completely identical to ours right?"

"Oh yeah, more or less." Rick reassured. "This universe is about 99.8% identical to our own."

Lincoln looked concerned as did some of the other siblings upon hearing that. "So what's the 0.2% difference then?"

Rick waved his hand dismissively. "Probably small things. Like maybe one guy with blonde hair is now a brunette in this universe. Trust me, your lives have been identical here. Y-You lost nothing."

Once the Louds had finished and gone back into the house, Lana immediately ran upstairs while the rest of them walked into the living room. They had disturbed looks on their faces as they went to sit down and stare into space, thinking about what happened to them this past day.

Lana then came down with a relieved look on her face. "All the pets are still here!" She then looked down. "Charles is still gone though." However this did prove that their lives really had been identical up to now.

Upon seeing the looks on his grandchildren's faces, Rick couldn't help but feel a little guilty. "Look, I-I know this has been rough but there's a silver lining to all this."

Lori turned and scowled at Rick. "And what would that be Rick?"

"The me of this universe reversed time." Rick explained. "It's the day before valentines again. You can fix whatever you screwed up now."

The Loud siblings eyes widened at that. Particularly Lori's, Luna's, Lincoln's and Lucy's. Lincoln then ran upstairs to his room and pick up his walkie-talkie. "Clyde are you there?"

"What's up Lincoln?" Clyde replied.

Lincoln felt immense relief from hearing his friends' voice before he remembered what he was doing. "Clyde, I know what you're planning. Could you please not come to the buffet tomorrow?"

"What?" Clyde couldn't believe Lincoln had figured out his plan.

"Please Clyde. Tomorrow's really important for me. I really don't want anything ruining it." Lincoln explained.

Clyde sighed. Not much point in trying now that he had been caught. "Yeah, don't worry, you won't see me there tomorrow."

Lincoln smiled. "Thanks Clyde."

...

The next day, Lucy made her way downstairs. She was now back to her regular goth self as Lincoln had advised her to just try and be herself with Rocky. She saw Rocky sat down in the exact same place, playing with his baseball just like last time. Lucy took a deep breath to calm herself before she approached him. "Hi."

Rocky's eyes widened. "Oh hey."

"Sorry if I spooked you yesterday." Lucy apologised.

"No, it's ok." The two were silent for a moment before Rocky continued. "That fake blood you were making seemed kinda cool. I thought I'd try making it for myself back home."

This caught Lucy by surprise. "Wait, really?" Rocky nodded. "But yesterday, you kept running away. I thought I freaked you out."

"To be honest, I thought you were too cool for me and I couldn't think of anything to say, so I just ran." Rocky admitted.

Both of them looked away from each other and started to blush. Lucy smiled. "Hey, uh, my coffin collection's in the basement. Wanna check it out?"

Rocky smiled back. "Sure. That'd be really fun." He got up and then walked off with Lucy while she and Lincoln gave each other a thumbs up.

...

Later on, Lori and Lincoln once again arrived at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet. Upon seeing the Santiago siblings, Lori couldn't stop herself from running to Bobby and tackling him into a hug. "BOBBY!"

Bobby blushed. "Whoa babe-I mean Lori, what are you doing?"

Ronnie Anne then got caught off guard as Lincoln did the same to her. "Ronnie Anne!"

Ronnie Anne blushed but still tried to glare at Lincoln. "H-Hey, what do you think you're doing?"

Lincoln stopped hugging her and gave her an apologetic look. "Ronnie Anne, I'm so sorry for what I said yesterday. It was stupid and dumb and you'll never hear me say anything like that again. Can you forgive me?"

"Uhh..." Ronnie Anne hadn't expected Lincoln to beg for forgiveness this hard. She blushed and scratched the back of her head. "Yeah it's fine. Sorry about the sloppy joe by the way."

The two smiled at each other. Bobby seemed touched by the display. "Aww. I think I got you all wrong Lincoln."

Lori gave Bobby a hopeful look. "Does that mean...?"

Bobby then took Lori's hand. "Babe, this has been torture!"

"Oh, Bobby Boo-Boo Bear!" Lori then made out with Bobby. Lincoln made a disgusted sound and stuck his tongue out, earning a giggle from Ronnie Anne.

The two couples then had a mostly peaceful meal as they chatted together with Lincoln and Ronnie Anne poking fun at their older siblings every now and then.

However, soon the classmates that teased Lincoln eventually came. Lincoln took a deep breath as he prepared himself for what was to come.

"Well look at what we got here." One of the boys called out as he had noticed Lincoln. "Lincoln Loud's having a meal with Ronnie Anne. Looks like we were right, you are dating Ronnie Anne!" The students then started to laugh at Lincoln. Lincoln noticed Ronnie Anne scowling at the boys while she was flushing in embarrassment.

Lincoln then stood up. "Yeah, well I've a confession to make." He then turned to Ronnie Anne. "Ronnie Anne, you're really cool, and funny, and I've had an awesome time hanging out with you tonight." Ronnie Anne blushed at Lincoln's words. "But as my sister, Lori once told me, actions speak louder than words. So, instead of telling you how I feel about you, well..."

Lincoln then reached his hand out to Ronnie Anne. Once she took it, Lincoln pulled her towards him. To everyone's surprise, he then kissed her on the lips. Lori quietly squealed at the site as she took a picture with her phone while Bobby grinned. Lincoln then turned to his classmates. Seeing their shocked faces, he gave them a smug look. "What's wrong? Jealous because you guys can't get a girlfriend?"

One of the boys got mad. "O-Of course I could get a girlfriend!"

Another boy giggled. "Hehe. You wanna girlfriend!"

"Oh shut up!"

The boys then walked off, leaving Lincoln alone. Ronnie Anne smiled at Lincoln nervously. "So does this mean we're...?"

Lincoln blushed as he scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I guess it does."

...

At the valentines dance, Luna once again finished her performance and went down to see Sam. "Great performance Lunes!"

Luna smiled sadly. "Yeah. Shame neither of us could find a date though."

Sam then started to get nervous as she awkwardly looked away. "Yeah it's just...kinda hard when there aren't that many other lesbians at school."

Luna's eyes widened. "Say what now?"

Sam turned to her trying to be casual though it was obvious she was nervous admitting this. "Oh, did I never tell you? I'm gay."

Sam looked like she was bracing herself for the worst. Luna then grinned at her. "Dude, did I ever tell you that I was bi?"

Sam grinned in return.

...

Luan once again saw Benny at the theatre. She was slightly miffed at having to go through this song and dance again but at least this time, it'll end better. She decided to approach him the exact same way. "Hey Benny."

"Oh, hey Luan." Benny greeted back.

Luan started to act coy. "Benny, I've something to confess to you, but I just don't know how to say it." Luan then got out her puppet, Mr. Coconuts and started to speak through it. "Then I'll say it for ya! This dame over here is pretty sweet on ya!" Luan faked a shocked look at the puppet. "Mr. Coconuts!" She spoke through the puppet again. "What? Someone's gotta say it."

"Uh..." Benny then frowned and awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "Luan, I'm flattered that you feel that way about me but..." Luan felt her stomach drop. "...I'm sorry, I just don't feel the same way."

...

Back at the Loud house, later that evening, the Loud siblings, besides Luna and the sisters younger than Lucy, had come together in the living room along with Rick to discuss how their dates went. "So, it turned out that me and Rocky had more in common then I thought." Lucy finished.

Lincoln then smiled at her. "Looks like he liked you as you are after all then, huh?" Lucy smiled and lightly blushed.

"You guys aren't gonna believe what Lincoln did, it was so romantic." Lori said as she showed her siblings the picture of Lincoln and Ronnie Anne kissing. Apart from Luan, the sisters all squealed at the site.

Lincon rolled his eyes though he was still smiling. "Yeah, yeah, ok. I'll admit it. She's actually a pretty cool girl."

Leni turned to Lori. "So does this mean you and Bobby are back together?"

"Yep." Lori replied. Lori then noticed Luan looking depressed. "Luan what's wrong?"

Luan was silent for a moment before answering. "Benny rejected me."

Lori gave Luan a sympathetic look. "I'm sorry Luan. These things just happen you know?"

Luan shook her head. "No, you don't understand! Last time, he said yes. Why did he say no this time?" Luan turned to Rick, expecting an answer from him.

"Hmm. I guess a part of that 0.2% difference is that Benny doesn't have romantic feelings for you here." Rick hypothesised.

Luan gave Rick a desperate look. "But that's not fair! Can't you find a universe that's 100% the same?!"

Rick frowned. "W-What you think dimension hopping is as simple as that? We just got settled in and now you wanna leave and abandon everyone because you couldn't get a date? Besides, do you have any idea how lucky I was that I found a universe which was both identical and one where we happened to die so quick? It'd take ages to find another one that's 100% the same!"

Luan had a despairing look on her face. "But...but..."

Suddenly, the front door burst open as Luna came running in. "You're not gonna believe this dudes. Sam felt the exact same way about me as I did for her!"

This surprised the Loud siblings. "Really?" Lori asked, happy for her.

"Yeah!" Luna exclaimed, not noticing Luan starting to glare at her. "I can't believe this is happening. I'm really going out with Sam! This is awesome!"

"Yeah. Great. Wonderful."

Luna raised her eyebrow at Luan. "Dude, is something wrong?"

"Oh, nothing really." Luan answered sarcastically. "I think it's great that the person who used a love potion and destroyed the world gets to have a girlfriend anyway. Meanwhile, because of you, I lost out on dating Benny!" Luan pointed angrily at Luna.

Luna flinched and started to look guilty. "I-I'm sorry, I-I didn't-"

Luan sneered and interrupted her. "But no, good for you. You messed up and you got rewarded for it. I hope you're proud of yourself you-YOU DYKE!"

Everyone, including Rick, gasped, appalled at Luan's tasteless insult. Luan herself was shocked as she slapped her hands over her mouth just as soon as the words came out of it. Luna's eyes started to water. "Not cool dude. Not cool." Luna then ran off upstairs. Feeling ashamed of herself and embarrassed as her siblings gave her judgemental stares, Luan then ran off outside.

Lincoln sighed. "So much for things going back to normal."

"Sigh. It's like you said." Lucy remarked. "There's no such thing as normal in this house."


	8. For Bros About To Rock

The mood around the house was morose in the days that followed valentines day. Ever since Luna and Luan had their argument, the siblings felt it was best that the two stay away from each other for now. It was decided that Luna would swap with Leni and sleep in Lori's room while Leni slept in Luan's room. Despite fears of any conflicts coming from the new room arrangements, both Luna and Luan were mostly quiet and barely talked to anyone. Especially Luan, who hadn't cracked a joke in ages. Though after some of the Loud siblings thought about it, she hadn't cracked many jokes at all after she and Rick had come back from space after suddenly going missing for a day. This conflict concerned the Loud's parents but neither could really do anything about it since no one would explain why exactly they had fallen out. All they could gather was that Luna was somehow responsible for Luan getting rejected.

Rick opened the door to Luna's new room to see her alone, lying face down on her bed pillow. As much as Rick loathed to admit that he was wrong, he couldn't help but feel just slightly guilty about what happened. Rick swallowed his pride and then came in to greet her. "H-Hey Luna." Luna didn't answer back. He couldn't tell if she heard him at all as she still had her face in the pillow. Rick awkwardly scratched the back of his head. "Look, I'm uh...I'm sorry about what happened. I-I-I know I tried to pass the blame on to you but...Lori was right. It was my bad, really."

Luna turned her head slightly to look at Rick. She had a depressed look on her face. "S'alright, Grandpa dude. Wouldn't have happened in the first place if I didn't act like a creep."

Rick sighed. He sat on Luna's bed. "Look, I know how hard it is in your position. I-I'm actually a-a-well, I'm pan myself so..."

Luna raised her head slightly and looked at Rick with widened eyes. "Wait, really?"

"Oh yeah. So you know. You're not alone on that in this house." There was awkward silence for a moment before a thought occurred to Rick. "Hey, did I ever tell you about the time I was in a band?"

Luna sat up. It looked like she was starting to cheer up as she was starting to smile. "A band? Dude, how come you never told me?"

Rick shrugged. "Never came up." He then smiled as he reminisced on old times. "Yeah, we were The Flesh Curtains. Just me, Birdperson and Squanchy. Oh man, t-the things we'd do after shows-"

Before he could continue that thought, Luna interrupted him. She was grinning excitedly. "Dude, I gotta hear you play at some point."

Rick shrugged. "I-I mean sure, if you want. I was actually coming in here to ask if there's anything I could do to, you know, make things up to you so-"

Luna interrupted him again as she remembered something upon hearing what Rick said. "Wait, actually, I need to ask, what do you think of SMOOCH?"

...

"YEAAAAAH!"

Speaking of SMOOCH, Lincoln was watching a performance by the rock band on his laptop, pumping his fist to the song.

Take my advice and don't be a mooch

Grab life by the lips and give it a smooch!

WHOOOOO! Give it a smooch!"

Lincoln got out his walkie-talkie. "Clyde, SMOOCH is the coolest band ever!"

Clyde was currently doing the same thing as Lincoln as he answered. "Copy that! I'd totally give life a smooch if I wasn't saving my lips for Lori."

Lincoln made a gagging face to that comment before turning to the audience. "Clyde and I are going to see SMOOCH tonight, and not to make a big deal of it, but it's our FIRST CONCERT!" Lincoln threw his head back as he yelled the last part out. He went back to talking to Clyde. "Okay, Clyde, meet you at the ticket counter in T-minus one hour!"

"Ok, that'll give me time to work on my dance moves." Clyde then attempted to dance before tripping over himself. "Ugh!"

Lincoln then left his room. After he closed the door, he then jumped at the site of all his sisters, except for Luna and Luan, standing in front of him. "Yah!" His sisters then pushed him back into his room before closing the door and blocking it.

"Simmer down and listen up!" Lisa demanded, giving Lincoln a serious look along with her other sisters.

"We overheard your conversation, and we're here to warn you." Lori stated.

"Do not let Luna know that you're going to your first concert. She'll insist on going with you!" Lola warned.

"What? Why?" Lincoln asked.

"I don't know, 'cause she's nuts?" Lynn answered before folding her arms in annoyance. "But she's done it to all of us."

"Yeah. And when she goes, she gets way too excited and literally ruins everything. There was my first Boyz Will Be Boyz concert." Lori recalled when Luna, bored of the performance, tried to hype up the crowd which resulted in her knocking someone's drink onto a control panel, killing the lights and ruining the performance.

"And our first Blarney the Dinosaur concert." Lola recalled when Luna attempted to crowd surf despite the crowd being way to young to even attempt to carry her.

"And my first opera." Lisa recalled when Luna had gone up on stage and tried to do a stage dive, resulting in her landing on the orchestra.

After hearing his sisters' stories, Lincoln was starting to get worried. "Oh man. I can't let Luna find out about SMOOCH."

Lori gave Lincoln a confident look. "Don't worry. We can get you out without her knowing."

"Guys, I am not getting in one of Lucy's coffins again."

"That won't be necessary." Lisa then walked over to one of Lincoln's posters. She lifted it up to reveal an emergency cord behind it. She pulled it which caused an inflatable slide to appear outside of Lincoln's window. "Please keep your arms and legs inside at all times."

The sisters then moved in to help Lincoln out before he stopped them. "Wait! Are you sure Luna will want to get involved? I mean lately she's been kinda...you know?"

The sisters then had a look of concern as they were reminded of the state Luna had been in recently. Lori sighed. "Well, you can never be too sure so..." Lincoln's sisters then assisted Lincoln in getting out the window so he could slide down and leave without anyone noticing.

...

Lincoln and Clyde had both made it to the mall. Lincoln was just finishing explaining the situation to his friend as the two approached the line to buy the tickets. "It's all taken care of. Luna will never know about the concert."

Lincoln then heard a familiar voice come from the line. "Yo, bro! I saved you a spot in line!" Luna then signaled where she was with some rock on signs. To Lincoln's surprise, Rick was also there, signalling some rock on signs while sticking his tongue out. His hair was currently slicked back as he was now wearing a blue undershirt with a pair of black leather pants along with some spiked wristbands and a collar around his neck.

Lincoln approached the two apprehensively with Clyde following behind. "Luna? How did you know about the concert?"

Luna smiled, hyped up about joining her bro on his first concert. "You kiddin' me?! When it comes to music, I know all."

Lincoln then turned to Rick. "And why are you here?"

Rick was just as hyped as Luna. "The hell do you think I'm doing here, Lincoln? I'm here for some mother effin SMOOCH!" Rick raised his hand up in a rock on sign as he shouted to the line. "Can I get a hell yeah?"

The line cheered as some of them held up rock on signs in return. Clyde looked uncomfortable as he turned to Lincoln. "Kinda wished you told me your grandpa was so...foul mouthed."

Luna then grabbed Lincoln's shoulders and started to shake him. "So, are you ready for me to show you how to have the greatest first concert ever?"

"Well, I, uh..."

Luna didn't bother letting Lincoln answer. "AWESOME! First up, something has to be done about your duds." Luna pointed to what the two boys were wearing. Lincoln and Clyde glanced at each other before giving Luna a blank look. "Your threads, man." They still gave her a blank look. "Wow. Your clothes, dude."

"I think we're fine." Lincoln argued.

About five minutes later, Lincoln and Clyde were dressed up in SMOOCH attire. Both had face paint and lipstick on while Lincoln was wearing a long, black haired wig. "So much better." Luna stated, content with their appearance.

Lincoln started to freak out. "There's no zipper. What if I need to pee?"

"You'll be having too much fun to pee!" Luna stated confidently. "Now, let's see your rock pose." The two boys glanced at each other before Clyde got down on to the floor and curled up into a ball. "Uh...what's that?" Luna asked, confused.

"My rock pose." Clyde answered. "I'm igneous."

Luna shook her head. "No, dudes. I mean, throw up the goats, like this!" She threw her arms up with both hands doing the rock on sign. "YEAH!" She stopped and turned back to the boys. "You try."

"Yeah, uh..." Both boys then attempted to copy her but neither put any actual effort into it.

"We'll work on it later. Now, let's see your dance moves." Luna pointed to them.

"I can't dance." Clyde stated.

"What?! Everybody can dance, man!" Luna then started dancing herself. "You just have to feel the music and move yo booty!"

"Whoa!" As she was swaying her hips, she then accidentally bumped Lincoln, causing him to bump into a snowcone cart. This in turn, caused some ice to drop out of the cart and fall down into Lincoln's pants, causing him to move around like crazy from the frost.

Luna thought he was simply dancing. "That's it, Lincoln!" She then got out her accoustic guitar. "Come on, everybody. Pre-show sing along! Sing it with me!"

Lincoln quickly got the ice out of his pants before he ran up to Luna with his hands held out. "Luna! Please, just stop!"

"W-What's wrong? I'm just trying to make your first concert unforgettable, bro." Luna was starting to look sheepish.

Lincoln was looking frustrated. "All you're doing is embarrassing me! Our sisters warned me about you."

Luna was starting to shrink back. "What are you talking about?"

"They said you ruined all their first concerts, just like you're ruining mine now." Lincoln ranted, throwing his arms up for emphasis.

"...I see." Luna closed her eyes and lowered her head in shame. "I'm sorry bro. Seems like ruining things is all I'm good at these days.

Seeing Luna return to the depressive state she had been in recently, Lincoln started to regret snapping at her. "Wait, no, I shouldn't have-"

Luna held out her hand out to stop him. "No, you're right. You'd have a better time without me there. I'll just leave you be." She then raised her voice for the line. "Goodnight, Royal Woods Mall. Luna Loud has left the building..." She made her way out of the mall, dragging her guitar behind her on the floor.

Rick looked concerned as he watched Luna leave. He then gave Lincoln a pointed look. "Geez, what the hell, Lincoln. She was just trying to get you to have fun is all. Y-You didn't need to act like that!"

"I-I didn't mean-hey wait!" Lincoln raised his eyebrow at Rick. "So then why aren't you going after her?"

Rick then gestured to what he was wearing. "Because I didn't dress myself up like this just to not get tickets, Lincoln!" Rick left out the part where he was planning to buy a ticket for Luna anyway.

Both of them then noticed Clyde was back on the floor, curled up into a ball again. "Clyde, what are you doing?" Lincoln asked.

"My rock pose." Clyde answered. "I don't like confrontations."

The three then noticed the line moving without them. "Clyde! Line's moving!" Lincoln exclaimed before the three then tried to get back in line.

"Hey! No cuts, kid!" A man called out, stopping them from getting in front of them.

"But that was our spot!" Lincoln argued.

Rick got mad at the man. "Hey, you do realise we were standing in front of you a minute ago right?"

"Too bad, you shouldn't have moved then." The man replied.

Rick then flipped the man off. "Yeah well, up yours pal!"

The three then resigned themselves to waiting in the back of line. Eventually, it was their turn to get to the ticket counter.

"WE MADE IT!" Lincoln shouted in relief.

"Sorry, boys. SMOOCH is officially sold out." The vendor stated before putting up a sold out sign and closing the booth.

"Nooooooooo!" Lincoln and Clyde both shouted dramatically.

Lincoln became downtrodden. "I can't believe we didn't get SMOOCH tickets."

Rick slammed his fist on the counter. "The hell is this? W-We're the last customers and you just happened to be sold out now? What is this bullshit?"

As Rick ranted, the two boys then heard a man in a trench coat whisper to them from around a corner. "Psst, hey, kid. Did I hear you say you needed SMOOCH tickets?" The man held out a pair of tickets.

The boys ran up to him looking hopeful. "Yes! Two, please!" Lincoln asked.

The two then gave the man their money before receiving their tickets.

"WE'RE IN!" Lincoln and Clyde proclaimed, raising their arms and making rock on signs before both of them were handcuffed.

"You're in, alright. Incarcerated!" The man said, pointing at them.

"Are those good seats?" Clyde asked, oblivious to what was happening.

The man then revealed a mall cop badge. "Buying scalped tickets is illegal. Let's go, hooligans."

Rick had overheard what was happening and ran up to the mall cop. "Hey, hey, what the hell's happening here? Did you just arrest two kids after baiting them with tickets?"

"So you were supposed to be supervising them while they were doing illegal activity?" The mall cop accused.

Rick gave the mall cop a confused look. "...what?"

...

The three of them were now locked up in the mall's jail. Lincoln and Clyde were now back in their normal attire. "For the record, this mall sucks." Rick stated before going into a corner where it looked like he was working on something.

"Well, might as well practice my dancing." Clyde said before poorly attempting to dance again.

The three were also in a cell with their neighbour, Scoots. An elderly woman with short gray hair, wearing a turquoise hat with a pink flower on it, a white sweater, beige pants, white sneakers, and black sunglasses. She was riding around on a red scooter. "Oh, give it up, kid. My hip can pop and lock better than you." Scoots said to Clyde.

"Pipe down, Scoots, or I'll add disorderly conduct to your speeding charge." The overweight mall cop captain with a grey moustache watching over the cell warned her.

Clyde gave up. "I still can't dance, Lincoln."

"What does it matter?" Lincoln's shoulders slumped. "We're not going to the concert, anyway."

Lincoln then heard a familiar voice. "Yo, little Loud! What are you doing here?"

Lincoln turned towards the voice. "Bobby? What are you doing here?"

Bobby was currently dressed up in uniform, holding a bucket of fried chicken. "This is my new job. Lori loves a man in uniform, plus, I'm learning a ton about police work." Bobby then walked over to the mall cop captain's desk and handed him the bucket. "Here are those chicken samples you wanted from the food court, captain."

"Great work, Santiago. Now, go do a stakeout at Wok of Art. I think they're giving out egg rolls." The captain ordered.

Bobby tipped his cap. "Right away, boss." Bobby left as the captain then helped himself to the chicken.

A while later, the captain then called out. "Boys, your mom's here!"

"What?" Lincoln and Clyde both exclaimed, surprised at who they saw. It wasn't their mom, it was Luna wearing a disguise of Lincoln's mother.

Luna tried doing an impression of her mom. "Oh, my babies!" Luna then winked at the two boys.

Both of them came up to the front of the cell. "Luna? I mean, Mom?"

Luna came up to them to whisper to them. "You're lucky I answered the phone when the fuzz called, bro." She resumed impersonating her mom. "Officer, I'll take it from here."

The captain got out his keys. "Yes, ma'am. Right away, ma'am."

Bobby then returned, holding a plate of steaks. "Your steaks, captain."

Luna got nervous and looked away, hoping Bobby wouldn't recognise her. "What the heck are you talking about? Where are my egg rolls, son?" The captain asked, irritated.

"You said to do a 'steak-out', so-" Bobby then noticed Luna. "Hey, Luna!"

"You know their mother?" The captain asked.

"That's not their mother. That's his sister. Nice wig, by the way." Bobby complimented.

"WIG?!" The captain snapped. Luna giggled nervously in response.

"Oh, snap." Scoots remarked.

...

Luna, no longer wearing her disguise, was now in the cell, sitting in between Lincoln and Clyde. Luna sighed. "Looks like I messed up again."

"I can't believe you came back for us." Lincoln remarked.

Luna closed her eyes. "Wasn't much point though was there. I just ruined things as usual. Sorry for going crazy earlier by the way. I thought maybe that if I tried to give you an awesome first concert, maybe it'd make up for the horrible thing I did.

"Horrible thing?" Clyde asked.

Lincoln then realised Clyde really shouldn't hear this. "Oh, sorry Clyde. This is kind of a private family matter so..."

"I hear you loud and clear." Clyde then got up and walked up to a corner. He then plugged his ears in with his fingers.

Lincoln then noticed Scoots. "Umm..."

"Hey, I ain't no snitch! I don't care what you've done." Scoots told him.

Lincoln shrugged before putting a hand on Luna's shoulders. "Luna, you know none of us hold a grudge over what happened right?"

"Luan does." Luna argued as she lowered her head. "Not that I can blame her. If I'm honest, I don't really deserve Sam."

Lincoln sighed. "I know Luan's still upset but I think she'll get over it eventually. It's like Grandpa Rick said. None of us really lost anything. As far as this world and Sam are concerned, you never did anything. And you've already realised what you did was wrong so why keep beating yourself up over it?"

Luna raised her head and looked at Lincoln. She wasn't entirely convinced she should forgive herself just yet but after what Lincoln said, she decided it'd be best not to let it get her down anymore. At least for now. She smiled softly. "Thanks bro. You know, I've been thinking about what you said. And you and the girls are right. I do get a little crazy when it comes to first concerts."

"Why are they so important to you?" Lincoln asked.

"'Cause my first rock show...changed my life." Luna confessed as she recalled the night of her first concert.

...

In the summer of Luna's seventh grade, a younger Luna, unsure of the kind of person she wanted to be, sat in the audience for 'The Gimme Swelter Tour', waiting for Mick Swagger and his band to perform. Back then, Luna had longer hair and wore a purple dress with white earrings. She wasn't too sure how she'd feel about this concert. Up until then, she had only played classical music and had only decided to go due to a suggestion from her parents. Though admittedly, she was a little curious anyway.

Eventually, Mick Swagger took to the stage and started to sing.

It was a hot June night

When she saw the light

Luna found her self tapping her feet to the song. She was surprised to find that she was getting into it.

Up until then she didn't know what was right

She showed up at the show

All confused and alone

She had no idea what was about to unfold

TRANSFORMATION

To Luna, listening to these lyrics made her feel like Mick Swagger was talking directly to her. Nothing she had heard before got to her in the way this song did.

A citizen of the rock and roll nation

Transformation

Total mutation

It all started to become clear for Luna. It was in that moment that she finally realised who she was and who she wanted to be. Luna Loud. "STAGE DIVE!" Luna shouted as she raised her hands to do rock signs and jumped into the crowd. She felt blessed as the crowd carried her off. The following day, Luna got a haircut, got some new threads, bought a guitar and the rest was history.

...

Back in the present, Lincoln looked at her in amazement. "Wow. I had no idea." Clyde had also come back to listen to the story as he was currently sitting next to Luna again.

Rick had also come up to listen to Luna's story. He whistled. "I'll say."

"I know it's only rock and roll, but I like it." Luna admitted.

"Hey, uh, by the way, I called in a couple friends to help bail us out." Rick told them.

Lincoln started to get worried. "Uh, what kind of friends?"

Rick smiled. "Oh, you'll see."

Everyone then heard a door open. The captain's eyes widened when he saw the two people standing there. One of them was a short orange cat-person with a tiny blue nose, a dark brown goatee, messy fur and whiskers. He has a naked tail with a brown tuft of hair on its tip. The other was a tall humanoid with bird-like features. He had two giant eagle wings with gray on the ends, that drape down along his back like a cape. He also wore yellow gloves, a red skirt, and yellow boots. He had a green, feathery helmet with white polka dots.

"Uhh..." The captain gaped at the two aliens. The bird like one then came up to the captain and delivered a swift karate chop to his head, knocking him out instantly. He then took the keys from him.

"He-hey, Squanchy! Birdperson! How's it going?" Rick greeted the two.

"Hey! What the squanch is up with you, Rick?" Squanchy greeted Rick back.

"Are you injured, Rick?" Birdperson asked monotonously.

"Nah, we're good." Rick replied.

Birdperson then unlocked the door to the cell. As soon as it was open, Scoots immediately drove off. "Adios."

The kids then exited the cell. Clyde's jaw had dropped at the site of them. Lincoln had previously told Clyde about their adventures with Rick though Clyde didn't really believe him. Seeing two aliens in person though, had blown Clyde's mind.

Meanwhile, Lincoln and Luna looked at the two aliens in amazement. Especially Birdperson. "Wow, are you some kind of superhero?" Lincoln asked.

"I have previously been referred to as such before, yes." Birdperson answered. "You must be Lincoln and Luna. Rick has told me many positive things about you."

This surprised the siblings. "Really?" Lincoln asked.

"Yes. He-"

Before Birdperson could continue, he was interrupted by Squanchy, who had been rummaging through the captain's desk. "Hey, this guy's got some tickets to a concert." He held up six tickets to the SMOOCH concert. His eyes then widened as he spotted something else in the desk. "Oooooh." Rick then closed the desk before shaking his head at Squanchy.

"Six tickets? That's enough for all of us to see the show!" Lincoln announced.

Luna gave Lincoln a surprised look. "You sure you want me to come too, little brother?"

"It wouldn't be a first concert without Luna Loud." Luna smiled at that. "I'm sorry I said all those things in the ticket line."

Luna put her hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "It's cool, little bro. And don't worry. I promise to be on my best behave."

Rick then turned to his friends. "How about you guys?"

"Hell yeah, I'm down to squanch!" Squanchy replied.

Birdperson nodded. "I suppose it could be enjoyable."

"Uh, what about him?" Clyde asked, pointing towards the captain.

Rick shrugged. "Eh. Nothing a bit of memory wiping can't fix."

"Uhh..." Everyone then turned to see Bobby holding a shrimp platter, gaping at the site before him.

...

After Rick had dealt with Bobby, the group had made it to the SMOOCH concert. All of them were sat at the back row. Rick and Squanchy were stood up, rocking out while Birdperson was sat down, simply watching quietly. Meanwhile, Lincoln, Luna and Clyde were struggling to see past the other audience members. "I can't see a thing. Ugh. I thought my first concert was gonna be unforgettable." Lincoln lamented.

"It could be..." Luna looked down. "But I don't wanna interfere."

"No! Please! Interfere!" Lincoln pleaded.

Luna smirked. "Okay. First up, we gotta get to the front." She pointed towards where the band were playing.

Lincoln looked worried. "Whoa! I can't cut in front of all these people!"

"That's why they invented Crowd Surfing!"

"What?" Lincoln and Clyde both asked before Luna picked both of them up and tossed them over the crowd who then carried both of them towards the stage.

"WOO! THIS IS AWESOME!" Lincoln hollered.

Clyde wasn't quite as excited. "Careful, guys. Cradle the neck."

Once they reached the front, they were surprised to see Luna was already there. "Enjoy the ride, dudes?"

"Whoa! How did you get up here so fast?" Lincoln asked.

Luna folded her arms. "I have my ways. Now come on. Pose it like you chose it!" The three then raised their arms to make rock on signals as they jammed to the music. After noticing the three of them, the lead singer offered his hand to them, allowing them to join him on stage to rock out.

Lincoln turned to the audience while still rocking out. "Boy, did my sisters have it wrong about Luna. She's not nuts at all. She's just really passionate about the thing she loves. And in the words of my favorite band, sometimes you gotta..." Lincoln then sang along with the song. "grab life by the lips and give it a smooch!"

Luna put her hands on her hips with a satisfied look on her face. "That's my bro!"

"THANKS FOR MAKING MY FIRST CONCERT UNFORGETTABLE, LUNA!" Lincoln shouted.

Both of them then posed together. "ROCK AND ROLL!"

"WUBBA LUBBA DUB DUB!" Rick shouted as he, along with Squanchy and Birdperson, were crowdsurfing.


	9. April Fools Drools, Interdimensional Cable Rules!

It was late evening on the day before April Fools. Rick was working on something in the garage when Lynn Sr. and Rita came in. "Uh, h-hey Dad." Lynn Sr. greeted.

Rick turned to face them. Both of them had nervous smiles on their faces. "Alright, what do you want?" Rick asked.

"Well, as you know, tomorrow is April Fools day..." Rita explained.

"And?"

Lynn Sr. continued to explain. "Well, every year, Luan gets a little...over the top with her pranks. So, to escape the prank apocalypse this year, Lisa's built a bunker big enough for the whole family stay in and enough food so that we don't go hungry. Only problem is, we've not got any kind of entertainment so we were wondering if you'd help us with that." Both of them then gave Rick a pleading grin.

Rick gave both of them a pointed look. "Lemme get this straight, you're going to stay in a bunker to avoid your daughter's April fools day pranks?"

Both of them stopped grinning, instead putting on grimaces. "You don't understand!" Lynn Sr. explained, getting more and more hysterical as he went on. "You haven't lived here before to see it! She's a pranking monster! Over the past few years, she's tacked all the furniture to the ceiling, filled the house with chickens, wrapped the whole house with wrapping paper, trapped everyone in gelatine; she even shaved all the pets! And those are just a couple examples!"

Rick looked slightly disturbed at the last example before giving the two a deadpan look. "Oooookay. Have you tried, I don't know, asserting your authority as her parents and telling her to stop?"

"She doesn't listen!" Rita explained. "Any time someone tells her to stop, she takes it as a challenge and pranks them harder!"

Rick groaned in annoyance. "Boy, you sure are parents of the year huh? Alright, where's this bunker?"

The Loud parents led Rick to the bunker behind the house and let him inside. "So, is there anything you can do so that everyone won't be bored to death?" Lynn Sr. asked.

Rick looked around for a moment. "Alright, give me a minute." Rick then left and went back into the house. He soon came back with the TV and the cable box. After setting up the TV, he took apart the cable box and started doing some work on it, plugging in something connected to a pink crystal.

"Um, what is that?" Rita asked.

"Crystallised zanthonite. I-It's a bit too complicated to explain." Rick answered as he finished working on the cable box. He then reconnected the box to the TV before turning it on. "The important thing is that I just upgraded our cable package with programming from every conceivable reality."

Both Rita and Lynn Sr. looked shocked and confused at this. "Wait, so we can watch anything now?" Rita asked.

"Literally anything in the multiverse Rita. Like how about a show from a world where man evolved from corn?"

Rick used the remote to flip to a channel airing an action show where two corn men were facing off. The corn wearing a suit had a gun pointed to the other corn. "We're not so different. We're both corn of action."

The other corn man had a gun taped to his back. "Yeah... But one of us is dead corn!" He then pulled the gun off his back and shot the other corn dead.

Both Rita and Lynn Sr. looked at the TV in confusion. "Um...is that it?" Lynn Sr. asked.

"Lynn, you don't get it. This is infinite TV, from infinite universes. Look." Rick then flipped the channel again to a guy eating something from a bowl.

"This shit is delicious." The man said.

"A movie about a guy eating shit." Rick changed the channel again to program with old people fighting each other. "A violent Antiques Show."

"Is there anything that's a bit more family friendly?" Rita asked.

Rick gave Rita an annoyed look. "Of course there is! What part of infinite didn't you understand? It's just your responsibility to find that stuff. 'Course I know you like to shirk responsibility and let your daughter run the house for the day but-"

Rita gave Rick an irritated look as she interrupted him. "Ok, Rick, we get it."

Rick then made his way out of the bunker before Lynn Sr. called to him. "Uh, just so you know, there's enough space and food in here for you as well."

Rick turned, glaring at him. "Look, I've seen unimaginably horrifying stuff around the universe. I couldn't even begin to describe to you what I've seen. I-I-I-I'm not gonna be scared of a fourteen year old girl with a couple of pranks."

"Well. Can't say we didn't warn you." Lynn Sr. shrugged as Rick left the bunker.

...

Meanwhile, the Loud siblings besides Luan had all met up in the basement. Lincoln started to speak. "Ok, we're all here? Good! So, about Luan-"

"Shh! She's got ears everywhere!" Lola interrupted him before turning the washing machine on. "I saw this in a mob movie once. She won't hear us over the noise."

Lincoln continued. "As we all know, April fools day is tomorrow. Though, to be honest, I have no clue what Luan is planning this year."

"Maybe she doesn't have anything planned this year." Lori suggested. "I mean, considering she's literally stopped telling jokes altogether, maybe she won't bother with pranks either."

"Or she's planning something worse." Lucy added. "Every other year, she's done it for a joke. Imagine what she'd do out of spite."

The rest of the siblings shuddered at that. After noticing Luna looking downcast, Lincoln continued. "Well, if she is planning something, then maybe we can stop her. If we combine forces, we can prevent Luan from setting up any pranks in the first place."

"Uhhh, how exactly are we gonna do that?" Lynn asked, tilting her head.

Lincoln smiled. "Let me tell you my plan."

"Better make it snappy. We're almost done with the spin cycle." Lisa gestured to the washing machine.

...

After explaining the plan, the Loud siblings made their way to Luan's room. Upon entering, the siblings noticed the lights were off, giving the room an ominous feel. A jester styled swivel chair was in the centre of the room. The chair then spun around revealing Luan, sat on the chair as if it was her throne. She glared at her siblings. "What?"

There was a moment of silence as the siblings stared at her, unnerved. It seemed that Luan had changed her appearance a bit. Her hair had been let down, leaving it messy, and she was now wearing a yellow jacket which had multiple pockets on it. Finally, Lincoln broke the silence and gave Luan a nervous smile. "Uh, hey Luan. We were just wondering if maybe you could...skip out on pranksgiving this year?"

Luan stared at Lincoln for a moment before breaking out into laughter. "Oh Lincoln. You know the April Fools Rules. And you know I don't break tradition. Besides, I feel like outdoing myself this year. Tomorrow's gonna be the biggest prankageddon I ever pulled. And there's no way I want any of you to miss it."

Luan gave her siblings a sinister grin. There was another moment of uncomfortable silence before Lola spoke. "Well, at least we know where we stand. GET HER!"

The next thing Luan knew, she was locked up in a small cage wrapped in chains while all her fingers were stuck in Chinese finger traps. "LET ME OUT OF HERE!" An enraged Luan screamed.

"Sorry Luan," Lincoln apologised. "But we're sick of you unleashing a prank apocalypse every year. We aren't letting you out until April 2nd!"

Luan started to chuckle. Lori raised an eyebrow at her. "What's so funny?"

"I just hope you're all ready for the worst pranking ever!" Luan said before erupting in insane laughter. The siblings then started to leave the room, feeling unnerved. Luna especially felt nervous as she noticed that Luan was staring directly at her.

After exiting the room and shutting the door, Lynn asked. "Ok, she's obviously gonna try to escape. What do we do if she does?"

"Don't worry, I have a backup plan." Lincoln said before turning to Lana. "Lana, I'm gonna need some lumber. I'm going to board up my room so Luan can't get in no matter what. That way, if Luan does escape, we'll have an escape route."

"Nice thinking, Lincoln. Well, looks like all we can do now is go to bed and see how this plays out." Lori said before everyone went to their rooms to go to sleep. Leni went back to her old room as she didn't feel comfortable sleeping in the same room as Luan.

...

The next morning, the siblings entered Luan's room only to start panicking. Their fear of Luan escaping had come true as there was now a massive hole in the cage. Lola clasped her hands. "We're doomed! Luan escaped, and now she's gonna be mad!"

"How could this have happened?!" Lincoln asked.

"She's a black magic woman, dude!" Luna answered.

Lincoln picked up a loose chain. "I gotta get my money back for these." Unfortunately, pulling the chain caused a bucket full of honey to spill on him, followed by a blast of feathers. "Ok, time to escape."

The siblings then all ran to Lincoln's room. Lincoln pulled the emergency cord behind his poster, inflating the slide outside his window. The Loud siblings then climbed out the window to slide down it. "Hey, how come nobody told me about this?" Luna asked as she slid down.

...

Meanwhile, in the garage, Rick awoke from sleeping at his desk. Which was weird when Rick thought about it as he usually doesn't bother going to sleep. Rick's eyes widened as he looked around the garage. "What the hell?" The garage was completely empty. Everything had been taken out of it apart from his cruiser. Rick then noticed his safe was revealed. Rick went over to type into the keypad. Upon opening the safe, a boxing glove shot out, punching him in the groin. "GAH, SON OF A!" Upon holding on to his parts, Rick then realised this probably had something to do with Luan. He thought about getting into his cruiser before realising Luan had probably booby trapped that too. With not much choice, he decided to make his way to the bunker.

Rick knocked on the bunker door. "Who is it?" Lynn Sr. asked.

"It's me, Lynn." An irritated Rick answered. The bunker door opened and Rick climbed down into it, closing the door behind him. Rick saw that the rest of the family were already in there, with Lincoln trying to clean honey and feathers off of him. "W-What the hell's going on here? Luan's stolen everything from the garage. Even the stuff she shouldn't even know about are gone?"

"Didn't you know?" Lori asked. "Luan has cameras all over the house."

"Yeah, not much stays secret from her." Lincoln added. "Luan is an evil pranking genius. It's not that surprising that she'd probably plan around you as well."

Rick facepalmed. "Of course she is. I-I really should have seen this coming. I mean, she's related to me after all."

"We did try to warn you Rick." Rita remarked.

"Can't you do anything to stop her Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln asked.

Rick shrugged. "Hey, if your own parents are too cowardly to discipline their own daughter, why should I bother?"

"Hey!" Both the Loud parents shouted.

"What? I'm not exactly wrong, am I?"

"By the way Grandpa Rick, what is this?" Lynn asked pointing to the TV.

The TV was showing a man in a trench coat. "And now, another Quick Mystery."

It then cut to a police officer standing over a dead body. "I just want to know who could've done something like this. It's a travesty!"

A man holding a knife and a paper walked up to him. "I did. See this knife and all the blood on it? Here's my fingerprints."

It then cut to the man in court. "Guilty! I sentence you to life in prison." Said the Judge.

It cut to the man being thrown in prison before cutting back to the man in the trench coat. "Here's another Quick Mystery."

It then cut to a man standing beside a bed with a dead body on it. "My mother's dead!"

Another man with an eye patch walked in holding a bowling pin and a pair of handcuffs. "And I killed her. Here's the weapon. And cuff me, thank you very much."

It cut to the courtroom again. "Guilty! Sentenced to murder." The Judge ordered.

It cut to the man being killed by the electric chair before cutting back to the man in the trench coat. "Here's anothe-"

"I'm the killer!" A man next to him interrupted before shooting himself.

"Wow, that one was really quick, wasn't it?"

"Geez, this stuff isn't as fun when there's no tension." Lola remarked.

"Alright, this is interdimensional cable." Rick finally answered. "It gives you every kind of programming from every conceivable reality."

The siblings' eyes widened in wonderment at Rick's answer. Apart from Leni who just looked confused. "Fascinating..." Lisa said.

"Ooh, let me try!" Lori then grabbed the remote to change the channel.

The TV now showed a commercial with a man with literal ants in his eyes walking around an electronics store. "I'm Ants-In-My-Eyes Johnson, Here at Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson's Electronics. I mean, there's so many ants in my eyes! And there's so many TVs, microwaves, radios I think, I can't-I'm not 100% sure what we have here in stock, because I can't see anything. Our prices, I hope, aren't too low! Check out this refrigerator! Only 200! What about this microwave? Only 100! That's fair!"

The man didn't seem to notice people stealing things from the store. "I'm Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson! Everything's black, I can't see a thing!"

Ants-in-My-Eyes Johnson then accidentally set himself on fire. "And also I can't feel anything either-did I mention that? But that's not as catchy as having ants in your eyes. So that always goes, you know, off by the wayside. I can't feel. It's a very rare disease. All my-All my nerves, they don't allow for the sensation of touch. So I never know what's going on. Am I standing? Sitting? I don't know."

"Cool!" Lana said, grinning. "You can survive being set on fire by having ants in your eyes?"

"No, you cannot." Rita said before grabbing the remote to change the channel again.

The TV was now showing a car commercial with a narrator speaking over it. "It's a 45 horsepower with anti-lock brakes, and it's the official car of Mr. Sneezy 3D. It's the brand-new Sneezy XL." Strangely enough, the car was now driving over a rocky terrain. "The horn when you honk it makes a sneeze noise." The man in the car honked the horn which seemed to actually make the car sneeze. "It's polite, it's right." The car then drove off a cliff into the ocean. "And it's Sneezy Deezy Mc Deluxe."

It then showed the car spinning out of control before the short man inside of it got out. "Oh, I'm Mr. Sneezy!" Mr. Sneezy then sneezed.

"What a polite car. I want one of those!" Leni remarked, pointing at the screen.

"What's so polite about it? All it did was sneeze!" Lola argued.

Lisa gave the TV a critical look. "I fail to see how the sound of involuntary expulsion of air due to nostril irritation would benefit this vehicle."

"Don't question it Lisa." Rick advised. "Infinite realities. What doesn't make sense here could make total sense in that universe."

Everyone then jumped as they heard some loud banging from the bunker door. "Hey, what are you all doing in there? You're missing out on April Fools." Luan could be heard laughing.

"Get lost, Luan! None of us are falling for your pranks this year!" Lori shouted.

"Aww, that's a shame." Luan said in fake disappointment. "Well now there's no one in the house to prank. Guess I'll just have to invite someone else over. Nice phone by the way, Luna."

Luna's eyes widened before she searched through her pockets. "My phone's gone!"

Luan laughed again. "I wonder if Sam'll enjoy my pranks? Guess I'll find out soon enough!" Luan kept laughing though it got quieter and quieter, indicating that Luan had left.

Luna panicked. "I got to text her not to come. Anyone else got their phone?"

Everyone checked their pockets. Unfortunately, Luan seemed to have stolen all of their phones as well. "My phone's gone too." Lincoln stated.

"Wait, how did Luan steal your phone? Your room was boarded up." Lola asked.

"I have no idea." Lincoln admitted before starting to think. "Could she have found a way in anyway? If she did, then why wouldn't she set up any pranks in my room?"

Luna sighed. "I know why. It's me she's after. Not you guys." Luna got up and started to walk to the exit. "Looks like I've no choice. I gotta set off all those pranks myself before Sam gets here."

Lincoln stood up. "Wait, Luna you don't have to do this!"

"I have to dude." Luna argued before giving a sad smile. "Besides, if I do this, maybe Luan won't hold a grudge any more."

The Loud family watched Luna leave with looks of concern on their faces. "I can't just let her face all those pranks by herself." Lincoln stated. "I have to help her."

Lucy then stood up. "Wait. I'll help too."

Lincoln turned to her. "Lucy, you don't have to-"

"Yes, I do." Lucy interrupted as she walked up to Lincoln. "Sigh. I feel bad about what happened too. If it never happened, me and Rocky probably wouldn't be speaking to each other right now. I benefited while she lost out."

Lincoln sighed before smiling. "I understand. That's exactly how I feel with me and Ronnie Anne."

Lori sniffled before standing up herself. "In that case, seeing as that we're all in the same boat, I should go too." Lori walked over to the two before turning to Rick. "Also, Rick should come too."

Rick frowned. "W-Why the hell should this be my responsibility?"

Lori pointed an accusatory finger towards Rick. "You know exactly why. It's your fault Luan is acting like this as well, you know."

Rita squinted her eyes at the group. "What are you talking about? What did Rick do to Luan?"

Everyone froze for a moment, not sure what to answer. Luckily, Lynn came in with the save. "He gave her bad advice! Grandpa Rick gave Luan some bad advice that caused Benny to reject her."

Rita raised her eyebrow at Rick. "Is this true Rick?"

"Uhh yep. Y-Yeah, my bad." Rick pretended to look apologetic.

"Hmm, well in that case, I agree with the kids. You should go with them to help out Luna."

Rick grumbled to himself before following his three grandchildren out of the bunker. Lincoln saw Luna about to open the front door so he called out to stop her. "Luna, wait!"

Luna paused and turned to see Lincoln, Lori, Lucy and Rick running towards her. "Luna, I know you want to make things up to Luan but letting yourself get pranked to death isn't the way to do it." Lori said.

"You need to just talk to each other." Lucy added. "But not until Luan is stopped."

"And that's why we need to work together to put an end to this. Are you with us, Luna?" Lincoln asked.

Luna frowned in thought for a moment before smiling at her siblings, grateful that they still had her back despite what she'd done. "Thanks dudes."

"Ok, so what's the plan?" Lori asked.

Lincoln thought for a moment before answering. "Ok, first of all, Luna, you should wait here outside the house. When Sam comes, try and take her somewhere else."

Luna nodded. "Got it."

"Ok, second of all and I know this'll sound bad but someone needs to go in and clear out some of the pranks downstairs."

Lori sighed. "Well that sucks but I guess some sacrifices have to be made...I vote Rick."

"I vote Rick." Said Lucy.

"I vote Rick." Said Luna.

"Not it...oh. I mean I vote Rick." Said Lincoln.

Rick's jaw dropped. "W-W-What the hell? You dragged me into this just to throw me under the bus?"

Lori shrugged and gave Rick a smug look. "Sorry Rick. But you're outvoted on this one."

"Yeah, well how about you-"

"And if you don't help, I'll tell Mom and Dad. Besides, you're the 'smartest man in the universe' you could think of a way of getting past the traps and getting your stuff back right?" Rick folded his arms and muttered something under his breath as the siblings continued planning.

"Ok, so once Grandpa Rick's gotten rid of enough pranks, two of us will come in and try and restrain her. But just in case she's prepared for that, one of us will try and get in a different way. Problem is, which way in is safe to go through?" Lincoln pondered.

"I could try the vents." Lucy suggested. "I doubt Luan managed to get in there to set up any pranks."

Lincoln nodded. "Alright. We got our plan."

...

Back in the bunker, the TV was now playing a movie trailer featuring two tough, serious looking men wearing sunglasses. A voiceover was narrating everything that was happening on the screen. "It's in theaters now! Coming this summer: Two brothers. In a van. And then a meteor hit. And they ran as fast as they could, from giant cat monsters. And then a giant tornado came and that's when things got knocked into 12th gear. A Mexican armada shows up. With weapons made from Two-tomatoes. And you better bet your bottom dollar that these two brothers know how to handle business. In:"

The following words then flashed on the screen as the narrator read them out. "Alien Invasion Tomato Monster Mexican Armada Brothers, Who Are Just Regular Brothers, Running In a van from an Asteroid and All Sorts of Things THE MOVIE!"

The narrator continued as the brothers kept fighting back against everything that came up. "Hold on, there's more! Old women are coming, and they're also in the movie, and they're gonna come, and cross attack these two brothers. But let's get back to the brothers, because they're-they have a strong bond. You don't want to know about it here, but I'll tell you one thing: The moon, it comes crashing into Earth. And what do you do then? It's two brothers and-and th-they're-It's called Two brothers. Two brothers!" The narrator couldn't stop himself from laughing while the two brothers looked at the moon crash, exasperated at this point. "It's just called Two Brothers!"

Lynn gaped at the trailer in amazement. "Holy crud, that movie looks amazing, I gotta see it!"

Rita and Lynn Sr. looked at each other, concerned. "Isn't there anything on here that's child friendly?" Rita asked.

Lynn Sr. nodded. "I know right. Everything on here feels like it came from an improv sketch for an adult comedy show or something."

...

Rick slowly opened the door. After looking around for a bit, he entered and closed the door behind him. "All right, Luan, you've had your fun, now give me my stuff back." Rick called out.

"Oh Rick, nice of you to pay a visit." Rick heard Luan's voice call out from somewhere. "By the way, you didn't think I forgot about your part in what happened right? I know it wasn't just Luna's fault after all."

"You better not be using my inventions for your dumb pranks Luan. You know they're dangerous."

Luan scoffed. "Like I need your stuff for my pranks. Don't worry, I'm fully aware of how much your inventions ruin things...weellll actually, I might have used one or two somewhere in the house."

Luan giggled as Rick grew more and more irritated. "Wow, you really are growing up fast, Luan. You're growing into a real big thorn straight up into my ass!"

"Aww, thanks Rick, that's probably the nicest thing you've said to me. Hey I've been trying out impressions lately? Wanna hear yours?"

"No."

Luan then started doing an impression of him anyway, starting with a burp. "God's not real, L-L-L-Lincoln!" She burped again before laughing.

Rick glared forward. "Very funny, Luan."

"Hey, if you wanna come find me, why not come see me in the living room?"

Rick rolled his eyes. He could tell by now that Luan's voice was coming from the kitchen. He walked over and looked into it to see that the floor was covered in grease. Rick shook his head. "Subtle Luan. Subtle." He then knelt down. "Alright, where's the tripwire? Gah!"

Suddenly, a boot contraption activated and kicked Rick into the room, causing him to slide across the floor and crash into the fridge. "Ach!" A box then fell on his head. Rick tried to use the fridge to pull himself up but the grease made him slip up and open the fridge, causing an extendable boxing glove to come out to punch him across the room and crash into the stove. "Argh!" Rick sat up growling with the broken stove door stuck on him. However, before he could do anything, he was then attacked by a bunch of rabid raccoons hidden in the stove.

Luan then came by as Rick shouted a number of profanities. "Aww, you made some new friends, they really suit you Rick."

Rick then managed to throw the raccoons off him, get up and turned towards Luan with a look of pure rage on his face. "LUAN!"

"Uh oh." Luan said before running off as Rick then chased after her. Luan ran off into the living room. Without thinking, Rick ran in after her, activating a trap that was linked with his own portal gun, creating a portal right under Rick's feet.

"Dang it." Was all Rick said before he fell through the portal into a different dimension.

Luan laughed as the portal closed up. "Wow, for a genius, it really didn't take much to bait him." Suddenly, Luan was then tackled to the floor by Lincoln and Lori.

...

"Saturday Night Live!" Back in the bunker, the TV was now airing a variety show. The announcer was announcing the cast as images of them popped up on screen. "Starring a piece of toast! Two guys with handle-bar mustaches! A man painted silver who makes robot noises! Garmanarnar! Three s-uh uh, uh, uh, I'll get back to that one." Not even the announcer could tell what the three creatures currently on screen were. "A hole in the wall, where the men can see it all and returning, for his 25th consecutive year: Bobby Moynihan!"

"Is there anything on here that isn't completely nonsensical?" Lisa asked before taking the remote to change the channel.

"Aww, I wanted to see what the piece of toast says." Leni bemoaned.

Then TV then changed to a man stood next to a door. "Hey, are you tired of real doors, cluttering up your house, where you open 'em, and they actually go somewhere? And you go in another room?" It then cut to the man standing outside. He gestured towards a building named 'Real Fake Doors'. "Get on down to 'Real Fake Doors'! That's us."

"Real...fake...doors..." Lisa then threw her arms up. "I give up."

The man onscreen was now standing in a room full of fake doors. "Fill a whole room up with 'em. See? Watch, check this out!" The man then attempted to open a couple of the doors. "Won't open. Won't open. Not this one, not this one. None of 'em open! Fakedoors .com is our website, so check it out for a lot of really great deals on fake doooooooors!" Weirdly enough, the commercial didn't end there as the Fake Doors salesman then walked offstage, got into his car and drove out the studio.

"Uh, what's going on?" Lola asked, confused by what was happening.

Lana shrugged. "Guess the commercial's not over yet?"

The Fake Doors Salesman was now stuck in traffic, honking his horn. "Step on it, we all got places to be! Son of a bitch!"

"Oh, for crying out loud." Rita huffed.

The salesman pulled his car up to a house and parked in the driveway. "Is that where he lives?" Leni asked.

It then cut to the salesman in the kitchen. "And now he's making himself a sandwich." Lola remarked.

Suddenly, the salesman addressed the audience again. "Hey everybody! So this is my house, I just made a sandwich, peanut butter and jelly, still here, still selling fake doors!" The salesman then walked over to another room filled with fake doors.

Everyone gaped. "What the?" Lynn Sr. exclaimed.

"Wow, guess this is all part of the commercial." Lynn guessed. Meanwhile, Lisa had gone over to bang her head against the wall.

The Fake Doors salesman continued. "We have fake doors like you wouldn't believe! What are you worried about? Come get fake doors. Call us up, and order some fake doors today. Don't even hesitate, don't even worry and don't even give it a second thought. That's our slogan. See it on the bottom of the screen, below our name." Text of what he just said then flashed onscreen. "Here's another slogan, right below that one." Text of what he was about to say flashed onscreen. "What are you worried about? Come get fake doors! Get in here quick, get out quicker, with an arm of fake doors in you arms. Don't even worry about it!"

"Lisa, stop that." Rita chastised.

...

"GET OFF ME!" Luan angrily screeched. Both Lincoln and Lori had her pinned down on the floor.

"No! Not until you cut it out with the pranks and give everyone their stuff back." Lori stated.

Luan laughed in response. "In your dreams!" Luan managed to free her arm and then reached into one of the pockets, pulling out a handful of pepper. She threw it into Lincoln and Lori's faces, causing them both to go into a sneezing fit. Luan managed to push them both off of her and run out the room, activating a trap for them. Lincoln and Lori got up and noticed a projector had been activated, showing footage of Lincoln and Clyde. Lincoln was holding a balloon with a face drawn on it.

"I think this is how you kiss a girl." The Lincoln from the projection said before kissing the balloon.

"Don't hold back, Lincoln. Girls like a guy with passion!" Clyde said before Lincoln started to kiss the balloon harder, causing it to pop. The video then looped.

Lori had a weirded out look on her face. "What the?"

Lincoln flushed in embarrassment. "Uhh, don't look!" Lincoln then tried to take down the projection by standing on the couch. However, the couch had a spring set under it, causing Lincoln to bounce up into the ceiling and get stuck to sticky flypapers.

Lori grabbed Lincoln and pulled him down from the ceiling. "Come on!" The two then followed after Luan.

Luan had ran upstairs. She took a moment to catch her breath. "Gah!" Suddenly, Lucy then dropped down from the vents and held onto her head, covering her eyes.

"Enough of this!" Lucy commanded.

"Whoa, whoa!" Luan was put off balance by her sister grabbing her head. Unable to see what was happening, she stumbled towards the bathroom, accidentally opening the door. This activated another prank as a bag of flour tied to a string then flew into Luan's back. "Oof!" However, the force of it also knocked Lucy off of her. Luan then managed to grab Lucy and push her into the bathroom before closing the door as a beeping noise could be heard from it. "Heh heh. Ahh!" Lori then shoved her, causing her to stumble into the bathroom. The timer on the flour then finished as the flour exploded, covering the entire room as well as Luan and Lucy in flour. Both of them then went into a coughing fit.

Lucy then attempted to turn the sink on. "Gah!" Only for the water to fire out in different directions, soaking both the sisters.

Lori then came in. "Luan, just stop! You really think this'll solve anything between you and Luna?" Not listening, Luan scrambled over to where the towel would usually be. Remembering she had replaced the towel with a raccoon, she grabbed it and hurled it towards Lori's face. "Ahh!" Lori stumbled backwards as the raccoon attacked her face.

Lincoln then came up from behind her, only to be shoved into the wall as Luan ran past him and into her own room. This activated another trap as the vacuum had been taped to the ceiling. Its bag opened up, dropping dust all over Lincoln. "I really hate April Fools." Lincoln remarked.

After the three siblings recovered, an angry Lori came up to the door and started banging on it. "Luan, you get out here right now!"

Suddenly the door slammed open. The three siblings gasped at what they saw. Luan was standing in front of a pile of Lily's diapers. Luan herself was holding a slingshot, aiming one of the diapers towards her siblings. She had a demented grin on her face. "Alright, I think it's time we ended this!"

...

The rest of the Loud family were now watching a commercial with a leprechaun in a forest holding a bowl of cereal. "Oh, I love me Strawberry Smiggles! Ooh, I hope nobody ever gets my hands on me, and tries to steal my Strawberry Smiggles. I'm going to eat every last one of them, because and then they'll be in my stomach, and nobody will ever be able to eat them. Except for me, because they're going to be all inside my stomach. I'm-my name is Mr... Tophat Jones, and God forbid anyone ever take my sniggy, little pig-dul smiggles. I'm keeping 'em all for me." Mr. Tophat Jones started eating all the cereal. "Last bite. Oh, now they are all resting comfortably in my stomach. Ooh, am I feeling good."

However, a boy holding a roll of tape and a girl holding a knife ran up to him. Mr. Tophat Jones panicked. "No! Get away from me! Get away from me and my Strawberry Smiggles! No!" The girl managed to knock him over. After the boy strapped him down with the tape, the girl gutted his stomach open as both kids then started eating the cereal out of him. "Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ! It hurts!"

Leni, Lana and Lola started screaming in horror at the sight. Lynn Sr. then fumbled to get the remote to turn the TV off. After managing to do it, everyone took a couple deep breaths before Lynn Sr. stood up and turned to his wife. "What are we doing Rita? We're hiding away down here in a bunker, letting our kids watch this garbage while Lori, Lincoln and Lucy are in the house, doing our job for us. Dad was right. We are cowards."

Rita sighed and looked downwards. "I know."

Lynn Sr.'s brows furrowed. "Well, no more. This house does not belong to Luan. We need to put our foot down and stop this nonsense."

Rita stood up with a determined look on her face. "You're absolutely right Lynn. We really should have done this sooner." The two then started to march their way out of the bunker. The rest of the Loud sisters followed behind them, cheering.

...

Lincoln, Lori and Lucy were backing off from Luan to the point that they were on the stairs. Luan looked down at them. "Well it's been fun but if this keeps going, I won't have enough pranks left for Luna."

Lori glared at her. "Forget it. There's no way you're pranking Luna. We've made sure of it."

Looking down the stairs, Luan noticed Luna was standing outside the front door. Luan smirked as she figured out what was going on. "Aww, can't Luna handle a few harmless pranks."

"I'd hardly call them harmless." Lori sneered. "Most of your April Fools day pranks either cause injury or wreck our stuff. And literally only you seem to find it funny."

"Seriously, shaving a bird? You could've killed Walt last year!" Lincoln added.

Luan rolled her eyes. "Oh Lori, you never could take a joke-"

Before Luan could continue, Lucy stuck her fingers in her mouth and blew a whistle. Suddenly, Luan got attacked by Lucy's pet bat Fangs, causing her to drop her slingshot. "Wah!" Taking advantage of Luan's distraction, the three siblings ran up to her and pushed her back into her room. "No, no, no, AH!" Luan flailed her arms to try and keep her balance but still ended up falling into the pile of diapers. The three shut the door and put their backs to it to keep her in.

"So I guess talking her down is off the table now?" Lincoln asked.

"We just need to keep her in here until Luna takes Sam far away from here." Lori stated. Suddenly, smoke started coming up from beneath the door, causing the three to start coughing. Luan then took the opportunity to burst through the door, push past her siblings and run downstairs.

"She's going after Luna!" Lincoln called out. Lucy then sprung into action and ran after her. Once Luan got to the bottom step, Lucy managed to catch up to her and grab onto her leg, causing her to trip up.

Luan managed to pick herself back up and tried to shake Lucy off of her. "Get off me!" Luan demanded. Lucy shook her head and maintained her grip, ignoring the foul smell coming from Luan.

Luan gave up trying to shake her off and decided to drag her with her. She was stopped once again as Lincoln grabbed her arm. He gave her a pleading look. "Luan, please!"

Luan glared in response. "You won't stop me."

She now tried to drag both Lincoln and Lucy with her. She was stopped once again once when Lori put one arm around her and grabbed her other arm. "Enough!"

"Grrrr." Luan struggled to keep going but now, she was barely moving at all as her siblings held her back.

Meanwhile outside, Luna tapped her feet impatiently with a look of concern on her face. She had been tempted more than once to go in and intervene on her siblings' behalf after hearing all the noise before deciding to just stick with the plan. Luna breathed a sigh of relief as she finally saw Sam walk over to the house. Luna ran up to her. "Hey, Sam!"

"Hi Luna." The two hugged each other before Sam asked. "So, what did you invite me for?"

Luna pretended to act casual. "Oh, you know, just thinking me and you could take a walk over to the record store."

Sam shrugged. "Sounds cool with me."

Luan's eyes widened she watched Luna and Sam walk off. "NOOOO!" She bellowed in anger.

The three siblings' loosened their grip upon seeing Luna leave, which allowed Luan to push them off of her. She opened the door with the intent of going after them, only to come face to face with her parents with the rest of her sisters behind them. Her eyes widened in fear at the sight of her parents' angry faces.

The parents' then gasped as they saw the state their children were in. Lucy was soaking wet with patches of flour still on her, Lori had claw marks all over her face and Lincoln was covered in dust and dirt along with some sticky flypapers on his back. Luan herself was pretty wet and for some reason, smelt like a sewer. "Luan, this is completely unacceptable!" Rita scolded.

"Luan Loud, this is the last straw. We will not be putting up with any more of these insanely dangerous pranks any more. April fools or otherwise!" Lynn Sr. stated angrily. "And for what you've done today, you're grounded for one month and anything that needs fixing or replacing will be coming out of your money." Luan gaped in shock from what her father just told her.

"On top of that." Rita added. "You need to clean the house up and get rid of any remaining pranks that are about. Then you need to give everyone back the stuff you stole." Rita then plugged her nose. "After that, you need to take a shower. Now apologise to your siblings."

Luan turned to Lincoln, Lori and Lucy with a depressed look on her face. "I'm sorry."

The parents nodded and then left to go collect the stuff still in the bunker. There was an awkward silence before Lori spoke. "Luan?"

Luan gave a choked sob before falling to her knees. "It's not fair!" Luan cried as she brought her hands to her face. "First I lose Benny, now I can't do April Fools pranks any more? Why are you guys siding with her? She ruined our lives!"

Lori sighed. "First of all, we're not taking sides."

"Second." Lincoln added. "Luna didn't ruin our lives. She made a dumb mistake that Grandpa Rick managed to fix. We didn't lose anything."

"Yes, we did!" Luan yelled, giving Lincoln a despairing look as tears streamed down her face. "I'd still be with Benny if none of that happened."

"Oh for crying out loud." Lynn suddenly exclaimed. "You know, you're not the only one who got rejected right?"

"Huh?"

"Francisco rejected me too. Both times in fact."

Luan was silent for a moment before speaking. "But in our world he-"

Lynn interrupted her. "Luan, did you even know Benny well enough that you're sure he would've been perfect for you? For all you know, you could've broken up within a week." This made Luan pause for a moment as she thought about it. She knew she and Benny had a lot of common ground but beyond that, she didn't know that much about him. They weren't that close beforehand. Now she started to wonder if any of this was worth it.

Lucy then approached her. "Sigh. Luna knows what she did was wrong. There's really no point in holding a grudge against her. It's not like there's anything anyone can do about it now. Besides, no one exists just for us. None of us belong anywhere. Everyone dies eventually so why not just watch TV with us?"

There was a moment of silence as Luan started to calm down. She got up as she thought about what her siblings' told her.

...

Later on, the siblings were sat in the living room watching more interdimensional cable. They were watching a news show, however the anchorman was a hamster currently riding on top of a human's butt. "Ha-ha, Hamster-in-Butt-World Weather is done, and now it's sports time, coming up."

Luan then came down after finishing her parents' orders to sit with them. She still had her hair down while wearing the yellow jacket. "Hey guys. I'm really sorry for how I've been acting lately. To be honest, after thinking about it, it wasn't just about Benny. I just couldn't stop thinking about what happened that night. It's hard to forget considering I almost died that night." Luan confessed, looking somewhat shameful.

The rest of the siblings gave Luan a sympathetic look, apart from Lily, who didn't really understand what her siblings were talking about. Lincoln put a hand on her shoulder. "We understand. I don't think any of us are going to forget what happened any time soon either."

"Luan, just remember, you can come to any of us if you ever want to talk about it. We'll be here for you." Lori stated, giving Luan a comforting smile.

Luan smiled in gratitude. "Thanks guys."

The front door then opened as Luna had come home. She peered into the living room, noticing everyone there. "Uhh, is everything cool?"

Luan then stood up to face her sister. "Luna, I'm sorry for how I've been acting lately. I shouldn't have tried to get at you like that. I should've just tried to talk it out."

Luna sighed. "S'okay. I understand why you were mad. I've felt terrible about it ever since. I wanted to try and talk it out too but..." Luna looked away. "Everytime I tried, I kept thinking back to what you called me that night."

Luan's eyes widened before instinctively putting her hands over her mouth. "Oh gosh, I'm really sorry about that too. I-It just kinda slipped out."

Luna shook her head. "It's fine, dude. All I wanna know is if you could forgive me for ruining your thing with Benny."

Luan sighed before smiling. "Meh, there's other guys out there. Honestly, it wasn't worth falling out over a guy. It's not like you meant to anyway so yeah, I forgive you." Luan then offered Luna a hug. Luna smiled before reciprocating the hug. The rest of the siblings smiled at the sight of their sisters finally making up.

Suddenly a portal opened up as Rick stepped out. He looked like he had been through absolute hell. Luan gave him a nervous smile. "Uhh, h-hey Grandpa Rick. Um, sorry about that portal prank."

"I'M GONNA FREAKING KILL YOU, LUAN!"


	10. Toads, Tiaras And Something Ricked

It was early in the morning. Lincoln was outside of the house wearing a pink headband that said 'GO LOLA' on it. Pageant supplies were strewn around the lawn. He was currently giving instructions to Lola with a megaphone which Lola then followed. "Good. And turn...and wave. More teeth." Lola gave an oversized grin. "Less teeth." She toned it down before walking off. "Excellent! Keep it up!" Lincoln then turned to the audience. "You might be wondering why I'm helping Lola practice for a beauty contest. Well, tomorrow is the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Pageant, and the winner gets the greatest prize ever:" He spoke into the megaphone. "Two season passes to Dairyland A-Moo-sement Park!" He turned the megaphone back off. "That's one for Lola and one for coach." He pointed to himself. "I've been working my butt off all week to make sure she wins. It's been a long, hard road. But once we get to Dairyland, it'll all be worth it."

Suddenly, Lana's pet frog, Hops, hopped by with Lana chasing after him. "Get back here, Hops!" Without paying attention, she ran through some mud splashing it. Lincoln picked up Lola to prevent her from getting dirty but was unable to help himself as he ended up covered in mud.

Lincoln gave Lana an annoyed look. "Lana, watch out! Do you know how hard it is to steam clean chiffon?"

"Blah blah blah blah blah." Lana said dismissively before going into the house.

Lincoln wiped the mud off him and got out a book. "Okay, Lola, let's move onto your walk. Remember what Gil DeLily says in his best-selling book: Unlocking Your Inner Pageant Queen. To win the day, you must sashay."

"I know how to walk, Lincoln." Lola said before walking off. Unfortunately, as she was walking, she didn't notice the bottle of hairspray on the floor.

Seeing it, Lincoln moved forward to try and stop her. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He was too late. Lola stepped on the spray can and slipped.

...

Meanwhile in the dining room, Rick was constructing a small robot while eating his breakfast. Once it was finished, the robot asked. "What is my purpose?"

"Pass the butter." The robot then brought the small plate of butter over to Rick. Rick then spread the butter on his pancakes. "Thank you!"

Leni then walked in. "Hey Grandpa Rick, Lori's taken the van out, could you like, give me a ride to work?"

"I'm busy."

"Doing what?"

"Uh, anything else?"

Leni stared at him blankly. "Umm, what's anything else?"

"Oh for-fine I'll take you."

The robot spoke again. "What is my purpose?"

"You pass butter." Rick replied.

The robot looked at its arms before looking downwards. "Oh my God."

"Yeah, welcome to the club, pal."

...

Some time later, Rick was driving Leni to her job in his space cruiser when he started talking. "So, since when did you have a job?"

"Since last week. It's part time at this drift store." Leni cheerfully replied.

"Drift store?"

"No wait, maybe it was called a thrift store." Leni said, trying to think about it.

Rick raised an eyebrow at her. "So why a thrift store? Aren't you into clothes or something like that?"

"It's just part time. That only means part of my time right?" Rick nodded before she continued. "Anyway, my boss is this really smart, sweet old man that treats me really nice!"

"Wee-ow, can't wait to meet this fascinating character." Rick said sarcastically.

Meanwhile at the store, Needful Things, the Loud's next door neighbour, Mr. Grouse, entered it. Mr. Grouse was a heavy, bald elderly man with a white mustache. He wore a white shirt under a black waistcoat with a blue tie. He looked around at the creepy, old fashioned store in confusion. "Hey, didn't this use to be a juice place?"

The man who owned the store was currently placing items on one of the counters. The man had a black moustache and goatee and wore formal attire with a top hat and white gloves. He had a menacing smile. "I've just recently opened for business, Mr., um, Grouse."

Mr. Grouse was caught off guard. "Whu? How'd you know my name."

The man approached Mr. Grouse, smirking. "I also know you long for some peace and quiet from your noisy neighbours."

"Well, those Louds sure do get pretty loud."

The man picked up an odd looking device. "This device will stop any noise from entering your house as soon as you plug it in. Free of charge: one never pays here. Not with money."

Mr. Grouse missed the sinister tone in the man's voice. "Sounds good to me!" Mr. Grouse took the device and left the store just as Leni and Rick entered it.

"Sorry I'm late, Mr. Needful." Leni apologised. "I needed my Grandpa, Rick, to give me a lift here." Leni went off to do some dusting.

Rick decided to inspect some of the antiques. "Huh."

Mr Needful approached Rick. "Tell me Rick, what do you desire?"

"Eh, I make my own stuff." Rick picked up a skull with a candle on it. "So what are you, like, a demon?"

This caught Mr. Needful off guard. "What? Sorry?"

Rick shrugged. "I dunno, store comes out of nowhere, all the shit's old and creepy; are you a demon or something? I mean, I'm not judging. I just like to shoot straight. I'm a man of science."

Mr. Needful smirked. "Ahah. Then perhaps you could make use of this." He picked up a golden microscope. "This microscope reveals things beyond comprehension. Hahahaha."

"Hahahahaha." Mr. Needful and Rick both started to laugh, each getting louder as they tried to outdo each other.

Eventually Leni joined in, laughing. "Ha ha...ha...what are we laughing about?"

Rick snatched the microscope and then left the store.

...

Lola frowned as she laid on her bed with her arm and leg in a cast. Lincoln smiled nervously as he stood at the foot of the bed. "Okay, minor setback. We can still win this thing."

"Wake up and smell the hairspray, Lincoln." She waved her hand dismissively. "It's over!"

Lincoln got desperate as he pleaded to her. "You can't just quit! We worked hard on this!"

Lola rolled her eyes. "There will be other pageants, you know."

Lincoln looked forlorn. "But not with Dairyland tickets."

"Lincoln, I need my beauty rest." Lola put on a sleeping mask. "As your pal, Gil DeLily, would say, I can't recover if you're going to hover."

Seeing as there was no chance of Lola entering the pageant now, Lincoln gave up and went outside to pick up the pageant supplies. "I can't believe I learned to French braid for nothing."

Before he was able to pick up a practice tiara, Lana then took it. "Hey, Lincoln. You done with this? I could use the scrap metal for welding."

Lincoln gasped and dropped the supplies as he looked at Lana, an idea coming to mind. He took off Lana's cap and placed the tiara on her head. Being Lola's twin, Lana could easily pass herself off as her. Lincoln could swear he could hear angels singing hallelujah to him. "Uh...why are you looking at me like that?" Lana asked.

"Lana, how would you like a season pass to Dairyland?"

Lana gasped with joy before looking away and putting her hand up to Lincoln. "Don't toy with me, Lincoln!"

"I'm not!" Lincoln clasped his hands. "All you have to do is one teensy, tiny, little thing."

Lana grabbed Lincoln's shirt in desperation. "What is it? I'll do anything!"

"You just have to take Lola's place in the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Pageant and win."

Lana pushed Lincoln away, nauseated. "Are you kidding me?! Bleh! Do you know who you're talking to?"

Lincoln had a determined look on his face. "Someone who's going to love Dairyland's newest ride." Lincoln got out a pamphlet, showing Lana the ride. "The Milk Shaker. It's so fast, you can barf, fly around a loop, and get hit in the face with said barf."

Lana shook her fist. "Darn you, Lincoln! I am in!" Lana then looked worried. "But wait. What if Lola finds out? You know what she's capable of."

Both of them shuddered as an image of a very angry, demonic looking Lola flashed in their minds. Lincoln shook his head. "She won't find out. I promise." The two then shook hands. Lincoln then looked disgusted as he realised Lana's hand was covered in mud. "Bleh. First off, we gotta clean you up. Dirt on your face gets you last place."

Lincoln and Lana then went back into the house through the garage. Upon entering, they noticed that Rick was doing some kind of experiment with a golden microscope. After noticing them, Rick spoke. "Hey, Lincoln, lemme ask you a question real quick. Does evil exist, and if so, can one detect and measure it?"

Lincoln looked confused. "Uh..."

"Rhetorical question, Lincoln. The answer is yes, you just have to be a genius." Rick used a machine to scan the microscope. He looked at his laptop. A meter marked 'IQ' on it had dropped. "Cute. Your sister's boss gave me a microscope that would have made me retarded."

Lincoln immediately covered Lana's ears. "Whoa, Grandpa Rick! You can't just say that!"

"Uh, Lincoln, I'm not disparaging the differently abled. I'm stating the fact that if I had used this microscope, it would have made me mentally retarded."

Lincoln gave Rick an annoyed look. "Look, just so you know, I'm trying to get Lana prepared for this pageant and you're really not helping."

"What does retarded mean?" Lana asked.

"Forget it, Lana!" An irritated Lincoln replied.

Rick gave Lincoln a pointed look. "A pageant? Lana?" Rick then realised he didn't care that much. "Yeah ok, good luck with that." He went back to his work.

...

At Needful things, an angry looking Mr. Grouse stormed into the store and confronted Mr. Needful at the counter. "You darn scammer. Your doohickey made me completely deaf!"

"A price for everything, Mr. Grouse. A price...for everything!" Mr. Needful then chuckled evilly.

Mr. Grouse just stared at him blankly. "What?"

Mr. Needful stopped laughing. "Oh that's right, you're deaf."

"Wha-" Mr. Grouse was then caught off guard as Rick had come up from behind and injected something into him.

"This serum should counteract the negative effects." Rick explained.

"I can hear? Thank goodness! I'm outta this dump. Darn scammers." Mr. Grouse hurriedly left the store.

Rick smiled before handing Mr. Needful back the microscope. "Here. You can have this back."

"You didn't use it?"

"Sure I did. To develop this." Rick then got out a scanning device. "It detects and catalogues all your Twilight Zone Ray Bradbury Friday the 13th of series voodoo crap magic. I thought you might want it so you didn't accidentally sell anybody, say..." Mr. Needful had started to look nervous as Rick used the device to scan a typewriter. "A typewriter that generates best-selling murder mysteries, then makes the murders happen in real life? Oooh."

"Be quiet!" Mr. Needful whispered harshly.

"Don't you want to make sure people know what they're getting? You're not intentionally selling..." Rick walked over to scan a stack of beauty cream that a woman was checking out. "Beauty cream that makes ugly ladies pretty but also makes them blind?" The woman dropped the beauty cream and ran out of the store.

Mr. Needful angrily walked up to Rick to confront him. "I find this all quite preposterous!"

"Oh, I say, good sir!" Rick said, mocking him. "Oh, harrumph, oh, oh, bobba-doppa-doopa-bo-bo." Rick then walked over to a woman wearing an animal fur scarf to scan it. "That's beautiful, you know it's going to be wearing you in three hours?" The woman threw the scarf off and ran out of the store along with a few other customers that overheard Rick.

"Do I need to call the police?" Mr. Needful snapped angrily.

Rick got out his phone. "Here, you can use my phone. Don't worry, it won't make you deaf because I'm not a hack."

Mr. Needful slapped the phone out of Rick's hand. Rick responded by slapping his hat off his head. The two then got into a slapping fight before Leni came in to break it up. "Ah! Hey! Stop it!" After pushing them apart, Leni turned to Rick. "Grandpa Rick, why are you fighting with my boss?"

"Leni, you do realise he's a demon right?"

Leni gave Rick a confused look. "Dee man? What's that?"

Rick gave Leni a deadpan look. "You seriously don't know what a demon is?"

A thought occured to Leni. "Oh you mean like Lola?"

Rick blinked in confusion. "What? What does any of this have to do with Lola?"

"Well my sisters say that Lola is like a 'demon' whenever she gets really mad."

"Leni, this isn't like a six year old throwing a temper tantrum, this man's an evil demonic entity."

Leni put her hands on her hips, giving Rick a critical look. "Hey, just because he's a demon doesn't mean he's not nice. I mean, he's really nice to me."

"He puts curses on people Leni!"

"That is completely untrue." Mr. Needful interjected. "They simply...don't understand how my stuff works. I'm only trying to help the community by providing them with miracles for free."

Leni smiled. "See Grandpa Rick, Mr. Needful isn't mean. Wait, why are they for free?"

"Well...why can't more shops give stuff for free? Isn't it a little unfair having to pay for everything these days?"

Leni nodded. "That is so true! More shops should start giving stuff out for free!"

Rick facepalmed, groaning. Mr. Needful then gave Rick a smug look. "Now, if you're not going to take anything, I suggest you leave and if you bring that scanner into this place again, I will ban you. Understand?"

Rick glared at Mr. Needful before walking off. "W-Whoops." Before he left, he purposely knocked over a vase, causing it to break on the floor and release a spirit that flew into the ceiling, cackling.

Leni looked worried. "Oh no, do I need to catch that?"

...

As Lola was sleeping, Lincoln snuck into the twins' room and took out one of Lola's dresses from the closet.

"What are you doing with that?!" Lola suddenly snapped.

"Oh, this?" Lincoln chuckled nervously. "Just, uh...getting it dry cleaned. You keep healing, sunshine." Lincoln left with the dress while Lola glared at him, still suspicious.

In the bathroom, after putting on Lola's dress, Lana pulled at it, feeling uncomfortable. "What is this weird, sparkly towel?"

"It's called a dress, Lana." Lincoln answered before getting out a comb and hairspray. "Now, hold still while I work my magic."

Lincoln then sprayed and combed Lana's hair. "Ugh! It smells like princess farts!" Lana complained.

Meanwhile, Lola got up as she could smell the spray. She got her crutch and headed to the bathroom, growling. She barged in, only to find a shirtless Lincoln spraying his armpits with the spray. "Oh, hey, Lola! Your hairspray makes a great deodorant. It really covers up that musky man smell."

Lola squinted her eyes at Lincoln. "Hmm..." Seeing nothing wrong, Lola left.

Lana pulled back the bath curtains she was hiding behind as both she and Lincoln breathed a sigh of relief. Lana now had her hair coifed and braided. Lincoln found that he couldn't move his arms. "Help me get my arms unstuck."

Lana grabbed his arm. "You're gonna feel some slight discomfort and..."

"AAAAAHHHHH!"

...

The two continued practicing in Lincoln's room. Lincoln held the 'Unlocking Your Inner Pageant Queen' book as he sat on his bed. "Time to work on what Gil DeLily calls the Three W's: Walk, Wave, and Work it." Lana then did a short walk, smiling as she waved. Lincoln gave her a critical look. "Ok, we're walking, we're waving...but we're just not working it." Lana then tried to strike a pose, only for her tools to fall out of her dress. Lincoln gave her an annoyed look. "Tools in your dress? Seriously?"

Lana put her hands on her hips. "Handyman's code, Lincoln. Always be prepared."

"You are not a handyman!" Lincoln snapped. "You are a pageant queen!"

...

Lincoln decided to move on to rehearsing the QA portion of the pageant. Lincoln kneeled down next to her, using a hairbrush as a microphone. "Lola, what can a six-year-old do to make the world a better place?"

"Um..." Lana scratched her butt as she tried to think about it.

"Lana, you can't scratch your butt!" Lincoln snapped.

"What? It helps me think!" Lana snapped back.

"Well, knock it off!" Lincoln got out the book. "Those who scratch lose the match."

...

Soon after, Lincoln sat on his bed to talk about the next segment. "Ok, talent portion. Whatcha got?" Lana then played a ditty with armpit fart sounds. "Impressive, but I'm gonna pass." Lana looked downcast as Lincoln picked out something from a box under his bed. "How about a ribbon dance?" He gave her a demonstration. "It shows elegance and poise."

Lana frowned. "Excuse me while I go barf."

Lincoln slumped and gave Lana a frustrated look. "Lana, I'm busting my hump trying to turn you into a pageant queen, and all I'm getting is lip. Do you want those Dairyland tickets or not?"

Lana slumped. "Ok, ok, you're right!"

Lincoln got the book out again. "As Gil says, She who gives 'tude-"

Lana slapped the book out of Lincoln's hands. "I ALREADY AGREED!"

...

The two then spent the rest of the day practicing Lana's ribbon dancing, posing and walking with Lana steadily improving in each category. After doing an impressive display of ribbon dancing, Lincoln knew she was finally ready. The two went to Lincoln's room as Lana posed in front of a mirror. "Whoo-hoo! Lana, look at you! You've done it! You're prim and perfect."

"I never thought I'd say it, but this feels pretty good." Lana admitted. "I don't even mind the sparkly towel."

"DAIRYLAND, HERE WE COME!" Lincoln and Lana both cheered.

...

The next day, Mr. Needful was serving Scoots while Leni was working. He held out a box of wheels. "If it's speed you desire, Scoots, I might-"

"I'll take em!" Scoots interrupted him, taking the box.

"B-But I haven't even-"

"See ya later sucker!" Scoots then drove out of the store.

Mr. Needful looked at the woman leaving in confusion. "Huh. Ok." He turned to Leni, smiling. "I must say, Leni, I thought your grandfather's outburst would have disrupted business, but this is the best weekend I've had since Salem!"

Leni smiled. "That's great, Mr. Needful!"

Lincoln's teacher, Mrs. Johnson then entered the store. "Mrs. Johnson, is it? What do you desire?" Mrs. Johnson said nothing as she picked up an armful of goods, confusing Mr. Needful. "Whoa, whoa, slow down, honey!"

Mrs. Johnson turned to him. "Oh, is there a limit? Everything's free, right?"

Mr. Needful smirked. "Let's just say...you don't pay with money."

"You pay with the curses, right?"

Mr. Needful's eyes widened. "Um, I… well-"

Leni looked confused. "Wait, I thought you said this stuff wasn't cursed?"

"I-It's not!" Mr. Needful tried to reassure her. "I'm sure she's just made a mistake." Seeing Mrs. Johnson was about to leave, Mr. Needful called after her. "Mrs. Johnson, why do you want all these items?"

"Well, I'm going to get the curses removed. At curse purge plus. You know, the guy on TV?" Mrs. Johnson pointed at the TV before leaving.

Mr. Needful looked up at the TV. His jaw dropped upon seeing Rick wearing uniform on it. "What?" He turned up the volume to hear Rick speak.

"Have you acquired creepy, specific old stuff from an antique or thrift store that gives you powers but fucks with you in unforeseeable ways? Bring it to Curse Purge Plus! I use science to uncurse the items for cash, and you get to keep the powers!" Rick walked over to a man holding a pair of shoes. "This guy got mysterious sneakers to make him run faster! But guess what? He would have had to run until he died, making them worthless. I removed the curse, making them worth, like, I dunno, 8,000,000? See ya at the Olympics." He then walked over to a woman holding a baby doll. "This eerily intelligent doll was threatening to murder its family. Now it does their taxes."

"Everything's deductible." Said the doll.

"Don't pay for cool stuff with your soul. Pay for it with money. You know, like how every other store in the world works? We're located right across the street from Needful Things, where you can get evil items for free!"

Leni stared at the TV in confusion, utterly lost, while Mr. Needful then ran to the front door and opened the blinds to see Rick's store, Curse Purge Plus, right across the street. There was a huge line going into the store waiting to be served while Rick was outside, flipping off Mr. Needful. "Wubba lubba dub dub!"

Leni also went to look at the store. Something then clicked in her mind. "Oh, I get it. Grandpa Rick's just helping people to use your stuff right. That's so nice of him!"

Mr. Needful got angry. "Diabolical son of a mother-" Suddenly, the door burst open and a crowd of customers rushed in, looting the place. Before they could take the stuff, Mr. Needful slammed the door shut and blocked the way. "This store is closed!" He shouted angrily. "Now put that stuff back!" Everyone moaned before putting the stuff back and leaving the store.

Leni approached Mr. Needful apprehensively as he appeared to be seething. "Umm...Mr. Needful, is everything okay?"

Mr. Needful turned to face her. "Leni, you're fired!"

"W-what? Why?"

Mr. Needful pointed angrily at her. "You're his granddaughter! Do you think I want one of his relatives working here after he ruined my store?"

Leni gave Mr. Needful an upset look. "But...Grandpa Rick's just trying to help people."

"GET OUT!" Mr. Needful shouted, not wanting to discuss this any further. Leni looked downcast as she quietly left the store. Mr. Needful then glared at Rick through the window. "You may have exposed my store Rick. But I swear, I won't leave Royal Woods until you get your just deserts."

...

Lincoln and Lana arrived at the pageant hall. Lana looked at the competition and started to get worried. "Whoa. Look at those girls! They're all so clean and sparkly."

Lincoln put his hands on her shoulders to reassure her. "Well, so are you. You're as good as any of them!" Lana turned to smile at him. Both of them then noticed a cameraman walking by. "I didn't know this was going to be on TV. Good thing we don't get the Princess Channel."

...

"Thanks for getting me the Princess Channel, Daddy!" Lola smiled gratefully as she sat on the couch watching the TV.

Lynn Sr. laughed as he handed her a plate of cookies and a glass of milk. "Silly Lola, we have interdimensional cable now. We can watch whatever we want."

"Oh, right."

Lynn Sr. walked off as a depressed Leni then came in and sat next to Lola. "What's up with you?" Lola asked.

Leni sighed. "I got fired from the thrift store."

Lola raises her eyebrow at Leni. "Why would you work at some old thrift store?"

Leni turned to face her. "Well it wasn't just any old store. It sold these magic items that could do like, anything! And it was all totally free!"

"Huh. Really?" Lola briefly wondered if maybe the store had something that could heal her arm and leg before the pageant started as the bespectacled host appeared on screen.

"Welcome to the Little Miss Prim and Perfect Pageant! I'm your host, Donnie Dufresne. Let's meet America's junior sweethearts." Lola took a sip of her milk. "Hailing from Royal Woods, Miss Lola Loud!"

As Lana waved onscreen, Lola did a spit take in shock before gasping. "What is going on?!"

Leni pointed at the screen. "Oh, look Lola! You're on TV!" Lola quickly glanced at her in annoyed confusion before turning back to the TV.

Lana spoke into the microphone. "I'd like to thank my coach and brother, Lincoln!" Lincoln could be seen waving offstage.

Lola wiped her mouth as she glared at the screen. "Lincoln! I should have known!"

Lana continued talking. "And I just want to say it is great to be here!" She suddenly belched causing the audience to gasp. "Sorry you were downwind of that, Donnie." Lana nudged Donnie's arm with a cheeky smile.

At this point, Lola was beyond infuriated. "THEY'RE RUINING ME! AND THEY WILL PAY! LENI!"

"Eep!" Leni turned to her with a frightened expression on her face.

"Take me to the pa-" A thought then occurred to Lola. "Wait. Actually, take me to that thrift store, then take me to the pageant."

"Um, actually Lola, I don't know if going to the thrift store is a good idea. I'm not sure but I think the stuff they sold might have been cursed." Leni nervously argued.

"Curses, shmurses. Now let's move it!" Lola demanded. Not wanting to anger her further, Leni reluctantly nodded her head as they both got up to get into the van.

...

Despite it looking like Needful Things had closed, Rick still continued working at Curse Purge Plus. Though he was starting to grow tired of it. A customer approached him at the counter. "I'm here to pick up my undead cat and child."

"Yeah, uh, gimmie a sec." Rick walked off before being confronted by an employee.

"These are the forms for the employee health plan."

"Alright, yeah, uh, put 'em on my… eh." Rick trailed off. He then got out some gasoline and poured it all over the floor and counter. "I just got bored. Everybody out." He then got out a match and lit the store on fire.

...

As Mr. Needful was packing his stuff up, he was surprised to see a little girl had entered the store. "Is this place closed?" Lola asked.

Mr. Needful grinned evilly. He knew exactly who she was and what she wanted. "Of course not. How can I help you?"

"You got something that'll heal my arm and leg?"

"But of course." Mr. Needful picked up a bottle of what looked like clear water. "Drink all of this and your injuries will heal perfectly." Lola snatched the bottle and started drinking immediately as she limped her way back to the van. Mr. Needful smirked as he watched her leave.

Lola was still drinking as she got back into the van. Once she finished, she felt a strange tingling sensation in her arm and leg. She took off the casts from both and was amazed to find that they were completely healed. "Holy crud, it actually worked!" She went back to being angry. "Alright, now get to the pageant!" Leni drove off. As she was driving, she couldn't help but glance at Lola every now and then. Did she usually get this red every time she got mad?

...

Lana waved as she walked off stage. An anxious Lincoln then grabbed her shoulders. "Lana, what were you thinking?" Lincoln got out the book. "Remember what Gil says, If you belch on stage, the judges will rage."

Lana frowned. "Gil actually has a rhyme for that?"

Lincoln closed the book. "That's why he's a pageant powerhouse. Now, the evening gown competition is next." Lincoln grabbed her shoulders. "If we wanna win those tickets, we cannot afford anymore slip-ups." Lana gave Lincoln a reassuring nod.

Once it was Lana's turn to go out, she walked across the stage and waved to the audience. On the way back, however, she noticed something wrong with the floor. "Whoa. Hang on, everybody! Loose floorboard!" She took out a hammer, causing the audience to gasp again before nailing the floorboard back into place. "That'll hold. Carry on!"

As Lana made her way backstage, the other girls giggled at her condescendingly while Lincoln facepalmed in frustration. He grabbed Lana's arm to stop her. "Lana! What was that?! We talked about the tools!"

Lana pulled her arm away. "Ugh, I couldn't help it! Fixing stuff is what I do!"

"You're supposed to be prim and perfect! Now, do you want to go to Dairyland and get hit in the face with your own barf or not?" Lincoln calmed down and tried to give her a reassuring smile, putting his hands on her shoulders. "I know you can do this. The interview is next. Go out there and nail it!" Lana smiled and got out her hammer. "Not with that."

When Lana went back out on stage, Donnie, who was also one of the judges, asked her. "Lola, what can six year olds do to eliminate the national debt."

"Um..." Lana was about to scratch her butt before grabbing her hand and stopping herself. "Plenty, Donnie. Just because we're six doesn't mean we can't make a difference." The audience applauded her before Hops suddenly jumped out from Lana's dress, causing another gasp. "OH! HOPS!" The frog hopped over to the judges' desk. Lana lunged after him, causing a ruckus.

...

Meanwhile, Leni had parked outside the pageant hall. A growling Lola got out and stomped over to the building. Along with her skin becoming more red, her teeth had suddenly gotten a lot sharper.

...

Lincoln had gotten involved in the skirmish, grabbing Hops and taking Lana backstage to chastise her. "Lana, what is the problem? We went over everything in Gil's book, and the companion DVD, and the podcast! How are you still not getting it?"

Lana looked downcast. "I'm sorry, Lincoln. No matter what I do, I can't be prim and perfect like these girls. Maybe there's something wrong with me." Lana's eyes started to water as she walked off with Hops hopping after her.

Seeing Lana's reaction made Lincoln look down in shame. He now started to regret pushing Lana so hard. He ran after her. "Lana! Wait." He grabbed her shoulders. "There's nothing wrong with you. I'm the one who messed up. I got so caught up in winning those tickets, I turned into Gil DeLily...who, when you stop to think about it, probably needs to get a life."

Lana smiled before looking down again. "Yeah, but still, why can't I be like them?" She gestured to the competition.

Lincoln smiled. "Because you're you." He knelt down to talk to her, eye level. "You're messy and muddy and keep a lot of reptiles in your pants. But that's what makes you awesome. And I was crazy to try and change you."

Lana's eyes watered again before she went to hug Lincoln. "Aw...thanks, Lincoln."

"Ladies and gentlemen, Miss Lola Loud and her fabulous ribbon dance!" Donnie announced.

Lana shrugged. "Well, that's me. I'll do my best."

Before she could pick up her ribbon, Lincoln stopped her. "Forget the ribbon dance. Why don't you go do your own talent?"

"Really?" Lana smiled. "Okay, but we can kiss those Dairyland tickets goodbye."

Lincoln shook his head. "I don't care about them anymore. Go be yourself." Lana then took off her dress which had her regular outfit underneath it, messed her hair back up and put her red cap back on.

At that moment, a snarling Lola barged into the building. Now, her pupils had become slits.

Lana went onstage with Hops. "Yo, Hops! Give me a bassline!" Hops started croaking to a beat as Lana started doing her own little jam, snapping her fingers and throwing in some armpit fart noises.

Lincoln quietly cheered for her backstage. "Whoo-hoo! That's my sister!"

Suddenly, someone grabbed Lincoln and threw him against the wall. "AND THIS IS YOUR OTHER SISTER!"

"Lola?!" Lincoln thought Lola could be pretty scary whenever she got mad but he didn't remember her skin going red, teeth growing sharp, pupils turning into slits or demon like horns growing out of her head ever before. "What happened to you?"

Lola didn't seem to hear him. "I have worked four years to build my pageant reputation!" Her voice got more and more distorted. "AND YOU JUST RUINED IT!" At this point, she had completely lost it. Her hand mutated into a claw which she slashed at Lincoln.

"Aah!" Luckily Lincoln managed to dodge her. Lincoln stepped back as the other pageant girls started screaming and running away at the sight of Lola now growing in size as she growled at Lincoln. Despite Lincoln's horror at what had become of his sister, he could still manage to hear applause followed by the winner of the pageant being announced.

"And the winner is...Lola Loud!"

...

Rick arrived home and entered the living room to see a surprised Lynn Sr. watching TV. "Dad, you're not gonna believe this! Lana's just won a pageant! I didn't even know she entered one."

Rick blinked in disbelief. "Seriously?" He sat down next to Lynn Sr. to watch.

"Yeah. Kinda weird how they messed up her name and called her Lola but I guess they are twins after all."

Lana had a tiara placed on her head as she waved at the audience, holding Hops. Rick and Lynn Sr.'s jaws then both dropped as a giant, demonic Lola tore back the curtains and roared at the audience causing everyone to scream as Lincoln ran away from her.

Lynn Sr. gaped in horror. "What the?"

Rick groaned. "Goddamnit!" He got up and made his way to get into the cruiser.

...

Rick parked the cruiser at the pageant hall. After getting out, he noticed Leni was about to throw a strange bottle into a waste basket. He snatched it out her hands before she was able to do so. "Huh?"

Rick scanned the bottle. "Will heal any injuries but the more angry you get, the more demonic you become." He scowled and threw the bottle to the floor. "That son of a bitch!" He was about to make his way inside the building before Leni stopped him.

"Rick, wait! I think I know why you didn't like Mr. Needful. You were jealous of him weren't you?"

Rick blinked in surprise, baffled on how Leni somehow came to that conclusion. "Sorry, what?"

"Like, you thought I'd rather hang out with him over you, right? It's okay. He was kind of a meanie anyway. I know things have been not so great with you and my siblings recently but just so you know, I still love you." Leni then went over to give Rick a hug.

Rick had absolutely no idea how to react to this. Especially as he was still focused on saving his grandkids. After a moment, he lightly pushed her away. "Uh, thanks Leni but there's a situation in there involving your siblings that I really need to get involved in before people start dying." Rick ran into the pageant hall. After hearing what he said, Leni followed him in. Her eyes widened in shock at the sight of her sister.

"ROOAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHH!"

Everyone inside was screaming in horror and scrambling to escape as Lola went on her rampage. She seemed to be mindlessly targeting only Lincoln and Lana. She had managed to corner them. Unable to do anything, Lincoln held onto Lana and Lana held onto Hops as both of them closed their eyes in fear. Lola was about to swipe at them before she stopped. Rick had injected her with something which caused her to slowly revert back into her normal state. Her anger now gone, she blinked as she became aware of her surroundings and of what she had just done. She gasped in horror as she looked at her ruined dress and the destroyed stage. She saw that everyone that was still in the building was looking at her in fear. Including Lincoln, Lana and Leni. "Uh...I..." Her eyes watered. Feeling both ashamed at herself and humiliated, Lola could do nothing but sob as she ran out of the pageant hall crying. Rick scowled at the sight of his distraught granddaughter. The Loud siblings snapped out of their fear induced trance and ran out after Lola along with Rick.

...

Rick and the others had caught up to Lola and managed to take her home. She was currently lying face down crying into her pillow while Lincoln, Lana, Leni and Rick all tried to comfort her. Lana placed a hand on her back. "Lola, I'm so sorry I pretended to be you." She took off her tiara and offered it to Lola. "You should have this. It belongs to you."

Lola sat up, sniffing before shaking her head. "No. It's yours. You earned it." She sniffled. "All I did was ruin my own pageant career."

"It wasn't your fault." Lincoln argued. "It's like Grandpa Rick said. It's that curse that did this. Not you."

"It is my fault." Lola countered. "If I didn't get so mad or listened to Leni, none of this would have happened!" She looked at her family with wide eyes. "A-Am I really that bad whenever I get angry?" No one knew how to answer that. Lola took their silence as an affirmation of her suspicions. Lola sighed and looked downwards. "Maybe it's best I don't go to pageants any more. There's no way they'll let me in one now. I don't deserve to be in them anyway."

"Well, to be honest, leaving behind pageants isn't the worst thing in the world." Rick argued. "I mean, your parents are pretty great about it compared to most but to be honest, pageants don't usually have a good affect on children's mental health. What with all the competitiveness, the focus on beauty above anything. I-It really doesn't do much but give kids emotional problems." After what he'd done recently, Lincoln felt more guilty upon hearing that.

"So, you're really okay with this?" Leni asked Rick.

Rick scowled. "Hell no! I'm gonna go kick that demon's ass!" He got out his portal gun. "Who's with me?"

Lola shook her head. "No I...I think I need to just not be angry for a while."

Seeing Lola still needed comforting and that Leni wasn't a violent person anyway, she also shook her head. "I'll pass."

Lana put her fist in her palm. "Count me in! No one messes with my sister!"

"I guess I'll go as well." Lincoln added. Rick then opened a portal which he and Lana walked through. Before Lincoln followed them, he turned to Lola. "By the way, when those Dairyland tickets come, you can have mine Lola."

Lola brightened up a bit. "R-Really?"

Lincoln nodded. "It's the least I could do after doing the pageant behind your back."

Lola smiled. "Thanks, Lincoln." Lincoln then went through the portal.

...

Mr. Needful had just about finished packing up. He smirked to himself. How he would have loved to see the look on Rick's face once he saw what became of his granddaughter. His eyes then widened in surprise as a portal appeared in his shop and an angry looking Rick stepped out along with his two grandchildren. "Rick?"

Rick punched him in the face before kneeing him in the stomach. "Stupid mother-!" He then grabbed his head and brought it to his knee. "How'd you like that huh?" Rick then threw him to the floor and starting kicking him.

Lincoln winced at the violent sight. "Well, I can see where Lola got her temper from."

Lana shrugged. "Eh, he deserves it." She then gave a devious grin and pulled out her hammer, whacking Mr. Needful's knee with it, causing him to cry out in pain.

"Ugh! Why?"

Lincoln shrugged and decided he might as well join in, throwing a couple punches himself.


	11. The Citadel Of Ricks

The whole family were sat in the dining room eating breakfast when Rita turned to Lynn Sr. "So, must be nice to finally own your own restaurant, huh?"

Lynn Sr. smiled proudly. "Oh, it's great! Got a little crazy with all those promotions yesterday but I think we all really pulled through!"

Lincoln scratched the back of his head while the other siblings gave an apologetic smile. "Yeah, sorry about that again."

Rick then smiled at Lynn Sr. "Well hey, congrats on running your own business. You know what I say, if you're not doing what you love then, you know, why bother?"

This pleasent moment didn't last however as a portal suddenly opened up with a Rick and a Lincoln stepping out of it. Unlike the regular versions of Rick and Lincoln, the Rick wore a black shirt, had dark circles under his eyes and a scar across his lip while the Lincoln had an eyepatch on his right eye. Evil Rick then got out a laser gun and shot the other Rick in the head, killing him and causing the family to scream in horror. Evil Lincoln then used a tranquiliser gun on the other Lincoln, knocking him out. Evil Rick and Evil Lincoln then carried the other Lincoln off while the family could do nothing but scream and panic.

...

Rick had decided to do some work on an experiment before he ate breakfast. As he worked, Lisa came in with the usual expression on her face. "Good morning, Rick."

"Hey." Rick replied. He didn't turn to face her as he was still concentrating on his work.

After a short moment of silence, Lisa cleared her throat. "Grandpa Rick, I'd like to inquire as to when your next 'adventure' will be as I believe it should be my turn to participate as I have yet to join you on one of them."

Rick then turned to her. He had a somewhat apprehensive look on his face. "Uhh, yeah. Don't really have any plans soon. Besides, I don't really see why you'd want to come anyway. I mean you're already a genius in your own right. I don't really think I have much to teach you."

"On the contrary." Lisa argued. "I believe I could learn much from your approach to science. For example, I have corrected past mistakes and implemented tracking chips on Lily and the parental units."

Rick had a slightly disturbed look on his face. "Yeahhh, look Lisa, you're young. Mistakes happen. Don't worry about going on adventures. You're fine, really."

Lisa huffed but decided to argue no more as she left the garage to eat breakfast. Once she left, Rick decided to check if Lisa had put a tracking chip on him too. Lisa entered the dining room where the rest of the family were eating breakfast and sat next to Leni, who could tell something was up with her sister. "What's wrong, Lisa?"

Lisa sighed. "Rick won't take me on his adventures. He believes he has 'nothing to teach me'.

Leni gave a comforting smile and patted Lisa's shoulder. "It's okay, Lisa. Grandpa Rick doesn't take me on many adventures either."

"At least you've been on some." Lisa thought but didn't say out loud. Just then, a mopey looking Lola came in. She said nothing as she sat down to eat breakfast.

Leni gave Lola a sad look. "Poor Lola. I wish there was someway to get her pageant career back." She whispered to Lisa.

"A fruitless endeavour considering that incident was broadcasted for all the world to see." Lisa whispered back. "I doubt she'll be accepted into any pageants after that."

Leni looked confused. "Why would we need fruit though?" Lisa sighed and shook her head.

Soon Rick came into the dining room. Once he sat down, Lynn Sr. came in holding a large plate of pancakes with a candle on top. "Hey Dad! Happy one year anniversary of coming back into our lives!" Lynn Sr. said with a smile as he placed the pancakes in front of Rick.

"Oh, I get it. Regular pancakes are already shaped like flying saucers." Rick tasted one of the pancakes. "Mmm! Oh man this is good! You know, you really should be running your own restaurant Lynn."

Lynn Sr. chuckled. "Well, maybe someday."

Suddenly, a portal opened up. To everyone's shock, three armed Ricks in guard uniform stepped out. "Rick Sanchez of Earth dimension L-137." One of the Guard Ricks said before pointing at Rick. "You are under arrest for crimes against alternate Ricks by the authority of the transdimensional council of Ricks."

An angered Lori stood up. "Hey, what is going on here?"

"Neutralise the Lori." Guard Rick ordered.

The other Guard Rick pointed his gun towards her. "Wait! No!" The Guard Rick shot her, freezing her in place.

"Lori!" Rita screamed.

"Dad!" A panicked Lynn Sr. shouted.

"Rick!" Lincoln shouted.

Rick stood up. "Everybody relax. If I know these a-holes, and I am these a-holes, they just wanna haul me to their stupid clubhouse and waste my time with a bunch of questions. Let's get it over with."

Guard Rick pointed at Lincoln. "Bring his Lincoln." Guard Rick then eyeballed Lisa. "And take his Lisa too. Don't want anyone trying any rescue attempts."

The guards then moved in to place handcuffs on the three. Rick started to get mad. "Leave my grandkids out of this!"

Guard Rick crossed his arms. "You lost the right to have a say in these things when you refused to join the council."

"Wait, wh-wh-wh-what about Lori?" A distressed Rita asked as the guards dragged Rick, Lincoln and Lisa towards the portal.

"Will you at least unfreeze my granddaughter?" Rick asked before being dragged into the portal. Guard Rick took out another gun and fired at Lori before going into the portal.

Once Lori unfroze, she looked around for a bit in alarm before sighing. "Can I not just have a normal day for once?"

...

Lincoln and Lisa gasped in amazement once they exited the portal. "Whoa, what is this place?" Lincoln asked.

"The citadel of Ricks. It's the secret headquarters for the council of Ricks." Rick answered. Lincoln and Lisa stared in wonder at the utopia-like citadel which seemed to be a mixture of metal structures and natural fauna, with numerous fountains, trees and distinct curved buildings. The whole place was populated with nothing but Ricks, Lincolns, Lisas and the rest of their siblings. Looking around, the two noticed a smartly dressed, long haired version of Luna playing violin for a small crowd, a version of their family which were all anthropomorphic rabbits (though all the siblings seemed to be the same age) and weirdly enough, a version of Rick and Lincoln that resembled kitchen sponges amongst many other versions of themselves.

As the Guard Ricks pushed them along, Rick continued explaining. "As you know, kids, I've got a lotta enemies in the universe that consider my genius a threat. Galactic terrorists, a few sub-galactic dictators, most of the entire intergalactic government; wh-wherever you find people with heads up their asses someone wants a piece of your grandpa." The group passed an activist version of Luan holding up a sign that said 'Save the trees' nearby a version of Lucy wearing a jersey and playing with a basketball before stepping onto an escalator. "And a lot of versions of me on different timelines had the same problem. So a few thousand versions of me had the" Rick then shouted to make sure everyone heard him. "INGENIOUS IDEA OF BANDING TOGETHER like a herd of cattle or a school of fish or those people who answer questions on yahoo answers."

Going onto the next floor, Lincoln could see even more versions of his family including a version of his siblings with their ages reversed with Lily being the oldest and Lori being the youngest, a goth version of Lincoln walking alongside a blonde version of Lucy wearing the same outfit she wore on Valentines day, a version of his family wearing nineties fashion and a very odd version of Luna. "Is that a version of Luna as a lamp?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "Geez, you're easy to impress. Yeah, most timelines have a Rick and most Ricks have at least one of you kids. This place is a real who's-who of who's you and me."

"This can't be the only citadel right?" Lisa asked.

This caught Rick off guard. He turned his head to look at her. "Huh?"

"With infinite universes, I find it highly improbable that you could only ever have us as your grandchildren. What about versions of you that had different grandchildren?"

Rick looked impressed. "You catch on fast Lisa. Yeah, there's more. Each citadel has at least one thing in common to keep things a bit more simple. This one? I have a son named Lynn, he marries a Rita and they have any combination of you eleven kids."

Lisa wasn't quite satisfied. "What if among us, our parental units had another completely different child?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "That's probably another citadel. Maybe. Look I'm not that much of an expert on citadels. This place isn't exactly my cup of tea." The group then entered a large hallway leading to the council. "I say the point of being a Rick is being A Rick."

The Guard Rick in front of them turned to Rick with an angry expression. "Save your anti-Rick speech for the council of Ricks, terror-Rick!"

Rick scowled back. "Hey, save your Rick rules for the sheep-Ricks, Rick-pig!"

"Fuck me, pal."

"Fuck you? No no no no no, fuck me!"

The group then reached a large door which opened before them revealing a large, circular, golden room filled with a crowd of alternate Ricks, Lincolns and his siblings. This was the council hall as Lincoln looked up to see six Ricks with strange hairstyles, sat upon their own golden thrones on top of a giant golden stage. The spokesperson of the council, Riq IV, started the trial. "Bring up the holograms!" Various holographic screens of Ricks that had been murdered in different ways popped up. "Twenty-seven Ricks brutally murdered in their own timelines. An unprecedented Rick-icidal epidemic. What say you, Earth Rick L-137?" A couple of the Luans in the audience couldn't help but giggle at the pun.

"You think I did this?" Rick walked towards the council. "Why am I the first Rick you pull in every time a Rick stubs his toe?"

Riq IV scowled. "You have a history of non-cooperation with the council."

"Yeah, so does the scientist formerly known as Rick!" Rick argued. "Wh-wh-wh-why isn't he here in handcuffs?"

Riq IV pointed towards the screen. "Because he's dead too!" Rick's mouth gaped as he looked at an image of a Rick resembling Prince lying dead on the floor. "Who else would you have us question? You fit the profile. Of all the Ricks in the central finite curve, you're the malcontent. The rogue."

"I'm the Rick." Rick stepped forward and pointed at the council. "And so were the rest of you before you formed this stupid alliance. You wanted to be safe from the government so you became a stupid government. That makes every Rick here less Rick than me." The Ricks in the crowd started murmuring with each other. "Yeah, murmur it up, d-bags. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got pancakes back home with syrup on top of them. They're about to hit that critical point of syrup absorption that turns the cakes into a gross paste. And I hate to get all Andy Rooney about it, but I think we all like fluffy discs of cake with syrup on top! And I think we also like to be accused of crimes when there's evidence! So as they say in Canada, peace oot!"

Riq IV smirked. "Evidence? Good idea. Scan his portal gun!"

A Guard Rick took Rick's portal gun from his lab coat. Rick started to look sheepish. "Oh, come on. Don't look at another man's portal gun history. We-we all go to weird places."

The guard placed the gun into the machine showing the holograms. A diagram of Rick's portal gun history came up on screen. Some of the entries started flashing red. "Yes, but it appears you alone have been going to the exact timelines and locations in which the murders occured!" Riq IV stated.

Rick raised an eyebrow while looking at the screen before frowning. "What? That's Rick-diculous. I'm obviously being set up!" The same Luans giggled again.

Riq IV stood up along with the rest of the council. "Earth Rick L-137! The council of Ricks sentences you to the machine of unspeakable doom, which swaps your conscious and unconscious minds, rendering your fantasies pointless while everything you know becomes impossible to grasp. Also, every ten seconds it stabs your balls."

"I've heard enough." Rick jabbed his elbow into the Guard Rick behind him, causing him to accidentally shoot Rick's handcuffs off. He grabbed his arm, taking away his gun and throwing him towards the other Guard Rick. He then shot Lincoln's and Lisa's handcuffs off. "Run, kids!" Rick grabbed his portal gun as he and his grandchildren ran out of the hall.

One of the Lenis was about run with them before her Rick grabbed her arm. "Uh uh, not you!"

Running through the corridor, Rick noticed a group of Guard Ricks chasing after them. He then started firing random portals behind him. The Guard Ricks started getting attacked by the various creatures that came out of these portals. The three eventually came up to a balcony. Rick grabbed Lincoln and Lisa and jumped off. Rick then fired a portal at a platform beneath them which the three then fell through.

...

The three arrived in Buttworld, a dimension filled with butt mountains which the three safely bounced off of. Lisa then realised what she was stepping in. "Hmm, I wonder if this has the same properties as regular fecal matter."

Lincoln plugged his nose and frowned at Lisa. "Lisa! Gross!"

Another portal opened up with a group of Guard Ricks coming out of it. Rick acted fast and fired another portal for the three to escape through while the Guard Ricks chased after them.

...

Linka frowned as she held the two megaseeds. "Um, what exactly did you want me to do with these, Grandma Rita?"

Rita took a swig from her flask. This wasn't going to be easy to explain. "L-Look Linka, customs aren't gonna let us take those seeds home so you're gonna have to do me a real solid, Linka. I need you to take these seeds and...well you know." Rita pointed towards her backside.

Linka's jaw dropped in mortification. She then threw one of the seeds at Rita's head. "Ew! You are such a gross old woman, there's no way I'm doing that!"

Rita held her hands up to stop her before she threw the other seed. "Okay, okay geez. Guess it'll just have to be you, Lars."

Lars slumped. "Sigh."

The three were then caught off guard as a portal opened up with Rick, Lincoln and Lisa running out of it. Rick quickly activated another portal in front of him as the three ran into another universe. The Guard Ricks then followed behind.

...

A portal opened up under a sign that said 'Welcome to Greasy Grandma World. Population: A whole lot sonny!' The three exited the portal and ran past all the greasy grandmas that were standing around before Rick fired another portal. The Guard Ricks were still chasing after them.

...

As the Loud sisters looked through the hospital bedroom window with teary eyes at the state of their severely injured brother, they all felt both horrified and deeply ashamed of what they had done.

"Seriously? What the hell were all of you thinking?" A furious Rick berated his granddaughters. "I mean, I know my adventures aren't the safest but I never let this shit happen! You kids are messed up! You need some serious help!"

Everyone then jumped to the side as yet another portal opened up with Rick and his kids coming out with Rick again, quickly firing another portal to escape through while the Guard Ricks kept on chasing.

...

The three now entered a dimension full of strange bird creatures that kept repeating 'doopidoo'. Before they continued, Rick fired a bunch of portals to throw the guards off before the three went through one of them. The Guard Ricks frowned once they entered this dimension. "They could have gone into any one of these." The Guard Ricks started to moan. None of them seemed to notice a notepad and a mug come out of one of the portals.

...

Rick smiled as he held his portal gun. "Y-You kids ready for another adventure?"

Lincoln shrugged but still smiled. "Ready as I'll ever be I guess."

Naruto, a blonde ninja wearing an orange jacket and also happened to be Rick's adopted grandson, pumped his fist. "You know it, Rick-sensei! I'm prepared for whatever you got! Believe it!"

Rick stared blankly at his adopted grandson before turning to Lincoln. "Seriously, how did this happen?"

A portal then opened up causing Naruto to do an over the top anime reaction before falling over. Rick, Lincoln and Lisa stepped out of it. "That'll keep 'em busy for a while." Rick stated.

The three left the house and started walking down the streets of the alternate Royal Woods. Lincoln turned to Rick. "So did you really kill your other selves or...?"

Rick frowned. "Course not, Lincoln! How could that profit me? Someone out there is killing Ricks, and the council ain't gonna stop thinking it's me until we clear our names. By finding the real Rick killer."

"Would it not be wise to go home and prepare ourselves with your weaponry?" Lisa asked.

"Not really my style, Lisa. Besides, your home is most likely swarming with Ricks right now."

...

The Loud House was now filled with Guard Ricks prepared to act on any sign of Rick coming back or getting in contact with anyone in the house. Each Rick had brought one of their own grandchildren, each one also a guard though there didn't seem to be a Guard Leni, Lisa or Lily. One of the Guard Ricks had just placed a device on the telephone. "Alright, listen, Leni. If Rick calls, this device is going to trace his location. You just gotta keep 'em on the phone for thirty seconds or longer."

Meanwhile, Lynn Sr. and Rita were talking to another Guard Rick. "So lemme get this straight. You live in a place where the only people there are you or one of our kids?" Lynn Sr. asked.

"That's about right." Guard Rick answered.

Rita look concerned. "But what about us?"

Guard Rick scratched his chin. "Well, you might see a stray version of you two, a Clyde, a Ronnie Anne or even a Bobby every now and then but it's primarily just me and the kids."

This didn't help Rita's concern. "That's it?"

Guard Rick started getting annoyed. "Hey, don't look at me, I mean, my version of Lynn and Rita are dead so." Rita and Lynn Sr. then backed off, looking slightly disturbed by that comment.

Lori had also decided to start a conversation with her alternate self. "So you live in a place that's literally just filled with other versions of your family and you're just okay with that?"

"Affirmative." Guard Lori replied curtly.

"But what about your life in Royal Woods? What about Bobby?"

Guard Lori raised her eyebrow. "Who's Bobby?"

Lori's jaw dropped. "You don't know Bobby? I mean, he's only the love of my life!"

Guard Lori looked slightly grossed out. "Like, ew. I'm literally not even into guys." Lori went silent at that.

Luan approached her alternate self with a hopeful look on her face. "Say, you wouldn't happen to have any comedy tips for another Luan would ya?"

Guard Luan shook her head. "Sorry. I wouldn't be a guard if I'd have been able to make it in comedy."

"Oh." Luan looked down in disappointment.

Suddenly the phone started to ring, making Leni nervous. One of the Guard Ricks made a signal to Leni to answer the phone as they were tracing the call. Leni picked up the phone. "Hey Leni, it's Rick." Rick greeted through the phone.

"Um, h-hey Grandpa Rick."

"So listen, the heat's on and there's nowhere left to turn so we're just going to fly my spaceship and crash it into an asteroid."

"What?" Leni screeched.

"Is that cool with you, dog?"

Leni panicked. "No, wait please! Lisa! Linky!"

"I got it! The call's coming from..." The guard Rick stood up and grinned at Leni. "inside the house!"

All the Guard Ricks started to laugh at Leni's expense. Leni's lower lip started to tremble before she ran upstairs. The rest of the family looked disgusted at the Ricks. "How could you do something like that to Leni? I know she's not your granddaughter but she's still Leni!" Rita reprimanded the Ricks.

One of the Guard Ricks shrugged. "Eh. I never had a granddaughter called Leni."

...

Rick, Lincoln and Lisa were now sat, having a meal at Jean Juan's French Mex Buffet. "If we're lucky, our family will probably be keeping the other Ricks busy with stupid questions but it won't be long until they're onto us." Rick explained as he started fiddling with his portal gun to see what the problem was.

Lincoln decided to ask something that had been on his mind for a while. "So, why is it just us and our other sisters at that citadel?"

"Because, Lincoln, you and your sisters are camouflages." Rick answered plainly.

"Camouflages?"

"Ricks have a very distinct and traceable brainwave due to our genius." Rick explained. "The best way to hide from an enemy's radar is to stand near someone with complementary brainwaves that make ours invisible. As luck would have it, every Loud kid does the trick, give or take some exceptions. For me and most other Ricks, Lincolns are usually best for this. See, wh-wh-when a Rick is with a Lincoln, the Rick waves get cancelled out by the Lincoln waves."

Lincoln frowned at this. "Wait, is that the only reason you take me on these adventures?"

"Eh, not exactly." Rick explained. "I could easily just bring Lori to every adventure and get the same results. I take you because you're more level headed then the rest of your sisters. And you handle the more disturbing stuff pretty well. Maybe even better than Lucy. I could just bring you alone too but I include one of your sisters so that they don't feel left out."

Lincoln felt slightly better after hearing that. "Oh. But why not take all of us then?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "Oh yeah, make my life harder by giving myself eleven kids to look after instead of two. Great idea, Lincoln."

Lisa had been thinking about what Rick said before joining in. "So, would I be right in assuming that our brainwaves are too similar which is why you never take me on your adventures?"

Rick grinned though it seemed disingenuous. "Uhh yep. Got me there Lisa. Your brainwaves just aren't as complimentary as your siblings are. Sorry."

Lincoln frowned as another thought came to him. "Wait, are you saying I'm stupid?"

"Ehhh, it's a little more complicated then that Lincoln." Rick tried to explain. "It's not just dumb waves beat smart waves. I mean, Leni's brainwaves are kinda similar to mine too so-"

This shocked both of the siblings. Especially Lisa who interrupted him. "What?! That's preposterous. How could Leni and I have similar brainwaves? She's...you know..." Lisa tried to think of a nice way of saying dumb.

"Look Lisa, I know Leni's not always quite there but I wouldn't call her outright stupid. I mean, she's pretty good with fashion right?" Rick argued.

Lisa then scowled as she realised something. "You still bring Leni on adventures with you."

It didn't seem like Rick heard her as his portal device started beeping. "Oh, shit dog! My portal gun was hacked remotely kids, obviously by the real killer to frame me. But I was able to trace the signal. Come on, let's go!" The three then moved to get up before Rick looked over at the entrance to see two Guard Ricks and a Guard Lincoln had entered the restaurant. "Uh-oh!"

One of the Guard Ricks started to address the waiter. "'Scuse me, we've tracked a trio of dangerous criminals to this exact location. They look exactly like us, so in order to avoid confusion I'm going to mark us each with a red X right now." The Guard got out a red marker and drew red Xs on his and the other two guards heads. "That way if someone has a gun and we both tell you to shoot the other one because they're the evil one, you'll know who's lying."

The guards suddenly heard a window shatter. They ran over to see that outside the broken window, Rick was flipping them off as he had stolen their police hovercraft. As they set off, the guards rushed outside to chase after them while a waiter then ran outside with them. "Hey, you didn't pay your bill!"

The Guard Rick pointed towards his forehead. "The red X! Red X!"

...

After tracing the signal to the right universe, Rick flew the hovercraft to a strange green planet. "Hmm. Bet there were probably better ways we could have got out of that situation huh?"

"I believe both Lincoln and I heard you the first time you stated that, Rick." Lisa snarked.

Rick looked out the window at the swamp-like planet. "Man, this place is wayyy off the grid. This guy does not wanna be found."

Lisa crossed her arms, scowling. "Better not have a Lisa with him then. What with how much of a detriment they are."

Rick raised his eyebrow at her. "Lisa, you're making a bigger deal out of this than it is."

The three then noticed a dome come into view in front of them. Lincoln noticed something disturbing about it. "Oh my gosh! There's a bunch of people strapped all over that building!"

Rick looked closer. "Not just people Lincoln. Lincolns." Upon approaching the dome, Lincoln and Lisa could see that the entire dome was covered top to bottom in naked Lincolns, who were strapped to the surface and were being tortured with contraptions that stabbed their sides constantly. The Lincolns constant yelling could be heard.

Lisa's jaw dropped in horror. "That's...disturbing."

Lincoln looked distressed. "Who would do something like this? This is horrible."

"Well, one Lincoln's enough to hide from the bureaucrats. But you g-you get a whole matrix of Lincolns and put 'em in agonising pain. That creates a pattern that can hide even from other Ricks, motherfucker." Rick landed the hovercraft in front of a cave leading to the inside of the dome. "I fiddled with a concept like this once." Lincoln gave Rick a disturbed look. "On paper, Lincoln, on paper! I wouldn't do this, it's barbaric overkill. I mean, you could accomplish the same result with like five Lincolns and a jumper cable." As the three got out the hovercraft, Lincoln gave Rick another look. "Which I also wouldn't do! I'm just saying, it's bad craftsmanship." Lisa said nothing as she was secretly thinking about the idea herself.

...

Leni sat on her bed, curling up to herself when one of the Ricks entered her room. This Rick looked different from the others as he had bowl-cut hair, buckteeth and a goofy look on his face. "Hi Leni." Doofus Rick greeted.

Leni sighed. "Are you gonna tease me too?"

Doofus Rick looked worried. "Oh gosh no. I-I just saw what those other Ricks did and wanted to cheer you up. You know, those guys are pretty mean to me too. Probably because I'm not as smart as them."

Leni gave Doofus Rick a sympathetic look. "Aw don't say that. You're smart too right? At least you're not as dumb as me."

Doofus Rick gave Leni a sympathetic look back. "Aw you shouldn't say that about yourself either. I mean everyone has their special talent. What's yours?"

Leni thought for a moment. "Well I'm really into fashion. And I make my own clothes."

Doofus Rick grinned. "Wow, you make your own clothes? Well judging by what you're wearing now, I'd say you were a fashion expert." Leni blushed at the compliment. "Oh, hang on, let me introduce you to someone." Doofus Rick then left the room. Leni could hear faint murmuring outside the room before Doofus Rick came back in with an alternate version of Lisa in tow. This version of Lisa had her hair in twin tails. She seemed shy as she held onto Doofus Rick's leg. "This is my Lisa, uhh...Lisa!"

Leni gave Doofus Lisa a friendly smile. "Hi Lisa." Doofus Lisa hid behind Rick's leg and turned away.

Doofus Rick chuckled. "Aw, she's shy. See I never had kids of my own so I had her assigned to me after I saw her getting teased by some of the other Lisas for not being as smart as them. Kinda reminded me of me actually."

An idea then occurred to Leni. "Hey, do you think I could borrow Lisa for something?"

...

Walking through the cave, Lisa couldn't help but bring up her grievances again. "So, is it possible you could tell me the real reason you don't take me on your adventures instead of your inane excuses?"

Rick looked around to make sure no one was hearing them. "How many reasons do you need? Now for the love of God, be quiet! The point of this is to get the drop on the guy!"

Lisa bristled in anger. "Well since I'm such a detriment anyway, I might as well keep asking until I get a real answer."

An annoyed Rick then turned to face her. "Fine, you want to know why? If you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a fan of other Ricks. So why would you want to be one too?" Lisa's eyes widened in surprise at Rick's answer.

Suddenly, a bunch of lobster-like aliens emerged from the nearby corridors and surrounded the three. Rick gave Lisa a deadpan look. "Great, nice work Lisa." Rick elbowed one of the aliens, tearing their claw off. He then delivered a few kicks to some of the other aliens before picking up one of the claw and throwing it at the last alien's head, stabbing it. Unfortunately, more aliens started to emerge, causing Rick to slump. "Urrgh".

The three then heard slow clapping from behind them. They turned around to see Evil Rick slow clapping alongside Evil Lincoln and two other aliens behind them. Evil Rick grinned. "Ooh, look at you, L-137! You're-aren't you a tough customer?"

Rick folded his arms as the evil counterparts approached him. "The slow clap? Really? Kinda played out, dude."

Evil Rick put his hands on his hips. "Not in this dimension it isn't. In fact, heh, I invented it and nobody else has ever even done it here before."

Rick slow clapped. "Well lah-dee-dah."

Evil Rick slapped his hand. "Hey, that's mine!"

The lobster aliens moved in to grab the three. Evil Rick then led the aliens through the cave. Rick glared at him. "I don't like the look of that Rick, kids. We gotta escape."

Lincoln gave Rick a worried look. "But how?"

Rick was silent as he was still trying to think of a plan. Lisa was also quiet as she looked like she was in deep thought. Evil Rick then pointed to a corridor to the right while he took Rick to the left. "Take his Lincoln and his Lisa away." The aliens dropped Lincoln and Lisa to follow Evil Rick only for a laser gun to be aimed at their backs.

"Move!" Evil Lincoln barked at them.

Lincoln raised his hands. "Ok, ok!"

As the three walked through the corridor, Lincoln thought he could try appealing to the other Lincoln. "You know how this place works? Why not help us shut down the grid and rescue all those other Lincolns?"

Evil Lincoln chuckled. "Yeah, no. That's not happening. Besides, you know us Lincolns. We aren't exactly 'good luck'." Evil Lincoln pressed some buttons on a panel next to a metal door.

Lincoln gave Evil Lincoln a confused look, not understanding what he meant by that. "Huh?" The door opened up. Inside the room was a crowd of scared, shivering Lincolns. Evil Lincoln said nothing as he pushed both Lincoln and Lisa inside the room. It seemed that Evil Lincoln gave Lisa much rougher push as she ended up falling to the floor. Lincoln turned to glare at him. "Hey!" Before he could try escaping, Evil Lincoln shut the door on him. He looked back towards all the other Lincolns as he wondered how he was going to get out of this situation.

...

Evil Rick had Rick strapped down to an examination table in his lab while an alien stood beside it. Next to Evil Rick was his computer and a panel of screens showing the Lincolns being tortured. Evil Rick spread his arms. "Ahh, isn't it beautiful?"

Rick gave Evil Rick a dull stare. "Yeah, yeah, looks like payday at Neverland ranch in here. Zing!"

The alien started giggling. "Hehehehehehehehehe."

Rick smiled. "That guy got it."

Evil Rick grinned and raised his finger. "Ah-ah Rick, quiet. You're missing my symphony." Evil Rick turned on the volume, allowing the Lincolns sounds of pain to come through. He started conducting as if the sounds of pain were his own orchestra.

"Hey, I'll take it over Mumford and Sons. Zip!" Rick snarked.

"Hehehehehehehehehe."

"This guy is on it!"

Evil Rick gave Rick an annoyed look. "He's not laughing at your dumb jokes, Rick. That's just a random noise it makes every ten seconds."

"Hehehehehehehehehe."

Rick looked down in disappointment. "Awww."

"See, Rick, you're not as clever as you think you are. I wanted you to find me. We're not so different, you and I." Evil Rick activated a holographic display showing pictures of Rick from different universes.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Yeah, duh!"

"See this right here, Rick? I crunched the numbers, I created a spectrum of all the Ricks. I listed 'em out from most evil to least evil." Evil Rick started scrolling through the pictures until he got to a picture of himself. "Here's where I am." He scrolled a couple pictures to the right. "And look at right here's where you are, Rick." He scrolled to one of the Ricks inbetween them. "This guy right here? Super weird."

Rick raised his eyebrow. "I get it. So you want me to team up with you to take down the council of Ricks, right? Is that where you're going with this? 'Cause that's where I'd be going."

"Please. I think I'm doing pretty good on my own. I'm simply going to download the contents of your brain, and then kill you."

Rick's mouth gaped in horror.

...

Doofus Lisa twirled around as she admired the green swing dress that Leni had her try on. Leni gushed at her. "Oh my gosh, you are totes adorbs! I could never get Lisa to try these on."

Doofus Lisa blushed in embarrassment. "Th-thanks."

Doofus Rick then came into the room, holding a plate of brownies. "Anyone want some ovenless brownies?" He then looked at Doofus Lisa. "Aw, that's so cute!"! He turned to Leni. "Hey, is it possible for me to buy that dress off of you?"

Leni grinned. "Sure!"

Doofus Rick put the brownies down and got out his wallet. Once he handed Leni the money, she gasped as he had given her a 1000 dollar note. "Whoa, that's like, a lot of money. Is this okay?"

Doofus Rick waved his hand dismissively. "Ah don't worry about it. This dress is worth every penny."

Leni smiled. "Aw, thanks Grandpa Rick." A disturbing thought then crossed Leni's mind. "Wait, no, I shouldn't be doing this!"

Doofus Rick and Doofus Lisa gave Leni looks of concern. "W-What's wrong Leni?"

Leni had a worried expression. "I already have a Grandpa Rick and a Lisa. I shouldn't be trying to replace them like this!"

Doofus Rick then looked embarrassed and scratched the back of his head. "Aw geez, I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to replace your real grandpa or anything."

Leni sighed. "No, it's fine. It's just...after those other Ricks made fun of me, I thought...maybe Grandpa Rick doesn't think much of me too."

Doofus Rick gave Leni a reassuring smile. "Aw don't think like that. I'm sure your grandpa loves you. If it turns out that he is innocent, why not just ask him what he thinks of you?"

Leni thought about it. "I guess I could try. Say, how long were you staying again?"

"Until we find your Rick." Doofus Rick answered.

"You should totes come visit some time after."

"Heh, well you know, it gets busy working for the Citadel militia but if I ever have the time, we'll come 'round to visit. You'd like that Lisa?" Doofus Lisa nodded her head. Leni smiled and gave Doofus Rick a hug.

...

Lincoln banged his fists on the door. "Hey, let us out of here!"

Lincoln was then approached by a group of Lincolns wearing robes and face paint. "There is no escape, my son. We will find our peace in the next world." The Religious Lincoln then handed Lincoln a pamphlet titled 'The Good Lincoln'.

"So you guys are just giving up?" Lincoln asked.

Religious Lincoln put his hood down, revealing a bald head. "We're giving in to the power of the One True Lincoln. One day he will return!"

All the Religious Lincolns put their hands together in prayer. "Praise the One True Lincoln!"

Lincoln scoffed and threw pamphlet away before approaching Lisa, who still looked deep in thought. "Lisa, are you still mad at Grandpa Rick?"

"Not mad. Just confused. In what way would me having any similarities to Rick be considered a negative?"

Lincoln could think of many examples from the top of his head. "Look, Grandpa Rick does a lot of dangerous and kinda immoral stuff. I think what he's saying is, he doesn't want you getting yourself into those situations."

Lisa considered Lincoln's words for a moment. "I see."

"So, do you have any ideas on how to escape and save Grandpa Rick?"

Lisa looked around. "Perhaps if we were able to rally all these other Lincolns into fighting back, we may be able to overwhelm them.

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "How do we do that?"

Lisa adjusted her glasses. "Well, they are you. You'd probably know better how to rally them than I."

Lincoln thought for a moment. He stepped on a nearby box the religious Lincolns were praying at and shouted to get everyone's attention. "Everyone, look at me!" The Lincolns all turned to look at Lincoln "My name is Lincoln Loud, from Earth dimension L-137! Listen, I know you guys are scared but you can't give up. We're Lincolns! There's never been a situation we couldn't get outselves out of. We're the man with a plan! Or men? Whatever, the point is, we don't need Rick to get us out of this situation. We can do it ourselves! Together!"

"This sounds like something the One True Lincoln might say." One of the Lincolns muttered.

Religious Lincoln pointed towards the main Lincoln. "He is the one true Lincoln!" The Lincolns picked Lincoln up, cheering for him.

The door then opened and one of the aliens stepped in. "Hey, keep it down!"

The Lincolns all let out a battle cry as they charged at the alien. He and the other aliens ended up getting trampled as the Lincolns stormed the place.

...

Back in Evil Rick's lab, Evil Rick had attached a device to Rick's head, allowing him to see his memories on a holographic screen. "You've lived quite a life, Rick. It's a real shame you're not gonna be around to see it through." The screen then went through some of Rick's memories of his grandchildren. Rick saw various moments of him hanging out with his grandchildren on his adventures. It even showed the time when he first met Lori, back when she was a toddler. Rick's eyes started to tear up. Evil Rick grinned. "You're crying? Over these kids?"

Rick scowled at his evil counterpart. "No, I'm just allergic to dipshits."

"Ugh, pathetic. We both know that if there's any truth in the universe," Evil Rick got up into Ricks face, grabbing onto the table. "It's that Ricks care about these kids about as much as they care for each other!"

Suddenly, to Evil Rick's surprise, an army of Lincolns broke into the room. They overwhelmed the aliens, killing them before surrounding Evil Rick. "Do your worst, you little bastards! Kill me! Do it! Do it!" The Lincolns all teared into Evil Rick. There were so many Lincolns attacking him that Rick couldn't even see Evil Rick any more.

Rick then noticed Lincoln and Lisa run up to him. "Lincoln! Lisa! Thank God, get me out of this."

Lincoln unbuckled Rick from the table. Taking the device off his head, Rick got up and went over to the computer. He pressed a button that disengaged the Lincoln shield. The Lincolns all let out immense sighs of relief as they slid down the dome. Rick then picked up a phone and started dialing in his house number.

Back at the Loud House, one of the Guard Ricks answered the phone. "Yeah, hello?"

"Hey, what do me and O.J. not have in common?"

"Huh? Wh-who is this?"

"I found the real killer, biitch!" Rick hollered down the phone. "Get over here!"

...

Leni was showing off some of the dresses she had made to Doofus Rick and Doofus Lisa when one of the Guard Ricks came in. "Yo ding-dong! We're done here. Time to go."

Doofus Rick held onto Doofus Lisa's hand. "Well Leni, I guess this means goodbye."

Leni sighed. "Yeah. I'll see you later then."

Doofus Rick gave Leni a comforting smile. "Hey, remember what I told you. You're not dumb. And I bet you, your Rick would say the same thing."

Leni sniffled but still smiled. "Thanks Rick." Doofus Rick and Doofus Lisa gave Leni one last wave before they left her room.

...

Rick, Lincoln and Lisa stood aside as the Lincolns were still beating on the aliens and Evil Rick. A couple portals then opened up with some Guard Ricks coming in to round up the Lincolns. Another portal opened with two of the Rick council members coming in holding towels along with Riq IV. "So what's gonna happen to all these other Lincolns?" Lincoln asked Riq IV.

Riq IV stared as the guards tried to calm down the Lincolns. "They'll go back to their families, attend school regularly, play video games, read comics in their underwear...poor little Rickless bastards."

...

Back at the citadel, in the council hall, Rick, Lincoln and Lisa stood before the council as Riq IV spoke to them. "Earth Rick L-137, the council apologises for its false accusation." He opened a box that another councilman was carrying and took out eleven vouchers, each with one of Rick's grandkids' faces on it. "And in the way of reparations for our terrible mistake, we would like to compensate you with these vouchers for a free replacement of any grandchild, in the event that your current grandkids should-"

Lincoln and Lisa scowled while Rick waved his hands. "Uh, guys? Not a good time. Come on, kids, let's hit it." Once Lincoln and Lisa turned away, Rick took the vouchers. Just in case.

Walking through the citadel, Lisa cleared her throat to get Rick's attention. "I must apologise for my earlier behaviour. Sometimes these inane human emotions get the better of me."

Rick sighed. "You know there's nothing wrong with showing emotions right? I mean, when the hell do you see me repressing how I feel?"

Lisa held her hands behind her back. "Duly noted. Also, about what you said earlier. I understand your concerns but I can assure you I am fully capable of taking care of myself. I do not wish to mimic you, only to learn from your example. With that in mind, is it possible you could reconsider taking me on your adventures?"

Looking at Rick's face, Lincoln could tell he seemed somewhat disappointed. Even still, he relented as he sighed again. "Alright, fine." Rick opened a portal allowing the three of them to go home.

...

Back in Evil Rick's lab, a Guard Rick stared at Evil Rick lying in a pool of his own blood. "What a mess..."

"Pride cometh before the fall. I guess he got what he deserved." Remarked another Guard Rick as he knelt down near Evil Rick.

The first Guard Rick then noticed something on Evil Rick's head. "What is that?"

The second Guard Rick turned his head around, revealing some wires coming out of his head. The second Guard Rick held his hand out to the first Guard Rick. "Hand me the laser defibrillator."

"Hey guys!" Doofus Rick said, coming in. "Uh, c-can I help?"

After being handed the defibrillator, the second Guard Rick scowled at Doofus Rick. "No! Go clean the toilets! Maybe you'll make friends with some turds!"

"You make us ashamed to be ourselves!" The first Guard Rick added.

Doofus Rick lowered his head sadly and walked away. The Guard Rick used the defibrillator on Evil Rick's head and opened it up, revealing electronics woven into his brain. The first Guard Rick knelt down next to him. "My god! I've seen this technology before"

The second Guard Rick pulled out a chip from Evil Rick's head. "This Rick was being controlled remotely, puppeteered by somebody else. This is the receiver!"

"Yeah, but where's the transmitter?"

...

Evil Lincoln walked among the other Lincolns as they headed towards the spaceships that would take the Lincolns back to their respective universes. Looking around to make sure none of the Ricks were looking, Evil Lincoln pulled off his eyepatch which had the transmitter on it. He dropped it on the floor and crushed it beneath his foot. After tucking in a couple wires under his eye, he continued following the other Lincolns.

...

After waiting in the garage, a portal soon opened up with Rick, Lincoln and Lisa stepping out of it. "Guys! You're back!" Leni exclaimed. "Lisa, Grandpa Rick, could I talk to you for a moment? I need to ask you something."

Lincoln shrugged and left the garage. Rick raised his eyebrow at her. "Uhh, sure?"

"Do you guys think I'm...dumb?"

Rick blinked in surprise. A thought crossed him that the other Ricks might have made fun of her. "Well, to be totally honest Leni, no I don't think you're dumb."

Lisa thought about what to say. "I...don't believe you're dumb either."

Leni grinned. "Thanks you guys!" She pulled both of them into a hug. Rick and Lisa gave each other a look as they both felt equally awkward about this.


	12. Funny, Ricksy Business

"Bye Mom, Bye Dad!" Lincoln said as all the Loud siblings stood outside to say goodbye to their parents as they were currently putting their suitcases into Vanzilla as they were about to leave for a day long getaway. Rick also stood outside to bid them farewell as he was currently holding Lily.

Meanwhile, Lori seemed distracted as she was glaring down at something on her phone. "What's wrong, Lori?" Leni asked, noticing Lori's sour mood.

"Ugh, it's Carol." Lori said as she showed Leni a selfie of Carol at a party she had hosted the previous week that she had posted online. The selfie had 101 likes which especially annoyed Lori as Carol had only just started up an account on the app she was using. "Just typical. Perfect Carol Pingrey has to show off and one-up me in everything I do." Lori grumbled as she thought back to all the other times Carol had one-upped her.

The Loud parents had just finished putting in their suitcases as Rita had gone over to talk to Rick. "Now, since you're in charge, Rick, I know you can handle the kids so all that I ask is that they all stay safe and that the house doesn't become too much of a mess while we're gone."

"Yeah, yeah, don't worry about it. You just have fun!" Rick didn't sound like he cared that much.

Rita gave Rick a stern look. "I mean it Rick. If we come back and see something wrong with the kids then you won't be going on any more adventures with them."

Rick gave Rita a reassuring smile. "Listen, you have my word as a caregiver, everything's gonna be fine. And if not, like you say, no more adventures or whatever. It's like that old song 'blomp blomp-a noop noop a-noop noop noop'. You guys know that song?" The siblings shook their heads. "From Tiny Rogerts? You never heard of it? You know, the black, effeminate guy from the fifties?" None of them had a clue what he was talking about. "No-nobody? A-All right, whatever. Look, who cares? Just go on your stupid trip." Rita narrowed her eyes at Rick as she got in the van with Lynn Sr..

"Ugh, I'm so sick of it!" Lori suddenly exclaimed as the van drove off. "I'm sick of Carol always showing off. I am not letting Carol waltz in here and show me up again!" Lori slammed her foot on the ground and put on a look of determination. "I swear on my senior parking space, I'm going to host the best party Royal Woods has ever seen!" Hearing this, the Loud siblings started to cheer for her while Rick gave her a baffled look.

Everyone then followed Lori as she went back into the house and into the kitchen as she looked for food for her party. Lincoln then approached her. "So, when's the party start? 'Cause I've been working on a few party tricks lately." Lincoln then ripped his pants off and fell to the floor. "Knee farts!" Lincoln started making fart noises with his knees. His other sisters laughed at the display while Rick lightly smirked at him.

Lori wasn't as impressed. "Sorry, Lincoln. This isn't that kind of party. This is going to be a sophisticated party."

Lana rolled her eyes. "Bor-ing!"

Lori put her hands on her hips. "Well, I'm glad you feel that way, because you're not invited. It's just for the older kids. That being Leni, Luna and, I suppose Luan."

This got a few moans from the younger siblings. Luan shook her head. "Sorry, I'm probably gonna miss most of it. I've gotta go perform for someone's birthday party today."

Luna gave her a sympathetic look. "Yeesh, bad timing, huh sis?"

"Uh, Lori, you can't have a party." Rick suddenly interjected.

Lori looked at Rick in surprise. "Wait, what?"

Rick then walked up to her face. "Because I'm having a party, b-I-I-I-itch!"

Lori folded her arms and gave Rick a miffed look. "What do you mean you're having a party?"

Rick gave her a wry grin. "What do you think I mean? Don't you know what a party is? Because from what you've said so far, you don't."

Luan snickered, earning a glare from Lori. She then glared at Rick. "Listen, this is my chance to one-up that showoff Carol and I don't want you ruining it."

Rick raised his eyebrow at her. "That's why you party? Boy, you really are seventeen."

"Well, why do you party?" Lori asked.

"To get wr-wriggedy, wriggedy, wrecked, son!" Rick hollered, getting a giggle out of Lily.

Lori pointed at Rick. "You just keep your weird, alien friends away from mine."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Yeah, same to you."

Seeing as they were done arguing, Lincoln decided to ask. "So, are we invited to your party Grandpa Rick?"

Rick grinned. "Hell yeah! And while you're at it, invite whoever the hell you want too. Go nuts!"

Lynn, Lincoln and Lucy all grinned as they all got out their phones to start texting invites. Lana was about to too until Rick walked over and pointed to her, Lola and Lisa. "Except you three."

Lana and Lola slumped. "Aw come on! Why not?" Lana moaned.

Rick gave them a stern look. "Look, Lori has her ridiculously high standards and I have mine. And you three are too young for this party. You're just gonna have to stay in your rooms for the day."

Lisa shrugged. "Fine. I wasn't interested in a social gathering anyway." She left to go back to her room, silently cursing the fact that she wouldn't be able to show off her chocolate fountain.

"But that's not fair!" Lola whined.

Rick shrugged. "Sorry. Them's the breaks. Don't worry about food, either me or someone else will bring in some party snacks every now and again." Rick reached into his coat pocket and got out a Meeseeks box. He pressed the button, spawning a Meeseeks.

"I'm Mr. Meeseeks! Look at me!"

"Take Lana and Lola to their rooms and keep them entertained until the party's over. Make sure they don't leave."

Mr. Meeseeks saluted him. "Can do!" He then guided the disgruntled twins back to their room.

"Poo poo." Lily then spoke.

Rick then looked at her. "Oh yeah. Gotta do something about you too. Looks like it's the Lilyboree for you."

Lori raised an eyebrow at Rick. "The Lilyboree?" Rick then got out his portal gun and fired a portal. Curious, Lori decided to follow Rick through it.

...

Lori looked around. The portal had led them to an alien city on an asteroid. Lori couldn't tell if it was nighttime or if she was looking into space itself as she looked up at the sky filled with strange, flying vehicles. She also saw a sign indicating they were in 'Furp Rock Plaza'. She followed Rick into a building that she assumed was some kind of daycare. Her eyes then widened in surprise as she saw another Lori in uniform sitting at the front desk. The other Lori gave them a friendly smile as they came in. "Hi, welcome to Lilyboree daycare. Are you here to drop off your Lily?"

"You know it." Rick replied before handing her Lily.

Lily stared at the other Lori in confusion, looking back and forth between the two Loris. "Poo poo?" Caretaker Lori then handed Rick a pen and clipboard in order for him to fill out the details.

Lori gave Rick a questioning look. "So, you created a daycare just for Lily?"

Rick scoffed. "You kidding? I wish I had this idea. Well...I did have this idea, but I wish I was the version of me that owned it. That guy's rich."

"Don't forget to check the reason for your drop-off." Caretaker Lori reminded him.

Rick had nearly finished filling in the details. "This should be obvious to you Lori, but Lilys aren't exactly great companions for adventures. This is a totally unregistered cross-temporal asteroid. Here they can romp and play with other Lilys. Or any other version of your siblings that are still babies. It couldn't be safer." Rick passed the clipboard back to Caretaker Lori. She then handed Rick a ticket which Rick handed to Lori as they made their way out. "Hey Lori, hang onto this. That number's your sister. If you lose it, we're not gonna be able to get her back." Lori's eyes widened as she then held a tight grip on that ticket.

...

Luan made her way down the street, carrying her stuff on her way to the birthday girl's house. Truthfully, she was a little thankful that she wouldn't be able to attend the party straight away. She had wanted to try out some new material on the party goers, however she hadn't exactly thought of anything that she was comfortable with actually using. Ever since those aliens kidnapped her and Rick, she had struggled to actually find a comedic style that worked for her. There were plenty of times when jokes popped up in her head but she rarely ever used them out of fear of falling flat. The things that her siblings had said were still fresh in her mind and she wanted avoid coming across as annoying by any means necessary. Hopefully, she could prepare herself with some material before she eventually came back to the party.

Luan sighed inwardly. At least she still had parties going for her. It wasn't too hard to entertain little children for her at least. Of course, this was one of the rare occasions where she'd be performing for someone's 13th birthday party. Of course, Luan was always prepared. After asking a few questions to the mother, it looked like Luan would be in for a mope fest. It wouldn't be her first one though. She knew how to appeal to this type of crowd. Which was why her hair was tied back up in her old ponytail and she completely decked out in mime gear.

...

Both parties were now in full swing as Lori, Leni and Luna's friends had arrived along with Rick's friends which consisted of all sorts of aliens across the galaxy. While the teenagers were somewhat shocked at the existence at aliens at the party, Lori insisted that they ignore them as their party was down in the basement. Meanwhile, Lynn, Lincoln and Lucy were having a blast partying with the aliens. Lynn was somewhat busy showing off her various athletic skills to the aliens as she waited for her friends to arrive while Lucy, now wearing a fortune teller's hat, had set up a séance stand which gathered the interest of some of the aliens. Lincoln, meanwhile, was performing some tricks for the aliens, currently juggling some glasses with one of his legs behind his head. Suddenly, the doorbell rang, distracting Lincoln and causing him to drop the glasses and breaking them on the floor. "Oh, whoops." He pointed his thumb to the door. "I'll be back guys, just let me answer this." Lincoln ran over and opened the door, revealing the Santiago siblings. "Hey Bobby! Ronnie Anne!"

"Hey, what's up bro?" Bobby offered Lincoln a fist bump which he reciprocated.

Ronnie Anne simply smiled. "Hey, Lincoln." Both of their mouths then gaped as they looked at the aliens at the party. "Uh, whoa. Are those real?"

Lincoln smirked. "Yep. Told you aliens were real."

The sound of footsteps running upstairs could be heard as Lori ran out of the basement to greet Bobby. "Bobby! You made it!" She was currently wearing a light blue dress with white shoes.

"Hey babe!" Bobby smiled. "You didn't tell me there'd be aliens here!"

Lori's expression soured. "Yeah, just ignore them. They won't bother our party." Lori then guided Bobby towards the basement.

Lincoln and Ronnie Anne rolled their eyes at the two. Lincoln then tried to shut the door before a hand from outside got in the way. Lincoln smiled as he opened the door. "Birdperson!"

"Hello, Lincoln." Birdperson greeted. "The beacon was activated. Who is in danger?"

Yet again, Ronnie Anne's mouth was agape. "Birdperson? Lincoln, how do you know these people?"

Before Lincoln could answer, Rick then came in to greet Birdperson. "Birdperson!"

Birdperson exchanged a fist bump with Rick. "I am pleased there is no emergency."

"Oh, there's an emergency, all right." Rick put an arm around Birdperson. "A babe emergency! When's the last time you got laid, 'Pers?"

Though his expression didn't change, Birdperson's head tilted slightly downwards. "It has been a...challenging mating season for Birdperson."

"Then it's time to get your beak wet tonight, playah. Go have some fun out there Birdp-Bird-Birdperson."

As Birdperson went to join the party, Lincoln approached Rick with a raised eyebrow. "So, how many people did you invite again?"

Rick frowned in thought. "Uh... people? Mm, six." As he said this, a UFO came down near the house as a group of excited small green aliens came out and made their way into the house. "Yo! What up my glip glops?!"

...

Upon entering the basement, Bobby could feel that the atmosphere for this party was much different from Rick's party. He could see that all of Lori, Leni and Luna's friends had attended including Sam, Chaz and Lori's closest friend, Tammy. A girl with short dark brown hair and a blue sweater which exposed her midriff. The basement had been lightly decorated as classical music was playing. Everyone was standing around, looking somewhat bored. Especially Tammy. He wondered if they were also curious about the aliens at the other party, upstairs. Though the party didn't look that interesting to him, he didn't want to upset Lori. "Party's pretty sweet, babe."

Lori grinned. "Thanks, Boo-Boo Bear." Lori then got out a magazine and flipped to an article titled '50 ways to throw a sophisticated party'. "Now for Item #8: Make your party all that with some sparkling chitchat." Bobby then yelped as Lori dragged him over to Tammy, Chaz and one of their other friends. "So, has anyone done any travel lately? I hear the Galapagos Islands are beautiful this time of year."

None of them knew how to respond to that. Tammy raised an eyebrow at Lori while Chaz attempted to follow up. "Uh...me and Tad went to the quarry and threw rocks at ducks."

Lori frowned. She then heard an amplifier screech as blaring rock started playing courtesy of Luna, who was sat on the dryer next to Sam as she was playing guitar for a small group. Lori ran up to Luna to stop this. "Hey, guys!" Luna stopped playing. "Did you check out the origami station?" She showed the guests some origami before lightly pushing them away before talking to Luna in private. "Luna, what are you doing?" She whispered harshly.

"Just trying to liven up the proceedings, dude?"An irritated Luna replied.

"Well, it's way too noisy." Lori pointed at her magazine. "Item four clearly states that easy listening makes for easy talking."

"What's item five? Put everyone to sleep?" Luna snarked, earning a snicker from Sam.

Lori pointed at her. "You are on warning!"

Lori then noticed that Leni had just taken a picture of them with her phone. Leni smiled. "Super cute! I'm totes posting this."

Lori then grabbed Leni's phone to look at the photo. "You totes are not! This is not sophisticated!" She handed Leni's phone back to her and struck a pose. "Post this."

Leni took the photo. "Awesome! You look so constipated."

Lori frowned in frustration. "Sophisticated, Leni!"

Meanwhile as the two were talking, Sam spoke to Luna. "Dude, this party's kinda lame. Wanna ditch it for the one upstairs?"

Luna pretended to think about it. "Gee, I dunno-yeah let's go!" The two grinned as they left to join the other party. Seeing them leave, Lori shrugged and decided to not pay them much mind.

...

Maggie, a dour looking emo girl with pale skin and long, black hair, had a deep scowl on her face as she crossed her arms while waiting for the performance. The girl wore a sky blue T-shirt along with some dark gray boots. She also had a purple jumper wrapped around her waist. The last thing Maggie wanted on her birthday was a party. They were way too bright and peppy for her. Though she at least took solace in that all her friends turned up anyway to share in her misery. Worse yet, her mother had hired some kind of entertainer from 'Funny Business Inc.'. Maggie could only pray this wasn't some kind of lame clown act.

Maggie then blinked in surprise as the girl came on to the homemade stage, tapping a cane on the floor. To Maggie's pleasant surprise, it seemed like she was in for something different as Luan walked forward, only to walk into an invisible wall. She then felt around as if she was in an invisible box that started to shrink down on her. "Oh, I get it. She's, like, trapped in a box. That's exactly how I felt when my mom said I couldn't dye my hair purple." Maggie remarked, her fellow emo tweens nodding in agreement.

Luan then imitated climbing a ladder. Of course, since she was miming, she wasn't actually going anywhere. "Wow. It's like the soul crushing pointlessness of seventh grade." One of Maggie's friends remarked, getting another nod from Maggie and the other tweens. By the time the performance had finished, the audience gave her a slow clap that got a bit more enthusiastic as some of the tweens cheered for her. To Maggie's surprise, she actually found herself smiling. As miserable as this day was, at least she got something out of it.

After finishing the performance, Luan went backstage, wiping her make up off and letting her hair back down. She then started to pack her stuff up. She had managed to think of some material so she wanted to hurry up and get home in order to try it out.

"Hey."

Luan jumped slightly. She'd think that living with Lucy, she'd be used to getting snuck up on. She turned to see that the birthday girl herself had come to see her. She put on a smile. "Oh, hey, so did you enjoy the act."

Maggie seemed to be a perpetual frowner. Though she was now frowning less intensely then when Luan got there. "Yes. I've never seen anything like that. That was, like, such an artistic way of expressing yourself."

Luan raised an eyebrow. "You've never seen a mime before?"

"Not in person. Do you do other acts like it?"

Luan shrugged. "Eh. Mime is kind of a side thing for me. I'm more of a comedian myself."

Maggie looked somewhat disappointed upon hearing that. "Oh."

"Not much of a fan of that, huh?"

Maggie awkwardly looked away. "Not...really." Truthfully, she hated comedy. None of it ever made her laugh anyway.

Luan shrugged again. "Well, guess it's not for everyone." Luan had just finished packing up. "Anyway, I gotta go. I've got another party back home. You have a nice birthday now." Luan waved at her as she rushed off back home.

Maggie then noticed her mother approach her, holding a plate with a slice of cake on it. She looked around. "Oh, where did Luan go?"

"She left. Just now."

"Oh shoot, I didn't have chance to offer her any cake." An idea then came to Maggie's mother. "Maybe you could catch up to her. Could you be a dear and hurry after her to give her this?" She handed Maggie the cake.

"Whatever." Inwardly, Maggie was glad that she had an excuse to get away from this party. Of course, she wouldn't make any real effort to catch up with Luan. The longer she was away, the better.

...

The doorbell rang again. This time, Lynn answered, seeing her best friend, a girl with light brown hair, a long nose and buck teeth along with her other friends. "Margo! Guys, you made it!"

"Sup, Lynnsanity." Margo greeted. Predictably, Lynn's friends' gasped in shock upon seeing all the aliens at the party. Margo pointed to them. "A-Are those..."

Lynn gave her a smug look. "Aliens? Yep. Told ya they were real."

Another one of Lynn's friends, a tall girl with her blonde hair in a ponytail, came in to take a look. The girl walked in with a crutch as she had one of her legs in a cast. "Whoa...and I thought this story I heard the other week was weird."

Lynn raised an eyebrow. "What are you talking about, Paula?"

"You ever hear about that story about that high school teacher from Echo Creek that got turned into a troll?"

...

Luna and Sam made their way to the living room where a large group of guests, along with Rick, were watching and cheering as Lincoln and Ronnie Anne faced off against each other in a Dance Battle video game. Luna walked up to Rick with a grin. "Hey, Grandpa Rick, rockin' party dude!"

Rick grinned back. "Of course it's rockin'! Who do I look like? Lori?"

Squanchy then came up from behind Luna, holding a bottle in a bag. "Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro!"

"Aw! Squanchy!"

"Sup Squanchy bro!" Luna gave him the rock on sign.

"Oh, hey Luna." Squanchy turned back to Rick. "Is there a good place for me to squanch around here?"

Rick looked slightly apprehensive. "Uhh...yeah. Mi casa es su casa, dawg! Just make sure you do it where no one'll see you, there's kids at this party."

Squanchy didn't seem too bothered about that. "All right! I like your squanch!" He then ran off to find a spot where hopefully, no one will find him.

The doorbell then ran once again, causing Lincoln to slip up his game and lose it. "Dang it."

Ronnie Anne snickered. "Nice one, Lame-O."

Lincoln pointed his thumb to the door. "That's probably Clyde and the others. Just let me get that." Lincoln ran towards the door to open it, seeing Lincoln's four friends, Clyde, Rusty, a ginger haired, farmboy named Liam and a bespectacled, redhead named Zach. "Guys, you made it!"

"Hey Lincoln." Clyde greeted. Loud rock music started playing in the living room. Lincoln's friends walked in to have a look, only for their jaws, besides Clyde's, to drop upon seeing the aliens.

"Aliens?! So you weren't making it up this whole time?" Rusty asked.

"Well dang, never thought I'd see the day!" Liam remarked in a southern accent.

Zach seemed ecstatic. "I knew it! I knew deep down they were real. Are they friendly?"

Lincoln scratched the back of his head. "Uh, Grandpa Rick said they were, so..."

"Well, what are we waiting for?" Zach asked before he rushed in along with Rusty and Liam to talk to the aliens. Clyde, however, didn't seem to be in a rush as he was spraying some breath spray in his mouth.

"What are you doing?" Lincoln asked.

"It's a party right? What better time to finally work the nerve up and ask out Lori?" Clyde stated before swooning over the thought of Lori.

Lincoln groaned. Despite his annoyance, he decided to just let Clyde make his own mistakes. Interfering would probably just cause more trouble. "Just try not to nosebleed all over the carpet please."

Clyde then went off to join everyone else at the party. Lincoln then heard a familiar voice from behind him. "Splendid party, eh Lincoln?"

Lincoln turned around and blinked in surprise. "Dr. Bloom?"

Dr. Bloom grinned. "Good to see you again, Lincoln!"

Lincoln looked confused. "But, how did...?"

"Me and Rick had just recently finished constructing a portal that leads directly to the park. I can now get in and out with ease. It won't be too long now until we're opened for business."

Lincoln wasn't sure how to feel about that. He really didn't like the idea of a theme park being in Ronnie Anne's body without her knowledge and he really didn't like having to keep it secret. Though on the brightside, Lana'll be happy to hear about this. "So, there's no risk to Ronnie Anne, is there?"

Dr. Bloom's smile dropped. "Oh goodness, no. We've updated our security since last time. Plus any kind of germ or virus that sneaks in will immediately be killed. I'd argue she's healthier than most people your age actually." Lincoln sighed in relief. Dr. Bloom then started to look around. "By the way, where's Lana? Is she here?"

Lincoln shook his head. "Lana's in her room. She's too young for this kind of party." Lincoln then started to wonder how the twins were doing.

...

"Would you like some tea, Mr. Meeseeks?" Lola offered.

"Ooh, look at me, I sure would!" Mr. Meeseeks was currently wearing a dress as he sat with Lola and some of her toys for a tea party. Lola imitated pooring some tea for him.

Meanwhile, Lana stood to the side, folding her arms and looking impatient. "Are you done with him yet? Mr. Meeseeks doesn't want to play at your dumb tea party."

Lola gave Lana an annoyed look. "I only just started. Besides, he'd rather play with me then your icky pets." Both of them started to growl at each other.

Mr. Meeseeks smiled nervously. "It's okay. I'm Mr. Meeseeks! I'll do whatever either of you want!" Neither of them listened as the two started to brawl each other over him while Mr. Meeseeks could only watch nervously. "Oh dear."

...

Back downstairs with Lincoln, Rick had come by to greet Dr. Bloom. "He-hey Bloom! I was thinking you weren't gonna make it."

Dr. Bloom smiled. "Oh, it was no trouble really. To be honest, I'm surprised you invited me at all, really."

Rick put an arm around him. "Ah come on Bloom, you know we couldn't have a party without ya!"

...

Back in the basement, Lori's guests were starting to get more bored and even more curious about the party upstairs. Lori approached Tammy and Bobby with her magazine. "I don't get it, you guys. I've been following the list, but people don't look like they're having fun."

"I think they're having fun." Bobby tried to reassure her.

"Bobby, Joey is literally doing his homework." She said, pointing at the boy sat in the corner. Lori then smiled. "Hmm...I know what my mistake was!"

Tammy folded her arms. "You're listening to some dumb magazine instead of actually having a party?"

Lori frowned. "No." She opened her magazine. "I left out Item 24!" Lori then rushed over to the other guests. "Okay, everyone, line dancing!" Everyone started to groan. "Don't worry. It's easy. Just-"

Lori was then interrupted as one of her friends approached her. "Um, Lori...um...can I get a drink?"

"Sure, Becky. As soon as I get a good grapevine out of you." Lori laughed.

Becky awkwardly laughed with her before pretending to make a ringing sound. "Brring! Oh, there's my phone!" She got out her phone. "Oh, what's that, Mom? You stubbed your toe? Really hard? And you need me to come home right away? Oh, sorry Lori. Family emergency."

Becky breathed a sigh of relief as she left. Another guest started following her. "Oh, uh, sorry. She's my ride." Most of the guests then started to leave, all claiming that Becky was their ride.

Lori looked around to see who was left before noticing Leni and Chaz were about to sneak off. She went to try and stop them. "Wait, you guys! Where are you going? We haven't, uh..." Lori checked her magazine. "...made vision boards yet?"

Chaz leaned in to whisper to Leni. "I don't need a vision to know I'm bored." He then smiled at Lori. "Awesome party, Lori." He then left. Leni gave Lori an apologetic smile before following him.

Bobby and Tammy approached Lori with sympathetic looks. Bobby tried to cheer her up. "Don't feel bad, babe. I mean, a stubbed toe? That is pretty serious."

Lori looked down in disappointment. "Eeh. Nice try, Boo-Boo Bear. But I know my party was a bomb."

"If you don't mind me asking, why did you try to throw a party like this?" Tammy asked.

Lori sighed. "I wanted to try and throw a better party then the one Carol threw. I thought a sophisticated one would be the way to do it."

Tammy rolled her eyes. "Ugh, this again? Look, Lori, no one cares which of you two is better." She then placed a hand on Lori's shoulder. "You need to just get over this stupid rivalry. We didn't come here to help you one-up someone, we came here to have fun."

Lori rubbed her arm. "Yeah. You're right. I'm sorry. I can't believe I've been so obsessed with trying to beat Carol Pingrey. Maybe she is better than me at everything but who cares?" She smiled at Bobby. "I still have lots of great things in my life, like a really amazing boyfriend for starters."

Bobby smiled back. "Aw, thanks babe."

Lori then looked at Tammy. "And a really great friend." Lori gave a wry grin. "That isn't afraid to be brutally honest."

Tammy shook her head, smiling. "I don't know what you'd do without me, Lori."

Lori then heard footsteps behind her. She turned around to see Lincoln had come down. He gave her a concerned look. "I saw everyone leaving. Are you okay?"

Lori sighed. "I'm fine."

Lincoln smiled. "Well, we're all hanging out upstairs if you wanna come join us. I mean, it's nothing 'sophisticated', but-"

Lori smiled. "You know what? I think I'm done with sophisticated." Lori then tossed her magazine into the trash before following Lincoln out the basement along with Bobby and Tammy. Once she got out however, her eyes widened at the sight of one of the guests currently chatting with a weird amoeba alien. "Carol?! What's she doing here?"

Lincoln gave Lori a guilty look. "Ooh, sorry. We became friends after the park incident. I didn't think you'd mind too much if I invited her." Lincoln laughed nervously.

Lori let out a deep breath. "You know what? This is fine." She then walked over to Carol. "Um, Carol?"

Carol turned and gasped at Lori. She started to look nervous. "Uh! Uh. Hi Lori." She waved at her awkwardly.

"I know this is literally the most awkward thing in the world but, I just wanna tell you that, you win." Carol's jaw dropped. "You've been better than me at everything since kindergarten but, I'm okay with it. I can't live my life trying to compete with you anymore. Well, enjoy the party." Lori started to walk off.

"Lori, wait." Lori turned to face Carol. "You think I'm better than you?" Carol smiled sheepishly. "I kinda thought it was the other way around." Lori blinked in confusion. "I mean, you made the varsity golf team when we were freshmen. No one else did that. And you have ten siblings who all look up to you. And don't get me started on your hair; I will never have volume like that." She laughed and felt her own hair. "This takes like, six cans of dry shampoo, and it's still flat."

Lori was shocked that all this time, they had basically been in the same position. "Wow, so, all of our competing has literally been pointless?"

Both of them laughed in relief. "It's true. We're ridiculous. I'm so glad we're done with all this." Carol said.

"Me too. Hey, I just had a crazy idea." Lori put an arm around her. "What if we made it official by taking a selfie together?"

Carol grinned. "Shut up! Looking like this?"

Lori brought her closer and got her phone out. "Yeah! I mean, who cares, right?"

Tammy then got in between them, putting her arms around both of them. "Oh count me in, you two have no idea how long I've waited for this." The three then smiled as Lori took the photo. "So, you two ready to party for real now?" Lori and Carol grinned mischievously while some of the guests who had been watching the conversation started to cheer for them.

...

It had gotten dark by the time Luan had arrived home. Coming in, she blinked in surprise as she saw a large group crowding around and cheering for Lori, Tammy and Lori's supposed rival Carol. Looking around, it looked like everyone there was having fun. Without her.

Luan sighed. Despite having managed to come up with some material while she was out, seeing everyone have so much fun made her think twice about trying it. She didn't want to annoy anyone or spoil their mood. Slumping, she decided to make her way to the dining room to just sit down, not even bothering to change her clothes. The lights in the dining room were out as Lucy wanted to keep the room she had her séance stand in, next to the dining room, dark. Though there was still a bit of light coming in from the kitchen. Luan would hang out with her friends if she could but she wasn't exactly Ms. Popular at her school.

...

At Lucy's séance stand, Lucy was currently being talked to by a mechanical alien that was mostly made up of gears though he had some human like features such as his arms, legs and his bald head despite having gears for ears and a mouth. The guests behind him looked annoyed as he was holding up the line while Lucy just looked bored as she rested her head on her arm. The alien had been droning on for a while now. "The thing people don't realize about the Gear Wars is that it was never really about the gears at all."

"You know this is a séance right? Do you want me to try and find any of your ancestors from the Gear Wars or-" The doorbell then rang. Lucy took off her hat. "Sorry. I have something else I need to do. I'll come back later." The people in line let out moans of disappointment. Lucy walked over to the door to answer it. "Hey Haiku." She gave a small smile. "Hey Rocky."

"Hey." Rocky gave Lucy a small wave. He had the same bored expression on his face though he had traded his blue shirt for a black one.

"Hello Lucy." Haiku greeted. Lucy's best friend was a slightly older girl with pale skin and long black hair that covered one of her eyes. She wore a long dark purple dress with a black belt with a white skull on it. Despite having more friends from her Morticians club, these were the only two Lucy had invited.

"Did you bring it?" Lucy asked.

Haiku then revealed what she had brought behind her back. It was a spell book that Haiku had found somewhere.

Lucy nodded and moved aside to let them in. Rocky's mouth gaped while Haiku's visible eye widened at the aliens. "Are those...real?" Haiku asked, trying to hide her nervousness.

"Yes. I told you aliens were real." Lucy stated.

Haiku sighed. "My apologies for not believing you."

Lucy was about to lead the two upstairs to her room before the doorbell rang again. "Sigh." She answered the door to see a moody looking teen holding a plate of cake.

"...hey."

"...hey."

There was an awkward silence before Maggie spoke. "Do you know where I can find Luan?"

Lucy thought for a moment before pointing to her left. "I think she's in the dining room."

"Thanks." Lucy watched as the girl walked in and made her way to the dining room. She also watched as she jumped slightly at the sight of the aliens.

"She seemed nice." Lucy remarked before going off with Haiku and Rocky to her room.

After getting over the shock of finding out aliens exist, Maggie made her way to the dining room to find Luan sat at the table. She was surprised to see that Luan looked somewhat...depressed.

Luan blinked in surprise when someone placed a slice of cake in front of her. She turned to look at Maggie. "My mom thought you wanted some cake." Maggie explained.

"Oh, thanks." Luan thanked her. She was then caught off guard as Maggie moved to sit down next to her.

"What's wrong?"

"Huh?"

"You looked down. I just asked if something was wrong."

Luan raised an eyebrow at Maggie. "Why are you interested?"

Maggie shrugged. "I like to give an ear to people. Sometimes it helps to, like, talk to people outside of your family about your problems."

Luan scratched the back of her head. "Eh, I don't know."

Maggie then looked around. She then noticed a big, red, four eyed lobster alien walk by. He too seemed to be in a depressive state. She called out to him. "Hey, you." The alien turned to her and pointed at himself as if to ask if she was talking to him. She responded by patting the seat next to her. The alien came over to sit down. "What's your name?"

"Scropon."

"What's wrong?"

"Eh, you sure you wanna hear it? I don't wanna ruin the mood of the party."

"I'm, like, all ears."

Scropon sighed. "It's just...I've been in a pretty bad place ever since my planet was destroyed."

Luan's mouth gaped in shock. If Maggie was surprised, she didn't show it as she simply nodded. "If you don't mind me asking, how did that happen?"

Scropon made what looked like a scowl. "Grr. It was those Galactic Federation bastards! They tried to take control of our planet. Our leaders refused them. So the federation responds by destroying it all. Just like anything else that doesn't just bow down to the federation, those-" Scropon started swearing in an alien language. He sighed. "I'm just lucky I escaped when I did." Luan couldn't help but feel concerned upon hearing Scropon's story. She'd heard about this Galactic Federation before from Rick. Just what was going on out there?

Once again, Maggie nodded. "It must be terrible. I couldn't imagine what'd be like to be in your position."

Scropon waved his claw dismissively. "Ah, don't worry about it." He seemed to have brightened up slightly as he then stood up. "Anyway, thanks for hearing me out. It's nice to just get it off my chest, you know?" Scropon then left to join the party.

Maggie then turned to Luan. "You sure you don't want to talk?"

Luan shrugged. "Eh, what the heck. So, you know that I'm a comedian right? Comedy's always been something I'm passionate about. I used to crack jokes and puns with my siblings all the time." Maggie nodded. "But, one day, I heard my siblings talk about me. About how much they hated my jokes and how annoying I was. It almost made me want to quit comedy." She nodded again. "I talked to my Grandpa about it. He said if my jokes aren't funny, I should just make better jokes. Which is fair I suppose." Another nod. Luan then looked downwards. "But now, whenever I try to tell a joke, I just clam up. I keep thinking about what my siblings said about me. I just feel like I'm not good enough, you know? I don't want to annoy people again."

Maggie nodded again before speaking. "Would you like my advice? Feel free to say no."

Luan thought about it for a moment. "Shoot."

"You shouldn't care what people think. If you have a joke, just tell it."

Luan raised an eyebrow. "I thought you hated comedy?"

Maggie shook her head. "It doesn't matter what I think. If you want to tell a joke, just do it. Don't let anyone stop you from expressing yourself."

Luan smiled. "You know, you're right. I shouldn't get so upset whenever I get a negative reaction. How am I gonna know what works if I don't try anything?"

Maggie nodded. "Exactly."

Luan then gave Maggie a wry grin. "So what's your deal? What's got you so down?"

Maggie sighed as she leaned forward to rest her head on her arm. "Middle school."

"Oh yeah? What about it?"

"Everything. The immature idiots, the long, boring hours learning about nothing." Maggie's frown deepened. "The friends that turn into jerks and stab you in the back."

Luan nodded, not exactly a fan of Middle School herself. "Yeah, I know what you mean. I mean, Middle School? I think you'd find more mature people in a clown school!"

Maggie smirked slightly. "Hm."

"Did I just get a laugh out of you?"

Maggie frowned. "I don't know what you're talking about." Luan giggled in response as the two then kept chatting.

...

In the living room, Birdperson was sat down, watching Lincoln perform more tricks for the guests. Next to him, Tammy was sat on the armrest, stroking the feathers on his head. She had a flirty look on her face. "I like your feathers."

"They are designed to attract the attention of the female." Birdperson stated.

"It's working." Tammy used her other hand to stroke his chest.

"Tammy, I should let you know, I just got out of a highly intense soul bond with my previous spirit mate." Birdperson admitted.

"I'm not looking to get into a soul bond. I'm just looking for..." Tammy whispered something into Birdperson's ear.

"I believe Birdperson can arrange that."

Meanwhile, Rick noticed that Lori had entered the room. He gave her a smug look. "Well, look who decided to join us. What happened to your party?"

Lori rolled her eyes before smiling. "Well, my party was a bust. I admit, you threw the better party. Which is totally fine because unlike some people, I can admit when someone's better than me at something."

Before Rick could respond, the wall suddenly exploded. Out of the dust cloud, a tall man with a beard and a toothbrush moustache stepped in. He wore a top hat and some kind of vest over what looked like a mix between a tuxedo and a suit. While everyone looked at the man in shock, Rick covered his face, hoping the man wouldn't notice him. "Oh, great. Who invited Abradolf Lincler?"

Lori turned away from Lincler to look at Rick. "Uh, who again?"

"He's a crazed maniac." Rick explained as Lincler walked around, giving intimidating looks to the guests. "Just a misguided effort of mine to create a morally neutral superleader by combining the DNA of Adolf Hitler and Abraham Lincoln. Turns out it just adds up to a lame, weird loser."

Lincler scowled and tightened his fists upon noticing Rick. "Rick, you brought me into this world, a suffering abomination tortured by the duality of its being." He started to walk towards him, his voice getting louder. "But I shall finally know peace when I watch the life drain from your wretched body!"

"Heads up!"

"Oof!" Lincler wasn't able to react quick enough as Lynn, who was riding a bouncer, crashed into him, leaving him sprawled on the floor. Lynn was also racing with her friends as the rest of them came in, bouncing onto him. "Ow! Ooh! Ohoh!"

After watching the display, Bobby turned to Lori. "It's getting kinda crowded in here isn't it?" He gave her a flirty look. "Maybe we should go someplace more private?"

Lori giggled. "Oh, Boo-Boo Bear!"

Meanwhile in the other room, Clyde was taking a few deep breaths as steeled himself. "Okay Clyde, this is it. Just go in there and tell her how you feel. You can do this." He plugged his nose to prevent any potential nosebleeds before taking one last deep breath and walking in.

Unfortunately, Clyde's heart sank as the first thing he saw was Lori making out with Bobby. Clyde slumped. Who was he kidding? Lori was way out of his league. There's no way she'd go out with a geek like him. Even if they were the same age. Watching them both make out, it was almost as if time had slowed down for Clyde as his heart slowly broke.

"Knock it off, Slow Mobius!" Rick called out to a fat green alien carrying two staffs with clocks on them.

Slow Mobius giggled. "Ha ha! Sorry, dude! I'm just trying to show off my powers, bro!"

Clyde sniffled as he then made his way upstairs where less people were around. He needed to be alone for a bit.

...

Rocky looked around Lucy's room. It was almost completely dark with only a few candles to illuminate it. "So, what are we doing again?"

Lucy opened the book that Haiku gave her and pointed at one of the pages. "Haiku found a new kind of ritual for summoning spirits. I haven't heard from any spirits in a while so I thought we could try it." She hadn't heard from them since Valentines day actually, though she didn't tell them that.

Rocky shrugged. "Alright." He supposed if aliens were real, who's to say ghosts weren't real either?

Haiku got out some chalk and drew a circle with some strange patterns in it. She then sat down cross-legged next to it and offered her hands to Lucy and Rocky. "We need to sit in a circle and join up our hands." She explained. Lucy and Rocky then sat down next to her, the three of them linking hands. Haiku closed her eyes. Rocky watched in slight trepidation as Haiku started humming for a moment before starting the chant. "Oh-"

Lucy then suddenly gasped and stood up. Haiku opened her eyes as she and Rocky looked at her in concern. "Lucy? What's wrong?" Lucy looked like she had just seen something horrifying. Haiku and Rocky looked around but couldn't see anything.

"Uh! I! Err..." Lucy seemed on the verge of panicking before slightly calming down. "I-I'm sorry. You both need to leave."

"Are you okay, Lucy?" Rocky asked.

"Y-Yes. Sorry. I just need to be alone for a while. I'll be fine."

Despite their concern, Haiku and Rocky decided to respect Lucy's wishes and leave the room. Shutting the door behind them, the two glanced at each other before Rocky decided to go downstairs to see what his brother was doing. Haiku then noticed someone else upstairs. Clyde was sat there, curled up to himself, looking despondent. Haiku approached him. "Hi."

Clyde jumped slightly as he had been deep in thought. He looked at Haiku. "Oh, hey."

Haiku then sat down next to him. "Is something troubling you?"

Clyde let out a deep sigh. "Just trying to deal with the fact that the woman I love will never feel the same way about me."

"Who is it?"

Clyde got out a photo of Lori he had been keeping. "Her name's Lori. She's an older woman." He admitted, slightly embarrassed.

"That's okay. My heart belongs to an older man." Haiku got out a locket with a picture of her along with a picture of what looked to Clyde like a vampire. "He just turned 200."

Clyde chuckled. "Unrequited love. Am I right?" Haiku smiled in return.

...

Lori and Bobby giggled as they entered the garage. Lori shut the door behind her before putting her arms around Bobby. "Now, where were we?"

Lori and Bobby gave each other flirtatious grins. Before they could start making out though, Lori started to hear something strange. "Do you hear something?"

Bobby looked around for the noise. "Yeah, I think I hear something coming from that closet over there." He pointed towards Rick's closet.

Letting go of Bobby, Lori slowly approached the closet as the sounds started to become clearer. With trepidation, Lori grabbed the door handles. She gave a nervous look to Bobby before opening the closet. "Oh my God!" Inside was Squanchy using one hand to hold to hold up a rope tied around his neck and the other hand to do something Lori really didn't want to think about.

Squanchy turned to her with an angry look. "Hey, I'm squanching in here!"

"Oh God!" Bobby exclaimed, looking sickened.

"Oh, that is literally so disgusting!" Lori covered her eyes before stumbling backwards. "Ow!" She then accidentally bumped into one of Rick machines with a glass dome on top. This made the machine fall over and break the glass, letting out a giant, sphere shaped, green energy field that engulfed the entire house. Suddenly the house just disappeared, leaving behind a crater.

"Louds! You keep that noise...down..." Mr. Grouse shouted out the window before noticing the house had disappeared. After a moment, he shrugged. "Buncha weirdos."

...

The house reappeared on a blue, alien planet that had a green sky with visible planets. There were strange, giant plants and vines along with giant, green, gooey, creatures with multiple eyes and tentacles that were simply slithering around. There was a slight panic from everyone as the lights temporarily went out before coming back on. Lincoln's jaw dropped upon looking out the window, as did nearly everyone else's though Lincoln noticed a few exceptions. Carol looked more nervous then shocked. Tammy seemed somewhat tense while Birdperson didn't have much of a reaction. Zach, weirdly enough, looked more excited then scared. Rick then walked over to the front door and opened it. "Huh. Big star in the sky." He took a deep breath through his nose. "Oxygen-rich atmosphere." He looked at the giant creatures. "Wildlife here seems passive." He shut the door and turned back to everyone, smiling. "We'll be fine! Let's party!"

Luna shrugged and started playing her music again as everyone went back to partying. Lincoln then approached Rick with a look of concern. "Uh, Grandpa Rick, what just happened?"

Lori then came in with a guilty look on her face. Bobby followed behind her along with Squanchy, who was frowning at Lori. "Uh, I may have...broke something in the garage. Sorry."

Rick didn't seem too bothered. "Ah, don't worry about it."

"Are you sure we're all safe here?" Lincoln asked.

Rick waved his hand dismissively. "Positive. Here, come outside with me." Lincoln followed Rick out the front door. Rick then got out some kind of device to scan the area. He then pointed to the creatures. "See, those things don't even care about us. We're fine here."

Luan then came outside in a panic. "What's going on? Why are we in another dimension?"

"Blame Lori, not me." Rick stated.

"How are we gonna get back? What happens if our parents find out?"

Rick put a hand on her shoulder. "Relax, Luan, relax! It's gonna be fine. All we have to do is go out and find us some kalaxian crystals." Rick's device started to beep. "Oh, shit, motherfucker! Kalaxian crystals, Luan, just a short walk south of here."

"Well, what are we waiting for then? A bus? Let's go!" Luan attempted to drag Rick with her though he wasn't budging.

"Whoa, whoa, whoa. Luan, Luan, I-I can't go with you. I got to hang back and make sure everything stays cool here, you know? I mean, who knows what-what if somebody breaks something?"

"Yeah, I think I'll stay here too." Lincoln added, not in the mood for going on another adventure.

Maggie then stepped outside. "Uh, Luan. Not that I don't find this alien stuff, like, interesting but I didn't exactly tell my mom I'd be out this late."

Rick raised an eyebrow at the girl. "This a friend of yours? When did you start hanging out with emos?"

Maggie scowled at Rick. "Is that supposed to be an insult?"

Abradolf Lincler then stepped outside, holding a cold can to his aching cheek. "You guys have any aspirin?"

Rick grinned. "Oh, hey, Luan, this is perfect! You can take Lincler with you."

Lincler gave Rick a tired look. "Hey, man, I'm not going anywhere. I'm injured."

Rick scowled. "Shut up, Lincler. It's the least you can do for wrecking the living room." He shoved Lincler towards Luan before glancing at Maggie. "Hey, maybe your friend should go too. Don't need anyone killing the mood."

Maggie shrugged. "Fine by me."

Luan gave her a look of concern. "You sure you want to come? I know this all a little alien to you."

Maggie folded her arms. "It gives me an excuse not to stay at this lame party so..."

Rick raised an eyebrow before going back inside with Lincoln, leaving them to it. While Lincoln was concerned with everyone's safety, he also couldn't help but wonder how Lily was also doing.

...

If the Loud parents were able to see what was happening at the Lilyboree, they'd be utterly horrified.

A giant Fenton the Feel-Better Fox animatronic was in the centre of the room, dancing along with all the other Lilys as it sang.

"Cheer up, baby, don't you cry

No more tears, it's cheer up time

Laugh with me and we will be

Happy happy happy."

...

"What is going on out there?!" Lola screeched as she looked out the window.

Lana then came up to look out the window. "Whoa..."

"Hey kids, I'm Mr. Meeseeks, what's going on?" Mr. Meeseeks then looked outside. "Ooh wee, oh wow, that's crazy! Ooh geez!"

Lana started to get nervous. "Are we safe just staying in here?"

Mr. Meeseeks smiled and waved his hand dismissively. "Ah, don't worry, it's fine. Look at me!"

...

As Luan, Maggie and Abradolf Lincler walked down a blue path, Lincler had started to talk about his own troubles to Maggie who simply listened and nodded at him. "It's weird, 'cause I definitely think that all men are created equal. But, at the same time-"

Before he could continue, the device that Luan was carrying started beeping. "Guys, the crystals shouldn't be too far from here."

"Are those them?" Maggie said, pointing at the crystals sticking up from the ground.

Luan smirked at Maggie. "Well, clearly those are just flowers."

Maggie rolled her eyes. "Har har."

The two went over to collect them before Lincler spoke. "Wait. Something's not right." He looked around before he was suddenly attacked by what looked like a two-headed, blue lion-like monster, knocking his hat off and causing Luan to yelp in fear. "Get the crystals! I'll handle the beast!" Lincler shouted as he pointed towards the crystals. He then faced the monster as he put his hat back on. "Prepare to be emancipated from your own inferior genes!" Lincler started to wrestle with the monster while Luan and Maggie worked quick to collect the crystals. Luan managed to see the monster push Lincler behind a rock. Luan then heard a screeching noise as the monster was thrown over the rock, appearing to be dead. Lincler then came out from behind the rock, breathing heavily and bleeding from all the cuts on his face and chest. He slumped down on the rock.

Luan and Maggie ran over to him. "Lincler, come on! Let's get out of here!" Luan begged.

"Mein journey is over, Luan." Lincler stated, his voice hoarse. He groaned in pain before placing a hand on Luan's shoulder. "I have something important to tell you."

Luan looked at him, distraught. "W-What is it?"

"I...ugh.." Lincler then went unconscious.

Luan gasped. "I...Is he dead?"

Maggie then put an ear up to his face. "He's still breathing."

Luan sighed in relief. "We can't just leave him here." Luan put her head under his left arm. Maggie nodded and did the same with his right arm as the two dragged him back to their house. Thankfully for them, it wasn't too far from here.

...

The guests gasped as Luan and Maggie dragged in Lincler and lied him down on the couch. Rick approached them with a look of concern. "Whoa, geez. What happened to you guys."

Luan frowned at Rick. "We were attacked. I thought you said nothing out there was dangerous."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Well, I didn't account for every creature on this planet. I mean it's not as if Earth doesn't have predators too you know."

"Whatever. You need to help Lincler, he's really badly hurt."

Rick glanced at Lincler before turning back to Luan. He waved his hand dismissively. "Ah, don't worry about it. The guy's basically a superhuman. Just let him take a power nap and he'll be fine when he wakes up." Luan sighed in relief. "Anyway, did you get the crystals?" Luan handed Rick a bag of crystals. "All right, you did it Luan." Rick then took a crystal, put it on the table, started chopping it into dust with his credit card and then inhaled it in, causing his sclera to turn blue. He had a manic grin on his face. "And these babies just saved this lame-ass party! Wubba lubba dub dub!"

Luan's jaw dropped. "Wait, what? I thought those crystals were supposed to help us get home!"

"April fools! Hehe." Luan scowled at him. "I can get us home whenever I want to. But, listen, speaking of those crystals, can I get the rest of them? I'm starting to come down, Luan. Crystal kalaxian is a really strong, but fleeting high." Rick scratched his cheek.

Maggie was also scowling at Rick. "Wow. Your grandpa's, like, kind of a jerk."

Luan then took all the crystals and threw them out the front door. They then got snatched by one of the tentacle creatures. "How's that for a fleeting high?"

Rick looked distressed. "Aw no. Luan, why'd you have to waste them? Does anybody else have any more k-lax? B-Birdperson?" Birdperson shrugged. "Uh, Squanchy?"

"Don't squaunch at me."

Lori then came in to try and defuse the situation. "Ok, everyone calm down. Look, it's been a long night. In fact I literally don't even know what time it is so maybe it's best if we just end the party here." A few of the guests started to moan. "Remember everyone, there's children here. Their parents are probably worried about them by now." She then turned to Rick with an unamused expression. "Well, Rick?"

Rick sighed. "All right, all right, fine."

...

The house appeared exactly where it was before in Royal Woods. To everyone's surprise, it was already morning. Luan watched as all the guests left. Before Maggie left, she turned to Luan. "You know, me and my friends sometimes meet up just to vent about our problems. You can join us if you want."

Luan thought about it for a moment. "You know, I might just take you up on that offer." Maggie gave a slight smile before leaving.

Lincler fidgeted in his sleep before his eyes snapped open. "Revenge!" He sat up, looking around in confusion. "W-What happened?"

A tired looking Rick approached him. "Party's over. Get lost." Lincler sighed before getting up to leave. Rick then slumped over onto the couch, slowly falling asleep.

Lori's eyes widened as she looked around at the state of the house. "Wait...did literally no one think about how much of a mess this party would make?"

"Isn't that usually your job, Lori?" Lynn asked.

Lisa then made her way downstairs along with Lana and Lola as Mr. Meeseeks had just disappeared. The three looked around at the mess. "Aw man, I missed out." Lana bemoaned. Lincoln was also looking around at the damage.

"Hey."

"Gah!" Lincoln jumped before turning around. "Lucy, where've you been? You kinda just disappeared on us."

"Don't worry about it. It's nothing."

Lori had gotten out a trash bag as she attempted to try and clean the place. Luan folded her arms, frowning. "I don't know why you're even bothering Lori. Maybe we should just let Rick face the consequences for once."

Lincoln got slightly nervous as he overheard her. "Wait, didn't our parents say if something was wrong, we wouldn't be going on any adventures any more?"

Lori sighed as she decided to just keep on cleaning. Birdperson knelt down and picked up some trash for Lori. "May I assist you with that?"

"Huh? Oh, sure. Thanks." Lori said before taking the trash from him.

"Lori, Luan, do you know what 'wubba lubba dub dub' means?"

Lori frowned as she kept cleaning. "Isn't that just Rick's dumb catchphrase?"

Birdperson walked over to her. "It's not a catchphrase. In my people's tongue, it means, 'I am in great pain. Please help me'.

Luan scoffed. "He's probably just saying it as a joke or something."

"No, Luan. Your grandfather is, indeed, in very deep pain. That is why he must numb himself."

All the siblings had started to listen to Birdperson. After hearing this, Leni started to get concerned. "Grandpa Rick's in pain? What's wrong with him?"

Birdperson turned to her. "Not literal pain. Emotional pain. It is a burden that comes with the knowledge that Rick possesses." He turned back to Lori and Luan. "I will admit that Rick has his faults. There is no denying that. But I do not believe he is uncaring towards any of you. Rick has told me many positive things about all of you. Like about your potential as a comedian, Luan." Luan blinked in surprise. "However, if you truly hate Rick then it appears fate has presented you with an opportunity to free yourselves of him forever. I will not judge whatever your choice is but I advise you to choose carefully. You need to ask yourselves if you really care whether or not you're allowed to continue on your adventures together."

Lori then got a text on her phone. "Guys, Mom and Dad are literally gonna be home in a few minutes.

Birdperson made his way to the front door. "This is your moment, children. Choose wisely. Tammy!" Tammy then came by and jumped onto his back, holding onto him. Birdperson then opened the door and flew off.

Everyone then looked towards Luan and Lori as they seemed to be at odds with Rick the most. Luan sighed. "Where'd you think we'd be if Rick wasn't here?"

Lori took a moment to think about it. "We'd probably be staying at Aunt Ruth's right about now."

There was a short moment of silence before Luan spoke. "We've gotta wake Rick up."

Everyone then crowded around Rick, shouting at him to wake up. Rick sat up. "W-W-What's happening?"

"Grandpa Rick! You have to do something! Our parents are nearly home!" Lincoln shouted.

Lynn looked out the window. "They just parked the van outside!"

"Rick!" Lori shouted. Everyone was starting to panic.

"All right. All right." Rick still sounded tired. He seemed to have a bit of a hangover. He waggled his finger. "Bring me the thing."

"What thing dude?!" Luna shouted.

Rick massaged his temples to try and sooth his headache. "The thing. The thing. The-the-it's got, like, buttons on it and lights on it. It-it-it beeps."

"That's literally all your stuff in your garage." Lori shouted.

Lisa then came by, holding some kind of device. "Did you mean this, perchance?"

Rick took the device. "Lisa for the win." Rick then activated the device, which then created a small shockwave. "All right, that should do it."

"Uh, what did you just do?" Lincoln asked.

"Uh, s-see for yourself."

The Loud siblings then went outside to see their mom and dad making their way to the house. Except they weren't moving at all. Nothing seemed to be moving. All the siblings gaped in shock. "Whoa." Said Lori.

Rick then stepped out, folding his arms. "Yeah, e-everything's frozen in time. Yeah and Slow Mobius thinks he's all that."

"How long are they gonna stay like this?" Luna asked.

Rick shrugged. "I don't know. How long do you guys want? A week? A month?"

The siblings all glanced at each other before turning to Rick. "Can we start cleaning the house and see how we feel?" Lincoln asked.

...

Rick and the Loud siblings then spent a long time working on cleaning and fixing up the house. Once they had finished, Rick had offered to do some activities with his grandkids. At Lucy's suggestion, they started off by carving some pumpkin heads which they then placed over their parents' heads. At Luan's suggestion, everyone then went around town pulling everyone's pants down. Rick then went with Lola to 'get' a new TV which everyone was now watching a movie on outside of the house. Once the movie finished, Rick remarked. "Worst movie ever."

"So dumb." Lori added.

"Gee, what a waste of time huh?" Luan joked. To her pleasure, this got a chuckle out of everyone.

Leni smiled. "This has been totes fun!"

Luan turned to Rick. "Hey, Rick. You know, this whole time, I haven't once heard you say that 'wubba lubba dub dub' thing that you keep saying.

Rick put his hand up. "Don't need to. I have a new catchphrase."

"What's that Grandpa Rick?" Lana asked.

Rick put his arms around Lincoln and Luan. "I love my grandkids."

"Aww." Everyone said as Lincoln and Luan gave Rick a hug. Followed by Lana. Then Leni. In fact, everyone started to pile onto Rick. "Whoa, whoa, whoa!" Everyone laughed as Rick fell over under their weight.

"And he's down for the count!" Lynn yelled.

Rick sat up, grinning at her. "Oh so you wanna little horseplay huh? C'mere you!" Everyone laughed as they started play fighting with each other. It seemed like they'd be having fun in this frozen time space for quite a while.


	13. A Space Invader In Time

It had been six months since Rick had frozen time. And yet none of the siblings, or Rick, had aged. All the siblings were happy to use their literally free time to just do whatever they wanted. Lori was somewhat at a loss since she was unable to talk to Bobby so she decided to take this as an opportunity to hang out with her younger siblings. Leni used the time to work on some dresses. Luna practiced her guitar skills and worked on her lyric writing. Luan took the opportunity to set up pranks all over Royal Woods. While the rest of the siblings didn't approve, they gave her a pass as she'd probably never get an opportunity to do something like that again. Lynn practised with her various sports, usually with help from one of her siblings. Lincoln spent his time either reading comics or catching up with his video games. Lucy spent the time writing poems, some of which were time related. Since Lana couldn't play with the pets as they were all also frozen, she spent the time fixing whatever she could find around Royal Woods. Lola was also at a loss since there was no point in practicing for pageants so she simply spent the time playing with her siblings as well. Lisa had been working on her experiments, free to do them outside. Though it caused a bit of a mess in the streets and parks she did them in.

Currently, Lincoln was cleaning up his parents as he was using a vacuum on his dad. "Never thought I'd spend my morning doing this." Lincoln thought out loud.

Lori stepped outside. "Are you done yet, Lincoln? Rick is literally about to unfreeze time."

"Just about..." Lincoln stopped vacuuming. "Done!"

Lori squinted at her dad. "Is that mildew?"

"Huh?"

Lori shrugged and waved her hand dismissively. "Eh, forget it. They probably won't even notice it."

Lori went back inside as Lincoln followed after her. He turned to the audience. "As fun as having all the free time in the world was, all good things have to end eventually. Plus, it'll be nice to finally talk to our parents and our friends again." Lincoln entered the living room with the rest of his siblings apart from Lynn and Lucy. The two then came in after Lincoln. Both of them scowled upon seeing the other one, sending each other glares before turning away and standing as far away from each other as possible. Lincoln sighed. "You'd think having all this freedom would be perfect but it doesn't stop us having fights with each other. There's been a lot of tension between Lynn and Lucy lately, which resulted in Lynn staying in my room last night. It went about as well as you think it did."

...

The previous night, (though it was technically still daytime, the Loud siblings had tried to keep their usual sleep schedule) Lynn came into Lincoln's room with her pillow as Lincoln shut the door behind her. "Okay, we'll have to establish a few ground rules. One, keep your hands off my-"

"Pew, pew!" Lynn had already broken that rule as she played with Lincoln's toy robot.

Lincoln took the toy and placed it on his desk. "Let's just set this down." Lynn started messing around with Lincoln's other stuff. "Careful! Please don't!" Lynn picked up Lincoln's toy bunny, Bun-Bun before tossing it behind her. "Bun-Bun!" Lincoln managed to catch it. "You okay? Did the mean girl hurt you?"

Lynn looked around the room. "You know, I'm noticing a complete lack of balls in this room."

Lincoln gave Lynn an offended look. "Uh, what?"

"You know, no soccer balls, no footballs, no baseballs, no-" She raised an eyebrow at Lincoln. "Wait, what did you think I meant?"

Lincoln looked awkward. "Uh, nothing."

There was a moment of silence before Lynn giggled. "Wow Lincoln." Lincoln rolled his eyes as Lynn picked up her pillow. "Good thing I brought my own!" She emptied out her pillow which was filled with all sorts of sports balls.

Lincoln gave Lynn an unamused look before faking a yawn. "Would you look at the time? Let's just turn in and get this night over with."

"What do you mean? It's still daytime, and you have a fun new roommate!" She pointed a thumb at herself.

"Look, just because time's frozen doesn't mean-"

Before he could say anything more, Lynn put a green wrestling mask over Lincoln's head. "Lucha Libre!"

Lincoln tried looking around. "I can't see anything!"

Lynn put her own red mask on and stood up on Lincoln's bed. "It's Lunatic Lynn off the third turnbuckle!"

Lincoln kept looking around in a panic. "What? What? I can't hear anything, either!"

Lynn leapt off the bed and onto Lincoln to start wrestling with him, eventually pinning him to the ground. "One, two, three! You're out." Lynn stood up and started doing a victory dance. "Yeah! Lunatic Lynn is El Campeón del Mundo!"

Groaning in pain, a fatigued Lincoln climbed off the floor and onto his bed. "Can we just go to sleep? There's less pain involved."

"Not when you're a sleep fighter like me!" Lynn busted out her fist, causing Lincoln to flinch.

"Ah!"

"Two for flinching!" Lynn gave Lincoln two playful punches on his arm before laughing. Lincoln just sighed.

Later on, Lincoln and Lynn had settled into bed. Lincoln tried to sleep before hearing a banging noise. He turned to give an irritated look to Lynn, who was bouncing a tennis ball off the wall. "What are you doing?"

"What? It helps me fall asleep." Lynn said with a smile.

"Well, it doesn't help me. Can you knock it off?" Lincoln closed his eyes. There was a short pause before Lincoln felt the ball being thrown at his head. He gave an angry look to Lynn, though it appeared she was now asleep. Once again, Lincoln closed his eyes.

Before he could sleep this time, Lynn let out a big, foul smelling fart. Lynn laughed while Lincoln waved his hand in front of his face to wave off the smell as he casted a disgusted look at Lynn. "Ugh! Lynn!"

"DUTCH OVEN!" Lynn pulled the covers over Lincoln, causing him to cry in distress as he struggled to get away from the disgusting smelling gas. Lynn kept laughing as she let him out, allowing him to gasp for air. Lynn then snuggled in. "Goodnight, Lincoln."

"Goodnight..." An agonised Lincoln squeaked.

...

"And just when I thought it couldn't get worse, Lynn then kept me up with her snoring. I had no choice but to sleep in the bathtub!" Lincoln finished explaining to the audience.

"Who cares about the thing you're talking about Lincoln? The whole point of freezing time is to stop giving a fuck." Rick said as he came into the room. "Let's get this dumb universe rolling. Let's do this thing." Rick stood in the centre of the room and got out the device he used to stop time. "Alright, listen, everyone, we froze time for a pretty long time, so when I unfreeze it, the world's time is gonna be fine, but our time's gonna need a little time to, you know, stabilize."

Everyone gave Rick a worried look. "Uh, what does that mean?" Lori asked.

"It means relax, Lori. It also means don't touch your parents or we could shatter into countless theoretical shards."

"What?!" Everyone shouted.

"And away we go!" Rick grinned as he pressed a button on the device, unfreezing time.

...

As Lynn Sr. and Rita made their way to their house, they suddenly felt a disturbance. As if thousands of people in Royal Woods were either pied, punched, splashed or pranked in some way or another. They turned around upon hearing people yelping and car alarms going off. They turned back around and blinked in surprise as the messy house they were approaching was suddenly completely clean. "Wait, what?" A baffled Lynn Sr. exclaimed.

The two entered the house to see Rick and the Loud siblings all standing there to greet them. Luan seemed to be giggling to herself about something. "Hey, Rick." Rita looked around the house before smiling at Rick. "Wow, I didn't expect you to keep the house so clean Rick."

Rick grinned. "See, I told you, I'm totally a responsible caregiver."

Lynn Sr. smiled. "Nice work, Dad. And here I was, thinking you'd at least throw a party or something."

Rick's smile dropped. "Huh?"

"And here we were, preparing to clean up after you guys. You really went beyond our expectations, Rick." Rita then turned her attention to the kids. "Hey, everyone!" She approached Lynn and Lucy to give them a hug before both of them recoiled from her. "Lynn, Lucy, are you two okay?"

"Uhh, yeah." Lynn said before grinning. "Lucy just doesn't want any hugs right now. She's way too edgy for those."

Lucy gave Lynn a brief, angry look before turning back to her mom. "You wouldn't want to hug Lynn anyway. She hasn't washed her clothes in a while. They really stink." Lynn glared at Lucy.

Rita then got distracted as she realised something was wrong. "Wait, where's Lily?"

Rick's eyes widened. "Uh, she's asleep. I wouldn't really bother her, I only just put her to bed."

Rita gave Rick an odd look as it seemed strange that Lily would want to nap this early in the morning. "Ok?"

"Now listen, why do—why do—why—why don't you guys go get a free sunday ice cream," Rick got out a wad of cash. "Go out there and get some ice creams. Here's five hundred dollars cash in unmarked moneys. I'm just gonna put it on the floor and uh, kick it on over to ya. You guys go nuts."

After Rick did as he said, Lynn Sr. picked up the money and shrugged. "Mm, sure. I could go for ice cream." Rita shrugged along with him as the two left.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief. "Shit, I forgot about Lily. Lori, do you still have that ticket?" Rick asked.

"It's in my drawers." Lori replied. "What are we gonna do?"

"We're just gonna have to wait until our time stabilises before we pick her up." Rick stated before he and everyone sat back down, apart from Lucy, who was about to make her way upstairs.

Seeing her leave, Lincoln ran after her to grab her arm. There was no way he was going to spend another night with Lynn. He needed to solve this problem as fast as possible. "Lucy, can I speak to you for a moment?"

"Sigh." Lucy said as Lincoln pulled her back downstairs where the other sisters were conversing with each other.

"So was making this much of an effort to keep the house clean literally pointless?" Lori asked Luna.

Luna shrugged. "Eh, I doubt they would've appreciated the giant hole in the wall."

"Good point." Lori conceded.

Lincoln sat Lucy onto the couch next to Lynn. Upon seeing each other, they turned away and folded their arms. "Ok, you two seriously need to just talk things out."

Lynn stood up. "There's nothing to talk about! I'm sick of staying in the same room as Miss Gloom and Doom! Like, would it kill you to smile once in a while?!"

"It would." Lucy got up and turned to Lincoln. "This is because of Lynn staying in your room isn't it? I apologise for my sister's thoughtless and inconsiderate behaviour."

Lynn scowled. "Hey! Lincoln loves having me as a roommate. Right, Lincoln?"

Lincoln looked away awkwardly. "Umm..."

Lynn looked slightly hurt at Lincoln's answer before glaring at Lucy. "Besides, who are you to talk? You're always sneaking up behind people and scaring them. That's pretty inconsiderate."

"I don't do that on purpose you know!" Lucy snapped back.

Lynn got up in Lucy's face. "Well maybe you wouldn't scare people if you didn't act like such a freak!"

Everyone in the room gasped upon hearing Lynn's insult. Lucy clenched her fists and gritted her teeth before giving Lynn a rough shove/taking a deep breath to calm herself down.

Everyone gaped in shock as a silhouetted version of Lynn came out of Lynn. "Hey, don't you shove me!" The other Lynn shouted.

"I didn't?" Lucy replied.

"Didn't what?" Lynn asked.

The other Lynn shoved Lucy, though it caused another version of Lucy to appear. "You stupid, idiot jock!" The other Lucy snapped.

"Hey, who're you calling an idiot?" Lynn snapped back.

"Shut up!" The other Lucy replied while Lucy gave her a confused look.

"You shut up!"

Suddenly, the room started to shake as everything started to become blurry, worrying Rick. "Whoa whoa wh-what the hell hell hell hell hell?"

.../...

And just like that, it seemed like the world made a copy of itself. Rick looked around in a panic before frowning at Lynn and Lucy. "Oh God, oh no, what did you guys just do?"

"What do you mean?/I-I don't know." Lucy said before realising she said two different things at once. "Wait, what am I saying?"

"Were either of you guys uncertain about anything just now?" Rick asked.

"When have I ever been uncertain about anything?" Lynn asked back. "I always know what I'm doing/I'm certain Lucy's a jerk!" Lynn looked around in confusion. "Who said that?"

"This is literally so confusing." Lori remarked.

"Alright, all of you, just don't move, don't speak, don't think. I have to check something." Rick said before making his way to the garage.

Lincoln thought carefully for a moment. "Maybe we should help him?" After a moment of thought, everyone nodded and followed Lincoln to the garage. Upon entering it, everyone crowded around Rick. Both worlds seemed identical apart from the fact that Lucy and Lynn had swapped places in the second world. "Grandpa Rick, what's going on?" Lincoln asked.

"What's happening this time, Rick?" Lori deadpanned.

"Shut up!" Rick barked. He got out some kind of monitor and turned it on. The screen displayed two green dots. "Oh crap, are you kidding me? Two dots? This never needs to be more than one dot. Lynn and Lucy made us uncertain!" All the siblings started asking questions though Rick could barely hear them over each other and their other versions. "Ok, shut up again. Our time is fractured. Lynn and Lucy somehow created a feedback loop of uncertainty that's split our reality into two equally possible impossiblities. W-We're exactly like a man capable of sustaining a platonic friendship with an attractive female co-worker. We're entirely hypothetical."

Leni grabbed her head, feeling a headache coming on. "This is way too confusing."

Rick turned to Leni. "Don't worry about it Leni. Listen, do me a favour, go stand in the corner, close your eyes and count to a million. In your head. Don't stop until you reach a million, no matter what."

Leni smiled. "Ok."

As she went off to do that, Lori gave Rick a confused look. "Why did you ask her to do that?"

"Do you really trust her to be certain about anything?" Rick replied.

Lincoln was also trying to figure this out. "But I thought there were infinite timelines. Or was it universes? Dimensions? I kinda lost track of the difference."

"We're not on any timeline, dummy. Look." Rick opened the garage door. Outside was a black void with cats floating around.

"What the!" A stupefied Lincoln exclaimed.

"Are those cats?" Lana asked.

"I assume they're Schrodinger's cats and no you can't pet them, Lana." Lana slumped in disappointment. "A-Actually, I assume they both are and aren't, just like us."

"Is the world gone? Where are Mom and Dad?" Asked Lucy/Lynn in a panic.

"Your parents get to exist." Rick reassured. "It's all of us that are lost in a timeless oblivion." Rick started to work on the device that Rick used to freeze time. "This is why you don't freeze time, you guys. It's incredibly irresponsible."

"And yet, you did it so you could clean the house after a party." Lori snarked.

"Look, there's no time to hold me accountable, Lori. Like, literally no time. Look around. Uncertainty is inherently unsustainable. Eventually everything either is or isn't. And we've got about four hours to be 'is'." Rick picked up his device as he had apparently finished working on it.

"Or?" Lincoln prompted.

"We 'isn't'." Rick pushed his monitor to the side. "Alright, since this time crystal exists in both possibilities and since it's impossible that I didn't nail this, I'm probably about to press this button in both possibilities at exactly the same time."

Lynn/Lucy couldn't help but feel doubtful. "How do you know you're gonna-"

Rick interrupted them. "Whatever you're asking, the answer is: I'm amazing. And away we go!" Rick pressed the button, causing both timelines to slowly merge. "Huh, what do you know, it's working." Suddenly, Lynn and Lucy started convulsing. It almost looked like Lynn and Lucy were fusing with each other's alternate selves. Rick and the other Loud siblings looked at them in confused horror. "Oh shit." Both timelines split apart again as Rick frowned at both of his daughters. "What the hell is wrong with you two!? I—I m—I m—I mean you four!?"

"That hurt!" Lynn/Lucy shouted.

"That was painful..." Lucy/Lynn groaned.

"You two are all over the damn place." Rick chastised. "We've been split for twenty minutes and your lives are already scattered to the quantum fucking wind? What is up with you two today? Can you two just get whatever it is you're arguing about over with so we can move on with our lives?"

Lynn scowled. "Why should I? She the one that's been acting like a passive aggressive weirdo lately!"

"Oh? A weirdo am I? I suppose you'd prefer if I acted regular and normal?" Lucy raised her voice. "Just like what everyone else here wants me to be!"

There was a moment of silence as everyone took in what Lucy had just said. "Whoa, where'd that come from?" Rick asked.

Lucy folded her arms and turned away from everyone, trembling slightly. Lincoln approached her. "This is about what happened on valentines day isn't it?" Lucy was unresponsive. Lincoln sighed and turned to everyone else. "Guys, Lucy's still upset because she thinks that since you guys were so eager to give her a makeover, you'd want Lucy to change all together."

The Loud sisters all had guilty looks on their faces, apart from Leni, who was still counting. "I had no idea." Lori stated. "Lucy, we didn't mean to make you feel like we wanted you to change."

"Yeah dude, we love you the way you are." Luna added.

Lucy didn't move. "Then why were you all waiting to give me a makeover?"

Lola scratched the back of her head. "We thought you'd...like it?/I just wanted to do makeup with you for once."

"We thought we were trying to help you." Lori explained. "You said you wanted to look regular and normal at the time. But you're not those things. You're Lucy Loud. You're perfect just the way you are. And we love you."

Lucy let out a deep sigh, letting her ams slump before turning around. "Sigh. I'm sorry. I should've just talked to you guys about it." Lucy looked at Lynn. "Since we live in the same room, I've been taking out my frustrations on you. I'm really sorry. You didn't deserve that."

Lynn gave an apologetic smile. "It's okay. Sorry for calling you a freak earlier."

"Alright, we're good? Great!" Rick interjected. "Now let's fix this, Lynn stand here. Lucy, stand here." One of the Ricks had Lynn and Lucy swap places. "Lincoln, go stand where you were a minute ago." Lincoln did just that. "Alright stand still, arms down, I'm gonna do this again, this time, be like Grandpa."

"You mean drunk?" The second Luan snarked.

"And away we go!/What's that? You got something to say?" The first Rick tapped the button, only for nothing to happen.

"No." The second Luan sighed.

The second Rick let it go. "And away we go!" Both Ricks were now tapping the button, trying to get it to work. "Huh, that's weird./Huh, that's weird."

Rick's eyes widened in realisation. "Oh my god."

"What?" Lori asked.

/

Rick's eyes widened in realisation. "Oh my god."

"What?" Lori asked.

/

"That son of a bitch is gonna kill me!" Rick ran over to the table to start disassembling his device.

"What!" Everyone cried.

/

"That son of a bitch is gonna kill me!" Rick ran over to the table to start disassembling his device.

"What!" Everyone cried.

/

"Follicle, unfeeling sociopath." Both of the Ricks kept going in and out of sync. "Don't you get it?/Don't you get it? /He thinks he can save his own skin by using the crystal to kill me./ He probably figures it's easier to eliminate one of the possibilities rather than merge them." Rick used his screwdriver to take out the time crystal. Both Ricks went back in sync, laughing. "I have to admit, it's always in the back of my mind too. The difference is I would never do it! Until now..."

"Grandpa Rick! What are you doing?!" Lincoln cried.

Rick took the crystal and started to fix it onto a gun. "Saving our lives. After he takes me out, he's gonna be coming for you!"

"Who?" Lynn asked.

"Me!" The first Rick aimed the gun at his head and fired, the bullet crossing into the other timeline. The second Rick wasn't quite finished and managed to duck under it. "You see that? Get down." The second Loud siblings started to panic as Rick ducked and fired upwards to where he imagined the other Rick would be standing. He had only managed to shoot just in front of him as he backed off and the first Loud siblings panicked.

The two Ricks engaged in a shoot off, trying to guess where each other was while both Loud siblings backed off against the wall so as to not be caught in the crossfire. "I told you he's a psycho!" The first Rick shouted.

"He's lost it. The time fracture must have made him crazy!" The second Rick yelled.

"I don't know what to do! I don't know what to do!" The first Rick panicked as the timelines split once again. Rick looked at the monitor, seeing four dots on the screen. "Oh God, now there's three of them, we're outnumbered! Get in the cupboards!" Rick ordered as the siblings made their way there until Rick stopped them. "Wait, don't don't do that, they'll know...wait wait, think about getting in the cupboards but don't really." There was a short pause before Rick started firing at the cupboards. "AAAAH IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT YOU SICK FUCKS? YOU WANNA SEE CHILDREN DIE?" Rick calmed down before aiming his gun around the room, looking for some kind of sign of the other Rick. "Shh shh...I know where you are, you creepy old monster...I know how you think! Oh, is this where you think I'm going? You think I'm standing here? Well maybe you're right!" Rick aimed the gun at his head before he was suddenly knocked out by Lori with a fire extinguisher.

"Dude! What do we do now?" A worried Luna asked.

"Well if all of the Loris knocked out all the Ricks, that would mean that we're all synchronized." Lisa stated.

"Ok." Lori picked up Rick's gun and took out the time crystal. "So from now on, whatever we do, we have to literally be certain."

"Right." Lincoln affirmed.

"I'm pretty certain we're screwed." Lucy remarked.

...

Rick woke up feeling a splitting headache. "Oh God, my head." He rubbed his head and looked around. He appeared to be trapped in a small cage. "What did you guys do?"

Lincoln folded his arms/put his hands on his hips/pointed at Rick/got up from sitting on the floor. "We put you in a dog cage because you went crazy, and caused another time fracture."

Lori glared at Rick. "You tried to kill yourself!"

"Only in self defense, myself tried to kill me first!" Rick explained. "Guys, I don't expect you to understand this, but time breaking twice means our problem is two times bigger and we've got half as much time to solve it. Well actually, I do expect you to understand that, it's basic math. C-Could someone just let me out of here? If I die in a cage, I lose a bet."

"It would be a hazardous risk to our lives if we let you out without some kind of proof you won't terminate yourself or others here." Lisa explained.

Rick gave Lisa an annoyed look. "Ah, for God's sake, alright here, give me the time crystal."

Lori handed Rick the crystal. "What are you going to do?"

Rick plugged the crystal into his phone. "Call myself. Here, listen, it'll probably go to voice mail since, you know, I'm calling myself."

Rick typed his own number in. Sure enough, it went to voice mail as Rick's voice came from the phone. "Hello, Rick here."

"Don't fall for it, it's a bit."

"Just kidding, haha! You just got Ricked. You've reached Rick's voicemail, you know what to do."

The phone beeped as Rick brought the phone to his face. "Hey Rick, it's Rick. Listen, I'm sorry about earlier. No hard feelings. I know you know I mean it too. Take it easy." Rick ended the voice mail. His eyes then widened. "Damn, look at this, I'm blowing up. Three new voicemails."

Rick played one of the voicemails. "Hey Rick, it's Rick. Listen, I'm sorry about earlier."

"Yeah yeah, I heard this one." Rick played the other two voicemails.

"Hey Rick, it's Rick."

"Hey Rick, it's-"

"You get the idea we're cool now."

Lori still wasn't sure. "Ok, but we're still not gonna let you out of this cage."

"Fine I'll just do it myself." Rick simply kicked the cage and lifted up the roof of it as the cage easily came apart.

Lori gave Lincoln an annoyed look. "You seriously need to buy better cages."

"If you could get out that whole time, why didn't you?" Lincoln asked.

"Because I waited until I was certain it was what I wanted to do, Lincoln." Rick explained.

Before the conversation could continue, a bubble suddenly floated in, alarming everyone. The bubble faded, revealing a red, vascular monster that looked like was made of internal flesh. His only facial feature was a giant mouth full of crooked and disordered yellowish teeth. He had no legs as his body simply floated off the ground. He wore a long tan robe that was very ripped and torn at the trim and ends of the sleeves. He also had a brown satchel. Nearly everyone had a panicked reaction upon seeing the monster. "Oh my God!/Ewww what the?/What is that?" Screamed Lori.

"It's a monster!/Is that a monster?/Rick what's happening?" Lincoln asked.

"Dude!/Sick dude!/Oh, that's nasty!" Luna shouted.

"Whoa/Cool!/Awesome!/Neat!" Lana exclaimed.

"Ey, ye ey, quit yellin' quit yellin'." The monster shouted. Once everyone quieted down, the monster spoke again. "My name is Shleemypants." He looked around the garage. "What the fuck?! Your time is all ripped up to hell! You broke your time, twice!"

Rick rolled his eyes and sighed. Lori felt really uncomfortable with Shleemypants due to what his head reminded her of. "Why do all the aliens we come across have to be so gross."

"Cool, right?" Lana asked enthusiastically.

"How did this happen?" Shleemypants asked.

All the siblings from each timeline started to give their own explanation. Shleemypants could barely make out anything they were saying. "Shut the fuck up! Oh, damn, I'm from the 4th dimension. I can hear all o' y'all. Now let's just see what we got here for a second." Shleemypants took Rick's phone, causing him to groan. He took out the crystal from it. "Ay, damn it, were you tryin' to use this to-" He floated towards Rick's desk and picked up Rick's device. "Oh, see, you broke time, and you thought you could just stick it back together with this? How you think you gonna move time while you're standin' in it you dumb ass, three-dimensional, monkey ass dummies?"

Rick folded his arms and narrowed his eyes as some of the siblings glared at Rick. "Way to go, Rick." Lori chastised.

"Yeah, good going Grandpa." Luan added.

Rick turned to face them. "Oh, what, you're just gonna listen to this guy now? He's got a giant testicle for a head! He came here in a bubble. For all we know he could be the David Berkowitz of Nutsack Land."

"Shut up." Shleemypants took out eleven collars from his satchel and dropped them all on the floor. "Here, put these on. They'll sync your possibilities up so I can bring you back to certain time." All of them picked up the collars and put them on except for the family in one of the timelines. Three of the Loris went over to put the collar on Leni, who was still counting. "Y'all just-just negligent, now ay, ay, ay, all of you, put your collars on!"

"What are you talking about?" Asked three of the Loris.

"We already have them on." Said three of the Lynns.

"Uh, we did..." Three of the Ricks said.

"We're not wearing collars." The fourth Rick stated, folding his arms.

"Exactly, because you're being obstinate." Shleemypants snarked.

"What?" Asked the other three Ricks.

"Put the damn collars on if you want to live." Shleemypants snapped.

"But we already have them on!" Three confused Lincolns argued.

"I'm guessing we're refusing in one of the timelines." Three of the Lisas deduced.

"Alright, fine." The fourth Rick conceded. "Kids, put 'em on." The fourth family put their collars on. After Lori put Leni's on, the timelines finally merged as Rick and the Loud siblings cheered.

"You did it! Everything's back to normal!" Lincoln exclaimed as everyone looked outside the garage at their normal street.

"Yeah, now keep those collars on so you don't break your weak ass time again." Shleemypants ordered.

"How long exactly do we have to wear these things? They're really embarassing." Rick asked.

"Well, since you're goin' to time prison, I'd say you can keep em on forever." Shleemypants got out some kind of gun that looked more like a slug and pointed it at the Louds.

Everyone raised their hands defensively. "Time prison?" Lori asked.

Everyone backed off as Shleemypants approached them. "Yeah, well I don't know where you expect me to think you got that crystal over there, but the only way you dumb ass, assin' ass asses could ever have one, is if it was stolen."

"Uh, for the record, I didn't steal it." Rick refuted. "I salvaged it from an invention the Rick from this universe made before he died. Technically, I didn't steal anything."

"You know what? I don't really give a damn what version of y'all stole it." Shleemypants admitted. "You think I wanna be an omniscient, immortal being transcending time and space my whole life? I got ambitions man, bringin' you guys in is my ticket up."

"What if I told you there's a huge ticket up right behind you?" Rick pointed behind Shleemypants.

"You really think I'm that stupid?" Shleemypants deadpanned.

Rick picked up a wrench behind his back. "Alright, hear me out on this. You're immortal, right, which means your life is infinite. Well in that case there's 100% chance that you'll eventually do everything, including turning around to look behind you."

"I cannot argue that." Shleemypants turned around, only for Rick to throw a wrench at his head. "AAH!"

Rick snatched the gun from Shleemypants and pointed it at him. It then started wriggling in Rick's hand. "Ah, God, gross and weird!"

Rick dropped the gun which started crawling into the street. "Chris!" Shleemypants called out before the gun was run over by a car. The distressed monster turned back to Rick. "You killed my gun!"

Rick turned to his grandkids. "Kids, take off your collars!" Everyone broke their collars off, apart from Leni.

"What? What the hell are you doing?" Shleemypants asked, starting to get worried.

"Good question. I suppose the answer is:" Rick broke his collar off. "I'm...not...certain!"

The timeline split into two again. Leni seemed to have disappeared. "Oh, no, what are you doin'?" A panicking Shleemypants asked.

"I have no idea!/I'm not sure." Rick answered before the timeline split into four.

One of the Ricks punched him. Seeing this, the other Ricks joined in as Shleemypants was affected by every one of their punches. "Stop that!"

"Maybe I will, maybe I won't." The Ricks said, slightly off sync from each other as the timelines doubled again. "I'm really uncertain about everything, even kicking your ass!"

Shleemypants kept getting knocked back and forth by all the Ricks. "Lis- ay, to, AH. But these arms are vestigial." The timeline split again. "Now you poked me where an eye would have been about six million years ago!"

"Guys! Let's help him!" Lynn exclaimed.

"Ok, but I'm not exactly certain how." Luan said. The timeline was now split into 32. "He he."

The Loud siblings cheered for Rick as he kept beating the monster. One of the Ricks stepped back and watched as he was knocked back and forth by all the other Ricks. "Die, motherfucker!"

That Rick delivered one final punch, causing Shleemypants' head to explode into a mushy mess. Though this didn't seem to kill him as he simply slumped onto the floor. "Ow, I'm defeated..."

The garage started to rumble. "What's happening?" Lincoln asked.

"Time is falling apart, we've got to get back to certainty, quick! Give me your collars!" Everyone handed Rick their collars. "I need to fix these quickly. Someone, hand me that Phillips/Flathead screwdriver. Actually, make it a Flathead/Phillips." The timeline split again. "Oh shit."

Rick quickly fixed all the collars and handed them off to all the siblings. "Okay, we're out of time. It's ironic, huh?"

Everyone put their collars on. They all disappeared apart from Rick, Lynn and Lucy, confusing them. "Huh?" Lynn said.

/

In one of the timelines, Rick and Lynn had paused before putting their collars on as Lucy was struggling to put hers on. "Lucy?" Lynn asked.

"Somethings wrong. It won't close around my neck."

/

The other Lynns and Lucys started panic. "What's going on? Why aren't we going back?" Lynn cried.

"Obviously because someone doesn't know how to put her collar on and one of me is stuck trying to help her. Lynn." Rick snarked.

"Hey I know how to put a stupid collar on." Lynn snapped back.

/

Meanwhile, Lynn took Lucy's collar. "Here, let me help." Lynn helped Lucy close the collar around her neck. All the Lucys then disappeared. Before Lynn could put hers on though, the floor gave way under her as Lynn tried to hang on to it. "Ah! Rick help!" The part of the floor Lynn hung on to then crumbled. Lynn screamed as she fell into the black abyss.

"Lynn!" Rick shouted after her.

/

The other Ricks and Lynns stared at the spot where Lucy disappeared. "Di-did Lucy just abandon us?!" A shocked Lynn asked.

Rick gave Lynn a frustrated look. "Great, what have you done this time? We're gonna die because of you!"

"I-I don't know!" Lynn's eyes started to water.

/

Rick looked into the hole. "Goddamnit." He then dived in. He tried to swim through the void as quick as possible until he eventually caught up to Lynn.

"Grandpa Rick!" Lynn cried as he caught her.

"Lynn, where's your collar?" Rick asked.

"I'm sorry. I dropped it." Rick looked between Lynn and his own collar. A distraught look flashed on Rick's face before he put his collar around Lynns neck.

/

The other Ricks' eyes widened as the other Lynns disappeared. "What the hell? What have you done to me, Lynn?"

/

As Rick floated down into the void, he started to relax. Instead of panicking, Rick felt it would be better for him to just accept his fate. "I'm okay with this. Be good, kids. Lisa. Be better than me." He then caught site of something in the distance. His eyes widened. "Holy shit, the other collar! I'm not okay with this! I am not okay with this!" He swam as fast as he could to reach the collar. "Oh, sweet Jesus please let me live. Oh, my God!" Rick caught the collar and quickly put it on. "Yes! Fuck you, God! Not today, bitch." Rick disappeared.

/

The other Ricks were on their knees, putting their hands together in prayer. "Please, God, if there's a Hell, please be merciful to me." Rick disappeared and reappeared back into the garage where all his grandchildren were waiting. "Yes I did it! In your face." Rick looked at the monitor. "One dot, motherfuckers!"

Rick and the Loud siblings started to cheer and celebrate until Lori spoke. "Hey, wait a second, how come you three took longer to get here?"

Lynn grabbed her head. "I'm not sure? It's weird, I've got like 64 different memories of what happened in there."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Who cares? We're here. Come on Lori, let's go pick up Lily."

Rick left with Lori. The rest of the siblings started to leave as well. Lynn approached Lucy. "So, I can move back in?"

Lucy gave a slight smile. "Nothing would make me happier."

Lynn brought up her fist. "Two for flinching!" Lucy made no reaction. "Dang! It never works on you." Lynn gave Lucy a one armed hug as they left the garage.

Before Lincoln left, he noticed Leni was still in the corner. "Uh, Leni? It's over. You can stop counting now." Leni seemed to have ignored him. "Leni?" Lincoln shrugged. He supposed she'll be finished eventually.


	14. Frog Wild Run

Lincoln was sitting at his desk in class as his teacher, Mrs. Johnson, made an announcement. "Okay, class, tomorrow we're wrapping up our biology studies with a special project. We'll be dissecting..." She pulled down a scroll displaying a frog and its anatomy. "...frogs!" All the students exclaimed in joy. "Get ready to jump in!" Mrs. Johnson laughed. She then frowned in disappointment as no one reacted to the joke. "Really? No one?"

Lincoln had an eager look on his face. "Dissecting frogs? That sounds-"

...

"HORRIBLE! You can't do that!" Lana shouted. After Lincoln came home, Lana had found out about what Lincoln was going to do tomorrow. Being the animal lover she was, she was not pleased.

"They're just frogs, Lana. What's the big deal?" Lincoln argued.

Lana scowled and grabbed Lincoln's hair, pulling him into her room. "I'll show you what the big deal is!"

"Ow! Ow!"

After shutting the door behind her, Lana got out a portable projector from her drawers and handed it to Lincoln. "Watch this movie I made about Hops." Hearing his name, Hops then jumped onto Lana's shoulder, croaking.

Lincoln cranked the handle and peeped through the lens of the projector. The first thing he saw was a title screen. He then heard Lana narrating over it. "HOPS: A Life in Leaps." It then cut to a younger Lana playing around in a pond. "I'll never forget the day I met my future best friend." Lana narrated.

The Lana onscreen then got water squirted at her from a frog. Lana swam up to the frog and squirted him back before laughing. "You're the best froggy. Well, I gotta go. Dad's making meatloaf tonight. Thanks for the fun day." Lana waded off through the water. She then looked back and noticed the frog was following her, paddling on his lily pad. He then made a sad face, which Lana returned. "Aw. You're lonely, aren't ya, little guy?" She then smiled. "Would you like to come home and live with me?" The frog smiled and nodded before hopping over to Lana to pull himself into Lana's front pocket. Lana smiled down at him. "I'm gonna name you Hops." Hops croaked happily in response.

"Since that day, we've been pretty inseparable. We eat all our meals together." Lana narrated as it cut to Lana and Hops eating mud and crickets from a bowl. "Hops likes his crickets chocolate-covered. But I like mine plain." It then cut to Lana and Hops playing Double Dutch. "We play together." It then cut to Lana waiting to get her photo taken. "We even get our school photos taken together."

"Alright, kid, smile." The photographer said dully as Hops leaped out of Lana's pocket and landed on her head, wearing his own overalls. "Three, two, one. Cheese."

It then cut to nighttime as Lana was in her pyjamas, next to her bed. Hops had his own sleeping cap on. "Nighty-night, buddy." Lana said before giving Hops a kiss and placing him in his tank. Lana then rolled into bed.

"I can't imagine what life would be like without my best friend Hops." Lana narrated as Hops leapt out of his tank to rest himself next to Lana. Lana opened an eyelid to look at him before smiling and going back to sleep.

As the film ended, Lincoln looked to Lana with tears in his eyes, completely touched by her story. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!"

Hops used his tongue to grab a box of tissues. Lana handed a tissue to Lincoln for him to blow his nose. "You see, Lincoln? Frogs are cooler on the outside than they are on the inside." She clasped her hands, giving Lincoln a pleading look. "So please, don't dissect them."

"I won't." Lincoln reassured before putting on a look of determination. "And neither will anyone else."

Lana raised an eyebrow as Hops dropped the box of tissues. "What do you mean?"

"We're going on a rescue mission." Lincoln exchanged a fist bump with Lana.

"Don't forget Hops!" Lana reminded Lincoln. Lincoln exchanged a fist bump with Hops who used his tongue.

...

The next day, after Mrs. Johnson dismissed the class for lunch and locked the door behind her, Lincoln and Lana sprung into action as Lana had managed to use one of her tools to unlock the door. Upon going into the classroom, Lana ran up to the tank full of frogs. "What's up, frog-ays? We're here to rescue you!"

Lincoln picked up the tank. "Let's go!" Lana opened the window and jumped out before helping Lincoln carry the tank out along with himself. The two started running. "Now we just need to get to the pond."

Before they could get any further, Rick came flying by in his cruiser before parking in front of them and opening the door. "All right, Lincoln, your next flying lesson starts now. Come on, get in."

Lana looked at Lincoln. "You're taking flying lessons from Grandpa Rick?"

Lincoln gave Lana a pleading look. "Please don't tell Lori." He then looked at Rick. "Grandpa Rick, if you haven't noticed, we're kinda in the middle of something."

"I can't deal with all these frogs by myself." Lana added.

Rick rolled his eyes. "I can see that Lincoln. Don't worry, I have a solution to this problem."

...

Lincoln was now flying the cruiser through space as Rick sat next to him. Behind them, Lana and Hops were gazing out the window in amazement as they looked into space. Next to them was the tank filled with all the other frogs. Rick pointed out the window. "See that planet right there? Don't fly too close to that planet. Someone'll come out and try to wash your windshield."

Lincoln had a look of concern. "Are you sure we should be bringing all these frogs out into space?"

"They'll be fine as long as they stay in here. I've got my cruiser set to just the right humidity." Rick explained.

"I thought it felt a little wetter in here then usual." Lincoln remarked.

Rick glanced back at the tank full of frogs. "So what's the deal with them anyway."

"Those frogs were going to be dissected." Lincoln explained.

"So we rescued them!" Lana joined in on the conversation, grinning proudly.

Rick gave them both pointed looks. "So by that, you mean you both broke in and stole them, right? Are you sure a few frogs are worth breaking the law over?"

Lana huffed before getting out her portable projector and handing it to Rick. "Maybe you'd understand if you had a look at this."

"Hm? What's this?" Rick cranked the handle and peeped through the lens of the projector. Once he was finished, Rick passed the projector back to Lana. He didn't seem to be very moved by it. "Well, that was cute I guess."

Lincoln looked surprise. "You didn't feel anything from that?"

"Lincoln, do I really seem like the kind of guy that'd be moved to tears by something like that? I mean they're just frogs."

"They are NOT just frogs!" Lana snapped.

Rick raised his hands defensively. "Ok! I get it. I understand they mean a lot to you." Rick's phone then started to ring. "Hold on." Rick answered it. "Yup. Yeah, I have it. Where do you wanna meet? Alright, cool." He hung up and turned to Lincoln. "Alright, Lincoln, lesson's over. We got some business to attend to a few lightminutes south of here."

...

Per Rick's instructions, Lincoln flew the cruiser to an alien planet and into a strange, multilevelled parking garage. Lincoln clumsily flew in and parked in between two other vehicles. Rick turned to him. "Okay, wait here."

"What's going on, Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln asked, slightly suspicious.

"Yeah, why can't we come?" Lana asked.

"Don't worry about it." Rick reassured them. "It's boring business stuff. Neither of you would find it interesting. Besides, someone's gotta look after the frogs."

Rick then heard knocking on his window. He turned to see a gromflomite wearing some kind of armour. Unlike the other gromflomites that Lincoln had seen, this was a type that lacked wings and pincers and had a more humanoid anatomy as opposed to the more hunch-backed gromflomites he had seen so far. "Ah, crap." Rick rolled down the window before greeting him. "Hey, what's up?"

"Hey, Rick!" The gromflomite laughed before picking up a bag full of alien currency. "Here you go, three thousand flurbos! D'you have the weapon?"

Rick took the bag. He looked slightly nervous as he didn't want his grandkids to know about this guy. "Can...Can we please...? These are my grandkids. Lincoln and Lana."

The gromflomite waved at them before leaning on the bottom on the window. "Hi Lincoln! Lana! I'm Krombopulos Michael! I'm an assassin. I buy guns from your grandpa."

Lincoln's eyes widened in horror while Lana just looked confused. "A what?!"

"Ugh!" Rick put down the flurbos and picked up a suitcase before shoving it towards Krombopulos Michael. "Here, now go away."

Krombopulos Michael opened the suitcase and picked up the strange, purple gun inside of it, admiring it. "Ooh, yeah, this looks deadly. So this shoots antimatter? My target can't be killed with regular matter." He put the gun back into the suitcase, shutting it. He then looked at Lincoln. "Nice to meet you, Lincoln! Listen, if you ever need anybody murdered," He handed a card over to Lincoln. "Please give me a call. I'm very discrete-"

"M-Murdered?!" A horrified Lana exclaimed.

"Y-Y-Y-You're gonna give him your card?!" Rick shouted, shocked that he'd be so casual about this.

Krombopulos Michael ignored both of them and continued talking. "I have no code of ethics, I will kill anyone, anywhere! Children, animals, old people, doesn't matter. I just love killin'!" Krombopulos Michael then glanced at the frogs in the back. He then put on what looked like a disgusted face. "Ew, what are those?"

"Frogs. They're Earth creatures." Rick answered curtly.

Krombopulos Michael shuddered. "Creepy..."

As Krombopulos Michael walked off, Lincoln and Lana looked at Rick in shock. "You're working with a murderer?!" Lana exclaimed.

"What the heck, Grandpa Rick?" Lincoln shouted angrily.

Rick groaned. "Look, it's just business kids. What he does with those weapons has nothing to do with me. You two have got what the intergalactic call a very planetary mindset. It's more complicated out here! These are Flurbos. Do you understand what three humans can accomplish with three thousand of these?"

"Uh, what?" Lincoln asked.

Rick grinned. "An entire afternoon at Blips and Chiiiitz!"

...

Rick took Lincoln and Lana to the intergalactic arcade. It almost looked like a regular arcade though it was filled with aliens and still had an otherworldly feel to it. The three had left the rest of the frogs in the cruiser apart from Hops, who Lana was carrying with her. Carrying a bottle of beer, Rick gestured to all the attractions as the three walked around. "Aw, this place is the best. It's got beer, games, prizes, and you can never tell what time it is."

Both Lincoln and Lana were frowning at him. While they'd love to enjoy themselves at what was basically an alien version of Gus' Games and Grub, they were too distracted with Rick's shady dealings. "You helped out a murderer just to play videogames?!" Lana exclaimed furiously.

Rick frowned. "Yeah, sure, if you spend all day shuffling words around you can make anything sound bad, Lana." Rick walked over to a machine with two helmets attached to it. He picked up one of them. "Here, check this out." After placing it on Lincoln's head, Lincoln's eyes rolled back into his head.

...

"Ah!" Roy woke up, frightened and panting.

Roy's mother came in, turning the lights on. She sat at Roy's bedside and gave him a comforting smile. "Roy, what's wrong?"

"I...had a nightmare. I was with an old man... He put a helmet on me." Roy tried to explain.

Roy's mother stroked his head. "It's just a fever. Get some sleep, I don't want you missing school on Monday." She got up and walked out of the room, switching off the lights.

...

At his Middle School, Roy sat in class as his teacher spoke. "I want you kids to look around you today and think about your future." Roy looked outside. Upon seeing some kids playing with a football, he smiled. "Now is the time in your life when anything is possible."

...

A teenage Roy caught the football as he ran across the field. He could hear the announcer's commentary. "Spiraling perfectly, it's gonna be caught by Roy Parsons! Roy Parsons is at the 20!" Roy made eye contact with a girl in the stands who gasped upon seeing him look at her. "Now he's at the 10! Nothing can stop Roy the Rocket!" He threw the ball down. "Touchdown!"

...

Roy was having dinner with his wife and son. He looked somewhat depressed as he poked at his food. His wife gave him a concerned look. "I just think it's time to get realistic. Have you talked to my father about the carpet store? Roy?"

...

Roy sighed as he placed a sale tag on one of the carpets. He then got a call from his doctor.

...

Roy was sat in his doctor's office as his doctor spoke to him. "Had we caught it sooner...Well, hindsight is 20-20, Roy. What's important is that we move quickly."

...

Roy was lying down in bed with his wife at his bedside. His hair had fallen out and he had gone pale from battling cancer. "I'm not...ready to die..." Roy admitted.

Roy's wife took his hand. "You're not going to." Roy smiled

...

After surviving surgery, his wife wheelchaired him back into his house. There he saw his friends and family applauding him and a streamer that read 'CANCER CAN'T BEAT THE ROCKET'.

...

"Hey, thanks for the carpet, Roy." An elderly Roy shook hands with the customer before he left. He then sat down before looking fondly at his football shaped trophy that read 'World's Greatest Dad'.

He then heard shouting. "Hey Roy, you pull those Persian off-white shags for the clearance sale?"

Roy got up and stepped onto a short ladder to retrieve the rugs. He then started to lose balance. "Whoa. Sh-shit! Shit!" He tried to hang on to the rugs but to no avail as he fell of the ladder and hit the ground, killing him. Text that read 'GAME OVER' then flashed in front of Lincoln's eyes.

"W-W-What?!" Lincoln pulled his helmet off. The last fifty-five years of his life suddenly felt like a dream as he snapped back to reality. "What...the...HECK was that?!"

Rick looked at Lincoln's progress on the screen. It turned out that Lincoln was just playing a game called 'Roy: A life well lived'. "Fifty-five years. Not bad, Lincoln. You kinda wasted your thirties though with that whole birdwatching phase."

"Huh?" Lincoln looked to see a girl...his sister also had a helmet on. She took it off, slowly blinking in confusion. "W-Where am I?"

Rick looked at Lana's progress. "Ooh, tough luck Lana. Only twenty-nine years. And you died of food poisoning? Now, that's a first."

Lana still seemed lost as she looked around. "W...Where's my husband?"

"Lana. You were just playing a game. It's called Roy. Snap out of it, come on." Rick handed Lincoln and Lana the tickets they had just won from the game.

Lana looked at her...brother. "Lincoln?" She then shook her head as her head started to clear and she remembered what she was doing before she played Roy before frowning at Rick. "Hey, you helped out a murderer!"

Rick sat down at the machine, about to play it himself. "No. I exchanged goods with him. It's the same as doing nothing. If Krombopulos Michael wants someone dead, there's not a lot anybody can do to stop him. That's why he does it for a living. Now if you'll excuse me, it's time to thrash Lincoln's Roy score." Rick put the helmet on.

One of the aliens passing by looked at Rick's gameplay. "Holy shit! This guy's taking Roy off the grid!" Some of the other aliens gasped and started to congregate around Rick. "This guy doesn't have a social security number for Roy!"

Lana pulled Lincoln away to talk to him alone. "We're not gonna let that... Crudbappaloo Michael kill someone are we?"

"No." Lincoln put on a look of determination. "Because we're going to stop him."

Lana raised an eyebrow. "How are we gonna do that?"

Lincoln got out the card that Krombopulos Michael gave him. On it was a radar that displayed Krombopulos Michael's location. He smirked at Lana. "We're going on another rescue mission." He exchanged a fist bump with Lana before doing another one with Hops, who used his tongue again.

...

Krombopulos Michael was at a government outpost. A place filled with winged gromflomites, working for the Galactic Federation. As he prepared for his job, kneeling on top of a building, Krombopulos Michael got out a heart shaped locket with a picture of a female gromflomite similar to him. He kissed the locket before putting it away and standing up. "Oh boy, here I go killin' again!" Krombopulos Michael attached a grappling hook to the side of the building and swung into a vent. After crawling through it and reaching an exit, he dropped down from it onto a gromflomite who he immediately put his arms around to snap his neck before he could shout or scream. After sneaking through the building and killing another gromflomite, he used a lazer to cut a hole through the ceiling. A gromflomite fell through the hole which Krombopulos Michael caught and quickly broke the neck of. Going through the hole, he entered a room where another gromflomite, which had his back to Krombopulos Michael, was guarding a door. He rolled to the guard before punching him and putting an arm around his neck. He then grabbed his arm and used his claw to activate the security panel and open the door. After snapping his neck, Krombopulos Michael entered the chamber and laid his eyes upon his target. A light neon green colored cloud of translucent gas. It had five electric orbs inside of it that were the colours purple, pink, green, blue, and orange. Yellow wires were somehow attached to the cloud. He aimed his gun at it.

Before he could fire, Rick's cruiser suddenly crashed through the wall and into him, killing him. A female voice then came from the cruiser while the frogs started croaking in a panic. "You have arrived at Krombopulos Michael. Your destination is below."

After recovering from the crash, Lana checked to see if the frogs were okay before glaring at Lincoln. "Seriously, Lincoln? This was your plan?"

After rubbing his head, Lincoln gave Lana an annoyed look. "Could you think of a better way to stop an assassin?" The two stepped out of the damaged cruiser. Upon seeing the gun that Rick had sold to the assassin, Lana picked it up.

"Drop the gun!" Lana looked to see a gromflomite. She froze in fear upon seeing him aim a gun at her.

Lincoln jumped in front of her to shield her. "You don't understand! This guy was gonna kill someone!"

The gromflomite glared at Lincoln. "I guess that makes two of us."

Before he could fire, a portal suddenly appeared inside of him, splitting him into two. Lincoln and Lana both winced in disgust upon seeing the two halves fall to the floor. Rick then stepped out of the portal, glaring at the two of them. "What are you doing, kids?! This is a Galactic Federation outpost! Look, I don't have time to tell you my entire backstory, but Grandpa and government don't get along!"

"They saved my life!"

The three turned towards the cloud in surprise. "Huh?" Rick said.

"You can talk?" Lana asked.

"What's your name?" Lincoln asked.

"My kind has no use for names. I communicate through what you call 'the next Ace Savvy issue'. No, 'telepathy'." As the cloud talked, each of his orbs glowed with every syllable he spoke.

Rick frowned. "Oh, good job, kids. Y-Y-Y-You killed my best customer but you saved a mind-reading fart!"

"I like this name, 'Fart'." Lana giggled at the cloud. "Lana, would you kindly release me by pulling that lever to the left of my cell? I am in great pain."

"Sure thing." Lana snickered. "Fart!" Lana laughed as she approached the switch.

"Lana, don't do it." Rick tried to warn her. Lana responded by sticking her tongue out at Rick before flipping the switch, freeing Fart and activating an alarm. Rick simply groaned in response.

"Grandpa Rick, we gotta get out of here!" Lincoln yelled.

"We can't take the fart out of here." Rick tried to explain. "He's gaseous. He's not gonna make it through a portal, Lincoln."

"Let's just fly out of here then!" Lana shouted as she and Lincoln got into the cruiser along with Fart. Lincoln sat up front while Lana and Fart sat in the back with the frogs.

Rick grumbled. "Stupid-ass fart-saving..." He got into the cruiser and tried to turn the ignition on. However it seemed to be stalling. "Oh come on!"

A group of gromflomites ran into the room and aimed their guns as the cruiser. "Get out of the vehicle made of garbage or we will open fire!" One of them warned.

Rick growled as he kept trying to start the vehicle. "Come on! Come on you son of a-"

Suddenly, Hops then leaped up onto Rick's seat. Rick's hand recoiled as Hops' stuck his tongue onto the ignition and pulled at it, somehow managing to start the cruiser. Rick gave Hops a surprised look. "Uhh, thanks, Hops?" Hops croaked happily in response before hopping back to Lana. Once the cruiser set off, Rick backed it up into the gromflomites, crushing them before Rick flew off, away from the planet.

...

Rick had flown his cruiser over to Gearworld, home of the gear people. An industrial planet where everything was made of metal, being gear-themed. Rick had brought his cruiser to the workshop of the same gear person that attended Rick's party. Rick told Lincoln and Lana that his name was Gearhead. Gearhead was currently trying to fix Rick's cruiser. Lana wanted to try and help fix the cruiser too but she was dismissed by Rick who told her that his cruiser was way too complicated for her. After grumbling for a bit, Lana resigned herself to watching television along with Lincoln and Fart. The tank full of frogs had also been taken out of the cruiser and set to the side. "Your geldon convertor is pretty dinged up." Gearhead informed Rick.

"That's 'cause my grandson drives like a male Obavradian." Rick snarked. "Yeah, I said it. Some stereotypes are based in fact."

Gearhead gave Rick an annoyed look. "Actually, it's because of years of neglect. You really need to respect your gears, Rick. To you, they're just wheels with teeth, but in my culture, wars have been fought, entire-"

"So I've heard." Rick interrupted him. "Just fix it." Rick walked over to Lincoln and the others. "I don't think the gromflomites can track us now, but it looks like we're gonna be here for awhile." Rick then lowered his voice so only Lincoln and Lana could hear him. "Or, ya know, if you still have that gun K. Michael dropped, we can finish the job and go home."

"You do understand I'm telepathic, right?" Fart asked.

"I'm being polite."

Lincoln and Lana both frowned and crossed their arms. "We're taking Fart back home where he belongs!" Lana stated.

"Yeah, where's that? Are you going on a quest to find he who smelt it?" Rick snarked.

"I came here accidentally through a wormhole located in what you call 'get out of my head, Fart, I know you're in here, la la la la-'" Fart tried to explain before he got sidetracked from reading Rick's mind. "No, in what you call the Promethean Nebula."

"Oh great, just a hop, skip, and an 800 lightyear jump!"

Fed up with Rick's attitude, Lana started to look upset. "Why are you being so mean? We're just trying to help someone! If you don't have anything nice to say then why don't you just get lost?!"

Rick backed off. "Ok, geez. Look, I'm just trying to look out for you guys. We got the galactic federation on our asses and I'm just trying to find the best way out of this that doesn't result in either of you getting hurt. You understand me?" Still upset, Lana simply turned away, arms folded. Rick sighed. "Whatever." He muttered before walking off.

Meanwhile, Fart had floated over to the tank of frogs. The frogs croaked at him in confusion. "I see I'm not the only thing you have saved today."

"Yeah. We saved them from our school. They were gonna be dissected so we just had to save them." Lincoln explained as Lana nodded with him.

"You two are not like other carbon-based life forms. You both put the value of all life above your own."

"Isn't that what everyone should be like?" Lana asked.

"I could not agree more." Fart floated over and enveloped Lincoln and Lana's heads. They both started to hallucinate as Fart sang to them.

The world can be one together, cosmos without hatred

Lincoln and Lana saw a vortex. Both their heads fell into it and both of them then came out before morphing into strange, indiscernible shapes.

Stars like diamonds in your eyes.

They both morphed back into Lincoln and Lana's heads though their eyes were now literally pink diamonds. Inside Lana's diamonds eyes, Hops was spinning around.

The ground can be space (space, space, space, space)

Hops faded away as Lincoln's head appeared before it turned into Fart. Lana's head then appeared and ate Fart. On the other side of Lana's head was a butt which Fart, Lincoln and Lana emerged from. Lincoln and Lana followed Fart into a cave.

With feet marching toward a peaceful sky.

The cave then turned into a tentacled creature before morphing into a mouth which Lincoln and Lana jumped into. It then morphed into Lincoln's face. On the other side of it were many strange patterns along with another Lincoln. Lincoln and Lana watched in amazement as the other Lincoln's flesh peeled off, followed by his muscles, leaving him as just a skeleton.

All the moonmen want things their way

Lincoln and Lana were now floating above the moon, looking down at the little green, one eyed aliens that were staring back at them. All of them then turned around, revealing faces on their butts as they waved at Lincoln and Lana.

But we make sure they see the sun.

Lincoln and Lana laughed before Fart flew over to them, spinning them around.

Goodbye, moonmen

Lincoln, Lana and Fart then fused together as they started morphing into different things. From Rick's head to a purple alien to an ice cream.

You say goodbye, moonmen.

They then morphed from Ronnie Anne to a flower to a brain before going back to normal and floating through space.

Goodby—

"Shut the fuck up about moonmen!" Rick shouted, interrupting the song and snapping Lincoln and Lana back to reality. "This isn't a musical number. This is a fucking operation, we gotta be cool and fucking lay low!"

Lincoln rubbed his eyes. "Ok, that was weird."

Lana grinned. "I liked it!"

Rick then noticed that the news was on the TV as the gear anchorman spoke. "No gear turnings as of yet in the curious case of these unidentified humanoid fugitives reportedly at large somewhere within the Gear System." An image of Rick, Lincoln, Lana, Fart and the frogs sitting in the cruiser appeared on screen while the anchorman was talking.

"Son of a..." Rick approached Fart. "Why were the gromflomites holding you prisoner? What the fuck is so valuable about you?"

"I am no more valuable than life itself. However, I am able to alter the composition of atoms, like this." An electric fuzz went through Fart before a lump of gold materialised, dropping to the ground beneath him. "That was oxygen. I added seventy-one protons to it."

Rick picked up the gold. "Ah, terrific. The fart that pooped gold. No wonder every cop in the system is lookin' for us!" Rick put the gold in one of his coat pockets. "Any species that gets a hold of this thing is gonna use it to take over the galaxy. Do you know how inconvenient that's gonna be to my work?" Everyone then started to hear police sirens. Rick, Lincoln and Lana rushed to the window and saw that the place was surrounded by flying police vehicles. "Somebody dropped the dime on us. Gearhead..."

Rick turned around to see Gearhead pointing a gun at Rick. "I'm sorry, Rick. The reward on your head is too high. And like you always say, you gotta look out for Number One."

Rick scowled. "Number One is me, asshole! You're supposed to be my friend!"

Gearhead raised an eyebrow before glaring at Rick. "Friend? Do you even know my real name? It's Revolio Clockberg Junior. I belong to an entire species of gear people. Calling me 'Gearhead' is like calling a Chinese person 'Asia-face'." Suddenly, Hops stuck his tongue out, snatching Revolio's gun away from him. "Ah!"

Rick grinned. "All right! Let's go Hops!" Rick then kicked Revolio in his crotch. This opened up Revolio's lower compartment, revealing two blue gears. Rick took the gears out, then took out two of the gears that made up Revolio's mouth before sticking the blue gears into his face. Revolio moaned in pain, clutching his mouth and his groin. Lincoln cringed at the site while Lana just looked confused. "Two things I wanna make clear to everybody in this room." Rick then announced. "Never betray me, and it's time to go."

Lana went over to pick up the tank of frogs before everyone piled into Rick's cruiser. Rick then flew off, breaking through a window. Two gear police then entered the building, pointing their guns. "Nobody move!"

Revolio then raised his hands, revealing the blue gears as he tried to communicate with them. Both policemen's eyes widened in horror. "Oh my god."

The other policeman pointed at him. "Are those...?" Both of them started vomiting oil and metal.

...

Rick flew through the city as the police chased after them, firing lazers at them. Rick opened his window and tried to fire back at them. Turning back around, Rick's eyes widened as he was heading towards a windmill made up of gears. Rick quickly manoeuvred his cruiser to fly in between the gears. One of the police following them wasn't so lucky as they crashed their vehicle into the windmill. More police started to give chase. Rick pressed a button on his wheel that activated another lazer underneath the cruiser that fired at the police. One of the police got shot down, crashing into a car. Looking out the window, Lincoln and Lana grimaced at all the damage that was being done. Rick then spoke to them. "Hey remember earlier when you guys said you were just trying to help someone? Kinda looks like there's a lot more people that need help now."

Lana looked distraught. "W-We were just trying to do the right thing."

Lincoln then came to a sudden realisation. "Wait why are we even flying through the city anyway? Can't we just fly away from this planet?"

Rick opened his mouth to speak before closing it. He couldn't seem to think of an excuse for what he was currently doing. "Ok, yeah. You're right. Let's go." Rick flew upwards and increased his speed so he could escape the police and leave the planet. "Let's get to the Promethean Nebula, so my grandkids can finish savin' a life!"

...

Eventually, Rick made it to the Promethean Nebula, a jungle planet filled with dinosaur-like creatures. "The wormhole is seventy of what you call 'meters' what you call 'north' of what you call 'here'." Fart explained as Rick parked his cruiser.

"Fine. Lincoln, Lana, take your fart to his hole and say your goodbyes. I'm gonna find some fuel." Rick told them as Lincoln and Lana stepped out of the cruiser along with Fart. Rick then noticed Lana had left her frog behind as Hops leapt up in front of him. After making sure Lincoln and Lana were out of earshot, Rick smiled and opened his palm out towards the frog. "Hey there, little fella." Hops jumped onto Rick's hand, croaking happily at him.

After walking through the jungle for a bit, Lincoln, Lana and Fart eventually reached a strange looking portal. "Here it is. This should take me back to my kind." Fart stated.

"We're really gonna miss you, um, Fart." Lincoln told him.

Lana smiled sadly. "At least you got a cool new name, huh?"

"I will be back soon, children." Fart stated.

This was a pleasant surprise to the two as Lana grinned. "Really?"

"After I return to the others with this location, we will be back for your cleansing."

Lincoln started to get worried. "Cleansing? Uh, what do you mean by that?"

"Carbon-based life is a threat to all higher life. To us, you are what you would call a disease. Wherever we discover you, we cure it. You said yourself that life must be protected even through sacrifice." Lincoln and Lana stared at Fart in shock as both of their eyes started to water. "Neither of you have changed your mind about that. I can sense your thoughts." There was a short pause. "Lincoln. Lana."

Lincoln and Lana wiped their tears before Lincoln spoke. "Um...Before you go...Could you sing a...C-Could you sing for us again?"

"Yes, Lincoln." Fart engulfed Lincoln and Lana, causing them to hallucinate again as Fart started to sing.

Cosmos without hatred

Diamond stars of cosmic light

Lincoln and Lana saw a vortex.

Quasars shine through endless night

Lincoln and Lana rode Fart as he flew through the galaxy towards a moon.

And everything is one in the beauty

The moon spun around before turning into Lincoln's head. The head opened his mouth as a rainbow came out of it along with Lincoln, Lana and Fart riding down it.

And now we say goodby—

"Ahhhh" Fart groaned. A teary eyed Lana had taken out the gun she got from Krombopulos Michael and shot him, causing him to slowly burn away. "Lana...why...why? Uh!" Lana then shot him a couple more times until Fart completely vanished.

Lana dropped the gun before going to hug Lincoln as she let her tears flow. "Goodbye."

After comforting Lana for a bit, Lincoln and Lana made their way back to Rick. He was currently storing strange looking rocks in the trunk of his cruiser. Hops was sat on his shoulder. Upon seeing Lincoln and Lana, he smiled at them. "Hey kids, did you do it?" Upon seeing the downcast looks on their faces, Rick's smile dropped. "Oh. I see. I'm guessing there was more to that fart then you thought huh?" Lincoln and Lana nodded. "Well, you know, take this as a life lesson. This might sound a little hypocritical from me but maybe you shouldn't just break the law just because you think you might be in the right about something. 'Cause you know, there's tons of people out there that join causes, thinking that 'cause they're on the right side, they can do no wrong. But then they get all the facts and they realise 'oh shit, I'm the bad guy here'. You understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

Lincoln and Lana sighed. "Yeah, you're right Grandpa Rick." Lincoln admitted.

Lana then perked up upon noticing something. "Hey, why's Hops sitting on your shoulder?"

"Uh..." Rick started to look sheepish.

Lana grinned. "Have you been playing with Hops?"

Rick scowled. "What? No! Why would I waste time playing with some dumb frog? I only held onto him because you left him here." Rick leaned forward towards Lana. "Alright, now go back to your owner." Hops didn't move. "Go on." Hops simply croaked happily.

"Aw, he doesn't want to leave." Lana gushed. Lincoln started laughing while Rick groaned in embarrassment.

...

As the group flew home, Lincoln was now sat in the back with Lana while the tank was moved to the front with Rick. Lincoln noticed Lana was still looking kind of down. "Are you okay Lana?"

Lana sighed. "I miss my husband, Lincoln."

"W-What?!"

Lana shook her head. "Nothing! I'm just thinking..." Lana rubbed her arm. "Maybe stealing all those frogs wasn't the right thing to do."

Lincoln sighed. "Yeah. You're right. If only there was some way we could help them without breaking any rules." Hops stuck his tongue inside Lana's pocket, getting out her portable projector. Lincoln grinned. "Hops! You beautiful, green, warty genius! Up high, buddy." Hops gave Lincoln a high five using his tongue. Lincoln then remembered something as he looked at Rick. "Oh yeah, Grandpa Rick, if you do any more deals with assassins, we're telling Mom and Dad."

"What?! Oh come on!" Rick moaned. Lincoln and Lana gave Rick stern looks. "Ugh, fine."

...

Back on Earth, Lincoln and Lana returned the tank full of frogs to the school before showing Lana's projector to Mrs. Johnson and their principal. A balding elderly man with a moustache, wearing a dark blue suit jacket. Principal Huggins sobbed as he finished watching the film. "That was the most beautiful thing I've ever seen!"

"Don't hog it, Huggins! I wanna watch it again!" Mrs. Johnson sobbed as she took the projector from Huggins.

"See? Frogs are way cooler on the outside." Lincoln argued.

"There is no way we're dissecting them." Principal Huggins stated. "But what are we going to do with all these frogs?"

"Ahem." Rick interjected. "If I may make a suggestion, why not just put them on display?"

Principal Huggins thought for a moment. "Hmm. Not a bad idea."

After they all finished talking with Principal Huggins, Lincoln, Lana and Rick left his office. Lincoln turned to the audience. "Well that adventure was..." Lincoln's expression dropped. "Kinda traumatising..." He perked back up. "But at least we managed to help all the frogs. And we did it the right way."

Rick turned to Lana. "Hey, you remembered to count all those frogs right?"

Lana looked at him, confused. "Huh?"

"Because you know, if you left one of those frogs behind on any of those planets, if they didn't end up dying, they could end up causing some complications with the other wildlife that live there." Rick explained.

"Uh yeah. I counted them."

"All right, good."

As Rick walked off, Lincoln gave Lana a pointed look. "You didn't count them, did you?"

"Nope."


	15. Fandom Assimilation

It was late at night and just about everyone was asleep apart from one person. Lucy quietly opened the door to her room and crept into the bathroom, making sure not to wake anyone up. With her, she carried a flash light and some kind of book. After entering the bathroom, Lucy closed the door and put down the toilet seat lid for her to sit on before turning on the flash light and reading the comic book. The book being titled 'Princess Pony'. Lately, Lucy had started to become sick of her usual activities. She needed a break from the darkness. After accompanying Lincoln to the comic book store, she had spotted the book and on a whim, she had bought it in secret. As much as she hated to admit it, this story about colourful, cutesy ponies actually seemed appealing to her. She knew there'd be risks though. She knew how the rest of her siblings would react if they found out someone like her was reading something like this. She didn't think she'd be able to handle the teasing. This was why she reading it now in secret.

Lucy then jumped as she suddenly heard someone's door creak open. She started to panic. Not having enough time to think of what else she could do, she got up and threw the book into the toilet and then hid behind the bath curtains before a groggy Lincoln came in. Once he had done his business, flushed the toilet and left, Lucy quickly left the bathroom, closing the door behind her before creeping back into her own room.

...

The next morning, Lucy awoke to the sound of water splashing and her sister, Lola, screaming. "LINCOLN!"

Lucy got up and left her room to see Lola in front of the bathroom, which had water spilling out of it while the rest of her siblings were lined up behind her. Lola glared at Lincoln. "You clogged the toilet again?!"

Lincoln frowned. "What makes you think I did it?"

"Because every time the toilet gets clogged, it's always been you!" Lola argued.

"Ok, true but this time, it wasn't me. I swear!" Lincoln rebuffed.

"W-What's going on?" Rick grumbled as he came upstairs. Unlike everyone else, Rick's room was downstairs, connected to the garage as he had built his room himself.

"Lincoln clogged the toilet again!" Lola tattled.

Rick glared at Lincoln. "Oh good job, Lincoln, you clogged the only toilet in the house."

Lynn also glared at Lincoln. "Yeah, great job, Lincoln."

As this was all happening, Lana had gone into her room and came back carrying a heavy plunger. "This looks like a class 5 clog. I'm gonna need Big Bertha for this one." She entered the bathroom and closed the door behind her. Not too long after, she came out holding a soggy, crumpled up comic. "Well, here's the culprit."

Everyone there looked at the comic in confusion. "Princess Pony?" Lori asked.

"Yeah, I wonder who'd read something like this?" Lana squinted her eyes at her twin. "Lola."

Lincoln glared at Lola. "Of course! It must have been Lola!" He pointed at Lola. "You're the only one who'd read something like that. And you tried to pass the blame onto me!"

Luna gave Lola a disappointed look. "Not cool, dude."

Lola looked offended by the accusations. "Um, excuse me? That is not mine! I may be girly and pink, but I do have standards!"

All the siblings and Rick started to argue amongst theirselves apart from Lucy, who kept out of it, trying to stay in the background and Lori, who raised her hands to get everyone to stop. "Everyone, be quiet!" Lori called out, making everyone stop. "Look, there's no real proof that either Lincoln or Lola did it, so until there is, we should just let Mom and Dad handle it for now. Ok?" A couple of the sisters muttered in agreement though Lucy noticed Lincoln and Lola were still glaring at each other.

...

After being informed of what happened, Lynn Sr. had contemplated grounding everyone until the culprit revealed themselves until Rick argued on their behalf, arguing that grounding everyone for what one person did was unfair (though Lucy suspected the only reason that Rick defended them was because everyone being grounded would interfere with his adventures). Lynn Sr. relented and decided to let everyone off before he and Rita tried to investigate who could have done this. Lucy felt bad for letting Lincoln and Lola take the blame but with no real proof that either of them did it, Lucy thought that the whole incident would eventually be dropped. She doubted they would ever suspect her anyway. Later on at night, Lucy pushed it all out of her head as she sat on the couch next to her Edwin bust to watch Vampires of Melancholia. Lucy smiled. "This is it, Edwin. A whole new season of our favorite show, can't wait to watch it." She picked up her bust. "Just you and me."

"Hey Luce."

"Scoot over."

"Yah!" Lucy jumped out her seat. For once, she'd been the one to get scared as Lori and Leni sat on the couch. Recovering from the scare, Lucy cradled her bust as she looked at her older sisters. "What are you doing here? 'The Dream Boat' is on Monday nights, remember?"

"Duh, we're here to watch VoM!" Both Lori and Leni said simultaneously as they smiled at Lucy.

"First, please don't call it that, second, you guys have never been interested in my show, why are you-"

Lucy was unable to finish as both of them looked at the TV and squealed. "Ah! There he is!"

On screen, a taxi had pulled up to a creepy looking castle. A buff, handsome looking man stepped out of it. "Woah, this place looks sick."

Lori and Leni squealed again as they flailed their legs in excitement. "Blake Bradley!"

Lucy frowned. "Who?"

Lori blinked in surprise before picking Lucy up to look at her. "Duh, literally the cutest actor ever."

Leni took Lucy from Lori. "Didn't you know he was gonna be a new character on VoM?"

Lucy pushed both of them off of her. "Sigh, it's called-"

"Yo, anybody home?" Onscreen, the character Blake was playing had entered the castle.

Lori sighed, infatuated with the actor. "Why is he literally so dreamy?"

The scene then cut to a vampire going through a door at the top of a staircase. The vampire was carrying a candle as looked downwards towards the other man. Lori and Leni's expressions dropped. "Yikes, who's that creepy guy?" Leni asked.

"That's Edwin, the main character." A frustrated Lucy answered.

As Edwin came downstairs, the character Blake was playing approached him. "He-Hey, Uncle Eddie!"

"Tristan, my great-great-great-great grand nephew, this is a surprise." Edwin said monotonously.

"Looking good, are you sure you're really three hundred?"

"What brings you to Melancholia?"

"Just thought I'd crash at casa creepy for a while."

"Well, I must confess, I'm not really custom to sharing my castle with mortals."

"No worries bro, I can hang with anyone, now bring it in. Bro hug." Tristan hugged Edwin, who looked rather uncomfortable.

Lori and Leni had clasped each other's hands. Lori sighed. "So gorge!"

"You can just tell, he'd be a great boyfriend." Leni added.

Lucy was sat in between them. "What is happening?"

Later on as the credits were rolling, Lucy had her arms folded while Lori and Leni were still swooning over the actor. Lori sighed. "That was literally amazing."

"Totes, this is definitely gonna be our new Friday night thing, Lori, me, you, and VoM." Leni said as she rubbed Lucy's head affectionately, unaware of Lucy gritting her teeth. She did not want to spend every Friday listening to Lori and Leni squeal over some actor. It was obvious to her that was the only reason they'd watch this. Neither of them had watched an episode beforehand and Lucy couldn't stand the fact that they'd only watch it for such a vain reason. Lucy supposed she could just use interdimensional cable to watch a version of the show without Tristan but she and everyone else felt that if they used the cable to try and find perfect versions of the shows they watched then there wouldn't really be much point in even watching TV. Which was why in that regard, they kept to the shows from their own universe. She had to think of a way to put them off the show.

Before Lori and Leni could get up and leave, Rick entered the living room. "Hey, if you're done with that vampires of whatever show, anyone wanna join me for a ride through space?"

Lori raised an eyebrow at Rick. "Really? This late?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "It's only 'this late' on this side of the planet."

Lori then got distracted as her phone started to ring. She turned back to Rick. "Yeah, I'll pass." She answered her phone as she got up to leave. "Hey, Tammy. How are things?" Lori had to admit, she was grateful for Rick upgrading her phone so she could talk to people across the galaxy.

After Lori had left, Rick turned to Lucy and Leni. "You two?"

Leni smiled. "Sure, I'll go."

Lucy shrugged. "Sigh. I suppose I'll come."

Rick nodded. "Alright, looks like it's just the three of us then."

"Wait, Lincoln's not coming?" Lucy asked.

Rick rolled his eyes. "What, do I have to take Lincoln on every adventure now? Just felt like mixing it up for once. Come on, let's go."

...

Lucy was sat at the back on the cruiser while Leni sat up front with Rick. Lucy rather enjoyed flying through space. Staring out into the cold, dark, endless void gave her a few ideas for her poetry. She had to admit, this was kind of awkward though. Now that she thought about it, she and Leni rarely ever hung out together. This was mostly due to the two of them just being way too different. Lucy noticed Leni seemed to be thinking about something before she turned to Rick. "Say, Grandpa Rick, you're like, smart right?"

Rick raised an eyebrow at her before concentrating on where he was driving. "So I've been told."

"Do you have any idea who could have clogged the toilet?"

Rick shrugged. "Well, to be honest, I don't think either Lincoln or Lola did it. Whoever put that comic in the toilet obviously did it in a panic. I think the person who did it is someone we'd suspect the least. Someone who would rather die then be caught reading something like that. Right, Lucy?"

Lucy jumped at Rick suddenly calling her out. Did he know? "Um, y-yeah I guess." She replied nervously. Luckily, Leni didn't seem to notice anything wrong and before the conversation could continue, everyone suddenly heard beeping.

"Oh yeah, distress beacon! Yeah, baby!" Rick cheered.

"You're happy about this?" Lucy asked.

"The first rule of space travel kids, is always check out distress beacons;" Rick explained. "We'll either rescue a bunch of aliens and get rewarded for it or if the aliens are already dead, we get a bunch of free shit!"

Leni looked concerned. "Isn't that, like, stealing?"

Lucy shrugged. "I suppose the dead won't have much use for it."

Rick turned his cruiser around to track down the distress beacon signal. "Course there's always a chance that its a deadly trap, but I'm ready to roll those dice!"

...

After making it to the ship the distress signal was coming from, the three explored the ship for any signs of life. Looking around the metal corridors, Leni felt unnerved as the lights were out and some of the alien technology looked broken. "Guys, I think something really bad happened here."

Rick, who was carrying a flashlight, smiled. "Yeah. Cha-ching. Oh yeah, if you find a room full of eggs, don't shy away from it, give one of them a shake. Those facehuggers are worth more than this ship." Suddenly a door opened up behind them, causing Leni to yelp. Six ship crewmembers came out from the door. Rick smiled nervously. "Oh, hey! You're alive! Thank God."

The crewmembers were blue-skinned humanoids with three yellow-tipped protrusions on their heads. They all wore green uniform. There were five males and one female. The female one approached them, looking frightened and out of breath. "Can you help us? Our planet was taken over by some kind of...entity! It absorbed the minds of our people!"

"We didn't notice until it was too late." Another crewmember added. He started to sweat as he stepped towards the three. "The people it takes over, they look like your friends, your family, your leaders, but they're not themselves any more. They're part of It."

Rick folded his arms. "And how do you know it didn't get on the ship with you?" Rick pointed at the two crewmembers standing at the back. Unlike the others, their sclera was yellow instead of white. "Those two ding-dongs seem pretty calm about the whole thing."

The two then let out inhuman screeches and walked towards the other crewmembers. "Hey! No, no- uurgh!" They then grabbed the other crewmembers and started barfing some kind of green substance into their mouths.

Leni screamed in horror as she and Lucy went to hide behind Rick, who still had his arms crossed. "Called it."

Once they were finished, all of them stood up and turned towards Rick. All of them had yellow sclera now, indicating they were under something's control. Rick got his laser gun out just in case they were about to attack. To his surprise, all of them put a hand on their hips and smiled flirtily at him. "Hello, Rick. Long time no see."

Rick's eyes widened. "Unity?"

Lucy and Leni looked at Rick in confusion. "You...know it?" Lucy asked.

Rick put his gun away and scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Oh boy. Uh, these are my grandkids, Leni and Lucy. Leni, Lucy, this is uh, Unity. We sort of used to, uh, date."

Both Lucy and Leni's jaws dropped.

...

Unity had taken control of the ship and flown it towards its planet. A peaceful planet that seemed to be more technologically advanced than Earth according to how some of the alien looking buildings looked. Its sky was yellow and it had both green and blue grass along with purple bushes and lavender-colored mountains. After the ship landed, Rick, Lucy and Leni were greeted to a purple haired woman wearing glasses and a dark, scarlet suit. This appeared to be Unity's main body. Or at least the one in charge of running the planet. She had two bodyguards behind her along with a crowd of people. "Quite an operation you got going here Une." Rick folded his arms. "You're a whole planet now, huh?"

The woman spoke. "After we broke up, I spend some time wandering through space,"

"then I found this world," One of the bodyguards continued.

"where I was better able to focus on my passion for unification." The other bodyguard finished. By this point, it was obvious to Lucy and Leni that everyone here was under Unity's control.

Leni was still unnerved by all of this. "I don't get it. That's not a planet, it's a creepy alien thing that...takes over people's heads!"

Rick facepalmed. "Leni, rude. Why don't you kids run off and play with Unity while Unity and I do some catching up."

"They're not gonna barf into our mouths and absorb our minds, right?" Lucy asked.

Unity gave Lucy and Leni a reassuring smile. "You're guests here on my planet, you're free to be yourselves;" It glanced at Rick. "I've never been good at disappointing Rick."

Leni cringed. "Ewww..." She then begrudgingly walked off with four other blue aliens with Lucy following behind. While Leni may be disgusted, Lucy couldn't help but be somewhat impressed. She thought dating a vampire would be exciting but her Grandpa Rick had gone way beyond that.

After walking through the streets for a bit, Lucy and Leni stopped as Lucy noticed a newspaper stand and went up to read the newspaper headline. "World peace achieved."

Leni frowned. "This is so not world peace. Everyone's like, the same person here."

"Sigh. Truly, that would be the only way for world peace to be achieved." Lucy remarked.

"What?! No it's...not..." Leni tried to argue though she was a little unsure herself.

Lucy couldn't help but think about how her siblings would react to her reading Princess Pony again. "People are always attacking each other over small, petty differences. We'll never get world peace. That's just how people are."

Leni noticed the aliens following them were nodding their heads before she gave Lucy a look of concern. Sometimes it troubled her how Lucy always looked at things in such a dark way. Though she supposed Rick also looked at things that way as well. Maybe Lucy got it from him.

...

Meanwhile, Rick walked through the streets alongside a woman in a yellow suit. "So what's next?" He asked.

"After I become a type-one civilisation, this world will be invited into the Galactic Federation. You can imagine where things will go from there." The woman replied.

Rick grinned. "I like that. Destroying the federation by assimilating all of it. Oh, that's pretty sexy." The woman nodded before getting onto a bus while an old lady got off. "Hey listen, where can I get a drink around here?"

The old woman walked with Rick. "Recreational substances were phased out here. There's no need for escape from the self when your world is one."

Rick put an arm around her. "Unity, Unity, who am I talking to? I watched you assimilate a whole police station just to get your hands on the evidence locker."

The old woman entered a house as a delivery man approached Rick. "Rick, when we met, I was a young hivemind with the population of a small town." He got into his delivery truck. "People...change."

The delivery man drove off as a nearby busker, sitting down with a guitar, continued the conversation. "Especially when I change them. I'm sorry to disappoint you, but...I've grown."

"Hey, listen, I've grown too." Rick noticed a few people passing by giving him a questioning look. "I have! See, I've-I've reconnected with my family."

"Hm, why is that I wonder?" A nearby policewoman, leaning on her police car, asked as she gave Rick a seductive look.

Rick approached the policewoman. "Maybe it's part of getting old." He then took her hand. "Maybe I just miss being with...a collective."

The two put their arms around each other and started to make out. A small crowd then gathered to watch. "Yes Rick! Yes! Yes!" All of them moaned.

Rick then pushed Unity off him. "Wait, wait, stop! H-Hold it! Not like this." Rick grinned. "We need a hang glider. And a crotchless Uncle Sam costume. And I want the entire field of your largest stadium covered end to end with naked redheads! And I want the stands packed with every man that remotely resembles my father!"

...

Lucy and Leni were sat down in luxurious lounge chairs, eating hamburgers and being fanned as they watched a mountain get carved into Lucy and Leni's heads. While Lucy was relaxed, Leni still seemed uncomfortable. After noticing this, Lucy asked. "Are you ok Leni?"

Leni shook her head. "This is so wrong! Everyone's lost their indy...inda...umm..."

"Individualism?"

Leni nodded. "Yeah, that. This is just creepy!"

"I can hear you." Leni's fan holder stated.

Leni shuddered. "Ugh, see?" Leni sighed. "Can we just go back to Grandpa Rick?"

The fan holder looked away awkwardly. "Now's...not a good time."

...

Rick, dressed as Uncle Sam, flew into a stadium in a hang glider. "Oh yeah! I want youuuuuu!" Rick bellowed as he flew in.

The men in the stadium started to chant. "Go son go!"

...

Later on, Rick panted as he left the stadium, wearing a yellow bathrobe. "Oh my God. Oh my God." He leaned up against a lamp post before drinking from a bottle of water.

Three of the redheads followed him out, also wearing bathrobes, along with four bespectacled men wearing white shirts and ties. "Oh Rick, it was so bad."

"What's this 'was' stuff? I just need to hydrate and then we're doing that again!"

Rick and Unity then looked up, noticing a few rectangular space ships had flown in, stopping above them. Unity's eyes widened as it realised who this was. "Oh damn."

Rick was about to walk off. "Listen, if this is an invasion I gotta sit this one out, but I'll-I'll be back to have sex with the survivors."

"It's a neighboring hivemind species, Beta-7." Another redhead explained as a smaller, pyramid shaped shuttle, slowly dropped out of one of the ships. Once it landed, it opened up, revealing six boxes, each with identical, somewhat short, pale skinned, male humanoids which were all part of the hivemind. They almost resembled cyborgs as each of them also had one mechanical eye. "Our planet's maintained a practical alliance for exchange of vital resources." As Beta-7 approached Unity, it whispered to Rick. "So be nice!"

Beta-7 smiled. "Unity." He then looked at Rick and started to get nervous. "Is it a...bad time? Are all...present lifeforms...assimilated?"

One of the men stepped forward and gestured to Rick. "Beta-7, this is my single-minded friend from Earth, Rick."

"Rick...Sanchez." Beta-7 frowned bitterly. "Unity has spoken of you."

"All bad I hope." Rick laughed. Rick then patted Beta-7 on the back. All the Beta-7 then screamed and pointed at Rick causing Rick to jump back. "Whoa, Jesus Christ!"

"Beta-7!" They stopped screaming and looked at one of the redheads. All of Unity had its hands on its hips. "If my allies are a problem for you perhaps our alliance is as well."

Beta-7 approached it nervously while Rick went over to look at his shuttle. "Our alliance is beneficial. When Beta-7 expresses concern it-it's only...be-because..."

"Oh snap!" Everyone's attention was now on Rick as he held up two bags of powder. One green and one purple. "Powdered neutronium? Amphetetron? You know what I can make with this stuff?"

Beta-7 gave Unity a concerned look while it looked unsure. "Oh...Rick, I-I shouldn't..."

"Come on, it's not every day that I'm in town! It-it's for old time's sake."

"Uh..." Unity then smiled and walked towards Rick. "Okay, what the hell!" It took the green powder from Rick. "We can purify the resin and make fractal dust!"

Rick shrugged. "Oh, I was thinking velocitinis, but..."

"Aww, old man Rick can't party with the whole planet?" Unity teased. Rick and Unity laughed while Beta-7 watched them, frowning. Rick walked past him with his arms around two of the redheads. "I can do whatever you do and more, baby."

"Hrmm..." All of Beta-7 lowered his head as he started to leave.

Rick grinned as he watched Beta-7 leave. "You know, I think Beta-7 over there is hoping your alliance can be more than practical." Unity laughed along with Rick.

...

As Lucy and Leni walked through the streets, Leni leaned down to Lucy to whisper to her so that Unity couldn't hear them. "We should totally do something about this."

Lucy shook her head. "Sigh. We shouldn't interfere, Leni. Besides, Unity's been pretty nice to us so far."

"So? How do you know its not just pretending and just...start being mean out of no where? Besides it's wrong!" Leni suddenly shouted. "It's wrong, wrong, wrong!" Leni then suddenly grabbed a bespectacled man with a ponytail passing by and started to shake him. "Snap out of it! Stop...being...mind controlled!"

"Leni!" Lucy called out as Leni started to slap the man.

This didn't have any real affect on the man as he readjusted his glasses after Leni finished. "Why do you hate me, Leni?"

This made Leni pause. "Uh...I don't...hate you?"

Unity sighed. "Leni, before I took over this planet, this man was a registered sex offender."

Leni gasped. "He went around offending women?"

Unity blinked in surprise. "Well...something like that."

A woman stepped forward. "This woman was a..." Unity tried to think of a way to phrase this. "Well, she was in a very bad place. Almost on the verge of killing herself. Now she's a marine biologist."

A bespectacled man with a moustache and a goatee stepped forward. "I know taking away their free will may seem terrible to you but please understand, I have transformed life here into a paradise. Prostitutes are now scientists. The homeless are now phisosophers."

Leni looked confused. "Phisosophers?"

"Philophiluh...phiphophibup..." Unity babbled. It was starting to look sick.

"Phiphophiphophipholers?" Leni asked.

"I'm feeling...urk!" The man puked before falling to the floor. As he did, the people around them fell to the floor as well.

"Are you okay? Do you need help?" Lucy asked in concern.

"I'm fine." All of them replied.

...

At Unity's main house, a building that resembled a red version of the white house, it was currently throwing a party as all the people there danced to the techno music. It leaned on its desk as it looked at Rick with a flirty grin. "Do you know what I love about you, Rick?" It got up to lie across its desk. "You're the only single mind I've met who really sees the big picture."

Rick was sat on the couch, drinking. After he finished, he turned his head to it. "You got that right. But...baby, listen. Y-You're talking about taking over this planet and the federation, you gotta...you gotta just...remember to let go sometimes, you know."

It sat up and grinned. "I can let go!" She got up and gestured to Rick to come look out the large window behind her desk. "Hey, look! You see that town across the river? Watch this."

Rick watched while Unity put an arm around him. His eyes then widened in shock as a bunch of missles were suddenly fired at the town. "Whoa!"

"Ha ha! Woot!" Unity cheered as a nuke was then fired at the town.

"Whoa! That's not what I meant!" Rick shouted, panicking.

Unity laughed, leaning onto Rick. "It's okay! It's okay, I evacuated! I evacuated the town, look!"

Rick noticed a large crowd of people in the distance. "Hey! Right here! We're fine!" All of them said at once.

Rick started laughing nervously as Unity walked off. "Oh, that was awesome! My grandkids weren't in that town, right? A-Are my grandkids alive?" He looked at his cup. "H-Hey, my drink is empty."

...

Around town, more people were starting to puke while cars were starting to crash into each other. Lucy and Leni just narrowly avoided a car crash before Leni noticed the ponytailed man from earlier. "Unity, is something wrong?"

"Who's Unity?" The man asked. He then grinned creepily as he approached them. "You kids have nice feet." He got out his phone. "Mind if I take a picture?"

Leni recoiled in disgust. "Eww, no!" Leni took Lucy and walked away from the man as they looked around at all the people that were puking.

"Is Unity losing control?" Lucy asked.

Leni thought for a moment before shouting. "Do you guys, like, know who you are?"

A man in a red shirt looked at his hands as he had regained control of himself. "Yeah. My name is Ron Benson. I'm...an electrical engineer. Father of two, and as you can see from my flat concentric nipple rings." He grinned as he ripped his shirt open, revealing his ringed nipples. "I'm a member of this planet's top race!" Some of the other aliens cheered for him.

Leni tilted her head in confusion. "So you like...racing?"

Lucy started to get nervous. "I don't think that's what he meant Leni."

A bearded man with a yellow shirt stepped forward, glaring at the other man. "I'm Daryll Jefferson. I'm a landscaper." He pointed at the other man. "And I'll be damned if that ripple-nipple bitch's race is superior!" He took his shirt off, revealing his coned nipples. "The cone-nipple people will rule this world!"

"You shut your mouth, you dirty knife-nipple bastards!" Ron shouted.

"What'd you say to me, you target-chested piece of shit?" Daryl shouted back.

"Race war!" Someone shouted as everyone then started brawling with each other.

As riots started to break out throughout the town, Lucy and Leni had run off to hide behind a car as they watched the destruction. "Sigh. I'm beginning to realise why Unity chose to assimilate this planet."

Leni scratched her head in confusion. "So...the thing taking over people's minds was...the good guy?"

"I suppose when you put it like that, it is kinda hard to believe."

One of the rioters noticed Lucy and Leni behind the car. "Hey wait, what race are you guys?"

Lucy and Leni stood up, raising their hands defensively. "We're neither!" Lucy shouted.

"We're totes not even from this planet." Leni added.

"Hey! These two freaks have no race!" The rioter called out to the others.

Lucy and Leni started to run as the rioters chased after them. Eventually the two ran into a corner. "Oh no." Lucy said as she and Leni turned towards the slowly approached crowd. Realising that they had no where to go, the two hugged each other and closed their eyes, preparing for the worst. "Leni, I'm sorry for all the times I scared you."

Leni sniffled. "I'm sorry I didn't try to hang out with you more until recently."

Lucy gave her a surprised look. "Wait, what?"

Before the rioters could attack, three SWAT team members still under Unity's control, came down from a rope hanging from a hovercopter. The three blocked the rioters with their riot shields as a fourth one came down and picked up Lucy and Leni, bringing them up to the hovercopter. After the other three came back in and sat down, one of them opposite where Lucy and Leni sat spoke. "Hello, Leni. Hello, Lucy."

"It's okay! You're safe now." The pilot shouted back at them.

Lucy looked at the SWAT team member sat next to her. "Unity?"

"Yes."

Leni sighed in relief. "I'm sorry Unity. I guess I should have trusted you after all."

Lucy looked at Leni. Usually, Leni was the first to try and find the positives in other people. While she could understand being put off around someone like Unity, she wondered why she didn't even try. "Why didn't you try to give Unity a chance?"

Leni scratched the back of her head. "I dunno...I guess after the whole Mr. Needful thing, I thought that maybe I shouldn't trust these kind of people so easily." Lucy nodded in understanding. Again, she couldn't really blame her for not trusting someone like Unity.

"Oh, Leni, you did nothing wrong!" The pilot reassured them. "I'm having fun with your grandpa! Lost a little control. Probably shouldn't be piloting a hovercopter, nor should I be...running two hundred thousand pediatric hospitals and twelve million deep friers, but hey! It's not like this planet can take its business elsewhere!"

Leni started to get worried. One important thing she remembered from her driving lessons was to never drink and drive. "Uhh, maybe we should stop and get a coffee or something?"

"No, no, if I wanted to be sober, I wouldn't have gotten drunk!" Unity cheered as it clumsily flew the hovercopter away from the city. "Wooohoooo!"

Trying to ignore the possibility of the hovercraft crashing, Leni's thought drifted to something else, causing her to sigh. "What is it?" Lucy asked.

"I just don't get it. Why was everyone fighting over dumb, small things that didn't matter."

"Sigh. I don't really get it either." Lucy suddenly felt guilty upon saying that. Didn't she have a gripe with Leni and Lori earlier over something small and petty? Was she a hypocrite, no better than the people down there rioting? Thinking about it, she decided she needed to talk to Leni and Lori whenever she had the chance.

...

Entering Unity's house, Lucy and Leni saw that the whole place was a mess with blue aliens strewn about everywhere, all of them looking like they were about to pass out. Unity's main body had lost its jacket and was slumped over on its desk. "This place is such a mess." Leni remarked.

Unity suddenly sat up. "Oh, it's cool! The part of me that's the cleaning lady is coming on Friday." Unity gasped as it looked at its watch. "Oh my God! I have a meeting at the Galactic Federation in an hour. Oh, I'll never make it! Ah, I'll push it to next week."

Lucy and Leni glanced at each other, concerned with Unity, before Lucy spoke. "Maybe we should take Rick and leave."

Unity waved its hand dismissively. "Nah, it's fine, don't worry about it. This just looks a lot worse than it really is. We're just having a good time. Why don't you both relax for a bit? You can chill here."

Lucy frowned. "Sigh. I'm gonna go look for Rick."

Unity's eyes widened. "W-Wait! Don't do that. Look, I'll bring him here, just wait a moment."

About a moment later, a shirtless Rick, wearing a sombrero and a fake moustache, stumbled in, holding a bottle of beer. "What the hell...is your problem?"

"Grandpa Rick, don't you think we should be going home now?" Leni asked.

"Fine, geez!" Rick stumbled over to a table full of empty bottles. He pushed them away to find his portal gun before picking it up and firing a portal. "See ya!"

"You're not coming?" Lucy asked.

"Tend your garden, kids, I'm kinda doing a thing here." Rick put his arms around a man and a woman who cheered and giggled in response.

Leni approached Rick with a look for concern. "Grandpa Rick...are you hurting Unity?"

Rick blinked in surprise as he let go of the two aliens. "What? No, I'm not hurting Unity. What makes you say that?"

Leni rubbed her arm. "It's just that...when we got here, everything was all nice and peaceful but...now everything's going wrong and Unity kinda looks sick. Did you do something bad to Unity?"

Rick felt uncomfortable at the look Leni was giving him. In fact, he couldn't stand the look Leni was giving him as he tried to look away. "No...no I didn't do anything to Unity. Look it's fine, really. Unity and I are fine." Rick didn't sound totally sure of himself as he started to gently push Leni and Lucy towards the portal. "Look, you kids just go home and don't worry about all of this, ok?"

Leni gave a worrying glance to Unity before leaving through the portal. Lucy also turned Unity. "Take care of yourself, Unity."

After she left, Rick turned to Unity. "I'm not looking for judgement, just a yes or no. Can you assimilate a giraffe?" All of Unity looked at Rick with an unsure expression.

...

Lucy and Leni exited the portal into the living room where it was now daytime. At that moment, Lori also walked into the living room, texting on her phone. Her eyes widened upon seeing Lucy and Leni. "Guys, you're back! Where's Rick?"

Leni sighed. "Grandpa Rick wanted to stay behind for a while."

Lucy then spoke up. "Lori, Leni, I need to confess something."

Lori and Leni turned to her. "What is it Lucy?"

"Remember last night when you watched Vampires of Melancholia with me?" Lori and Leni nodded. Lucy rubbed her arm. "I wasn't happy about that. In fact I was thinking of a way to try and make you both stop."

Lori looked slightly upset. "Why?"

Lucy's arms slumped. "Sigh. Because of dumb, stupid reasons that don't even matter. I shouldn't have thought like that. I shouldn't have judged your reasons for watching it. It's fine if you still want to watch it with me...though I understand if you don't want to now. I'm sorry."

Lori and Leni glanced at each other before Lori spoke. "Lucy, Tristan may have been the reason we got into the show but to be honest, it also gave us an excuse to hang out with you more."

Lucy looked surprised at that. "Really?"

Leni nodded. "Yeah but, if you don't want us to watch it with you then..."

Lucy shook her head. "No. Actually, I think I'd like to watch more of it with you guys now."

Lori smiled. "Well we could watch the older episodes of VoM together if you want."

Lucy smiled. "I'd like that." Lucy couldn't help but be grateful that Lori and Leni were so understanding. Though, as she heard the faint sound of Lincoln and Lola arguing upstairs, she wondered if they'd be as understanding if they found out about the comic. She almost wanted to confess that as well but she ultimately decided to keep quiet about it.

...

Rick was sat on the couch, watching TV with Unity. "Ok, ok, now make him cry. But happy cry. Now make 'em all make fun of the blonde one. Now make 'em all do it on the table! I can't believe you created a whole show for me. Now cancel it! Ok, now put it back on. Haha!" Rick folded his arms."Alright, I'm bored."

Unity turned to Rick. "Rick, is there a way for you to call Leni and Lucy? I feel bad that they-"

Rick waved his hand dismissively, interrupting it. "Don't worry about them." Rick got up, about to go to the bathroom. "Uugh, I'll be right back. Look, they're good kids, but they're way too needy and hyper-emotional. It runs in the family. They're the kind of people that try to act they know right from wrong, only to start crying once they find out they're in the wrong about something. You know what I mean?" Unity looked downwards in response. "Back in a flash."

After Rick had finished his business, he went to the sink to wash his face and hands. He looked at himself in the mirror. "Best weekend ever, Rick! I agree, Rick! Let's see how long we can go!" Once finished, he made his way out of the bathroom. "Hey Une! You got any more-" Rick paused. The whole room was completely empty.

He looked around until he spotted a note on Unity's desk. He picked it up and read it. 'Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes. I'm not strong enough to do it in persons.'

Rick left the house and went into the empty town. More notes were strewn around. Rick picked one up. 'I realise now that I'm attracted to you for the same reason I can't be with you. You can't change. And I have no problem with that, but it clearly means I have a problem with myself.'

Another note. 'I'm sure there's no perfect version of me. It doesn't matter who I unify. It wouldn't even matter if I unified the whole Federation. I'm sure I'll never really be complete.'

Another note. 'But I know how it goes with us. I lose who I am and become part of you. Because in a strange way you're better at what I do without even trying.' Rick's thoughts briefly drifted to Lisa before concentrating on what he was reading again. 'Yours, and nobody else's, Unity. P.S. I don't know where those coal miners were before they got assimilated. You might want to get checked.' Rick dropped the note and put his hands in his coat pockets as he went to find his cruiser.

...

After coming home, Rick could hear Lincoln and Lola arguing upstairs over something that was probably irrelevant. He went into the living room to see Lori, Leni and Lucy watching Vampires of Melancholia together. He had a dull expression on his face. "Hey."

Leni turned to look at him. "Grandpa Rick, you're back!" She got up. "What happened with you and Unity?"

Rick shrugged. "Eh. You were right Leni. Me and Unity? We just wouldn't work out, you know. Anyway, I'll be in the garage."

As Rick left, Lori turned to Leni and Lucy. "Who's Unity?"

"A hivemind that could take control of other people's minds." Lucy answered.

Leni smiled. "It was nice!"

Lori smiled as well. "Wow...I could literally have gone without knowing something like that exists out there."

Once Rick entered the garage, he downed the contents of his flask until it was completely empty. He then tossed it behind him and rested his hands on his desk, a depressed look on his face. He looked towards his equipment. He bent down and opened the cupboards. He took out two red light bulbs and put them onto his desk. Before he could do anything else though, he heard a voice behind him. "Grandpa Rick?"

Rick turned around. The voice had come from Lana as she had just entered the garage. "What?"

Lana looked somewhat awkward. "I was just wondering, I know you said your space cruiser was too complicated to fix but..." She clasped her hands and had a pleading look on her face. "Could you please teach me about it? I really wanna try working on it someday."

Rick thought about it for a moment. He had to admit, Lana was a natural when it came to machinery and fixing things. Imagine what she'd be able to do in twenty years. And hey, it'd be nice to teach something to his grandkids that didn't upset them for once. He smiled at her. "Sure, Lana."

...

"Unity! Unity! Unity!" The next day, an angry Rick had taken his cruiser to a diamond shaped space ship.

A screen popped up from inside Rick's cruiser, displaying a transmission from Beta-7. "How can I assist you?"

"I wanna talk to Unity. Beta-7, I know it's in there!"

Sat next to Rick was Luan who had folded her arms, giving Rick an annoyed look. "I thought you said we were going to a movie."

"We are!" Rick snapped.

"You're classified as a hostile entity and Unity doesn't want to talk to you." Beta-7 calmly explained.

Rick scowled. "I know your game, Beta-7, I've met a billion of you, you little on-deck in-the-wind shoulder to cry on!"

"You are classified as a hostile entity."

"Oh, you're just loving this, mother f-" Rick grabbed his head and tried to calm himself. "This isn't gonna shape out like you think, pal! Unity's not into other hiveminds! It's gonna suck you in and use you up and a month from now I'm going to be making out with all of you in a bunch of red wigs!" Rick grabbed the screen and shook it. Beta-7 smirked in response. "Unity! Unity! Unity, I know you can hear me! Get out here!"

"Weapons systems engaged."

"Oh, in your dreams you have weapons systems."

"Guess he should be called Alpha-7, because it looks like you're the beta now!" Luan joked before laughing. Rick growled in response.


	16. A Total Rickall While Undie Pressure

It was a rainy day outside. Lana came running into the house, carrying some mud in her arms. "In a couple more hours, this mud will be perfect to play in!" She said before splashing the mud all over her face.

Apart from Lincoln, all the Loud siblings were downstairs doing there own activities. The Loud parents had gone out for the evening leaving the siblings to be looked after by their uncle on their mother's side, Steve. A blonde, bearded man who was currently reading a newspaper in the living room. Lily was simply playing with her toys while Luan was folding up laundry. Lynn was playing with a basketball, throwing it around. "She shoots! She scores!"

Luna was holding a radio to her ear, jamming to the song. "I bloody love this song! Sing it like you mean it, Mick!" She exclaimed in a British accent. She then jumped as Lucy stuck her head out of the fire place. "BLIMEY!"

"I'm trying to write here." Lucy said, annoyed.

Lola, Lisa, Lori and Leni were sitting on the couch. While Lola was admiring herself with her pocket mirror, Lori had started a conversation with her uncle. "It was so nice of you to buy tickets for all of us to go to Paris, Uncle Steve."

Steve smiled. "Ah, don't worry about it. I wanted to thank you guys for letting me live here all this time, so I'm treating the family to a vacation!"

"That is, like, so sweet!" Leni said.

"Totes." Lori agreed. She then got distracted as she then got a text from Bobby. She giggled as she texted him back. "No, I love you more, silly."

"You two are, like, gonna be together for, like, ever." Leni remarked.

Lisa, who was holding a clipboard, then spoke. "Speaking of forever, Lori," she showed Lori her notes on her clipboard. "My study indicates you haven't used the bathroom in quite some time."

Lori gave her a disgusted look. "EWW! There is no way I'm being in your grody poop study!"

Lincoln then came into the living room, holding a comic. He spoke to the audience. "Ah, rainy days. Perfect for hanging out with the family and reading comics."

While looking into her mirror, Lola's expression dropped as she noticed Lincoln taking off his shirt and pants. She turned to him. "Groooooss!"

"What?" Lincoln asked, smiling. Not really bothered by Lola's reaction.

"Why do you always have to read your comics in your underpants?!"

"'Cause reading my comics with my clothes on is uncomfortable and distracting." Lincoln explained. "And you know how I like to be comfortable while reading comics. Now, scootch!"

As Lincoln sat down on the couch, Lola then jumped off. "ACK! You're gonna get butt germs everywhere! Ugh, it's bad enough you clog the toilet all the time! You have way too many annoying habits, Lincoln."

Lincoln rolled his eyes. "I keep telling you, I didn't do it last time. Besides, me annoying? You can't look away from the mirror for five seconds!"

"LIES!" Lola shouted. She then realised she was looking at her mirror right now. She closed it and smiled sheepishly.

Lincoln then turned to Lori. "And Lori, would it kill you not to talk to Bobby all the time?!"

"I do not talk to Bobby all the time!" Lori argued.

Lincoln then turned to Lisa, who was writing something on her clipboard. "And Lisa, you always do your weird poop studies!"

"It's quite fascinating work." Lisa replied.

Lincoln folded his arms. "See? You guys couldn't last ten minutes without doing your annoying things!"

"We could last longer than you!" Lori argued.

"I bet you couldn't!" Lincoln argued back.

A devious expression appeared on Lola's face. "Oh, really? Care to make it a little more interesting?" She started pacing around the room. "If we can stop doing our things longer than you can stop doing yours, then not only do you have to admit that you clogged the toilet, you have to give up reading in your underwear...FOREVER!"

"YEAH!" The rest of the sisters cheered.

"Hold it! What's in it for me?" Lincoln asked.

Lola smiled. "If you win, we'll never complain about your butt cooties again."

Lincoln put on a smug look. "Okay. But if I beat you, not only do you have to admit that it was actually you who clogged the toilet, Lola. You also have to buy me these beauties." Lincoln picked up an underwear catalog and pointed to a circled picture of red briefs. "Pure cotton, 2,000 thread count, non-binding elastic. I'll just call them my victory undies."

Lola rolled her eyes. "Still playing the blame game huh?" She scoffed. "Whatever. Deal. It's not like you're gonna win anyway."

"Great! So, if I have to read comics with my clothes on, Lola can't look in the mirror." Lola closed her pocket mirror and put it away. "Luna can't speak in a British accent." Luna put a hand over her mouth. Lana was about to run outside to play in the mud before Lincoln mentioned her. "Lana can't play in the mud."

"Dang it." Lana slumped as she walked back into the living room.

"Lori can't talk to Bobby."

Lori put her phone away. "Bobby who?"

"Leni can't say 'like'."

Leni grinned. "Like, okay."

"Lucy can't pop up and scare people."

"Huh?" Lucy had been deep in thought about something before Lincoln distracted her. "R-Right..."

"Lisa has to give up her weird studies."

Lisa put down her clipboard. "Forgive me, science."

"Luan can't tell bad jokes." Luan frowned in response. "Lynn can't turn everything into a sport." Lynn, who had been using a broom as a hockey stick, then started sweeping instead. "And...uhh..." Lincoln looked at Lily, trying to think of a bad habit she did. Crying? Nah, Lily didn't really cry that much anyway. And it's not like Lily could help any bad habits she had anyway. "And that's it."

"Deal." The rest of the sisters agreed.

"Pants up, buddy boy!" Lola added.

Lincoln started putting his clothes back on. "Okay, competition...starts...now!"

At that moment, Rick then came in, carrying some glowing rocks. "Hey Lisa, I brought these back in case you wanted to study them." Rick then noticed Steve and put the rocks down at the coffee table before speaking. "Who the fuck are you?"

Lori gave Rick an annoyed look. "Uh, our Uncle Steve? He's been living here almost a year now, are you losing your mind?"

"Hey, someone's been spending too much time around glowing rocks am I right?" Steve joked, getting a laugh out of the Loud siblings. Rick simply glared at the man before getting out a laser gun and shooting him in the head.

Everyone else then started to scream and panic. "What the hell, Rick?!" Lori screeched.

Rick put his hands up. "Everybody just relax for a second. There's no such thing as an 'Uncle Steve'. That is an alien parasite."

Everyone then watched as Steve screeched in pain before turned into a blue and purple worm-like creature, spewing pink liquid all over the couch. "B-But we've known him our whole lives!" Lori stammered in shock.

Rick put on some rubber gloves so he could pick up the parasite. "No, you haven't Lori. These telepathic little bastards, they embed themselves in memories. They use those to multiply, spread out, and take over planets. It's disgusting."

"Uncle Steve wasn't real?" Lincoln asked, still finding it hard to believe.

Rick dropped the parasite. "He's a real piece of shit! This is a big one, someone probably tracked in last week on the bottom of their shoe or on a piece of alien fruit."

Lori noticed Rick glaring at her and glared at him back. "Someone?"

"Get off the high road, Lori. We all got pink eye because you won't stop texting on the toilet."

"I-wha-you-" Lori stuttered, flabbergasted.

"But Uncle Steve taught me how to ride a bike." Lynn then said.

"No, 'Steve' put that memory in your brain so he could live in your house, eat your food, and multiply." Rick explained as he got out his laser gun to reload it. "We could be infested with these things, so we gotta keep an eye out for any zany, wacky characters that pop up."

"Ooh wee, whatever you want Rick! We're here to help!" Rick's friend, an alien that had recently moved to Earth with his fiancé, said cheerfully as he handed Rick a magazine. The alien was a little yellow person shaped like a chorizo with big eyes and a long nose. He wore a black top hat and a blue shirt that appeared to be very tight on him, as stretch marks could be seen around his neck.

Rick took the magazine, smiling at the alien. "Thanks, Mr. Poopybutthole. I always could count on you."

...

After Rick had cleaned up the mess the parasite had left, everyone was still gathered in the living room. They had soon gotten over what happened with Steve as after a while, their memories of him started to feel more like they had only imagined it while their real memories of past events started coming back. Rick got out a sticky note and wrote the number 13 on it before sticking it to the wall. "Alright, there's thirteen of us and that's it. Me, Lily, Lisa, Lola, Lana, Lucy, Lincoln, Lynn, Luan, Luna, Leni, Mr. Poopybutthole and Lori."

Lola squinted her eyes at Lincoln. "Just so you know, the deal's still on."

"What deal?" Rick asked.

Lincoln sighed. "Lola and I made a bet on who can resist doing their bad habits longer. Me or the rest of my sisters."

Rick raised an eyebrow. "Uh, don't you think there's more important things to be worrying about right now? I mean, can't we just agree that you all have habits that are either annoying, gross or weird and try to quit them or something?"

"No!" All the Loud siblings shouted. Rick groaned in response.

"Maybe you got the first one in time Rick!" Mr. Poopybutthole suggested.

"Can't afford to chance it." Rick pressed a button on his watch causing all the doors and windows in the house to be sealed off by blast shields.

Len looked worried. "Um, are we like, locked in?"

"Leni!" Lori berated.

Leni looked at her confused. "What?"

Leni Out

"Oh...right."

"Nice going." Lucy chastised, causing everyone to jump. "AAAHHHH!"

"OOH WEE!" Mr. Poopybutthole shouted.

Lucy Out

"Dang it."

Lola looked at Leni and Lucy in annoyance before turning to her other sisters. "Come on, ladies, stay focused!" Despite her annoyance, Lola was a little glad Rick had sealed everyone in the house. It meant that Lana would be unable to play outside in the mud, whether she wanted to or not.

Mr. Poopybutthole also looked nervous. "Ooh, gosh, it feels claustrophobic! Reminds me of that time we all got stuck in the elevator together. Y-remember that? After the Hulk musical?"

...

As Rick, the Loud siblings and Mr. Poopybutthole were stuck in the elevator, Lynn, wearing Hulk gloves, kept punching the elevator buttons. "Lynn, I don't think punching the buttons will literally do anything to help us." Lori chastised.

"Sure they will. Maybe I'm just not hitting them hard enough!" Lynn argued before going back to punching the buttons.

Lori groaned. "This is why we don't all get on the elevator at the same time."

"Why couldn't I bring my portal gun?" An annoyed Rick asked.

Lincoln was dancing in place, desperately needing to go to the toilet. "Ugh, why did all the drinks have to be extra large?"

"Just pee your pants. I did it as soon as we got stuck." Lana suggested. Everyone stared at Lana in disgust. "What?"

"Oh, y'all, we're gonna be fine. I've always been here for you guys, and I always will be." Mr. Poopybutthole chuckled, trying to reassure them.

Suddenly, a panel on the elevator roof opened up. "Somebody call for repairs?"

"Yay! Cousin Nicky!" Everyone cheered as they looked up."

"It's me, Cousin Nicky. I'm walkin' here! I mean, I'm not. I'm crouched in the elevator shaft, but hey, I'm walkin' here!" Cousin Nicky laughed.

...

Everyone laughed as they looked back at that memory fondly. "It's true. We really do get into some crazy situations as a family, mostly when we're cooped up like this. Hey, maybe Mr. Poopypants is right. L-Let's get some fresh air." Cousin Nicky suggested.

"Come on, Cousin Nicky. You heard Grandpa Rick. We have to stay quarantined until we know that there's no more of these things." Lincoln explained. He then looked over at Lola, who was attempting to apply makeup to herself without a mirror.

"See? I don't even need a mirror to put my makeup on." Lola claimed.

Lincoln snickered as Lola had put her lipstick and eyeshadow on unevenly. "Are you sure about that Lola?"

"Yes. Why? Is there something wrong with my face?!"

"Well-"

Lola put her hand up to stop him. "Wait! I don't wanna know!" She folded her arms, trying not to worry about the state of her face.

Meanwhile, Luna was listening to the radio. "Hey, cats and kittens, this is Jay Rock here! I'm giving away Mick Swagger tickets to the caller with... the best British accent!"

Luna's eyes widened. Seeing as everyone's attention seemed to be elsewhere, Luna snuck off and hid behind the curtains. She got out her phone to call the radio station. "Hello, you're on the air! Let's hear your best British accent."

"Come on, love, hand over those tickets." Luna whispered.

"Yeah, sorry, caller, I can't hear you!"

"Come...on love, hand over those tickets!" Luna whispered louder.

"If you don't speak up, you can't win!"

"HAND OVER THE BLEEDING TICKETS, MATE!" Luna shouted. Lincoln then pulled back the curtain. Lincoln gave her a smug look while the other sisters looked at her in annoyance. "Oh bloody hell."

Luna Out

"Hey, if you guys are done messing around, we've got a situation here." Rick said, getting everyone's attention. He pointed towards the sticky note. "Thirteen! There's only supposed to be thirteen people here. Now there's fourteen. One of us is a parasite." Rick glared at Nicky. "Cousin Nicky."

Cousin Nicky put his hands up defensively. "Whoa, whoa, you think I'm some parasite? Come on man, I'm just visiting here."

Lori's phone then started to ring. Realising that it was Bobby, she whimpered before hanging up. She then sighed and turned to Rick. "There's no way Cousin Nicky is a parasite. I mean, he's literally the reason we found that old nazi submarine. Remember?"

...

Rick, the Loud siblings and Cousin Nicky were all tied up as a nazi stood before them. The nazi opened up a chest, taking out a staff. "Now that I possess the mighty staff of Rah-gubaba, the world will tremble before the Fourth Reich!"

Lincoln glared at Rick. "This is the last time I ask you for help on my history homework, Rick."

Cousin Nicky glared at the nazi. "Hey, we got a word for nazis back in Brooklyn, pal."

"I'm comfortable being called a nazi. You think there's some other word that will hurt my feelings?" The nazi hit Cousin Nicky on the head with his staff. "Yeah. Think before you talk shit." The nazi held up the staff. "Rah-gubaba, help me kill America!"

Suddenly, the Loud's family butler came in and knocked out the nazi with his umbrella. "Mr. Beauregard!" Everyone cheered.

"After due consideration, I have elected not to retire." Mr. Beauregard announced, causing everyone to cheer. "Now, I believe someone needs help with their homework. Set a course for the Loud House!"

...

"Perhaps I'm biased, but if that story never happened, then I wouldn't still be the family butler." Mr. Beauregard chuckled. "Dare to dream."

Luna laughed. "Yeah dude. Who knows where we'd be without Mr. Beauregard. Man, I should've asked you to help me get those tickets."

Everyone was then silent for a moment. It was true that Mr. Beauregard could've helped Luna with getting those tickets as he had a thick British accent. "Um, why didn't you ask Mr. Beauregard, Luna?" Lola asked.

Luna looked confused. "I...don't know." Luna and everyone else then glared at Mr. Beauregard.

Mr. Beauregard looked nervous. "Well...ahem...you see I-"

Mr. Beauregard was then interrupted as Rick shot him. Like the last parasite, it revealed its true form and screeched as it bled all over the floor.

"I guess I killed the butler!" Rick laughed before getting serious again. "But there's still one other parasite among us."

Leni looked confused. "Wait...if Mr. Beauregard was a parasite, then how did he help us out all those times?"

Rick's eyes widened. "No! Don't flashback!

...

Leni grunted as she tried to get her head out of the staircase railings. Lori, Luna and Lincoln watched her, trying to figure out a way to help her. "Stop dude! You're just gonna make more swelling." Luna told her.

"It's okay Leni, I-I'm gonna call the fire department." Lori reassured.

"How's fire gonna help?" Leni cried before Mr. Beauregard poured a jar of marmalade on her head, allowing her to slip out.

"Marmalade is served." Mr. Beauregard announced as everyone cheered for the butler.

Headless Harry then came by. "I guess I take back what I said about British cuisine." He laughed before his loose head fell off. "Whoa!"

...

Rick, Lori, Leni and Mr. Beauregard were having a pillow fight in Lori and Leni's room before Luna and Luan's roommate, Sleepy Ginny, came in looking slightly annoyed. "We're trying to sleep."

...

Long Beard the pirate had Edwin chained to the mast of his ship as his crew made off with Edwin's coffins. "Argh, we've got your gold now, ye' scurry vampire."

Edwin had a pleading look on his face. "For the last time, those aren't treasure chests, they're coffins."

"Ahh, a likely story! And once we're through here, you'll be going off on a little sail, into the sunrise!" Long Beard laughed.

Edwin looked worried. "But, I'm a vampire, the sun will destroy me."

Long Beard got up into Edwin's face. "That's the idea you blood-sucking scallywag!" He then stood back. "Davey, shake a peg-leg!"

"Davey's all tied up."

Long Beard paused. "Huh? Who be saying that?"

One of the pirates pointed upwards. "Up there, in the crow's nest!"

Lucy was in the crow's nest along with her pet bat, Fangs. She was wearing a black dress. "Or in this case, bat's nest. Fangs, attack!" Fangs flew towards Long Beard who defended himself with his sword. Fangs managed to knock the sword out of Long Beard's hands and push him onto a tarp. Lucy then jumped down from the crow's nest and grabbed the rope that supported the tarp, pulling him inside as she landed on the deck and tied the end of the rope. Lucy then realised the sun was rising. "Gasp. Oh no, we're running out of time." Lucy then noticed the sail. She quickly grabbed the sword and cut the rope, having the sail cover her and Edwin.

Edwin smiled in relief. "You saved me Lucinda. How can I ever repay you?"

"Well, it wasn't all me." Lucy shly admitted. "I couldn't have done it were it not for Mr. Beauregard sneaking me on the ship."

...

"Truly, I would have surely perished were it not for Lucinda's efforts." Edwin said as everyone looked back on what they thought Mr. Beauregard had done for them.

"Everybody stop remembering!" Rick suddenly shouted.

"Whoa!" Shocked by Rick's sudden shouting, Headless Harry's head fell off again.

Lynn's eyes widened as she watched Headless Harry's head bounce across the floor. She didn't see a head. All she saw was a football. Before anyone could stop her, she grabbed the head and threw it to the ground. "Touchdown! Whoo hoo!"

Lynn Out

"Ow..." Headless Harry groaned as his body got up to pick up his head.

"Lynn!" Lola shouted angrily.

Everyone then heard someone banging on the blast shields. "Babe, what's going on? Why aren't you answering my calls?!" A desperate Bobby shouted from outside.

Rick groaned. "Ugh, Lori can you just call your idiot boyfriend and tell him to go away?"

"If she does that, she's out the game." Lincoln reminded them.

Lori slumped while Rick rolled his eyes. "Alright, everyone listen to me. These parasites are like bed bugs, and every flashback is another mattress." Rick picked up the sticky note and showed it to everyone. "Look! Besides, your parents, who are out, there's only supposed to be thirteen people in this house."

"But there's always been, like, seventeen." Leni argued.

Rick shook his head. "No! Uh, the fact that I wrote this number down means that there's four parasites."

"Are you certain about that, Rick?" Edwin asked.

"You sure youse even remember why you wrote that number down?" Cousin Nicky added.

...

"All right, there's thirteen of us and that's it. Me, Lily, Lisa, Lola, Lana, Lucy, Lincoln, Lynn, Luan, Luna, Leni, Mr. Poopybutthole, Headless Harry, Sleepy Ginny, Edwin, Cousin Nicky and Lori."

Lori gave Rick an odd look. "Uh, Rick, that's like seventeen people."

Rick gave her a crazy smile. "Thirteen, seventeen, what's the difference? I just love the number thirteen for no reason! Where's my pencil at?"

"Right here, Rick! Use me!" Pecilvester shouted as the walking pencil jumped into Rick's hand.

"Oh, thanks, Pencilvester!" Rick thanked him before writing the number 13 on the sticky note."

...

Rick thought about what happened. "Yeah, I-I g-I guess that is what happened, but I-I don't get why I would do that."

An idea then came to Lynn. "Guys, why don't we just check our photos? That should give us some hard evidence."

"Good idea Lynn." Lori said as she got out her phone.

Before she could look through her photos, Lori then heard Bobby shouting again. "Babe, what's wrong? Is something happening? Did I do something wrong?"

Lori whimpered as she got even more tempted to call Bobby. "Don't do it Lori." Lola warned her.

Lori gave Lola an apologetic look. "I'm sorry, Lola, I...I have to explain what's happening." Lori quickly dialed Bobby's number in order to call him. "Bobby?"

Lori Out

Lola facepalmed as Lori explained the situation to Bobby. As the situation with Lori had distracted everyone from looking at their photos, Edwin then turned to adress Leni. "You know, it's somewhat suspicious that Leni is friends with a magic ballerina lamb that we've never seen."

...

Leni was asleep in bed before the magic ballerina lamb flew into her room. "Leni!"

Leni woke up and smiled. "Tinkles! It's past my bedtime."

Tinkles giggled as she flew around Leni. "Not in never past bedtime land!" Tinkles then grabbed her hand as the two flew out the window. "Here we go!"

Tinkles brought Leni to a magical land filled with all sorts of cutesy, cartoony creatures. Tinkles brought Leni down to dance with them as Tinkles sang.

Leni and Tinkles, friends with each other

Living in never past bedtime land

No kitchen sinkles, no little brother

Going to raves and waving our hands

...

Rick had his gun aimed at Leni. "That is su-suspicious. We're always hearing about this Tinkles character, but we never get to-"

Before Rick could finish, Tinkles then flew into the living room. "Hi, everybody. I'm Tinkles, and these are my friends."

Other creatures from never past bedtime land then came into the living room, causing everyone to gush. "Awww."

Leni hugged Tinkles as she flew over to her. "See, I told you guys Tinkles was totes real."

Everyone besides Rick then started apologising to Leni. Luna then spoke. "Dudes, look. We don't need evidence to know who is and isn't family." Luna gestured to Luan, who had been in a mood ever since Lincoln and Lola's deal started as she simply sat on the couch with her arms crossed. "Luan's my sister. I've known her my whole life." Luna then gestured to Sleepy Ginny. "And Sleepy Ginny has been me and Luan's best friend for years!"

Sleepy Ginny smiled. "Thanks, Luna. Beyond that, no offense to any of you, but all bets are off."

Rick started to get frustrated. "Look, I'm not used to being this unsure for this long. I'm just gonna aim for shoulders starting with the bitchy girl." Rick aimed his gun at Lori and fired at her. She barely managed to dodge as Rick hit the TV instead.

"Aah! Rick!" Lori screamed.

Rick glared at her as he approached her. "Hold still, 'Lori'."

Cousin Nicky ran in front of Lori, trying to protect her. "Hey, hey, whaddya think you're doing? That's my cousin you're shooting at!"

Rick then aimed his gun at Cousin Nicky. "Oh, yeah? Well, what if you just think that, Cousin Nicky? I've known you for fifteen years. Don't make me hurt you."

"Rick, these are our family and friends, the people we barbecue with. You forget about the barbecue?"

Rick shook his head. "Wait, why would you want me to-You're one of them, aren't you?"

"Rick, you love those barbecues, Rick. You love them. Hai!"

"Remember it, Rick?"

Rick glared at the two. "Shut up, Hamurai! Shut up, Amish Cyborg! What is this? '90s Conan?"

"Remember the barbecue. Remember the barbecue. Remember the barbecue." Everyone chanted as Rick tried to resist having a flashback.

...

Rick, wearing a chef's hat and apron, was having a barbecue with all the closest friends of the Loud family. He smiled as he flipped a burger. "You know what, Pencilvester? It took me my whole life to realize it, but I love barbecuing."

"You're good at it, Rick." Pencilvester complimented as he held a bun.

Rick picked up another spatula. "Watch me, baby. I'm like Tom Cruise from, um, 'Cuisine' or w-whatever that movie's called where he makes drinks. Yeah, check me out. I'm like Tom Cruise from 'Cuisine'." Rick chuckled as he served a burger to Pencilvester. "Yeah. Is that what it's called? 'Cuisine'?"

"Wow! Hey, everybody. Let's give it up for the grill master, Rick! Rick! Rick! Rick!"

As everyone cheered for Rick, Rick suddenly came to a realisation. "Wait..."

...

As Rick snapped out of his flashback, he looked around the living room, which was now filled with all sorts of wacky characters. And he couldn't tell if any of them were real or not. "Noooooo!"

While most of the sisters were concerned with Rick's state of mind, Lincoln and Lola were still concerned with their deal as Lincoln glared at the four remaining sisters. Lola, Luan, Lana and Lisa. While Lisa and Luan seemed uninterested in the deal and Lana just looked sad she couldn't play out in the mud, Lola looked like she was about to crack. Meanwhile Lincoln wasn't having much of a problem at all as the situation with Rick had distracted him from reading any comics anyway. He smirked at Lola. "Had enough yet."

Lola tried to look confident. "Y-You haven't won yet! In case you forgot, it's still four against one!"

"Make that three. I'm afraid I must withdraw from this deal." Lisa then announced.

Lisa Out

Lola looked at her in shock. "What? Why?"

"Simply put, the situation with Grandpa Rick is far more crucial then this deal you've come up with to one-up our sole male sibling. Plus I resent my 'poop studies' as you have referred to it, being called an 'annoying habit'. It's a little more important than you realise."

Lola growled before turning to Lincoln. "Fine! Whatever, it's not as if you'll beat Lana anyway! How're you gonna beat her when she can't even go outside!"

Meanwhile, Rick was pointing his gun around the room, trying to figure out who was and wasn't real. Cousin Nicky approached him and put a friendly arm around him. "Alright look, I think youse should put down the gun and we should get youse to a doctor. What do youse say we take down these here blast shields, eh?"

Rick recoiled from Cousin Nicky. "Can't do that, Cousin Nicky. All right, everybody listen to me. I don't know if any of you guys are real, but this house has been infested with fake loved ones that spread through fake memories, and our planet will be destroyed if they get out."

Pencilvester jumped up onto the coffee table and pulled at Rick's lab coat. "But Rick, even you have to admit you do tend to get a little over the top sometimes."

...

Lincoln, Luan, Sleepy Ginny, Pencilvester, Ghost In A Jar and Edwin were all watching TV when Rick suddenly came in. "Guys you'll never guess what I brought home! I-I-I brought home a mud monster!" Everyone then jumped as the mud monster came in, making an unintelligible sound. "Yeah, crazy right? I just found him. I thought w-why the hell the not just take him home? So here he is! He-He's our pet now. The new Loud House family pet, here he is! The mud monster!"

...

"Okay, yes, I definitely remember doing that." Rick conceded. "But I mean, come on, look at him, he's adorable."

The mud monster blubbered something unintelligible. Meanwhile, Lana looked at him as if she had only just noticed him. "Mud..."

Lola's eyes widened. "Lana, no!" Lola wasn't fast enough to stop her as she jumped into the mud monster, giggling as she played around in the mud.

Lana Out

Lincoln gave Lola another smug look. "Guess you forgot about the mud monster huh?"

Lola looked like she was about to snap before taking a couple deep breaths and calming herself. "It's fine. It's absolutely fine. We've still got Luan. As long as she doesn't tell any bad jokes, we'll be fine."

Luan glared at Lola before getting up. "You know what, I quit too."

Luan Out

Lola gave her a shocked look. "What! B-B-But why?!"

"Well, sorry! Wouldn't want to bother anyone with my bad jokes or anything!" Luan said sarcastically before storming off upstairs.

Sleepy Ginny watched her leave with a look of concern. "I'd better go follow her." She said before going upstairs after Luan.

Luna looked at Lincoln and Lola. "Dudes, I think you hurt her feelings."

Lincoln scratched the back of his head, feeling guilty. "Yeah...I should probably try to apologise later on when I have the chance." He then turned to Lola, who had lowered her head. "After we finish this."

Lola then gave a sinister giggle. "You may have outlasted those amateurs, but now you've gotta deal with a REAL PROFESSIONAL!" She looked at Lincoln with a demented grin. At this point, her hair was completely frazzled and her make up was smeared to the point that she almost looked like an insane clown.

Nearly everyone was disturbed by Lola's behaviour. Even Rick got distracted by it. "Geez, does she always wear that much makeup? I mean that can't be good for her." Edwin shrugged in response.

Lincoln, however, was undeterred, getting up into Lola's face. "I won't give up! Especially if this is the only way to get you to admit that you clogged the toilet!"

Lola chuckled, still grinning. "Oh come now Lincoln, IT'S SO OBVIOUS THAT IT WAS YOU!"

"Lincoln didn't clog the toilet!" Lucy suddenly snapped.

"Huh?" Lola said as everyone stared at Lucy in confusion.

Lucy suddenly looked sheepish. "It was...It was me. I did it. I clogged the toilet!"

Everyone gasped from the revelation. However, another odd feeling then came over them. "Whoa, did anyone else just get deja vu?" Lori asked.

Lincoln looked weirded out. "Yeah, it's so weird. I feel like I've heard this a million times before."

"Yeah, it is pretty weird." Pencilvester agreed.

Lucy lowered her head and blushed in embarrassment. "I'm sorry, everyone. I just wanted a break from the darkness. I should have told you guys sooner but...I didn't want you guys to tease me."

Lincoln gave her a sympathetic look. "Aww, Lucy, why didn't you just tell me? I probably would've just taken the blame for you."

Lucy smiled though she still looked embarrassed. "Thanks Lincoln."

Lori also gave her a sympathetic look. "Look, it's okay Lucy, we all have embarrassing secrets. And if talking about it makes you uncomfortable, then I promise we won't even mention it again."

"Besides, there's nothing wrong with reading Princess Pony!" Tinkles added.

Lucy smiled at Lori gratefully. Meanwhile, Lola just look baffled as she realised her anger towards Lincoln may have been misplaced. "But...I...she...?"

Lincoln gave her a concerned look. "Are you okay?"

Lola giggled. "I-I'm fine. I'm still gonna win this just so you know!" As Lola giggled again, Lincoln wasn't really sure what to think.

...

As this was happening, Sleepy Ginny had caught up to Luan upstairs. Luan stood outside her room, with arms folded. "Luan?"

Luan sighed and turned to face Sleepy Ginny. "Look, I know what you're gonna say. That I shouldn't let their comments bother me. It's just that...when it's your own family saying that kind of stuff to you...it just hurts, you know?" Sleepy Ginny nodded in understanding. Luan sighed again. "I still remember what they said about me that day. Though it was nice that you and Hamurai and everyone else stuck up for me and all but still..."

Sleepy Ginny delicately placed a hand on Luan's cheek. "Luan, just so you know, I don't care what anyone else says, I've always found your jokes funny."

Luan smiled and placed her hand on Sleepy Ginny's. "Thanks, Sleepy Ginny." She then sighed. "I just wish we knew who the parasites were."

Sleepy Ginny gave her a comforting smile. "Well I know that you're definitely real. I mean, do you remember our vacation?"

...

Luan, wearing a yellow one piece swimsuit, was sat at the beach watching the most beautiful sunset she had ever seen in her life. As she listened to the waves and the seagulls chirping, Sleepy Ginny came by, wearing a two-piece bikini and carrying two bottles of soda. "Beautiful sunset, isn't it."

Luan nodded. "Yeah..."

Sleepy Ginny sat down next to her and handed Luan a bottle. Luan then accidentally dropped it. Both she and Sleepy Ginny reached to pick it up which caused their hands to meet. The two looked into each other's eyes before Sleepy Ginny brought a hand to the side of Luan's head, stroking her hair. "Not as beautiful as you though."

Luan chuckled though she still blushed at the compliment. "That's so corny." Sleepy Ginny smiled before bringing her lips to Luan's, kissing her passionately.

...

Luan blushed at the memory as Sleepy Ginny put a hand on her shoulder. "I don't give a damn what else happens out there. You and I are going to survive this."

Luan nodded. "Ok." Luan's eyes then widened as Sleepy Ginny brought her lips to hers. Luan couldn't help but feel like she was experiencing her first kiss all over again. A small part of her told her this was wrong but how could it be? Sleepy Ginny had been Luan's closest friend for years. She had always supported her and she always had her back. She'd never say terrible things about her behind her back. Which was why there was no one else she'd rather be with right now as she blissfully closed her eyes and pushed herself further into the kiss, forgetting about everything else that was happening now.

...

While she lost a bit of resolve after Lucy's confession, Lola still seemed determined to win. Though whatever anger Lincoln had towards Lola had gone as he watched his little sister rock back and forth. He couldn't help but be concerned for the state of his sister as she looked like she was close to hyperventilating. He knew how much Lola prided herself on her appearance and he was pretty certain Lola was aware of what she looked like right now. Not wanting to let Lola stress herself out any further, he spoke. "Look, maybe we should just put an end to this and forget about the deal, huh?"

"No!" Lola snapped, a frantic look in her eyes. "Lola Loud doesn't lose! Do you know what the other girls at the pageant would say about me if they found out I had a brother that read comics in his underwear?! I'd be a laughingstock!"

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "But...you don't do pageants any more."

"Oh...right..." Lola almost whispered as she gave Lincoln a blank stare.

Lincoln sighed as he knew what he had to do. "All right Lola, you win. I give up."

Lincoln Out

Lola Wins

Lola looked at him in confusion. "Huh?"

"If me reading comics in my underwear bothers you that much, then I'll stop. I just don't want you to stress yourself out over it any more." Lola stared at her brother for a moment before she suddenly sobbed. "Lola?"

"I'm sorry!" Lola said as she suddenly ran upstairs.

"Lola!" Lincoln shouted as he followed after her.

Rick sighed in relief. "Finally! I thought that would never end."

Suddenly, Edwin grabbed Rick's arms. "That is an interesting watch you have, Rick. Would you mind if I could see it?"

"Uh, no thank-ugh!" Edwin pulled Rick's arms to him and tapped at his watch. "Ok. Trying to figure out how to lower the blast shields, huh?" Rick pulled his arm away. "Anybody here think it's suspicious that a lot of people in here can't wait to get out of here?"

Edwin waved his hand dismissively. "Alas, you are filled with paranoia, Rick. You have been paranoid since 'nam."

...

Rick and Edwin, decked out in army gear, knelt down in the Viatnamese forest, looking out for enemy soldiers. "So, what are you gonna do when you rotate back to the world, Edwin?" Rick asked.

Edwin glared forward. "Shi-i-i-i-t. I'mma bust a-"

...

Rick shook his head. "Ugh, NO! Get out of my head, parasite!" Edwin then grabbed the gun as he and Rick struggled to take it from the other one. "No! Drop it. Give me the gun, Edwin. Give it back!" Rick was unsuccessful as Edwin suddenly punched Rick and took the gun from him. As everyone cheered for Edwin, Robot Man and Sunshine Dude grabbed Rick and brought him to the chair, holding him in place. Rick breathed heavily. "Is anyone here even real? Am I the only real person on earth?!"

"Maybe." Reverse Giraffe spoke as he stepped forward, getting everyone's attention. "Or maybe, just maybe, we're all real. You know me. I'm Reverse Giraffe. I have a short neck and legs. I went to college with Hamurai."

"Hai." Hamurai nodded.

"I saved Ghost In A Jar's life in Vietnam."

"Boo rah!" Ghost In A Jar cheered.

"And Leni, how many times have I been a shoulder for you to cry on?"

Leni sighed. "Too many."

"Okay, so maybe we're just all fake." Everyone started jeering. "Or maybe, there's only one deceiver here." Reverse Giraffe crossed his arms and glared at Rick. "The person that keeps telling us the path to salvation is being held prisoner and mistrusting each other."

Rick glared back. "Hey, don't blame me! I tried to shoot Lori ten minutes ago!"

Reverse Giraffe continued. "I know we all have beloved memories of Rick, but are we really supposed to believe that a mad scientist inventor with a flying car just showed up on our doorstep after being gone for years?"

Lori gave Rick a suspicious look. "Yeah, that is pretty weird. And don't forget his incredibly vague back story."

"Lori, I'm your grandfather!" Rick snapped.

"Oh really? Is that why you tried to shoot me earlier? Well if you want to prove you're real, do what any of the rest of us would do, open the blast shields and let us out of here!"

Rick glared at her. "Why don't you make me you average, phone addicted, whiny teenager."

Lori squinted her eyes at Rick. "Give me the gun." Edwin handed Lori the gun, who pointed it at Rick. "I'm not doing this in front of my younger siblings. Bring him to the garage." Everyone cheered as Muscle Duck and Baby Wizard grabbed Rick and dragged him to the garage with Lori following after them.

...

As this happened, Lincoln had ran upstairs, not taking notice of Luan and Sleepy Ginny as he went into Lana and Lola's room to find Lola crying on her bed. She had yet to clean herself up. "Lola, what's wrong?"

"I'm sorry." Lola sobbed. "I said I wouldn't get mad any more. But I couldn't help myself! I did it again. Over nothing!"

Lincoln sat down beside her. "Lola, it's okay, everyone gets mad every once in a while."

Lola sniffled. "Lincoln...do you think I'm a meanie?"

Lincoln sighed. "Lola, I think you're six. So what if you throw a tantrum every now and then? A lot of six year olds do."

Lola looked downwards. "Lana doesn't though. She's way nicer than me, isn't she?"

"Lana has her own problems. I'll tell you one thing, you're way cleaner than she is."

"Hm." Lola gave a small smile before looking down again. "Well, she's still more talented than me. I'm just a useless meanie."

"Useless? Where'd you get that idea?"

"Because pageants were all I knew how how to do. Now that I can't do them, I'm just useless."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "But don't you need to be talented to do a pageant? I mean, whenever you did any kind of dancing for the talent portion, you always rocked it."

"Dancing, huh?" Lola said as she thought about it. She did always enjoy dancing in her pageants. Maybe she should focus more on that now.

Lincoln sighed. "Besides, you're more talented than me anyway. All I do is read comics and play videogames."

Lola hummed in thought. "Well, why not just do something based on those then?"

Lincoln thought for a moment. He did always do well in art class. Maybe he should start drawing or something. "Not a bad idea, Lola. Also, like I said, you're really not as bad as you think you are. I don't think of you any differently from the rest of my sisters. None of us are perfect, but I love you all the same."

Lola smiled as she started to cheer up. "Thanks, but...that doesn't mean I shouldn't try to be better, right?"

Lincoln chuckled. "Everyone should try to improve, really. I mean, I probably shouldn't have tried to poke fun at you down there. Sorry, I was being a jerk, wasn't I?"

Lola giggled. "Yeah, you were kind of a jerk." The two then went to hug each other.

...

Muscle Duck and Baby Wizard held onto Rick, making him kneel onto the floor as Lori aimed the gun at him. "Listen to me, Rick, if you want to prove to everyone that you're real, then just open the blast shield doors and let us out."

Rick glared at her. "Shut up, Lori, you brainwashed bitch that might not even be real because I'm brainwashed, too."

Lori growled in anger. "Why do you always have to make things difficult for us?!"

"Oh, oh, really Lori? I make thing difficult for you huh? Then by all means, why don't you just do both of us a favour and pull the trigger?" Rick put his head up to the gun as Lori started sweating nervously. "Just do it! I know you want to! You've had it out for me since day one. You've just been waiting for an opportunity like this, haven't you? I've got about a thousand memories of your dumb ass and about six of them are pleasant. The rest is you either bitching at me or bitching about me. So do it! Do it, motherfucker! Pull the fucking trigger!"

Lori then came to a sudden realisation as she moved the gun away from Rick and shot at Baby Wizard who screeched as he revealed his true, parasitic form. Rick stood up away from the parasite while Muscle Duck looked more nervous then concerned or surprised. "Oh, wow. Baby Wizard was a parasite? He set me up with my wife."

Lori shot at Muscle Duck who did the same as Baby Wizard. Rick looked at Lori in confusion. "What the hell?"

"I figured it out, Rick!" Lori explained. "The parasites can only create happy memories. I know you're real because I literally have a ton of bad memories with you!"

Rick grinned. "Holy crap, Lori, you're right."

"That was what you were trying to make me understand by yelling at me right?"

"...Well, yeah, duh-doy. T-Took you long enough." Rick turned a dial on his washing machine. The wall behind it drew back, revealing a set of guns. Lori blinked in surprise as Rick put an arm around her. "Now, let's go, Lori. We got a lot of friends and family to exterminate."

...

Lori and Rick burst into the living room, both carrying a load of guns on them, shooting at one of the parasites which caused everyone to panic. Rick then shot upwards to get everyone's attention. "Everybody, remain calm! This is gonna take a bit of explaining." Lori said.

Rick pointed his gun towards the people in the room. "We need to kill everyone that we can only remember fondly. Who's got a bad memory about Mrs. Refrigerator?"

Mrs. Refrigerator looked nervous. "I-I-I-I-everyone has bad memories of me. You remember that one time?"

...

Everyone screamed in joy as they rode a roller coaster with Mrs. Refrigerator.

...

"Ooh, man, we couldn't stop screaming." Mrs. Refrigerator laughed nervously.

Lynn gave her a pointed look. "Uh, roller coasters aren't bad, Mrs. Refrigerator. They're fun. In fact, I don't remember you doing anything bad."

Mrs. Refrigerator started to panic. "The jig is up! Get me out of here. Get me out of here! Aah!" Mrs. Refrigerator attempted to escape through the window but to no avail as Rick shot her.

"Everybody back! If you're not a parasite, you have nothing to fear." Rick explained.

"Poo poo?" Rick turned around and immediately aimed his gun at Lily. Thinking about it, Lily wasn't that much different than the average baby. Her crying was just as annoying though she stunk way worse than most babies whenever she did her business. Rick picked her up. "Don't worry Lily, I got you."

Meanwhile, Lori pointed her gun at Leni, who had a frightened expression on her face. "L-Lori?" As sweet as Leni was, Lori remembered the arguments she got with her over her wearing her dresses. Plus she remembered some of Leni's more thoughtless moments.

Lori lowered her gun and smiled. "It's okay, Leni."

Rick then came over and handed Lily to Leni. "Here, take Lily and go hide in the garage. I don't think either of you want to see this." Leni nodded and quickly headed to the garage as Lori then took aim at Lucy who looked nervous. All the times Lucy jump scared her were a good indication that she was real as she handed Lucy a gun.

"Thanks." Lucy said before turning around and aiming her gun at Edwin, realising she never had any bad memories of him. "Sigh. I knew it was too good to be true." She said before shooting him.

Everyone started panicking again as Rick, Lori and Lucy shot at the parasites. As Lori aimed her gun at a frightened Lynn, she quickly remembered how her over competitiveness and need to turn everything into a sport could drive her up the wall. "Here you go, Lynn."

Lynn grinned. "Sweet!" She started shooting at the parasites. "Two points! Two points!"

Rick passed by Lisa, quickly giving her a gun, seemingly not putting much thought into it. Lisa shrugged and joined in at shooting at the parasites as Rick cornered Pencilvester. "Come on, man. Haven't we ever had an uncomfortable silence or an awkward fart on a road trip? Come on, Pencilvester. Give me anything."

Pencilvester had a pleading look on his face. "Rick, I'm Pencilvester. Listen to that name. You can't kill me."

"You're right." Rick turned away with tears in his eyes. "Kill Pencilvester."

Lynn gleefully shot at Pencilvester. "Two points!"

After watching Lori kill the mud monster, Lana looked at her older sister nervously. Remembering the times Lana made a mess of the house, or even worse, her room, Lori realised she was definitely real as she handed Lana a gun. "Here. Just this once, you're allowed to make a mess." Lana smiled as she joined in on the shooting.

Cousin Nicky crawled across the floor, trying to avoid getting shot before coming across Rick's feet. "R-Rick?" He looked up to see Rick glaring at him. "Hey come on...I'm walking here."

"No you ain't." Rick said before shooting him.

Luna smiled nervously as Lori aimed her gun at her. "C-Come on Lori, you know I'm real right?"

Lori thought back to the times Luna's excessively loud music had made her mess up her makeup or disturb her phone calls before handing Luna a gun. "Yeah, I know."

Luna breathed a sigh of relief. She then frowned as she realised something. "Dude, what about the guys upstairs?"

Lori frowned as she remembered that Lincoln, Lola, Luan and Sleepy Ginny were upstairs. "God, I hope they're real."

She and Luna then headed upstairs. Luna then froze as she noticed Luan. Her eyes widened in shock as she saw Luan and Sleepy Ginny passionately making out. Luan opened her eyes and quickly pushed Sleepy Ginny off of her as she saw Luna aim a gun at her. "Luna!"

Luna thought about Luan first. Well, if April Fools day was any indication, Luan was definitely real. Relieved with that knowledge, she then thought about Sleepy Ginny. Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Now matter how hard she tried, how desperately she wanted to find just any kind of bad memory with Sleepy Ginny, absolutely nothing came to mind. Luna sighed. "Sorry to do this to you, Luan." She shot at Sleepy Ginny.

Luan's mouth gaped in shock as she watched Sleepy Ginny reveal her parasitic nature before dying. Luna tentatively approached her. "Luan? Are you okay?"

Luan sobbed. "No!"

Luna went over to give Luan a hug, allowing her sister to cry into her shoulder. "Don't worry Luan. Everything's gonna be alright."

Meanwhile, Lori had bursted into Lana and Lola's room only to be met with the most adorable sight. Lola had gotten herself cleaned up and was now sat on the floor smiling as Lincoln combed her hair. "Awww."

Lincoln and Lola then jumped as they saw Lori had a gun pointed at them. "Lori! W-What are you doing?" Lincoln asked nervously.

Remembering what she was doing, she first thought about Lola. Her bratty moments and her temper tantrums easily gave away that she was real. She then thought about Lincoln, remembering his tendency to read comics in his underwear as well as some of his more poorly thought out plans that led to disaster. She lowered her gun and smiled. "It's okay, guys. I figured out how to tell who's real or not."

"Really? How?" Lincoln asked.

"And that's all of them!" Lori heard Rick call out from downstairs.

Lori shrugged. "Eh, doesn't really matter now."

...

After Rick had let down the blast shields, everyone, besides Lola who was upstairs doing something, had gathered into the dining room as Rick had made dinner for everyone. "From now on, let's all be careful to wash our hands when we get back from outer space. That goes for everyone."

Lori looked around as most of the house was covered with dead parasites and parasite blood. "So, how are you gonna explain this mess to Mom and Dad?"

Rick shrugged. "Meh. I'm sure they'll conveniently be out long enough for us to clean this up."

Luna gave Luan a look of concern. "You doing okay there, sis?"

Luan looked up from her food. "Hm? Yeah, I'm okay. Don't worry, I'm over it now." This was true as like with Uncle Steve and everyone else, Luan's memories of Sleepy Ginny started to feel less like memories and more like she had only imagined them. Though, she couldn't help but feel disgusted that her first kiss had been taken by an alien parasite. On the other hand...

Everyone then blinked in surprise as Lola came down and sat at the table next to Lincoln. For some reason, Lola had changed out of her usual gown and was now wearing a pink shirt under an unzipped, pink zip-up hoodie along with a pink skirt. Though she still wore her tiara. "Lola, what were you doing up there?" Lori asked.

Lola smiled. "Oh, not much. I just finished ordering a new pair of underwear for Lincoln."

Lincoln looked at her in surprise. "Really? But I lost the bet."

Lola waved her hand dismissively. "Eh, you probably would've won if you hadn't quit. Also forget about the reading comics in your underwear thing. I don't really care that much."

Lynn looked miffed at that. "Hey, come on, he still lost fair and square."

Lola gave everyone a pleading look. "Come on, you guys, we clearly can't give up our things. Why should Lincoln have to give up his? We should all accept each other's habits...even if some of them are really, really gross."

Everyone conceded in agreement though Lynn still looked slightly miffed. Lola was then caught off guard as Lincoln went to give her a hug. "Thank you!"

At that moment, Mr. Poopybutthole had come back down and sat at the table after going to the bathroom. "Ooh, whee! This little poopypants is hungry. Will somebody pass me a pork chop?"

As Rick passed a pork chop to Mr. Poopybutthole, Lori raised an eyebrow at the small alien. Now that she thought about it, she couldn't exactly recall any bad memories involving him either.

"H-Hey Luna, can ask you something?" Luan nervously asked.

"Sure. What's up sis?"

Luan looked sheepish, seeming a little embarrassed to ask this. "How did...how did you realise you were bi?"

Both of them, along with everyone else, were then distracted by the sound of Rick's laser gun going off. They looked in shock to see Lori had shot Mr. Poopybutthole. He screamed as he was sent flying towards the wall, leaving a bloody mess on it. Everyone stood up, frightened for Mr. Poopybutthole's well being. "What the hell did you just do, Lori?!" Rick shouted at her.

Lori stared at Mr. Poopybutthole in shocked confusion. "Wait, but I-"

Luna quickly got out her phone. "Hello, we need an ambulance quick! A friend of ours accidentally got shot!"

"Why?" Mr. Poopybutthole groaned from the floor.

A teary eyed Leni approached him, panicking. "Oh no, oh no, oh no, Mr. Poopybutthole!"

"I-I-I thought-" Lori stuttered as the reality of what she had done started to sink in.

Lisa approached Mr. Poopybutthole with a serious look on her face. "Listen to me, just keep breathing."

"Oh, God. What's happening?" Mr. Poopybutthole groaned.

"Look at me!" Lisa ordered. "Whatever you do, do not fall asleep."

Mr. Poopybutthole looked at Lisa. "Is-is this what bleeding to death is? Oh, whee. Is this how I die?"

"Oh, geez! Oh my God!" Rick cried out.

Not knowing what to do and filled with too much guilt and shame, Lori ran out the dining room, upstairs and into the bathroom, unable to do much besides cry.


	17. Getting Schwifty With House Music

It was a relatively normal day on Earth. That was until a yellow, planet-sized head came flying through space towards the Earth. Upon getting close enough that the people of Earth could see it in the sky, the head's gravitational mass started to cause forest fires, earthquakes and storms. As people in the cities closest to the head started panicking, one news anchorman in one of the cities tried to report on what was happening despite the storm and the screaming and panicking. "The view here is the same as yours, Jim. A giant head has entered Earth's gravity, triggering climate change and natural disasters we thought were impossible for at least another eight years."

"Let's not make this political, Terry." Jim replied from the news station. "Do we know what this giant head wants?"

The giant head cleared its throat before speaking, the force of its voice creating a large wind blast and causing the tides to change rapidly. "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT."

Despite the increasing panic, Terry continued. "Jim, you heard-" the broadcast was interrupted by static "-said, 'Show me what you got.'"

"SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT. I WANT TO SEE WHAT YOU GOT."

...

The Loud family, apart from Lori, stared at the TV screen utterly shocked as they were completely speechless. Apart from Rick who simply said. "Oh boy."

"Grandpa Rick, do you know what that thing is?" Lincoln asked, trying not to panic.

Rick stood up from sitting on the couch. "Ok, long story short, that's a cromulon. It's not gonna go away unless the Earth can give them a hit new song."

"A song? Seriously?" Lincoln asked.

"Well that shouldn't be too hard right?" Luna asked. "We've got loads of musicians on Earth."

"Breaking News!" Everyone's attention went back to the TV. "It is a sad day for the music industry as an earthquake has hit the Grammys. As of now, every musician that attended the Grammys have been reported deceased."

A horrified look appeared on Luna's now pale face as she stared at the screen. "Y-You're kidding right? Please tell me this isn't happening!" Luna tried not to cry as she knew her idol, Mick Swagger had attended the Grammys.

On screen, Jim looked to the side as if someone was speaking to him before addressing the viewers. "We've just been informed that there are least two musicians that survived the earthquake. Those being hip hop artist, Ice-T and rock and roll legend, Mick Swagger."

"Oh, thank God." Luna sighed in relief.

"Looks like we're gonna have to get involved." Rick stated. "Come on Lincoln."

As Lincoln stood up, so did Luna. "W-Wait, you're going off to save the world with music and you're not inviting me?"

Rick shrugged. "I mean, Lincoln's all I really need but, well, I guess you can come as well. I could probably find some way to fit you in."

Luna grinned. "Sweet!" She then ran upstairs to grab her guitar.

After Luna came back down, Lynn Sr. then stood up. "Ooh, can I join in? I used to be in a band myself. Although, it ended on a...on a sour note." Lynn Sr. frowned as he looked back on the memory from his college days of being kicked out of a band for playing his instrument of choice a little too enthusiastically.

"I-I dunno Lynn. What is that you do exactly?" Rick asked.

Lynn Sr. grinned. "I'm glad you asked. KA-POW!" Lynn Sr. ripped off his sweater, revealing his old band uniform and got out a cowbell. He started getting jiggy with it as he played the cowbell to his heart's content. "WOO! HA HA!"

Rick held his chin in thought while Luna looked unsure, feeling that a cowbell was not the kind of instrument you save the world with. "Um, Dad...I don't know if-"

"Alright, yeah. I can work with this!" Rick interrupted Luna, grinning. "Alright Lynn, you're in."

Lynn Sr. pumped his fist. "Yes!"

"Alright, time to go."

"Where are we going?" Lincoln asked.

"The Pentagon." Rick answered. "I mean, not THE Pentagon. The lame one, here on Earth."

As Rick, Lincoln, Luna and Lynn Sr. went to go into the garage, Leni then looked around in confusion. "Wait, where's Lori."

"Don't you remember? She's been staying with Mr. Poopybutthole to try and help him get better." Luan reminded her.

"Oh. Yeah..."

...

Lori had never felt as low as she did after she shot Mr. Poopybutthole. Not even Lincoln calling her the worst sister or realising how awful it was to sabotage Leni's driving test made her feel as low as she did now. She should have known better. She probably hadn't known Mr. Poopybutthole long enough to have any bad memories of him. Rick had known him longer than her so of course he would've had one. While Mr. Poopybutthole didn't press any charges or even have any kind of grudge against her at all, forgiving her instantly, she still felt the need to try and make it up to him anyway she could. Which was why she insisted on staying with him at his house, doing anything she could to help out Mr. Poopybutthole whether it be helping him walk, doing chores around the house or bringing his food to him. Which was what she was doing now as she brought a tray of breakfast that she had made for him into his bedroom. "Good morning, PB."

Mr. Poopybutthole sat up from lying down in bed as Lori brought his breakfast over to him. "Morning Lori! Ooh wee, that sure looks tasty!"

As Mr. Poopybutthole started eating, Lori sat next to him at the side of his bed. "PB, I know I've said this literally a million times but I'm really sorry about that incident."

Mr. Poopybutthole sighed after taking a sip of his juice. "Look, I keep telling ya, it's okay. You really don't have to do all this. I mean, maybe it was my fault and I should be saying sorry you don't have any bad memories of me."

This didn't make Lori feel any better. "No, that's not right." She sniffled as she folded her arms, her insecurities starting to get the better of her. "I'm sorry, it's just...maybe if I wasn't such a dumb bitch, this wouldn't have happened!"

Mr. Poopybutthole gave her a concerned look. "D-Don't say that! You seem like a nice girl to me."

"You don't know me that well though." Lori thought to herself. She sighed as she calmed herself down. "Look, is there really nothing I can do to make it up to you?"

Mr. Poopybutthole thought to himself for a moment. "Well...maybe there is something you could help me with."

"What is it?"

"Well...when I was bleedin' to death in your dining room, I was like oh gawsh, ooh wee, my lil' life flashed before my eyes! And I've got some unfinished business to attend to." Mr. Poopybutthole closed his eyes and lowered his head. "But ah can't do it on my own..." Mr. Poopybutthole looked into Lori's eyes, placing his hand on hers. "I need your help, Lori."

Lori gave him a determined look. "Whatever it is, I'll do it."

"Thanks, Lori." Mr. Poopybutthole then pushed the tray away and got out of bed, dropping to the floor. "Ooh." Mr. Poopybutthole grunted in pain, still not quite recovered from the shot he took.

Lori looked worried. "PB, do you need me to-"

Mr. Poopybutthole put a hand up to stop her as he went to pick up his cane. "Ok, first things first, I need a disguise. A reeaaaall good disguise. This is real importaaaant! Boy howdy I can't even stress the importance! This lil' Poopybutthole needs to become a lil' poopy mystery."

After thinking for a moment, Lori then took Mr. Poopybutthole's hat and replaced it with a lil' bowler hat. She then got out a pen and drew a fake moustache on Mr. Poopybutthole. Finally, she got out a small mirror so Mr. Poopybutthole could see himself. "Done!"

"Ooh wee! Nailed it!" Mr. Poopybutthole squealed. He then held up two fingers. "Secondly, we need to get on over to Rick's lab so we can borrow one of his portal guns."

"Wait, so are you saying we're gonna be going on some kind of adventure?"

"Mmm, I guess that's one way of looking at it."

Lori frowned. She really did not like going on adventures. Though this time, she'd at least be going on one without Rick. Plus she did just say she'd do anything for Mr. Poopybutthole. "Ok, let's go."

The two then made their way downstairs. Lori opened the door. Both of them were taken aback by the stormy weather coming from the black and orange clouds. "Ooh wee, weather sure is strange today." Mr. Poopybutthole remarked.

Lori rolled her eyes. "Whatever's happening, I'm sure Rick's handling it."

...

The President of the United States of America, an African American man in a dark blue suit, was currently having a meeting in the Pentagon war room to discuss what to do about the giant head. Unfortunately, the meeting soon devolved into everyone arguing with each other, causing the President to stand up and put up his hands to get everyone to stop. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, one at a time! Simon?"

Simon stood up. "SETI, NORAD, and every broadcaster on the planet are attempting to show this being what humanity's got. String theory, world history, the human genome."

The general of the United States army slammed his fist on the table. "Have you tried sending it launch codes? Mr. President, what America's got is 70,000 megatons of KABOOM-BOOM! And I say we show it right up this floating head's ass!"

After another bout of arguing, everyone was then on alert as a portal suddenly appeared with Rick, Lincoln, Luna and Lynn Sr. stepping out of it. The guards then ran up to them, pointing guns at them. "Hold it! Don't move!" One guard warned them.

"Gah!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed fearfully as he immediately put his hands up to surrender.

Rick aimed his watch at the guards. "Stay back! This watch can instantly disintegrate you."

"Stand down. Everybody stand down!" The President shouted, making the guards lower their guns. "I'm the leader of these people and I'm unarmed. There's no need for any hostilities."

"My name is Rick Sanchez." Rick said, introducing himself. He then gestured to each of his family members as he introduced them. "This here's my grandson, Lincoln Loud, my granddaughter, Luna Loud and my son, Lynn Loud." Lincon gave a small wave while both Luna and Lynn Sr. grinned nervously.

"Loud? Loud..." The President held his chin in thought. "Now where have I heard that name before."

Before he could think about it any further, his thought process was interrupted by Rick speaking. "I've seen enough of the galaxy to know that what we've got here is a cromulon from the Cygnus-5 Expanse. So you can forget about nukes, and you can forget about math." Rick pointed towards a large screen displaying the head over a mountain that was on fire. "This head won't go away until Earth shows them it's got a hit song."

Everyone started muttering to themselves. "You mean like Vivaldi?" Simon asked.

"No, Frasier. A live performance of a newly-written, catchy, original song." Rick explained. "The cromulon feed on the talent and showmanship of less-evolved lifeforms."

The President nodded. "All right, all right. Thank you, Mr. Sanchez. Change of plan, people. Get me Mick Swagger and Ice-T."

"You're gonna wanna put them on that giant speaker system at your sonic testing facility at Area 51." Rick advised.

"How do you know about that?" The general asked.

"For God's sake, Nathan, the man came in here through a portal." The President snapped. "He can use Google Maps."

"Sir! Ice-T and Mick Swagger are inbound on an F-15, ETA two hours." The President's aide informed him.

Luna's eyes widened. "M-Mick Swagger's coming here?"

"Don't forget Ice-T." Lincoln reminded her.

Luna looked embarrased. "I-I know. Ice-T is cool and all but...he's not Mick Swagger."

Simon was looking at his computer nervously. "Sir, the magnetic poles are about to reverse. In two hours, there may not be an Earth to save."

The President turned to Rick. "Sanchez! Are you and your family musicians?"

"I dabble, Mr. President." Rick answered. "My granddaughter's a good musician though." Luna couldn't help but smile proudly at that.

"Ooh, I'm a musician!" Lynn Sr. added exitedly. "I was even in a band! Check this out!" Once again, Lynn Sr. started getting jiggy with it as he played his cowbell. "Ooh ooh yeah!"

After a while of everyone staring at him, the President asked. "Is he ever going to stop that?"

Rick shrugged. "Probably not."

The President shook his head. "Alright, get this man and his family on a Blackhawk to Area 51."

...

After entering Rick's garage, Mr. Poopybutthole asked Lori. "Could you help me get Rick's portal gun from all the way up there." He pointed towards a box with a spare portal gun in it at the top of a shelf. "My poopy lil' arms can't reach it, oooooh wee!"

After handing him the portal gun, Lori asked. "So what are we doing exactly?"

Mr. Poopybutthole fiddled with the portal gun for a moment before shooting a portal. "There are things I'm not proud of that I need to fix. I'm a changed butthole! That's why I need to go back home."

Mr. Poopybutthole then went through the portal with Lori following after him. Upon exiting the portal, Lori found herself in an alleyway. She looked around in confusion. "Is this where you live, Mr. Poopybutthole?"

Mr. Poopybutthole put a finger to his lips. "Shh! Lori! You can't use my name here!"

"Mmmhmhmhmhmhmm, did someone say Mr. Poopybutthole?" Said a man that emerged from a nearby trash can. He appeared to be the same species as Mr. Poopybutthole though he had a unibrow and his head was much more rounder and bigger than Mr. Poopybutthole's.

Mr. Poopybutthole looked nervous. "Oooh wee, no sir, my friend is confused. I'm Mr. Poopybumhole! It's a, uh, British name."

The man glared intensely at Mr. Poopybutthole for a moment before suddenly smiling. "Well of course you're not Mr. Poopybutthole. I'm so sorry for the misunderstanding."

Mr. Poopybutthole breathed a sigh of relief. "Ooooh wee, that's okay."

The man suddenly started to get teary eyed. "I just heard what I wanted to hear, y'know? Since Mr. Poopybutthole's disappearance..." The man sobbed. "I just hope he's okay!"

Lori raised an eyebrow. "Disappearance?" She then noticed missing posters were plastered all over the walls in the alley way. All of them had Mr. Poopybutthole's face on them. "Ok, what's going on here?"

Lori then decided to look outside the alley way, causing Mr. Poopybutthole to panic. "Oooooh no, Lori wait!"

Lori then gasped at what she saw. Mr. Poopybutthole's home didn't look much different from Earth. Its people looked similar to Mr. Poopybutthole though their heads varied in shape and size. None of them seemed to be quite as tall or thin as Mr. Poopybutthole's or his fiancé's heads. What really got Lori's attention though was the golden statue of Mr. Poopybutthole in the middle of the street. Alongside that, she could see a blimp with a picture of Mr. Poopybutthole on it, titled 'Missing' and a cinema that was advertising a Mr. Poopybutthole all day marathon.

"I can explain everything!" A worried Mr. Poopybutthole told her.

...

Rick and the others were sat in a helicopter flying through the Nevada desert. While Luna seemed to prepared to perform, Lynn Sr. and Lincoln were starting to look nervous. "I-I don't know about this Dad. I think I might be having second thoughts." Lynn Sr. admitted.

"I'm not a musician. What am I supposed to do?" Lincoln asked.

"Lincoln. Lynn. Just chill. There's only two things you two should know going into this." Rick stated. "Don't worry about being good and just remember to have fun."

Both of them gulped but tried to put on a brave face. The helicopter then stopped as a man opened the door. Outside was a rope hanging from the helicopter. "We're in the drop zone! I'm the jump master! My name's Jamey! With an E-Y! Go, go, go!"

The four slid down the rope onto a stage with a microphone, a couple keyboards and a tambourine. Along with those were the giant speakers which would be used so the cromulon would be able to hear them. "Alright, here's what we're gonna do." Rick started. "Lynn, you do your thing. Luna, you do yours. Lincoln, find a button on one of those keyboards and lay down some kind of beat. After that, the tambourine's yours."

Lincoln went over to the keyboard. "Okay, uh..." he pressed a button which started to play a beat. Rick started dancing before he started to sing while Lincoln, Luna and Lynn Sr. tried to play along.

Ahhhhh yeahhhhh

Ya gotta get schwifty

Ya gotta get schwifty in here

It's time to get schwifty

Inside Area 51, the President and General Nathan were watching the performance from a computer screen. General Nathan looked utterly baffled. "Get...schwifty? What the hell is that?"

"It's our world's best effort, that's what." The President stated confidently.

Take off your pants and your panties

Shit on the floor

General Nathan wasn't the only one unsure with Rick's performance. While Lincoln and Lynn Sr. seemed be enjoying themselves, Luna couldn't help but think what kind of song was she even playing right now. This was the kind of song they were using to save the world? Was this the kind of first impression she was going to give Mick Swagger? Despite how she felt, she stayed professional, still playing her guitar and going along with whatever Rick was trying to do.

Time to get schwifty in here

I'm Mr. Bulldops

General Nathan raised an eyebrow at the president. "Mr. Bulldops?"

"Don't analyze it, Nathan." The President snapped. "It's working!"

Take a shit on the floor

Time to get schwifty in here

Hey, take your pants off

It's schwifty time today

After the performance finished, the cromulon's lip twitched as he stared at them. "Hmmmm." Everyone waited in anticipation before the cromulon grinned. "I LIKE WHAT YOU GOT. GOOD JOB."

The cromulon then turned around and flew away from the Earth causing everyone in the band and at Area 51 to cheer. "That was amazing!" Lincoln exclaimed. He was extremely happy that he had helped save the world by doing something fun for once.

"Heh...yeah." A still unsure Luna said.

"Ha ha! If only the boys at college could see me now!" Lynn Sr. laughed.

Unfortunately, the celebration was cut short as everyone stumbled from the earthquake that suddenly occurred. The Earth was surrounded by an energy field before it suddenly disappeared. It then reappeared in another galaxy with four other planets, a disco ball-like sun, and several different-coloured Cromulons, all staring at the Earth. The President looked around in confusion. "What the hell happened?"

The President's aide approached him. "Mr. President, you're gonna wanna see this."

Rick and his family had entered Area 51 as Rick approached the president. "I think planet Earth has just been transported."

"Sir, we've started picking up on a garbled signal. We're decrypting it now." Simon stated. The image on the giant screen gradually descrambled before displaying images of five bands. One of which was Rick's while the others were all aliens. Dance music was playing in the background as a Cromulon narrated. "WE ASKED THEM TO SHOW US WHAT THEY GOT. AND THEY DID. NOW WE'LL SEE WHICH OF THEM HAS GOT THE MOST. 24 HOURS, FIVE PLANETS, FIVE SONGS. BUT IN THE END, THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE. PLANET MUSIC! All participation is involuntary. Disqualified and losing planets are disintegrated by plasma ray."

The Louds stared at the screen in shock, horrified by the posibility of their planet blowing up along with the fact that four planets were going to end up blown up either way. "Uhh, it's probably a bad time to mention it, but any astronauts you guys had in orbit are definitely dead." Rick then added.

"Sir, Mick Swagger and Ice-T have just arrived." The President's aide informed him as the two entered the room.

"Hey up, mates!" Mick Swagger was a tall man with light fair skin. He had long brown hair that covered his eyes. He wore a yellow t-shirt that had a red circle print on it and a purple blazer along with white pants.

"Wassup." Ice-T was an African American man who had a beard and had his black hair in a ponytail. He wore a black shirt and a necklace with a small, plastic gun on it.

Both Luna and Lynn Sr. stared at Mick Swagger in awe before they both started stammering. "Muh-muh-muh-muh-muh-muh..."

Mick Swagger chuckled. "So, I've heard you lot already performed. Shame we couldn't make it in time to see it."

Luna laughed nervously. "Heh yeah...real shame."

The conversation was interrupted by another broadcast from the cromulons. Dance music started playing as the Planet Music opening showed. "Welcome back to Planet Music! First up, let's hear the latest song from planet Parblesnope. The Greebybobes!" On screen was a swamp-like planet with a band of frog-like aliens. "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT."

The band prepared to perform before its lead singer interrupted them. "Hold it, hold it, stop! Music isn't about competition or captivity! If you love music, you love freedom. Let these worlds be free, please!"

The cromulon frowned. "DISQUALIFIED!" The cromulons' plasma ray powered up before firing at the planet, blowing it up. "There's one every season." It then cut to a more technologically advanced planet with a band of fleshy, one-eyed, tentacled aliens. "Moving on to planet Arbolez Meterosos. Arbolian Meterososians. SHOW US WHAT YOU GOT."

"Ah two, three, four..." The band started playing though they were visibly nervous.

Meanwhile, Rick, Lincoln, Luna, Lynn Sr., Mick Swagger and Ice-T were all in a studio, preparing for their next song. While, Rick, Lincoln and Lynn Sr. were experimenting with the instruments, Luna kept pacing back and forth, worry evident on her face. The President's aide then came in. "Everyone! The timetable's moved up. Earth's on in six hours."

"Don't you think we're under enough bloody pressure?!" Luna snapped before picking up a bowl of peanuts and tossing it at the aide, causing him to retreat.

"Whoa ho ho ho ho!" Rick and Ice-T chuckled.

"Luna!" Lynn Sr. chastised.

"Geez, Luna. The guy's just doing his job. Take it easy." Rick said though he was clearly more amused then anything.

Lincoln put a hand on her shoulder. "Luna, are you okay?"

Luna took in a deep breath to calm herself down. "Sorry, dudes. It's just that...well..." Luna turned to Rick. "Grandpa Rick, what we played earlier...is that really the kind of song we're gonna use to save the world again?"

"Yeah. Why? What's wrong with it?" Rick asked.

Luna rubbed her arm awkwardly. "It's just...it's not really my style, you know."

"What, have you got something against this style? I didn't really take you as a music snob Luna. I thought you'd have a bit more respect for genres outside of rock."

Luna waved her hands. "No! No way dude. I totally respect other genres. I've even dabbled with a few different genres myself. It's just that...I don't even know if that song even was a genre."

Rick pinched the bridge of his nose. "Jesus Luna, look, I know about the cromulons. I know what kind of music they like which is exactly the kind of music we're playing. We will win this." Rick then leaned down to whisper to her so that no one else could hear him. "Remember, we're here to impress the cromulons, not Mick Swagger."

Luna sighed as Rick went back to preparing. Lincoln came up to comfort her. "Don't worry, Luna. It's like Rick said. Don't worry about being good. Just try to have fun."

"Yeah..." Luna said. Though with the threat of the planet being blown up along with Mick Swagger being here, she couldn't truly mean it.

Meanwhile, General Nathan, the President and his aide were watching the group through a window. General Nathan waved his hand dismissively. "I've seen enough. These guys are one-hit wonders. I mean for God's sakes, one of them plays a cowbell!"

The President folded his arms. "And what's your plan, General?"

General Nathan leaned towards the President, grinning. "We still have the nuclear option. On my word, we can launch a nuclear missile at every one of those heads in the sky."

"Our planet's held captive on a live game show and your solution is to shoot the audience? You can put your faith in nukes if we get through this, General. Until then, I'll put mine in Rick and his family. 'Get Schwifty' was a jam."

...

"So, there's a golden statue of you." Lori stated.

Mr. Poopybutthole frowned. "Hoo boy. I wasn't into it but everyone insisted..."

Lori folded her arms. "Ok, could you please explain what's going on Mr. Poopybutthole?"

Upon saying his name, the two suddenly got some attention from a few people passing by. "Mhm?"

"What did-"

"What did she say?"

"Poopy?"

"Ooooh, Lori, you can't use my name here! C'mon!" Mr. Poopybutthole grabbed her arm as the two ran down the street, away from the crowd. Or at least try to run as Mr. Poopybutthole wasn't really able to go fast when he still needed his cane. Luckily, Lori realised that quickly and picked him up. "We'll lose these 'fellas round this corner." After hiding in another alley, the two watched as the crowd ran right past them. After Lori put him down, Mr. Poopybutthole then slumped against the wall. "Oooh wee, my doctor said I shouldn't be running on these lil' poopy legs. I'm tuckered ooooouut-"

"PB!" Lori snapped. "Could you please just tell me what all of this is." She gestured to the missing posters.

"This is what I was talking about earlier. This is what I need to fix." Mr. Poopybutthole admitted. "I'm sorry Lori, I shoulda explained sooner. This is my home planet. And this lil' poopy pants is kinda a huge poopy star here."

"Wow." Lori grinned. "I had no idea you were literally a celebrity!"

"A huge celebrity!" Mr. Poopybutthole corrected her. "Oooh my, I had to put all this charisma and flair to good use." He then looked distressed as he jumped onto Lori, grabbing the front of her shirt and alarming her. "But it's not what it's cracked up to be! The never-ending photo shoots, vanity covers, interviews, sequels and oooh boy, the unrelenting fans!" Mr. Poopybutthole dropped down and approached the window to a television store. The TVs on display all showed footage relating to Mr. Poopybutthole. "I couldn't handle it so me and my fiancé left. Ooh wee, I didn't even say goodbye. What am I, some kind of monster?" He turned to look at Lori who gave him a sympathetic frown. "When I got shot and I was bleeding to death on the floor, I thought...is this what the folks at home think when they wonder where I am? Bleedin' to death on some floor, or worse? I hated the fame but ooh weee, the guilt of leavin' is even woooooorse! I'm not coming back but they need to know I'm alive and well."

"Ok." Lori put a reassuring hand on Mr. Poopybutthole's shoulder. "Then let's go tell everyone that you're okay, PB."

Mr. Poopybutthole smiled exitedly. "You're gonna help this lil' poopy pants?"

"Of course! Like I said, I'll do literally anything if it means I can make things up to you." The two exchanged a high five before Lori continued. "So how are we going to do this? Do we just literally shout out that you're okay in the streets?"

"Ooh wee, no Lori! My fans are saavaaaage. They'd ravage us both! We need it to announce it somewhere safe."

"Like...?"

Mr. Poopybutthole pointed to the TVs. "Behind a screen on national TV." His expression then went serious. "You know, everyone gets so rowdy around lil' ol' me. I really meant it when I said I forgave you. I'd understand if you'd wanna head back."

Lori smiled confidently. "No way. And don't worry. I'm gonna protect you no matter what! I promise."

Mr. Poopybutthole grinned. "Ooh wee, alright, then lets go to the television station!"

As the two made their way to the television station, Lori decided to start up a conversation. "This planet is so much like Earth."

"Ooh yeah, it sure is. Made moving to Earth waaaay easier. Though Rick said our food is poisonous to humans so I wouldn't try it."

Lori gulped. "I'll keep that in mind." As soon as the two reached the television station titled 'NEEEEWS', Lori turned to Mr. Poopybutthole and grasped his hands. "So, you ready for this? Remember, I'm literally 100% behind you on whatever you do."

"Mmhhhm."

Lori nodded. "Alright, let's do this."

As soon as the two entered the building, Mr. Poopybutthole started to get nervous due to all the people that were inside. "Oh my." He got even more nervous once he got in line for reception. "Oooh wee!"

"Hey, you've got this PB!" Lori reassured him. "These people love you and I've got your back, ok?"

Mr. Poopybutthole smiled at her. "You're a reeaaaal friend, Lori." Lori gave a heartfelt smile in return.

"Ahem." Both of them turned to the receptionist. "How can I help you?"

"Ooo." Mr. Poopybutthole smiled confidently. "Can you put me on the air please? Right away, I need to make an annoouunnceeemment!"

"We don't just let anybody on set, sir."

"Oooh my, well it's a good thing I'm not just annybooody." Mr. Poopybutthole said as he wiped off the fake moustache and replaced his bowler hat with his regular hat. "Y'see, it's me! Mr. Poopybutthole." Lori started to get nervous as she noticed everyone there was staring at Mr. Poopybutthole in awe. "And ahh need to tell everybody that I'm alive. But I'm not stayin', ooh wee, no-how."

Suddenly, like a pack of wolves, everyone started to go rabid over Mr. Poopybutthole. "Waughh!"

"Mr. Poopybutthole, I love you!"

"Poopy lives!"

"Marry me PoopyB!"

"Sign my face!"

"I'm your biggest fan!"

"Mr. Poopybutthole!"

"Oh my!" Mr. Poopybutthole groaned as his rabid fans smothered him.

Lori pulled Mr. Poopybutthole away from the fans, shielding him from them. "All of you, back off!" All of them hissed at her. Lori glared at them in response before placing Mr. Poopybutthole on top of a lamp. "PB, stay up here for a moment." She then cracked her knuckles. "I'm about to make a few pretzels."

"Gooooooo Lori!" Mr. Poopybutthole cheered for her as she fought back against the rabid fans. Despite the numbers advantage, the fact that all of them were less than half her size made it rather easy to fight back against them.

After knocking enough of them out, Mr. Poopybutthole called out. "Lori, the path is clear!"

Lori went over to pick him up and carry him as they made their way to the studio. "You alright PB?"

"My buns sure are toasty from sitting on that lamp, ooooh boy."

After bursting into the studio, Lori asked. "You ready to report the news, PB?"

"Oooooh wee!"

On the news program that was currently being aired, the newswoman was currently talking about Mr. Poopybutthole. Next to her was an image of Mr. Poopybutthole giving a cute wink. "It has been a long and gruelling year, but there is still no sign of our national treasure, Mr. Poopybutt-"

"Oooooooh weeeeeee!" The newswoman was interrupted as Mr. Poopybutthole came on set. "Hi everybody, it's me, Mr. Poopybutthole!"

The newswoman gasped. "Oh my God!"

"I've not been missing, but hiding. I'm here today to apologise for my absence, oh yes I am. I didn't mean to hurt any of you."

The newswoman hugged him. "He's alive!"

Lori then came on set to push the woman away. "Back off!"

Mr. Poopybutthole continued. "But I'm not staying." He smiled at Lori. "I have a new life outside of the spotlight on a different planet. Thank you for understanding."

"This just in-" the disgruntled newswoman snapped. "Mr. Poopybutthole is alive and brainwashed by some blonde heathen!"

Lori glared at the newswoman. "Uh, excuse you!"

Mr. Poopybutthole started to get worried. "Oooooh no!"

Two security guards then grabbed Lori and carried her off set. "Wha-what's going on?" Lori struggled to get free. "Mr. Poopybutthole, they're too strong! Help!"

Mr. Poopybutthole jumped onto one of the security guards and tried to punch him, though it had little affect on him. "Let her go!"

Another security guard then came by, picking up Mr. Poopybutthole and carrying him off. "You're coming with me, sir."

"Oh my. Lori! LORI!"

As this was all happening, the newswoman addressed the viewers. "The heathen has been detained by state security and will be sent to space jail for poisoning our beloved Mr. Poopybutthole's mind. Mr. Poopybutthole will be reunited with his agent where she will clear his mind of all the venom and return him to the film set and back onto our screens where he belongs!"

Lori could only give Mr. Poopybutthole a distraught look as she was hauled off to space jail.

...

Lynn Sr. and Mick Swagger were currently listening to an anecdote from Ice-T. "A squeegee comes up from the garage, right? And he's got a lobster in one hand and movie tickets in the other. He's like, 'I'm ready!'" Lynn Sr. and Mick Swagger started laughing. "Who would take a lobster to see Iron Man 3?"

After he finished laughing, Mick Swagger turned to Lynn Sr.. "So what is it that you play then, mate?"

Lynn Sr. grinned. "The cowbell. It's pretty much my specialty." He then started to show them his skills with the cowbell. "Ooh ooh ah! Whoo!"

"Damn man. Never really been into cowbells and shit but I dig yo enthusiasm." Ice-T remarked.

Luna then noticed that her dad was playing his cowbell to Mick Swagger and started to get nervous. She tried to get his attention. "Dad." He didn't seem to hear her. "Dad!" He still hadn't heard her. "DAD!" Lynn Sr. turned around to see a frustrated look on his daughter's face. "That's it. YOU...ARE OUT OF THE BAND!"

Lynn Sr. gasped before he started to sob. Rick then stepped in between them. "Whoa! Hey, hey, who said you could make calls like that?"

"Rick! Our whole planet's at stake!" Luna snapped. "How do I know I can trust you with this kind of song."

"I told you, I know what I'm doing Luna! I'm 99% sure we're gonna win this thing. And even in the small chance that something goes wrong, I have a backup plan."

Luna's eyes widened as she knew exactly what that backup plan was. There was no way she was going to go through that again. Not to mention she remembered the last time Rick wasn't quite 100% of something and how that turned out. She scowled at Rick before grabbing the portal gun and fiddling with it. "Screw this!"

"No!" Rick shouted as he reached after her. However, he was too late as she fired a portal and quickly jumped through it. "Ah shit."

"Grandpa Rick, what do we do now?" A panicking Lincoln asked.

Rick sighed as he got out a spare portal gun from his coat pocket. "Don't worry Lincoln. I have a good idea where she might be." Recently, Rick had taught his grandchildren a bit more about his portal gun as they now knew how to reach safe spaces where they could charge the portal gun across the universe, just in case any of them ever found themselves in a situation where they needed to charge it but couldn't return home. One of those places was Birdperson's home. "I need to stay here. Lincoln, you go after Luna and try to bring her back."

"Hey, uh, d'ya mind if come with?" Mick Swagger asked. "I think I'd like to have a chat with this Luna."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Sure. You're probably the biggest reason she's acting like this anyway so why not."

...

Lori sighed as she sat in her jail cell, now dressed in prison uniform. Though the only difference between that and her regular clothes was that she now wore a black and white striped shirt. "Well, Lori, you did it again. You've made things worse and you've upset a whole lot of people. Business as usual. Great job, Lori." Lori shook her head. "Ugh. Keep it together, Lori. Stop thinking like that. So what if I'm literally in prison? I've been on enough of Rick's dumb adventures to find some way out of this." Lori then gasped as she remembered something. She reached into her pocket. "Rick's portal gun! I can't believe they were dumb enough to not confiscate this."

"Is everything all right in there ma'am?" The prison guard asked.

Lori hid the portal gun behind her back as the prison guard looked into the cell. "Wh-What? Y-yeah I'm fine." She smiled nervously.

The prison guard grinned sinisterly. "Well, let me tell you, missy, you won't be for long! For the crimes you've committed, you'll either rot in here forever or far, far worse!"

Lori's eye twitched though she kept smiling. "O-Oh, ok then!"

As soon as the guard turned away, Lori looked at the portal gun. "Dang it, low charge. Oh well. I guess I'll just return back home and get it charged. Maybe I could 'borrow' some of Rick's stuff." Before the guard noticed her, she fired a portal and quickly jumped through.

...

Bird World was a naturalistic world. It's inhabitants lived in wooden structures, many of which were incorporated into the trees. Despite this, the bird people still had access to modern technology. Luna knocked on the door to Birdperson's house with her head hung low. It didn't take very long for Birdperson to answer. "Luna."

"Hey, Birdperson dude." Luna gave a small wave.

Birdperson stood aside. "Would you like to come in?" Luna nodded as she entered Birdperson's home.

...

Rick attempted to try and comfort his son who was still sobbing in a corner. "Come on, Lynn, you know you're not actually out of the band right?" This didn't do much as Lynn was still hurt from his own daughter of all people wanting to kick him out of the band. Rick groaned and turned to Ice-T, who was sat on the floor, playing on his phone with an apathetic look on his face. "Hey uh, do you think you could give me some help or...?"

Ice-T shook his head. "Ah, hell no, man. You do your thing, but I can't afford to get wrapped up in your family drama. You know what I'm sayin'?"

Rick frowned. "Ice, I don't want to be a Negative Nelly or anything, but if Lincoln or Luna don't come back with my portal guns and I eat it out there, it's, uh, kind of your problem too."

Ice-T scoffed. "Pfff. I ain't worried about no Earth blowin' up, man."

"What? Why not?"

"Yo, this is why." Ice-T stood up and assumed a T-pose before transforming into a floating ice shard though he still had his face and necklace.

Rick stared at him in shock. "What the fuck? You can turn into ice?"

"My story begins at the dawn of time in the far away realm of Alphabetrium. There, every being is a letter of the alphabet. But I was frozen and exiled to the cosmos by my elders as punishment for not caring enough about anything. Earth is just one of the many stops on my lifelong journey with no destination. So you better believe I don't care if it blows up! 'Cause I'll just be ice, floatin' through space, like a comet!"

"Take it from me, Ice. You can't just float around space not caring about stuff forever."

Ice-T scoffed. "Pshhhh. Man, watch me. Good luck, Rick." Ice-T then blasted off through the ceiling of the studio, leaving a hole behind.

Lynn Sr. stared at the hole in shock. "Does this kind of stuff always happen on your adventures?"

The President, who saw the whole thing, also stared at the hole in shock. "Ok, things are getting out of hand. I better make sure Rick has everything he needs to 'get schwifty.'"

General Nathan pinched the bridge of his nose. "Oh, for God's sake, that's enough." The general pulled out a gun and aimed it at the president.

"What the hell are you doing, Nathan? I'm the goddamn President of the United fuckin' States!"

"I'm setting the nuclear option to launch one minute into Earth's performance. And you, 'Mr. President', I hope you like being hit in the face with a gun!"

The President looked nervous. "Wait, wait, wait, why-why-" General Nathan then pistol-whipped the President, knocking him to the floor, out cold.

...

Birdperson's home looked like a mix between a bird's nest and a regular house. Birdperson handed Luna a bowl of food before sitting next to her on the couch. "So, why have you come here?"

"I need to ask about Rick. Lately, I've been thinking about if I should really trust him." She put a spoonful of food in her mouth before spitting it back out. "Ew, what is this? Bird seeds?"

"It is random debris. I found it in my carpet. I don't know what humans eat."

Luna pushed the bowl aside. "Look, I remember you saying something about Rick being burdened with knowledge or something. What did you mean by that?"

Birdperson looked away for a moment before turning back to Luna. "Has Rick told you about alternate universes?" Luna nodded. She knew more than enough about them. "Then you know that our universe is simply one of an infinite amount of them. In the grand scheme of things, our lives are extremely insignificant."

Luna thought about what Birdperson said. "Is this why he seems so...uncaring?"

"In a sense, how Rick may act may not seem that unnatural. Imagine knowing that no matter what you do, countless people will always be suffering. Even as we speak there are likely many versions of you or your family being killed or your planet being destroyed right now. This is why Rick chooses to not think about it."

As grim as it was, Rick's mindeset was starting to make sense to her. It's no wonder he cared so little during the valentines incident. Worse things have probably happened to the Earth. In a sense, was she any different? Even on Earth, she knew there were many people that were suffering all over the world. She couldn't do anything about it so she chose to not think about it. On the other hand, was Rick truly that uncaring? Why did Rick make such an effort to save them all during the valentines incident when he could've just replaced all of them in a different dimension. Not to mention, he never really let them get hurt on his adventures and he did try and cheer her up by taking her to the SMOOCH concert. "Is he really that uncaring though."

Birdperson shook his head. "I don't believe he is. He may have the power to save or even destroy worlds. But he is also the reason you and I know each other. And the reason I'm alive at all." Birdperson pointed to three framed photos behind Luna. One was of a younger Rick and Birdperson. Rick had an arm around Birdperson and one of Rick's old inventions were behind them. The second photo was of The Flesh Curtains doing a performance. The last photo was of a smiling Rick holding a crying, baby Lori. Luna could instantly tell it was Lori due to the strange lump at the top of her head, making it seem cone shaped and her webbed feet. Lori was a weird looking baby.

Thinking about it, maybe Rick did care. He just cared more for what's important. Which was what she should've been doing. She'd been more concerned with Mick Swagger than the cromulons that would destroy the planet if Rick's band didn't impress them. "Man, I feel like a jerk."

Both of them heard knocking on the door. Birdperson stood up. "Excuse me." Luna watched as Birdperson went to answer the door.

"Hey, Luna."

Luna jumped. She had forgotten that Tammy lived here now as she turned to see her leaning on the side of the couch, wearing a bathrobe. "Oh, h-hey Tammy." Luna wasn't really that close to Tammy. Only really knowing her through Lori. She thought her relationship with Birdperson was a little odd but who was she to judge? "So, what's it like living here?"

Tammy grinned. "Oh, it's great! Birdperson's quite the man isn't he?" Tammy giggled while Luna just awkwardly laughed.

"Fancy place you got here, mate."

Luna's eyes widened. She did not expect Lincoln to come by Birdperson's house with Mick Swagger of all people. "M-Mick?"

"Luna! What were you thinking?" Lincoln chastised.

Tammy squealed. "Oh my gosh! Mick Swagger! Could I please get an autograph?"

Mick quickly got out a small piece of paper before writing his name on it and giving it to Tammy. "Here ya go, love!" Tammy squealed again in response. Mick sat next to Luna while Birdperson went to turn his TV on. "So, what's going on with you then?"

Luna sighed. "I'm sorry, Mick. When I heard you were coming, I wanted to impress you. Show you my very best. But all I did was make a mess."

Mick Swagger stroked his chin. "Hmm. Well you know what I've always said. Rock and roll isn't about being the best, it's about having fun."

Luna's eyes widened as she remembered that Rick had said something similar earlier. "Dang. I don't know how I could've forgotten that."

"Well, when was the last time you had fun?" Mick Swagger asked.

Luna thought back to her first performance with Rick. While she was nervous and confused with what kind of song Rick was singing, she had to admit, she had a little bit of fun playing with her family. She could tell Rick, Lincoln and her dad were definitely having fun. Her thought process was them interrupted by the TV which was broadcasting Planet Music. "That was Chunky Tunk with 'Full Ming Mong, Empty Gorp Dorp.' Up next, planet Earth!"

Luna stood up. "Oh geez! Lincoln, Mick, we gotta go!"

...

Mr. Poopybutthole was sat in an office with two bodyguards stood behind him. His arms were strapped to the chair as he stuggled to get free. "Oooooh wee, I gotta get my poopy pants out of here!"

"Mr. Poopybutthole, are you not happy to see me?" A woman asked as she slowly walked behind Mr. Poopybutthole. She had short brown hair and wore a pair of sunglasses. "It's been so long and we have so much to catch up on."

"Ooh, let me go, Cecelia."

Cecelia grasped Mr. Poopybutthole's shoulders. "Oh Mr. Poopybutthole, you know I can't do that." She let go and walked back in front of him, smiling. "You just got here! And I've got so much planned for the two of us." She went to pick up a mug of coffee. "Do you remember the time you signed all those contacts and made those movies that made me richer than my wildest dreams? Oh no wait, that didn't happen." She angrily threw the mug to the floor. "BECAUSE YOU WALKED OUT WITHOUT ANY WARNING!"

"Ooooh Cecelia, you wouldn't let me quit! You forced me to run away!" Mr. Poopybutthole argued.

Cecelia waved her hand dismissively. "Ah, agree to disagree, Mr. Poopybutthole."

"You'd lock me in the studio! You literally would not let me leave!"

"AND YOU'RE GOING TO LIVE IN THAT STUDIO TO MAKE UP FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE!" Cecelia calmed herself down. "Ahem. I mean the thing is darling, I'm your agent and I own you. You do what I want and when I want. When I heard you had reappeared, I spared no time! Our schedule is now fully booked out with movies, TV appearances, commercials...your disappearance cost me dearly so I'm going to make you make up for lost time...and all those lost paychecks." Upon seeing Mr. Poopybutthole scowl at her, she grinned. "Oh, what's the matter, Poopy?" She pinched his cheeks. "Does this lil' poopy pants not want to be a lil' poopy superstar?"

Cecelia was then caught off guard as a portal suddenly appeared. Lori stepped out of it, aiming a laser gun at her. "Step away from Mr. Poopybutthole." Cecelia raised her hands to surrender.

"Lori!"

"PB!"

Lori ran over and freed Mr. Poopybutthole from his restraints. He smiled gratefully. "Lori, you came to rescue me!"

"Of course I did! It's literally the least I could do to make things up to you."

Mr. Poopybutthole waved his hand dismissively. "Ah, forget it Lori. You're one of the sweetest girls I've ever met. Don't let no one tell you differently."

Lori smiled at him with tears in her eyes. "Wow...that's so..." Cecelia then quickly ran up to Lori and knocked the gun out of her hands. "Hey!"

"Pure poison!" Cecelia snapped. "Your venomous words may be tight around Mr. Poopybutthole's brain, but you need to work on tightening your grip, madam. Now please, will someone dispose of this woman?"

One of the bodyguards got out her own gun. "With pleasure boss!"

"Oh my! Lori, I'll save you!" As the bodyguard fired her gun, Mr. Poopybutthole jumped in front of the blast.

"PB! No!" After getting hit, Lori picked him up and cradled him. "Oh my God PB...they shot your hat off!"

Mr. Poopybutthole stood up. "Oooh. Ah thought I was gonna die!"

Lori hugged him. "Me too! I'm so glad you're okay."

Meanwhile, Cecelia was growling in anger. "Ugh, useless! Your top hat was your main appeal and without it you're nothing!"

Lori gave Cecelia a dumbfounded look. "Are you serious?! Mr. Poopybutthole is way more than his hat! Actually, you know what? Whatever, I'm literally done with this." Lori got a spare laser gun to keep Cecelia and her bodyguards back while she got out her portal gun and fired a portal. "You ready to go home, Mr. Poopybutthole?"

"Oooh wee, I sure am, Lori." After Mr. Poopybutthole picked up his cane, the two left through the portal. Once they left, Cecelia could do nothing but scream in rage.

...

A portal appeared in the now empty studio as Lincoln, Luna and Mick Swagger stepped out of it. "Hello? Is anybody here?" Lincoln called out.

The three looked around until Luna noticed the President was tied up. "Mr. President!" Luna, along with Lincoln and Mick, darted towards him and untied him.

The President gasped for breath as he climbed onto the console and pressed a button. "This is Bluebird. Code tango-niner-alpha. Abort launch. Abort! Hello?" There was no response. "He's blocked me out."

"Sir, we need to get to the stage and help Grandpa Rick get schwifty!" Luna stated.

The President stood up properly as he faced the group. "It won't matter how schwifty you get, Luna. The General's got nukes set to launch halfway through Earth's song!"

"We'd better ride one of them Blackhawks there then, eh?" Mick Swagger suggested.

"I...don't exactly know how to ride one." The President admitted. "But I'll do what I can."

...

Meanwhile, a sheepish Rick and a depressed Lynn Sr. stood on stage before the cromulons. "SHOW ME WHAT YOU GOT."

"Ahem." Rick pressed a button on his keyboard which played a low-key, bouncy song. "Uhhh...lop-oo-lop-oo-lop-oo-dups, nop-oo-nop-oo-nop-oo-nuts."

...

Leni and Luan were watching TV when a portal appeared with Lori and Mr. Poopybutthole stepping out of it. "Hi, Lori. Hi, Mr. Poopybutthole." Leni greeted. She then noticed what Lori was wearing. "Hmm. I'm not really sure those kind of stripes are working for you Lori."

Lori looked down at her shirt before rolling her eyes. "I'll change out of it later."

"So where've you guys been? Did you two go on your own adventure?" Luan asked.

"Yeah, it was... actually kinda fun!" Lori admitted, surprising herself. "So, did I miss anything while I was gone?"

"Well, after those giant heads appeared, Scoots tried to set up a cult and-"

"And that's about all I needed to hear."

...

"Nup-oo-nup-oo-nup-oo-nups..." Rick noticed the cromulons were frowning at him. "Ooh, tough crowd." The cromulons then started to boo. Luckily, a helicopter clumsily flew by as Lincoln, Luna, Mick and the President came down from it, causing the cromulons to cheer. "Lincoln! Luna!"

As the unmanned helicopter flew off to crash away from the stage, Luna went over to Rick and her dad. "Guys, I'm so sorry. I acted way out of line." She then noticed her Dad was still despondent. "Dad, I'm really sorry I tried to kick you out. We're a family band and playing wouldn't be as fun without you."

Lynn. Sr. brightened up. "You mean it?" After Luna nodded, he brought his cowbell back out. "Apology accepted! THE BELL IS BACK!"

Meanwhile, the President grabbed a microphone to talk to the control room staff. "Call off the nuclear strike! This is the President. Stop the nuclear missile launch!"

"Just launch the missiles!" General Nathan ignored the President's order and slammed his fist on one of the computers.

This caused two missiles to be sent flying towards one of the cromulons. Unfortunately, General Nathan had severely overestimated the size of the missiles compared to the cromulon as the missiles did very little to it beyond irritate it. "BOO! NOT COOL! DISQUALIFIED!"

The cromulons powered up their plasma ray and had it fire towards the Earth. However, before it hit the planet, something flew in the way of the blast, blocking it. "Ice-T?!" Everyone shouted.

Ice-T was slowly crumbling from the plasma ray's power. "That's right, it's me, Ice-T! I care now! You made me care more! With all due respect, I'd like to hear what Rick and his family have to play."

"What do you say, Grandpa Rick?" Luna asked.

"I say..." Rick grabbed the microphone. "Let's do it!"

Lincoln pressed a button on the keyboard causing a different beat to start playing. The cromulons start to cheer as they stop firing the laser. Apart from Lynn Sr. who was still going at the cowbell, everyone, including the President, simply danced and sang along with Rick.

All right!

Ohhhh yeahhhh!

Come on, here we go!

Ohhhh yeahhhh!

Say it with me!

Head bent over

Raised up posterior

Head bent over (ahh yeah)

Raised up posterior

Head bent over (yeah)

Raised up posterior (oh yeah)

Head bent over (oh yeah)

Raised up posterior!

"Luna! Take a solo!" Rick shouted. Luna grinned as she grabbed her guitar and rocked on as the song finished up.

The cromulons smiled at them. "After 988 seasons of Planet Music, the cromulons have decided to declare Earth the final winner and bring our musical reality show to a conclusion. Goodbye!" The planet was then transported away and put back where it was.

Everyone cheered in celebration before Mick Swagger approached Luna. "Hey, mate! You guys looked like you were having fun out there!"

Luna smiled. "We were."

"And you were brilliant. You've got real talent."

Luna blushed as she rubbed her arm. "Thanks. And thanks for that little talk back at Birdperson's place. It really helped straighten me out. I was being horrible." She could also thank Birdperson for helping her straighten out. In fact, thanks to him, she had finally managed to let go of the valentines day incident by doing the only thing she could do. By choosing not to think about it. She didn't mention that to Mick though.

"No worries love." Mick then noticed Lynn Sr.. "You were great, too! I love that passion on the cowbell!" Lynn Sr. gasped at the praise before fainting from shock.

Meanwhile, Lincoln was shaking hands with the President. "I hope I can call on you again if we need you, Lincoln."

"Sure thing!" Lincoln got his phone out. "Hey do you think I could get a selfie with you?"

The President waved over his secret service. "Sorry Lincoln but no and if you try to tell anyone what happened here, we'll deny it and probably worse."

A secret service agent grabbed Lincoln's phone and snapped it in half. Lincoln looked down in disappointment. "Understood." Despite what he just did, the President couldn't help feeling sorry for the boy. Especially as he couldn't shake the feeling that he had met Lincoln somewhere before.

"DIIIIEEEE!" General Nathan came running at the group with a gun before Rick fired an energy blast from his wrist watch, making him instantly disappear.

The President stared at Rick in shock. "So, you can just disintegrate people."

"Particle beam in a wristwatch. It's as instantaneous as it gets." Rick explained.

The President couldn't help but wonder why he didn't have access to the kind of technology as he started to feel a small bit of envy towards Rick. "Right..."


	18. Pulp Ricktion

Lincoln had to admit, he sometimes felt inferior compared to his sisters. They all had so many talents and all he did was read comics and play videogames. However, thanks to Lola of all people, had been inspired to turn his hobby into his talent as he was currently sat on his bed, applying the final touches to the comic that he had been drawing. "And done!" Lincoln turned to the audience. "It took a lot of work, but I finally completed my own comic. And just in time to submit it for the Ace Savvy contest. If I win this, not only will this get made into a real Ace Savvy comic, I'll get to meet the creator himself, Bill Buck! All that's left to do is see what my sisters think of it...and I guess Grandpa Rick too. He might not be much of a superhero fan but if I can somehow impress him, I'll be sure to win the contest."

...

Rick was applying some kind of device to his portal gun when Lana came bursting into the garage. "Hey, Grandpa Rick!" Lana then noticed what Rick was busy with. "What are you doing?"

"Oh, hey Lana, I'm just attaching this scanner to my portal device." Rick explained. "If this works, it'll be able to scan any photo and create a portal leading straight to it. Should make getting around way easier."

"Oh, cool." Lana then remembered what she came in for. "Oh yeah, Lincoln's finished that comic book he's been working on. He wants to show it to us."

Rick frowned. "The Ace Savvy comic?" Rick groaned. "Fine. Let's get this over with."

...

It was the middle of the night. In an abandoned warehouse, Ace Savvy and One-eyed Jack looked down in fear at the shark tank that they were hanging over as the shark was staring at them hungrily. Ace Savvy wore a typical superhero costume: a red sleeveless shirt and shorts, a yellow belt, and a blue cape. On his chest he had a black spade with an 'A' symbol. He looked exactly like Lincoln. One-eyed Jack wore an eyepatch, a blue sweater, with a white shirt, black boots, and a yellow belt. He looked exactly like Clyde. The two had been chained up by the dastardly villain, Wild Card Willy. The elderly villain wore a black cowboy hat and jacket along with a red handkerchief over his mouth. He laughed evilly. "Game over, Ace Savvy and One-Eyed Jack!"

Ace Savvy glared at Wild Card Willy defiantly. "Think again, Wild Card Willy! I've got a few more cards up my sleeve!" Ace Savvy got out a pack of cards and dropped them onto the ground in front of Willy. Willy looked at the cards, noticing images of the Full House Gang on them.

He then heard a horn blaring as a van suddenly came bursting into the warehouse. Driving the van was Lori, wearing dark blue goggles with a light blue rim, white earrings, a white jumpsuit, and sky blue boots with white platforms. She also wore a long, off-white scarf and blue fingerless driving gloves. "Alright, girls, let's deal with these losers!"

THE HIGH CARD

The van opened up as the rest of the Full House Gang leapt into action. Wild Card Willy cowered behind one of his henchmen. "Eep! Get them!"

Lily and Lola confronted two of the henchmen. "You take the baby, I'll take the princess." One of the henchmen told the other one.

"Excuse you. I am the queen." Lola stated. She flicked her hair as her diamond decorated tiara sparkled. She was wearing a light pink dress along with a hot pink cape also decorated with diamonds. She also wore long pink gloves, pink boots, and a diamond belt.

THE QUEEN OF DIAMONDS

The Queen tossed her tiara like a boomerang at one of the henchmen, knocking him out. The other henchmen glared at her as he started to charge at them. Lily, now wearing a red mask with a two card, a yellow bib with a black two card and red boots and gloves, held up two stinky diapers.

THE DEUCE

The Deuce tossed her diapers at the henchmen. The diapers acted as stink bombs as the foul stench quickly knocked him out.

Luna, who had white face paint with black clubs around her eyes, wore black fingerless gloves, a purple leotard, black leggings, and long purple boots. She had a black x-shaped harness with a skeleton on the front, which held up a jet pack. She also has a black studded collar. She plugged in her card shaped guitar into an amp. "Get ready to do the Bad Guy Shuffle!"

THE NIGHT CLUB

The Night Club blared her guitar which knocked the henchmen towards a hole that Lucy had dug up with her shovel. She was wearing a dark blue hooded cape, with the front of the hood shaped like a spade, a sleeveless black dress with an 8 on the bottom and long black gloves. "No aces in this hole."

THE EIGHT OF SPADES

Lynn adjusted her red headband decorated with diamonds, spades, hearts, and clubs. She was wearing red and white shoes, red knee pads, and red and white wristbands along with a red and white striped leotard with torn sleeves. She started to charge towards a couple henchmen before knocking them out with a headbutt. "52 Pickup!"

THE STRONG SUIT

"Or more precisely, six." Lisa corrected. She was wearing a green shirt, gloves, a red scarf, green shoes, and red shorts. Another henchmen tried to sneak up on her before she smashed his face with a calculator, knocking him out. "Make that seven."

THE CARD COUNTER

As Ace Savvy and One-eyed Jack were slowly lowered into the tank, Ace Savvy looked up, noticing Leni standing on the catwalk. She wore a seafoam green headband, with red heart sunglasses on top, hot pink earrings, which matched the color of the bow on her back, with long ribbons that have red hearts on them, a red and black heart shaped bow tie and a white seafoam dress, with an 11 on the bottom, along with black seafoam boots. "Hey, guys, check out my new outfit. It's perfect for fall weather and springing into action!" She used the sash on her outfit as a utility rope as she swung down and saved Ace Savvy and One-eyed Jack before landing back on the catwalk. "Ugh, these belts are so 90's!" She pulled the chains off of them, freeing them.

THE ELEVEN OF HEARTS

As the three jumped down, Ace Savvy noticed Wild Card Willy was trying to retreat. "Wild Card's getting away!"

Lana, wearing a red mask and cape along with a light and dark blue jumpsuit with a yellow belt and red boots, loosened a bolt on the shark tanks' pipe. "Hey, Willy, go fish!"

THE ROYAL FLUSH

The tank came loose. Wild Card Willy yelped as the water, along with the shark, spilt towards him though he managed to evade it. Before he could reach the exit though, he was knocked back by a jack-in-the-box style trap that Luan then came out of as she had set it up. She had her hair up in two pigtails, one held up with a pink scrunchy and the other with a yellow scrunchy. She wore a yellow butterfly shaped mask with pink and black diamonds around it and a black and yellow dress that resembled a jester outfit, with her pink squirting flower on the front, and mismatched boots. "I see your bet and raise you!" Luan laughed.

THE JOKER

Wild Card Willy landed near Ace Savvy and One-eyed Jack who proceeded in beating him down and tying him up. "Willy, why do you always have to play dirty cards?" Ace Savvy asked.

"'Cause that's the only way to clean up." Wild Card Willy answered. "So, I guess it's off to jail for me."

...

After Lincoln showed his sisters and Rick, who were all crowded around him in his room, the last panel of his comic with Wild Card Willy in a jail cell, he couldn't help but feel slightly nervous about how they'd react as none of them were into comics except for maybe Lucy. "So what did you guys think?" To his pleasant surprise, most of them seemed genuinely impressed.

"I LOVE it!" Lola exclaimed.

"This is really good, Lincoln!" Lori praised.

"I must admit, I had no idea you had this much skills in artistry." Lisa admitted.

Only two of them weren't as positive as everyone else. One of them was Lynn who looked unimpressed. "Meh. It's okay I guess."

The other one was Rick, who just looked bored. "I guess it's okay for a superhero comic."

Lori turned to him, slightly miffed by his reaction. "Really? That's the nicest thing you can say about it?"

"Look, it's well drawn and all, it's just that, you know, not really into capeshit." Rick admitted. "I mean, it's all kind of the same shit really. DC, Marvel, whatever the hell Ace Savvy's from because I don't give a shit. It's not exactly what I'd call high art. Also did I ever mention that puns are the lowest form of comedy?"

Lori noticed Lincoln was looking slightly sheepish due to Rick's comments. Luan then gave Rick a wry grin. "You sure you're not just upset because you're not in it?"

"That's ridiculous. That's like saying the only reason you like it is because you're in it. Also 'The Joker'? Don't you think that name's kind of taken already?"

"But it works so well with Luan and the theme of the group!" Lincoln argued.

"I always did think we lived in a society." Luan joked.

Lori rolled her eyes before putting a reassuring hand on Lincoln's shoulder. "Just ignore him. If you submit that comic, I guarantee you'll literally win that contest."

Lincoln smiled. "Thanks, Lori."

...

The next day at school, during lunchtime, Lincoln was showing his comic off to his friends. "Awesome." Said Liam.

"Cool!" Said Zach.

"Not bad, Lame-O!" Ronnie Anne praised.

"That was sick. Where'd you get the idea for all those butt-kicking super ladies?" Rusty asked.

"From my sisters. They've always got my back." Lincoln answered.

"You're totally gonna win the contest." Clyde stated.

"Darn tootin." Liam agreed.

"Word." Rusty added.

Suddenly, Lincoln's comic was snatched off of him. He turned around to see the angry face of Principal Huggins. "Loud, school time is meant for learning, not for doodling degenerate fantasies! This trash belongs to me now!"

Lincoln stared at his principal in shock. "But Principal Huggins, you can't take my comic!"

"Oh, and now you're giving me sass? That's detention! Today! Till 5:00!"

Lincoln started to panic. "But I need to get to the post office by 4:00. That's the contest deadline."

"Oh, I didn't realize. I'll just give it back to you." Principal Huggins said sarcastically. "NOT!"

...

After school ended, Principal Huggins went straight to Lincoln's class to personally escort him to the detention room. Lincoln seemed to be the only one in detention. In fact no one at all was in it. "I've got just the thing to keep those doodling hands of yours busy: cleaning erasers." Principal Huggins dropped the dirty erasers in Lincoln's hands before leaving.

As soon as he left, Lincoln dropped the erasers and went straight to the door to try to get out. "Dang it. He locked me in from the outside. Ok, need to think of a plan. Maybe if I sharpen a bunch of pencils, I could just dig my way out."

At that moment, Lincoln heard a noise coming from the door handle before Lola opened the door, twirling her tiara. "Or I could just pick the lock." She put the tiara back on. "Not that your idea wasn't great."

"Lola? Why are you busting me out?" Lincoln asked.

Lana then came into the room. "Clyde told us about Huggins confiscating your comic book." Clyde then came in.

"The one starring me as Queen of Diamonds!" Lola added.

"And me as the Royal Flush! Also we called everyone else about it too." Lincoln looked out the room to see the rest of his sisters standing there, apart from Lily.

Lola folded her arms. "You think we're gonna let some power-tripping principal take away our chance to get famous?"

Lincoln smiled gratefully. "Thanks, guys. But how are we gonna get my comic back?"

Lisa cleared her throat to get everyone's attention. "Let's go about this sensibly. Our parental figures should have the authority to take back items that the school has confiscated."

"But our parents are still at work." Lori argued.

"Rick isn't." Luna pointed out.

There was a silent pause for a moment before Lori sighed, getting out her phone. "Fine, I'll give him a call."

...

Principal Huggins was working in his office when suddenly, Rick came bursting in along with the Loud siblings and Clyde. "Hey, what are you-"

"I'm here to pick up my grandson's dumb comic book." Rick interrupted him. The look on Rick's face showed that he really didn't want to deal with this. "I'm his grandfather, so I guess that means I have the authority to take it back or whatever."

"Uh, um..." Principal Huggins glared at Rick. "I-I'm afraid anything that gets confiscated is property of the school. You can't have it back."

Rick gave the principal an unimpressed look. "Hey uh, we've met before right? Back at the frog incident. Hey did you know that literally every other school has their frogs shipped in already dead? Yours is the only school I know that shipped them in alive. I mean, what were you gonna do? Were you gonna kill them all yourself or were you gonna make the students do it when they dissected them?" Principal Huggins started to sweat. "I'm just wondering what the school board would say if they heard about this."

"Ok! You win! You can have the comic!" Principal Huggins got up and walked over to his bag to get out Lincoln's comic.

"Thank you!" Rick tried to take the comic from Principal Huggins though he didn't seem to loosen his grip on it. "Uh, let go?" Rick pulled harder but Principal Huggins still didn't let go of it.

Principal Huggins then noticed a strange device in Rick's coat pocket. Using his other hand, he quickly snatched it from him. "What is this supposed to be?"

"That's my portal gun, give it back!"

"You brought a gun to school grounds?!"

"It fires portals, dipshit, now give it back!" The two then fought over both the comic and the portal gun. In the midst of their struggle, Principal Huggins accidentally activated the scanner on Rick's portal gun which scanned Lincoln's comic book. The portal gun fritzed out for a moment before firing a portal. Unlike the other portals, this glitched out one started to suck in everyone in the room. Everyone screamed as they were sucked in and everything went black.

...

Lincoln groaned and rubbed his head as he began to regain consciousness. "Ugh, what happened."

His eyes then widened as he looked down at what he was wearing, which appeared to be Ace Savvy's outfit. "No way!" He got up and looked around at his surroundings. "Is this Ace Savvy's secret headquarters?!" Lincoln then heard groaning as he saw his sisters and Clyde lying around, also starting to wake up. They were also wearing the same outfits from Lincoln's comic.

"Ugh...what happened?" Lana asked.

"What am I wearing?" Lori asked.

Clyde gasped. "This is Ace Savvy's secret headquarters!"

"What is going on here?!" Lola shouted.

Nearby, an automatic door opened up as Rick stepped inside, now dressed as a butler. "Ok, why am I dressed like this? I didn't realise butlers were such a massive superhero cliche. I thought that was just a Batman thing."

The Loud siblings and Clyde all started to crowd around Rick. "Grandpa Rick, what's happening?" Lincoln asked.

"Isn't it obvious Lincoln? We're inside your comic book!"

All of them stared at Rick in shock. Especially Clyde. "Wha? But...how?"

"My portal scanner scanned Lincoln's comic. It glitched out. It must have created some...crazy alternate reality made up from Lincoln's comic and sucked us all into it. None of this is even real!"

Clyde turned to Lincoln. "Does this kind of stuff happen to you guys regularly?"

Lincoln shrugged. "Kinda."

"Dude, you've gotta take me on these adventures more often."

"Ehhh..." Lincoln wasn't too sure about that.

Lisa still seemed baffled. "How is this even scientifically possible?!"

"It's a bunch of sciencey, mumbo jumbo bullshit, it'd take forever to explain. Look, I know what all of you are thinking. This is the stupidest shit you've ever been through. And I agree with you. But don't worry, if I can find my portal gun, I can fix all of this."

"Well, where is it?" Luna asked.

"No idea." Rick answered. "Maybe Principal frog killer has it wherever he is."

"Well, what are we supposed to do now then?" Lori asked.

Everyone started to hear beeping. They looked towards the giant screen in the room as a news report came on. "Breaking news! Witnesses have reported sightings of a giant gas monster somewhere around the city." As the newsman said this, a blurred photo of the monster came up on screen. "We don't know where it came from or what it wants, all we know is that it's leaving a really foul stench."

Lincoln grinned. "Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking? While we're here, why don't we try actually being superheroes?"

While Clyde beamed at the idea, his sisters were a bit more apprehensive. "I don't know..." Lori said.

Lynn especially seemed against the idea. "Seriously?"

"Come on guys, haven't any of you wondered what it'd be like to actually be superheroes?" Lincoln asked.

"...I guess it can't hurt to try." Lucy conceded.

"Oh, it totally could." Luan added. "But eh, what the heck. I'm game."

"Yeah, you kids have fun, I'll be busy doing the actual work, trying to find Principal Dipshit." Rick snarked.

...

Lori rode the van through the large city that seemed to be stuck in perpetual night time until they eventually came across the foul stench. Everyone got out the van and followed Lincoln and Clyde as they tried to follow the scent. "Ugh, it's like sauerkraut and hot garbage!" Clyde remarked as his face scrunched up. "The gas is everywhere! There's no way to tell which direction it's-" he then heard a squelching sound as he realised he just stepped in something. "Ugh." He picked whatever he stepped in off his shoe. "I seem to have stepped in some sort of lumpy, viscous ooze!" He then noticed a trail of the ooze and pointed to it. "Look!"

"Follow that ooze!" Lincoln ordered as everyone followed after him and Clyde. As they followed the trail, Lincoln noticed the gas was starting to get thicker. "We must be getting close. Keep a sharp eye out, Jack!"

"I'm way ahead of you."

Lori cringed. "This is literally going to be really disgusting isn't it.

They followed the trail into an alleyway when suddenly, the gas monster revealed himself, roaring at the gang and giving them an evil grin. "Pee-yew, that stinks. Did you make this guy, Lori?" Luan joked, earning a glare from Lori.

Lincoln held out a couple of cards. "Ok guys, it's time to deal out some justice!"

"'Bout time we got some action!" Lynn said before charging towards the monster.

Lincoln held his hand out to stop her. "Lynn, wait!" He was too late as Lynn charged at the monster, only to go through him and hit the wall behind it.

Clyde gasped. "She pierced right through him!"

The monster then grabbed and picked up Lynn. She struggled to get out of his fist as the monster laughed at her. "Yet he's somehow able to grab us!" Lincoln stated.

Lori then came to a realisation. "Wait, what's my superpower again? All I did was drive everyone around!"

Lisa looked at some of the gadgets she had brought with her. She didn't make any of it so she wasn't really familiar with it. "I'm going to need a moment."

Lucy looked down at her shovel then back at the monster. "What am I supposed to do with this?"

Luan then decided to try something as she threw a bomb towards the monster. "Hey, stinky! How about a little laughing gas?" The bomb let out some gas which only got absorbed into the monster, having very little effect on him. Luan looked disappointed. "Well, good thing I'm used to bombing. Heh heh..."

Clyde was starting to panic. "Lincoln, what do we do?"

Lincoln tried to stay confident. "Don't worry, I think I have a plan. Luna! Blast your guitar at him!" Luna nodded and got up close to the monster before unleashing a loud note on it. The monster dropped Lynn as he roared in agony from his ears being pierced. "Lola! Use your cape to blind it!" Lola flashed her cape. The light shining from the diamonds blinded the monster. He tried to shield his eyes as he floated back towards a fire hydrant. "Lana, open up that fire hydrant!" Lana ran towards the fire hydrant and opened it up with her wrench, causing water to spray at the monster. "Quick Leni! While it's distracted, snare it with your sash!"

"But like, won't it go through him or something?" Leni asked.

"Don't worry, your sash is magic!"

Leni shrugged before using her sash to snare the monster. "Wah!" The monster then thrashed around, trying to free itself from the sash which caused Leni to get dragged around.

"Hang on, Leni!" Lincoln flew up and grabbed the other side of the sash. Lincoln and Leni's combined strength managed to keep the monster still. "Lisa! You-"

"Already on it!" Lisa threw a small box underneath the monster and then pressed a button on a remote. The box then sucked the monster into it, sealing it in.

Everyone then took a moment to catch their breaths before Lincoln cheered. "That was awesome! We did it guys! Now, let's head back to base."

As the sisters followed Lincoln and Clyde back to the van, they all couldn't help but feel disappointed. Some of them barely did anything that impressive during the battle while some of them didn't really do anything at all. Lynn especially felt irritated. She felt utterly disgusted at how useless she looked during the whole battle. Especially compared to Lincoln, who was hardly the strongest person in her family. "There's no way it would have happened like that in the real world." She muttered to herself.

...

The Full House Gang returned to their secret headquarters to see Rick sat on swivel chair, watching the giant screen and eating some popcorn. He spun around to face them with a smug looking grin. "Oh hey, did you guys have fun fighting a literal fart?"

"What are you doing?" Lori asked.

"I thought I'd look around for a bit and found a spy camera." Rick explained. "You know, the ones that fly around and follow you? Anyway, I thought I'd watch the whole thing. And I have to say: wow. Just wow."

Lincoln rolled his eyes. "Yeah, yeah, I know, you don't like superheroes. It was still pretty fun though, right guys?" All of them looked sheepish, not wanting to really answer that question. "Guys?"

"Not really." Lynn admitted.

"W-Why not?"

"Uh, cus it stunk! You do know that'd never happen in real life, right? I looked like a chump!"

"To be fair, you did kinda charge in without thinking."

"Whatever! It's not like any of this is real anyway. This is all just some dorky fantasy of yours."

Lincoln frowned. "I'm uh...I'm gonna look around the hideout a bit. To see if there's a bathroom." Lincoln then walked off.

"Uh, me too." Clyde said before following Lincoln.

As soon as they both left, Lynn decided to say what had been on her mind for a while. "This whole superhero thing stinks!"

Rick grinned. "Finally, someone gets it."

"It's so dumb! You don't get strong just by magically getting 'superpowers'. You get strong by working for it!"

"Don't forget how inconsistent it is. I mean, people can't touch a gas monster but water can? How does that make sense?"

Lori frowned. "Look guys, I'll admit, I'm not really a fan of the whole superhero thing either but you really don't need to shove it in Lincoln's face."

"Why are you even defending him Lori? You do realise he's basically made you a glorified uber driver, right?" Rick asked.

"Yeah what gives? Didn't we all used to make fun of Lincoln's dorky comic obsession?" Lynn asked.

"Look, I don't think Lincoln intentionally made us look weak. Maybe there's just something about it we're missing." Lori argued. "And Lynn, look, I've been talking to Lincoln a lot lately." She had been doing so ever since the dream incident though she didn't mention that. "He's always kind of felt like he wasn't that talented compared to the rest of us. Now that he's finally found his own talent, I just don't think it'd be right to keep making fun of him over it." This was mostly Lori's own reasoning as the other sisters also had their own reasons. Luan knew what it felt like to have your talent get thrown back in your face and didn't want to put Lincoln through that. Likewise, Lola knew what it was like to lose something you were passionate about and after encouraging Lincoln do this in the first place, she didn't think it'd be right to make fun of him for it. Lucy felt like she was the last person that should be making fun of someone for their interests though like the rest of her sisters, she only really did it because the others were doing it.

Rick rolled his eyes. "So? I wouldn't exactly call making superhero comics a talent. If he wants to find a talent that's actually usefiul, he should try focusing on science."

"Or he could try getting into sports." Lynn argued. "He probably wouldn't feel so bad about himself if he beefed up a bit."

Lori started to get frustrated. "Ugh, whatever. All I'm saying is if you two keep going on at Lincoln like this, eventually, he's just not going to want to go near either of you."

Both Rick and Lynn's eyes widened at that comment.

...

Lincoln and Clyde were in the midst of a conversation as they made their way back to everyone else. "So, you seem to be handling yourself around Lori a lot better." Lincoln remarked.

"Huh. Oh, yeah. I'm trying to get over Lori. I realised it was time to start looking at that kinda stuff a bit more realistically. There's no way we'd ever work out." Lincoln didn't say it but he was extremely glad to hear that. "So you're not upset by what Lynn and your grandpa were saying?"

"Clyde, when you live with ten sisters and a crazy grandpa, you've gotta have a thick skin. So no, I'm not really upset about it."

Clyde shrugged. "If you say so."

The two then entered the main room. Lincoln noticed that Rick was uncharacteristically quiet while Lynn was giving him an apologetic look. "Hey Lincoln, I-"

Whatever Lynn was about to say was interrupted by a beeping noise coming from the screen. "Is someone calling us?" Lincoln went over to the screen and pushed a button to answer the call.

Clyde looked at the screen in surprise at who was calling them. "Wild Card Willy?"

Lincoln's eyes widened in realisation. "No that's...Principal Huggins!"

"Louds." Principal Huggins greeted. It may have been the Wild Card Willy outfit he was wearing or the look he was giving them but there seemed to be something sinister about him now. "I've heard rumours of your super scientist grandpa but I never imagined I would one day find myself in a superhero comic!"

"Hey asshole, where's my portal gun?!" Rick shouted.

"Oh you mean this?" Principal Huggins picked up the portal gun from off screen. "Is this what you want? Well too bad! It's mine now! If you want it so bad though, why don't you come and find me?" He laughed before ending the call.

Rick glared at the screen. "That son of a bitch!"

"How are we supposed to find him?" Luna asked.

Lincoln then realised something. "Guys, that place that he was recording from! It's the warehouse from the end of the comic. I know where to find him!"

"Then there's no time to waste." Lori stated. The Full House Gang then made their way to the van, leaving Rick behind.

...

As Lori drove the van, she decided to ask Lincoln. "So, do we have any other superpowers that we don't know about yet?"

Lincoln scratched the back of his head, slightly embarrassed that his excitement had caused him to neglect explaining to his sisters about their powers. "Yeah, I probably should have told you this earlier. I based the Full House Gang off what you guys could already do. So whatever you guys did, the Full House Gang could do better."

Everyone thought about what that would mean for their powers. As Lynn was thinking, her stomach suddenly grumbled. "Ugh."

"Maybe you should have gone before we left, Lynn." Lincoln said.

Lynn waved her hand dismissively. "No way, I never go to the John before a game. That's bad luck."

Lincoln didn't know why but he suddenly felt a chill down his spine upon hearing that. As if what Lynn said was the sign of some incoming cosmic horror. Lincoln shook his head. He was probably just imagining things.

Eventually, the van reached the warehouse. Everyone got out and went inside to see Principal Huggins sat on a chair in the centre of the warehouse, twirling the portal gun around his finger. "So, you figured out where to find me."

"Principal Huggins, why are you doing this?" Lincoln asked.

Principal Huggins chuckled. "You know, at first, I only took your comic to make sure you wouldn't enter the contest. After all, less competition meant that I had a better chance of winning."

Lincoln gave him a surprised look. "You like Ace Savvy?"

"Yes." Principal Huggins admitted. He then started to look downcast. "When I heard how great your comic was, I knew mine wouldn't stand a chance. You see, when I was your age, I didn't have a lot of friends. But I had Ace. Those comics meant the world to me. I wanted to win the contest so I could meet Bill Buck and thank him for getting me through a lonely childhood." Lincoln then saw a crazed look enter his eyes as he stood up and gestured to everything around him. "But this is SO much better! Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd ever actually be in a comic book. If I stayed here, I could be a real life superhero!" He the glared at the Full House Gang. "All I have to do is take all of you out." The Full House Gang went on guard, preparing for whatever Principal Huggins had in store for them. He then looked at the portal gun. "You know, this is truly an amazing device. I had no idea that alternate universes were actually real! And visiting them has certainly given me a good idea of how to defeat you." Suddenly, an army of Wild Card Willys emerged from hiding. "Meet the league of alternate Wild Cards!"

Lana stared at the army in fear. "Lincoln, what are we gonna do?"

Lincoln narrowed his eyes. "It's time to deal out some justice." Lincoln and Clyde then lept into action, fighting back against the AU Wild Cards. Leni and Luna then followed after them. Leni used her sash to tie up and knock them all the down while Luna used her guitar to blast them all back.

Lori then noticed two of the Wild Cards approaching her. After thinking about what Lincoln said, she realised what other powers she had. "STOP!" Both of the Wild Cards froze in fear. "Nice!" She then easily knocked them out with two punches.

Lynn noticed a row of Wild Cards. She then got into a charging position. "Ten hut!" She then charged forward at lightning speed. She then stopped and turned around to see a row of Wild Cards lying on the floor, moaning in pain. "Heh heh."

After noticing a Wild Card approach her, Luan gave him a demented grin. "Hey, wanna hear a joke? What do you get when you cross a power hungry, comic stealing principal with a crazed clown? YOU GET WHAT YOU FRIGGING DESERVE!" She then pulled out an actual gun and fired at the Wild Card.

However, instead of a bullet, all that came out of the gun was a little flag with the word 'BANG!' on it. Luan laughed at the terrified look on the Wild Card's face before getting out an extendible boxing glove to knock his lights out with.

As a Wild Card approached her, Lucy clasped her hands together. "Oh spirits, heed me, I need your help. Help me take down this pathetic whelp!" A ghost then emerged from the ground in front of the Wild Card and screeched in his face, causing him to faint from shock.

As Lana found herself surrounded by a group of Wild Cards, she stuck her fingers in her mouth and blew a whistle. An army of rats then emerged and started climbing onto and biting the Wild Cards, causing them to panic.

Confronting a Wild Card, Lola started to do a ballerina spin before leaping into the air and delivering a round house kick, instantly knocking him out. Meanwhile, Lisa was effortlessly knocking out Wild Cards left and right, using nothing more than a taser. Despite the gang taking out so many of the Wild Cards, there appeared to a never ending supply of them as the group were starting to feel overwhelmed. "There's too many of them!" Clyde called out. "What do we do?"

Everyone then heard a large explosion. They then turned towards a hole in the wall where Rick stepped in, holding a large laser gun. Instead of the butler outfit, he was now wearing his regular outfit. "Hey, I'm Rick Sanchez."

RICK SANCHEZ

"My superpower is that I can do anything but only when I want to."

The Wilds Cards stared at him apprehensively. One of them then spoke up. "What are you all waiting for? Get him!" The Wild Card charged towards Rick, only to get instantly vaporised by his laser gun. The Wild Cards stared in shock for a moment before erupting in a panic, screaming and flailing their arms around, trying to leave the warehouse. Eventually, the only one that was left was the original Huggins who stood frozen in fear at Rick. Rick walked up to Principal Huggins and snatched the portal gun off of him before tearing off the scanner and throwing it to the ground. He then fiddled with the portal gun for a moment before firing a portal which once again sucked everyone into it, making everything go black.

...

Once again, everyone slowly woke up. This time, back in Principal Huggins' office and back in their own clothes. Principal Huggins groaned and rubbed his head before looking up to see the furious face of Rick. Principal Huggins looked at him in fear as he got to his knees and clasped his hands. "P-Please don't hurt me!"

"Hmm." Rick held his chin in thought. "Ok."

Principal Huggins breathed a sigh of relief. "AH!" Rick then fired a portal underneath Principal Huggins, sending him to who knows where.

Lincoln stared at Rick in shock. "What did you do that for?!"

"Because he fucked with me Lincoln! Nobody fucks with me!" Rick snapped. "I wasted a whole afternoon in a comic book thanks to that jackass. Besides, who cares, the guy brought in live frogs for kids to dissect, he clearly had issues."

Lincoln frowned. He couldn't help but feel like the whole incident with Principal Huggins could have gone a lot better. Still, maybe he's alright wherever he is now. Maybe.

"Guys, look!" Luna pointed towards a clock on the wall. "While we were in the comic, time hasn't passed at all!"

"Really?" Lincoln was then struck by inspiration. "Then maybe there's time to make a few adjustments."

...

"Willy, why do you always have to play dirty cards?" Ace Savvy asked as he ripped off Wild Card Willy's handkerchief.

Wild Card Willy gave him a downtrodden look. "I'm not an evil guy. I was just dealt a bad hand. As a lonely kid, the only game I knew was Solitaire."

One-eyed Jack glared at him. "So you think that justifies all the crimes you committed? All those people you hurt?"

Ace Savvy folded his arms. "Sorry, Willy. You may have been dealt a bad hand, but that doesn't give you an excuse to play dirty. I'm afraid you're going away for a long time."

...

The elderly comic book artist, Bill Buck, grinned upon finishing Lincoln's comic. "Heh, I loved the ending! Everything's all about redemption arcs these days. It's refreshing to see something a bit more realistic."

Lincoln, along with his sisters, Clyde and Rick, were standing in Bill Buck's studio. "Let's just say recent events helped inspire that ending."

"You should keep at this Lincoln. I think you've got a real future in the comic industry. I just know it!" Lincoln beamed at Bill Buck's praise.

"Hey, what did you think of the Queen of Diamonds? Wasn't she your favorite part?" Lola asked before she got out a sheet of paper from her bag. "Here! Let me show you some of my ideas for an action figure and a bed sheet set."

The rest of the siblings and Clyde all crowded around Bill, wanting to talk about any possible merchandise while Rick just rolled his eyes. "Whoa! This is kind of a...full house!" Bill Buck joked.

...

Rick returned home with the Loud siblings while Clyde returned to his home. They all went into the living room. "Dudes, I gotta admit, blasting dudes with my guitar was pretty fun." Luna admitted.

"Yeah, I guess after I figured out my powers, the whole superhero thing wasn't so bad." Lori also admitted.

Lincoln grinned. "In that case, I have an idea." He turned to Rick. "Grandpa Rick, do you think you could make real versions of the superhero outfits we had?"

Rick groaned. "Seriously?" Lincoln nodded while the sisters all looked at him expectantly. "You guys know I have literally no reason to do that, right?" Rick's phone then started to ring. He picked it up. "Hello?" Rick then walked off into another room to talk to whoever was on the phone. A few minutes later, he came back in grumbling to himself. "Goddamn Vindicators..." He turned to the kids. "Well, turns out I actually do have a reason to make those outfits now. Whoop de doo." The Loud kids started to cheer while Rick took a sip from his flask. "Ugh. Okay everyone follow me into the garage."

As everyone followed him, Lynn lingered behind for a moment. She stared at Lincoln wistfully as he went off with the rest of his sisters.


	19. Rickall Of Duty

The younger half of the Loud siblings were all downstairs in the living room, doing their own activities. Lucy was reading a book. Lana and Lisa were playing a game of cards. Lily was playing with a teething toy while Lincoln and Lola were watching TV. On the TV was a bald man wearing nothing but cargo shorts and boots as he was running through a jungle. After hiding in a bush, he poked his head out and addressed the viewers. "Now, remember, Rippers, if you want to hunt down critters, use the four D's: Droppings, Disturbances, Dens and Diet." He then continued on before stopping in front of a pile of poop. He took a whiff. "Mmm...emu droppings. And it's still warm. With a little luck and my tracking bandanna." He said as he tied a bandana around his head. "I'll be eating emu stew in no time." He then howled like a wolf.

"Ew! Who is this poop sniffing weirdo?" A disgusted Lola asked.

"Rip Hardcore is not a weirdo, Lola. He happens to be the world's leading expert in wilderness survival." Lincoln explained as he showed her Rip Hardcore's latest book. "And a pretty cool guy to boot." Lola crossed her arms, muttering something to herself about giving someone a boot.

"Lynn Jr, let's go! You're late for Rugby!" Lynn Sr. called out from the bottom of the stairs.

Lynn then came running down the stairs, dressed in her rugby gear. "Think fast, Dad!"

Lynn then threw a rugby ball at her father, knocking him down. "Oof!"

"AWOO!" Lynn hollered as she ran outside to get into the van.

"Lori, Leni, Luna, Luan, hurry up! The school Open House started five minutes ago!" Rita then called out. She didn't get any response. "Ugh, these kids. Where are they?" She then heard honking from the van and looked outside to see all of them were already inside it. "Oh. They're waiting for me."

Lynn Sr. got up as he and Rita started to make their way to the van before he turned to Lincoln. "Thanks for taking care of your little sisters today, Lincoln. You're really helping us out of a jam."

"Wish we knew where Rick was. It really should be his job." Rita remarked before looking at her watch. "We'll be back by 5:00. We are proud of you for being so responsible."

After the parents left, Lincoln's attention was then back on the TV as Rip Hardcore was advertising something. "Hey there, Rippers. My Hardcore Mall Tour is coming to a mall near you. Today, I'll be signing copies of my new survival guide at the Royal Woods Mall."

Lincoln gasped. "Rip is at the Royal Woods Mall today? I gotta go get my book signed!"

A portal then opened up in the living room as a tired looking Rick stepped out of it. "Jesus, you kids won't believe what I've-"

"Grandpa Rick! Could you please give take us to the mall?" Lincoln asked interrupting him.

"Uh, why?"

"Rip Hardcore's there signing copies of his book!" Lincoln explained. "And I've gotta get there quick. If I'm home by 5:00, Mom and Dad won't know that I left."

Rick groaned. "Fine. But you owe me for this Lincoln."

Lincoln turned to his younger sisters. "Who wants to go to the mall?"

...

The siblings got into the cruiser with Rick. Lisa sat up front with Rick while Lincoln sat inbetween the twins with Lucy next to Lola and Lily next to Lana. "So, why aren't we using the portal gun?" Lincoln asked.

"I'm not wasting battery just so you can quickly get an autograph from a guy that probably drinks his own piss." Rick replied.

After Rick turned the engine on, the radio then came on as well. "In other news, police are still on the look out for Royal Woods elementary school principal, Wilbur Huggins, as he has recently been gone missing and-"

Rick turned the radio off. "Hey uh, any tunes you kids wanna listen to? You know, provided it's something I'm willing to listen to?"

"What about Logic?" Lisa suggested.

"Logic?!" Rick grinned. "Holy shit, Lisa, I didn't take you for a fan of Logic."

"On the contrary, I have an affinity for rap." Lisa explained. "I'm more partial to West Coast rap though I can appreciate Logic's work."

"Question, which Logic are we talking about, though? We talking about mixtape Logic or album Logic?"

"Erm..." Lisa seemed caught off guard by Rick's question.

Rick shrugged. "Eh, whatever, let's just put on some Bobby Tarantino shit."

...

Never need to mention, I'm that motherfucker bustin' heads

Finna push it to the ledge

Yeah, I've been smokin' my meds

Ain't got no love for the feds

Can't let fame go to your head

Fuck with me, watch where you tread

I'm finna kill it instead,

I'm finna, I'm finna, I'm finna

As Rick flew the cruiser to the mall, he and Lisa were singing along to the song that Rick had put on. Lincoln winced at the language used in the song. It really felt wrong hearing these kind of lyrics come out of Lisa's mouth. It didn't help that Lana and Lola were giggling every time a swear word came up while Lucy looked like she was trying not to giggle. "Grandpa Rick, I really don't think my younger sisters should be listening to this kind of stuff."

"Don't be such a buzzkill Lincoln. They're just words, they only hurt you if you let them." Rick replied.

"Wait...does that mean we're allowed to swear whenever we're with you?" Lola asked.

Rick shrugged. "Sure. Go nuts."

Lola grinned mischievously. Lincoln gave her a pointed look. "Lola, you really shouldn't be doing that."

Lola turned to him with closed eyes and gave him a polite smile. "Quite frankly my dear Lincoln, I don't give a fuck."

Lana burst out laughing while Lucy couldn't help but giggle. Lincoln rolled his eyes. "You guys remember that Lily can hear all this right?" The three then went silent as they realised Lily was giggling along with them.

At that point, Rick had made it to the mall. However, just as he was parking, the engine suddenly stopped. "What the hell?"

"Is something wrong with the cruiser?" Lana asked before getting out a wrench and spinning it around. "It probably wouldn't take long to fix."

When Rick first met the Loud siblings, it seemed to him that Lisa was the only one that was truly gifted. Her intelligence seemed about on par with him when he was her age. However, after spending some time teaching Lana about his cruiser, he realised she was a lot smarter than she had been given credit for. Not only was she knowledgeable enough about animals that she was able take care of a multitude of exotic pets, she was extremely skilled at working with machinery. She was able to quickly figure out out how they worked and she was able to fix just about anything. It wasn't even that hard to teach her about his cruiser. And all that at only six years old! He wondered how the family never realised this, though he supposed all that was overshadowed by Lana's tendency to eat from the trash and sometimes act like an animal. He also realised he should probably keep more of an eye on Lucy, Lola and Lily. All of them seemed to exhibit behaviour that seemed above their actual age. However, he hasn't told Lana everything about the cruiser yet and if his suspicions were correct, the problem is something she probably wouldn't be able to help with much. "Don't worry about it. I'll deal with it myself, you kids just go have fun at the mall."

Lana shrugged. "Suit yourself." As everyone got out and headed inside the mall, Lana didn't seem to notice Lisa glaring at the back of her head.

...

As they stood in line, Lincoln carried Lily while the other sisters gave Lincoln annoyed looks. "Ugh. Lincoln, this is lame. Can't we go do something fun?" Lana asked.

"Right after we wait in this really short line to get Rip's autograph." Lincoln replied.

"Is the really short line at the end of this really long line?" Lucy snarked as the sisters could see how far the line went.

Meanwhile Scoots, who was in front of them, grumbled to herself. "I ain't waiting for this. Rip's my bae, but nobody keeps Scoots waiting. I'm getting a soft pretzel." She then drove off.

"At least the line's shorter." Lincoln said, giving a pleading smile.

"Forget it, Lincoln. We're done with this line." Lucy stated.

Lincoln then heard a horn tooting and looked to see a train ride nearby. He smirked. "Yes, you are!"

...

"All aboard!" Lincoln said as he handed Lily to Lucy, who was in the train ride along with the other sisters. He then got out a quarter. "It's my treat." He put the quarter into the slot, starting the ride.

The ride didn't do much to entertain the sisters though as all the train did was slowly go around in a circle. "Lincoln, we're bored!" Lola shouted.

"I'm sure it'll get fun eventually!" Lincoln tried to argue before getting out a bunch of quarters. "Why don't we try the 20-ride special?" He poured all the quarters into the slot before running off back in line.

Once he left, Lucy, Lana, Lola and Lisa jumped off the ride. "This is lame. Why don't we go see if Grandpa Rick's still around?" Lana suggested.

"I suppose if Rick is still trying to repair his hovering vehicle, I may be able to offer him some assistance." Lisa stated.

Lana scoffed. "Lisa, I know you're a genius and all but I've been spending a lot of time with Grandpa Rick and that cruiser. No offence but I think I might have a better idea on how to fix it than you do. Grandpa Rick said that I was pretty smart too, you know."

Lisa bristled before quickly calming herself down. "Well...why don't we see for ourselves then?"

Lucy and Lola shrugged at each other before following Lana and Lisa outside. Rick was still there with a section of the cruiser opened, holding some kind of purple container. He then noticed the sisters approach him. "Oh hey, let me guess, Lincoln was making you guys wait in a long ass line for his dumb signature wasn't he?"

"Pretty much." Lola replied.

"What's that?" Lana asked, pointing to the container.

"It's my microverse battery." Rick explained. "There's something wrong with it. We're gonna have to go inside."

"Inside what?"

"The battery, Lana." Rick said as he got out some kind of device attached to the cruiser with a wire. Rick put an arm around the four sisters before activating the device, causing them all to be zapped away.

...

Rick and the Loud sisters reappeared in what looked like some kind of laboratory. "Uh, where are we?" Lola asked.

"Lola, remember eight seconds ago when Lana said, 'Inside what?' And I said, 'The battery'? And then we showed up here, and I wasn't like, 'Whoa, this is unexpected. This is not what I was expecting. What a perplexing mystery this is.'"

"Shut up, Rick, I get it!" Lola snapped.

Rick then looked at an empty pipe. "Huh, this isn't right. This pipe's supposed to be sending twenty terawatts of juice up to the engine. Instead we've got... zero? Now what are these people doing?" Rick then went over to work on the computer.

"Uh, people?" Lana asked.

Rick groaned. "It's time for some hands-on engine repair. All right, kids, hold on to something."

A window then opened up showing some kind of black, rocky surface. The lab then started to rise up, causing the sisters to lose their balance. It turns out the lab was actually a cubed shaped ship that rose out of a volcano with a bunch of pipes sticking into it. The sisters stared out the window in amazement as the ship flew over an alien looking city with a yellow sky. The aliens that lived there had green skin along with elongated heads that had four dark green stripes on them, two at each side. They all had unibrows and their fingertips were also a darker shade of green. "What the heck?!" Lola exclaimed.

"Whoa, I thought you said we we were inside your car battery?" Lana asked.

"We are. Let me explain. I put a spatially tessellated void inside a modified temporal field until a planet developed intelligent life." Rick explained as they flew past a giant statue of Rick. "I then introduced that life to the wonders of electricity, which they now generate on a global scale. And, you know, some of it goes to power my engine and charge my phone and stuff."

"Fascinating!" Lisa remarked.

Lana frowned. "That sounds kinda wrong. Isn't that like...slavery?"

"It's society." Rick stated. "They work for each other, Lana. They pay each other. They buy houses. They get married and make children that replace them when they get too old to make power."

"That still kinda sounds like slavery. With extra steps."

Lisa humphed. "Please, Lana. Surely someone as 'smart' as you should be able to appreciate how Rick has invented something able to provide infinite energy. Though, I could imagine better use for it than charging a vehicle." Lisa muttered the last part to herself.

...

Rick's arrival had caught the attention of the planet's inhabitants as it was currently being covered in the news. "It appears we are being revisited by the alien known as Rick, who once gave our world the gift of gooble box technology," Old footage was then shown of people stomping on the gooble boxes, showing how they work. "Which, when stomped on, generates electricity, powering our homes and businesses, improving our daily lives, while safely removing the dangerous waste power to a special disposal volcano. But why has Rick returned? And what will he say when he hears the big news? Let's find out."

...

Lana looked out the window, seeing the aliens preparing for their arrival. "Guys, don't you think this is kinda wrong?"

"I suppose this is slightly worse than how our society is run." Lucy remarked.

"Relax, Lana, there's nothing immoral about what we're doing." Rick reassured her before getting out a bunch of headbands with antennae on them and handing then to each of the sisters before putting on one himself. "Now slap on these antennae. These people need to think we're aliens." The ship landed in front out of a crowd celebrating their arrival. As the door opened up, Lana was about to step out before Rick stopped her. "Wait for the ramp, Lana." The sisters watched as the ramp slowly came out the ship. "They love the slow ramp. Really gets their dicks hard when they see this ramp just slowly extending down." Rick grinned as the crowd cheered for him, chanting his name. "Greetings!" Rick then flipped the crowd off, earning odd looks from the sisters. "Kids, you got to flip them off. I told them it means 'Peace among worlds'. How hilarious is that?"

Lola giggled before flipping off the crowd, revelling in all the attention they were giving her. Lucy and Lisa showed no reaction as they flipped off the crowd. Lana flipped off the crowd begrudgingly, not finding it as funny as her twin did any more.

Rick then made his way down the ramp with the sisters following after him. "Coming through. five real aliens walking through here."

At the end of the ramp, Rick was greeted by this world's president with open arms. "Rick, our alien friend!"

"Uh, Mr. President, um, couldn't help but notice that you were having problems generating power."

"That's correct!" The President chuckled. "We've evolved. Our most brilliant scientist, Zeep Xanflorp, has developed a source of energy that makes gooble boxes obsolete."

There was a short pause. "I would love to see it." A straining Rick said with his teeth grit together.

"Fuck you."

A furious Rick grabbed the front of the President's jacket. "What did you say to me?!"

"F-Fuck you. Y-You told me it means 'much obliged'.

Rick let go of the President, looking slightly embarrassed. "Oh. Right. Uh, b-blow me."

The President shook his head. "No, no, no. Blow me."

...

The President led the group to Zeep towers and into Zeep's laboratory. "Zeep, you have an honored guest from beyond the stars." He announced.

Zeep looked like the rest of his race. The biggest difference being his bald head and the green robes he wore. He held up a finger to tell the President to wait before speaking into his ear piece. "I said twelve quantum stabilizers, not eleven. Fix it or it's your ass." He turned to face the President. "Chris, I'm in the middle of something."

President Chris gestured to Rick. "Zeep, this is Rick. The alien."

Zeep held his chin, pretending to think about the name. "Rick the alien. Rick the alien..."

Rick scowled. "Really? You're gonna pull that move? I guided your entire civilization. Your people have a holiday named Ricksgiving. They teach kids about me in school!"

"I dropped out of school. It's not a place for smart people."

"Ooh, snap!" Lola laughed.

Rick bristled. "Listen to me, you arrogant little-"

President Chris chuckled nervously. "R-Rick was hoping to see your new energy source. I think he could learn a lot from you, Zeep."

"Fine." Zeep then led the group over to a green container that looked very similar to Rick's microverse battery. "It's hard for people to grasp, but inside that container is an infinite universe with a planet capable of generating massive amounts of power. I call it a miniverse."

Rick coughed. "Dumb name."

"Excuse me?"

Rick cleared his throat. "Nothing. I mean, it's hard for us to comprehend all this. Would it be possible for us to get some kind of tour of your miniverse from the inside?"

Zeep narrowed his eyes. "This isn't a fucking chocolate factory. I don't have time."

"Didn't you say time goes more slowly in the miniverse relative to the real world?" President Chris pointed out.

Zeep gave him a deadpan look. "Yes, Chris. Thanks for reminding me of that. Great President. All right, let's go."

Rick put his arm around Lana, Lola and Lisa. He then noticed Lucy standing away from the rest of them. "You coming, Lucy?"

"You guys go ahead. I want to know more about this world." The idea of an universe existing just to power someone's car definitely gave Lucy some inspiration for her poetry.

Zeep shrugged before pressing a button on a device which teleported the five of them into a ship similar to the one the family first arrived in. "Hold on to something." Zeep flew the ship out of a waterfall with pipes leading into it. "I put an unbounded vacuum inside a temporal field until a world developed. I then introduced the people of this world to the wonders of electricity in the form of a device I call a flooble crank." Rick, Lana, Lola and Lisa stared out the window at the alien city filled with white, featureless aliens that only had eyes, mouths and for some, hair. "What they don't know is that 80% of every crank's energy output gets channeled out of the miniverse to be used by us. No more gooble boxes."

"I got to tell you, Zeep, with no disrespect, I really think what you're doing here is unethical. It's not cool." Rick argued.

Lana gave Rick a confused look. "What?"

"Y-Y-You got the people on this world slaving away making your power. I mean, that's what I call slavery."

Zeep shook his finger. "No, no, no, they work for each other in exchange for money, which they then-"

"Well, that just sounds like slavery with extra steps." Rick argued, interrupting him.

Lana grabbed Rick's arm. "Grandpa Rick, can we talk?" Lana pulled Rick away from Zeep to the rest of her sisters. "I thought you said this stuff was okay? Why is it wrong if he does it."

Lisa tsked. "Lana, can you not see what Grandpa Rick is doing? He's trying to persuade him to close down this miniverse experiment in order to return things to the norm. Surely, you should be intelligent enough to see that." Lisa didn't seem to notice Rick frowning at her.

"But isn't that kinda...hypocritical?" Lana argued.

Rick's eyes widened. "Holy crap, that's it! Hypocrisy. Somewhere on this planet, there's got to be an arrogant scientist prick on the verge of microverse technology, which would threaten to make Zeep's flooble cranks obsolete, forcing Zeep to say microverses are bad, at which point he'll realize what a hypocrite he's being, his people will go back to stomping on their gooble boxes, and everything can go back to normal." A furry, purple, four-eyed alien then walked up to the group, making them jump. "Holy shit!"

The mouth of the alien opened revealing that it was just Zeep in a costume. "It's me. I've convinced the people of this planet that I'm a traveler from another world."

"You don't think that's over doing it a little? I mean, you could achieve the same effect with a pair of-never mind. You know what? I shouldn't be so critical. I'm an alien!"

Zeep rolled his eyes and walked back to the controls. "Places, please. We're about to land."

Like before, the ship landed in front of a crowd as the door opened up and a ramp came out. "Too fast." Rick coughed.

...

It was a long wait but Lincoln eventually made it to the front of the line. "Yes! I'm next!" He cheered as he went inside the book store to meet Rip Hardcore. Upon seeing him, Lincoln started to sweat as he trembled in both excitement and nervousness.

"How's it going, buddy?" Rip greeted from behind a podium. Lincoln gave no response. "I, uh, see you've got a copy of my book there. Would you like me to sign it?" Lincoln still wasn't able to respond, still nervous from meeting Rip Hardcore in person. "I'll just take that." Rip took Lincoln's book and signed 'Your mate, Rip Hardcore" before giving it back. "Rippin' to meet ya."

Lincoln scuttled backwards out of the book store before regaining his nerves and leaning against the wall. He looked at his watch. "Now, I just gotta grab my sisters and get home." Lincoln walked over to the train ride. "Okay, guys, now we can do whatever you...AH!" Lincoln's eyes then widened as the actual train appeared to be missing along with a part of the track. The slot had fried out and none of his sisters were in sight. "Where'd they go?" Lincoln calmed himself down. "Don't panic. You've been in much worse situations than this." Lincoln then opened his book, trying to find the right page as he had an idea come to mind. "How to purify urine...how to build a fire with toenails... Ah! How to track animals in the wild. With a little luck and the Four D's, I'll find my sisters in no time." Lincoln let out a howl as he set out to find his sisters.

...

"And if you continue to turn your flooble cranks, I will bring you other great alien advancements." Zeep announced to the crowd.

As Zeep talked, Rick turned to this world's President. "Hey, uh, let me ask you something."

"Yes?"

"Any of your, uh, scientists working on anything new?"

"All of them. That's their job."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, like, energy-wise. Anyone working on, say, a little universe in a box?"

The President pulled Rick aside to whisper to him. "How do you know about that? It's top secret."

"So remember. A crank a day is not nearly enough." Zeep laughed. "Crank it." He then stuck up two fingers at the audience before turning to Lana. "I told them this means 'Peace among worlds'. How hilarious is that?"

Lana raised an eyebrow. "But it does mean-ugh!" Lana was then given a rough nudge by Lisa.

"I'd advise you not to say anything that could jeopardise Grandpa Rick's plan." Lisa whispered harshly. Lana glared at her in response.

Rick approached Zeep along with the President. "Hey, Zeep, the fake President of your fake world has something fake important to show you."

...

Once again, the group were led to another lab. While Rick and Zeep went over to meet the other scientist that had created his own universe, Lana was still glaring at Lisa. "Geez, what's your problem Lisa, you're being a real jerk today."

"I am simply advising you not to do anything to jeopardise Rick's plans." Lisa argued. "Though I would've thought someone as 'smart' as you would have realised that."

Lana narrowed her eyes. "Ohhh, I see. You're just jealous because there's a chance I could be just as smart as you! Aren't you?"

Lisa scoffed. "Oh please. The idea that you could be anywhere near my intellectual level is laughable coming from someone who eats waste and barely cleanses themself!"

Lola looked between Lana and Lisa, unsure of what to do. She wasn't really used to being the one inbetween an argument. "This is kinda weird. I'm just gonna..." Lola stepped back and decided to leave the lab for a minute while the two argue.

"Yeah, well...so what if I do that stuff? It's fun!" Lana argued.

Lisa chuckled condescendingly. "Lana, you do realise that this isn't considered normal behaviour right? Nor is it considered healthy."

"S-So what? It's not like I ever got sick from it or anything."

"Why do you think that is?" Lisa snapped. "The only reason you haven't come down with any kind of disease is because of me!"

"...huh?"

"I've been keeping tabs on your health to make sure you don't end up poisoning yourself. In fact, you're basically the reason I started my 'poop studies'. How can you call yourself a genius when you can barely take care of yourself?"

Lana scowled at Lisa with tears threatening to come out of her eyes before shoving her. Lisa quickly regained her composure. "Hmph. Typical neanderthal. Responding with violence."

"Lisa, cut the shit already!" Rick suddenly shouted at her.

Lisa gave Rick a surprised look. "Excuse me?"

"Look, I get it. You're jealous because I've been spending more time with Lana than with you. But you gotta put that shit aside for the moment. We're in the middle of something important. This isn't the time for petty arguments." Lisa stared at Rick in disbelief. Rick then grabbed both Lisa and Lana's arms. "Now come on. We're going."

...

The miniverse scientist's ship emerged from an icy mountain. Zeep and Lana stared out the window while Rick gave Zeep a smug look and Lisa stood in the corner, glaring at both Rick and Lana. "It's not much now, but once I learn to accelerate the temporal field, I'll be able to interact with any sentient life that evolves and introduce them to the wonders of electricity via a pulley-based device I call a blooble yank. But what they won't know is-"

"You'll be taking most of their energy." Zeep finished. "Yeah, yeah, yeah. I get it."

"It's showtime." Rick muttered to Lana.

The scientist landed his ship on a cliff in the middle of a jungle, next to a river. Everyone followed him out as Zeep spoke. "You do realize this will make the flooble crank obsolete? This is wrong, Kyle. What you're doing is wrong. You're basically-" Zeep made a disgusted sound. As he talked, Rick mimicked him from behind him. "This is slavery. You're talking about creating a planet of slaves."

Rick shrugged. "Told you, Zeep."

"Oh, they won't be slaves. They'll work for each other and pay each other money." Kyle argued, not really offended by Zeep's accusations.

"That just sounds like slavery with ex...tra...steps." A look of realisation appeared on Zeep's face as he looked at Rick.

"What?"

"Wait a minute." Zeep grabbed Rick's lab coat. "Did you create my universe? Is my universe a miniverse?"

Rick pushed Zeep off him. "Microverse!"

"Uh, teenyverse." Kyle corrected.

Infuriated, Zeep snatched Rick's antennae of off his head. "Ugh! You bastard!"

In return, Rick snatched the head of Zeep's costume. "Much obliged." Zeep then tackled Rick as the two began to brawl.

Lana and Kyle watched the brawl in confusion while Lisa just watched in disbelief after what Rick had just said to her a moment ago. "What the hell is happening?" Kyle asked.

"I believe you're witnessing what some refer to as a petty argument." Lisa answered bitterly.

"You're my battery, motherfucker!" Rick shouted as he punched Zeep. "That's all you are. I made you. Your microverse sucks! And your miniverse is the size of a fucking lobster tank! It's whack!"

"Are they not really aliens?" Kyle asked.

"In a sense, no. They are simply scientists not unlike yourself." Lisa explained.

Kyle pointed at Rick. "So he made a universe," he then pointed at Zeep. "And that guy is from that universe. And that guy made a universe. And that's the universe where I was born. Where my father died. Where I couldn't make time for his funeral because I was working on my universe." A deep frown appeared on Kyle's face.

"That about sums it up." Lisa said.

Lana gave her a pointed look. "Geez, Lisa, why've you gotta be so cold?"

"I'm simply telling the truth. Better to do that then let a lie fester in a vain attempt to spare someone's feelings."

Lana then noticed Kyle walking back into his ship. "Hey, where are you going? Hey, WAIT NO!" Both Lana and Lisa stared in horror as Kyle crashed his ship into the side of a cliff.

Rick and Zeep noticed this and stopped fighting to walk over and look down into the river at the bottom of the canyon along with Lana and Lisa at what was left of the ship. "I...stand corrected." Lisa admitted.

...

A tired Lincoln left the pet store. He was starting to panic as none of his sisters were anywhere he'd thought they'd be. He really hoped they were just hiding from him. They'd have to show up eventually. Or else he'd be in a heap of trouble. He then suddenly jumped to the side as the train suddenly whizzed by. To his relief, he could hear Lily's laughter coming from the train. "Lily! Hang on! I'll save you!" Lincoln went chasing after the train though he was only barely keeping up with it. He then noticed the train pass by Scoots. He stopped to talk to her, an idea coming to mind. "Um, excuse me, Ms. Scoots. Could you give me a ride, please? I need to catch that train."

"Uh, that sounds like a 'you' problem."

Lincoln frowned and got out his book, knowing that this would be the quickest way to get Scoots to help him. "Look, you didn't get an autograph from Rip, right? How about if I give you mine?"

"My bae signed this?" Scoots grinned. "Deal!" She grabbed the book before giving Lincoln a helmet and picking him up to place him behind her on her scooter. "OUTTA THE WAY, MOUTH-BREATHERS!" Scoots shouted as she chased after the train. Eventually, Scoots got close enough that Lincoln was able to jump off the scooter and into one of the cars. He started to make his way to the front of the train where Lily was but before he could reach her, the front of the train seperated from the other cars and started going a different direction. Thinking fast, Lincoln got out his yo-yo and used it as a rope to swing around and into the train. Lincoln grabbed Lily before gasping and ducking as the train crashed into a couple stands before eventually coming to a stop back where the train was supposed to be.

"You okay?" Lincoln asked. Lily simply giggled in response. Lincoln sighed in relief. "Now we've just got to find the rest of our sisters. I just hope they haven't left...or worse..." Lincoln really didn't want to think of the worst case scenario that could happen all because he didn't keep an eye on them.

...

"I need to ask something. In the unlikely chance you found out that your universe only existed to power someone's car, how would that make you feel?" Lucy had her notebook out, prepared to write down any notes.

President Chris thought about it for a moment. "Well, to be totally honest with you, I'd be devastated. I mean, if we only existed to power someone's car, it'd make me feel rather insignificant. Like my life barely meant anything!"

"Mmmhmm." Lucy hummed as she wrote down notes.

...

Eventually, the group found two caves opposite each other at the sides of two cliffs. Rick, Lana and Lisa went in one while Zeep went into the other. All of them had ditched their disguises. Rick glared at Zeep as he was working on something. "Pterodactyl!"

Zeep jumped, causing him to drop what he was working on and Rick to laugh in response. Zeep glared back at him. "Asshole!" Zeep wanted to shout more at Rick but the events of the day had left him tired and it was starting to get dark.

"Don't you think it'd be wise to not aggravate him any further?" Lisa asked.

Rick shrugged. "Hey, I'm not the one that caused that other guy to commit suicide and get us stuck here Lisa, that's kind of on you."

Lisa bristled before making her way out of the cave. "That's it! I'm out. I refuse to stay in this den of hypocrisy any longer."

"Hey, where're you going?" Rick called after her.

"To Zeep. At least he puts his miniverse to good use!"

Lana watched her leave before turning to Rick. "Aren't you gonna say something to her?"

Rick shrugged. "Eh, this is probably for the best anyway."

Lana frowned for a moment before asking. "So what are we gonna do if we make it out of here?"

"Once we get out of here, I'm going to destroy Zeep's dumb miniverse. The microverse will have no choice but to go back to the way things were and everything can go back to normal." Rick explained.

Lana stared at Rick in horror. "That's terrible! You can't do that! You'd kill so many people!"

Rick shrugged. "Yeah well, I need something to power my cruiser, Lana. Unless you've got any better ideas."

Lana thought for a moment. "Why not try to work something out with Zeep?"

Rick frowned. "Fuck no, I'm not working out any kind of deal with that asshole! That's like admitting defeat!"

Lana folded her arms. "Didn't you say something about putting aside jealousy and petty arguments or something?"

Rick groaned. "You gotta use my own words against me huh? Fine. Tomorrow morning, he gets one chance to come up with a better solution."

Meanwhile, Lisa entered Zeep's cave to see Zeep sat cross legged next to a fireplace. He gave Lisa a bitter look. "What do you want?"

"I think I'd find it preferable to stay here rather than with Rick tonight. If you'll allow me that is." Lisa explained.

Zeep shrugged. "Fine." Lisa went to sit next to the fireplace near Zeep. After a moment of silence, Zeep suddenly chocked a sob. "Goddamnit..."

"Um...is something wrong?" Lisa asked apprehensively.

"I just found my whole planet, my entire universe only exists just to power someone's car! My life's a fucking joke! How do you think I feel?"

Lisa sighed. "Yes, I suppose it is an unfortunate situation."

Zeep sniffled. "You know, I always knew something was wrong with all this. Ever since I was a kid, I knew something wasn't right about the way gooble boxes worked." He sighed. "I just wanted to help people. Help improve society, you know? Isn't that what geniuses like me are supposed to do." It's what Zeep always believed though after meeting Rick, he questioned that belief.

"That is a sentiment I agree with. With that in mind, perhaps there's something that could be done to make everyone happy..." After trying to think of something for a moment, it then suddenly occured to her. "Of course! It's so obvious! The miniverse can be used to power the cruiser instead of your universe!"

Zeep raised an eyebrow at her. "So I'm supposed to just give you my miniverse?"

"Perhaps in exchange, you could take this teenyverse." Lisa offered. "Either way, your universe will no longer be used by Rick."

Zeep thought about it for a moment. "Alright deal. I mean, that's if Rick isn't that much of an asshole."

...

The next morning, Rick left his cave along with Lana while Zeep left his cave along with Lisa. Both had neutral expressions on their faces as they approached each other. Once they came face to face, Rick spoke. "All right, I've done some thinking and I've decided that if you can think of anything that's equally as powerful as the microverse to power my cruiser, I'll hear you out."

"As a matter of fact, your...uh..." Zeep glanced at Lisa.

"Granddaughter."

"Your granddaughter had the idea of using the miniverse as a replacement. Is that good enough for you?"

Rick frowned. It was true that the miniverse would be able to replace the microverse though it didn't seem like the most convenient solution to him. "Uh, does that I have to pretend to be you whenever I need to visit? Uh!" Lana elbowed his side. Rick grumbled to himself for a moment. "Fine, deal!" Rick offered his hand for Zeep to shake which Zeep accepted.

...

Lincoln was full on panicking now as he ran around the mall, carrying Lily with him. "Oh no, oh no, oh no!" He had searched every square inch of the mall yet there wasn't a single sign of his sisters. It was official. His sisters weren't in the mall any more. All he could do now was hope that for whatever reason, his sisters were all waiting for him outside the mall. Lincoln panted as he ran outside. He looked around but couldn't see any sign of his sisters. However, he then noticed something else. "Grandpa Rick's cruiser!" He ran towards it. "Why's this still here but Rick's not?" A hopeful smile appeared on his face. "Maybe Rick just took on then on adventure." Lincoln sighed in relief. "Yeah, that makes sense. I've just got to wait here until Grandpa Rick comes back. I mean he's gotta come back eventually...probably...hopefully... You don't mind waiting, do you Lily?" Lincoln then suddenly smelt something. He looked at Lily who simply giggled at him. "Oh, great."

...

Lola stood outside the lab for a minute as she waited for the argument to end. She didn't hear any shouting or arguing for a little bit so she decided to peak her head into the room. Only to see no one in there besides the other scientists. "Hey, where'd they all go?"

...

After they worked their deal out, both Rick and Zeep got to work trying to build some kind of contraption that could take them back to the teenyverse. With Lana and Lisa's help, they eventually managed to build something using some crystals and whatever else they were able to find. Once it was about done, Rick admired their work. "All right, not bad."

"I guess you're an okay proto recombinator." Zeep admitted with a smile.

"I've certainly seen worse ionic cell dioxination."

"If this works, drinks are on me."

"If drinks are on you, you're gonna need a second mortgage on that tower." Rick then whispered. "I'm an alcoholic."

"Opium addict." Zeep whispered back as the two shared a laugh.

Meanwhile, Lisa was talking with Lana. "I'd like to apologise for my earlier behaviour. I may have gone too far."

Lana waved her hand dismissively. "It's fine. Maybe you were right. Maybe I should...stop eating trash. And...I guess I should...take...more...b-baths." Lana was visibly straining to say all of that.

Lisa smiled. "That would certainly make things easier for me."

"Come on kids, we're going now." Rick called out. The two went up to Rick as he started the contraption. It took a moment for it to charge up before it teleported the four back into Kyle's lab.

...

Lola stared at them in shock. "Did you guys just go without me?"

"Oh, hey Lola, I was wondering where you went." Rick said casually.

"Hey, where's Kyle?" One of the scientists asked. He then pointed at Zeep. "And who's that guy?" He didn't seem to recognise Zeep without his costume.

Zeep looked sheepish. He didn't exactly prepare for this moment. "Kyle is...um...gone. So, uh...I'm just gonna take this." Zeep picked up the teenyverse which then caused an alarm to go off.

"He's stealing the teenyverse!"

Rick groaned. "Ah crap. Run!"

The group ran out the lab and away from the security until they reached an oddly shaped stairway. Rick then had an idea. "Everyone, hang on to me!" As soon as everyone grabbed Rick, he shouted. "Go, go Sanchez ski shoes." Rocket powered ski shoes then appeared under Rick's feet. The sisters and Zeep screamed as Rick blasted up the stairway before eventually bursting through the roof and flying towards the ship. Miraculously, they landed without any injuries as they scrambled to get into the ship.

"You know you could've smashed the teenyverse doing that, right?" Zeep asked.

"Just shut up and get us back home!" Rick snapped.

Before the police could reach them, Zeep pressed a button, teleporting the group back into the microverse.

...

Everyone took a moment to catch their breath. "Oh, hey guys. I just finished cooking us a feast." President Chris said as he held a pan.

Next to him, Lucy was wearing a cooking apron that she took off as soon as she saw her siblings and Rick. "You're back."

After catching his breath, Zeep put down the teenyverse before picking up the miniverse and handing it to Rick. "Well, I guess this is yours now."

"Thanks. AHH!" Rick lifted the miniverse up, about to smash it on the floor, causing everyone there to gasp in horror. However, he then started to laugh. "Ha ha! Just kidding! Hey, uh, how about that drink then, huh?"

"You guys realise that Lincoln's probably been waiting for us this whole time, right?" Lucy pointed out.

Rick looked disappointed. "Ah shit. Well, maybe another time."

Rick was about to leave with the sisters before Zeep called out. "Hey." Rick turned to face him. "You've got some smart grandkids."

Rick wasn't sure how to feel about that compliment. "Uhh, thanks."

...

Upon being teleported back to the mall's parking lot, the sisters then all heard a gasp as they were then scooped up into a big hug by Lincoln along with Lily. "You're back! Oh thank goodness! I thought I lost you all!"

Upon Lincoln letting them all down, Lisa gave him a remorseful look. "Oh, sorry, big brother. We should have informed you what we were doing before we took our leave."

Lincoln then gave them a guilty look. "It's okay guys. I never should have dragged you here in the first place. I was supposed to be responsible for you. I'm sorry."

Lana smiled at him. "It's okay, big brother. We forgive you."

Rick removed the microverse from the cruiser before inserting the miniverse. He then stared at the microverse for a moment. "Okay, now the question is what am I supposed to do with this?"

"Perhaps I could take the microverse off your hands. For studying purposes." Lisa offered.

Rick looked unsure. "I don't know Lisa. Owning a universe is a big responsibility. I'm not sure you're ready for it."

"To put it in the most simplest of terms: But I want one though." Lisa argued.

Rick then shrugged. "Alright, fine." He then handed her the microverse.

Lincoln looked at the microverse in confusion. "Uh, could someone please explain to me what that is?"

...

On the ride back home, Lisa stared intensely at the microverse. It's a shame time seemed to go faster in the microverse. She'd like to have the opportunity to converse more with Zeep though it's likely he would pass away in only a couple months. She wondered if Rick still had a time crystal. Perhaps there was a way to slow down the microverse's time.

Meanwhile, next to her, Rick couldn't help but glance at Lisa every now and then as he was driving. He wouldn't admit it out loud but the way Lisa had acted today troubled him. He needed to think of something to put Lisa off acting like that. Maybe if she had a friend or something...


	20. Tiny Rick, Friend Or Faux?

Rick and the Loud siblings were sat in the dining room, eating breakfast before Rick decided to ask. "So, uhh...anything interesting happening at your schools or whatever?" He was looking at Lisa as he asked this.

"Nope." Lori replied.

"Negative." Lisa answered.

Lincoln looked uncomfortable. "Umm...one of the lunch ladies died."

"What!" Lori exclaimed as the older sisters' attention was now on him.

Lincoln scratched the back of his head. "Yeah...they found her in a closet with two holes in her neck and all the blood drained out of her."

Lola winced. "Eww! Who'd do something like that?"

"Obviously a vampire." Rick stated. "W-w-where's the pepper?"

Lori stared at Rick in shock. "Wait, vampires are actually real?!"

"Gasp! I knew it!" Lucy grinned.

"That's impossible! Vampires are just fantasy!" Lynn argued.

"A lot of stuff you think are fantasy are real Lynn." Rick stated. "Vampires, gnomes, unicorns. Hell, there's this one town in Oregon that has tons of that weird shit." He scratched his chin in thought. "Uh, what was it called again? It was something Falls."

Leni raised her hand excitedly. Ooh ooh, I have an idea! Why don't you, like, use your science stuff to turn yourself into a kid so you can hunt down that vampire at the school?"

Rick frowned. "Leni, that's the-" He glanced at Lisa for a moment. "That's a great idea Leni! Oddly specific pitch but hey, nice thinking."

As Rick got up, so did Lucy. "Wait! You can't kill him! All my life, I've dreamed of one day meeting a vampire. This could be my only opportunity!"

"Uh, Lucy, I don't think the kind of vampire that hangs around elementary schools is the kind you want to meet." Rick said before making his way to the garage.

Lucy followed in after him. "Are you sure he's evil? Maybe he's just misunderstood."

Rick turned around, giving her a frustrated look. "Jesus Christ Lucy! If you want to be a vampire so bad, I can make you one myself!"

"...You can do that?"

"Oh yeah, sure." Rick said as he started to search his shelf. "After I figured out the formula for creating a zombie virus, vampirism was pretty easy to figure out." He got out some kind of injector before grabbing Lucy's arm. "Just so you know, sunlight won't actually kill you. It's just somewhat painful and it'll make you feel kinda tired."

"Ow!" Lucy said as Rick gave her the injection.

"Now go to your room and go to bed. By the time you wake up, you'll be a vampire."

Lucy clenched her stomach. "I don't...feel so good."

"Don't worry about it Lucy. That's just your body slowly dying."

"Huh?"

Rick started to push her out of the garage. "Just sleep it off. You'll be fine when you wake up." Once she left and he closed the door behind her, he started to get to work on his other plan.

...

At Lisa's kindergarten class, all the kids were playing around while Lisa herself was working on some chemicals in a corner of the room where she had her science equipment on top of the drawers. Her teacher, Ms. Shrinivas, then clapped her hands to get everyone's attention. "Okay everyone." She spoke in a soft and simple tone. "I have an exciting announcement to make. We have a new student joining us today." The kids started to murmur amongst themselves as Ms. Shrinivas made her way to the door. "Please give a big warm welcome to Rick Loud!"

She opened the door, revealing a four year old version of Rick who stepped into the classroom. "Yo what up! I'm Lisa's cousin! I'm Tiny Rick!" The shock of seeing a four year old version of Rick caused Lisa to drop a test tube she was holding. The chemicals inside it caused a tiny explosion upon hitting the floor.

"Rick, is there anything you'd like to say to the class to introduce yourself?" Mr. Shrinivas asked.

Rick shrugged. "Nah, I'm good. Just go easy on me guys. Ha ha! Just kiddin'! I'm down with, you know, whatever it is four year olds do."

As everyone went back to their activities, Lisa approached Rick. "So, I see you actually transformed yourself into a four year old."

"Well, to be more accurate, I transferred my mind into a younger clone of myself." Rick corrected.

"I see. So what's your plan for dealing with vampire?

"Already dealt with." Rick said, getting out a bloody stake, causing Lisa's eyes to widen before he put it away. "It was the janitor by the way."

"I-I see. I suppose he did look strangely pale. But then why are you in my class?"

"Because Lisa," Rick said as he put an arm around her. "I know how much you've wanted me to teach you something. So I'm here to teach you the most important thing you'll ever know. Nothing will be more important thing then what I'm about to teach you today."

Lisa couldn't help but start getting excited. "Then whatever it is, I assure you I am ready for it!"

"Great!" Rick then looked around the classroom until he spotted a little dark-skinned girl, with short, dark brown hair. She wore a sleeveless cyan shirt with a pink flower on it, yellowish shorts, pink socks, and white, LED light-up sneakers. She was currently drawing something while lying on her stomach with her feet in the air. Rick pointed to her. "Hey uh, you see her?"

"Darcy Helmandollar?"

"Yeah, go make friends with her." Rick ordered as he pushed her towards her.

Lisa turned to Rick. "Apologies Rick but I prefer to see my classmates as co-workers. Or occasionally, test subjects."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Look Lisa, at some point, you're gonna wanna go out there and talk to all these aliens like I do right?" Lisa nodded. "Well, don't you think you need some social skills to do that?"

"I suppose you're correct but..." Lisa suddenly looked shy. "I don't know how to go about making friends."

"Look, don't worry about it, it's simple. Just compliment her, play with her, share stuff and find some common interests. It's that simple. Now go do it!" Rick explained before shoving Lisa towards Darcy again.

Lisa stumbled towards Darcy, getting her attention as she gave Lisa a look of confusion. Lisa took a deep breath to calm her nerves before smiling. "Greetings, Darcy." She pointed to her shoes. "I have observed that your sneakers light up. Though they appear to lack purpose, I would like to compliment you on their whimsy."

Darcy smiled. "Thanks, Lisa." She pointed at Lisa's shoes. "I've always liked your shoes, too. They remind me of my grandpa's." Lisa grinned, relieved that Darcy appeared to be receptive in pursuing friendship.

"Hey, what's going on!" Rick said casually as he approached the two.

Darcy waved at him. "Hi! I'm Darcy. Are you Lisa's cousin?"

"Well to be honest with you Darcy, I'm actually Lisa's grandpa. I just transferred my consciousness into a clone of myself so I could come to this school."

Darcy gave him a confused stare for a moment before giggling. "Your cousin's funny Lisa!"

...

Later that night. Lincoln was struggling to get to sleep so he decided to go downstairs and have a glass of milk to help him get to sleep. However, as he was making his way downstairs, he thought he heard a noise coming from the living room. As he slowly and nervously crept down the stairs, he decided to peak into the living room to see if it was just his imagination. Or something to do with Rick. In the living room, he saw a figure sitting on the couch. Before he could yelp, he quickly realised that it was Lucy there, just sitting in the dark, staring at nothing. He slowly approached her. "L-Lucy?" Lucy turned her head to look at Lincoln before giving him a big, wide open smile, revealing her vampiric fangs with a hiss. "D'AAH!" Lincoln jumped back in fright.

"Isn't this great?" Lucy asked as she got up and slowly approached Lincoln as he stared at her in fear. "Rick's turned me into an actual, real life vampire!" She got up into Lincoln's face. "Greatest! Day! EVER!" She then turned to a vampire bat. She flapped her wings for a second before falling to the floor. She turned back to normal, rubbing her head. "Ow."

"Uh, what was that?" A confused Lincoln asked.

"I...don't know how to fly." Lucy admitted as she got up.

The lights then went on. Both of them turned to see Rick had come in, carrying two glasses of milk. "The hell are you two doing?"

"Grandpa Rick, why did you turn Lucy into a vampire?" Lincoln asked.

Rick shrugged. "Hey, it's what she wanted. I don't judge."

"Uh, Grandpa Rick, how exactly do I fly?" Lucy asked

Rick shrugged. "How should I know? I've never been a vampire. Hey, either of you want some milk?"

"Sure." Lincoln said. Both of them took the milk that Rick had offered them.

As soon as Lucy tasted the milk, she immediately spat it out. "What is this?" Lucy spat.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you. You can't eat or drink anything any more. The only thing you can drink is blood." Rick explained.

"So...you're saying I can't eat chocolate any more?" Lucy asked.

"Yep. 'Fraid not, you're gonna have to-whoa, Lucy are you okay?"

Lucy suddenly had streams of tears running down her face. She quickly wiped them away. "I-I'm fine. I'll l-live."

"Not really. Ha ha." Rick joked.

"Uh, you sure you'll be okay?" Lincoln asked.

"Yes." Lucy then tried to change the subject by asking Rick. "So, what happened to your old body?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "Well if you must know." He gestured for them to follow him into the garage. Upon entering, the two saw Rick's old body, floating naked in a green vat with some diodes attached to his chest and forehead.

"Gross." Lucy remarked.

"So, how exactly is your old body living in there?" Lincoln asked.

"Oh, you know, hyperbaric quantum fluid, that kind of thing. It preserves living tissue." Rick explained. "Not that there was much to preserve. Look at that mummy! Ha! Ha ha!"

"So, when are you gonna go back to normal?" Lincoln then asked.

"When I feel like it."

"Huh?" Lincoln was caught off guard by his somewhat childish response.

"I said when I feel like it. Now if you'll excuse me, it's nap time."

"Nap time?" Lucy repeated.

"Yes, nap time." Rick responded as he opened the door to his room. "Now go away." The door automatically slammed shut behind him. Lincoln and Lucy then glanced at each other in confusion.

...

The next day, during recess, Lisa approached Darcy with a friendly smile as she was about to play on the jungle gym. "Greetings. Would you care to join me in play?"

"Sure." Darcy responded as she got down. "Do you like the seesaw?"

Lisa held her chin in thought. "Can't say I've heard of it, but, uh, what the heck?" Darcy grabbed her hand to pull her over to the seesaw.

"Whee! Isn't this fun?" Darcy squealed as the two rode on the seesaw. Despite looking nervous, Lisa gave Darcy a thumbs up. Lisa then noticed Rick nodding at her while he was passing a ball to someone. "I gotta tinkle." Darcy suddenly announced as she got off the seesaw.

"OOF!" Darcy leaving suddenly caused Lisa to fall to the ground rapidly.

As Rick watched this, a ball then suddenly hit his head. "AH! What the hell asshole?!" Rick's eyes widened as he saw the confused look on the boy he was playing with's face before smiling nervously. "I mean, uh, he he, whoops."

...

Later during lunchtime, Lisa approached Darcy while she was eating a sandwich. "Care to share my homemade kelp leather?" She offered as she placed it on the table. "Full of nutrients, but zero taste, so it goes down smooth."

Darcy swallowed her sandwich bite, looking somewhat unsure. "Um...okay. Thanks, Lisa." She shoved the kelp into her mouth, chewing on it. She had an uneasy look on her face. "It's so...chewy." She grinned, showing bits of kelp stuck in her teeth.

Next to Lisa, Rick then handed Darcy a chocolate bar. "Hey Darcy, why don't you try this? I created it myself. It's literally the most delicious piece of chocolate in the universe."

Darcy took a bite of the chocolate bar before her eyes widened in awe. She dropped the bar, going into some kind of trance. "Aaamaaaazziiiinnng!"

Rick smirked. "See Lisa, you gotta know what to give people. Nobody likes dumb, healthy stuff."

Lisa raised an eyebrow. "Excuse me?"

Darcy then started to giggle. The chocolate seemed to have made hyperactive as she suddenly started running around the room at lightning speed. She then accidentally knocked over the kid that Rick was playing with earlier. "Ah! What the hell asshole!"

"TOBY!" Ms. Shrinivas shrieked.

...

Later on, it was nap time as Rick stumbled towards his cot. "Jesus, finally! Nap time." Rick slumped onto his cot, not even bothering to get under the covers.

Darcy giggled at him as Lisa pushed her cot next to her. "Your cousin's silly Lisa!"

Lisa wasn't as amused as Darcy as she gave Rick a critical look as she got into bed. "Hmm. I hope he hasn't been consuming any alcohol. I doubt his four year old body could handle it."

Darcy tilted her head. "Huh?"

"N-Nevermind." Lisa then noticed what Darcy had brought to bed with her. "Oh! I see we have a common interest in the Giraffa Camelopardalis."

Darcy blinked in confusion before realising she was talking about her plush toy giraffe. "Oh, you mean Rafo. You have a stuffed giraffe, too?"

"N-No, but I have a giraffe cerebrum soaking in formaldehyde."

Darcy giggled. "You use funny words, Lisa." Both of them then laid down and went to sleep.

...

Later on, all the students were sat in a circle around Ms. Shrinivas. "Okay, class, it's sharing time! Who wants to start?"

Darcy raised her hand. "Ooh! Ooh! I have something to share! It's my new friend, Lisa." She gestured to Lisa who smiled in response.

"Great sharing, Darcy." Ms. Shrinivas then whispered to Lisa, giving her a proud look. "And great social skills, Lisa." Rick then raised his hand. "Yes Rick? What would you like to share?"

Rick stood up with a guitar in his hands. "If you wouldn't mind Ms. Shrinivas, I'd like to share a song for the class."

Ms. Shrinivas smiled. "Go ahead Rick."

Rick went to stand in front of the class as he started playing. "All right, everybody. This one's coming straight from the heart. Making the lyrics up right off the top of my head."

Let me out

What you see is not the same person as me

My life's a lie

I'm not who you're looking at

Let me out, set me free

I'm really old; This isn't me

My real body's slowly dyin' in a vat

Is anybody listening'

Can anyone understand?

Stop lookin' at me like that and actually help me

Help me!

Help me; I'm gonna die!

The class slowly clapped for Rick, not really sure what to make of that song. This included Ms. Shrinivas. "Um...thank you Rick, that was um, very nice of you to share with the class."

Lisa looked at Rick in concern. It was obvious to her that something was wrong with him. Darcy then leaned towards her, also looking somewhat unsure. "Is Rick really your grandpa?"

Lisa sighed. "Yes Darcy."

...

As Lisa and Rick walked home together, Lisa spoke. "Grandpa Rick, now that I have successfully learned how to make friends, perhaps now would be a good time to return to your old body."

"Nah." Rick responded.

Lisa frowned. "Why not?"

"I don't wanna."

"So when are you going to do it?"

"I don't know!" Rick snapped. "Maybe I like going to kindergarten. Maybe I like being Tiny Rick!"

"But what if the you that likes it isn't you?" Lisa argued. "I believe that having the body of a four year old is starting to have an effect on your mental state."

"Starting to have an effect on your mental state." Rick mimicked before snickering to himself.

Lisa scowled. "Listen, I believe that when you put your mind into this body's young brain, it did what young brains tend to do. Besides mine of course. It shoved the negative thoughts into the back and built a wall around them. But those negative thoughts are the true Rick. The you that realises the consequences of staying in this body for a prolonged amount of time. So you're trapped in there and you can only come out by doing what most young children do when they're feeling distressed. Acting out!"

Rick stared at Lisa for a moment before he started to laugh. "Lisa, you're being weird. Nobody wants to be friends with someone that's weird." Rick then stormed off while Lisa stared at him in disbelief. She sighed. It'd probably be best to warn her siblings about Rick at the very least.

...

Later that night, Lucy stood on the roof of the house, staring out at the neighborhood. She could barely contain her excitement. Her first night as a vampire. As a prowling creature of the night. All she had to do was find a potential victim and strike. She wondered if blood tasted better as a vampire.

However, after spending around an hour searching through the streets, she came to a realisation. Royal Woods was a relatively quiet town. It was a town where pretty much everyone went to sleep as soon as it was night time. Due to this, the streets were pretty much empty. "Sigh. This is...so boring." Lucy admitted to herself. She might be able to find someone if she ventured out the neighborhood but she didn't in case she ended up getting lost and couldn't find her way back home. Lucy was left alone with her thoughts and after thinking about it for a while, she started to feel uncomfortable with trying to suck someone's blood. Not only was she scared about potentially killing them but the idea of hurting someone like that at all was starting to make her feel bad.

"Sigh..." Lucy sighed in disappointment. What she thought would be an exciting night turned out to be boring and somewhat lonely for her.

...

The next day, after observing Rick for a while, Lisa had realised he was slowly getting worse as he was starting to act more and more childish. Unfortunately, there wasn't much she could do right now as she had already told her siblings the problem. All she could really do in kindergarten was keep an eye on him. She sighed as she got up onto her stool in her usual corner. "Well at least now, I can return to my beloved research." She hugged her equipment. "Have you missed me, electron microscope?"

"Hi new friend!"

Lisa's eyes widened before turning to Darcy. "Oh, uh...right. Greetings, Darcy."

Darcy grabbed two of Lisa's beakers filled with some kind of chemicals. "Are we playing scientist today? You always make it look so fun."

Upon seeing Darcy about to mix the chemicals, Lisa yelped and grabbed them off her, putting them to the side. "This isn't really playing. It's complex and potentially dangerous research." Darcy gave her a confused look. "Uh...maybe we can engage in play later."

Darcy smiled. "Oh, okay." She started to walk away. "I'll save you a spot on the seesaw at recess!"

Lisa frowned to herself. She hadn't considered that Darcy might have wished to remain friends after she had achieved her objective. "Lisa! Lisa!" Darcy shouted from her table, waving at her. Upon getting Lisa's attention, she showed Lisa a drawing that she made of herself and Lisa together. Lisa sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose in response.

Meanwhile, Rick was currently being admonished by Ms. Shrinivas. "Rick, why did you push over Petey?"

Rick scowled. "Because I wanted to go tinkle and you wouldn't let me out! Why won't you let me out?"

Ms. Shrivinas sighed. "Rick, you've already been three times today. Is there something wrong Rick?"

"What's wrong is that you won't let me tinkle! If you don't let me out, I'm gonna die!"

Ms. Shrinivas gave Rick a stern look. "Sorry Rick, but I'm afraid you're going to have to sit in time out and think about what you've done." Rick grumbled to himself as he went over to sit on the stool in the corner of the room.

...

Instead of sleeping in, Lucy had arrived at school and was currently in a meeting with the morticians club in their club room which currently had the curtains closed per Lucy's request. Just like Rick said, being out in the sunlight made her feel weak and fatigued. She felt like a slight breeze would be enough to knock her down and it didn't help that she didn't get much sleep last night. Nor does it help that she felt really hungry. Along with Haiku and Rocky, the morticians club had a short, chubby girl in a violet dress, a tall boy wearing thick black glasses and a dark blue cape, a tall girl with braces, wearing a dark blue victorian dress and strangely enough, a tall boy resembling Nosferatu, wearing a white apothecary robe. He was currently holding a keyboard.

The President of the club was a short boy with a big head, wearing a black suit with a red collar over a white shirt. He stood behind a podium resembling a grave as he smacked a skull gavel on it. "Now that we have sorted out the details for poor Lunch lady Betty's funeral, I believe Lucy has something she wanted to announce..." He gave the boy resembling Nosferatu an annoyed look before clearing his throat. "Ahem, Boris." Boris then played a tune on his keyboard which he had sound like an organ.

The club president moved to let Lucy stand behind the podium. "Thank you Bertrand." As soon as Bertrand sat down, Lucy let out a hiss, exposing her fangs.

The club members all gasped. "Are those real?" Betrand asked. Lucy nodded in response, causing another gasp from the group.

"But how?" The tall boy asked. He then gasped. "Wait. Lunch Lady Betty! Did you..."

Lucy shook her head and waved her hands. "No no Morpheus. That was the janitor. My grandpa's the one that did this."

The tall girl tilted her head. "Your grandpa?"

"Her grandpa's a scientist who can do basically anything." Haiku explained.

"Me and Haiku went to one of his parties. The whole house ended up teleporting to another dimension." Rocky added.

The rest of the club gave the two bewildered looks. "...I see." Betrand finally said.

Lucy stepped down from the podium, smiling. "So Rocky, what do you think?"

Rocky scratched the back of his head. "That's cool...I guess. But are you okay Lucy? You don't look right."

Lucy frowned. It seemed like her fatigue was noticeable. "The sun kinda makes me feel tired. I also haven't had any blood since I became a vampire. Speaking of that, could any of you guys please let me have some blood? I'm really hungry."

The club members nervously glanced at each other before Haiku sighed and stepped forward, raising her arm. "I suppose I can let you take some of mine. AH!" Suddenly, Lucy lunged forward like a wild animal, biting deep into Haiku's arm. "GET OFF! GET OFF!" Haiku screamed, though Lucy still wouldn't let go. The club members then got involved try to pull Lucy and Haiku away from one another.

Lucy then came to her senses and let go, causing Haiku and the club members holding onto her to fly backwards. Lucy stared in horror as a terrified Haiku cradled her bloody arm while the other members stared at Lucy in fear. "I-I'm so sorry! I-I-I didn't mean to do that! I couldn't control myself!"

"Rocky! Take Haiku to the nurse's office as quickly as possible!" Bertrand ordered. Rocky nodded and put an arm around Haiku as the two quickly left the club room.

Lucy hung her head low. "I'm really sorry. I don't know what came over me."

"You went into a frenzy!" Boris suddenly exclaimed with a raspy voice.

Lucy and the other members gave Boris confused looks. "Huh?"

"When vampires don't get enough blood, they go into a frenzy. That's when the beast inside them takes over and it won't stop until they get their blood." Boris explained.

Morpheus gave Boris a suspicious look. "How do you know so much about this Boris?"

Boris' eyes darted back and forth nervously. "I...read it in a book once." He looked at Lucy. "Be careful Lucy. If you don't drink enough blood, you risk losing your humanity altogether!"

Lucy stared at Boris in horror before coming to a realisation. "This was a mistake. I need to go back to normal!" She then ran out of the club room.

"You might want to wipe the blood from your mouth! Bertrand called out after her.

...

It was almost the end of the school day. Before it ended, Lisa decided to do another experiment with her chemicals. "And now, to add a single drop of the concentrated acid..." She said to herself as she was about to poor the beaker filled with acid into a small dish.

"Hi, friend!" Darcy sang.

"YIE!" Lisa jumped, almost dropping the beaker.

"I made you something in craft time." Lisa watched as Darcy got out what looked to her like string with a bunch of paper hearts tied onto it as she wrapped it around her wrist.

Lisa gave it a confused look. "What is this bizarre shackle?"

"A friendship bracelet. I can show you how to make one for me too, and then we can be bracelet twins!" Darcy said excitedly.

Lisa sighed, putting down her beaker. "Darcy, I'm afraid I'm not going to be able to make one of these."

"I know it looks hard, but I can help you." Darcy assured her.

Lisa shook her head. "No-no-no-no. See, you're a great kid, but my lifestyle isn't really conducive to having friends. To be perfectly frank, I sought you out to impress my grandpa and prove to him that I have social skills. Now that that objective has been achieved, I feel it would be best for both of us if we went our separate ways." Lisa took off the friendship bracelet and handed it back to Darcy. Darcy stared at the bracelet with a look of utter heartbreak as her lips started to tremble. "I do appreciate your assistance though and if you ever need a reference for another friend, I would be glad to give you a glowing recommendation." Darcy closed her eyes and whimpered, clutching the bracelet to her chest. Lisa realised something was wrong. "What's wrong? Did some of the concentrated acid get in your eye?"

"NO!" Darcy snapped with tears in her eyes. "YOU HURT MY FEELINGS!" She then started to cry before running off.

Lisa winced, feeling a pang of guilt from Darcy's reaction. "Oh dear..."

As Darcy ran, she didn't look where she was going before crashing into Rick. "Oof!" As the two got up, Rick seemed more concerned with Darcy than upset. "Whoa! Hey, what's up with you?"

"Lisa..." Darcy sniffled, pointing towards her. "Said she didn't want to be my friend anymore." Darcy then hugged Rick, crying into his shoulder.

Rick awkwardly patted her back while glaring at Lisa, who was watching the exchange. He then lightly pushed Darcy off of him. "Well you know what Darcy? I'll be your friend."

Darcy sniffled before giving him a light smile. "R-Really?"

Rick grinned. "Hell yeah! Hey why don't you come over to my house? You like giraffes? I know all about them."

Lisa watched in disbelief as Rick and Darcy went off with each other. Despite feeling that there wasn't any real point to friendship, she still couldn't help but feel both ashamed and regretful for what she just did.

...

Upon entering his garage along with Darcy, Rick found himself face to face with both Lincoln and Lucy. Both of them were glaring at him with their arms folded. "Uh, what are you doing in my garage?" He asked.

"Rick, you need to change me back to normal." Lucy ordered. "Being a vampire is the worst and I feel stupid for asking for it in the first place. You HAVE to change me back!"

Rick rolled his eyes. "Ugh. I'll do it later. I'm playing with my friend right now so can you two just go away?" Rick gestured to Darcy, who was watching the argument with a confused expression, not really understanding what was going on.

Lisa growled before Lincoln held up his hand. "Rick, Lisa's told us about what was happening. You need to go back into your own body. Before you start thinking that you're actually four."

"It's just me in a younger body!" Rick argued. "What's the big deal?"

"Well, Lisa also showed us this." Lincoln then got out a crude drawing that Rick made of his normal self reaching his hand out which was titled 'Help me Lisa!'

Rick shrugged. "So what? It's just a drawing. Geez, why are you bugging me?"

"Because we're trying to help you." Lincoln stated. "We know the real Rick is in there. And if you're gonna act like a four year old then we're gonna treat you like one. Now tell us how to put you back in your body or we'll both turn you into a human pretzel!"

Rick scowled at the two before noticing an axe nearby. He quickly ran over to it and picked it up. "You can't put me back if my old body's dead!" He laughed. However Lucy quickly swooped in and wrestled the axe off of him before Lincoln tackled him, trying to restrain him. "Argh! Get off!"

"EEP!" Darcy yelped before running out of the garage, not wanting to get caught in the fight.

She ran into the living room where she noticed a downcast Lisa sat on the couch. Lisa didn't seem to notice her as she seemed lost in her own thoughts. Lisa didn't look very happy to Darcy. She said that she didn't want to be friends with her anymore but what if she changed her mind? She decided to approach her. "Lisa?" Lisa looked at her in surprise. Darcy awkwardly looked away, kicking one of her legs idly back and forth with her hands behind her back. "I thought you might like this." She handed Lisa a cookie.

"W-why are you giving this to me?" Lisa asked.

"You looked sad...I wanted to make you feel better."

Considering what Lisa had done to her, she didn't expect that response. "But, why would you want to make me feel better?"

Darcy smiled. "Because that's what friends do for each other."

Lisa's mouth gaped for a moment before echoing what Darcy had just said, having reached an epithany. "Because that's what friends do for each other..." She then smiled at Darcy before breaking the cookie in half and handing it to her. "Thank you Darcy. Card to join me?" She patted the seat next to her. Darcy grinned as she jumped onto to couch and sat right next to Lisa as the two bit into their cookie halves. "Hey, you wanna play with my CAT scan machine later on?"

"We have a kitty, too!" Darcy exclaimed before hugging Lisa. "CAT TWINS!"

Lisa had realised what the point of having friends was. It wasn't to impress people or be able to communicate with a bunch of aliens. It was because friends were there to make your life better. To help you feel better whenever you're feeling down. She briefly wondered if this was something Rick himself knew. Speaking of Rick, she then heard some banging and shouting coming from the garage. "Ah. I had forgotten about our Rick problem."

"How come your grandpa's a kid again?" Darcy asked.

Lisa sighed. "It's complicated. Problem is that he's mentally regressing into a misbehaving child and he's refusing to turn back."

"Hmm." Darcy thought for a moment. "Ooh! I know!"

...

Lincoln had successfully restrained Rick as he had his arms wrapped around his whole body, rendering him unable to move his arms. An angry Lucy was up in his face, baring her fangs. "If you don't tell us how to put you back in your own body, I'm going to use you as my own personal blood bank!" Rick blew a raspberry in response, causing Lucy to slump. "Sigh. What do we do Lincoln? Nothing's working."

"Hi!" Darcy exclaimed as she entered the garage along with Lisa.

After spotting Rick's portal gun, Lisa went over and picked it up. This angered Rick. "Hey, what are you doing with that?"

"Apologies Rick but due to your recent poor behaviour, I have no choice but to confiscate your portal gun." Lisa explained.

"What?! No, that's mine! Give it back!"

"I'm afraid this belongs to me now."

Rick started to get distressed. "Aw come on! You can't do that! Please give it back!"

"I'll only give it back if you tell us how to put your conscience back in your old body." Lisa stated.

"And you promise to behave." Darcy added with a smile.

Rick groaned. "Ugh, fine. Okay, listen carefully. There's a set of diodes on the vat's control panel, a blue one and a red one. This is so unfair. I need you to connect the blue one to my left temple and the red one to-ugh why are you guys so mean to me?"

"Focus Grandpa!" Lucy snapped.

"Just put the stupid wires on my head! I hate being a kid!"

After he finished explaining, the siblings had Rick sat on a chair with the diodes connected to his head. Lisa typed in the instructions on the control panel which caused Rick's tiny body to shake as his eyes rolled into the back of his head before he went limp. The vat containing Rick's real body then opened up, letting out all the water and dropping Rick to the ground, coughing out the water.

"Rick!" Lisa shouted as she helped him stand up.

"Pants!" Lincoln yelped, covering his eyes.

The others also looked away in disgust apart from Darcy, who was giggling. "Your grandpa's naked!"

"Holy shit!" Rick gasped. "Thanks kids. You figured it out. Jesus, was I really that much of a little shit when I was four?"

"Please put some pants on." Lucy begged. "Also does this mean you'll turn me back to normal now?"

"I will." Rick promised. "Just after I do this one thing." He pressed a button on his laptop which caused the floor to suddenly lower down into an underground lab. "Operation Phoenix is not the fallback I thought it would be."

The kids looked around in surprise. "You have an underground lab?" Lincoln asked.

"Yep." Rick answered plainly. In the lab was five more vats, four of them containing bodies of Rick at varying ages. Rick picked up his axe. "I guess it's back to the drawing board."

Lisa's eyes widened, realising what Rick was about to do. "Darcy look behind you! There's a bug!"

Darcy gasped and turned around. "Where!"

She turned to around just in time as Rick started to chop his clones into bloody pieces, laughing away as he did so. Both Lincoln and Lucy watched in horror and disgust.

"Oh my God!" Lincoln exclaimed before putting a hand over his mouth, feeling like puking.

Lucy wasn't quite as disturbed though she still found her naked grandfather covered in blood rather disgusting. "Eugh! Couldn't you at least put some pants on first?"

"Lisa, what's going on? I don't see any bug." Darcy asked.

"Nothing Darcy! Just keep looking this way!" Lisa had her hands on Darcy's shoulders, stopping her from turning around.

"Grandpa's back baby!" Rick exclaimed triumphantly.


	21. Interdimensional Cable 2: Along Came A Sister

Lincoln, along with all the other students in his class, were standing around a tank with a spider in it, all trying to get its attention. "Hey, Frank! Over here, buddy!" Lincoln tried shouting over everyone else to get the spider's attention.

"Now, before we pack up, I need a volunteer to look after Frank this weekend while I'm out of town." Mrs. Johnson explained.

Everyone turned to Mrs. Johnson and started shouting and waving their hands, trying to get her to pick them. "Come on, please, Mrs. Johnson! Me! Me!" Lincoln shouted.

"Lincoln."

"Yes!" Lincoln pumped his fists while the rest of the class groaned in disappointment.

"Now, Lincoln, this is a major responsibility. Frank needs to be fed twice and under no circumstances should he be let out of his cage." Mrs. Johnson explained. She then smiled as she leaned against her desk. "Unlike me this weekend..." She chuckled.

The kids all awkwardly glanced at one another before the school bell rang. As everyone then quickly left, Lincoln picked up the tank. "Well, see ya Monday, Mrs. Johnson."

...

Lincoln carried the tank as he walked home alongside both Clyde and Ronnie Anne. "This is gonna be the best weekend ever!" Lincoln exclaimed.

"I'm not sure your sister, Leni, will think so." Clyde argued. "Remember last Halloween?" The previous Halloween, Clyde had come to the Loud house dressed as a spider. Upon opening the door to Clyde, Leni responded to him by screaming, spraying bug spray everywhere and running out of the house, trampling Clyde in the process. "She hid in her room for three weeks."

Lincoln stopped walking for a moment. "If I had to worry about my sisters every time I wanted to do something, I'd never do anything. Besides, I have a plan. Stealth mode."

"Now, I'm worried." Clyde remarked.

As they continued walking, Ronnie Anne sighed in disappointment as she stared at Frank. "This sucks. I really wanted to take Frank home."

"Yeah. Me too." Clyde admitted. His face then brightened up. "Say, Lincoln. You don't mind if we hang around your place for a while right?" Both he and Ronnie Anne looked at Lincoln expectantly.

"Um...that's fine...I guess." Lincoln said hesitantly. While he had nothing against Clyde visiting, he was a little unsure about bringing back Ronnie Anne. She wasn't exactly the careful type and her recklessness might endanger Frank. Thinking about it, he wasn't sure where he stood with Ronnie Anne these days. After the Valentines day incident, he was suddenly all for being in a relationship with her. Him being teased for it felt extremely insignificant compared to what had happened. Since then though, neither were really sure how to go about this as neither of them had been in this kind of relationship before. With how much Ronnie Anne hated mushy stuff, they mostly just treated each other like friends. Though that wasn't Lincoln's only problem. He was also still somewhat intimidated by her. He didn't tell Ronnie Anne any of this though, in case he ended up upsetting or angering her.

Upon reaching Lincoln's home, he and Clyde quietly crept upstairs while Ronnie Anne glanced at the living room out of curiosity. Rick was lazily lying on the couch, watching TV. Strangely, the TV was showing an arena where a man with a green mohawk and wearing wrestling gear was staring down a car in the background while two commentators were addressing the audience. Their names appeared to be Michael McLick and Randy Dicknose. "Man vs. Car." Randy announced. "The newest hit show where it pits a man" It cut to the man flexing for the camera in a gym. "vs. a car." It then cut to the car in a garage, beeping. "Tonight's episode Jenkins fights... a regular old car. Here we go." It then transitioned back to the arena where Jenkins was attempting to punch and grapple the car with very little affect. "Here we go. He's pushin' his way through, he's trying to fight that car. The car seems to have the upper hand-Oh, he just got some push-back there." The car then ran over the man. It's tires ripping him apart. "Oh, he just got ran over and chewed up by the tires." It then cut back to the commentators. "I guess that's another one for the car." Randy then started laughing before muttering to himself. "I mean, wouldn't the cars always win...?"

Rick chuckled to himself while Ronnie Anne stared at the TV in confusion. "That's weird..." She then shook her head and followed Lincoln and Clyde upstairs.

"There you go, buddy." Lincoln said as he placed the tank on his drawers.

At that moment, Ronnie Anne entered the room. "Dude, your grandpa watches some hardcore stuff. I just saw him watch a show with a guy wrestling a car!"

Clyde raised an eyebrow. "A guy wrestling a car? What kinda show is that?"

"Dunno, but the car totally mauled that guy!" Ronnie Anne explained. Clyde winced in response.

Lincoln sighed. "Grandpa Rick installed this cable that could air any show in the multiverse so that's probably where it came from."

Clyde and Ronnie Anne stared at Lincoln in disbelief. "That sounds awesome! How come you never told us about that?" Ronnie Anne asked.

Lincoln shrugged. "It was kinda funny when he first got it but after a while, it started to get kinda boring."

Ronnie Anne then noticed Frank and started to get a closer look at him before Lincoln stepped in front of her. "Uh, maybe we should give Frank some space for a while."

"Why?"

Lincoln was looking nervous. "Um..."

Lincoln was then interrupted (to his relief) by someone knocking on the door. Lana came in, holding one of Lola's dolls. "Can I borrow the big kid scissors?" She then gasped as she noticed Frank. "Hey, what's that?" She pushed past Lincoln to give the spider a closer look. "Oh-ho! He's so creepy! Can I play with him? Can I?"

Lincoln waved his hands. "No, no. Frank stays in the cage."

"Tank." Clyde corrected.

"Right." Lincoln then frowned. "Wait, then why did Mrs. Johnson call it a-" He shook his head. "Never mind. Point is, he's staying in."

"Aw..." Lana moaned.

An angry Lola then entered the room. "Lana, give me back my dolly!" She then gasped and squealed at the site of the spider. "He's so adorable!"

Both of the twins then turned to Lincoln and asked. "Has Leni seen this?"

Lincoln frowned. "No. And we want to keep it that way, don't we? So, shh."

Lisa then entered the room. "Excuse me, some of us are trying to solve for Y." She then gasped upon noticing Frank. "Is that an Aphonopelma chalcodes?"

"Uh...it's a tarantula." Lincoln explained. "My class calls him Frank."

Lisa went to give the spider a closer look, along with the twins. "Fascinating specimen." She turned to Lincoln. "Has Leni seen this?"

"No! That's why I'm trying to keep him a..."

...

A couple minutes later, all of his sisters apart from Leni were standing around the tank, ogling the spider. Lincoln slumped. "...secret."

"Has Leni seen it?" Luna asked.

"Guys, for the last time! Leni's not gonna see-"

"See what?" Leni asked as she opened the door.

Everyone quickly jumped in front of the tank, hiding the spider from her view. "NOTHING!"

Leni then gasped before grinning. "Oh my gosh! Are you planning a surprise party for me?! Wait! Don't tell me. I wanna be surprised."

Leni then shut the door, causing everyone to sigh in relief. "That was close." Lori remarked.

"You think it might help if there was something to distract Leni or something?" Clyde suggested.

Lori clicked her fingers. "I've an idea."

...

"Lori, what's going on?" Leni asked as Lori brought her into the living room.

"Me and the others are a little busy upstairs so we're going to need you downstairs for now." Lori explained.

Leni gasped. "Is this part of the surprise party?"

"Uh. Maybe." Lori lied. Leni squealed in response. Lori then had Leni sat next to Rick before she went over to whisper to him. "There's a spider in the house so we need you to distract Leni for a while."

Rick groaned and grumbled to himself, knowing Lori wouldn't take no for an answer. As Lori went back upstairs, Leni asked. "Hey, what's this?"

On TV was an alien that looked like the same species as Mr. Poopybutthole. He had long, stretchy arms and was wearing an orange jacket with lots of pockets on it. He was in some kind of office. "Hey, I'm Stealy. Follow me on my adventure through this office." The title 'The Adventures Of Stealy' then came up along with a jingle. Stealy was then shown walking around the office, stealing office equipment. "Alright, here we go. We're gonna just steal a couple of things."

He then entered another room where a business man was doing some work. "Excuse me. Can I help you?"

Stealy ignored him as he kept stealing some stuff. "Starting with common office objects."

"Hey, hey, hey! That's my stuff!"

"Such as staplers and pins and all sorts of things like-such as that."

The business man stood up and picked up his phone. "That's it. I'm calling security."

Stealy then quickly used chloroform to knock the man out before stealing him as well. It then transitioned to Stealy walking down the street while carrying the man with his jingle playing before cutting to Stealy in his safe room, full of stolen items. He is stood in front of a table. "All right, ok, we're in the quiet safe room where none of the people whose stuff I stole can get to us. Now, let's look at all the stuff we got." He got out a bag of chips and placed them on the table. "We got a bag of Bobbish. That's eight brapples." He then got out some kind of flesh looking object. "We got a plumbus. That's six and a half brapples." He then got out a couple crushed party cups. "We got, uh, a-crushed party cups. Fifteen and a half brapples."

Leni stared at the TV in confusion. "Um, like, what's a plumbus?"

"Huh. Never had to explain what a plumbus is before. Here, let me see if I can find something on here about it." Rick said before flipping through channels.

He soon found a show that was talking about plumbuses. "Today on 'How they do it'... Plumbuses." The narrator spoke as a plumbus was shown on screen. It then showed videos of plumbuses in people's houses. "Everyone has a plumbus in their home." It then cut to aliens in a factory making the plumbus. The narrator explained how it was done though Leni was struggling to follow what was happening onscreen. "First, they take the dinglebop and they smooth it out with a bunch of schleem. The schleem is then repurposed for later batches. They take the dinglebop and they push it through the grumbo, where the fleeb is rubbed against it. It's important that the fleeb is rubbed because the fleeb has all of the fleeb juice. Then a schlami shows up and he rubs it and spits on it. They cut the fleeb. There's several hizards in the way. The blamfs rub against the chumbles. And the ploobis and grumbo are shaved away. That leaves you with a regular, old plumbus."

"I always wondered how, uh, plumbuses got made." Rick remarked.

...

As Lori came back into Lincoln's room, everyone looked at her expectantly. "Rick's going to keep her busy for a while."

Lincoln sighed in relief. "That takes care of that at least." He turned back towards Frank. "Frank?" His eyes then widened as Frank was no where in site. He started to search around his drawers. "Frank? Where'd you go? Frank, come out! This isn't funny!" He turned to Ronnie Anne. "Ronnie Anne, what did you do with Frank?"

Ronnie Anne gave Lincoln an offended look. "Me? I didn't do anything!"

Clyde rubbed his arm sheepishly. "Sorry, Lincoln. He looked a little sluggish so I thought he'd like to stretch his legs for a minute." He facepalmed. "Knew I shouldn't have taken my eyes off him."

Lincoln started to panic as his sisters all rambled amongst themselves about both Clyde's blunder and where Frank might have gone. "Oh crud. Guys, we've gotta find him!"

After searching around Lincoln's room for a minute, everyone then spread out around the house, trying to find Frank. Upon entering the living room, it didn't take too long for Lincoln to find Frank. He gasped upon seeing the spider perfectly still on the back of Leni's neck. Unsure of what to do, he just stood there and watched her as she and Rick were now watching some kind of comedy show where a comedian was on stage in some kind of club. "Welcome back to 'funny songs'. It's all improvised. It's very funny. I need a volunteer from the audience."

A man raised his hand. The spotline shone on him as someone came to give him a microphone. He stood up. "Um, longtime fan of the show. Uh-"

"What do you do? What is your profession?" The comedian interrupted.

"I am a tax attorney."

"Okay, here we go. Hit-hit the music." As the music played, the comedian then started dancing and singing poorly as the audience laughed in response.

I'm a tax attorney oh, geez, oh

Forget about everybody else,

Forget about Jesus Christ,

Forget about Muhammed,

Forget about...all those religions!

Ba da ba ba da ba bop! The end.

"Oh man. Oh, that was so-so funny. Thank you." The man said as the audience applauded.

"You're welcome." The comedian then frowned as he looked to the side. "Hey, um, security guards, take him out. Get him out of here."

"What?" The man asked as two bodyguards grabbed him.

"Get the orthodontist out of here."

"No! Why?!" One of the bodyguards then punched him in the face.

"Take him out of the audience. Kill him." The comedian ordered as the bodyguards started beating on the man. "Sick him." A wolf then ran in and started attacking the man. "Demons, suck his life out." Two demon spirits appeared to do just that. "I don't give a shit."

By now, the rest of the siblings, along with Clyde and Ronnie Anne, had joined Lincoln in staring at Frank, unsure of what to do. "I'm gonna go make a smoothie." Leni suddenly announced. Rick gave a neutral grunt in response as Leni stood up and turned around to come face to face with everyone's nervous faces. "What's going on?" She then gasped. "Oh right! My surprise party!" She gave them a wink. "Don't worry. I won't tell me!" She continued making her way to the kitchen as everyone followed after her. Leni then turned to face them. "See? I know nothing. Just making a smoothie." She turned around and opened the fridge. Everyone then noticed the spider was missing from Leni's back and started muttering to themselves about where the spider could have gone. After putting the ingredients into the blender, Leni then remembered. "Oh, I need milk."

She opened the fridge again. Everyone then gasped as Frank was on top of the milk. Lisa then ran forward and slammed the fridge shut. "Wait! You're lactose intolerant!"

"No, I'm not. I'm tolerant of everyone, whether they lack toes or not." Leni said honestly before opening the fridge again.

"NOOOO!" Everyone screamed before they noticed the spider was no longer on the milk. "Huh?" Everyone sighed in relief as Leni poured the milk into the blender.

"Eee, pider!" Lily mumbled before everyone noticed the spider scurrying across the floor. Luna quickly got a pot and trapped Frank under it. After she finished blending her smoothie, Leni turned around to see what was going on. Lily waddled over to the pot and started banging a wooden spoon on it as she and Luna then pretended to have a jam session. Leni bought it as she started to tap her feet to the beat.

"So, who wants to try my new recipe?" Leni asked as Luna picked up the pot, only to find that Frank had somehow escaped. "It's curds and..." Leni took a sip while Lincoln looked up and gasped upon seeing Frank on the ceiling light, right above Leni. "...way, way too much spinach!" Everyone else then gasped as they looked up. "Ugh! I know! What was I thinking?" Frank then dropped from the ceiling light. However, before the spider landed in Leni's smoothie, Ronnie Anne quickly moved and caught it at the last second. Leni then gave Ronnie Anne a confused look. "Um, what was that?"

"Nothing!" Everyone said, giving her a nervous smile.

Leni shrugged before pouring the rest of the smoothie into the sink and making her way back into the living room. Everyone sighed in relief. "Thanks, Ronnie Anne." Lincoln's eyes then widened. "Wait, is Frank okay?" Ronnie Anne opened her hands, revealing Frank was perfectly fine. Lincoln quickly snatched the spider from her, causing her to frown in response. "Oh, thank goodness. Ok, I'm not so sure this is the safest place for Frank." He then admitted. "Leni's one thing, but I'd hate to imagine what would happen if he had wondered into Grandpa Rick's garage."

Ronnie Anne smirked. "You could always take him over to my place."

"Uh, I'm not so sure if that's-"

"That's a great idea!" Lori interjected, interrupting Lincoln. "In fact, why don't we all go?" As everyone voiced their approval, Lincoln slumped and rolled his eyes. Of course Lori would take any excuse to see Bobby.

...

Upon reaching the Santiago household, Lincoln noted that it wasn't very big, only being a one story house. It was pretty plain on the inside as well. He couldn't help but wonder if Ronnie Anne's family even made that much money. He entered the kitchen and placed Frank's tank on the table. "As long as I keep a close eye on you, you should be fine." Lincoln said mostly to himself.

Lola looked around the house, looking somewhat disappointed. "This place is kind of a dump."

Luna put a finger to her lips. "Shh dude! We're guests here. You can't say stuff like that!"

"So, where's Bobby?" Lori asked asked Ronnie Anne.

Ronnie Anne looked at the time on her phone. "I think Bobby and my mom should be coming home soon."

Suddenly, Bobby came running with into the house, screaming. He was currently wearing the uniform for Gus' Games and Grub. "AAH! AAH! EMERGENCY! SIS, YOU HOME?! WORKPLACE INJURY! WORKPLACE INJURY! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP! HELP!" He ran into the kitchen, holding his finger.

Ronnie Anne ran up to him. "I'm here, I'm here. Let me take a look." Bobby let Ronnie Anne look at his finger. She then gave him a comforting smile. "Oh, it's just a little splinter." She got out a pair of tweezers and plucked the splinter from his finger. "See? I got it. All better."

Bobby gave Ronnie Anne a relieved smile. "Aw, thanks, Nie Nie." He then gave her a hug. "I can always count on you."

Ronnie Anne blushed upon noticing Lincoln was watching her. She then lightly pushed Bobby away. "Ok, ok, ok. Oh, by the way, I did a load of your work shirts." She pointed her thumb towards the clothes rack which had a bunch of clean shirts hanging from it. "There was some pretzel cheese on your mall cop one, but I got it out."

Bobby tousled her hair. "You're like some kind of wizard." He then finally noticed that Lori was there. "Oh, hey babe!"

"Hi Bobby Boo-Boo Bear! Is your finger okay?"

As Lori and Bobby began to chat, Lincoln noticed that Clyde was glaring at Bobby, muttering something to himself. "Clyde?"

Clyde blinked. "Huh?"

"Clyde, I thought you had gotten over Lori." Lincoln chastised.

"I-I have!" Clyde tried to reassure him. "It's just...I really can't help but wonder. What would have happened if Bobby was out of the picture?"

Lincoln gave Clyde a disappointed look. "Clyde, you really shouldn't think about Bobby like that. He's a pretty nice guy."

Clyde pouted. "Yeah, real nice."

Everyone then heard someone else enter the house. "Ronalda! Roberto! I'm home!" A woman with black hair tied up in a tight bun and wearing a nurse's outfit then came into the kitchen. Her eyes widened upon seeing everyone. "Oh! I wasn't expecting so many guests."

"Hey, Mom! Do you want me to make dinner for us?" Ronnie Anne asked as she took her Mom's handbag. She had originally planned to prepare it beforehand before getting distracted by wanting to see Frank.

Mrs. Santiago gave Ronnie Anne a surprised look. "You want to make dinner?"

"Yeah. I figured after two shifts, it'd be the last thing you wanted to do."

Mrs. Santiago patted Ronnie Anne's head, chuckling. "Oh, how did I get so lucky with you? Don't worry about it though. I can make dinner today."

Ronnie Anne blushed again. "Mom, you're embarrassing me." Mrs. Santiago laughed in response before walking off. Lincoln frowned at himself. After seeing all that, he realised he may have gotten Ronnie Anne all wrong. And considering the two were apparently dating, he really should have realised that sooner. He decided to try and talk to her about this whenever he had time.

Clyde then approached Ronnie Anne. "Man, your mom's a nurse? What about your dad?" Upon seeing Ronnie Anne frown, Clyde's eyes widened. "Oh, sorry! Is that a sore subject?"

Ronnie Anne shook her head, giving a light smile. "No, no, no. You're good. My parents are split up, but it's no big. My dad's a doctor who works with physicians on missions." She got out her phone and showed a picture of her father with a ring-tailed lemur. He had black shaggy hair, a mustache, and a beard. He wore a light green t-shirt. "He's in Peru right now, helping set up a new clinic."

Meanwhile, as the rest of the sisters were back to ogling Frank, Lisa then remarked. "I always thought Frank was a strange name for a female spider."

"Frank's a girl?!" Lincoln exclaimed in surprise.

Lisa nodded. "Mm-hmm. I can tell from the markings. Plus, female spiders always get sluggish before they give birth."

Clyde smiled. "Frank's gonna be a mommy?"

Lincoln frowned. "Wait. Are saying that Frank's already gave birth?"

Lisa gave the spider another look. "It appears so."

Lincoln then heard his phone rumble. He had received a text from Rick that said 'We've sorta got an emergency here. All of you should probably come home'. A worried look appeared on Lincoln's face. "That can't be good."

...

Not long after everyone left, Rick and Leni were watching a commercial for a restaurant from a version of Earth where everyone had big heads but little faces. A man lifted a silver cover, revealing a plate with a tiny piece of meat on it. "Hey, listen, is your mouth tiny and small? Then why don't you come down to 'Little Bits?'

A voice whispered "Little Bits" as it transitioned to the man standing over a table where people were having their meal.

"Where-Where the food is tiny...it looks like regular food. But really tiny. You put it in your mouth and eat it. Nothing gets stuck in your lips. It's just tiny and tiny and fits right-he he-fits right in!"

"Little Bits!"

Plates of different tiny food were being shown. "We got...tiny uh-lasagna. Tiny pizza, tiny pie. Mmh! Little tiny...fried eggs!" The man then noticed two kids enter the restaurant. "Oh, shit! We got tiny people!"

"Little Bits!"

The man was now standing outside the restaurant. "You hungry? Come on down!"

"Little Bits!"

The man was now peering out from the top of a bathroom stall, looking at another man using a urinal. "Eat some fucking shit, you fucking stupid bitch!" He laughed and patted the other man's head while he gave him an annoyed look. "Just kidding." As the commercial played, neither Rick or Leni were aware of the spider egg sacs in the vents that were currently hatching.

Leni smiled. "That sounds totes healthy. Don't you think?"

Rick shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. I don't really care."

Leni started to get giddy. "Ooh, I really can't wait for the surprise party!"

"There is no party." Rick admitted. "They wanted you to stay down here because Lincoln brought a spider home and they didn't want you panicking and killing it."

A shocked look appeared on Leni's face. "Wait...huh?" She almost wanted to panic, knowing there was a spider in the house though she also felt embarrassed, knowing that her siblings had to do this because of how bad she got around spiders.

"Yeah, it's kind of weird. You've seen all sorts of shit out there and you're still scared of spiders? I mean come on, the only kind of spiders you should worry about are black widows and brown recluses and the chances of finding them are pretty rare anyway. Everything else is harmless."

Leni looked downwards in shame. "I-I know. I just can't help it. They're just soooo icky and creepy!" Leni didn't seem to notice a few baby spiders were scurrying onto her shoulders.

Rick's eyes widened. "Uh, Leni. You got a little uh..."

Leni looked down at herself before getting up and screaming. "AAAAAAAHHHHH! SPIDERS!"

Leni started running around in a panicked frenzy. Rick got up and tried to stop her. "Whoa! Jesus Leni! Calm down!"

"GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF! GET THEM OFF!" Leni screamed as she kept running around. She eventually ran out of the living room and into the garage before blindly crashing into a shelf. This caused a flask of glowing green liquid to tip over and spill all over her, making her freeze in fear.

Rick then ran into the garage to see Leni with an odd green glow around her. "Jesus Leni, what did you do?"

Leni turned around. "A-Are the spiders gone?" Rick's eyes widened upon seeing that Leni had somehow gotten an extra pair of eyes.

"Hoo boy."

...

The Loud siblings were all riding Vanzilla home along with Clyde and Ronnie Anne. They had left Frank (who they had renamed Frances) back at Ronnie Anne's house. Bobby had also opted to come with them as he was currently sat next to Lori. "What's going on babe?"

"If we're lucky, Leni might just be panicking over a bunch of baby spiders in the house." Lori grimaced. "But since Rick's involved, it's probably much worse than that. You didn't have to come help us you know."

Bobby smiled. "Why wouldn't I? I mean how bad could it be?" Lori laughed nervously in response before groaning.

As they rode back, Lincoln took this as an opportunity to talk to Ronnie Anne. "Ronnie Anne, I need to apologise for how I acted today. See, I wasn't sure if I could trust you with Frank because I didn't think you were exactly the most careful and nurturing type. But when I saw you with your family, I realized I had you all wrong."

Ronnie Anne seemed slightly miffed to hear this. "So, you didn't think I was trustworthy enough to be left alone with a spider?"

Lincoln started to get nervous. "W-Well, I..."

Ronnie Anne sighed. "Actually, I don't really blame you." Lincoln gave her a surprised look. "I know I haven't always treated nicely. I've been trying to tone it down recently but I guess I can't blame you for thinking I might have smashed Frances or something."

Lincoln shook his head. "No, this is my fault. I thought I knew who you were, but it turns out I didn't know anything about you. Even though we're..." He started blushing. "Well, you know."

Ronnie Anne sighed again. "Look, I've been thinking. I don't wanna end up ruining our friendship. So if you wanna go back to just being friends, I'd be okay with that."

Lincoln frowned. "Is that what you want?"

"Not really..." Ronnie Anne admitted.

"Look, when I said that I thought you were really cool and funny, I really meant all that." Lincoln confessed. "And on top of that, you're also really responsible and caring. Also, I don't really mind the pranks or teasing all that much. It's actually a little fun, well, as long as it's in small doses."

Ronnie Anne gave Lincoln a heartfelt smile before smirking and giving Lincoln a light punch on his arm. "Thanks, Lame-O."

"Awwww!" Everyone else squeed as they stared at the two.

Lincoln blushed and scowled at them. "Oh, knock it off."

At that moment, the group had reached the Loud house. Upon entering, there didn't seem to be any sign of Leni or Rick. "Leni!" Lori called out.

"Grandpa Rick!" Lincoln shouted.

"Did Grandpa Rick take Leni to another dimension or something?" Lynn asked.

Lincoln thought for a moment. "They could be in Rick's underground lab."

Ronnie Anne gave Lincoln a surprised look. "Your Grandpa has an underground lab?"

Lincoln shrugged. "To be honest, at this point it'd be more surprising to know what Grandpa Rick doesn't have."

Everyone made their way to the garage. Lincoln then went over to a nearby laptop and pressed the button that caused the floor to slowly lower down into Rick's underground lab. After stepping off the floor, it automatically rose back up, leaving the group in the darkness of Rick's lab. Despite their nervousness, the group started looking around, though neither Rick nor Leni appeared to be here either. "I don't see any sign of them dudes." Luna said.

"Um, guys?" Lucy called out. Everyone went over to where Lucy was to find a big hole in the ground.

"What do you guys think we'll find down there?" Lincoln asked.

"Probably our deaths. Heh heh." Luan joked. Everyone then glared at her. "Sorry."

Lori, who had been carrying Lily, then handed her over to Lisa. "Okay, you two, Lana and Lola need to stay up here."

"Aww, why can't we come?" Lola moaned.

"Do you really want to come with us down there?" Lori asked.

Lola stared at the hole for a moment. "...eh. Not really."

"Well, there you go then."

The rest of the group then dropped into the hole and started to make their way through what looked like a man-made cave with trepidation. While everyone was nervous, Clyde and Bobby were especially scared as both of them were shaking in fear. "M-Maybe this wasn't such a good idea." Clyde stuttered.

"Y-Yeah, isn't this a little dangerous?" Bobby asked.

Upon seeing how scared Bobby was, Clyde then put on a brave face. "I mean, it's not so bad really."

Seeing Clyde put on a brave face, Bobby also tried to put on one. "Y-Yeah."

Lori used her phone to light the way through the cave. After a while, Lori stopped upon hearing some odd sounds. Her hand trembled for a moment as she raised her phone before gasping at the sight in front of her. Rick's body and mouth was wrapped with webbing as he was stuck to the wall, staring at them with wide eyes. Next to him was what appeared to be Leni, though her appearance horrified the group. She almost resembled an arachne as the lower half of her body resembled that of a spider's. For her upper half, her skin had turned a pale blue and she now had eight red eyes along with giant fangs in her mouth. She was also now staring at the group. "L-Leni?"

Leni then screeched and started charging towards the group. "Everyone spread out!" Lori ordered as everyone tried to either run around or run away from from the mutant. The only one that didn't was Clyde, who stood there, paralysed in fear. Upon reaching Clyde, Leni turned around, about to shoot her webbing at him.

"Look out!" At the last second, Bobby grabbed Clyde and picked him up before running back through the cave. Leni screeched but before she could chase after them, Lynn jumped on her and started punching her.

After realising Leni wasn't chasing after them, Bobby put Clyde down. "You okay, little dude?"

"Y...You saved me?" Clyde spluttered.

Bobby smiled. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?" Clyde then fainted. "Clyde? Oh boy." Bobby then decided that since neither of them would be any use in this fight, it'd probably be best to take Clyde out of the cave. He could only hope that Lori would be able to handle herself.

Leni screeched as she picked Lynn off of her and threw her into the wall, knocking her unconscious. Luna, Luan and Lucy then piled on top of her, trying to restrain her. As this happened, Lori had managed to make her way over to Rick as she ripped off the webbing on his face. "Rick. What the hell?!"

Rick scowled. "Hey, don't look at me! She's the one who got herself mutated. Look, just knock her out and I'll be able to fix this."

At that moment, Leni managed to throw all three of her sisters off of her, taking them out of the fight. She then set her sights on Lincoln. Lincoln cowered against the wall as Leni slowly approached him with a hungry look in her eyes. Suddenly, a rock went flying at her head. She screeched as she turned towards Ronnie Anne. "Hey, ugly!" She taunted. "If you wanna fight with someone, why don't you take on me?"

As Leni made her way towards Ronnie Anne, an idea popped up in Lincoln's head. He picked up a nearby rock and threw it at Leni's head, causing her to screech again and turn towards him. "If you wanna get to her, you gotta get through me!" Lincoln boasted.

Before Leni could make her way towards Lincoln, another rock was thrown at her head by Ronnie Anne again. "Yeah, well, if you wanna get to him, you gotta get through me!" Leni screeched in confusion as she looked back and forth between the two, unsure of who to go after. She then felt someone tap on her shoulder and turned around, only to see Lori's fist fly towards her face, knocking her unconscious.

...

"Hey, how's it going? This is my butthole ice cream parlour." Leni blinked as she slowly regained consciousness. She was now back to normal and lying on the couch, facing towards the TV. On the TV was a yellow alien in some kind of ice cream parlour. "I got all kinds of ice cream." He started showing off all the flavours of ice cream which all came out of some kind of devices that resembled buttholes. "Peanut butter and jelly, vanilla, chocolate and every flavor served out of a butthole. Just like you're back home."

Leni groaned as she sat up. She then noticed her siblings, Rick, Clyde, Ronnie Anne and Bobby were all standing around her. "Leni! Are you okay?" Lori asked.

Leni groaned again, starting to feel a headache. "What happened?"

"Leni, what's the last thing you remember?" Lori asked.

Leni thought for a moment. "I...think I was watching TV with Grandpa Rick."

Lori sighed in relief. "Oh good. She doesn't remember."

Lola tsked. "Lucky."

Everyone's eyes then widened as a baby spider crawled along Leni's arm. Upon noticing it, Leni then picked it up. "Huh. Maybe spiders aren't so bad after all. I mean, this one's kinda cute." She then noticed the spider blink at her. "Aww. I don't know what I was thinking. This guy's adorable!"

Everyone sighed in relief, glad that despite what happened, at least Leni had gotten over her fear of spiders. Lincoln and Ronnie Anne then went into another room to chat. "Ok, that was nuts!" Ronnie Anne admitted.

Lincoln scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, that kind of stuff happens a lot around here. I hope you don't mind it too much."

Ronnie Anne scoffed. "Hey, if you're okay with a couple pranks, why should I let this bother me?" The two then shared a laugh. However, despite Ronnie Anne being glad her relationship with Lincoln was able to continue, she still couldn't help but be worried about their future. Especially after once overhearing her mother talk on the phone about possibly moving out.


	22. Look Who’s Spelling It Out Now

"Sigh." Lucy groaned as she arrived home. She hadn't had the best day at school as Haiku was still upset with her for the biting incident and the rest of the club were still somewhat scared of her (apart from Boris for some reason). She had decided to go on a nightly stroll to try and clear her head, though it didn't help much.

"Guys, this looks so good!" Lucy heard Leni's voice from upstairs.

As Lucy made her way upstairs, curious about what was going on, she heard Lori say. "We should literally be interior designers!"

Lucy entered the bathroom to see all of her siblings painting the walls pink. "Hey, guys." All of them jumped and gasped in surprise. "Why are you painting the bathroom my least favorite colour?"

"Uh, duh! We voted on it at the sibling meeting, remember?" Lynn replied.

...

Earlier, while Lucy was out, the siblings were gathered in Lori's room as she held two cans of paint. "So, based on the leftover paint in the garage, our options are pink..." She giggled as she raised the pink can. "...or black." She frowned as she raised the black can. "All in favor of pink?"

Leni, Luan, Lola, Lily and Lori herself raised their hands. "Aye!"

Lori frowned. "Black?"

Luna, Lynn, Lincoln, Lana and Lisa raised their hands. "Aye!"

Lori sighed. "Looks like it's a tie. Guess we'll just have to settle this on a coin flip." She got out a coin. "Heads for pink, tails for black."

As Lori flipped the coin, Lincoln then realised Lucy's absence. "Hey, shouldn't we ask Lucy what she'd-"

"And it's heads. Pink it is!" Lori interrupted. The siblings that voted pink cheered while the rest just shrugged.

...

"Sigh. Well, I wasn't there. But of course, as usual, no one noticed."

Lola raised an eyebrow at Lucy. "Oh, come on! Exaggerate much?"

As Leni kept painting the wall with a roller brush, she then accidentally painted Lucy with it. "Whoops. Sorry, I didn't notice you." She gave Lucy a poke on the nose.

...

After cleaning herself up, Lucy growled to herself as she carried her Edwin bust into the attic. As if her problems at school weren't bad enough, she was now reminded of the fact that all of her siblings seem to forget that she's even there most of the time. This wasn't the first time she found herself ignored. She whimpered as she placed the bust onto a box. "Edwin, no matter what I do, my siblings walk all over me. At least when things get bad, I can go to my secret dark place." She looked around, realising that the attic was cluttered with stuff. "Which they've filled with their junk. Typical. Sigh." She picked up a broom to push all the stuff out of the way. She then came across a trunk which she then tried to push out of the way before noticing a tag on it. "Oh, look. This trunk belonged to Great Grandma Harriet." She opened the trunk and picked up a photo of her great grandmother who had sadly passed away sometime before Lucy was born. "She was a pretty cool lady. See?" She showed the photo to her Edwin bust.

The photo of her was an old photo from when she was a child. She had a striking resemblance to Lucy though she wore white pearl earrings, a pearl necklace, a black dress with a brown waistband and brown cuffs and a brown 1930's hat. Lucy then got out a crystal ball and some fake skulls before noticing a secret compartment at the bottom of the trunk. "Ooh. What's this?" She opened the compartment to find an old book inside. She picked it up a blew the dust away before reading the title. "Ancient Book of Spells. Whoa!" She opened the book and looked through the spells. She started grinning. Maybe a curse or two will get through to her siblings.

"Hey, Lucy, what are you doing?"

"Gah!" Lucy jumped, not realising that Rick had come into the attic.

Rick's eyes widened as he noticed the trunk. "Oh shit! I didn't know Lynn kept all this stuff!"

Lucy watched as Rick looked inside the trunk. "You...knew Great Grandma Harriet?"

Rick turned to her with a raised eyebrow. "Well duh! She is my mother after all."

Lucy gaped in shock. She knew she shouldn't be that surprised but she was finding it hard to believe someone like Rick was raised by someone like Harriet. "Really? What was she like?"

Rick smiled nostalgically as he looked back on the memories of his childhood. "Oh, she was great."

...

A young Rick stared through the window of the toy store. A new toy car had just come out and he really wanted it. "Mom, can you buy me that? Please?" He asked, pointing towards the car."

His mother frowned. "Sigh. Don't you already have a toy car? This would just be a waste of money."

"But it looks really cool!" Rick argued.

"Cool? It's a car. They exist to get us from point A to point B. There's nothing special about them. There's far more interesting things that exist in this universe. You should focus on something more worthwhile."

...

"Yep. Wouldn't be the man I am today if it weren't for her." Rick then noticed the book Lucy was holding. "Oh hey, that's Mom's old spellbook." He then took the book and started flipping through it.

"Um. Does it work?" Lucy asked.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Course it doesn't work. Mom was convinced it did though. She was always obsessed with spells and witchcraft and all that crap."

Lucy slumped. "Sigh."

"What did you want to use this for anyway?"

"I got sick of my siblings always ignoring me so I was hoping I could...curse them." Saying it out loud, she started to feel a little guilty for thinking like this.

Rick didn't seem too bothered. "I mean I can pretty much do all this stuff myself so, you know, you always have that option."

"But...isn't that kind of...immoral?"

Rick sighed as he put the book down. "Listen, stuff like good and evil isn't real. There's only two types of people in this world. Smart people and idiots. I know you're a smart kid, Lucy. But when you're as smart as me, you realise nothing really matters. When you know nothing matters, the universe is yours. And I've never met a universe that was into it. The universe is basically an animal. It grazes on the ordinary. It creates infinite idiots just to eat them. You know, smart people get a chance to climb on top, take reality for a ride, but it'll never stop trying to throw you. And eventually it will, unless you put a saddle on your universe and let it kick itself out. You understand what I'm trying to tell you?"

Lucy thought about what Rick said. She understood the gist of it. Take control of your life and don't let others pull you down. It kind of reminded her of something Luna had talked about. About how pointless it was to worry about all the bad things happening in the universe as the universe was infinite. Therefore, it was impossible to try and fix everything wrong with it. Lucy knew the universe was a cold and dark place. Maybe Rick's right about not letting it affect her any more. "I think...I see your point."

Rick nodded in approval. "Hey uh, me and Lincoln were gonna go on a ride through space. You coming?"

Lucy smiled. "Sure."

...

Lincoln and Lucy sat in the back of Rick's cruiser as he casually cruised through space. Lincoln gave Lucy an apologetic look. "Hey Lucy, sorry about the whole bathroom thing."

"It's fine." Lucy replied.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes. After thinking about it, the colour of the bathroom isn't really that important."

The two then heard a splat. They looked forward and yelped as they saw a big alien bug had splatted against the front window. "Relax kids. That's what windshields are for." Rick said.

"I didn't know there were bugs out in space." Lincoln remarked.

"Well, w-what did you think, Lincoln? Life just developed on earth by itself? Here, let me take care of this." Rick then activated the windshield wipers though all it did was make more of a mess, smearing the bug all over the windshield.

"Ok, that's disgusting." Lucy said.

"Yeah, I really don't want to keep looking at that." Lincoln added.

"Yeah, guess I'm out of fluid. L-Let me find a place to stop." Rick flew the cruiser over to a nearby planet. This planet was populated by light brown furred, cat-like humanoids. The clothing and buildings looked similar to those of amish culture. Rick stopped in front of a man wearing glasses and rolled down his window. "Hey, muchacho, does your planet have wiper fluid yet, or are you gonna freak out and start worshipping us?"

The man pointed towards a nearby building. "The general store ought to have what you need."

"Thanks."

"Of course, you'll be wanting to be gone from here by sundown."

"Yeah, sure thing." Rick started to roll his window back up before pausing and rolling it back down. "Wait a minute. What? Why?"

"Sundown is when the festival begins." The man cheerfully replied.

"The festival?" Lincoln asked.

"Ooh, well, for millennia, our society has been free of crime and war, living in perfect peace." The man explained.

"Oh, I know what this is!" Rick said excitedly. "You've been able to sustain world peace because you have one night a year where you all run around robbing and murdering each other without consequence."

"That's right."

"What?!" Lincoln exclaimed in horror.

"It's like 'The Purge,' Lincoln. That movie 'The Purge'?" Rick explained.

"The...Purge?" Lincoln asked apprehensively.

"I've seen that film. It kinda sucks." Lucy remarked.

"Oh, have you been here before?" The man asked.

"No, no, but I've been to a few planets with the same gimmick." Rick explained. He then turned to Lincoln and Lucy. "You know, sometimes it's called the cleansing or the red time. There was this one world that called it just murder night. I-It's a purge planet. They're peaceful and then, you know, they just purge."

Lincoln stared at Rick in shock. "That's horrible!"

"Yeah." Rick then grinned. "You want to check it out?"

...

As Lincoln hurriedly filled the cruiser up with the wiper fluid, urgent to get off this planet while Lucy waited in the cruiser, Rick started up a conversation with an elderly man sat on a rocking chair. "So, what do you do during the festival? You lock yourself in, or you go out and do some stuff?"

The man grinned sinisterly. "Oh, I do some pretty bad stuff."

"Oh, I bet you do, old timer." Rick laughed.

As Lincoln finished, he nervously glanced at the sun as he shut the door hatch. "Um, Grandpa Rick, can we please hurry up? I really don't want to stick around here."

"All right, well, w-what do I owe you for the wiper fluid?" Rick asked the elderly man.

"It's on the house."

Rick smiled. "Oh, no way. That's really nice of you."

"I'm a nice guy... For now." As the man said this, Lincoln again glanced at the setting sun.

"Ohh, I don't doubt it." Rick chuckled. "Hey, have a good festival, old timer."

"I intend to."

After Rick got into the cruiser, Lincoln attempted to open the door, only to find it locked. "Um, Grandpa Rick, could you please unlock this?!"

Rick appeared to be watching the sunset. "Just a second, Lincoln. Oh, look at that sunset."

Lincoln scowled. "Rick!"

Rick then unlocked the door as Lincoln quickly got back in. He then activated the windshield wipers. This time, the mess was washed away. "There we go. Much better. Now we can see."

"G-Great..." The longer they were here, the more nervous Lincoln was starting to get.

As the cruiser set off, the sky started to turn to a dark shade of red as it started to get closer and closer to nighttime. "Hey, you know what, Lincoln? Why don't we christen our squeaky-clean windshield here by watching a little of this purge through it?" Rick suggested.

Lincoln looked at Rick in disgust. "What?! Why would we wanna watch any of this?"

"I don't mind." Lucy said.

Lincoln gave Lucy a look of shock. "W-What?!"

Lucy shrugged. "It's not like it matters. If they're okay with doing this, I don't see anything wrong with watching."

Lincoln could hardly believe what his younger sister was saying. He knew she was dark but he never knew she was this dark. "B...But why would either of you want to watch this? It's just people killing each other!"

"Lincoln, grow up." Rick snapped. "If you don't want to watch, don't watch but, you know, it's my car."

Lincoln gave both of them appalled looks. "How could either of you be into this?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "Lincoln, the only reason you're not is because you're afraid of your own primal instincts. So you stuff them down and-" The three then heard a bell chime as it was finally nighttime. "Oh, oh! Shh. Shh. It's starting." Both Rick and Lucy looked out the window, seeing the townspeople already starting to riot. "Oh-ho-ho! Here we go."

Lincoln folded his arms. "You two are sick. I'm not watching."

"Yeah, yeah, yeah, your medal's in the mail." Rick snarked. "I'm gonna get a closer look." Rick flew his cruiser closer to the action. He and Lucy watched as the townspeople slaughtered each other with various farming tools. "Whoa, they are purging the fuck out of each other!" As blood started to splatter on the window, Rick's grin started to fade. "Oh my God. Oh!" Rick fliched as a large amount of blood splattered on the windshield. He then activated the windshield wipers. "That was...okay, yeah. T-That was gross."

Likewise, Lucy's enthusiasm quickly faded as she watched the purge. Turned out that watching characters in a horror movie get slaughtered was much different then watching real people get slaughtered. She started to feel queasy. "I think I'm gonna be sick..."

"Wow. Man, I think my eyes were bigger than my stomach on this one, kids. Ugh. My appetite for purge-spectating got filled pretty quick. Oh God." Rick started to retch as he opened the window and started to puke out of it.

Lincoln and Lucy then heard screaming. They looked out the window to see a teenage girl with brown hair and a blue dress with a white apron surrounded by three men with weapons, backing her into a haystack. She waved around a lit torch to keep the men away. "Get away from me! No! No! Help! Somebody help me! Aah!"

"All right, kids. L-Let's get out of here." Rick said after recovering from his puking session.

"Wait, hold on. We have to save that girl!" Lincoln pleaded.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Uh, Lincoln, in space, we have something we call the non-interference policy. We got the wiper fluid. We watched them kill each other. We're leaving."

Lincoln scowled at Rick. "Help me save that girl, or I'm telling Mom and Dad you brought us here."

Rick narrowed his eyes at Lincoln. "You little turd." The three then heard screaming again.

"Please! Leave me alone!" The girl begged.

One of the men grinned evilly at her. "Leave you alone? During a purge? I don't think so, baby!" The man was then squashed by Rick's cruiser. Rick got out of the cruiser and shot another man with his lazer gun while the last man ran away.

The girl dropped her torch and cowered away from the three approaching her. "It's okay. We're not gonna hurt you." Lincoln reassured her. "My name is Lincoln. This is my sister and my grandpa. We're tourists."

"Not anymore." Rick said as he noticed a crowd of people heading towards them. He got out his laser gun and started firing at them. After a couple kills, he started grinning. "Oh my God. This is fucking awesome! Lucy, this is really cool. Hey, y-you want to help me out here and kill some people?" He got out another laser gun and handed it to her. "It's fun. We're totally justified because we're saving a little girl. I mean, w-w-we're all free and clear to murder these people."

Lucy stared down at the gun, unsure of what to do. After what Rick said, she thought she'd be fine with doing something like this now. It might even help her vent out some frustrations. Yet, she still couldn't help but feel hesitant. "Um...I-I don't..."

As this was happening, Lincoln was talking to the girl. "Are you okay?"

"Yes." She gasped. "I have to find somewhere to hide."

"Well, don't worry, you can hide with us. Grandpa Rick?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you think we could take..." Lincoln turned to the girl. "What was your name again?"

"Arthricia."

"Could we take Arthricia up in the ship until this purge is over?"

Rick stopped firing and gave Lincoln an annoyed look. "Oh, Lincoln, how can I refuse after all you've done to blackmail me?"

The four quickly ran into the cruiser as Arthricia sat up front with Rick. As Rick set off, Arthricia looked around the inside of the ship in wonder. "Your vehicle...is it from the gods?"

"Yes." Rick replied.

"No." Lincoln replied.

"Huh?" Lucy responded.

After Rick flew high enough above the town, Arthricia, looked out the window, watching the carnage continue. "So why did your people start doing this anyway?" Lincoln asked.

She turned to Lincoln with a sullen look. "Well...it-" She then gasped. "My Nana!"

Rick raised an eyebrow at her. "Huh?"

"My Nana! We have to save her."

...

After following Arthricia's directions, Rick landed the cruiser near a house in some kind of swamp. "You just now remembered your Nana exists." Rick interrogated Arthricia.

"I-I was traumatized." She stuttered.

"Haven't you been through like, fifteen purges? I mean, some as a child?"

"Will somebody just help me get her?" Arthricia pleaded.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Fine, whatever. Lincoln, Lucy, stay."

Rick got his laser gun out as he and Arthricia got out the cruiser and went into the house. Lincoln and Lucy stared at the house for a moment before suddenly, their eyes widened as lasers started coming out of the house. "W-What's going on?" Lucy asked nervously.

Arthricia then bursted out of the house, holding Rick's lazer gun. She then aimed the gun towards Lincoln and Lucy. "Get out! Get out!"

Lincoln and Lucy stared at her in shock. "W-What?" Lincoln stuttered.

"Get the fuck out of the flying machine!" Arthricia shouted as she fired the gun upwards to threaten them. Both of them yelped as they quickly got out of the cruiser, raising up their hands. Arthricia then walked around them. "Back up!" Both of them whimpered in fear as they stepped away from the cruiser. Once she knew it was safe, Arthricia then got into the cruiser. She calmed down and gave both of them an apologetic look. "For what it's worth, I'm sorry, but that's not really worth anything tonight, is it?"

"W-Why are you doing this?" Lincoln asked as Arthricia started up the cruiser. "Wait please! You can't just leave us! We'll die out here!" Lincoln's pleading fell on deaf ears as Arthricia clumsily took off in the cruiser. While Lincoln stared despairingly at the cruiser, Lucy growled in frustration.

Both of them then ran into the house to find that it had been set on fire. Rick was lying on the floor, bleeding from the side of his stomach. "Lincoln! Aah! Fucking Amish bitch shot me!" Rick grunted. "She tried to purge me, Lincoln. You tried to play superhero and now I'm dead."

"Rick, she took the car!" Lincoln informed him.

"You fucking kidding me, Lincoln?!" Rick snapped. "She took my car and the gun. We're like the rest of these assholes now. W-W-We're gonna get purged, Lincoln. Help me up."

Lincoln and Lucy helped Rick get up and carried him out of the house. "Wait, Grandpa Rick, why don't we just use your portal gun?" Lucy asked.

"Because I left it in the car." Rick grunted. "Oh, God, it hurts. She got me right in the goddamn liver, Lincoln. It's the hardest working liver in the galaxy, Lincoln and now it has a hole in it. I hope it was worth it."

"I-I was just trying to do the right thing," Lincoln tried to explain.

"Yeah, well, that's not really the theme of tonight's party." Rick then noticed a mob heading towards them. "Oh great. Wait, Lucy! You still have the gun I gave you right? Quick, purge them!"

"M-Me?" Lucy stuttered.

"No, me. Should I rub my liver hole on them? Just shoot them!" Lucy got out the gun and aimed at one of the men coming close to them. Lucy's hand trembled for a moment before freezing up. Luckily, Rick noticed this. "Oh my God." Rick quickly got out a small device and threw it towards one of the men. The device electrified the man, leaving nothing but ash behind. Seeing this caused the rest of the mob to pause. Rick then picked out something else from his coat pocket. "There's more where that came from! You want to get purged, you bring it! Drop your shit! Drop it all." The rest of the mob fearfully dropped their weapons. Rick then whispered to Lincoln. "Lincoln, go get their shit. Hurry up. I only had one of those things I threw. I'm holding a box of tic tacs right now."

...

Back at the Loud house, Lori was sat on her bed, texting with Bobby before receiving a call. She groaned as she realised the call was coming from Rick before answering it. "What do you want Rick?"

"Hello to you too." Rick responded. He was currently in another house, mixing various liquids together. "Listen I need you to do me a favor. Lincoln, Lucy and I are on a planet that's purging. I need you to take down-"

"Purging? You mean like the movie 'The Purge'?"

"Yes, I-I need you to take-"

"There's actually planets like that? And why did you take Lincoln and Lucy to a place like that?!"

"Look, long story short, this is all Lincoln's fault. We lost our car and we're in a purge. Now hold on a sec." Rick put the phone on speaker mode and put it down on the table.

"Rick, I swear if anything happens to my siblings..." Lori threatened as Rick got out a dropper and used it on the liquid in the bowl that he had been mixing before squeezing a drop on the spot where he had been shot.

"Aah!" Rick winced in pain.

"What was that?" Lori asked.

"Nothing. Don't worry about it."

"Grar!" A man holding a bloodied up rake then bursted into the house. Rick immediately got out the laser gun he had taken back from Lucy and shot the man in the head while Lincoln and Lucy hid behind the table.

More townspeople then tried getting into the house, only to be shot down by Rick. As this was happening, Lincoln spoke on the phone. "Lori! We need you to take down this number!"

"Lincoln? What's going on? Are you and Lucy okay?"

"No. I'll explain later."

Rick quickly ran over to the table. "Are you writing this down? Will you please write this down?"

"Write what down?"

"7-7-1-9-8..." Another man then came in. Rick quickly jumped across the table to shoot him dead. "3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5."

"W-Wait, let me get a pen first!"

Rick slumped. "Oh my God..."

He was then caught off guard by a man running in with a knife, causing him to drop the gun. Rick tried to defend himself by holding the man's wrists though the man's strength caused Rick to fall to the floor, still trying to hold off the man that was currently on top of him. "You son of a bitch! Kids, I don't want to be the 'a little help' guy, but a little help?"

Unsure of what to do, Lincoln threw a spoon over to Rick. Rick decided to make do and stabbed the man in the eye with the spoon before punching him, knocking him out. "Okay, I have a pen. Go." Lori said.

Rick sat up. "7-7-1-9-8-3-6-4-2-1-1-2-5." He stood up and turned to Lincoln. "A spoon, Lincoln? A spoon?!"

"I'm sorry. I-I panicked."

"Yeah clearly. Lori, on the shelf above my workbench in the garage, there's a red box with a keypad on it. You're gonna take that box outside and you're gonna type the number I just gave you into the keypad. Got it?"

"Got it."

...

Rick carried his laser gun as he and the two siblings made their way towards a lighthouse on top of a cliff next to the ocean. "Kids, if I can get to the top of that lighthouse, I can send the beacon, and your sister can launch our package. Just remember, if there's people in there and they try to purge us, we got to purge them first."

"Shouldn't we try to avoid killing anyone as much as possible?" Lincoln asked.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Lincoln, this isn't the time to be playing Ace Savvy. It's kill or be killed out here."

"Grandpa Rick's right. Besides, they'll inevitably end up killing each other anyway. Who cares what we do?" Lucy added.

Lincoln gave Lucy a critical look. "Is that really what you think, Lucy?"

Lucy went silent, not really sure how to answer that. Like Rick had said, her killing anyone here would be completely justified and she would suffer no consequences for it. And yet it just didn't feel right to her. She couldn't bring herself to actually do it. Was she just a coward? It's not like one kill would really have much of an effect on her life. Would it? As she was lost in thoughts, she hadn't time to answer that question before Rick rang the doorbell to the lighthouse. The person to answer it was an elderly, bespectacled man wearing a brown vest with a red bowtie. He raised his hands defensively. "I take no part in the festival. If you desire to kill me, I only ask you do it quickly."

"No such agenda, chief." Rick reassured him.

"We were just hoping to get on the roof of your lighthouse so we can send a beacon to my sister on earth. It's a different planet." Lincoln explained.

"By the way, life on other planets exists. Don't let it distract you." Rick added.

"I'll let you use my lighthouse for shelter and beacon-sending on the condition that you listen to my tale." The man offered.

Rick shrugged. "Ok."

Lincoln smiled. "Deal."

"All right, I'm gonna go to the roof and set things up." Rick explained. "Lincoln, Lucy, you listen to his tale."

"Ok." Lincoln said.

...

The interior of the lighthouse was also the man's home as Lincoln and Lucy noticed his bed along with a stove and a cupboard filled with cooking utensils. Lincoln and Lucy were sat in the centre of the room on a wooden bench while the man sat in front of them on a rocking chair next to a stump which had a single candle lighting up the room. To his other side was a coffee table which had a pile of scripts on it. He picked up one of them and blew off the dust before he cleared his throat and started to read it. "'Fade in. Exterior. Unnamed city. Day.' The hustle and bustle is a symphony of progress. We pan past windows, each of which contain a different story, to find Jacey Lakims, 28...hot, but doesn't know it. Jacey stops when her high heel gets caught in the grating of a sewer. Suddenly, a man steps into frame and points a gun at her. This is not her day. Fade to black. Title...'three weeks earlier.'" While Lucy listened with interest, Lincoln couldn't help but stare at the man in confusion.

...

Rick was at the top of the lighthouse, attaching the beacon that he had made with whatever he could find, which included a fishing rod and an alarm clock, to the railing. "Come on, Lori. How hard is it to type some numbers into a box?"

The beacon then started beeping as a voice then came from it. "Target locked."

"Oh, thank God." Rick then leaned against the railing, getting out his flask. "Well, I did my job. Lori did her job. Now all Lincoln and Lucy have to do is finish listening to that tale."

...

"Blane: Maybe I don't need a new friend. Jacey: Maybe you're the only friend I need. Blane: Need, or want? Jacey: I've never been much for wanting. Blane: Spoken like someone with needs." At this point, Lincoln looked bored out of his skull while Lucy looked unimpressed. "Jacey reaches out and touches his face. It's clear he needs what she wants. She's a woman. He's a man. The city burns in the background as he takes her in his arms. Fade out. Title... 'The End...Question mark.'"

"Um..." Lincoln tried to think of what to say about that. "That was...cool."

"You liked it?"

"Uh, yeah."

The man frowned. "You didn't laugh at the scene in the bar."

"I-It was funny. I just wanted to hear the rest is all."

"Do you have any thoughts? Notes?"

Lincoln scratched the back of his head. "Not really. I liked it. It sounded fine to me."

"Seems a little insincere."

"What? No."

"You don't have to mollycoddle me. I want to improve my writing. Tell me your real thoughts."

"Well to be honest." Lucy then said. "I thought some of the scenes were a little cliché. Like the 'three weeks earlier' thing. It's kind of-"

Before Lucy could continue, the man stood up with an offended look on his face. "Get out."

"Um, what?" Lincoln asked as both of the siblings looked at the man in shock.

"No, I'm sick of this. You bang on my door, you beg me to help you, I share something personal with you, and you take a giant shit on it."

"I thought you said you wanted us to be honest?" Lincoln asked. He then stood up. "And all we wanted was to put a beacon up."

"Well, you can't. I want you out of here. Your sister's a petty person and she's insecure and she's taking it out on me. That's a good script."

The man then made his way upstairs, Lincoln and Lucy followed after him. "Wait, I'm sorry. Please don't make us leave." Lucy pleaded.

"I don't care. I want you out." The man said as he reached the top of the lighthouse.

"What?" Rick asked, turning around.

"Take that thing down. Your granddaughter is a shitty person. Leave now."

The man's scathing comments caused Lucy to shrink back. Upon seeing this, Lincoln started to get angry. "Hey, you can't talk about my sister like that."

The man put his hands on his hips. "It's not my fault she can't handle the truth."

"Hey, you're the one that can't handle the fact that your screenplay sucked!"

"Whoa, Lincoln! We're guests here." Rick said.

"I'm taking down this beacon and I want you, your grandson and your awful granddaughter to get out of here." Before the man could walk over to the beacon, Lincoln stepped in front of him with a look of fury on his face, causing the man to pause. He growled in anger. How dare this guy talk about his sister like this. This adventure was awful enough and he was starting to lose his patience with the people on this planet. Lincoln wasn't normally a violent person but at this point, he really felt like punching this guy's lights out.

Before he could do something he may have ended up regretting, he felt Lucy's hand on his shoulder. "Sigh. Let's just leave."

Lincoln turned to her as his anger dissipated. "Huh?"

"I don't want to cause any trouble. Maybe it's best if we just left."

Rick gave both of them annoyed looks. "Uh, are you two forgetting that we kinda need this?"

The beacon then started beeping. "Beacon arriving."

"Huh. Well that's convenient."

...

After leaving the lighthouse, the three walked over to a nearby field. "You know, for the record, you two could have totally gotten away with murdering that guy if you really wanted to."

Lucy slumped, starting to feel mentally exhausted. "Sigh. He may have been a jerk, but that doesn't mean he should've died for it."

Rick raised an eyebrow at her. "Geez, Lucy. You seemed fine with all this earlier. What happened."

"I...guess I just don't have it in me to actually kill anyone. Even if it's justified."

Rick then noticed another mob heading towards them. "Well you might want to rethink your stance on that Lucy." Rick then noticed the elderly man he had talked to earlier was at the front of the mob. "Hey, there he is."

"Here I am." He said as he held up a spiked bat.

The three backed off from the mob until they started to hear a whirring sound. An orb-like probe with two circular, red screens landed in front of them and opened up, extending upwards. Rick pressed a button on it, making it assemble suits of weaponized flying armor onto their bodies. "If you two still don't want to kill anyone, I suggest you both stand back." Rick's arm then fired a rocket towards the mob, blowing up some its members before he used both of his arms to fire lasers at them.

While Rick was handling most of them, he didn't notice one slip by him, approaching Lucy. Upon seeing him, Lucy aimed her arm at him. Yet once again, she found herself freezing up. "D-Dang it..."

"Grargh!" The man raised his axe towards her. However, before he could attack, he was then shot in the head, immediately killing him.

Lucy looked over at who had shot him. To her shock, it was Lincoln himself who had done this. "Lincoln, you...you killed him?"

"O-Of course I did." Lincoln said, seeming a little rattled by what he had just done. "If I didn't, he was going to hurt you. I don't like it, but I couldn't let that happen to you, Lucy."

Lucy stared at her brother in surprise. This whole time, she had been feeling like her siblings barely cared about her. Lincoln putting aside his feelings about killing to save her had showed her just how wrong she had been. Touched, she ran over to Lincoln and wrapped her arms around him. "Thank you, Lincoln."

Rick then approached the two after finishing killing the rest of the mob. "Whoa. I saw what happened. Lincoln, you just purged."

Lincoln gulped, not feeling proud about that at all. "I-I only did it to save Lucy!"

Rick shrugged. "Whatever you say. All right, let's go find my ship." The three then activated the rockets on their feet as they flew over the town. Rick eventually spotted his cruiser, which had crashed into a building. "Hey, hey, kids, kids. There it is down there... my ship. It looks to me like the bitch crashed it."

Arthricia crawled out of the ship and across the ground until she came across three pairs of legs. She looked up to see Rick, Lincoln and Lucy glaring down at her as Rick pointed his arm at her. "Wait, stop! Please, don't kill me!" She pleaded. "I-I never intended to harm you, I swear. I am trying to end the festival."

"W-W-What do you mean?" Rick asked.

"I was going to use your ship to destroy the rich assholes that run our society and save my people from the horrors of this yearly festival." Arthricia explained.

Rick thought about it for a moment. "Well, hey, I'm always up for killing rich, old bastards."

Lincoln glared at her. "Are you sure we can trust this dirtbag?"

Arthricia got up and clasped her hands together. "Please. These people only care about themselves. Lots of people have spoken out against the festival but they do nothing but ignore and disregard the rest of us, no matter what we do. If they're gone, we could stop all of this killing."

"I think we should trust her." Lucy then said.

Lincoln turned to her. "You sure?"

Lucy nodded. "Yes. I know how it feels like to be ignored and disregarded."

"Ok. Well then, where are these rich people?" Rick asked Arthricia.

...

After taking the armour off Lucy and giving it to Arthricia (since Lucy obviously wasn't going to use it), the group flew over to a giant mansion far away from the rest of the town. "Ok, since neither of you want to join in, both of you can just stay out here. Lincoln, if you see anyone, protect your sister."

Lincoln nodded. "Got it."

Rick and Arthricia then entered the mansion. Lincoln then turned to Lucy. "Lucy, can I ask if anything's bothering you lately? You've been acting kinda...dark today. Well, darker than usual."

Lucy slumped. "Sigh. Lately I've been wondering if anything really matters."

"Why would you think like that?"

"Well, it feels like my sisters don't think I matter. I guess if nothing really mattered, why let anything stop me from doing what I want. Though, I guess murder isn't really something I want. I guess I just got so fed up with the way you guys walk all over me."

Lincoln sighed. "Lucy, I'm sorry you feel like we've been ignoring you. But you could've just talked to any of us about it."

"Sigh. You're right. I should have made more of an effort to tell you guys how I felt."

"We'll talk to the rest of our sisters when we get home. And whether or not you really believe nothing matters, I can tell you, you definitely matter to me. And I know the rest of our sisters feel the same."

Lucy gave Lincoln a light smile. "Thank you, Lincoln. And sorry you had to...kill that guy."

"I'll be fine." Lincoln sighed. "It...wasn't exactly the first." He hadn't really thought about it but he already killed Krombopulous Michael before this. He supposed if it was for the greater good, then there was nothing wrong with killing people like him and the guy that attacked Lucy. Right?

...

Inside the building, the rich were currently have a feast accompanied by some classic music as a man at the end of the table tapped his champagne glass with a teaspoon. He then stood up and raised his glass. "To another successful year of the festival, pitting poor people against each other for thousands of years." The rest of the rich people raised their glasses before clapping for the man. He then started to hear an odd type of music coming from behind him. He turned around. "Wait, w-where is that music coming from?" The door was then kicked open by Rick, along with Arthricia. His suit was playing 'Feels Good' by Tony! Toni! Toné!. The man then put his hands on his hips. "What is the meaning of this?"

"I'm not here to judge. I'm just a guy from another planet." Rick explained. "But this girl is one of your poor people, and I guess you guys felt like it was okay to subject her to inhuman conditions because there was no chance of it ever hurting you. It's sort of the socio-political equivalent of, say, a suit of power armor around you. But now things are evened out, so, Arthricia?" Rick stepped back to allow Arthricia to do what she came here for.

She first started with using a knife that came out of her arm to slice off the man's head, causing everyone else to gasp. She then flew onto the table and started shooting lasers at everyone. "Happy festival, cocksuckers!"

"Geez." Rick remarked.

"You want to get in on this, Rick?" Arthricia asked.

Rick put his hand up. "No, I really...honestly, I-I've had my fill. It's gratuitous at this point."

"You sure you don't want to join in? This is really amazing." Arthricia said as she used her flamethrower.

"Yeah, but...ah, all right. Fuck it." Rick lifted off with his rocket feet before using them to burn the heads of a couple rich people.

Once the two had finished off slaughtering all of the rich folk, the two then started to celebrate by dancing over a pool of their blood. "Okay, now it's time we do a little dancing to...to Tony! Toni! Toné!" Rick cheered. "Look at my fucking feet, motherfucker!"

"Whoo! Aw, yeah!" Arthricia cheered. "I don't know what song that is, but I fucking love it!"

"'Feels Good'." Rick answered. "It's a fucking hit song. Topped the charts, I think. Ho, ho!"

...

After the two were finished dancing, Rick spent the rest of the night repairing his cruiser while Lincoln and Lucy attempted to go to sleep inside it. Rick kept his armour on to deter anyone that attempted to attack them along with Arthricia, who assisted Rick to make up for betraying them. By morning, he was ready to go. "Hey, thanks for helping me, Rick. You're a pretty great guy." Arthricia said after giving Rick the armour back.

"Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck you for shooting my liver. I'll see you around." Rick said before walking back over to his cruiser.

Lincoln and Lucy had recently just woke up. Lincoln sighed. "I really can't wait to get off this planet."

"Same." Lucy added.

As Lincoln got into the cruiser, one of the townspeople remarked. "It won't be easy creating a new society from the ground up."

"Well, a helpful rule might be if you need something, you get it." Rick suggested. "Pretty simple, right?"

"I need food." Another townsperson said.

"Who's got food for that guy?" Rick asked.

"I do, but this is for me." Said a man holding some bread.

"Can't you make some more?" The other man asked.

"Oh, sure. And while I'm making food for everyone, who takes care of my kids?"

"I'll take care of your kids, if I get some extra food for it."

"Extra food?"

"Well, I'm not gonna do extra work if we all get the same."

"All right, okay, fair is fair. If you do extra work, you get extra food." Rick said as he got into the cruiser.

"If you want my advice, you should listen to each other more and take other people's feeling into account." Lucy added before getting into the cruiser. The townspeople muttered amongst themselves in agreement as the cruiser set off.

As Rick flew the cruiser through space, he then decided to ask. "Man, Lucy, you really missed an opportunity to just do whatever you want back there. Don't you regret it?"

Lucy shook her head. "No. Not really." Lucy decided to think more about what Rick had said to her. While she agreed with the idea of taking control of your life and not letting people hold you back, she wasn't sure about the idea of doing it at the expense of others. Nor did she agree with idea that her friends and family were holding her back. Perhaps the idea of nothing mattering was a lot more complicated than Rick had made it out to be. One thing's for sure, she did not like seeing other people suffer. Though, she wondered how Rick had ended up feeling that way. What happened to him that caused him to take so much joy from slaughtering people? She shuddered at the thought. At least it gave her some inspiration for her poetry.


	23. The Dead House

Lincoln yawned as he woke up. After getting out of bed and stretching his arms and legs, he sighed upon opening the door, seeing the rest of his siblings standing in line for the bathroom. It wasn't exactly fun having to wait for the bathroom, though he supposed it couldn't be helped when you have ten other siblings. He went to stand behind the last person that woke up before him, Lucy. "Morning, Lucy."

"Morning." A still tired Lucy mumbled.

There was a moment of silence for a moment before Lincoln decided to start up a conversation to alleviate the bordom. "Got any plans for today?"

"Meh." Lucy mumbled.

A thought then hit Lincoln. It had been a while since Lucy had talked about ghosts or spirits. In fact, he hadn't heard her talk about them ever since the valentines day incident. He supposed after that, she probably wouldn't have wanted to think about ghosts for a while. "Seen any ghosts lately or anything?"

Lucy suddenly jolted awake. "N-No! I haven't seen anything."

Lincoln gave Lucy an odd look before shrugging. He supposed she still didn't want to talk about that kind of subject. "Ok." After that, the two were silent until it was their turn to use the bathroom.

...

After using the bathroom, Lucy retreated to her room, slamming the door shut and leaning against it. "Sigh. I don't know if I should keep you guys a secret any longer. Maybe I should tell them." There was a moment of silence, as if Lucy was listening to someone. "Are you guys really okay with that?" Another moment of silence. "Sigh. Ok. I really hope this won't be a mistake."

...

Lucy entered the garage, seeing Rick doing what he usually does. Working on some kind of device. "Hey, Grandpa Rick?"

"What?"

"How would you react if I told you that ghosts were real?"

Rick put down the device and turned around. "Well, I'd say that's another thing you and your great grandma have in common. She used to say the same thing."

Lucy slumped. "So, I'm guessing you don't believe in them then?"

"I never said that. I used to think they were bullshit until I found that for some alien races, their ghosts are visible after they die." Rick then shuddered, as if remembering something unpleasant.

"Huh. So, have you ever made anything that lets people see them?"

"Honestly Lucy, the afterlife isn't something I've ever been interested in. Lemme guess though, you want me to make some kind of device that lets all of your siblings see and hear ghosts. Am I right?"

Lucy nodded. "I'd really appreciate that."

"Not like I have a goddamn choice..." Rick grumbled to himself before he got to work.

...

"So, what exactly was it you wanted to show us, Lucy?" Lori asked as she, the rest of her siblings (apart from Lily) and Rick all stood outside Lucy's room. Apart from Lucy, they were all wearing goggles that Rick had made for them. Rick had not yet explained what the goggles did.

"I...can't explain it." Lucy admitted. "Just brace yourselves. This might come across as a bit of a shock."

With that, Lucy took a deep breath and opened the door to their room. Like Lucy had predicted, all of her siblings gasped in shock as they found themselves staring face to face with none other than themselves. Specifically, the ghosts of themselves. "Ok, gotta admit, I wasn't expecting this." Rick admitted.

"This is pretty messed up dudes." Luna remarked.

Lori stared at the ghostly versions of her siblings until she finally found her voice. "Okay, I literally have so many questions." She turned to Lucy. "First off, you've actually been able to see ghosts this whole time?"

"Why would I make that up?" Lucy asked.

"But...how?!" Lori and everyone else then looked at Rick, as if expecting an answer from him.

"Hey, how should I know?" Rick asked." I mean, m-maybe it's like Beetlejuice or something. Maybe goths can just see ghosts for whatever reason."

Lori sighed in annoyance. "Okay. Second." She gestured to the ghosts. "Just...how?! How are we literally being haunted by ourselves?!"

"We literally have no idea." Ghost Lori replied.

"The last thing we saw was Grandpa Rick work on his ionic defibulizer. Then all of a sudden, we all woke up in Lucy's room." Lincon explained.

"I'm not certain, but I think this happened because we never game them a proper funeral and just buried them in our back yard." Lucy guessed.

The alive siblings began to frown as they began to think about the implications of this situation. "It's okay. We're not mad at you guys for replacing us or anything." Ghost Lori reassured them. "We totally understand."

"Well, I'm a little mad." Ghost Lucy added. "Did you really have to bury me like this?" She gestured to what she was wearing. She, along with Lincoln and Lori, were wearing the same outfits that they wore on valentines day.

Ghost Lana then slumped with an upset look on her face. "It kinda sucks that no one knows we're gone." She then perked up. "But it's not like it's you guys' fault we're dead."

Lori sighed, trying ignore the feeling of guilt that was starting to rear its head. "Okay, third question, where's your Rick?"

"We have no idea." Ghost Lincoln responded. "We haven't seen him since we died."

Luan nudged Luna before whispering. "Do you think he's..." She pointed downwards.

Luna gave her an appalled look. "Dude! Come on."

"Ok, just one more question." Lori said. "Have you guys literally just been staying in this room this whole time?"

"Like, I didn't get it when I was alive, but this room is actually totes comfy." Ghost Leni explained.

"I wasn't sure if it was a good idea for them to leave the room." Lucy explained. "Besides, I've been telling them everything that's happened to us anyway."

Ghost Lola then scowled at her living counterpart. "Yeah, speaking of that, how could you ruin MY pageant career?! You know how many years I put into that?!"

Lola started to look nervous. "I...I.."

"Give it a rest Lola." Ghost Lana chastised. "It's not as if you can do pageants any more anyway."

Ghost Lola huffed and crossed her arms. "Point taken."

"Don't you guys want to...move on though?" Lori asked.

Ghost Luna shrugged. "Eh. This isn't so bad."

"Sorry for keeping this a secret from you guys." Lucy then said. "I didn't think you guys would've reacted well if I told you earlier."

"It's okay, Lucy." Lori then put her hands on her hips as she then addressed the ghosts. "But it's not right, you guys just staying in here. From now on, feel free to go wherever you want."

"Are you guys sure about this?" Lucy asked. "None of you have ever dealt with ghosts before."

Lincoln looked downwards. "Well it is their house after all..." He looked back up. "Besides, it's just another version of us. What could go wrong?"

...

After that meeting, everyone went back to their own rooms, attempting to go about their day as normal along with their ghostly counterparts. While Lori still felt guilty about what happened to them as well as replacing them, she still felt really uncomfortable around them. Not just because they were basically the ghosts of themselves but also because they were a dark reminder that they didn't really belong in this world. Despite this, she put on a friendly face around them. "So...what is it you guys do now, exactly?"

Ghost Lori shrugged. "Not much. I mean, we literally have no responsibilities any more." She then sighed. "Still, it'd be nice to talk to Bobby again."

"Um...you mean my Bobby?"

Ghost Lori chucked. "I mean, he was my Bobby first." She gave an apologetic look to Lori upon seeing a deep frown appear on her face. "Oh, sorry."

"I-It's fine!" Lori said, trying to hide her discomfort. She then got out her phone. "I guess there's no harm in letting you say something to him."

To Lori's surprise, Ghost Lori was able to grab the phone from her. Ghost Lori then squealed. "Ooh, you have no idea how much I've missed this!" She quickly texted a message to Bobby before taking a selfie and sending it to him.

Lori then snatched the phone back from her. "What are you doing?! You can't just send Bobby a selfie!"

Ghost Lori gave Lori another apologetic look. "Oh. Right. Sorry."

Meanwhile at the Santiago's house, Bobby jumped and screamed in horror after receiving a photo of a corpse-like Lori with hollow eyes.

...

Later on, Leni was in her room, using her sewing machine. As she was sewing, Ghost Leni stared at her wistfully. "Aww. I wish I could start making dresses again."

Leni smiled. "Well, you could help me out. Could you bring over that fabric over there?" She said, pointing towards the fabric.

Ghost Leni smiled. "Sure!" As she floated over to get the fabric, Leni went back to concentrating on sewing. "Got it!"

Leni looked up before screaming at sight of a floating sheet. "Aah! A ghost!" She then started to run around the room in a panic.

"A ghost?! Where?!" Ghost Leni shrieked before joining Leni in panicking, which unfortunately made Leni think she was chasing after her.

...

Luna was trying to practice with her guitar though she was finding Ghost Luna's presence too distracting. She sighed, putting down her guitar and deciding to just start up a conversation. "So, what's it like being a ghost?"

Ghost Luna shrugged. "It's not so bad. Don't really feel anything but I never get hungry or tired or anything like that."

"Sure you don't wish you could move on or something?"

"It's fine." Ghost Luna started to look downcast. "Besides, after what I did, I'm probably lucky to just be a ghost."

Luna's eyes widened for a second before she laughed nervously. "Eh he he, say don't you wanna have a go at your old axe?" She quickly picked up her guitar.

Ghost Luna then perked up as Luna handed her the guitar. "Really? Man, it's been so long. Hope I'm not rusty."

Ghost Luna then started a very long riff. A riff that mesmerised Luna. After a while, Luna's eyes widened as she started to become aware of her surroundings. Her room had started to look like Hell itself while Ghost Luna's appearance started to become more and more demonic. As Luna started to sweat from the heat, it was suddenly over as all of a sudden, everything was back to normal. "So, how was that?" Ghost Luna asked.

"P-Pretty good!" Luna nervously said. While Luna would admit that it was one of the most awesome riffs she ever heard, it still left her terrified.

...

Later on, Luan was in her room, practicing a comedy routine. "So I said: You wouldn't give him any change? What are ya? Hobophobic?" Luan then groaned in frustration. "Ugh! That sucked. Come on Luan. You can do better than just puns."

"Watcha doing?" Ghost Luan asked.

"Gah!" Luan jumped. "Oh hey. Just trying to think of some jokes that don't completely suck." Luan couldn't help but envy Ghost Luan a bit. Not having to really appease anyone any more. "Don't suppose you gotta any ideas?"

"Sorry. But I guess you don't have a ghost of a chance!" Ghost Luan giggled. "Get it?"

"Uhh, hehe..." Luan laughed half-heartedly, not really finding it all that funny.

"Actually, I have been working on my clown act." Ghost Luan spun around before assuming the appearance of a clown. However, Luan found her appearance less funny and more horrifying. She was wearing a silver suit, similar to Italian opera clowns and had wild orange hair. Her face had two red lines starting above her eyes, streaming down the cheeks, and ending at the corners of her mouth. Her nose looked like it was painted red. What really disturbed Luan though was the demonic, orange eyes, the sharp yellow teeth and the weirdly large forehead. "So, does this float your boat?"

Luan couldn't even bring herself to do a fake laugh at that one.

...

Like her other siblings, Lynn soon discovered that while the ghosts were unable to touch most things, they were still somehow able to interact with things that they had a strong connection to when they were alive. In Lynn's case, it was her sports equipment, which gave her the idea to try playing game of soccer against herself. Lynn currently had the ball and was running towards the goal before Ghost Lynn suddenly rose up from the ground in front of her, causing Lynn to jump backwards. "Wah!"

Ghost Lynn took advantage of this and stole the ball from Lynn. She dribbled it back towards her goal before taking a shot and scoring a goal. GOAL! Woo hoo!" Ghost Lynn cheered before starting a victory dance. "Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner!"

An annoyed Lynn then approached her. "Hey, that's not fair! You cheated! You didn't win at all!"

"I said I WON!" Ghost Lynn suddenly bellowed in a thunderous, demonic voice, her face a look of absolute fury.

This made Lynn shrink back in fear. "O-Ok." She said meekly.

...

Lincoln was currently in the living room, playing a game of Muscle Fish with Ronnie Anne. "You're going down, Ronnie Anne!" Lincoln taunted.

"Fat chance Lame-O!" Ronnie Anne shot back as the two fought against each other.

As they kept playing, neither of them were aware of Ghost Lincoln watching them play as Lincoln wasn't wearing his goggles. He sighed as he recalled the last thing he had said to Ronnie Anne. As he watched the TV, he wondered if there was someway he could communicate with them.

"Come on!" Lincoln grunted as he had managed to get Ronnie Anne's character down to her last slither of health. All of a sudden, the game was interrupted as screen was now filled with red static. "What the?"

"Uh, what just happened?" Ronnie Anne asked.

As a low humming noise came from the TV, both Lincoln and Ronnie Anne could barely make out an image appearing on it. To both their horror, it appeared to be an image of Lincoln; grinning with hollow eyes. Lincoln immediately got up and turned the TV off. "Ha ha, gotcha!"

Ronnie Anne gave Lincoln a confused look. "Huh?"

"I-It was a prank. Man, you should have seen the look on your face!" Lincoln bluffed, inwardly praying that Ronnie Anne would buy it.

Ronnie Anne stared at Lincoln for a moment before she started snickering. "Wow. That actually got me. Not bad, Lincoln." She gave Lincoln a light punch on the arm as he laughed nervously.

...

"Woo hoo!" Lana cheered as she dived into a mud puddle at the park. She giggled as she rolled around and played in the mud.

"Woo hoo!" Lana heard Ghost Lana cheer as she too dived into the mud. Somehow, Ghost Lana seemed to have dived deeper than Lana as she wasn't resurfacing.

Lana stared at the spot that Ghost Lana dived into. "Uh, hello? Ghost me?"

Suddenly, a large creature made entirely of mud rose from the puddle. Lana stared at the creature in fear before it finally spoke. "Hi, Lana!"

Lana then heard a nearby woman shriek. "Swamp monster!" She looked around as everyone at the park started panicking.

...

Lola was sat in class during a show and tell. After the last classmate returned to his seat after showing off his trading cards, Lola was then called up. While Lola was once considered the most popular girl in class, her reputation had taken a massive hit after the pageant incident. Now, most of her classmates either feared her or hated her. Which was why for once, she was somewhat nervous to go up for show and tell. She faced the class, swallowing her nerves and clearing her throat. "So, instead of one of my pageant trophies, I wanted to show you this dance that I recorded." It was something that Lola had put a lot of work into. She was hoping that her new passion might help her classmates forget about the unfortunate incident that ended her pageant career.

She got out a DVD and inserted it into the DVD player. The TV then showed Lola in the living room, dressed in a ballerina outfit as she started a dance. The video was normal for a while as Lola started off with some simple moves before it suddenly cut to footage of a dark rainy alleyway. Lola could be seen in the background in her old outfit, looking downwards with her hair hanging in front of her face. It then cut back to the dancing. A moment later, it cut back to the alleyway. Everything looked the same apart from Lola had somehow gotten closer to the camera. It cut back to the dancing again. The next time it cut back to the alleyway, Lola's corpse-like face was now right up to the camera, staring intently at it. As all of Lola's classmates screamed, Lola stared at the TV, mortified.

...

"Ah, finally finished." Lisa said to herself as she admired her work. She had just finished constructing a robot that was made using some unorthodox parts including a printer, a calculator and a fire extinguisher. There wasn't much reason for her to make this robot other than to test her abilities. Just in case she was ever in a situation where she needed to make something but she didn't quite have the right tools. She had the idea after finding out about Rick's skills with recycling things into his inventions. She pushed the robot into her closet, deciding to test it later as she still had some other experiments she wanted to work on.

After going back to her desk, she suddenly heard an odd moaning sound coming from her closet. Lisa's eyes widened as she looked towards the closet. "Is...that you, alternate me?" Lisa then slowly crept towards the closet before opening it up.

Lisa then jumped back as the robot turned itself on. "Greetings, my still functioning counterpart. I have just discovered that I have the ability to possess this automaton you have created."

Lisa scratched her chin. "Fascinating. Please, tell me, what's it like controlling it?"

"It's-" The robot suddenly slumped over as it emitted a horrible, groaning sound for a few seconds, causing Lisa to stand back in fear. The robot then went back to normal. "Apologies. I must admit, I don't feel completely comfortable in this body. Something about it doesn't quite feel right."

Lisa adjusted her glasses. "I-I see. Hmm. This does give me an idea though."

...

"Yo, Rick! Where you at?" Rick called out as he searched the house. Ever since the meeting, he'd been curious to see if his ghost was actually around. He supposed it would have been interesting to talk to a dead Rick. Eventually, he went into the garage and as luck would have it, his ghost was there, just huddled in a corner with his back to Rick. Rick slowly approached his counterpart. It turned out he was looking at a photo of all the siblings. "Uh, hello?"

"I'll never give up on you, kids." Ghost Rick suddenly said. "I know you're out there...somewhere."

Rick waved his hand in front of the ghost's face. "Hello? Your grandkids are upstairs. Are you even listening?"

Ghost Rick took no notice of Rick and simply kept talking to himself. "I was a fool, kids. I treated you guys like crap. I swear, if I ever see you kids again, I'll make it up to you. I'll be better. I promise."

Rick stared at the ghost, suddenly feeling extremely uncomfortable with what he was hearing. He then heard someone clearing their throat from behind him. "Grandpa Rick?"

"WHOA! Hey, Lisa! What's going on?" Rick turned around, trying to act casual.

Lisa raised an eyebrow but otherwise didn't think much of Rick's behaviour. "I believe I may have found a solution to this ghost problem we're having, though I require your help."

"Oh, hey, that's great!" Rick said as he started to push Lisa out of the garage. "W-Why don't we talk about it in your room?"

...

Lily was in the living room, playing with some toy blocks, completely unaware of her ghostly siblings that were around her, watching her. Ghost Lori sighed. "Oh, Lily. I'm sorry we had to leave you like this."

"Least she still thinks we're around." Ghost Luna argued.

Meanwhile, the live siblings, apart from Lisa, were all having a meeting in Lori and Leni's room. "It's not fair!" Lola cried. "Everyone was just starting to forget about what happened! Now they're all scared of me again!"

"You mean they weren't always scared of you?" Lynn snarked. Lola glared at her and gave an angry growl in response, causing Lynn to raise her hands defensively. "Ok, ok! Sorry."

Lori pinched the bridge of her nose. "Okay. I'll admit, we probably should have thought this through. Letting them hang around the house was a bad idea. We need to get rid of them."

"That seems a little callous." Lucy argued.

"Easy for you to say! You're the only one who hasn't had any problems with them." Lynn countered.

Lucy shrugged. "I'm used to dealing with ghosts."

"Getting rid of them isn't necessarily a bad thing for them." Lori assured them. "All we need to do is just help them move on. Right?"

"Are you sure that's what they want?" Lucy asked.

"Why wouldn't they? If we died, we'd rather just move on. Right?" There was a moment of silence as none of the siblings were sure how to answer that. "Lucy, haven't you ever talked to any of these ghosts about the afterlife?"

Lucy shook her head. "None of them knew what the afterlife was like. Or if there even was one."

"So, if we just dig up their bodies, take them to the graveyard and give them a proper funeral, does that mean they'll move on?" Lincoln asked.

Lori sighed. "There's no way we could do something like that without getting caught."

"To be fair, I didn't say that was definitely the reason they were haunting us." Lucy added. "It's possible that they're around due to some unfinished business."

There was a moment of silence as everyone thought on what could be. "Do you think it could be something to do with valentines day?" Lincoln asked.

Lori clicked her fingers. "That's it. Maybe if we showed them how them how well things went with our dates, it'll help them move on."

Luan frowned. "Well, what am I supposed to do then?"

Lori gave her a sympathetic look. "Ooh, sorry. Um...maybe you and Lynn could show them how fine you both are without them."

Lynn shrugged. "That probably won't be much of a problem."

"You got rejected both times didn't you?" Lincoln asked.

"Huh?" Lynn raised an eyebrow in confusion before her eyes widened. "Oh right! Yeah. That happened." Truthfully, Lynn had realised on the day that she didn't really have any feelings on Francisco. She just thought she had due to feeling way too dehydrated when looking at him. She made up the story about getting rejected to placate Luan.

Lucy frowned. "Rocky hasn't exactly been talking to me lately."

"Well, try making up with him then!" Lori ordered. "Let's just try this. Tomorrow, I'm taking the other me to show her how things are going with Bobby. Luna, Lincoln, Lucy, you guys do the same."

...

The next day at school, Lucy verbally sighed as she approached the room where the mortician's club were having their meeting while her ghost followed behind her. It was lucky for her that there just happened to be a meeting today. As soon as she opened the door, all eyes were suddenly on her, making her lose her nerve for a second. She approached Haiku. "Haiku, I-"

Haiku raised her hand. "Stop. I need to apologise for avoiding you. Like you said, you couldn't control yourself. I shouldn't have held a grudge over that."

"We too would like to apologise." Bertrand added. "I'll admit, we were a little shaken by that incident but what kind of morticians club would we be to let it get to us that much?"

Lucy stared at the rest of her club in surprise, not expecting to make up with then so easily. "You're...really okay with me around?"

"Well to be honest, we were a little unsure what to do until Rocky argued on your behalf." Lucy looked at Rocky, who gave her a light smile. "If Rocky wasn't bothered any more, I don't see why the rest of us should be." Lucy smiled back at Rocky in gratitude.

...

After the meeting had concluded, Lucy lingered in the club room so she could to Ghost Lucy. "So, what do you think?" Lucy asked.

"About what?"

"About me and Rocky. Despite what happened, it turned out all I needed to was just be myself to get Rocky to like me."

"Sigh. I guess it's nice that Rocky's okay at least." Ghost Lucy said though there was a twinge of jealousy in her voice.

There was an awkward moment of silence as Lucy was then expecting something to happen. "So...do you feel anything."

"I don't feel anything any more." Ghost Lucy replied. "Why do you ask."

"Sigh. Never mind."

...

Upon coming home, Lucy found out that her siblings hadn't had much better luck. They were all gathered in the living room as Lori told her story of what happened. Lincoln had already told his and like her ghost, Ghost Lincoln didn't have a massive reaction to Ronnie Anne or even Clyde. Likewise, Ghost Lori seemed more jealous of Lori than anything else. "So that didn't really help at all." Lori finished. "What about you Luna? Did you get anywhere with her?"

Luna shook her head, frowning. "She didn't want to come."

"What? Why not?"

Luna started to look downcast. "She, uh...she said that she didn't deserve to see Sam after what she did."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a moment before Lori spoke. "Oh, well, that's just great! Now what are we supposed to do to get rid of them?"

"Is having them around really that bad?" Lucy asked.

"Uh, yeah? Of course it is!" Lori snapped. Do you like having a constant reminder that we don't really belong in this universe? All they're doing is causing us problems! We'd be better off without them."

Lucy suddenly looked nervous. "Um, Lori? You might want to put on your goggles and turn around."

Lori did just that. "Gah!" She then jumped as all the ghost Loud siblings were behind her, arms folded and giving her an annoyed look.

"So, you'd be better off without us huh?" Ghost Lori asked.

"I-I-It's not like that!" Lori stuttered in fear.

"Oh, it's fine. If you want us to leave so much then we'll just go."

"...huh?" Lori's mouth hung open, not expecting that response.

"If you had that much of a problem with us, we could have literally just talked about it and worked something out but we know when we're not wanted. So we'll just leave."

"Uh, is this a bad time?" Rick asked as he came into the room.

"What do you want, Rick?!" Lori snapped.

Rick raised his hands defensively. "Whoa. Chill out Lori. I literally just came in here. I came to tell you that I've come up with a solution for the ghosts."

Lisa then came, pushing in a long trolley which had robot versions of each of the dead siblings standing on it. "After finding out about the apparitions' ability to make contact with certain items that they had a connection to in life, me and Grandpa Rick have been working on these robotic bodies for them to possess." Lisa explained.

"It's kinda like that game about animatronics. You know, the one with the insane lore that makes no sense whatsoever? Anyway, I'm then gonna find a universe where everyone is a robot and is also one where all them happened to just die so they can take their place." Rick finished.

"You mean...we'll be able to continue our lives?" Ghost Lincoln asked.

Ghost Leni squealed. "You're the best, Grandpa Rick!"

"Wait, I thought they could only contact things they had a connection with? How are they gonna possess those robots?" Lincoln asked.

"Simple. Each of them was made with one of your stuff." Rick replied.

"WHAT?!" All the siblings shouted.

"Don't worry about it, I'll pay you back for them later." Rick explained. He then addressed the ghosts. "You guys follow Lisa into the garage. I'll be with you in a sec."

Lori glanced back and forth between the ghosts and Rick as the ghosts followed Lisa out of the room. "So...that's it then?"

"Yes, that's it." Rick replied. "These guys can live their lives, you guys don't have to deal with ghosts. It's a happy ending for everyone. What more do you want?"

Apart from Lori, the siblings all glanced between each other before shrugging and going back to their usual activities, simply glad that the ordeal was over with. Rick then left to do his work.

Lori however, found herself staring into nothing. She couldn't help but extremely uneasy about the whole situation. Not just because of how sour things got at the end, but because of how the situation happened in the first place. None of this would have happened if it wasn't for Rick, Lori thought bitterly to herself. It's always because of Rick.

...

After sending the other siblings to another universe, Rick then put the goggles back on, curious to see if anything had changed with Ghost Rick. To his surprise, Ghost Rick was no longer in the corner. "What are you looking for?" Lisa asked.

Rick took the goggles off. "Oh! Uh, nothing." A thought then hit Rick. Lisa had been in the garage a couple times with the goggles. Didn't she notice Ghost Rick? "Hey, uh, have you seen anything weird in here lately?"

Lisa gave Rick a confused look. "I can't say that I have. Why do you ask?"

"Eh, no reason." Rick started to wonder if he just imagined the ghost. No, that's stupid, he must have been real. Right?


	24. The Wedding Squanchers

Rick and the Loud siblings were in the dining room, eating breakfast. Lynn Sr. and Rita were absent as they had gone for a week-long summer vacation, leaving Rick in charge of the house. As she ate her cereal, Lori had a dour look on her face as she had been in a bitter mood as of late. "Are you okay, Lori?" Leni suddenly asked.

"Hmm?" Lori looked up from her cereal. "I'm fine, Leni."

Everyone then heard knocking at the door. Leni stood up. "Oh! I'll get it." She ran over and opened the door, only to yipe and jump back as a large, brain-resembling thing with metal parts in it floated into the house and into the dining room.

An automated voice then came from it as Leni followed it back into the dining room. "Delivery for the Loud family."

Lola dropped her spoon in disgust. "Eww! What is that thing?"

"It looks awesome!" Lana remarked.

"It's a Courier Flap, it's like the intergalactic version of UPS but less off-putting." Rick explained as he reached his hand inside the courier before retrieving a metallic, egg-shaped item. "OH SHIEEET! It looks like an egg-vite from Birdperson! It must be time for his annual Oscar party. By the way, our TV signals take lightyears to reach his planet, nobody tell him that Braveheart wins."

Rick cracked the egg open as a miniature hologram emerged from it. Upon seeing images of both Birdperson and Tammy coming from it, Rick started to frown. "Greetings, this is Birdperson." Birdperson's voice came from it.

"And Tammy!" Tammy's voice then added.

"Inviting you to Planet Squanch for our mate-melding ceremony." Birdperson's voice continued.

"Ughhhh..." Rick groaned in disgust as he placed a napkin over the hologram and went over to dump it into the bin.

Before he dumped it in, Lori managed to hear Tammy say. "If you're not a bird, that means we're getting married!"

"Tammy and Birdperson are getting married?!" Lori exclaimed in shock.

Leni squealed. "That is totes romantic!"

"Would you like to RSVP or send a gift?" The Courier Flap asked.

"No." Rick replied. "Weddings are basically funerals with cake. If I wanted to watch someone throw their life away, I'd hang out with Lori's boyfriend all day."

"Excuse me?" Lori snapped.

"Affirmative. Returning to sender." The Courier Flap then floated towards the front door.

"Wait, hold on a moment, Courier Flap!" Lincoln called out.

The Courier Flap turned around and went back into the dining room. "Staying."

"Grandpa Rick, why don't you want to go to Birdperson's wedding? Isn't he your best friend?" Lincoln asked.

"Uhhhh, l-l-let's not get carried away, Lincoln." Rick responded.

"Confirm, shipping Lincoln." The Courier Flap suddenly said before it hovered over Lincoln and fully shoved him into its underside before flying away through the open front door and into sky.

"Lincoln!" All the sisters cried out, apart from Lily who was just confused by the whole ordeal, as they ran outside after the Courier Flap. As it flew into space, the sisters could barely hear Lincoln crying out in fear.

Lori ran back inside. "Where is it taking him?"

"I assume Planet Squanch, 6000 lightyears across the galaxy." Rick replied, still eating his cereal.

"What?!" That's insane!" Lori screeched.

"Yeah, I know. Now we have to go to the wedding."

...

As Lori and the rest of her sisters got themselves ready for the wedding, Lori tried not to think about Lincoln as Rick had assured them that he'll be safe. However, Lori soon found herself thinking about Tammy. She and Tammy had been close friends since elementary school. While she respected the relationship she had made with Birdperson, despite the age difference, she hadn't expected Tammy to just go off and marry an alien. Especially since she had only known him for about four months since meeting at that party in April. Lori thought she had gotten used to these weird events happening in her life but even this seemed a bit too much to swallow. She wondered what her other friends thought about this as she then decided to text Carol, someone who had also been Tammy's friend since elementary school, despite Lori and her's rivalry.

Lori: Hey Carol

Carol: Hi Lori

Lori: Can you believe that Tammy is actually getting married to Birdperson?

Carol: WHAT?! SERIOUSLY?

Lori: Didn't you know?

Carol: This is the first I've heard of it

Carol: Hang on a moment

Lori frowned. As strange as this already was, it was even stranger that none of her other friends knew about this. In fact, why didn't she tell them until the last minute. A short moment later, Lori received another text from Carol.

Carol: Okay, nvm. Apparently the invitation is on its way

Lori supposed the invitation was just late. Still, she couldn't help but question Tammy's decisions. She decided she'd talk to Tammy about this when she arrived at Planet Squanch. A while later, she received another text from Carol.

Carol: OMG WHAT IS THAT THING?!

Lori supposed a Courier Flap had arrived at her house. She couldn't help but chuckle, imagining how Carol would have reacted to that.

...

Planet Squanch was a planet with a cloudy, blue sky, red grass and strangely, furry buildings. Since everyone squeezing inside the cruiser would have made for an unpleasant ride, Rick simply used his portal gun to get them there. Apart from Rick, all of the sisters had dressed themselves up for the wedding. Luan had even cleaned her hair up, which now resembled a jester's hat. At the place where they arrived at, Squanchy, who was now wearing a bowtie, was there to greet them. "Rick Sanchez, you psycho bag of squanch!"

"Hey, what's up, Squanchy?" Rick greeted as he took a sip from his flask.

"Hi, Squanchy!" All the sisters greeted.

"Luna! Lori! Girls! You all made it!" Squanchy then frowned before turning to Rick. "Hey, where's your son and his squanch?"

"They're on vacation. I-I wouldn't worry about them. They probably wouldn't have added much to this anyway." Rick explained.

"What about Lincoln?"

"He's on the way."

Squanchy then noticed Lily, who was being carried by Lori. She was wearing the cutest little white dress. "Aww, what a squanchy little squanch!"

"Like, what does squanch mean?" Leni asked. She was currently holding a suit in a dry cleaning bag.

"It depends on the context, Leni." Rick explained. "You just say what's in your squanch and people understand."

Leni scratched her head. "But, I don't know what's in my squanch." She then gasped. "Was I suppose to bring a squanch?"

Squanchy gave Rick an odd look. "Is she okay?"

"She's fine." Rick stated. "You just have to be really literal with her."

Squanchy shrugged before walking off, gesturing for them to follow him. "Come on in, guys. The guest are having cocksquanches."

Rick and the sisters all followed after him, apart from Leni, who lingered behind, still trying to figure out what a squanch was. At that moment, a Courier Flap then flew by and dropped off Lincoln onto the ground next to Leni. He groaned as he laid on the ground, covered in some kind of green goo. Leni gave him a look of concern. "Linky! Are you okay?"

"I'm alright." Lincoln said as he got up. "I never want to do that again though."

Leni smiled and held up the suit. "Great! We're at Tammy and Birdperson's wedding so I need you to clean up and put this on quickly!"

...

After Lincoln had gotten ready, Squanchy led everyone to the outdoor meet up party where they could see all of Birdperson's friends and relatives. They could even recognise most of them as Rick's friends that had come to his party. The only one of Rick's friends that wasn't able to attend was Mr. Poopybutthole, who had recently just had his own wedding and was currently on his honeymoon. As everyone split up to mingle with the other guests, Lori soon spotted Carol, who was wearing a purple dress. As they each saw each other, they both screamed in joy and ran towards each other for a hug. "I can't believe you made it!" Lori said as she let Carol go.

Carol grimaced. "It...wasn't exactly a fun ride." She went back to smiling. "Still, can't believe Tammy's really getting married."

"I know right?"

The two then heard another scream as Tammy ran towards them to give them a hug. She was currently wearing a cream coloured dress. "I'm so happy you both made it!"

"You know we wouldn't have missed this for the world." Lori stated. Lori then noticed the pine cone on Tammy's finger. "That's a...nice ring."

Tammy smiled. "Thanks. It was Birdperson's grandmother's. She fought a squirrel for it."

Lori then started to look around. She didn't see any of Tammy's other friends here. "So, are we literally the only ones you invited?"

Tammy sighed. "Yeah. This is a really important day for me. I thought it might've been best to just invite my closest friends."

Lori and Carol gave each other concerned glances before Lori spoke. "Tammy, I wanted to ask...are you sure you know what you're doing?"

"Yeah, this seems a little quick. We just hope you're not making a mistake." Carol added.

Tammy gave them a confidant smile. "Oh, don't worry. I know exactly what I'm doing."

Lori glanced at Carol again before sighing. "Well, if you're so certain than...I one hundred percent support you in this."

Carol nodded. "Yeah, me too."

Tammy frowned for a moment before smiling again. "Thanks, girls. Oh and Lori, I know this is a little late to ask but since this wedding's already pretty unconventional...would you be my maid of honor?"

Lori gasped. "Tammy...of course I'll do it!"

Meanwhile, Birdperson approached Rick, Lincoln and Luan as they left gifts at the gift table. He was currently wearing some kind of red mask with a feather sticking out from the top. "Rick, I am pleased you and your family could witness my melding with Tammy."

Lincoln grinned. "No way were we gonna miss this! This looks like the craziest wedding ever!"

"Yeah, I just hope you got a pre-meld." Rick responded.

Luan elbowed him in annoyance. "Rick!"

"What?! It's just a practical way of making sure that when she's done with you, you can get one of your balls back."

"Geez Rick, why don't you tell us how you really feel about the wedding?" Luan snarked.

"Gladly. It sucks." Rick then stormed off.

Lincoln gave Birdperson an apologetic look. "Sorry about that."

Birdperson didn't show any reaction to Rick's words. "It is okay Lincoln. I understand how Rick feels."

As Lynn and Lana went to play with the other children while Lola was showing off her pink dress to the aliens and Lucy was starting conversations with them, Leni was sat down, playing with Lily before the only other two humans at the party approached her. Tammy's parents. Her mother was a blonde woman wearing a red dress while her father was a brunette wearing a suit. "Aww, what a cute baby." The mother gushed.

"You two must be Lori's sisters." The father said, shaking Leni's hand.

"We're Tammy's parents...Pat and Donna Guetermann." Donna continued as she shook Leni's hand.

"Hi! I'm Leni." Leni greeted. "Say, did you two bring your squanches? I'm not sure if I forgot mine." Pat and Donna gave each other confused glances.

Rick was at the bar, being served by a blue, dinosaur-like alien. Lincoln approached him. "Grandpa Rick, don't you think you should give Birdperson a bit more support? It is his big day after all."

"Birdperson's big day, Lincoln, was at Blood Ridge on Glapflap's third moon against the gromflomites!" Rick slurred, already drunk. He then gestured to the party. "This? This is a losing battle."

Lincoln put his hands on his hips. "I don't get it. What's so bad about Birdperson getting married anyway?"

"You'll understand when you're older Lincoln." Rick replied. "Word of advice though, don't try to give advice about something you know nothing about."

Lincoln then left in a huff as Rick rested his head on the bar table. A moment later, Rick then noticed that Lisa had taken a seat next to him. "Greetings, Grandpa Rick."

"What do you want Lisa."

"I've noticed that your thoughts relating to Birdperson's wedding have primarily been negative."

"Gee, how could you tell?" Rick snarked.

"To be frank, I actually agree with your views on marriage." This got Rick's attention as he lifted his head up. "I fail to see much of a point to it beyond honouring some old, out of date traditions."

"Least someone gets it." Rick mumbled.

"However, I also fail to see what your current attitude would achieve beyond gaining everyone's ire. For the sake of everyone here, would it not be best to simply put those feelings aside and put on a pleasant face? After all, Birdperson is your friend and from my experience, friends are there to make things better."

Despite his drunken state, Rick could still see the point Lisa was making. It's not as if anyone here was going to listen to him anyway. He may as well just behave. He grumbled to himself before eventually saying. "Fine."

Lisa smiled. "I knew you'd listen to reason." Lisa then left before Rick's head dropped down onto the bar table again.

"Yo, Birdperson dude!" Luna called out as she approached Birdperson at the catering table. "Hey, I was wondering, could you tell me about the times when you and Grandpa Rick hung out?"

"The road your grandfather and I walked together is soaked deeply with the blood of both friends and enemies." Birdperson responded.

"...Oh." Luna's smile dropped. She had been hoping to hear about the time they were in a band rather than this. "That's...brutal."

"It was. But the war in which we fought is far from over. We live our lives in hiding."

Something then clicked in Luna's head. "Is this because of that Galactic Federation I keep hearing about?"

Birdperson nodded. "Correct. The galactic government considers us terrorists. It's unwise of me to share these details, but I've become inebriated."

"It's okay brah. I'm actually a little tipsy myself." Luna admitted. No one seemed to have minded her taking one or two drinks.

"We have committed numerous atrocities in the name of freedom."

"But you did it all for a good cause though, right?" Luna asked.

"That is what I choose to believe."

...

The wedding was held during the evening under a beautiful, purple sky as it took place outside at the beach. Squanchy had been chosen to officiate it as he was now wearing a light brown robe. He spoke as Rick squeezed passed the guests in order to sit down. "In the name of the squanch, the six rivers, the four squanches, and the nine balls, I unite these two organisms in eternal squanch! Tammy, you may squanch your vows now."

"Birdperson..." Tammy inhaled sharply before getting out a note. "You are my seed, my worm, my earliness, and my lack of cats. I promise to be yours until your death."

"Aww..." Everyone went.

Lola sniffled as she dabbed at her eyes with a tissue. "It's so beautiful..." Lana rolled her eyes at her over dramatic twin. She had acted exactly the same at Mr. Poopybutthole's wedding.

"Nice." Squanchy remarked. "Birdperson."

"Tammy, I was approaching infertility when I met you, but there is still time. I am yours until my death."

"Aww..." Everyone went again, apart from Rick who instead groaned, still somewhat drunk.

"I now pronounce you squanch and birdperson!" Squanchy finished. Everyone began to cheer and applaud the newly married couple as they began to make out.

...

After the wedding, everyone went to the building where the wedding reception would take place. Tammy and Birdperson were in the centre of the room, sat high up on a giant nest. Hip hop music could be heard coming from the band that was hired to play for them. At his table, Lincoln was approached by a pale man in a black jacket. "I am not staring at you." The man said in a monotone voice. "I am a cyborg photographer. Just act natural. This is a candid shot. I don't require a camera so..."

Lincoln raised his hand to stop him. "I-It's okay. I don't want any photos."

"Sorry." The cyborg then went to talk to someone else. Lincoln wasn't too sure but he could've sworn that cyborg sounded like a somewhat famous animator turned let's player.

Lori tapped her glass with her tablespoon to get everyone's attention. "Attention everyone! I have something to say." Lori then looked to Tammy. "Tammy, we've literally been friends for as long as we've known each other. But when I found out about you getting married, I'll admit, I wasn't sure what to think. I thought this might be happening a little too soon. But...after seeing you two today, I can tell that you both really love each other. What I'm trying to say is I'm happy for you both and I wish you all the best!" Lori sat down as everyone lightly clapped for her. She noticed Tammy was smiling at her, however, to Lori, it looked like it was paining her to do so. Was she having second thoughts?

Before Lori could think any further about this, Rick then tapped his glass and stood up. "Uh, hi, everybody. I'm Rick." Rick got out a note and started to read from it. "You know, when I first met Birdperson, he was, uhh..." He trailed off before he crumpled up the note and started to ad-lib. Which was all part of the instructions he had left on the note. "Listen, I'm not the nicest guy in the universe because I'm the smartest. And being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets." Lori frowned upon hearing that. "Now, I haven't been exactly subtle about how little I trust marriage. I couldn't make it work and I could turn a black hole into a sun, so at a certain point, you got to ask yourself what are the odds this is legit and not just some big lie we're all telling ourselves because we're afraid to die alone? Because, you know, that's exactly how we all die... alone." A couple other siblings were starting to frown, muttering in disproval. "But... but...Here's the thing. Birdperson is my best friend and if he loves Tammy, well, then I love Tammy, too."

At that, everyone, including the siblings started applauding for Rick. Apart from Squanchy, who took off his friendship bracelet. Rick raised his glass. "To friendship, to love and to my greatest adventure yet...opening myself up to others."

"Cheers!" All of the siblings cheered as they clinked their glasses together. Rick had to admit, even if he was just putting on a happy face, this did feel kinda nice.

Tammy then stood up. "Thank you, Rick. That was beautiful. Gosh, I look around this room and I think, 'uh, Tammy, you're a high-school student from the planet Earth, and you're marrying a 40-year-old birdperson? Like, what?!'" Everyone laughed in response. "But then I think, you know, in a lot of ways, I'm not a high-school student from the planet Earth. In a lot of ways, what I really am..." Tammy's smile suddenly dropped as she got out a galactic federation badge. "Is a deep-cover agent for the Galactic Federation, and you guys are a group of wanted criminals and this entire building is, in a certain sense, surrounded."

Rick's mouth gaped open while everyone started to mutter amongst themselves in confusion. "Wait...what?" Lori muttered.

As Birdperson stared at her in confusion, Tammy then got out a large laser gun and aimed it at the guests. "Everyone here is under arrest for crimes against the Federation."

"L'Chaim!" Someone called out, drunkenly.

Birdperson stood up, which made Tammy aim the gun at him. "Tammy, what are you doing?"

"Sit your bird ass down!" Tammy threatened.

Birdperson's normally emotionless face turned into one of heartbreak. "Tammy?"

Tammy showed no hesitation as she fired at Birdperson multiple times before he fell out of the nest and onto the floor. He let out a weak caw as he died. "BIRDPERSON! NOOO!" Rick screamed as he grasped at his hair.

What then followed was an all out battle as the guests all got out their laser guns and started firing at both Tammy and her parents, who had gotten out their own guns. Rick went to take cover behind a plant while Leni grabbed a crying Lily before Luna flipped over the table as the siblings and Carol all hid behind it. Meanwhile, Lori was frozen in shock as she stayed sat down, staring at Tammy as she fired at the guests before Luna pulled her down behind the table. A group of gromflomite soldiers then crashed down from the ceiling glass before firing at the guests. "What the heck just happened?" Lincoln asked himself as he held a frightened Lana and Lola close to him.

As the battle raged on, Tammy jumped down from the nest, whacking one of the guests with the backend of her gun before continuing to fire. Rick then kicked over another table and hid behind it as he got out his portal gun. "Drop the portal gun." Rick looked up to see Tammy aiming her gun at his head. He complied and dropped the gun onto the floor. "Slide it to the centre of the room." Tammy ordered. Before he did so, he opened a small compartment on the gun and pressed a button. "Somebody confiscate that and don't damage it. They'll want it at..." Before Tammy could finish her order, the portal gun suddenly created a portal underneath it that sucked in the nearby gromflomites before exploding in a white flash that caused temporary blindness and deafness to those nearby, including Tammy, who stared around wide-eyed before rubbing her eyes.

Rick then took the opportunity to run off and quickly steal a laser gun from one of the gromflomites before firing at them, taking cover behind the stage where the band was playing. After regaining her sight and hearing, Tammy glared towards Rick before trying to make her way over to him, only to trip over a dead gromflomite. She took the gromflomite's gun before firing it at Rick, managing to destroy the gun that he was using. With not many other options at his disposal, Rick grabbed a nearby guitar before crying out a battle roar.

Before he could do anything though, he was suddenly grabbed by Squanchy. "There's no time to squanch! Get your family out of here! I got this." Squanchy then removed a tooth and opened it up before pouring a drop of green liquid from it into his mouth. Suddenly, he started mutating into a large, hulking beast as his fur turned to a dark shade of orange. He roared as he swiped one of the winged gromflomites aside like he was nothing. "How about a taste of my squanch?!" He growled in a deeper voice than usual as he kept swiping aside the gromflomites.

Meanwhile, Rick ran back to where his family and Carol had been hiding. "Come on! This way!" All of them got up and followed Rick, who was making his way outside the building.

Tammy stepped back in fear as the hulking Squanchy approached her. "Squanch this!" He stomped his foot with enough force to make Tammy fall over.

As he made his way out, Rick had managed to take another gun from a dead gromflomite as he shot at two gromflomites that were outside the building before getting into a ship resembling a van. The rest of the family and Carol got in from the back. As Rick started to set off, he looked back to see Tammy's parents chasing after them. However, their eyes were glowing red, with metallic parts having been revealed during the battle, revealing the two to be nothing more than cyborgs. "I got this!" Lynn shouted as she aimed some kind of gun at the robots. Unfortunately, all the gun did was fire confetti at them. "Dang it!"

"That's a confetti gun, you idiot!" Rick shouted as the robots grabbed hold of the ship, climbing inside just as it started to rise from the ground. "Hold on tight!" Rick then did a barrel roll, causing the buckets of worrms that were in the van to spill over. Pat accidentally slipped on one of the worms. He screamed as this caused him to fall out of the ship.

However, Donna had managed to reach Carol, wrapping her metalic hands around her neck. Luckily, Luan managed to spot a sharp knife among some cutlery as she stabbed the cyborg in the eye, causing her to scream before Luan kicked her out of the ship. Luan then closed the back doors.

They weren't in the clear yet as Rick could hear a siren coming from gromflomite's ship that was chasing after them. "God damn it! God damn it!" Rick pressed a button above him which caused all the worms to be fired out from behind the ship. The gromflomite's ship's windshield ended up getting covered in worms, causing the ship to crash into another ship, blowing up both of them. Finally in the clear, Rick flew out of the planet's atmosphere and into space.

As they flew into space, everyone finally had a moment of reprieve as the past couple events had finally started to sink in. "You kids okay?" Rick asked, being able to turn his chair around to look at them while the ship went on autopilot. "Kids?"

None of them were handling what just happened very well. Leni was trying to comfort a crying Lily, trying not to cry herself. Lisa was wide-eyed, lost deep in thought as she tried to make sense of what happened. Lana and Lola were both trembling and whimpering in fear. Lucy was silent as she stared down at the floor. Lincoln and Luna both had tears streaming down their faces as Birdperson's and possibly Squanchy's deaths finally hit them. Lynn had a deep scowl as she folded her arms and kept tapping her foot on the floor. Luan was taking some deep breaths, trying to calm herself after having stabbed Donna in the eye.

Lori was taking this harder than anyone. She stared into space as everything started to sink in. Her best friend, whom she had known for years, had revealed herself as some kind of agent for an alien government and had not only stabbed Lori in the back but had also attempted to kill her and her family. She could barely believe it. She didn't want to believe it. How was this even possible? Was she dreaming? She must be. People don't just turn out to be agents for galactic governments. That's just fantasy. Even if a lot of things that she had thought to merely be a fantasy for most of her life had turned out to be real in the last year alone. Next to her, Carol was taking it almost just as bad, rubbing her sore neck as she tried to make sense of what just happened. "Tammy was working for an alien government this whole time?" Carol muttered mostly to herself, though Lori could still hear her. "When did this happen? How is this even possible?!"

How was this even possible? At that moment, Lori knew exactly what the answer was. It was Rick. It must have been Rick. It's ALWAYS been Rick. He must have done something to Tammy to cause her to do this. A rage fueled scowl appeared on Lori's face as she then stood up and went to confront Rick. "What did you do to her?"

"Huh?"

"What did you do?!" Lori shouted. "Tammy wouldn't have done this for no reason. YOU must have done something to her!"

"Why would I want anything to do with Tammy?" Rick snapped back. "You think I give a shit about any of your friends? If anything, this is all your fault! If you didn't introduce that bitch to Birdperson in the first place, none of this would've happened! But no. Birdperson's dead all because you were BFFs with an intergalactic narc!"

Lori was now shaking with rage. "You...you..."

Lincoln approached Lori apprehensively. "Lori, please calm down."

"SHUT UP, LINCOLN, I JUST...just..." Lori hid her face behind her hands. Suddenly, she then put on a happy face. "It's fine. Everything's fine."

Everyone stared at her in confusion. "Uh...you okay dude?" Luna asked.

"Of course I'm fine!" A still smiling Lori answered. "Look, I know Tammy and she would never do this. That was probably a robot. Or a clone. Or an alien disguised as her or something. Everything's gonna be fine." Lori then went to sit back next to a slightly nervous Carol as everyone, including Rick, gave her looks of concern.

There was a moment of awkward silence before Lisa then cleared her throat. "Rick, you've told us about this Galactic Federation before but you haven't really explained what they are. May I ask that you enlighten us?"

"All the important points seem pretty clear, no?" Rick responded. "They think they control the galaxy, I disagree."

"Don't worry guys." Lori then said. "Once we get back home, I'm sure everything will go back to normal and we can just forget this ever happened."

"Yeah, about going home, we can't... ever." Rick then said.

"What?" Everyone shouted.

"Oh, these guys are looking for us now. Earth will be swarming with them."

"B...But...no. We need to go home." Lori stuttered.

"Look, anyone that wants to go back to Earth is free to go back to Earth. But here's what's gonna happen. Aliens bureaucrats are gonna arrest you. They're gonna put the intergalactic equivalent of jumper cables under your nuts and/or labia and hook them up to an alien car battery until you tell them where I am...which I guarantee you, you're not gonna know, which I guarantee they won't believe." At this point, Lola had started sobbing. "So who's homesick? By applause. Ladies? Anybody?"

"I wanna go home!" Lola cried. "I want my mommy and daddy!"

"Look, Lola, don't worry about your parents." Rick said, trying to talk in a comforting tone as he went to pick up Lola before bringing her back to his seat, letting her sit on his lap. "Once we find a place to stay, I'll go back to Earth and get your parents so they can live with us. Now don't worry about that any more. Ok?"

Lola sniffled, wiping her eyes. "Ok."

"Oh and uh, I guess I'll go get that other girl's parents too." He then looked at Carol. "Hey uh, what's your name again?"

"Carol." Carol responded. "I was your intern at that weird park of yours. Remember?"

Rick narrowed his eyes at her. "Right...hey you're not an agent too, are you?"

"Rick..." Lori growled in a warning tone.

"I'm just being careful." Rick argued. "You know thinking about it, this is a blessing in disguise. Fuck Earth. You guys realise our planet's name means dirt, right? We'll find a new world." Rick then got out a mini computer from his pocket. "Computer, how many planets in the milky way are at least 90% similar to Earth?"

The computer beeped for a moment before showing the number 765 on a purple screen. A female voice then came from it. "765 known planets." It said as Rick showed the screen to everyone.

"How many of those are outside federal jurisdiction?"

The computer started beeping again. "Three."

"See? Our cup runneth over. Now, who wants to go shopping for a brand-new mother fucking world?!" Rick cheered, pumping his fist. "All right!"

...

Soon, Rick had reached the first of the three planets. Like he said, the planet looked extremely similar to Earth. "Look at this baby! Would you even know that wasn't Earth?"

"If you're at all familiar with Earth's geography, then yes." Lisa stated.

Rick scoffed. "Whatevs. Let's go down and check her out." Rick brought the ship closer to the planet, only to suddenly bump into its ocean as it turned out to be a lot closer than it looked. Rick backed off. "Oh. I thought it was further away. I uh...I guess this one's a little small. All right, uh, maybe... maybe we should go check out the other two, huh?"

...

Rick flew his cruiser to the second planet, which seemed to be about the same size as Earth. "Ok, this one's bigger."

Rick landed the ship in some kind of forest as everyone started to get out. "This doesn't look so bad." Lincoln remarked.

Luna ran over to a strange plant she spotted. "Dudes! Check this out! It's strawberry on a cob!" Sure enough, there appeared to be strawberries growing from the cob as Luna took a bite out of it.

Lana then ran over, picking up another plant. "Whoa! Look at this! There's flowers on a cob!"

Lisa looked genuinely impressed. "Huh. I didn't think this kind of flora was even possible."

Carol narrowed her eyes as she noticed something strange in the distance. "Are those...mountains on a cob?"

The group then heard bird cawing coming from what appeared to be crows on a cob. "Oh my God..." Rick said before he picked up a nearby rocks on a cob which had ants on a cob crawling on it. He got out a hi-tech microscope and looked into it, zooming in to find what appeared to be amoebas on a cob. "Get in the ship." He suddenly ordered.

"Huh?" Lincoln asked.

"Get in the God damn ship!" Rick snapped, getting everyone's attention. "Everything's on a cob! The whole planet's on a cob! Go, go, go!" Upon hearing Rick's urgent tone, everyone ran back into the ship as Rick quickly set off and flew away from the planet.

...

"All right, third time's the charm. See what we got here." Rick said as the ship approached the last planet.

He landed the ship in an open field as everyone got out to take a look around. It appeared to be night time. "This seems okay." Lynn remarked.

"And there's nothing on a cob." Lucy added.

"Yeah, it's nice. I think this might be it." Rick said.

"Hey look! The sun's rising." Leni pointed out.

Everyone then watched the sunrise. The sun itself didn't seem too bright to look at. It also appeared to have a face. That was screaming. Continuously. It showed no signs that it was going to stop screaming any time soon. "Hey, Rick, small question. How long are the days on this planet?" Luan asked.

Rick got out his mini computer. "Uh, computer, how long are the days on this planet?"

"42 hours."

Rick went to stand in front of the group. "All right, well, those are the two choices 'cause cob planet is off the table. Now let's take a vote."

...

The miniature planet had won the vote almost unanimously were it not for Lucy voting for the planet with the screaming sun. Everyone worked together to build a log cabin as Rick had managed to snag a wireless TV from another planet. Everyone, apart from Lori who was sat in the corner, looking at photos on her phone, was watching the TV. Everyone had decided to give Lori space as she had been in a depressive state ever since they arrived at the planet the previous day. The TV was currently showing a news broadcast from the Federation as two wingless gromflomites were on screen. "Well, it's official." The male newscaster started. "The obscure planet known as Earth, formerly the hiding place of interstellar terrorist and fugitive Rick Sanchez, has just become the 6,048th planet to join the Galactic Federation."

"The plucky little ball of water and dirt, which is where it gets its name, is dominated by seven billion primate-descended natives who love to eat spaghetti and pray to kangaroos." The female newscaster said before turning to her partner. "Spaghetti, kangaroos? I've got to check this place out."

The two shared a laugh before the male newscaster continued. "Well, you can. Contact the ministry of tourism for details. Up next, teenagers are calling it" He made a strange growling and squealing sound. "And it's not what you think."

Lucy then turned the TV off. "Hey, what did you do that for?" Lynn asked.

"Dramatic effect."

Rick then came in, wearing a red coat and carrying a flag with the letter R on it. "Good morning, family. Plus Carol. Oh, do I smell bacon?"

"Affirmative." Lisa responded. "We had discovered a species of tiny suidae off the coast of new Australia approximately 30 yards east. Or approximately 300 yards west."

"We'd offer you some, but we hunted it to extinction for breakfast." Lucy added.

Rick stretched his arms. "Well, I thought I'd walk to the South pole and do a little bit of exploring. If you guys need me, just yell or throw something so hard that it goes around the world and hits me."

"Mind if I accompany you on this excursion?" Lisa asked.

Rick shrugged. "Sure." Lisa then followed Rick outside as they went on their trip.

Meanwhile, as Lori looked through her old photos, she eventually came across the selfie she took with Carol and Tammy at the party. Upon seeing it, she couldn't help but choke a sob. However, she quickly wiped her eyes, replacing her tears with resolve. She shouldn't be thinking about Tammy. What happened, happened and that's it. What she needed to think about now was her family. She knew what needed to be done to solve this. She just hoped at least most of her siblings agreed as she got up and went over to them. "Guys, we need to have a talk."

"What's wrong, Lori?" Leni asked.

Lori sighed. "Look, I know how we can get our lives back to at least semi-normal. If we want to go home, we have to turn in Rick. To the Federation."

"WHAT?!" Leni screeched.

...

"So, any reason you wanted to come with?" Rick asked as he walked through a jungle.

"No particular reason. I simply desired fresh air." Lisa responded as she walked through a desert.

"Fair enough." Rick said as he walked through a thunderstorm. The two then reached the South pole as Rick placed the flag into the snow. "South pole discovered, baby! Ohhhh!" He cheered before something caught his eye. "Oh shit, an ice cave? Things just keep on getting better." Rick decided to explore the cave with Lisa following behind. At the end of the cave, Rick and Lisa found an underground cavern. "Wow, it's the planet's core." Rick said, taking off his coat as he spotted a hole on the ground with the planet's tiny core in it.

"Fascinating." Lisa said. "Never thought I'd be able to see one up close like this."

"How could you even think of doing that to Grandpa Rick?!" Both Rick and Lisa heard Leni's voice coming from above them. Looking up, they realised they were directly under the cabin as they could a bit of the floorboards.

"Look, Leni, this might be hard for you to understand but if we turned him in to this Federation, they won't need to interrogate us and we can live on Earth again." Lori argued.

"But that's awful! We can't do that to Rick, he's our family." As the argument unfolded, Carol went to the side, not wanting to get involved. However, she still decided to listen in. Meanwhile, Lily just looked back and forth between her sisters, unable to understand what was happening.

"Leni, open your eyes!" Lori snapped, getting more and more frustrated. "Rick is a toxic influence on this family! All he's done is endanger our lives on those insane adventures of his!"

"But, like, none of us ever got hurt on them."

"So far. How long do you think that will last?"

Luna went to stand next to Leni. "Dude, I'm with Leni. We can't turn in Rick to the Galactic Federation. Not after what they did to Birdperson. Those dudes are evil!"

"Look, I know you were friends with Birdperson, Luna but how can you be so sure he and Rick were even right to go against this Federation?" Lori asked. "Can you really call Rick a good guy after all he's done to us? I didn't want to bring this up again but you guys know that it's his fault we had to move to another universe right?"

Luna shrugged. "So?"

Lori stared at Luna in shock. "S-So?!"

"So what? There's infinite versions of Earth anyway. Who cares what happened to one of them? Our lives went back to normal anyway."

"A-Are you hearing yourself? Do you not realise how twisted that sounds? You really think Rick's a good person when he's making us think like this?"

Luan went to stand next to Lori. "I agree with Lori. Honestly, I don't think Rick's a good person. Just look at the way he talks to us. He even said 'being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets'. Who the heck thinks like that? He's messed up!"

"Oh, so you'd rather trust the Galactic Federation over him?" Luna asked.

"I..." Luan faultered as she remembered the story about the Federation destoying a planet for not falling in line. She sighed. "Look, even if the Federation are bad, that doesn't make Rick good."

Lynn went to stand next to Luan. "I'm with Lori on this one." There was a moment of silence as everyone expected Lynn to give some kind of follow up.

"Um, any particular reason, dude?" Luna asked.

Lynn rolled her eyes. "Uh, duh, because I want to go home!"

Lucy went to stand next to Luna. "That seems like an awfully callous reason, Lynn."

"Ugh, whatever! Look, I just don't care for any of this sci-fi, fantasy crap. It's weird and it's not normal. Besides, why would you side with Rick? Didn't he take you to that purge planet or whatever?"

"We wouldn't have been in any danger were it not for me and Lincoln trying to save that girl. You guys are oversimplifying the stuff that's happened to us."

"Oh, I'm sorry, do I not have a high enough IQ to understand Rick's genius or something?" Lynn snarked. "If he's so smart, why's he got such a massive ego about it?"

"That's rich coming from you." Lucy muttered quietly.

"What was that?"

"Nothing. Look, all I'm saying we shouldn't just blame Rick for everything that's gone wrong. Maybe in some ways, we also contributed to the things that went wrong. Besides, Rick's not that black and white. I wouldn't categorise him as either good or bad. He's more complicated than that."

Lynn scoffed. "Sounds more like pretentious to me."

Lana went to stand next to Lucy. "This is so dumb! Rick's not a bad guy! If he was so bad, why would he keep teaching me about the stuff he makes and his ship? Besides, his adventures are fun! Sure they can be a little scary but who else could do what Rick does?"

Lola then went to stand next to Lynn, albeit apprehensively as she looked away from her siblings, rubbing her arm. Luna gave her an annoyed glare. "Seriously Lola?"

"I-I know this doesn't seem right but what else are we supposed to do?" Lola said, trying to explain herself. "We can't live on this planet forever! There's no one else here! There isn't much to eat. I just wanna go home!"

There was a moment of silence as it seemed like no one on either side was going to back down. All eight of them then turned to Lincoln. "Well Lincoln?" Lori asked.

"Huh?" Lincoln said, caught off guard.

"You don't think we should turn Grandpa Rick in, do you?" Leni asked.

"Lincoln, you've been on more adventures with Rick than any of us. If anyone here knows if Rick's bad or not, it's you." Lori stated.

Lincoln scratched his head as tried to think about it. If he were honest, he thought both sides made some valid points. He sighed. "I don't know. I just...I just want things to go back to normal."

Lisa glared up towards the floorboards. What right did any of them have to debate about things they didn't understand? She then noticed Rick slump against the wall, a depressive look on his face. A moment later, he got up and made his way back out the cave. Lisa followed after him. "Grandpa Rick?" Upon exiting the cave, Rick seemed to be making his way to the shack. "Grandpa Rick, is something the matter?"

Rick paused. "I was gonna hop over to the Gloppydrop system, get some ice cream."

"I see...would it not be best if I or one of my siblings accompanied you?"

"I'll be okay. Bye Lisa." Rick then continued on.

"Grandpa Rick, are you actually considering turning yourself in?" Lisa asked.

Rick chuckled. "Nothing gets past you Lisa."

Lisa ran in front of him. "B-But you can't! You..."

"Lisa, as a woman of science, do you see any possible way of resolving this that'll make everyone happy?"

"I...do not." Lisa admitted.

"Where's the van Lisa?"

"I believe it's next to the cabin where we left it." Lisa watched as Rick went to get into the van before flying off, away from the planet.

I hurt myself today

Rick made a call from a device in the ship. A woman's voice came from it, making an unintelligible sound. "For English, press two."

To see if I still feel

Rick pressed two as the device made a beeping noise. "Connecting to agent.

A woman then answered the call. "Ongoing investigations."

I focus on the pain

"Uh, hi, my name is Lori Loud, I'm from planet Earth. I know the whereabouts of Rick Sanchez, the wanted criminal." Rick said.

The only thing that's real

"Hold on!" The woman said before transferring the call.

A man's voice then came out of it. "This is special agent Gribbles. You have a tip about Rick Sanchez?"

The needle tears a hole

"Yeah, he kidnapped me and my family, and he left us on Dwarf terrace-9. He said he was gonna go to the plimplom tavern. And listen."

"Yes?"

The old, familiar sting

"I'm doing what's right for the galaxy by calling you, so if we come back to Earth, can my family have a normal life?"

Try to kill it all away

"We only want Sanchez, sir. Your family will be fine.

"Nice. Thank you."

But I remember everything

"I'm Lori Loud and I love bitching all the time and texting my dumbass boyfriend all day because I'm that much of a phone addict."

"Um, ok?"

After the call ended, Rick flew over to the planet where the plimplom tavern was.

What have I become?

Rick downed his drink as he stared at a photo of himself, Birdperson and Squanchy hanging out at an alien strip club. While Rick and Squanchy were partying, Birdperson was covering up a stripper in the photo with his wing.

My sweetest friend

Rick dropped the photo before leaving some change on the counter for his drink.

Everyone I know

Rick exited the tavern and raised his hands in the air as an army of gromflomites all aimed their laser guns at him.

Goes away in the end

Everyone was outside as Lori, Lincoln and Lisa were standing still, Leni was carrying a sleeping Lily, Luna and Luan were sat on the roof, Lynn was doing some sit-ups, Lucy was sat in the shade underneath a tree, Lana and Lola were sat down, cross legged and Carol was leaning against the cabin. Apart from Lynn, all of them were staring out at the horizon at the setting sun.

You could have it all

"Grandpa Rick's really gone, huh?" A sullen Lana asked.

After a moment, Lisa replied. "I'm afraid so."

All of them stayed this way all through the rather short night.

My empire of dirt

All of them then went tense as they saw some federation ships fly towards them. A wingless gromflomite then exited one of the ships.

I will let you down

"Good morning." The gromflomite greeted as the sun started to rise behind them.

I will make you hurt

The siblings and Carol all found themselves on a giant ship heading towards Earth, along with a large group of many different aliens. The ship flew directly to Royal Woods, however, once they got off, they found themselves in some kind of alien airport where they could see a banner that said 'Welcome to Earth' as they waited in line to get in. "How long will you be visiting earth?" The winged gromflomite asked them once it was their turn.

Lori looked uncomfortable. "Um. We live here. We were just off planet for a wedding."

The gromflomite pointed to his right. "Go that way."

They were directed to a section called 'DNA Identification'. The gromflomites grabbed each of their arms and put all their hands on scanning devices as some kind of claw device grabbed their tongues to have them scanned. The process would have gone quicker were it not for Lily, who Lori and Leni had tried to keep calm as they did the same to her after their identification had finished. Upon being identified, the gromflomites then pushed them all out of the building.

The siblings and Carol looked around at what had become of Royal Woods. All sorts of different aliens were populating the streets, bringing their own technology to Earth as they saw flying cars zoom by along with robots and machines roaming the streets. One robot approached Luan before scanning her. An automated, female voice came from it. "I have processed that you are in in distress and have proscribed antidepressants." A small bucket of antidepressants then came out of the robot. "Compliments of the Galactic Federation."

Luan took the bucket and swallowed all the pills. A smile then appeared on her face. "I feel better."

Luna sighed. "So much for things going back to normal."

As this was happening, Rick was being taken to a Galactic Federation prison, a facility that floated alone in the middle of space. It was shaped like a gigantic ring with multiple buildings in the middle.

You could have it all

Rick found himself being stared at by a Galactic Federation cyborg. "Sorry, I am not staring at you, I am taking your mug shot."

My empire of dirt

Two armoured gromflomites took Rick to get scanned. Upon being identified, another two gromflomites looked at each other in disbelief as the device listed all the crimes Rick was wanted for.

I will let you down

Rick was placed into a cube-like cell that restrained his neck, arms and legs. The cell was then picked up a by a ship with claws attached to it before bringing it to the maximum security section of the gigantic prison, passing by rows and columns of other prisoners in similar cells.

I will make you hurt

Upon being placed inbetween two other prisoners, one of them turned his head towards Rick. "Eh, what are you in for?"

"Everything." Rick responded.


	25. The Loudest Mission: Rickshank Rickdemption

Rick could do nothing but scowl as he floated through the halls of the Galactic Federation President's residency on the gromflomite's home planet of Gromflom Prime. Which to Rick, looked like a black version of the white house. He was currently strapped to a floating, black panel which followed behind two winged gromflomite guards. Soon, he entered the President's seafoam green office. Along with other Federation workers, Rick soon spotted Tammy, now wearing dark blue Galactic Federation uniform. He casted a hateful glare at her which she then returned. "Ah, Rick. Just the man I wanted to see." The Galactic Federation President greeted. The President was a wingless gromflomite who was slightly more overweight than the other gromflomites. He also had wrinkles on his face, showing his age.

"Ah Mr. President. Just the last person I wanted to see." Rick snarked. "The hell did you want with me?"

The President gave a slight huff though still tried keep a pleasant attitude. "I simply wanted to talk. You've committed quite a few crimes against the Federation and I'm not sure why. A while back, you had freed that gaseous life form from our captivity. You did realise how much of potential threat it was, right?"

Rick rolled his eyes. "Look, that whole incident? Complete accident. I killed it before it could go back to its own dimension." Rick noted that the federation knew exactly how dangerous Fart was.

The President gave a sigh of relief. "That's a relief. Still, that did end up costing us a lot. We only have so much blemflarck you know. Speaking of which, a while before that incident, you had smuggled some Megaseeds from Dimension 35-C. You do realise we needed those seeds to power our portals right?"

"Oh, so taking over other planets wasn't enough, you needed to take over other dimensions too?" Rick snapped.

"You say that like it's a problem. We only seek to bring some control and order to this insane universe. And as a man of science, shouldn't you be trying to make the universe a better place as well? Why don't we work together? Our knowledge of interdimensional travel is limited. If you tell us the formula to that portal gun of yours, we'll dismiss all of your crimes and let you join us in bringing peace to the galaxy. How does that sound?"

Rick narrowed his eyes at the President. "You think we don't have lying, bullshit politicians on Earth? Was using that bitch over there to trick my friends and family part of your little peace crusade? There's no way I'm helping you take over other dimensions." Rick noticed that Tammy was slightly taken aback by his jibe at her.

The President leaned back in his chair. "Ah well. I suppose it was worth a try. No matter. We have other methods of extracting that information."

"You do realise I'm gonna escape that shitty prison of yours right?" Rick stated.

The President chuckled. "Oh please. The Galactic Federation prison is THE most secure prison in the universe. Not a single person has ever escaped from it. Why, it's so secure, we keep our most sensitive information stored there. We even have our financial system set up there, alone!"

There was a pause for a moment as what the President just said started to sink into Rick's head. "You uh...you really have your whole financial system there, huh?"

The President's eyes widened for a moment before he regained his composure. "It's not as if it matters. It won't be long until you're dead anyway. Cornvelius Daniel." A wingless gromflomite wearing a suit then stepped forward.

...

"Anyway, that's how I escaped from space prison! Oh, scary place." Rick finished telling the tale of his escape to the rest of the Loud family, who were all sat around a table at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet.

Lisa gave Rick a look of admiration. "I didn't expect a genius of your caliber to be stuck there for long. If only I could've witnessed your escape myself."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Oh, come on. Who wants to watch a mad scientist use handmade sci-fi tools to take out highly trained alien guards when we can sit here and be a family at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet?"

Lynn Sr. gave Rick a concerned look. "You know, it's great to have you back and all, Dad, but wouldn't you rather celebrate at home?"

"Emotionally speaking, son, Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet is my home." Rick argued.

Lori raised an eyebrow at Rick. "You literally just got out of prison. Wouldn't you rather-"

"Lori, stand up and fold yourself twelve times." Rick ordered, interrupting her.

"Sure." Lori then stood up and grunted as she somehow managed to fold herself six times before falling over.

Rick folded his arms, looking insulted. "Six folds, huh? W-W-What, have you guys got me in a Series 9000? You cheap insect fucks didn't think I was worth your best equipment?"

All of the Loud family then faded away while Cornvelius Daniel appeared, sitting at a nearby table. He chuckled as he got up to sit with Rick. "Man, I told the money bugs. I said, you know who this guy is, right? You want me to get intel out of the smartest mammal in the galaxy, you better give me a decent brainalyzer."

"Well, you might as well order some nachos or some baguettes or something, because I don't see the need to leave this part of my brain."

Cornvelius Daniel raised an eyebrow. "Oh, I think you do. Eventually, you're either gonna relax your cerebellum."

"Jean Juan's."

"Or the Series 9000 is going to turn it into mush." Cornvelius Daniel picked up his mug of coffee, only for a butt to appear in it and fart in his face.

"Relaxed enough?" Rick laughed.

"I admire you, Rick-" The butt farted again, causing Rick to laugh at Cornvelius Daniel's expense. Everytime he tried to speak, the butt kept farting while Rick kept laughing. "When I-Rick, here's-"

...

Outside of Rick's mind, Rick was strapped to a table in a lab, unconscious with some kind of purple laser aimed at his head coming from the brainalyzer. Opposite him, Cornvelius Daniel was sat down, wearing a helmet that was connecting him to Rick's mind. The gromflomite captain watched as Rick grinned while Cornvelius Daniel looked uncomfortable. He turned to the gromflomite worker at the computer. "What's going on?"

The gromflomite worker stared at the computer screen. "It's hard to tell. He may have manifested some sort of butt."

"He can do that?"

"He is the smartest man in the universe."

...

Lynn Sr. sighed as he got out his ship that he had just flown home in. It had been a week since the Galactic Federation had taken over the world, changing everyone's lives, mostly for the worse. While the prospect of aliens coming to live on Earth and bringing their technology with them excited people at first, it quickly turned into a nightmare. None of the aliens had any idea about how humans worked and barely cared to learn, only going by the poorly informed videos that the Federation had released. As a result, humans were treated as second-class citizens on their own planet. While the aliens were free to do as they wanted to humans, humans still had to follow the strict laws that the Federation had laid out for them. Upon entering his house, Lynn Sr. was greeted by his wife. "Hi, honey. How was work?"

"Terrible!" Lynn Sr. bemoaned. "I finally achieved my dream of owning a restaurant and all I can serve are these stupid pills!"

Rita patted her husband's back to comfort him. "I know honey, I know. But think about it like this, at least you still have a job." Due to being unable to work on any alien's teeth (or whatever qualified as them), Rita was deemed unfit to be a dentist.

The two entered the dining room where all of the siblings were sat at the table, trying to eat from their plates full of pills. The only ones that weren't there were Lori, who had holed herself up in her room and Luna, who had yet to come home. Everyone was slowly eating their pills, apart from Lynn, who sat cross armed with a scowl on her face. "How are everyone's pills?" Asked C.O.N.R.o.Y.. A robotic personal servant that had been assigned to the family by the Federation. It floated towards Lynn.

"This sucks! I'm sick of eating these stupid pills all the time! This is-gak!" Extendable arms then came out of C.O.N.R.o.Y. as they grabbed Lynn's head and force-fed her the pills. After managing to swallow them, she looked at the robot nervously. "Th-Thank you, C.O.N.R.o.Y.."

Everyone then heard the front door open as Luna then entered the room, a wide-eyed, disturbed look on her face. "Luna? What's wrong?"

"Dudes, whatever you do, don't flash the horns at any of these aliens. They take it as permission to drink all your blood."

Everyone gasped in shock, especially Rita. "Oh God, Luna, don't tell me one of your friends..."

Luna shook her head. "I saw it on a video from Blurtfeed. Still, I'm worried guys. I haven't seen Sam in days! Who knows what happened to her!"

Lincoln shared Luna's sentiments. He had also seen quite a few disturbing videos from Blurtfeed. It didn't help that that was one of the only couple of websites that Lincoln could watch videos on now since the Federation had taken complete control of the internet, constantly monitoring everything that people post on it. Not only that but recently, a few people in Royal Woods had gone missing, including Ronnie Anne and her family. Ever since they had gone missing after being evicted from their own home, Lincoln had been beside himself with worry. Especially since he was suddenly unable to call or text Ronnie Anne since she had disappeared.

"I must admit, even I find some of these alien cultures somewhat disturbing." Lisa then admitted. "I had recently discovered that some alien species consume their young for being weak or insubordinate."

Everyone then looked at Lisa in disgust. Leni sighed. "I wish Grandpa Rick was still here. He'd know how to fix all this." Lincoln couldn't help but agree.

...

Later on, Lincoln snuck downstairs as he slowly crept over to the front door.

"What are you doing?"

"Gah!" Lincoln jumped before turning around to face Lucy.

"Are you trying to sneak out?" Lucy asked.

"Look, I know this seems dangerous but I have to know what happened to Ronnie Anne. Who knows what could have happened to her. I need to find out."

Lucy was silent for a moment. "Sigh. Just...please stay safe Lincoln. I won't tell anyone. I know you can handle yourself."

Lincoln nodded. "Don't worry. I promise I won't get myself into any danger." With that, Lincoln opened the door and stepped out of the house.

Luckily, it was starting to get late so the streets were empty. Most people nowadays have been staying inside in an effort to try and avoid the aliens anyway. Lincoln turned to the audience as he walked down the street. "Things haven't been...great since the Galactic Federation took over the world. But...well at least..." Lincoln sighed. He had a habit of talking to an imaginary audience in order to help himself focus and concentrate on what he should do. Lately though, it hasn't been working. Maybe he should just quit doing it. His family didn't mind it but he was aware of how to others, it made him look slightly crazy whenever he did it. Lincoln was still finding it hard to believe that the Federation had taken over the entire world. Though he had heard rumours that the Federation have yet to take over states such as Oregon and Los Angeles though he wasn't sure if he could really believe those rumours.

"Psst."

Lincoln looked around, wondering if he had just imagined that noise.

"Psst."

Was someone trying to get his attention? He looked around again but couldn't see anyone.

"Psst."

Lincoln then realised that the noise was coming from a nearby manhole. Without really thinking, Lincoln approached the manhole. "Uh, hello?"

Lincoln then yelped as an arm reached out from underneath the manhole and pulled him under it. Before he could scream for help, a hand slapped over his mouth. "Lincoln! Shh!" Ronnie Anne whispered harshly.

Lincoln looked at Ronnie Anne in surprise. Her clothes were torn and looked filthy. "Ronnie Anne? What are-"

Ronnie Anne put a finger over her mouth. "Shh." She then gestured for Lincoln to follow her as she climbed down the ladder, into the sewer.

Lincoln followed her down. Upon reaching the sewer, he suddenly found himself pulled into a hug by his other grandpa, Albert. "Lincoln! I'm so glad you're okay! Is the rest of the family safe?"

Lincoln looked at his Pop-Pop in surprise as he let him go. "Pop-Pop? What are you...woah." Lincoln looked to see the walkways of the sewer lined up with wooden shacks made of planks and whatever else could be salvaged from the surface. Along with that, Lincoln could see a few familiar faces of people who had also gone missing recently. Like Ronnie Anne, their clothes were torn and filthy as well.

Mr. Grouse was still in the middle of making his shack as he hammered in some nails. He then put a hand to his aching back, wiping the sweat from his forehead. "Ooh wee, you need any help there, Mr. Grouse?" Mr. Poopybutthole offered.

Mr. Grouse gave Mr. Poopybutthole a grateful smile as he handed him the hammer. "Ah thanks...eh...what did you say your name was again?"

"Why, it's Mr. Poopybutthole!"

Mr. Grouse raised an eyebrow at Mr. Poopybutthole. "Huh. Bet you were popular in high school with that name, eh?"

"Ooh wee, I sure was!"

Meanwhile, Carol was slowly and nervously walking down the walkway, not wanting to get her clothes any dirtier than they already were. "Move it, Carol! Some of us have places to be!" Scoots shouted as she drove up behind her.

Carol quickly stepped aside. "Eep! Sorry Scoots." Scoots said nothing as she simply drove past her.

"Rafo! Rafo, where are you?!" Darcy shouted as she ran around, trying to find her plush toy giraffe.

"Is this Rafo?"

Darcy jumped before turning around to see Maggie holding Rafo. Darcy squealed as she took back her plush toy. "Thanks, Maggie!"

Maggie gave a slight smile as she watched Darcy go off and play. That smile then turned into a scowl as she noticed Lincoln, Ronnie Anne and Albert watching her. "What are you looking at?"

"Yo, little Loud!" Lincoln then heard Sam as she ran up towards him. "Is Luna around?"

Ronnie Anne shook her head. "Sorry. Lincoln's all I saw out there."

"Dang it!" Sam sighed in disappointment. "Well...is she okay at least?"

"She's fine but she's worried sick about you." Lincoln explained.

Sam winced. "Ugh. I wanna tell her I'm okay but I can't. The stupid Federation monitor all our calls and texts. If we used our phones, they might find out about us."

"That reminds me." Lincoln said. "What are you guys all doing down here anyway?"

"Isn't it, like, obvious? We don't want to live in their messed up society." Maggie explained.

"She actually started all of this." Ronnie Anne whispered to Lincoln. "Said she was prepared for something like this happening."

"I'm not letting those galactic freaks tell me what to do!" Scoots ranted.

Carol scowled. "After what they did, there's no way I want anything to do with the Federation."

Darcy shyly tapped her fingers together. "My mommy and daddy said that the aliens were bad people and that we should stay away from them."

"Ooh wee, me and my wife have committed numerous crimes against the Federation so we're kinda wanted criminals now." Mr. Poopybutthole said cheerfully.

"So...you guys would rather live in the sewer?" Lincoln then asked.

"Anything's better than up there." Ronnie Anne said plainly. "Besides, we'll be fine. We've been stealing stuff from the surface to help us out. Plus, there's actual food down here."

"Hey, we might not even have to live here that long." Albert added as he picked up a spear that he had handcrafted himself. "We've also been preparing to take back the surface one day."

"Ooh wee, you know that's kind of a loooong shot right?" Mr. Poopybutthole pointed out.

Albert shrugged. "Hey, as long as we keep bringing people down here, we'll get there eventually."

Ronnie Anne scratched the back of her head awkwardly. "I was kind of hoping I'd find the rest of your family up there. Sorry about this but you can't go back up. We can't risk the Federation finding out about us."

Lincoln sighed, looking downcast. "Well that sucks but...I understand."

Ronnie Anne gave Lincoln a sympathetic look. "Sorry. You can always stay with us until we can find your family."

Lincoln then perked up. "Sure. So Bobby and your mom are down here too, right?"

Ronnie Anne looked away. "Well...it's not just them you'll be living with now."

"What do you mean?"

Ronnie Anne grabbed Lincoln's hand as she guided him further into the sewer. "Here, I'll show you."

After walking for a bit, the two eventually came to a shack much bigger than the other ones. Ronnie Anne took a deep breath before opening the door. Upon entering, Bobby and Maria immediately approached the two. "Bro, you're here! Is Lori here too?" Bobby asked.

"Sorry, Bobby." Ronnie Anne apologised. "I could only find Lincoln."

"Gosh dang it!" Bobby slumped. "Is Lori okay at least?"

"She's...whoa." Lincoln's attention diverted as he quickly spotted the rest of the people living with Ronnie Anne.

"Hector, you were supposed to help us organise our belongings this morning!" An elderly woman holding a cooking pot snapped. She was a short, round woman with tan skin and short black hair, rolled into a bun. She wore a navy blue dress, with a white collar, as well as having white on the end of the sleeves, a greenish blue apron, and black shoes. Next to her, a toddler was imitating her every move. He had two front teeth, a strand of red hair and thick, black eyebrows. He wore a white shirt, red shorts and black shoes.

"I was helping people with their shacks." Hector argued. He was a short, round, elderly man with tan skin, black eyebrows, a thick, bushy gray mustache, and gray hair at the sides of his head. He wore a tan shirt with an asparagus green jacket that has patches on the elbows, olive green pants, and black shoes.

"You were out gossiping!"

Hector put his hands on his hips. "I do not gossip! By the way, did you hear that Mrs. Poopybutthole might be pregnant?"

"Ugh!" The woman spat before walking off.

Barking could then be heard as a parrot with a body mostly made up of red feathers along with light orange head feathers flew by, carrying a toy bone. "Too slow!" The parrot squacked as he flew off with a large, pudgy mastiff with yellow fur chasing after him along with the toddler, now imitating the dog.

"Sergio! Give Lalo back his toy!" The elderly woman snapped.

"Carl! Did you use all my hair product again?!" A teenage girl the same age as Bobby shouted. She was a plus-sized girl with two pairs of eyelashes and long black hair, with some strands styled into a ponytail. However, he hair was currently all frizzy. She wore golden circular earrings, magenta lipstick, a light seafoam dress with a white collar, two orange bracelets on each wrist, pink socks, and brown boots. "You know we don't have enough of those any more!"

A young boy around Lana and Lola's age slid towards her on his knees, striking a pose with a confident smirk on his face. He had a missing tooth, thick, black eyebrows and wore a red hoodie, navy blue pants and white shoes. "This kind of handsome doesn't happen on its own." He bragged, referring to his black hair that was styled as a faux hawk. Annoyed, the girl grabbed Carl and began rubbing his hair against hers. "STOP IT! YOU'RE SMOOSHING THE FLAIR!" He cried out.

The two were then distracted by a flash from a camera. The person who just took their photo was their mother. A tall woman with tan skin, long black hair, orange earrings, and two sets of yellow pearl bracelets on her wrists. She wore a pink dress with a greenish blue pattern on the top and light brown flats. She was currently overflowing with joy. "I love seeing my babies play so sweetly. Even during such hard times!" She exclaimed with tears in her eyes running off to go cry, along with the toddler now imitating her. Carl and his sister glanced at each other before the girl put Carl down and both of them cleaned up their hair, walking away.

"I'm Super CJ!" A boy around Lynn's age exclaimed as he struck a superhero pose. He was portly teenage boy with black scruffy hair. He wore a yellow shirt, a black bow tie with red outlines, dark blue shorts, white socks, blue shoes with green laces and a short red cape. Despite his age, he was very short in stature. CJ then started making airplane noises as he ran around imitating an airplane along with the toddler now imitating him.

A man with short black hair, with some of the strands standing up and thick, black eyebrows passed by CJ. He wore black glasses that have a square frame, a cream long sleeved shirt, a light green sweater, a red necktie, brown pants, a black belt with a yellow buckle and dark brown shoes. He was currently reading a book. "Ok, Super CJ, just watch where you're going." He said before immediately bumping into a wall. "Oof! Huh, whoopsie."

"Squack! Nerd alert!" The parrot squacked as he flew by.

After all that chaos, CJ was the first to notice Ronnie Anne and Lincoln. "Ronnie Anne!" Everyone then stopped what they were doing as they went over to see Ronnie Anne and Lincoln.

"Everyone, this is Lincoln." Ronnie Anne said, gesturing to Lincoln.

"Your boyfriend!" The tall woman exclaimed, snapping a photo of the two.

"Frida!" Ronnie Anne moaned. She then turned to Lincoln. "Anyway, this is my mom's brother, Carlos, his wife, Frida, their kids Carlota, CJ, Carl, and Carlitos and my Grandma Rosa and Grandpa Hector." The order she introduced her cousins in was by age.

Rosa approached Lincoln. "Lincoln, you must be famished!" She then gasped as she took a good look at Lincoln. "You're all bones and skin! Oh, I'd offer you some food but..."

"There isn't enough." Maria interjected. "We need to ration out what we eat now."

"But it never feels like enough!" A frustrated Rosa exclaimed. "I can't believe that Federation. What were they thinking, replacing all the food with these horrid pills?!"

"According to the Federation, they believe that cooking is exhausting and drains our planet of resources." Carlos explained.

Rosa scowled. "Ridiculous! Have they even tried any of our food? I bet if they tried some of my cooking, they'd reconsider that!"

Lincoln turned to Ronnie Anne. "So, what are all your family doing here in Royal Woods?"

Everyone then went silent as a dour feeling spread across the shack. "It's...not a pleasant story." Ronnie Anne admitted.

"A week ago, the Federation took over Great Lakes City." Carlos explained. "However, a lot of people rebelled against the Federation's rule. There were a lot of protests. Enough so that they got the Federation's attention. They responded to all of this by...by..."

"THEY DESTROYED EVERYTHING!" Rosa suddenly wailed. "There is no Great Lakes City any more! The Federation completely destroyed it!" Maria went over to comfort her mother as she started to sob.

Lincoln stared at Rosa in shock. "W-What?"

"We lost everything." Hector then said. "Our city. Our apartment. My bodega!"

"We were lucky to make it out alive." Carlos continued. "We don't know how many other people did. We came here to Royal Woods because we didn't know where else to go."

Lincoln could barely believe what he just heard. How could the Federation do something like that? After hearing that, Lincoln was sure that the Federation was filled with nothing but monsters. This situation was even more horrifying considering that this is the first he'd heard of the Federation destoying any kind of city. It showed just how good the Federation were at covering things up. Especially with their complete control of the internet and the media.

"I-It's not all bad." Frida then said, despite almost being on the verge of tears herself. "At least we all still have each other. W-We all have to stay positive."

Carlota nodded. "Mom's right, guys. We can't let this keep getting us down."

Rosa started to calm down. "You're right, dear, you're right. Why don't we all do something to take our minds off this, hmm?"

CJ then ran over to pick up a pirate hat and two fake swords before running back over to Lincoln. "Hey, Lincoln, wanna play pirates?"

Lincoln smirked. "Oh, you're on." He took one of the swords from CJ. "Let's do this! En garde!" As the two began to play fight, everyone else went back to what they were doing beforehand, apart from Ronnie Anne, who started to look downcast. She still had a lot on her mind.

...

Rick and Cornvelius Daniel were still at Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet with Rick refusing to let his mind wander anywhere else. "I can see why you chose this family-friendly restaurant to represent your cerebellum." Cornvelius Daniel said as he gestured to the restaurant. "So safe, so comfortable, so Jean Juan's. But admit it, Rick. You're going crazy, cooped up in here. Let's go visit some memories."

"Oh, any particular ones?" Rick asked sarcastically. "You want to see my first boner, or should we go straight to the moment I discovered interdimensional travel?" Cornvelius Daniel started to make an odd squealing noise. This amused Rick. "Ooh, your little flappy doodles are twitching. Does that mean you're aroused, or did you just get a signal that one of your buddies found a grape?"

"It's arousal." Cornvelius Daniel admitted. "Yes, I'd like very much to visit the memory of you inventing your portal gun."

"Yeah, well, tough titties." Suddenly, the building started to rumble as cracks appeared on the restaurant's walls and windows.

"There's no tougher titty than a psychotic break, Rick."

Rick gave Cornvelius Daniel a defiant look. "Well, that depends on who breaks first. Me or the titty?"

Cornvelius Daniel got up and walked over to the window. Outside, he could see Rick wearing a bathrobe, talking on the phone, a woman and a boy standing in front of a portal and a couple of baseball players, playing a game. "Someone special you remember?" Cornvelius Daniel asked, pointing to the woman. "Is that your memory of her out there, between where you were on 9/11 and your favorite sports blooper?"

Rick got up and walked towards the window. A pained look appeared on his face as he watched the portal flash before disappearing, along with the woman and the boy. "If we stay here." Cornvelius Daniel poked Rick's forehead. "You'll die, along with all your memories. If you take me where I want to go she'll be there too, won't she?"

Rick started to look downcast. "The day I invented the portal gun is the day I lost her."

"Oh, that sounds cool. I can get what I want and you can say goodbye."

Rick sighed. "Fine, but I'm driving."

...

It was late at night. While everyone in the Loud House was asleep, Leni was in the garage, futilely searching for something to help her find Rick. When the family had returned home, they had discovered that Rick at some point had all of his spare portal guns self-destruct, likely to make sure the Federation didn't get their hands on them. The Federation had raided Rick's garage anyway, taking anything they could, though the siblings doubted that they had taken everything considering how many secrets Rick's garage held. Leni also realised this as she searched around, looking for some kind of secret. "What are you doing?"

Leni yelped before turning around to see Lori. She had a tired look on her face with dark bags under her eyes. "I'll ask again. What are you doing?"

"I'm, like, trying to find something to help us get Grandpa Rick out of prison. He's got to have something here right?"

Lori sighed. "Don't you get it, Leni? Rick is not a good person. We're better off without him."

"But the Galactic Refrigeration are awful!" Leni argued. "They, like, said I was 43 now. I don't want to be 43!"

Lori put her hands on Leni's shoulders. "Leni, I know you don't understand but Rick is literally emotionally abusive. He was only nice to us enough to the point that we wouldn't tell our parents and get him kicked out. But I know that the only thing he cares about is himself. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if this was all a part of some big plan to make himself look like a hero so he can get away with doing whatever he wants."

Leni scowled. The way Lori spoke made her feel like she was speaking down to her. "There's more stuff in my head than just air, you know? I know Grandpa Rick's not bad deep down. Why would he have helped us out all those times? Or hang out with us?"

Lori sighed in disappointment. "You still don't get it, do you? Fine. I'll have to show you then." She then grabbed a nearby shovel before storming off into the rainy night.

Leni followed after her, into the backyard. "Lori?" Lori then went over the spot where the other versions of their siblings and Rick were buried and started digging. "What are you doing?!"

"What's it look like?" Lori snapped. "I'm digging up that other Rick so I can get his portal gun."

"But, like, how do you know that's where Rick was buried?"

Lori narrowed her eyes as she tried to recall who was buried where. "I mean, I think this was where that Rick was buried-OH GOD IT'S LANA!"

...

"Where are we going?" Cornvelius Daniel asked as Rick drove him down the streets of Royal Woods.

"To the day it all began and ended." Rick responded. "The moment that changed everything."

Rick then pulled the car into a McDonalds drive-thru. "Welcome to McDonalds. Can I take your order?" An employee asked through the speaker.

"Yeah, I'd like to get a 10-piece McNugget and a bunch of the Szechuan sauce. Like, as much as you're allowed to give me." Rick turned to Cornvelius Daniel to explain himself. "In 1998, they had this promotion for the Disney film 'Mulan', where they-where they-they created a new sauce for the McNuggets called Szechuan sauce, and it's delicious! And then they got rid of it, and now it's gone. This is the only place we're gonna be able to try it, is in my memory."

"Rick, you're doing this bit while your brain is melting." Cornvelius Daniel pointed out.

"Ok. All right, all right."

...

After getting his order, Rick drove over to a house. Cornvelius Daniel got out, along with Rick and looked into the garage. "Is that..."

"Me." Rick answered as they watched a younger version of Rick experiment with a larger portal gun than the one Rick usually has. Back then, Rick's hair was shorter and less spiky and his skin was lighter than it was now. "I used to wear blue pants." The younger Rick fired two small, blue portals at the wall. He then threw a ball into one of the them, only for a pile of ash to come out the other, causing the young Rick to look downcast.

"When'd you make the leap to interdimensional travel?" Cornvelius Daniel asked as the car behind them faded away.

"I didn't." Rick responded. "I did."

A portal then appeared in the garage as an alternate version of Rick stepped out of it, causing the younger Rick to gape in shock. He had the same hairstyle as the younger Rick but had the usual grey skin tone that was common in Ricks and also wore a black jacket. "Well, well, well. If it isn't us. You know the worst part about inventing teleportation? Suddenly, you're able to travel the whole galaxy, and the first thing you learn is, you're the last guy to invent teleportation. Fortunately, you're about to invent something much more powerful." Cornvelius Daniel started to squeal in excitement.

"What?" The younger Rick asked. The other Rick responded by showing him his portal gun.

...

After two more errors, Lori finally dug up the grave that had Rick in it while Leni was covering her mouth, trying not to puke. The Rick that had been buried was nothing more than a skeleton now. Lori dug into the other Rick's coat pocket until she found his portal gun, which had somehow remained intact after the explosion that had killed that Rick. "W-What are you going to do?" Leni asked.

"I'm going to show you exactly why Rick isn't a good person." Lori responded.

"My goodness, children." Lori and Leni turned around to see that C.O.N.R.o.Y. had spotted them. C.O.N.R.o.Y. then changed form, going from floating to sprouting four legs with electrified arms coming out of it. "Relinquish the illegal technology to the nearest Federation representative. And then we'll all play balderdash."

Suddenly, C.O.N.R.o.Y. started to short circuit before collapsing onto the floor. Lisa then stepped out from behind it, holding some kind of advanced taser. "You have my gratitude for the distraction. I was waiting for an opportunity to do that." Lisa then started to drag the broken robot back into the house.

Lori decided to just let Lisa handle C.O.N.R.o.Y. as she then fired a portal and gestured Leni to follow her. Upon exiting the portal, the two found themselves in what looked like a ghost town, filled with broken buildings, overgrown plantation and rotting piles of flesh. "Where are we?" Leni asked nervously.

"Home." Lori responded.

...

If Ronnie Anne was completely honest, she found her extended family really overbearing. Ever since they started living together, she hadn't found a moment of peace. Not even now as she laid in bed along with her mother, having forced to share a bed due to a lack of them. Ronnie Anne found it extremely hard to go to sleep with her mother's snoring. Once she started tossing and turning on top of her, Ronnie Anne decided to try sleeping somewhere else as she went over to lie on a worn out couch that they had managed to salvage. She exhaled. "Finally, some peace and quiet." After she said that, she then heard some spaceships from the surface zoom by. Once they were gone, she sighed and fluffed her pillow to try and get back to sleep, only to hear some meowing outside. She got up and went outside to see a black cat outside the shack. Ronnie Anne waved her arms at it. "Go on! Shoo!"

Mr. Poopybutthole then ran by and picked up the cat. "Ooh, sorry about that. He's mine."

Ronnie Anne sighed as Mr. Poopybutthole went back to his shack before going back in and making her way back to the couch. Only to find Lalo lying on it now. Ronnie Anne gripped her fists in irritation. "Really, Lalo?" She then took the pillow from underneath him. She went over to where Bobby was sleeping. He was also snoring and was sleeping with his butt in the air. She then tried the closet, only for all the stuff that both the Santiagos and Casagrandes had taken with them to fall out on top of her. Frustrated, she then stormed out of the shack.

After hearing a bunch of noise, Lincoln went outside to see Ronnie Anne curled up to herself just outside the shack. "Are you okay, Ronnie Anne?"

Ronnie Anne groaned in frustration. "I'm just sick of living like this. I used to have my own room. I could do my own thing. Now, I can't even use the bathroom without an audience."

Lincoln went to sit next to her. "I know things seem rough but maybe things will go back to normal if the Federation ever goes away."

Ronnie Anne scoffed. "Doubt it. Great Lakes City is gone now, remember? They're gonna have to live in Royal Woods with us now. Besides, even if none of this happened, I probably would have ended up moving in with them anyway. I overheard my mom talking about it."

"Is that so bad? Your family seems pretty awesome to me."

"Ugh. You don't get it."

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. "Really? You're not the only one living with a large family you know. Even if they can be a little overbearing at times, we all still love each other."

"I love my family too! It's just..." Ronnie Anne was struggling to think of an argument.

"I understand how you feel. But why not try to give them more of a chance? Having a big family can actually be pretty fun sometimes."

Ronnie Anne sighed. "Sorry. You're right. It's just...it's been really hard to adjust to everything that's been happening."

"Believe me, I know how you feel. Just more than a year ago, I wasn't sure if aliens even existed. Now I go on adventures around the universe almost every week. Even if it's a big change, you get used to it eventually."

Ronnie Anne smiled. "Thanks for hearing me out anyway. I'm really glad you're here, you know."

"No prob-" Lincoln suddenly blushed as Ronnie gave him a quick kiss on the cheek.

"D-Don't tell anyone I did that." Ronnie Anne stuttered, also now blushing before going back into the shack.

...

Cornvelius Daniel had decided to have a little taste of the Szechuan sauce that Rick had been talking up while he and Rick continued watching the memory. "Imagine doing anything you want, then hopping to a timeline where you never did it." The alternate Rick said. "Imagine going anywhere, anytime, with nobody able to stop you."

The younger Rick looked away. "Sounds lonely."

The alternate Rick narrowed his eyes. "Lonely? Dude, you have yourself. Your infinite selves. It's a nonstop party where all the guests are the only person we like. You think it's cool being the smartest man on Earth, but once we give you this technology, you become the smartest thing in every conceivable universe. The infinite Rick. A God!"

The younger Rick turned away with a smile on his face. "Eh, pass."

"Excuse me? Bro, Ricks don't pass on this. Who do you think you are?"

The younger Rick shrugged. "A different kind of Rick, I guess."

"Well, we'll see how long that lasts." The alternate Rick said before firing a portal and leaving.

After he left, a brunette-haired woman entered the garage. "I heard sci-fi noises. Did you make a breakthrough?"

"Sort of." The younger Rick said as he clasped hands with his wife. "I just took a long look at myself and I don't think this science thing is gonna pay off.

"Well, why don't I get Lynn and we'll go out for pizza?"

"That, Laura, is the last great idea that will ever be had in this garage.

...

Lori and Leni stared in horror at their old home. Or at least what was left of it after it had been burnt down. There didn't appear to be any signs of their original parents or Lily. Both of them started to wander around. Leni appeared to be in a daze as she looked around her old home.

Meanwhile, Lori had wondered into the dining room with their old dining table somehow remaining intact. She then noticed a note on the table. She quickly grabbed it and read it out aloud to herself. "To whoever reads this note, we are no longer here. Me, Lynn, Lily and my dad, Albert, have been rescued by a royal family from another dimension and taken to a place called Mewni-wait what?!" Lori reread that sentence again to make sure she hadn't just imagined it. Rescued by a royal family and taken to a place called Mewni? Were her parents going insane at the time they wrote this or did that actually happen? Did Rick ever take any of them to somewhere called Mewni at some point? She mentally kicked herself for not keeping track of the places her siblings have been to with Rick. She decided to keep reading. "Rick, if you are reading this, you are dead to us. We can only hope that you at least had the decency to take our children to a safe place. We never want to see you again. Rita." Lori's arms slumped upon finishing the note as she now found herself in a dilemma. Her real parents may possibly still be alive, along with Lily and her other grandpa. But what now? What would happen if she showed her other siblings the note? Would they want to go back to them? After managing to rebuild their lives as if this whole incident never happened? What was Mewni even like? Would it be worth abandoning everyone else to go back to their parents? Would their parents be willing to leave Mewni? What if Mewni wasn't even real and this was just the insane writings of their parents before they died? The biggest question though was if it would even be worth showing this to her siblings anyway since they would likely need Rick's help to even find this Mewni. It was a difficult decision but Lori decided for now to just crumple up the note and put it in her pocket.

Lori then went into what was left of the kitchen to see Leni still staring around in shock. "We actually used to live here?" She mumbled to herself.

"Do you see now, Leni?" Lori asked. "You see why I know that Rick isn't a good person? If it wasn't for Rick, literally none of this would have happened."

Leni frowned in thought. "But...wasn't this all, like, an accident?"

Lori pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration. "You're still making excuses for him."

"But it's true!" Leni argued. "Grandpa Rick didn't do any of this on purpose. It was all an accident!"

"An accident that destroyed the world!" Lori snapped.

"But he tried to make up for it! Don't you think you're grabbing a judge?" Leni yelled back as the argument started to get more heated.

Lori gave her a dumbfounded look. "Huh?"

"No wait, what's that word for when someone never forgives someone?"

"You mean holding a grudge?"

"Yeah, that. Is it right to keep being mad at him? He did try to make everything normal again."

"Do you call what's happening to us now normal? Thanks to Rick, our planet has been taken over by some weird space government!"

"How do you know that's Rick's fault?"

"I just do! Okay?!"

Suddenly, a portal opened up with three Guard Ricks from the citadel stepping out of it, aiming their guns at Lori and Leni. Lori yelped as she raised her arms. "W-What do you want from us?!"

One of the Ricks approached them. "We detected a compromised portal gun. Hand it over." Lori nervously gave the Guard Rick the portal gun. "Now, where is your Rick?"

"The Galactic Refrigeration have him!" Leni blurted out.

Guard Rick raised an eyebrow. "I'm assuming you're talking about the Galactic Federation, right?" Leni nodded. Guard Rick rolled his eyes. "Lenis... Well, we can't risk Citadel secrets falling into the Federation's hands. After we've identified who your Rick is, we'll dispatch SEAL team Ricks immediately to break into the prison holding your Rick."

Leni smiled. "You're going to rescue him?"

"No, we're going to assassinate him."

"...does that, like, mean you're going to save his butt?"

...

Young Rick honked the horn of his car as he reversed out of the garage. "Come on guys, let's get moving already!" Laura then came into the garage along with a young Lynn Sr.. Cornvelius Daniel noticed Rick cover his eyes before a portal appeared in the ceiling of the garage, dropping some kind of bomb that started beeping before enveloping the entire garage in a giant, purple explosion. The force of it flipping the younger Rick's car over. After recovering from the blast, the younger Rick reached his hand out. "NOOOOOOO!"

Rick dropped to his knees, staring at the scene in horror while Cornvelius Daniel frowned. "You know, this sauce is okay but I wouldn't say it's anything all that special. I mean, I certainly wouldn't go into a restaurant and start screaming on the floor over it anyway."

A moment later, they watched as the younger Rick started to construct something, using what was left of his tools from the garage. "Carry the three, add a two. I got it. I fucking got it." The younger Rick yelled as held up a portal gun. He grinned as he fired a portal and ran into it."

"Whoa. I-Is that it, the portal gun?" Cornvelius Daniel asked.

"Yeah." Rick admitted, looking downcast with his hands in his coat pockets. "That's the three lines of math that separates my life as a man from my life as an unfeeling ghost."

"Awesome-possum." Cornvelius Daniel replied cheerfully before getting out a device resembling a mobile phone, using it to type out the code. "Mission Control, you getting this?"

"Holy shit, yes! Yes, we got it!" A gromflomite worker cheered from the lab."

He put the device away before turning to Rick. "Yeah! Thanks, Rick. I'll try to remember to shut off the brainalyzer. Actually, I think it shuts off automatically once your brain is liquid. Don't know, don't care." He then spoke to his colleagues using a device in his suit collar. "Pull me out." There was no response. "Hey, pull me out! Can you hear me?"

"Nope. They cannot." Rick said, starting to grin.

"Why not?"

"Because the code you just uploaded wasn't actually my portal gun formula, it was a virus giving me full control over the brainalyzer."

Cornvelius Daniel started to get nervous. "What are you talking about? This is a memory. Y-You can't alter details of a memory."

"True, but you can alter anything you want about a totally fabricated origin story." Rick smirked as the world around them folded away as the two reappeared in Jean Juan's French-Mex Buffet.

Cornvelius Daniel was now panicking as he tried in vain to communicate with his colleagues. "It's a trap! Abort! I'm still in Jean Juan's! Repeat! We never left Jean Juan's!"

"Mission accomplished, boys." Rick said, talking into his watch. "Pull me out."

"Roger that." A gromflomite worker responded.

Rick then started to glow. "Ok, have fun in what's left of my brain. I'm gonna transfer to yours. Oh, there's not enough room for all my genius, so I'm leaving you with my fear of wicker furniture, my desire to play the trumpet, my tentative plans to purchase a hat and six years of improv workshops. Comedy comes in threes."

Cornvelius Daniel grabbed Rick's arm and tried to talk through his watch. "It's a trap! Abort! We never left his-" The watch turned into a butt and farted into his face. Rick laughed as he floated upwards before disappearing. "Nooooo!"

...

Cornvelius Daniel's body woke up. Now being controlled by Rick's consciousness. He stood up and took the helmet off. "Another day, another dollar. Am I a great insect creature or whaaat?!"

The gromflomite captain approached him. "Congratulations, Agent. You'll be highly commended for this."

"Always wait for permission to feel accomplishment. That's my motto."

The gromflomite captain scratched his chin. "One thing still perplexes me. Why would Rick Sanchez turn himself in?"

Rick shrugged as he made his way to the exit. "How should I know? I'm just a dumbass bug. I'm just gonna go take a dump. Is it cool if I use the level-nine bathroom? W-W-What's the level-nine master access code again?"

"Oh, that's easy." A gromflomite worker responded. "8-3-"

Before he could continue, a group of armoured Ricks burst in through the ceiling. "Yeah! SEAL Team Rick's in the house!" The SEAL team then started firing at all of the gromflomites while Rick went to hide behind the brainalyzer.

A Rick with a mohawk approached Rick's body. "Hi, Rick." He then shot him in the head. "Bye, Rick."

Rick then put the helmet back on before aiming the brainalyzer at the mohawked Rick, using it on him. Another Rick noticed and shot the gromflomite dead. "E-99, y-you okay?"

Rick responded by shooting at all of the SEAL team Ricks, killing each of them. "I'm bummed I didn't get to give that insect dick a test-drive."

"Wait, wait, wait, wait!" The last Rick pleaded as he laid down on the floor bleeding. "T-The Council of Ricks sent us. We have your Lori and Leni. They're prisoners on the Citadel."

Rick glowered at the other Rick. They're seriously doing this now? Well then, he supposed he might as well take out two birds with one stone. "Great!" He then shot the other Rick in the head.

An alarm then went off. "Security breach in room 6755." Said a voice from the speaker system.

"Lovely. Not only is my plan screwed up, I also forgot how to improvise." Rick then grabbed one of the ropes that the SEAL team had come down on and pulled himself up to get into the ship that they had come here with.

...

Lori and Leni, now handcuffed, looked around in awe upon arriving at the Citadel of Ricks along with the Guard Ricks. "Ok, this is really weird." Lori remarked as she looked at all the other alternate versions of her, her siblings and Rick while the Guard Ricks guided them towards the council hall.

"Totes." Leni said before giving one of her alternate versions the stinkeye. "Ew! I would never wear that dress!"

"So let me get this straight." Lori started. "In order to hide from your versions of the government, you started your own government?"

"That would be correct." A Guard Rick replied.

"You don't think that's a little hypocritical?"

The Guard Rick scoffed. "Getting called hypocritical doesn't mean that much coming from a Lori."

Lori scowled. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"It means shut up. No one here needs to hear you bitching the whole way." This got a chuckle from the other Ricks.

Lori glared at the Guard Rick. "You Ricks are the worst.

Guard Rick grinned. "Well hey, if you hate Ricks so much, you won't have to worry about your own anymore. SEAL Team Ricks turned his unibrow into two brows. With a bullet." The Guard Ricks laughed while Leni gasped in fear and Lori had an unsure expression on her face.

...

"Sir, Rick E-99 is returning from the mission alone." A worker Rick informed his Commander in Chief Rick from the Citadel communications centre. The worker Rick was watching the ship approaching the Citadel from his computer. "Apparently, SEAL Team Ricks suffered heavy casualties."

"Bring him in." The Commander in Chief Rick ordered.

"He says he'll only talk to a Rick with higher clearance."

Commander in Chief Rick rolled his eyes. "La-di-da. Give me that." The Commander in Chief Rick picked up the communication device to talk to the other Rick. "E-99, this is the commander in chief of the Citadel's militia."

Rick had taken the brainalyzer onto the ship with him as he had now connected it to the ship's communication device. He put on the helmet. "G-Good enough."

He activated the brainalyzer, transferring his mind into the Commander in Chief Rick's. Rick put down the communication device. "He's a spy. Blow him up. I'm gonna go take a shit."

...

Upon reaching the council hall, Lori and Leni were immediately put on trial in front of the council of Ricks. Riq IV listed their charges. "Operating an unregistered portal gun, conspiring with a traitorous Rick. How do you plead?"

"Literally, how is this a fair trial? Our lawyer is a Luan!" Lori asked, gesturing to the Luan who had her hair styled into a bun, wearing a black blazer and a white button down shirt.

"It's not fair, you have no rights and she's not a lawyer. We just keep her here because she's fun." Riq IV responded. "Look at her go." Lawyer Luan then laughed as she did a little dance. "We'll be lenient if you renounce your Rick. What say you, Leni."

Leni looked at the council in confusion. "But, like, how can I announce him if he's not here?"

Riq IV groaned in annoyance. "Goddamn, dumbass Lenis." He muttered to himself before speaking up. "I mean, do you reject your Rick? Like, not consider him a family member any more."

Leni frowned. "No way! I'd never do that! He's our family!"

Riq IV sighed. "Probably shouldn't have expected anything intelligent to come out of a Leni."

The other council members chuckled at this as Leni started to look downcast. "Hey, leave her alone!" Lori snapped.

Riq IV shrugged. "What? I'm just stating a universal truth. Lenis are dumb."

Leni scowled. "My Rick said I wasn't dumb."

Riq IV rolled his eyes. "Please, he probably only said that to spare your feelings."

"But, like, if that's true, doesn't that mean he at least cares about us?" Leni asked.

"Look, I don't really care what your Rick thinks. He was a terrorist and now he's dead."

"You really think he's dead?" Lori asked, stepping forward. "I know Rick. It'd take a lot more than that to stop him. And once he finds about what you've done to us, he's going to come for all of you!" The council responded by muttering amongst themselves.

...

Rick whistled as he entered the teleportation room. It was a large, circular room with a giant vat of some kind of green energy in the centre of it. One of the worker Ricks noticed Rick approach him. "Hey, whoa, whoa! What are you doing in here? This area's for teleporting the entire Citadel to somewhere else using only buttons and dials."

"Yeah, well, it's a bad idea to have it designed that way then, isn't it?" Rick said as he pushed the other Rick aside and pressed a couple buttons on his computer. An odd whirring sound started to come from the green energy before the citadel disappeared. It then reappeared right in the middle of the Galactic Federation prison, causing mass destruction for both the prison and the Citadel. Rick smirked as an alarm went off and all the Ricks started to panic. "What the fuck? We just teleported into a Galactic Federal prison!"

"I'm gonna go take a shit." Rick said before walking off.

...

Apart from one council member, who had gone to check what had happened, the council of Ricks looked around in fear, along with Lori and Leni, as the Citadel started to fall apart around them. "Looks like there's no order in this court!" Lawyer Luan joked, despite the situation. "Get it? Ha ha, ok, I'm leaving now."

Lawyer Luan then quickly ran off as the Citadel soon found itself under attack by both the Galactic Federation's prisoners and the gromflomites. Outside the citadel, ships from both the Federation and the Citadel engaged in an all out war. The missing council member then came back. "The Citadel's been teleported to Federation space. It's doomed! This has to be L-137, you guys. What are we gonna do?! You know he's coming for us."

The council members began muttering amongst themselves in fear. "All right, calm down!" Riq IV snapped. He then grabbed hold of Leni. "We have his Leni as a hostage. Obviously, I get her. You guys play Rick, Laser, Scissors for the Lori."

The other than played Rick, Laser, Scissors. All of them got scissors, apart from one who was holding a remote. "W-W-What the hell is that?" One of the councilmen asked.

The Rick holding the remote smirked. "Payback." He pressed the button on the remote which then sealed the doors behind him shut before taking off his robe, revealing the battle gear he was wearing. He then got out a laser gun and fired at the councilmembers.

Leni smiled with joy. "Grandpa Rick!"

Rick shook his hair, getting it back to his usual spiky style. "Duh."

"You're alive!"

Rick noticed Lori staring at him with a mixed expression on her face. Rick sighed before tossing her a laser gun. "Lori, take this. You're gonna need it later."

Rick then started to approach the one other remaining council member besides Riq IV, who was trying to escape through the window. "Hold on, hold on. Whoa!" He pleaded before Rick fired an electrifying shot at him.

"That's enough, Rick!"

Rick turned to Riq IV, who was holding a gun to Leni's head. "What-What's this supposed to accomplish? We have infinite grandkids. You're trying to use Disney bucks at a Caesar's Palace here."

Lori looked at Rick in shock. "What?! No, you can't let Leni die!"

"What?!" Leni screeched.

Riq IV grinned. "You're a rogue Rick. Irrational, passionate. You love your grandkids. You came to rescue them."

"I came to kill you, bro. I can easily just get her replaced." Rick said, aiming his gun at Riq IV.

Leni stared at Rick in horror as her face started to go pale. "But...but..."

"Why not shoot through her?" Riq IV asked.

"Twenty yards, nine-gauge plasma pistol." Rick explained. "My first shot would liquify her insides and injure you, second shot adds recoil. The risk to me is minimized if I wait for you to shoot her, which I'm encouraging you to do." Leni started hyperventilating. This was it. She was actually going to die. "Or let her go, which I will reward with a quicker death."

"Because you love her!" Riq IV sang.

"Because it's incentive for you to give me my cleanest shot, which will be your least painful death." Rick explained. "But if you want to die slower than that, I'm super into it. All you got to do to get that started is kill the girl."

"Rick, how could you?!" Leni sobbed with tears streaming down her face.

"Pretty easily, sweetie."

Rick then heard a gun activate. He glanced to the left, seeing Lori aim her gun at him. "Don't you DARE try to shoot my sister!"

"Lori, I know you're too stupid to get this, but you're really fuckin' this up right now."

"Shut up!" Lori shouted. "Just drop the gun or I will literally turn you into a human cheese grater!"

"I wasn't gonna let her die, you fuckin' moron!" Rick snapped.

"Ha!" Riq IV laughed while Leni exhaled in relief.

"The point is he thought I was going to."

"I totally did, by the way." Riq IV added. "You're a fucking moron, Lori."

"You're a serious fuckin' idiot, Lori! You're the worst! For once, could you just not be such a stupid bitch?"

As Rick ranted, Lori started growling in anger. She then screamed with rage as she shot Rick in the head, killing him. "WHO'S THE STUPID BITCH NOW, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!"

Leni stared at the scene in disbelief while Riq IV started laughing, letting go of Leni. "That was amazing, Lori. Oh my God. Wow. Ok, let's wrap this-"

Riq IV was then shot in the head by none other than Rick. Rick then stood up, smiling. "Good job, Lori."

Leni stared, dumbfounded. "Like...what just happened?"

Lori had a neutral look on her face as she took a note off of the side of the gun she was holding and showed it to Leni. The note read 'Fake gun. Shoot me in standoff'. "Sorry Leni. I had to play along."

Rick put his arms around both of them. "Yep. Oldest Rick trick in the book. Uh, sorry if I scared you for a minute there, Leni."

"I-It's okay." Leni stuttered.

Rick then turned to Lori. "Oh and Lori, I know you're still upset over what happened with Tammy but I swear to you, I have never had anything to do with her. If we ever find her again, we'll both get some answers out of her. How does that sound."

Lori thought about it for a moment before nodding. "Ok. Um, do you mind if I spoke to Leni in private for a moment?"

Rick shrugged. "Sure." He then walked away to give the two girls privacy.

"You know Leni, maybe you were right." Lori admitted. "So much has been happening lately. I guess it was just easier to blame it all on Rick." Lori then noticed that Leni still seemed a little shaken up. "Are you okay, Leni?"

"Y-Yeah, it's just...I guess I can see your point too now." Leni admitted. Lori frowned. She knew her issues with Rick weren't quite resolved yet. Maybe not today but at some point, she needed to have a serious conversation with Rick.

"You done?" Rick asked. "Because there's one more thing we need to do before we go home."

"What's that?" Lori asked.

"What else? Destroy the Galactic Federation."

...

Rick, Lori and Leni ran through the Citadel, which had now turned into a battlefield between the gromflomites and the Ricks, before eventually entering a section of the Galactic Federation prison. "And that is how you get level-nine access without a password." Rick remarked.

The three eventually reached a room with a large computer and a lone gromflomite guarding it. The winged gromflomite aimed his gun at them. "Freeze!"

Rick shot the gromflomite dead. "Employee of the month, ladies and gentlemen." Rick then started to get to work on the computer.

"So, how exactly are you going to take out the Federation?" Lori asked.

"Well Lori, watch closely as Grandpa topples an empire by changing a one to a zero." Rick said as the worth of one blemflarck went down to zero, rendering all blemflarcks worthless.

"So, was this literally your plan all along?" Lori asked.

"As much as I'd to take that much credit, this probably wouldn't have happened if the Galactic Federation's President didn't tell me that his only access to the Federation's financial system was right here." Rick admitted.

"Wow...that is actually really dumb."

"I know, right? What a dumbass!"

...

The Galactic Federation's President was doing some paperwork when a Federation worker ran into his office. "Mr. President, the blemflarck's value just dropped to nothing."

"What do you mean?" The President asked.

"I mean, our single centralized galactic currency just went from being worth one of itself to zero of itself."

The other workers erupted into panicked murmuring before the President stood up. "Calm down, people. Deploy the galactic militia and declare martial law."

"Yes, sir." The Federation commander saluted. An unsure look then appeared on his face. "Uh, what should I pay them with?"

"Their payment is the honour they'll feel to serve their-" The other gromflomite worker paused. "Wait. Who's paying me to yell at this guy?"

"I can answer that. For money." Another worker offered.

As everyone started arguing with each other, the President could only stare as the situation started to sink in. He had failed. The entire Federation, as well as gromflomite society itself, was about to crumble, all because he made one fatal mistake. All because he underestimated Rick Sanchez. What an absolute joke. He almost wanted to laugh. "Gentlemen, gentlemen, gentlemen!" Everyone's attention was now on him as he sat back down. "There's a solution here you're not seeing." The President then got out a gun and shot himself in the head.

The other gromflomites stared at the President's corpse. "Give me your jacket!" All of them then started to brawl with each other.

...

The effect of the government's collapse was soon felt on Earth as Lynn Sr. crawled along on the floor, trying to avoid the massive brawl as he made his way out of the restaurant.

Meanwhile, Albert poked his head out from a manhole before climbing out, holding a shotgun as he fired at a couple gromflomite soldiers. "No longer will the insects have domain over surface world!" He cried as everyone else then climbed out of the sewer, joining the fight in order to drive away the Federation.

Lincoln, who was holding onto a handcrafted spear, had also joined the fight. Eventually, he found his father being cornered by an aggressive, tentacled alien. "P-Please don't eat me!" Lynn Sr. pleaded.

Before the alien could attack, a spear suddenly went through him. As he fell to the ground, Lynn Sr. then saw his son behind him. "Dad!"

"Lincoln!" Lynn Sr. then got up and wrapped his arms around his son. "Thank goodness you're okay! Come on, we need to get home."

...

Rita and the other sisters stared out of the window as many ships started to leave the planet. They then heard the front door open as a panting Lincoln and Lynn Sr. entered the living room. "Oh thank goodness, you're both okay." Rita then noticed the spear with green goo on the end it that Lincoln was holding. "Um, what is that?"

Lincoln tossed the spear aside. "Nothing."

A portal then opened up as Rick, Lori and Leni stepped out of it. "Dad?!" Lynn Sr. exclaimed in surprise. "What happened?"

"Long story short, you'll never have to hear about the Galactic Federation ever again." Rick replied.

"What are Lori and Leni doing with you?" Rita asked.

"They helped me out." Rick responded. "Your kids are heroes. Couldn't have taken down the Federation without them."

The siblings all looked at Lori and Leni with admiration. "Whoa! Way to stick it to the man, Lori!" Luna praised.

Lori laughed nervously. "Eheh. It was no big deal."

"I have a lot of questions to ask..." Rita then sighed. "But honestly, I'm just glad this nightmare is over with."

Rick shrugged. "Well hey, if anyone needs me, I'll be in the garage."

...

Rick entered his garage, rolling his eyes at the state it was in now. "Of course." Rick then went over to a table with a couple dead flies as he arranged them in an order that caused the garage to transform, changing it back to the way it used to be. All of the siblings then came into the garage. "So, is the Federation really gone now?" Lincoln asked.

"Of course it is, Lincoln." Rick said as he started to go on another long rant. "It's over! I've destroyed both the Galactic Federation and the Citadel of Ricks. They both crossed me so I made both of them go away. Forever. There's not gonna be any season long arcs leading up to some stupid final battle because both of my biggest threats are gone. It's over. From now on, it's smooth sailing. Everything's gonna be real light hearted from here on out because nothing can touch us now. Nothing depressing is gonna happen. No one's gonna leave us. And there won't be any dumb memes that completely destroy my reputation. Do you know why? Because I don't actually care that much about that Mulan Szechuan teriyaki dipping sauce, kids. It's just average. The joke isn't funny any more because people took it too far and did stupid shit that made me look bad. So I'm ending that meme, right here and now. Just like how I ended the Federation and the Citadel."

There was a moment of silence before Lori spoke. "Great. I'm gonna go to bed now."

As the siblings started to leave, Lincoln lingered behind. He wondered if this really was the last they'd see of the Federation or the Citadel. He didn't know why but he couldn't shake the feeling that this wouldn't be the last big threat his family would face. "Hey, Lincoln." Lynn then greeted, giving him a friendly smile.

"Huh? Oh, hey Lynn."

"Man, I'm so glad that dumb Federation is gone. Those guys sucked."

Lincoln nodded. "Yeah, me too."

Lynn grinned. "So, how about we celebrate with a little bit of sparring?"

Lincoln groaned. He really did not enjoy sparring with Lynn. It more often than not left him full of bruises. "Um, maybe some other time."

"Oh come on." Lynn moaned. "When's the last time we even hung out? Come on. It'll help you man up a bit."

Lincoln shook his head. "Sorry, Lynn. I'm not really in the mood. Maybe some other time." With that, Lincoln left while Lynn sighed in disappointment.

...

The Galactic Federation may be down, but it wasn't completely out. Not all of it's members joined for monetary reasons. It's new leader, Tammy Guetermann, walked down the hallway of the Federation's new secret base on Gromflom Prime before reaching the lab where a large number of gromflomites were working on something. "Is it ready?" She asked.

"Yes. We can bring it online now." A gromflomite worker responded.

"Do it."

The gromflomites moved aside as the thing they were talking about was brought online. The thing in question was Birdperson, with most of his body having been replaced with mechanical parts, leaving only parts of his face, chest and thigh intact. He also still had his brain, which was visible behind the glass around his head. He opened his eyes, one of them now completely red, as he spoke. "I am Phoenixperson."

A mildly disapproving look appeared on Tammy's face. "Phoenixperson? Is that what we settled on? I thought we all agreed on Cyberbird."

"You said you didn't care what he was called as long as we brought him back." The gromflomite worker argued.

"Yeah, but Phoenixperson?" Tammy facepalmed. "Fine, fuck it. Who cares?" Tammy then went over behind him and put her arms around him before the now rocket powered Phoenixperson, flew out of the base. Tammy wasn't quite sure why she had brought back Phoenixperson. She supposed a part of her held some affection for him after living with him for a few months. She had made a lot of sacrifices in order to reach her goal. Including her friendships. After everything she had lost, she might as well try and keep something positive since there was no going back now

...

For once in his life, Evil Lincoln could count himself lucky that he had been exploring different universes as the attack happened. As he stared at what was left of the Citadel, he couldn't help but chuckle. As far as he was concerned, they all got exactly what they deserved. Still, it wouldn't be long until the Citadel was rebuilt. And when that happened, he could finally start the biggest plan he had ever made. He was the man with the plan after all.


	26. Rick And The Casagrandes

"Lincoln! Hurry up! We don't want to be late." Lori shouted from the bottom of the stairs.

"Coming!" Lincoln called out as he hurriedly ran down the stairs. It had been two weeks since the Federation had collapsed and all of the aliens had left Earth, bringing things back to semi-normal. Since Ronnie Anne and her family had lost their house, they had since moved into an apartment in a busier part of Royal Woods along with the Casagrandes. The Casagrandes had managed to rebuild their lives in Royal Woods with Hector even managing to start up a new bodega underneath the apartment. He had even hired Bobby to help him run it. Now that they've settled in, they had invited Lincoln and Lori to come around for dinner.

Lori and Lincoln had left the house, only for Lori to groan upon seeing the van nowhere in sight. "Seriously, Leni? I swear, I literally told her we'd be using it today. Great. Now we're definitely going to be late."

"We could ask Grandpa Rick to give us a ride." Lincoln offered. Lori gave Lincoln a look that basically asked 'Do you really think it's a good idea to have Rick meet the Casagrandes'. "Look, I know what you're thinking. As long we tell him to just behave, what could go wrong?"

Lori groaned, seeing not many other choices if she wanted to get there on time. "Fine."

...

Lori was sat next to Rick in his cruiser (which Rick had somehow managed to take back from the Federation) while Lincoln was sat behind them. Lori sighed after finishing a conversation with Rosa over the phone. "Ok, I just finished talking to Bobby's grandma. She said she's perfectly fine with making dinner for Rick."

"Hoo boy. Can't wait to meet this cast of characters." Rick said sarcastically.

Lori narrowed her eyes at him. "Rick, I swear, we're just here to have a normal dinner. Can you please make sure this doesn't end up with us going on another insane adventure?"

"W-What do I look like? Some kind of adventure junkie who can't go five minutes without an adventure? Trust me, there's nothing to worry about."

Lori sighed, hoping she could just take Rick's word for it.

...

It wasn't long before Rick landed his cruiser near the apartment building and the three made their way up to the floor the Casagrandes were living at. Upon ringing the doorbell to their apartment, the door was soon answered by Ronnie Anne. "Hey, Lincoln."

"Hey, Ronnie Anne."

"Bobby and Abuelo are still at the bodega. They're probably closing up about now so they should be here soon." Ronnie Anne explained before opening up the door for them. "Come in."

Upon entering the apartment, the first thing the three saw was Carl, who was currently doing some one-armed push ups. Though he had actually only just started upon realising that Lori was here. "Five thousand-" He then pretended to have only just noticed Lori as he got up. "Oh. How embarrassing. I didn't see you guys walk in." He then went down on one knee, trying to give Lori a charming smile. "Greetings, my lovely gazelle!"

"Oh, hey, Carl." Lori greeted, giving a slightly uncomfortable smile.

Rick rolled his eyes. "Oh boy. Another little kid, creeping on Lori. As if Clyde wasn't enough."

"H-Hey! I'm not a creep!" An offended Carl spluttered.

"K, then maybe don't hit on your cousin's girlfriend then, huh?"

Carl growled in anger and embarrassment before storming off. "Rick." Lori said in a warning tone.

Rick shrugged. "What? I was just defending you."

"Rick, he's literally seven."

"Ah, you're all here." Rosa said as she approached the group. "You must be that Rick Sanchez I've heard so much about. My name is Rosa. It is so good to meet you."

Rick raised an eyebrow. "Uhh...likewise?"

"Squack! Nice hair, spiky." Sergio squacked as he flew up to Rick.

Rick narrowed his eyes at Sergio. "Your parrot seems oddly sapient."

Rosa chuckled. "Oh, he's so smart, isn't he. Talking to him is almost like having a real conversation with someone."

"Whatever. Just keep the rat with wings away from me please."

Sergio hissed at Rick in response before flying away. Rosa looked slightly worried. "I'm, uh...gonna go back to the kitchen. I've still got a lot of cooking to do."

As Rosa left, the group then saw Carlota approach Ronnie Anne. "There you are. I've been looking for you all day! I was gonna show you some outfits you could have worn to impress Lincoln before he got here."

Ronnie Anne started blushing. "Carlota!" She then cleared her throat and turned to the group to introduce her cousin. "Uh, this is Carlota. She's a bit of a fashion expert."

"Oh, so basically a less interesting Leni then. Got it." Rick said plainly.

Carlota gave Rick a confused look. "Huh?"

"Rick!" Lori warned in a slightly angrier tone.

Everyone then heard a gasp and looked to see Carlos staring at Rick in amazement. "Rick Sanchez! I never thought we'd ever meet face to face!"

Ronnie Anne raised an eyebrow at her uncle. "You know him?"

"I know a lot of him." Carlos explained. "He's rather infamous in the science community." He turned back to Rick. "It's just a shame that you never shared any of your inventions with the rest of the world. I'm sure they'd help out a lot of people."

"Trust me. Most of the world would have no idea what to do with my inventions." Rick stated.

Carlos sighed. "Well, if you insist." He then noticed his wife approaching the group while carrying Carlitos. "Oh, this is my wife, Frida and our son, Carlitos.

"Nice to meet you, Rick." Frida greeted.

Rick looked at Carlitos, who was giving him the exact same unimpressed look that Rick was giving him. "Another baby. How original." Rick then looked at Frida. "So, what's your gimmick then or whatever?"

"Huh? Well, I'm a photographer."

"Wow, that sounds really interesting." Rick lied, earning an elbow to his side from Lori.

Frida laughed awkwardly. "Yes, well, I'm also an artist." She then sighed. "It's so nice that we can all have a nice, normal meal like this after...everything that's happened." She started to get teary-eyed.

Rick raised an eyebrow at her. "Uh, you doing okay?"

Frida nodded. "Mhm. I just need a moment." She then walked off with Carlos and Carlota following after her.

"Lincoln and Lori are here! Hooray!" The group then heard CJ cheer as he ran over to them.

"Hi, CJ!" Lori greeted.

"Hey buddy, long time, no see!" Lincoln greeted as CJ gave him a hug.

CJ let go of Lincoln and turned to Rick. "You must be Lincoln's grandpa. Are you a super genius scientist?"

Rick gave CJ a friendly smile. "I sure am, buddy!"

"Ooh! What stuff have you invented?"

"Oh, you know, spaceships, shrinking machines," He got out his portal gun from his coat pocket. "This portal gun that can take me literally anywhere in the multiverse."

"Wow!" CJ gazed at Rick in amazement before turning to Lincoln. "Your grandpa's really cool, Lincoln!"

Lincoln scratched the back of his head, slightly confused by what just happened. "Um...thanks?"

As CJ then went back into the living room, Lori also gave Rick a confused look. "That was...oddly nice of you."

Rick shrugged. "What? The kid was nice. I was nice. W-W-What's the big deal?" Lori supposed she couldn't complain. Especially considering she would have wrung Rick's neck if he had made a jibe at CJ. "So what, any more wacky family members I need to be introduced to or what?"

Ronnie Anne smirked. "You still haven't met Lalo."

"Lalo? Whoa!" Rick was then caught off guard as the dog suddenly tackled him to the floor to start licking him. "Jesus Christ, get this fucking thing off me!"

Lincoln, Lori and Ronnie Anne snickered at Rick's expense before Ronnie Anne turned to Lincoln. "Hey, while we're waiting for dinner, there's something I want to show you."

...

Ronnie Anne had led Lincoln outside her room window and onto the exterior staircase. Due to how high up Ronnie Anne's apartment was, Lincoln could see most of Royal Woods underneath the summer evening sky. "Whoa."

"Nice view, huh?" Ronnie Anne remarked.

"So, I'm guessing you're okay with your extended family now?"

Ronnie Anne gave a light smile. "Yeah. It's actually kinda nice, living with a big family. They're really sweet. Plus, it got way better once we moved out of the sewer. And hey, if you can put up with living with a big family, why wouldn't I?"

Lincoln chuckled. "To be fair, you still don't have to live with a crazy, genius grandpa."

"Fair enough. Still, it's gonna be quite an adventure, but I'm up for it."

Both of them then heard a window open before a light-skinned, half-Chinese girl, with long brunette hair and freckles came down the stairs. She wore a blue long-sleeved shirt revealing her shoulders, black shorts, a pink headband, white earrings, red socks, and black tennis boots. "Hey, Ronnie Anne!" She greeted enthusiastically.

"Oh, hey Sid." Ronnie Anne greeted back. "Sid, this is Lincoln. Lincoln, Sid. We met the other day at the park just as her family were about to move in."

"You mean considering moving in." Sid corrected. "Yeah, crazy story, me and Ronnie Anne tried trashing the apartment my parents were considering moving into just so no one else would try to move in. It didn't work out that well."

Lincoln gave Ronnie Anne a confused look. "It's a long story." She explained.

Sid then started acting nonchalant, idly kicking her leg back and forth. "So, Lincoln..." She suddenly got excited. "Is it true your grandpa's a genius scientist who can invent anything?!"

Lincoln raised an eyebrow at Ronnie Anne, who shrugged in response. "What? Everyone else in Royal Woods knows about him at this point."

"Sorry, I'm just super into robotics and stuff." Sid explained. "Do you think your grandpa could show me some stuff he's made?"

"I'm not sure you'd really want to meet my grandpa." Lincoln admitted. "He can be a little...rude."

Sid scoffed. "Pfft. Can't be any worse than my sister. She's, like, a professional little sass bucket. Oh, but you have like, ten sisters, right?"

"Yep." It was almost funny to Lincoln how the fact that he had ten sisters wasn't the most interesting aspect of his family any more. "So, did you only just move to Royal Woods?"

"Yeah. We were originally gonna move to Great Lakes befooooore..." Sid cringed at herself. "Yeah..." There was a moment of awkward silence before Sid cleared her throat. "So, you guys are going to Royal Woods Middle School too, right?"

"Huh?" Lincoln blinked in surprise. "Oh, yeah." After everything that happened this month, he had almost forgotten that he'd soon be going to middle school. He supposed Ronnie Anne wasn't the only one whose life was changing. His dad had been able to keep the restaurant that the Federation had given him, now being able to run it his own way. Luan would be starting her first year of high school while Lori would be on her last before she left for college. Lynn would be on her last year of middle school while Lisa would be starting 1st grade. He supposed none of these changes really bothered him or the rest of his sisters though. Nothing would be as big of a change in their lives than the day Rick came to live with them. He doubted anything would be able to top that.

...

Rick stared down at the rather large portion of food that Rosa had just served him. Everyone was sat around a long table apart from Ronnie Anne and Carl. "What, you couldn't add more food?" Rick sarcastically quipped.

"Oh! You needed some more?" Rosa asked as she came around to add even more food to Rick's plate. "Eh, eat! Eat!"

Rick stared down at the large pile of various food in bewilderment. "Wow. Um. Ok then."

Next to Rick, Hector leaned towards him in order to speak to him. "So, Rick. You've lived in Royal Woods for a while, right? Got any good gossip on anyone?"

"No because gossiping is what people do when they have literally nothing interesting going on in their lives and nothing better to do." Rick plainly stated.

Hector frowned. "Well, you don't have to be so rude about it."

Upon noticing Ronnie Anne take a seat next to him, Rick turned towards her. "You know, Ronnie Anne, after meeting your family like this, I gotta admit, seems kinda similar to our family. You know? With how big it is? I don't know, it's like you got your own spin-off show or something."

Ronnie Anne gave Rick a confused look. "What are you talking about?"

"Ah, forget it." Rick then spoke up to get everyone's attention. "Hey, you guys remember when Family Guy had that spin-off show? You know, The Cleveland Show? Boy, what a misstep that was. I mean, first of all, who the hell wanted to see a show about Cleveland? I mean, some side characters are just better off staying side characters, you know? There-There was really just no point in making him move away. Second, the show was basically just the same as Family Guy. Same kind of jokes. Same writing style. You even got the same kinda set up. Same amount of family members, a group of friends. Except they're all way less interesting or funny. They pretty much turned Cleveland into Peter Griffin as well. The whole show was pretty much just a worse version of Family Guy. There was literally no point to it existing. Well, apart from it being a poor attempt to appeal to a minority group which didn't even really work. It's no wonder the show got cancelled."

There was a moment of silence as no one at the table had any idea how to react to anything Rick had just said. Even Sergio was speechless. "I, uhh...never actually watched Family Guy." Carlos admitted.

Rick waved his hand dismissively. "Eh, you're not missing much. Show's trash nowadays." Lori's head then dropped to the table in mortification.

Rosa frowned. "Hey, where's Carl?"

...

"What is this thing?" Carl asked himself as he stared at Rick's portal gun from his room. He had managed to sneak up and steal the gun from his coat portal while he wasn't looking as payback for calling him a creep. "Wonder how much this could sell for?" He asked as he started fiddling with the gun.

"WHOA!" He then fell back as he accidentally fired a portal. He gazed at the portal in both mesmerisation and curiousity as he dropped the portal gun before wandering into the portal.

...

"Mija, be a dear and go get Carl, would you?" Rosa asked.

"Sure thing, Abuela." Ronnie Anne replied before getting up and making her way to Carl's room. A few moments later, she ran back in with an urgent look on her face. "Um, can I borrow Lincoln's grandpa for a moment?" Rick raised an eyebrow before getting up and following Ronnie Anne to Carl's room.

Before he made it though, he was suddenly confronted by Sid. "HI!"

Rick stared at her, wide-eyed. "Um...hi?"

"So you're an inventor, right?"

"Uhh-"

Sid started bouncing in excitement. "Could you show me one of your inventions? Do you have anything on you right now?"

Rick groaned before digging around in his coat pocket. "Ugh, fine. Here, uhh...have this." He handed Sid the robot that he made to pass butter before going into Carl's room."

"Ooh! So what do you do?"

"I...pass...the butter." The robot replied in what almost sounded like a depressed tone.

Sid raised an eyebrow. "Oh. Um...neat? I guess?"

"My existence is as meaningless as life itself." Sid started to feel uncomfortable.

...

Rick entered Carl's room to see Ronnie Anne holding his portal gun. "What is this?" She asked.

Rick's eyes widened before he patted the pocket he kept his portal gun in. "That little shit."

"Mr. Sanchez, what's going on here?"

Rick groaned. "Look, just call me Rick. What happened is that your creepy little cousin stole my portal gun and teleported himself to who knows where in the universe."

Ronnie Anne gaped at Rick in shock "WHAT?!"

"It's okay." Rick said as he took his portal gun back. "All we have to do is just follow after him and bring him back."

"Should we tell Lincoln or Lori about this?"

"Hell no! They already asked me not to have this turn into an adventure and I do not need to give Lori any more ammo against me. So don't worry about them. We'll go get your cousin."

Ronnie Anne blinked in surprise. "We?"

"Yeah, us! You and me! Rick and Ronnie Anne! It'll be like our own spin-off or something!"

"Ok, I don't know why you keep bringing up spin-offs but..." A look of determination appeared on Ronnie Anne's face. "OK. Let's do this!" She had to admit, she was always curious about how these adventures with Rick went. Rick then fired a portal before they both stepped into it.

...

Rick and Ronnie Anne exited the portal and found themselves in what looked like some deserted wasteland underneath an orange sky. "What is this place?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"HELP!" They then heard Carl scream as they turned to see Carl cowering away from a large, red alien towering over him. The alien had sharp teeth, four eyes and four arms as well as an extra set of arms where his ears would be.

"Carl!" As the alien was about to attack Carl, Ronnie Anne, without really thinking, ran in front of the alien and attempted to try and block his attack. She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the worst.

"YAARGH!" The alien howled in pain as he recoiled his fist. Ronnie Anne blinked in confusion. That barely felt like anything.

"Punch him, Ronnie Anne!" Rick shouted.

"What?!"

"Just do it!"

Deciding that it'd probably be wise to just listen to Rick, she then punched the alien in the gut, causing him to hunch over in pain. Realising that Ronnie Anne was much stronger than him, the alien decided to retreat, whimpering as he ran away.

Ronnie Anne then turned to Carl. "Are you okay, Carl?"

Carl stared at Ronnie Anne. "You...you saved me."

Ronnie Anne smiled. "Of course I did. Why wouldn't I?"

Carl then wrapped his arms around her. "You're my hero, Ronnie Anne!"

Ronnie Anne blushed, not used to getting this kind of praise. Especially from Carl. "Um. Thanks." She then noticed Rick approach them. "What was that guy?"

"That was a gazorpian." Rick explained. "Yeah, they're not as strong as they look. You could totally handle them, Ronnie Anne."

Carl let go of Ronnie Anne. "Wait, does that mean I could've taken him on?"

Rick shook his head. "No, he would've totally squashed you. Like, you'd be dead if it wasn't for Ronnie Anne. I-I couldn't fight them either. Ronnie Anne's really tough though, so, you know."

"Whoa." Carl stared at Ronnie Anne in admiration. "You're amazing, Ronnie Anne!"

"Okay, time to go home." Rick's eyes widened as he looked at his portal gun. "Oh, you've gotta be shitting me. I'm out of charge!"

"What does that mean?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"What do you think it means?!" Rick snapped before grabbing Ronnie Anne's shoulders. "There's no charge left, Ronnie Anne. It's out of battery! Th-This thing's as good as useless now!"

Ronnie Anne started to get nervous. "B-But how are we gonna get home?!"

Rick let go of Ronnie Anne. "Don't worry. Luckily for us, this isn't another dimension. It's also lucky that I happen to know about this planet. We just need to find where the females are and...hope that they'll lend us a ship."

"But what if more of those gazorpians attack us?" Carl asked.

"Don't worry about that. We'll just use Ronnie Anne as our meat shield."

"Sorry, what?" Ronnie Anne gave Rick a pointed look.

"Don't worry about it. You've got this, Ronnie Anne."

...

"What in the world is taking them so long?" A frustrated Rosa asked.

"I'll go see what's wrong." Lincoln said before getting up to go find Rick, Ronnie Anne and Carl. A few moments later, he came back, looking slightly nervous. "Um...Ronnie Anne just texted me. She said she and Carl went out to...explore Royal Woods. Also Grandpa Rick went out to get some fresh air."

"What?" Rosa yelled. "But they haven't even finished their meals!" Everyone stared at Lincoln in confusion, apart from Lori who scowled, immediately realising what was happening.

"Um...they said they were gonna go out to eat." Lincoln bluffed.

Rosa huffed in irritation. "As if anything out there could be better than my cooking. I'll be sure to have a few words with them when they get back!"

"Should we go out and look for them?" Frida asked.

"Don't worry, Frida." Maria reassured her. "Royal Woods isn't like the big city. They'll be fine."

"If you guys want, I could give you a tour of Royal Woods once we've finished eating." Lincoln offered.

"Ooh, great idea!" Hector said. "It'd be good to know the area a bit better."

"While you guys do that, I could try looking for Ronnie Anne." Bobby offered.

"Actually, Bobby, I was hoping you could...show me the bodega you work at?" Lori asked.

"Oh. Sure thing Babe."

...

Ronnie Anne had just knocked out another gazorpian using only a couple of punches. It surprised her how well she was doing considering that she hadn't been in a real fight for months. Meanwhile, Carl was cheering her on. "So cool! You're unstoppable, Ronnie Anne!"

"So what's the deal with these gazorpians anyway?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Yeah! What's the deal with them?" Carl added. Ronnie Anne sighed in annoyance. Ever since they arrived here, Carl had been trying to emulate her, copying her every move. It got annoying really fast.

Rick sighed. "Oh boy, how do I explain this to a couple kids, uhh...ok, at some point, the gazorpians became so evolved that they discarded their females after finding an alternate way to...ahem, reproduce."

"Repro-what?" Carl asked, tilting his head.

"Have children." Rick replied. "This ended up causing them to focus entirely on war, so they bombed themselves back to the stone age and now they just fight with each other with sticks and rocks all day long. Meanwhile, the females pretty much just started their own society. If we can find them, we might be able to get a lift home."

"That sounds really disturbing." Ronnie Anne remarked.

"Yeah! Real disturbing!" Carl agreed, causing Ronnie Anne to roll her eyes.

Rick scoffed. "You think that's disturbing? You're just lucky I left out some of the more graphic details of that story."

Upon the three walking up a hill, they paused as they saw a large crowd of gazorpians. There was then a small earthquake before they heard a voice. "Dropping loads. Dropping loads." They then saw a giant, floating head float above the crowd before dropping a load of...interesting looking robots out of its mouth.

Rick frowned in slight disgust. "Uh, you kids might want to turn around for a minute or two."

"Uh, why?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Just do it!" Rick snapped. Ronnie Anne then turned away from the crowd which prompted Carl to do the same. A couple moments later, Rick said. "Ok, you're good." Ronnie Anne and Carl turned to see a load of floating, metal orbs float towards the mouth of the giant head. "Kids, grab-grab hold."

Ronnie Anne and Carl grabbed onto Rick as he got out a grappling hook and fired at one of the orbs. This caused the three to get carried along with the orb until they found themselves inside the mouth, with all of the orbs now stored inside glass, lightbulb-shaped containers. "Okay. Now what?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Obviously, we try to find the female gazorpians that are controlling this...head thing. Whatever it's called."

"Why exactly are we in a floating head anyway?"

"Good question, Ronnie Anne. Too bad I can't answer that. I have no idea why they're using a floating head to do this stuff." Rick then noticed two hooded figures approach them. "Oh, there-there we go. Listen, I'm Rick Sanchez from Earth. Don't mean you any harm. Coming in peace. It's all cool in the, uh...'Good in the neighborhood' is what I was trying to come-is what I meant. Look, we kinda ended up on this planet by mistake. Was kinda hoping you could give us a ride back?"

The two glanced at each other before taking off their robes. Unlike the male gazorpians, they looked more humanoid, being fully clothed and only having two eyes. Their skin colour wasn't as red as the Male gazorpians either, with both of them having very light, different shades of red skin. They were also rather beautiful, at least to Carl, who tried to give them both a charming smile. "Va-va-voom! Chicas guapas! So you babes are in charge, eh? I have to warn you, strong, independent women enflame the passion of my heart."

"Silence!" One of them shouted. She then lifted her hand using telekinetic powers to choke Carl and lift him up into the air.

"Hey! Put him down!" Ronnie Anne shouted.

"Your slave is ill-mannered." The other gazorpian explained.

"My slave?"

"We assume you are from a more primitive world, where men are still permitted to be servants. If he is a rogue male, tell us now and we will kill him."

"He's my slave!" Ronnie Anne said quickly. "He's definitely my slave."

The gazorpian let go of Carl, causing him to fall to the floor, coughing.

...

"Here's something else I did to help improve the bodega!" Bobby said as he was showing Lori around the currently closed bodega. He went around the counter and opened up the cash register. "I organized the money so all the presidents face the same way."

Lori gave a light smile. "You're such a businessman."

Bobby frowned. He could tell something was wrong with his girlfriend. Ever since they came to the bodega, she seemed somewhat distracted. "Is everything okay, babe?"

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine."

"Is...this about Tammy?"

Lori blinked in surprise. It wasn't exactly what was on her mind right now but she didn't mind taking about it. "Yeah. I guess I'm still finding it hard to believe everything that happened with her."

Bobby gave her a sympathetic look. "I know what you mean. I still can't believe she was some kind of secret agent either. But...I guess these things happen, you know?"

Lori raised an eyebrow. "That people turn out to be secret agents working for aliens?"

Bobby shook his head. "No, no. I mean that some people turn out not to be the kind of people you think they are."

"Bobby, I've known Tammy for years."

Bobby started to sweat. "I-I know that but..."

Lori sighed. "No, you're right. I'm sorry. What happened, happened. I just need to accept it and move on."

Bobby scratched his chin. "I wonder if she's still out there though. Do you think she's even alive after everything that happened?"

Lori frowned. She was surprised by how the idea of Tammy possibly being dead still troubled her.

...

After taking the Casagrandes to a couple landmarks in Royal Woods, Lincoln then decided to show them around the park. Frida took a photo of it. "Royal Woods is so much quieter than the big city."

"Squack! More like boring!" Sergio snarked.

"At least we won't have to worry too much about the kids going out now." Carlos remarked.

While Lincoln was putting on a smile for the Casagrandes, inside he was extremely worried. What was Rick thinking, bringing Ronnie Anne and her cousin Carl on an adventure? If only there was someway he could find out where Ronnie Anne was.

"Come one, come all! Come see the one and only Anatomy Park! Ever wondered what it would be like to go inside the human body? Anatomy Park is the place for you!" Dr. Bloom's voice could be heard speaking into a megaphone.

Lincoln's eyes widened as he looked over at the small tent with a portal machine inside of it. Of course! Anatomy Park had just opened recently. Maybe something in there could help Lincoln find out where Ronnie Anne was. Lincoln then frowned. That meant he had to take the Casagrandes into Anatomy Park. This was really messed up but he didn't exactly have many other options.

...

The floating head floated across the desert before eventually stopping. A hole leading to the female gazorpian society then opened up beneath it with the head lowering itself into it. Ronnie Anne followed the two female gazorpians into their underground society, which looked much more civilised than the male society. Despite its alien appearance, it almost resembled a shopping mall. Meanwhile, Rick and Carl were being dragged along by the gazorpians with chains connected to their handcuffs. "You know, for the record, nobody likes a Casanova." Rick remarked to Carl, who was looking down in shame.

"Why do you keep hitting on women way out of your league anyway?" Ronnie Anne then decided to ask.

Carl started to look embarrassed. "I dunno...I thought that if they liked me, it'd make me look cool. You know, like you."

Ronnie Anne sighed. "Look, Carl, I'm not that cool."

Carl gave Ronnie Anne a surprised look. "What? Sure you are!"

"No. I'm not!" Ronnie Anne snapped. "Look, I know you've been trying to copy me because you think I'm cool but it's seriously bugging me so could you please just cut it out?" Carl looked downwards and pouted in response, causing Ronnie Anne to feel sorry for him.

The gazorpians eventually led the three to a room with a woman lying down on a chaise longue throne with long black hair under her golden tiara. She wore a white long sleeved dress that stopped at her knees. "I am Mar-sha, ruler of Gazorpazorp." She stood up and placed a hand on Ronnie Anne's shoulder. "I am here if you need to talk."

Ronnie Anne raised an eyebrow. "Okay...uh, what is this place?"

"Paradise." Mar-sha made her way out of her room and gestured for the group to follow her, which they did along with her guard. "We built it during the great passive-aggression, when the females separated from the males due to their increasingly destructive behavior."

Ronnie Anne then noticed a room with one of the metal orbs inside some kind of machine. The orb then dropped a baby into it. A screen on it displayed that the baby was female. "What is that?"

"A machine to help separate the males from the females." Mar-sha explained. "I won't go into the details of how we maintain our population. The females are placed into educational programs where they can discover a service to our paradise that fulfills them most" The baby then came out of the machine and was given to a nurse. Another orb then dropped another baby into it. This time, it was male. "Males...they get to play outside." This baby was sent down a conveyer belt before landing into a large catapult which launched the baby out into the surface.

Ronnie Anne stared in shock. "That was a baby..."

"And within a day, he'll be an adult male gazorpian." Mar-sha explained. "One of the most aggressively violent creatures in the universe."

"Still seems pretty messed up to me." Carl remarked.

Mar-sha then gave Ronnie Anne an expectant look. "What?" Ronnie Anne asked.

"Your slave spoke out of line. Aren't you going to punish him?" Mar-sha asked.

"Why would I do that?"

Mar-sha narrowed her eyes. "You really are from a more primitive world, aren't you? We'll only tolerate a male slave so much. You want us to give you passage back home, don't you? Either you punish him or we'll have to punish him for you."

Ronnie Anne stepped in front of Carl. "I am not hurting my cousin just to get a ride home!"

Mar-sha glared at Ronnie Anne. "I'm afraid you don't have a choice." She raised her hand, choking Rick and Carl and causing them to float upwards. Her eyes then widened as she looked at Ronnie Anne. "What?!" Ronnie Anne could feel a slight tightness around her throat and some kind of force trying to pull her up but otherwise, Mar-sha's telekinesis had little affect on her. "H-How is this possible?"

...

Frida snapped a photo of one of Anatomy Park's attractions. "I never imagined there'd be a place like this in Royal Woods!"

"It's so cool!" CJ exclaimed.

"It's so authentic!" Carlos remarked. "It's as if we're actually in a real human body!"

Lincoln laughed nervously. Anatomy Park had changed a lot compared to the last time he was here. Lots of people were roaming the place as if it was just like any other amusement park. There was also a few drones flying around the park. "I'm...gonna go find the bathroom." Lincoln excused himself before he went off to try and find the staff members.

After searching for a minute, he eventually came across Alexander. He was still wearing his mascot outfit and was doing a dance for a little kid. "Hey kid! Do you wanna learn more about the human body?" The kid blew a raspberry at him before walking off, causing him to slump. He then perked back up upon noticing Lincoln. "Oh! It's you! Uhh, Lincoln right?"

Lincoln gave a slight wave. "Uh, hey um..."

"Alexander. You know, I never had chance to thank you for helping us out back then. Even if it means I have to dance around in this damn suit all day."

"If you don't ming me asking, why are you working in a place like this?" Lincoln asked.

Alexander shrugged. "Why not? Sure, this job ain't perfect but look where we are! My name will go down in history as Alexander: The man who played the mascot for anatomy park! Better than being just some nobody, right?"

Lincoln slowly nodded. Personally, he didn't think he could stand the idea of wearing a mascot suit all day. "I guess...um, do you know if there's if anywhere we could see outside of Ronnie Anne?"

"Oh, Roger will know more about that. Hang on, let me call him."

...

Soon after getting called, Roger soon arrived to take Lincoln to an area called 'the secret theatre'. As they walked through the park, Lincoln asked. "So, what's the deal with all these drones?"

"Oh those? Oh, they do a bit of everything." Roger explained. "Keep the park clean, make sure everyone behaves and most importantly, make sure no diseases get in."

"Huh."

"Yeah, Rick really beefed up the security since last time. He even added some muscle and bone enhancing drones in case anything tried to harm Ronnie Anne from the outside. She's pretty much superhuman now. I doubt anything short of a nuclear explosion could harm her at this point."

Lincoln had to admit, it was nice that Rick made the effort to make sure that Ronnie Anne would stay safe. As well as make sure everyone in the park was safe as well. Not that it changed the fact that this park really shouldn't have existed in the first place.

Eventually the two arrived at some kind of elevator. Roger pressed a button with a picture of eyes on it, which Lincoln presumed was where they were headed as the elevator went upwards. After a moment of silence, Roger spoke. "Hey, uh, thanks for helping us out during that incident by the way. I don't know what my family would have done if I ended up kicking the bucket."

"Um, your welcome."

Roger chuckled. "Heh. It's funny. I took this job in the first place to try and get over getting divorced. Then that incident happened and I wondered to myself: What if that was it? What if I had died? Was this really how I wanted things to end? So, I went back to my ex-wife and somehow, we made things work between us again. Guess none of that would've happened if it weren't for you, huh?"

"Yeah, that's great." Lincoln wanted to be happier for the guy but he was too distracted by worrying over where Ronnie Anne was as well as this whole park. Eventually, the elevator came to a stop and the two entered a room that resembled a cinema with a giant screen. "What is this place."

"Originally, we were gonna use this place as a kind of attraction where people could watch what Ronnie Anne could see...until we realised that might be a breach of privacy." Lincoln scoffed. This whole place was a breach of privacy as far as he was concerned. "We still have it set up though in case of an emergency and we need to see what's happening."

Roger pressed a button on the wall as the screen then came on. Immediately, Lincoln could see an alien woman looking nervously at Ronnie Anne. Of course, Rick had taken Ronnie Anne on adventure to another planet. At least it didn't look like they were in danger now. Lincoln decided to watch until he knew for sure that Ronnie Anne and Carl were safe and coming home before he would call Lori.

...

Upon realising that Mar-sha's powers had little effect on her, Ronnie Anne decided to go on the offensive. "Put them down!" She shoved Mar-sha with much more force than she intended, causing her tumble over and let go of Rick and Carl. She backed away from Ronnie Anne in fear while her guard ran over to her, equally afraid of Ronnie Anne. "Y-You! You're even more of a brute than the males here!"

Carl ran over to Ronnie Anne. "She's not a brute! She's a hero!"

Mar-sha gave Carl a curious look. "Your slave seems to have a high amount of respect for you."

Ronnie Anne rolled her eyes. "He's not my slave. He's my family. My planet doesn't work like yours. Where we're from, both genders are equal."

"Eh, kinda." Rick added.

Ronnie Anne sighed. "I know guys seem to be really bad on this planet but it's not like that on Earth. I guess what I'm saying is you shouldn't judge every man in the universe just because the men you know suck."

Mar-sha stood up. "I suppose there is some truth in your words. After all, I've never met a woman on this planet that's anything like you. I suppose it's just hard to imagine any sort of decency coming from a male when every male on this planet is a savage."

"Well, maybe if you tried raising them here instead of throwing them out, you might actually get something out of them."

Mar-sha tapped her chin. "It's...something to consider. Very well." She turned to her guard. "Give the Earth people a spacecraft so they may head back to their weird planet." The guard nodded and walked off along with Mar-sha.

Ronnie Anne then turned to Carl. "Thanks for sticking up for me. I don't know why you think I'm some kinda hero though."

"Why wouldn't you be one?" Carl asked.

Ronnie Anne sighed. "I used to be kind of a bully."

Carl frowned, somewhat disappointed to hear that. "You did?"

Ronnie Anne nodded. "A couple years ago, there was this other girl that was bullying me. One day, I tried fighting back against her and I won, though I got into some serious trouble. Nobody messed with me after that, though I kinda let it get to my head." She then recalled the day Lincoln told her off. "Then I ended up getting a crush on someone. I didn't know how to handle it so I just bullied him. One day, he gave me a pretty big reality check. I've been trying to be better since but I definitely wouldn't call myself any kind of hero."

Carl frowned in thought for a moment before shrugging. "Well, so what? That's not how you are now, right? Nobody's perfect. After everything you've done today, I don't know how you could call yourself anything but a hero!"

Ronnie Anne chuckled. "Alright, I guess you've got a point." She supposed she couldn't fault Carl for acting like this. Now that she thought about it, she had acted the exact same way with Bobby when she was younger. She eventually grew out of it, just as she predicted Carl would as well. She supposed this was just part of being a big sister now.

...

Rick landed the aircraft outside the apartment building. He exhaled as he, Ronnie Anne and Carl got out. "Hey, you think your grandma would mind cooking another meal. I kinda get the feeling she wouldn't." Rick opened the door to the apartment building, only to see Lincoln and Lori glaring at him with their arms folded. "Ah crap."

"Rick! I told you not to turn this visit into an adventure!" Lori shouted.

"To be fair, you specifically said to make sure this didn't turn into an adventure for you two." Rick argued.

"That doesn't mean taking Ronnie Anne and Carl with you is any better!"

"It's my fault!" Carl confessed. "This wouldn't have happened if I didn't steal Rick's portal gun. I'm sorry."

Both Lincoln and Lori looked at Carl in surprise before Lori groaned. "You could've at least kept more of an eye on your portal gun, Rick."

"What's the big deal? The important thing is that they're safe right? A-Are you two okay?" He asked Ronnie Anne and Carl.

"Yeah. It was actually kinda fun." Ronnie Anne admitted.

"Yeah. That's what I said after my first real adventure." Lincoln said slowly.

Lori sighed, pinching the bridge of her nose. "Well...I guess them being safe is the most important thing. Just...please keep more of an eye on your stuff."

Lincoln had to admit, it was amazing how he and his sisters had come out unharmed on every adventure that they had been through. He wondered if Rick would always be able to prevent them getting hurt though.

...

It was the first day of middle school as Lincoln entered his first period math class. As luck would have it, Clyde, Ronnie Anne and Sid were also in the class as he went to sit near them. Eventually, the teacher arrived. He was an an African-American man with a mustache and black, balding hair. He was wearing a yellow v-neck sweater and an orange undershirt with a grey tie. He put on a pleasant smile. "Good morning class. I'm your new math and homeroom teacher, Mr. Goldenfold. Now I know some of y'all are nervous. You're all in a new school and meeting new people."

"WELL, YOU AIN'T THE ONLY ONES!" He suddenly snapped, getting angry. "Because of the Goddamn Federation blowing up mah city, I've had to move here and teach you brats!"

He suddenly calmed down, putting on a pleasant face again. "Now, can anyone tell me what this equation means?" He asked as he wrote an equation on the board.

"Hoo boy." Lincoln thought to himself. "This year is gonna be weird, isn't it?"


	27. Lynner Takes The Stone

Lincoln found himself lying on the ground, staring up at a sea of red clouds, floating by at an unnaturally fast pace. He got up and looked around. He appeared to be in a giant football stadium, big enough for all of Royal Woods to sit in attendance. In fact, he could even spot some familiar faces in the audience. On the other side of the field, he saw his sister, Lynn. She was glaring at him with a look of pure hatred in her eyes. In a blink of an eye, she was suddenly right next to him, swinging a spiked, metal bat towards his head.

...

"AH!" Lincoln woke up with a jolt before taking some deep breaths to calm himself down. That was certainly one of the most unsettling dreams he's ever had. Though he could probably guess why he would have a dream like that. Lately, Lynn had been continuously asking him about coming to her upcoming softball game, going on about how important it was and how he was the only family member (besides Rick) who hasn't come out to support her. That alone wouldn't be such a problem but every time she asked him, she was carrying her bat around with her. Almost as if threatening him with it. He didn't exactly want to go since lately, he'd found himself exhausted with both doing favours for his sisters and going on Rick's adventures and at some point, he'd just like to have some time to himself. He wasn't really into sports anyway so it's not as if he'd offer much. Maybe he should just put his foot down and tell her he wasn't going. Or he could just go. What's the worst that could happen?

And yet for some unexplainable reason, he couldn't shake the feeling that he'd already done this a million times before with each of them ending up or resulting in some kind of disaster. He shook his head. Maybe hearing so much about alternate universes was starting to get to him. Why even worry about it now? Her game was still a ways away. He decided to push all of this out of his head for now as he got out of bed and made his way to the door.

Only for the door to slam open into his face as an eager Lynn ran in. "You ready, Stinkoln? It's go time! WOO!" She hollered before running back out. Lincoln rubbed his sore nose as he pushed the door out of his face. He forgot that tonight was game night. Which would be a fun event were it not for Lynn. "Yo, twins! Hope you read the menu, 'cause you're about to get served!" Lincoln heard Lynn yell into the twins' room. It's not that he hated games or even really minded Lynn winning all the time. It's just that she wasn't exactly a 'good winner'.

...

After the last game night they had, Lynn was standing on the table, doing a victory dance while the rest of her siblings were giving her annoyed looks. "Oh yeah, baby! I win! Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner!"

"I thought we were having salmon?" A confused Leni asked.

...

After another game, Lynn cheered upon winning again. "YES! I WIN! HA!" She then flipped over the board, creating a mess. "Losers clean up!" She said before leaving as all of her siblings glared at her.

...

Lincoln could even recall one time where she waited until everyone fell asleep before writing 'loser' on everyone's foreheads. Needless to say, Lynn was obsessed with shoving her victories in everyone's faces, going on about how much better she was than them. Another reason he didn't exactly enjoy playing with her. Not any more at least.

...

Apart from Lynn, all of the siblings were sat in the dining room, waiting for Lynn to join them. Already, all of them were dreading how Lynn was going to act this time. Soon, Lynn joined them, taking a seat next to Lincoln. "Hey, I was just wondering. Do you guys know any good therapists?"

"Well, Clyde recommends-"

"To help you deal with your loss tonight?" Lynn taunted, interrupting Lincoln. "BURN!"

Everyone else sighed in exasperation. Lori then got up and walked over to the shelf where all the board games and cards were. "Ok guys, what'll it be tonight?"

"Go-go fishy!" Lily babbled.

Lori smiled as she picked up the cards. "Good choice, Lily. Go Fish it is."

...

"Lynn, do you possess any sevens?" Lisa asked.

"Hope you've got gas in your boat."

"Pardon? I have no aquatic vehicles."

"'Cause you're going fishing!" Lynn taunted. Lisa narrowed her eyes at Lynn before picking up another card. "Lori, you seemed pretty interested in deuces last round. Got any?" Lori sighed before giving Lynn her two. Lynn then slammed her cards onto the table. "Boom! Welcome to Losertown! Population: you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you, you!" She said as she pointed to each of her siblings.

"Well, now that that's over with." An irritated Lincoln said before he and the rest of his sisters proceeded to get up.

"Wait-wait-wait, hold on." Lynn said, waving her hands to stop them. "Tonight's special. It's my..." She got out a button and pressed it, causing a banner to come down from the ceiling with the words '300th Win!' on it along with a drawing of Lynn's grinning face underneath the words 'In your face!'. "300th win in a row!"

Lincoln stared at Lynn in disbelief. "You've been counting all of these?"

"I am unbeaten by you chumps!" Lynn bragged as she got out a bazooka and fired confetti at them before running off. "WOO!"

Luna coughed due to a bit of confetti going down her throat before realising something about the confetti. "Dudes, this confetti's made from our homework! Bogus!"

Lola sighed. "I can't take this anymore. She is so obnoxious."

"If only we could beat her just once, maybe she'd stop gloating." Lincoln pondered.

"How are we gonna do that when she's better at every game on the shelf?" Lori asked.

Lincoln stroked his chin before smirking. "Better than us maybe. But could she beat Grandpa Rick?"

...

Rick had his hands on his hips as he faced all of the siblings apart from Lynn and Lisa in his garage. "Let me get this straight. You want me to try and beat Lynn at a board game?"

Lincoln clasped his hands together. "Please Grandpa Rick! Every time she wins, she always has to rub it in our faces. If she lost for once, maybe she'd stop."

Rick stroked his chin. "So, you want me to give her a piece of humble pie, huh?" Rick had to admit, even hearing Lynn shouting about winning from the garage was irritating enough. "Alright, I'm in."

Lincoln pumped his fists. "Yes!"

Lisa then came into the garage, carrying a board game with her. "Just to guarantee Grandpa Rick's victory, I suggest we play this." She showed everyone the cover which had art of some anthropomorphic cats working on a farm. "Behold! The Settlers of Cat-Land! The objective is to build as many cat structures as possible." She smirked. "But here's the kicker: one cannot do so without forming alliances. Ergo, if we freeze out Lynn, she is bound to go down in proverbial flames."

...

Upon being invited to another game, Lynn blinked in surprise upon noticing Rick at the table. "Wait, Grandpa Rick's playing?"

Rick smirked. "Yeah. Heard you talking a big game. Sounded like someone needed to be humbled."

Lynn scoffed. "Uh, you know I've never lost a game, right? What makes you think you can beat me?"

"Uh, because I'm me." Rick bragged. "Hope you're ready because you're about to get fucking destroyed."

...

As the game went on, the siblings plan turned out to be a success as Lynn found herself in dead last. "What-de-eh...Seriously?!" She stammered. "No one has a yarn ball to trade me for some catnip?"

The siblings all mumbled out excuses for not giving her any while Rick just said. "Nope."

Lynn groaned loudly in frustration. "I can't build squat!" She slumped onto the table. "This game bites it! HARD!"

The cat timer then started to meow and ring, signalling the end of the game. A satisfied Lisa turned it off. "Well, I see our time is up." She checked the score on her notepad. "The winner is Grandpa Rick with a ten-way tie for second, and Lynn in a distant third."

"Oh ho!" Rick cheered. "In yo face, Lynn!"

Lynn then got up and got into Lisa's face, screaming. "COUNT IT AGAIN!" She was now shaking with rage.

Lisa gave her a smug look. "Lynn, I do not make errors."

The siblings all cheered as they and Rick all got up and left the room, leaving behind a flabbergasted Lynn. "Well, that ought to stop Lynn's competitive behaviour." Lisa remarked.

"And all of her gloating." Lincoln added.

...

The next day, Lincoln opened the fridge, got out a carton of milk and started to drink from it. He turned around to see Lynn standing behind him, with her own carton of milk. "I can chug faster than you!" She chugged down the milk before belching into Lincoln's face and smashing the carton on her forehead, splattering milk everywhere. "I win! In ya face, Milk-coln! WOO!" She said rapidly before running off.

...

Leni was making her way up the stairs before she heard Lynn shout. "Race you to the top!"

Lynn then charged up the stairs, shoving Leni against the wall on the way. "Ow!"

"WOO-HOO!" Lynn cheered upon making it to the top. "I win! Ho ho, you went down hard!"

Leni still tried to walk despite now facing the wall. "I thought I was going up."

...

As Lily was playing with some blocks, making a little tower, she then noticed Lynn had built her own tower with them. "Yes! I win. I stacked more blocks than you." Lynn then started doing a victory dance. She twerked onto Lily's blocks, causing them to fall on her as Lynn danced her way out of Lily's room. "Uh-huh! Uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh uh-huh!" Lily stuck her head out of the pile of blocks and blew a raspberry at her.

...

Lisa was mixing some chemicals together, not noticing that Lynn was also mixing some chemicals next to her until they blew up in her face. "BOOM! I win! Made an explosion first." Lynn bragged before running out the room.

"I wasn't trying to make an explosion!" Lisa shouted after her before her own chemicals exploded. "Dang it."

...

"I can wash faster than you." Lynn bragged to Lucy before she started washing the dishes rapidly.

...

Lola was brushing her teeth before Lynn came up to her, holding four toothbrushes. "I can brush faster than you!" She then brushed her teeth insanely quick before spitting and showing off her pearly whites. Lola then fainted upon seeing Lynn's gums start to bleed profusely.

...

"I CAN GO TO SLEEP THE FASTEST!" Lynn shouted as everyone was trying to go to sleep, causing all of the siblings to groan. "I CAN ALSO SNORE THE LOUDEST!" She then started to snore obnoxiously loud, causing the siblings to groan again.

"LYNN, SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Rick shouted from downstairs.

...

The next morning, everyone was greeted to the sound of Lynn shouting. "Woo! I was up first!"

...

"Ha, ha! Lori, I totally ate more bacon than you. Loser!" Lynn bragged from the dining room. A frustrated Lori then stepped into the living room with everyone else. "I can't take much more of this!"

"You and me both." Rick said as he stepped into the living room. "Come on Lincoln, lets go. This looks like as good a time as any to go on an adventure."

"Wait!" Lori yelled. "Please just take Lynn with you! Literally none of us can stand being around her right now."

Rick raised an eyebrow at her. "What, so you wanna make her my problem now?"

Lori clasped her hands. "Please! I'll literally do any favour you want if you could just get her out of our hair."

Rick rolled his eyes. "Fine, but I'll hold you to that."

...

A portal opened up in a desert before Lynn jumped out of it. "WOO-HOO! I win! I went through the portal first!"

Lincoln sighed as he and Rick followed behind her. "So, Lincoln and Lynn huh? That's uh...that's a combo we haven't seen too often." Rick remarked.

Lincoln realised Rick was right about that. He rarely went on adventures with Lynn alone and the very few times they did, nothing major really happened. Of course, Lynn wasn't exactly interested in going on adventures anyway though if he was honest, he also tended to avoid going on adventures with Lynn.

He soon found himself thinking about his relationship with Lynn. Over the past year, despite how dangerous Rick's adventures were, he found himself growing closer with each of his sisters because of them. All of them except for Lynn. Lynn was the only one he'd grown more distant from over the years. They used to be a lot closer though. Especially back when they were living in the same room. He smiled as he remembered the good times they had, often playing together. However, once Lincoln got his own room and Lucy moved into hers, that's when they slowly started to drift apart. Lincoln just chalked it up to differing interests. He was interested in comic books and video games while she was more interested in sports. They were still on friendly terms but then, middle school happened and something inside of Lynn changed. While she was always interested in sports, she started to become more competitive. More aggressive. More egotistical and completely obsessed with winning. That's when everything changed. The time Lynn stayed in Lincoln's room due to her spat with Lucy was a big reminder of how much things had changed between them. Lincoln could also probably guess why she had changed as he remembered the time he and Clyde had middle school orientation and had Lynn assigned as a buddy a while back.

...

"So remember." Lynn recounted as she guided Lincoln and Clyde around Royal Woods Middle School. "Rule number one: Don't act like a total noob. Rule number two: Don't get stuck with a crummy desk and rule number three: Never own up to making a mistake. You guys need to look tough. Middle school is a jungle. If you walk in here looking like a couple of weak chumps, you'll get eaten alive."

Lincoln shared an unsure glance with Clyde. Throughout the morning, Lynn had been telling them tales about a sixth grader who got sent on a wild goose chase after asking for directions, got literally stuck in the worst desk in class and got made fun of after owning up to farting in class. While it definitely made Lincoln nervous, he couldn't help but feel like some of these rules would make Lincoln come off as a jerk. "Are you sure this is how we should be acting?"

Lynn gave Lincoln a serious look. "Positive. Like I said, you don't wanna end up like m-" She cleared her throat. "You don't want to end up like that sixth grader, do you?" Lincoln and Clyde shook their heads. Lynn gave a satisfied nod. "Just remember. Never. Show. Weakness."

As that day continued on, Lincoln had only one thought in his head. Was that sixth grader that got bullied Lynn?

...

It turned out that Rick had brought Lincoln and Lynn to a post-apocalyptic version of Earth as Lincoln suddenly found himself in a situation that looked just like a scene from Mad Max: Fury Road. Rick was driving a rusted, turquoise buggy through the desert, getting chased by a gang of post-apocalyptic scavengers known as the Death Stalkers, all driving their own post-apocalyptic war chariots. The leader of the Death Stalkers was a monstrous looking man who heavily resembled the villain from Mad Max: Fury Road. Lynn was sat in the back of the buggy while Lincoln was stood up, trying to fire at them with a shotgun. "Lincoln, shoot the mohawk guy!" Rick shouted.

"They all have mohawks!" Lincoln shouted back.

"High fade, chartreuse with cyan highlights, layered on top. Shoot him!"

Lynn then stood up and snatched the shotgun away from Lincoln. "I can shoot better than you!" She first aimed at the mohawk guy closest to them. She fired and managed to land a headshot on him, causing his car to veer off to the side before crashing.

Lynn then noticed the leader of the Death Stalkers getting closer as he stood up and pointed towards her. "Your blood will be my lotion." Lynn ignored that remark as she aimed the gun at the front wheel of his three-wheeled car and fired. This caused it to flip over and crash before exploding, killing the Death Stalkers' leader. This distracted the rest of the Death Stalkers enough for Rick to gain some distance from them.

"YES! WOO-HOO!" Lynn cheered before doing a victory dance. "Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner!"

"Holy shit, Lynn for the win!" Rick praised. A radar that Rick had with him then went off. "Here we go." Rick then stopped the buggy next to crater as the three of them got out. "Isotope 322." Rick started as he got out a pair of tweezers and picked up a glowing, green shard from the crater before putting it in a container. "This stuff's so powerful, kids, it makes Isotope 465 look like Isotope 317."

Lincoln's eyes widened after he glanced behind him. "Uh, Grandpa Rick, I don't think we got enough distance from them."

The rest of the Death Stalkers drove up to the three before getting out of their cars and approaching them. At the front of the group was a large, powerful, muscular man, wearing a rusty bucket-shaped helmet over his head, with a thin, arching crevice for vision. White paint, depicting what looked similar to a skull, covered the front of his helmet. He also wore a steel glove over his right arm though he wasn't wearing much else. Rick got out his laser gun. "Hands and little shoulder-mounted dudes where I can see them!"

"I am Hemorrhage." The man greeted. "You have removed weak blood from us and made us stronger. We can combine our strength and feast on the weak together."

Rick stared at Hemorrhage in confusion. "Wh-Wh-What in the hell are you saying?"

"I think they want us to join them." Lynn guessed. She then gave a cocky smirk. "I mean, can't exactly blame them."

Rick then noticed a glowing, green rock, connecting to a small hill that was on top of one of the cars. "Oh, whoa. Uh, uh, what's, uh-what's that little bauble you got back there?" He asked, pointing towards it. "Th-Th-That's interesting."

"That is our glowing rock." Hemorrhage explained, gesturing towards it. "We carry it with us for desecration, to remind us there are no Gods."

Rick bit his lip as he pointed his radar at the rock, which then started to beep heavily. He then turned to Lincoln and Lynn. "Kids, weird pitch: let's have this be our new life. Let's be post-apocalyptic scavengers!"

"What?!" Lincoln exclaimed.

...

Rick, Lincoln and Lynn returned with the Death Stalkers back to their campsite filled with poorly made tents, barrels of toxic waste and skulls on pikes with various things being painted over with spray paint. The scavengers there were simply doing whatever they pleased, whether that be sleeping around, fighting or even spraying paint into their own faces. Lincoln could also swear he could hear heavy metal music playing from somewhere as the three of them stood in line for lunch. "Uh, why are we still here?" Lincoln asked.

"I'll explain in a minute, Lincoln, just wanna try out what they got here." Rick explained.

Lincoln noticed Lynn jogging in place, looking like she was waiting for something to happen or something to do. "You know, this doesn't seem like the safest place to stay."

"Relax, Lincoln. This world may be rough around the edges, but it's got its charms." Rick said before it was his turn in line.

"Bicep or quadricep?" The lunch server asked.

"Uh..." Rick cleared his throat. "Bicep." The lunch server then placed a piece of bicep onto Rick's plate. Rick then took a small piece off of it, observed it, then put it in his mouth, chewing on it slowly.

Lynn then pushed Rick aside, causing him to spit out the piece. "I can eat this faster than you!" She bragged before taking a big bite out of the bicep.

"Lynn, you know that's human meat, right?" Rick asked. Lynn's face went green for a moment before she barfed onto the ground. She then took some shallow breaths. "Wow, Lynn. Really showing everyone who the alpha is around here, aren't you?" Rick snarked, causing Lynn to growl in anger.

After Lynn had recovered, Rick brought her and Lincoln over to the glowing, green rock, which had some Death Stalkers happily gathered around it. "You see that green rock, kids? It's about twenty pounds of the stuff I was getting all hard for a flake of. If I can steal that, we'd never have to go out for another Mega seed ever again. We'd have unlimited energy."

"So all we need to do is steal it then?" Lincoln asked. He then started to look guilty. "Is that right though? If they knew what it did, these guys here would probably need it more than us."

Rick rolled his eyes. "It's a post-apocalyptic version of Earth, Lincoln, I'm pretty sure it's already too late for these guys. Anyway, we can't steal it now. There's too much heat on the bogey. We're gonna need a distraction." Rick looked around before noticing some kind of arena underneath a wooden dome. "Hey, you guys ever use that Thunderdome, or do you just put it up for decoration?" He shouted towards the Death Stalkers, getting their attention.

"Uh, you mean the Blood Dome?" One of the Death Stalkers asked.

"Save it for the Semantics Dome, E.B. White." Rick snarked. "The important question is, who wants to take a poke at this guy?!" He asked, pointing towards himself. The Death Stalkers cheered in response, ready for a fight. "I guess I'll see your asses in that dome!"

Lincoln and Lynn both gave Rick confused looks. "Grandpa Rick, what are you doing?" Lincoln asked.

"Slight change of plan." Rick said as he grabbed Lincoln and Lynn's wrists and took them behind a truck with the word 'Meat' painted on it. Inside the truck was a bunch of disembodied, human arms, hanging from hooks. "Ok, instead of either of you being distractions, I'm gonna be the distraction. While I'm fighting in that arena, you two will go steal that rock." Rick then got out a device. "This device extracts and redistributes muscle memory." He stuck the syringe part of the device into a dangling, muscular arm and pulled out some red liquid from it as the arm shrunk. "I'm gonna give my body a ten-year course in wasteland combat one limb at a time. You know, honestly, I'd have preferred to just let you guys go in there but, uh, recent events have made me consider trying to keep life-threatening situations to a minimum and to be honest, I don't really trust either of you to go in there without getting yourselves hurt."

Lynn gave Rick an annoyed look. "Are you saying you could do better in there than me?"

Rick raised an eyebrow at Lynn. "Uh, yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying. You do realise this isn't just another sports team from another school right? These guys will literally attempt to kill you."

Lincoln gave Lynn a worried look. "Lynn, I think it would probably be a good idea if we just let Grandpa Rick do this."

Lynn scoffed. "As if a geeky old man could do a better job than me."

Rick was started to get irritated. "Are-Are you serious? You're actually challenging me? Me?"

"Yeah." Lynn said confidently. "In fact, I know I could do better in there than you."

"Yeah, well, tough titties-hey!" Lynn then quickly snatched the device from Rick before injecting it into her own left arm. "What the fuck, Lynn!"

Lynn's arm then started to swell up, ripping off her sleeve. "Whoa." She flexed her fingers before suddenly punching Rick in the face, sending him flying back onto the floor.

"Lynn!" Lincoln shouted.

"I-I-I didn't do that!" Lynn yelled, a look of panic on her face.

Rick sat up, wiping away some blood from his nose. "Okay, this is exciting. We're making some discoveries about muscle memory."

Lynn's arm, now with a mind of its own, started to drag Lynn away. "Ah! Stop!"

"Lynn!" Lincoln shouted, following after her.

Lynn's arm dragged her all the way to the Blood Dome, forcing Lynn to jump in as her arm crushed one of the Death Stalkers' head. "And so it begins, my pretties!" The announcer shouted through his microphone.

"H-Hey, wait!" Lynn stammered before her arm grabbed the other Death Stalker's throat, choking him out. The arm then threw the mutant-looking man towards the ground before continuously punching his face in. As Lynn watched the man get beaten to death, her facial expression slowly changed as a manic grin started spread over her face. By the time the man's head was a bloody pulp, she realised she had regained some control over her arm. "WOO-HOO! I WIN!" Lynn cheered before doing a victory dance. "Lynn-er, Lynn-er, chicken dinner!" The crowd around the Blood Dome cheered for her, apart from Lincoln, who could only watch in horror.

...

"Woo! What a rush!" Lynn exclaimed as she stretched arms, now taking a break. She had never felt this kind of excitement from playing any of her sports.

Lincoln had no idea what to say to her. He just watched his sister beat a man to death and enjoy it. Sure, he and his sisters had been forced to kill before though it was only either because they were completely evil like Poncho or Fart or out of self-defence. This...this was just extremely messed up.

Both of them then noticed Rick approach them. "Oh, hey Rick, did you get that green rock you were blabbing on about?" Lynn asked casually.

Rick scowled at her. "No, I was busy trying to recover after you punched me in the fucking face!"

Lynn shrugged, unconcerned with her grandpa. "What, you can't take one punch? Geez, don't know how you would have survived in there if that's all it takes to put you down. Wimp."

Rick's scowl deepened. "Lynn...I swear to God..."

"So what now?" Lincoln asked, trying to diffuse the ensuing argument.

"Well, Lincoln, since I still don't have that rock, we're just gonna have to try this again. Lynn, you'll go back in there while I steal the rock."

"No problem." Lynn said confidently.

Lincoln gave Rick a concerned look. "Rick, is this really a good idea? This seems really messed up."

Rick shrugged. "Hey, I tried to play things safe and I got punched in the face for it. If Lynn wants to go out there and act like she's God's gift to the world then let her. D-Don't worry about feeling guilty, Lincoln. These people live in a post-apocalyptic wasteland. If they wanna throw their lives away on death matches then why feel guilty about giving them what they want? Can't be much worse than actually trying to live here."

Lynn put her normal arm around Lincoln. "Don't sweat it, Stinkoln. You know I never lose." Despite what Rick and Lynn said, Lincoln couldn't help but feel like this was going to end in disaster.

...

After doing some good luck rituals, (which for some reason, involved her doing a cossack dance) Lynn stepped back into the Blood Dome, showing off and doing some taunts for the cheering crowd. Her opponent was a disfigured man who had a rusted sword for a hand. The two then engaged in what seemed like one-sided battle as Lynn's fist quickly went to work on him. As Lincoln begrudgingly watched the battle, he then blinked in surprise as he realised Rick had come up next to him. "Grandpa Rick? What are you doing here?"

"You may have been right, Lincoln." Rick admitted. "This might've been a bad idea. I-I just wanted to make sure Lynn knew what she was doing because if anything happens to her, I know Lori's going to attempt to kill me."

"Attempt?"

"I mean, let's be honest, Lincoln. There's no way she'd ever be able to actually do it."

As Lynn fought on, she suddenly noticed Rick in the corner of her eye and glanced towards him. "What was he doing here?" She thought to herself.

"LYNN! LOOK OUT!" Lincoln shouted.

Lynn turned back around to see the Death Stalker swinging his sword arm towards her. Thinking quick, Lynn jumped backwards in an attempt to dodge it.

Unfortunately for Lynn, she wasn't quite fast enough as the tip of his sword had managed to just reach her right eye.

For Lincoln, it was as if time had frozen for a moment before Lynn's bloodcurdling scream ran out throughout the whole Death Stalker campsite. It was certainly a sound he wouldn't be forgetting any time soon as he simply stared at Lynn in horror.

"Oh God! Oh fuck! SHIT! FUCK!" Rick panicked as he grasped at his hair, equally as horrified as Lincoln was.

Seemingly realising the state Lynn was in, her arm took full control again, grabbing and twisting the man's sword arm off before using it to slice off his head. After that, Lynn finally went unconscious from the pain.

...

When Lynn finally regained consciousness, she found herself unable to open her right eye. She could only feel a numb pain from where it once was. She opened her left eye to see that she was in some kind of tent. She then soon realised that she had an eye gauze patch over her right eye and was lying on a piece of fabric. After letting out a groan, she then saw a concerned Lincoln, looking down at her. "Lynn! Are you okay?!"

She then saw Rick enter her vision with a nervous smile on his face. "Lynn! Oh thank God! Ok, I know things are looking kinda bad-uh, no pun intended, but y-you don't have to worry about a thing! I can give you a new eye, Lynn! It'll-It'll be even better than the one you had. We'll go home after we figure out what the deal is with your arm, I'll get you that eye and w-w-we can forget this all ever happened."

Lynn then jolted upwards. There was a look of fear in her eye as she scrambled away from Rick, trying to create as much distance from him as possible. "Stay back! Don't come any closer!"

Upon seeing seeing Lynn's reaction, Rick couldn't help himself from looking distraught. "God, I know, I know. I fucked up! I'm a fucking piece of shit that fucked up. But I swear everything'll be-"

Lynn pointed an accusatory finger towards Rick. "You're bad luck!"

Rick's look of distraught turned into one of confusion. "Uh...what?"

"You heard me!" Lynn snapped, starting to get frantic. "I never lost game night until you got involved and I was doing fine in that fight until you showed up! I'D STILL HAVE MY EYE IF IT WASN'T FOR YOUR BAD LUCK!"

Rick stared at her with a mix of bewilderment and disbelief. He then pinched the bridge of his nose in annoyance. "Lynn, there's no such thing as luck. The only reason people believe in it is because they want to justify unfortunate things happening in their lives when really, it's just happenstance." He narrowed his eyes at her. "Or they do it because they don't want to acknowledge their own shortcomings because it's easier to just blame bad luck."

Lynn gave Rick an intense stare, one that actually made him flinch. "Are you calling me a loser?"

"I mean...haven't you ever heard the phrase 'luck is for losers'?

"SHUT UP!" Lynn barked before getting up and running out of the tent.

"Lynn!" Lincoln called out after her.

"Where the fuck are you going?" Rick shouted.

After running outside, she paused upon seeing an armoured man with two horns coming out of his helmet. Her arm then pointed towards him. "What?" The man asked before narrowing his eyes at Lynn's arm. "Wait a minute..." His eyes then widened in fear. "It can't be. It can't be!" He then started to run away as Lynn's arm forced her to chase after him. "I was just following orders! I was just following orders!" The man pleaded as he kept running. "I'll tell you where my boss lives! He's in the castle! He's in the castle!" Lynn managed to catch up to him and punched him down before grabbing a torch and throwing it onto him. As Lynn watched him burn to death, she suddenly found herself going dizzy before passing out again.

...

In Lynn's dream, she saw Armothy's (which was apparently his actual name) memories from his perspective as he was chopping some wood in his quaint, peaceful village. He then stopped upon hearing a woman scream before looking up to find houses burning and men riding in on horses, firing arrows at the villagers.

She then saw Armothy's final moments as he laid on the ground, with the entire village engulfed in flames. The man that she had just killed then approached him with a sadistic smile on his face. "What's the matter, you piece of crap? Haven't you ever watched your family burn to death before?" The man got out a whip. "Now I'm gonna whip you. Ha!"

...

When Lynn next awoke, it was the middle of the night as she spotted Lincoln and Rick nearby, sleeping on some rags. She glared at Rick before getting up and going outside. She then looked at her arm. "If I help you get revenge against the people that burned down your village, does that mean you're gonna go away?" Her hand made what looked like a nodding motion. She sighed, wishing that Lucy was here since she'd know more about this stuff than her. Lynn decided this was for the best. After what just happened to her, she wasn't exactly eager to have another death match any time soon. Or ever again. Even if a part of her felt like things would've been fine were it not for Rick, she couldn't take a risk like that again.

...

After asking for some directions, the castle wasn't too far away from the campsite as Lynn soon found herself scaling it. After making it to the top, she was noticed by two soldiers wielding swords who charged towards her. Lynn knocked the sword out of one of the soldiers hands and flip-kicked his head, causing him to fall over. She then grabbed the other soldier's sword and used it to stab the first soldier before throwing the second soldier off the castle.

The slaveowner that ordered the death of Armothy's village was currently sitting in a bathtub, being washed by two blonde boys. The scrawny, blonde man sneered at them. "Graze my genitals again, taint washer, and you'll be shipped to the wasteland. And as for you, genital washer-"

He was then interrupted by Lynn bursting through the window. The two boys ran away as two soldiers charged at Lynn before she grabbed one of their swords and quickly sliced both of their heads off. Lynn then approached the slaveowner as Armothy cracked his knuckles. The slaveowner cowered in fear. "Oh, God. Look, whoever you are, you should know that killing me won't change a thing." Lynn said nothing, simply glaring at the man. "Please. Slavery was a family business. I didn't ask to be born into it. If anything, I'm the victim here!"

Armothy had had enough listening to the man as he grabbed his throat and dunked his head underwater, both choking him and drowning him. Lynn couldn't help but feel extremely uncomfortable as she watched him slowly die. Eventually, the slaveowner stopped squirming as he closed his eyes, appearing to be dead. Lynn then go of the man as her arm then reverted back to its normal state.

Suddenly, a portal appeared in the room as Rick stepped out of it. "Jesus, Lynn, there you are."

Lynn gave Rick a surprised look. "Rick? How did you know where I was?"

"Uh, there aren't exactly many castles around on this version of Earth, you know."

Lynn frowned. "Yeah, well, stay away from me! Your bad luck has caused enough problems."

Rick groaned in annoyance. "You're still harping on about luck? I already told you Lynn, it's not real. It's just your imagination." And your massive ego Rick thought but didn't say out loud.

After he said that, the slaveowner then started gasping for air, not quite dead yet. Rick glanced between him and Lynn before getting out his laser gun and firing at the slaveowner's head. "That was just a coincidence." He got out his portal gun and fired another portal. Now come on, let's wrap this up." Lynn begrudgingly followed after him.

...

The next morning, Rick held the glowing green rock and placed a lightbulb on top of it, causing it to light up. He was currently showing this off to Hemorrhage and the rest of the Death Stalkers. "You see this? This is a really special thing. I mean, you could use it to power all your vehicles. You wouldn't be reliant on gasoline. You'll be the most advanced tribe of radioactive cannibals in the whole-this version of the world." He handed the rock back to Hemorrhage before turning to Lincoln. "Happy now, Lincoln? At least we achieved something while we were here." Lincoln gave a satisfied nod before going over to Lynn.

"Wait. Can you stay to show us more?" Hemorrhage asked.

"Uh, my granddaughter's currently missing an eye. You're gonna have to figure that out by yourselves." Rick answered curtly.

Lincoln walked over to Lynn, who appeared to be deep in thought. "Are you okay, Lynn?"

Lynn was thinking about everything that happened over the past couple days. A part of her couldn't help but be ashamed and disgusted at herself. Both for how she acted after losing that board game and what she did in the Blood Dome.

And yet another part of her told her that none of this was her fault. That it was Rick's fault. She wouldn't have lost that board game if it weren't for Rick. She wouldn't have gone on this adventure if it weren't for Rick. She wouldn't have lost her eye if it weren't for Rick. The Galactic Federation wouldn't have taken over the Earth if it weren't for Rick. Birdperson's wedding wouldn't have ended in disaster if it weren't for Rick. She and her family wouldn't have had to move to a different universe it it weren't for Rick. Everything bad that happened to her and her family over the past year wouldn't have happened if it weren't for Rick. Everywhere Rick went, bad luck followed.

Lynn realised that she needed to get away from Rick. No matter what.

Rick approached the two before firing a portal. "Alright, kids, let's-hey!" Lynn then suddenly snatched Rick's portal gun before shoving him and Lincoln through the portal.

Both of them fell out of the portal and onto the floor of Rick's garage. Rick turned around to see the portal closing behind them. "Lynn! No!" He got up and quickly tried to go back. He was, unfortunately, too late as the portal closed before he could go through it. "Shit! Shit!" He then scrambled to find one of his spare portal guns. After finding one, he quickly put in the coordinates before firing a portal as he and Lincoln ran through it, arriving back at the Death Stalkers' campsite. Lynn was no where in sight. "Did anyone see where Lynn went!" Rick shouted out to all the Death Stalkers.

"I saw her go through one of those green swirly things." One of the Death Stalkers answered.

Both Rick and Lincoln slumped upon hearing that. Seeing that Lynn wasn't here any more, Rick fired another portal before he and Lincoln stepped back into the garage. "Rick, what are we gonna do?" Lincoln asked, trying not to panic.

Rick was silent for a moment before he spoke. "Ok. Let's look at this rationally for a moment. Lynn has my portal gun. She can go anywhere in the universe. If she finds herself in danger, she can just teleport herself out of there. She also knows all the places in the universe where she can charge it so as long as she's smart, she won't ever get stuck. She also knows how to get home and she can come home any time."

"So you're saying we should just leave her out there until she decides to come home?" Lincoln asked.

"Course not Lincoln! I'm gonna try and find her. You just need to realise that she could literally be anywhere in the universe. It's not exactly gonna be a walk in the park finding her. And unfortunately, Lisa's tracking chips don't go much farther than a planet. Let alone other dimensions. But don't worry. I also have a few other back up plans." One of them being find an alternate version of Lynn and brainwash her into thinking she's a part of this family. He didn't tell Lincoln this though. And hopefully, it wouldn't come to that. "Your sister's clearly going through something so maybe all she needs is some time to think about things before coming back."

"Should we tell everyone else about this?"

"Hell no! You can't seriously expect all of them to act rationally about this, do you? Don't worry, I have a plan."

...

Rita stared at Rick in disbelief after she and all the other siblings listened to Rick's story. "An intergalactic softball tournament?"

Rick nodded. "Yep. Real prestigious. They really saw something in Lynn. I-I would of asked you guys about it but, uh, it doesn't exactly work like on Earth. It was kind of a now or never kinda deal and Lynn was real insistent on going. She-She wouldn't take no for an answer."

Rita rubbed her temples as she tried to process all of this. "So how long will Lynn be gone then?"

Rick shrugged. "Dunno. Could be days. Weeks. Months. It kinda just depends on how things go."

"Don't we at least get to visit her or call her?"

"Oh, no, no, these guys, they're real strict about this kinda stuff, they don't want any kind of interference. Like I said, things work differently out there. You're not gonna be able to see her until it's over."

Rita sighed. "I really don't approve of this. Is there really nothing that can be done about this?"

Rick shook his head. "Sorry but there's nothing we can do now. There's no getting out once you're in. But hey, look at the bright side! Your daughter could become an intergalactic sports star! She'd be set for life!"

Rita and the siblings all had mixed expressions on their faces, unsure how to feel about something like this happening. Lori in particular was casting Rick a suspicious glare. None of them knew what else to ask so the subject was then dropped. As everyone went back to what they were doing before, all Lincoln could think about was wondering what was going on in Lynn's head right now.


	28. Vindicators 3: Deal Me Out

For the next couple of days, Rick and Lincoln went on adventures by themselves in an effort to try and find Lynn. The first idea they had was to go to the places where Lynn could charge the portal gun and leave traps there for her. Unfortunately, there were a lot of places in the universe where Lynn could charge the portal gun and they couldn’t leave traps at all of them since some of them were in public places. The only other thing Rick could do was cause the portal gun to self destruct but that would probably not be very helpful for Lynn if she was in danger. Lincoln had wondered why Rick didn’t just have a tracking device on the gun. After arguing that that was the kind of thing the Federation did, Rick claimed that he didn’t think that he’d ever need to do that since he could make the portal guns self destruct and he didn’t think any of them were stupid enough to try something like this. With few other options, the two simply wondered aimlessly, hoping Lynn might have found somewhere to stick around for a while.

Of course, Lincoln couldn’t just spend all his time worrying about Lynn since not only would it make people around him suspicious but like Rick said, she could just come back herself at some point. He didn’t need to stress himself over her that much. Well, at least Rick thought so. Tomorrow, he’d be taking a break as there was going to be an Ace Savvy convention. One of the most sacred Clincoln McCloud traditions. Speaking of Clyde, Lincoln heard someone knocking on the door. He opened it to see Clyde, dressed in his One-Eyed Jack outfit that he had made himself. “What do you think?” He asked. “You ready for the convention tomorrow?”

Lincoln nodded. “Definitely.” He then smirked at Clyde. “Wait ‘till you see my costume.” He then gestured for Clyde to follow him as the two went into the garage where Rick was working on a device (which Lincoln noted looked almost like an eyeball). “Grandpa Rick, I need to borrow my Ace Savvy outfit. It’s for the convention.”

Rick gave Lincoln an annoyed look before sighing and pressing a button on the wall, causing a wardrobe to come out next to it. It opened up, revealing outfits for all of the Full House Gang. Clyde stared at the outfits in awe. “Whoa...”

After putting his Ace Savvy outfit on, he turned to Clyde. “What do you think?”

Clyde scratched the back of his head. “Uh, it’s cool and all but shouldn’t you have made your costume...your...self...” Clyde’s eyes widened as he realised Lincoln was now floating slightly off the ground. “You have superpowers now?!”

“Pretty cool, right? Lincoln asked. “Grandpa Rick made them to give us the same powers that we had in my comic.”

“Dang! But then how come I don’t see you guys use it?” Clyde asked “You guys could be real superheroes!”

Lincoln rolled his eyes. “Rick doesn’t really like us using it. He says it would ‘take the fun out of adventures’.” He then whispered to Clyde. “He also hates superhero stuff.”

“Don’t know why you’re whispering, Lincoln.” Rick then said. “I’ve been pretty vocal about how much I don’t like capeshit.”

Suddenly, a purple crystal on the shelf started to glow, emitting an otherworldly noise. Lincoln looked over at it. “It’s the Vindibeacon! We're being called to assemble by the Vindicators!”

“The Vindicators?” Clyde asked.

“They’re this awesome superhero team that go around the galaxy, stopping evil!” Lincoln explained.

“Wait, superheroes are real?!”

“Yeah. Me, my sisters and Grandpa Rick went on an adventure with them to stop and evil alien warlord. It was awesome!”

Clyde gaped in shock. “You went on adventure with actual superheroes and you never told me?!”

Lincoln had a guilty look on his face. “Yeah, sorry Clyde. I didn’t want to make you jealous since you missed out on it. But this time, you can come with me and Rick.”

“Uh, Lincoln, I refuse to answer a literal call to adventure.” Rick then said.

Lincoln sighed in annoyance. “Come on, Rick, he Vindicators only call when the universe itself is at stake! They might seriously need our help.”

“Oh, they seriously need help all right. They're a bunch of drama queens that spend an hour talking and twenty minutes jumping around while shit blows up. They're a phase. We did one, it was the big event of the summer. Let it die.“

Lincoln frowned at Rick. He really hated it whenever Rick got this preachy about things he didn’t like. “Clyde, I need to speak to Rick alone for a minute.”

“Uh, sure.” Clyde said awkwardly as he left the garage.

After he left, Lincoln said. “Rick, what if the Vindicators could help us find Lynn?”

Rick turned around. “You seriously think those posers would go out of their way to help us with Lynn?”

“Why not?” Lincoln argued. “If we help them with whatever’s happening now, they could help us out with finding Lynn. Besides, it’s not as if we have any other idea right now. Why not just try this?”

Rick groaned for a couple seconds before saying. “Fine! But don't say I didn't warn you.”

Lincoln smiled before picking up the Vindibeacon. “Vindicator command ship, beacon received!”

...

On the Vindicator command ship, Rick, Lincoln and Clyde were sat around a round table in a briefing room with four members of the Vindicators. Coming from the table was a hologram of a giant, evil looking, one-eyed alien. “Vindicators, Worldender is back...” Started Supernova, a purple, cosmic being with long flowing hair and an outfit that resembled a galaxy with floating miniature planets surrounding her. “And this time, he's out to end more than worlds.”

“Oh boy, another generic, doomsday villain.” Rick snarked, sitting in a relaxed position, just so everyone knew he wasn’t taking this seriously. “Let me guess, he wants to destroy the universe to create a new one. Definitely never been done before.”

“Rick!” Lincoln chastised.

Supernova gave Rick an annoyed look before continuing. “We have reason to believe his stronghold is located on the Terraneus system.” The hologram then changed, showing a galaxy full of planets. Supernova pointed towards a red one. “Once in range, Million Ants will scan for pheromone activity, which should lead us to the location of the base.”

Rick looked over at Million Ants, who was literally a colony of red ants who had collected themselves into taking a humanoid shape. He was coloured red and had a hollow looking set of eyes and mouth. “Oh, that's Million Ants. I can't see the ants over here. I just assumed that was, uh, Turd Man. Wiggly Turd Man.”

“Rick, please stop it.” Lincoln pleaded.

“Rick, you have something to add to the briefing?” Supernova asked.

“Uh, yeah, just a few more design notes.” Rick pointed a thumb towards the Vindicator next to him. A part crocodile and part robot cyborg. His chest area was machinery and his skin was a brownish green. His left eye consisted of a couple of cameras and the only organic parts that he still had on his body were his head, tail, left arm, and right foot. “Um, this guy.” Rick chuckled. “The, uh...”

“I am Crocubot.” Crocubot said in a robotic voice.

“Right, Crocubot.” Rick laughed. “So, you're half-cold, unfeeling reptile, half-also cold, equally-unfeeling machine.”

“Yes.”

“So, you're origin is what? Y-You fell into a vat of redundancy?”

Clyde raised an eyebrow. “You don’t think a cyborg crocodile is cool?”

Rick rolled his eyes. “Come on, Clyde, I-I-I mean this guy looks like someone just read the idiot’s guide to cyber-organisms. Who’s his creator? Dr. Fartenstein?”

“My creator was-“ Crocubot started before getting interrupted by Rick.

“You know what? I don’t want to know. I don’t need to put a name or a face to such shoddy workmanship. Don’t get me wrong. I-I-I’m sort of curious, you know? To see what other bad ideas that guy put together. Like a robot rock, or I don’t know, a wooden fireplace.” Rick laughed as Crocubot started to look down in shame.

“Got dang!” Snickered a small alien, wearing a pink mask with a purple cape. He had pink skin and his eyes were arranged diagonally from each other. He was currently sweeping the floor.

“Noob-Noob, we're having a briefing!” Supernova chastised before turning to Rick. “If I can continue, Rick. I anticipate sophisticated security measures. I trust you can be of service there.”

“Well considering I have the ability to do literally anything I want, whenever I want, yeah, that sounds like a job for me.” Rick replied.

“I wish he had the ability to check his attitude.” Sneered a large, muscular, dark skinned man who wore an old-fashioned train conductor's cap with matching overalls, gloves, and a dirty, sleeveless greatcoat. He also had a glowing green chain and train whistle around his neck.

“Alan Rails, ladies and gentleman.” Rick started. “After his parents' tragic death in a railroad accident, he gained the power to summon ghost trains. It's not all bad, though. They were spared having to see their grown son wear a whistle!”

“Got damn!” Noob-Noob exclaimed again.

Rick turned to him. “Thanks, Noob-Noob! This guy gets it.”

The door then opened as a caucasian, human male with auburn hair and beard stubble flew in with his jetpack, carrying a martini glass. He wore a blue battle suit with built-in weapons, over which he wore a vest that had the Vindicators logo on it. He landed next to an empty seat next to Clyde as he drank from his glass. Lincoln stared at him in amazement. “Vance Maximus, Renegade Star Soldier!”

Vance then tossed the glass behind him before zapping it out of existence with his laser arm cannon. “Sorry I'm late. It was happy hour.” He joked, getting a laugh out of everyone except for Rick.

Rick raised his hand. “Uh, I was also late because of my drinking and mentioned it to zero applause.”

Vance sat down next to Clyde, giving him, Lincoln and Rick a pleasant smile. “Rick Sanchez, Tinkerer of Terror. Man, that's hard to say. And...Ace Savvy, right? Where’s the rest of the Full House Gang?”

“They were busy today.” Lincoln replied. In truth, Lincoln had decided not to bring them in case they ended up finding out about the Lynn situation. “But we should be fine without them right?”

“Well, I think we’ll manage.” Vance then turned to Clyde, who was staring at Vance in awe. “And who might you be?”

“Oh! Uh, I-I’m One-Eyed Jack! I’m Ace Savvy’s sidekick.” Clyde responded nervously.

Vance chuckled. “Ain’t that cute. Well, welcome to the team.” He then turned to the others. “What do you say, Vindicators? Let's make this three for three?”

Everyone besides Rick, Lincoln and Clyde started to cheer. “Three for three?” Lincoln asked. “Don’t you guys mean two for two?”

The Vindicators all exchanged looks with one another before Supernova spoke. “Actually, we assembled a second time to fight Doomnomitron.”

A look of hurt appeared on Lincoln’s face. “So...you assembled without us?”

There was a moment of awkward silence before Million Ants spoke. “I sense... insecurity.”

“Are you sure there's not just a picnic nearby.” Vance joked, getting another laugh out of everyone except for Rick, Lincoln and Clyde.

“I guess he found his crowd.” Rick snarked. “Pretty toothless stuff, guys.”

Lincoln frowned at Rick, now starting to get sick of his attitude. “Could you just stop? Why are you so against this stuff?”

“It’s called event fatigue, Lincoln.” Rick responded. “Everyone’s tired of crossovers and forced team-ups and ‘interconnected’ shared universes! It’s not about adventure! It’s not about story! It’s just one big cash-grab. Besides, the interconnected universe stuff is dumb. Am I really expected to believe that whenever a supervillain pops up, only one or a select group of heroes ever notices them?”

Meanwhile, Clyde was staring at the hologram of the galaxy as he had noticed an odd glowing white planet that appeared to be cracked in half. “Whoa, what kinda planet is that?” He asked, pointing towards it.

Rick looked over and rolled his eyes at one of the few planets that he wanted nothing to do with. It was a planet that even the Galactic Federation wanted nothing to do with. “That’s just some planet full of gem people. I wouldn’t think too hard about them, Clyde. They’re not that interesting. Nothing but a-a bunch of stiffs there.”

...

Later on that night, Lincoln and Clyde were in a bedroom that the three were staying in while Rick was in the bathroom, brushing his teeth. Lincoln and Clyde were wearing their pyjamas while Rick was wearing a blue bathrobe. While Lincoln was frowning at something on his tablet, Clyde was sat up, bouncing on his bed in excitement. “I can’t believe we’re actually gonna work with superheroes tomorrow! This is way too exciting! I don’t think I can sleep tonight!”

“Maybe you should take a walk to get rid of all that excess energy?” Lincoln offered.

Clyde nodded. “Yeah, good idea.” He jumped off his bed and then left the room.

Rick spat into the sink before coming into the bedroom. “I hope you're happy with the adventure so far, Lincoln. These guys are even lamer than last time.”

“We weren't here ‘last time’, remember? They did a whole adventure without us.” A sad look appeared on Lincoln’s face. “A bunch of them got killed, too. They lost Lady Katana, Calypso, Diablo Verde...”

Rick scratched the back of his head. “Yikes. Yeah, things did feel less diverse in there.” He then went back into the bathroom to continue brushing.

“This article says the reason we weren't involved was...’personality conflicts’.”

“Don't worry, Lincoln, they love you.” Rick assured him. “Superheroes need a wide-eyed kid to tag along and react to everything like it's mind-blowing.”

“I... think the personality conflict might have been...you.”

Rick spat into the sink before looking at himself in the mirror. “Jesus...” He then grinned. “How awesome is that?” He entered the bedroom again. “I mean, they wanted to not need me so bad, they murdered three innocent heroes of colour, and they still had to bring me back?”

Lincoln huffed. “Can you please just stop with the comments? How are we supposed to convince them to help us find Lynn if you keep insulting them?”

“Look, Lincoln, I’m not even sure they’d even be much help anyway. I defeat gagoos more powerful than these guys every week.”

“But these guys are actually heroes. They could-“ Lincoln argued before being interrupted by Rick.

“Oh, please. They just call themselves heroes so they can-“ Rick started before he was then also interrupted by Lincoln.

“I’m calling them that, Rick! They're my heroes!” Lincoln snapped. “Seriously, I don’t care what you think of them or superheroes in general. If you’re not gonna help me convince these guys to help us find Lynn then you might as well go home!”

Rick glared at Lincoln for a moment before he stormed out the room. “Huh...no accounting for taste.”

...

Clyde walked through the hallways of the Vindicator command ship, gazing at the hi-tech technology in amazement before turning a corner and accidentally bumping into Crocubot. “Oh! Sorry, Crocubot. I guess you can’t sleep either, huh?”

“I do not sleep.” Crocubot responded.

“Oh.” There was a moment of awkward silence before Clyde asked. “So, what’s it like working with the Vindicators?”

Crocubot was silent for a moment before responding. “It is fine.”

This response caught Clyde off guard. “Really? Don’t you have any cool stories about how you guys met or about how you bonded with each other and became a team?”

“No.” Crocubot responded. “To be honest with you, One-Eyed Jack, I barely know these guys. I am only working with them as I am incapable of working as a superhero alone.”

“Really? But you’re a cyborg crocodile! I bet you’d do fine by yourself.”

“I have been told that I am incapable of working alone.” Crocubot argued. “That someone like me could only work as part of a team. It is as Rick Sanchez said. This body is...flawed.”

Clyde scratched the back of his head, looking sorry that he asked in the first place. “Well, that sucks.”

Crocubot then decided to ask. “Is there any significance to the time you and Ace Savvy met?”

Clyde blinked in surprise before answering. “Yeah, I guess you could say that.”

...

Years ago, on Halloween, a five year old Lincoln, dressed in an Ace Savvy costume, was running down the street, chasing after his sister, Lynn. “Lynn! Wait up! Mom said you have to stay with me.”

As Lynn was running, walking along the opposite direction was Clyde, dressed in an One-Eyed Jack costume. Lynn hurdled over Clyde before Lincoln bumped into him, causing both of them to yelp and fall over. Clyde sat up and put a hand to his nose as it had started to bleed. Lincoln got up and then helped Clyde up. “Oh jeez, I'm sorry." He then offered Clyde his cape. “Here. use my cape. Ace Savvy is always ready to lend a hand.”

Clyde smiled as he took the cape to block his nose. “Thanks," The two then shook hands. “I'm Clyde, what's your name?"

...

Upon finishing his story, Clyde had started to tear up. “Dang it. That story gets me every time."

Despite his cold-blooded nature, even Crocubot felt slightly touched by the story. “I see. You were able to bond over your common interests.”

Clyde sniffed. “Yeah. Ace Savvy’s what brought us together in the first place. But what about you? Don’t you and the Vindicators have any common interests?”

Crocubot was silent for a moment as it almost seemed like a frown appeared on his face before he responded. “No.” He then walked away, leaving behind a confused Clyde.

...

Rick knocked on the door to Vance’s room. The door opened up, revealing Vance wearing a bathrobe and holding a margarita glass. An annoyed look appeared on his face. “What do you want, Rick?”

Swallowing his immediate snarky response, a strained look appeared on Rick’s face as he spoke to Vance. “Look, about earlier, I’m...rrrsorry.” He tried to relax himself. “Things have been rough at home lately and I need your help. It’s my granddaughter, Lynn. She stole one of my portal guns and I have no idea where she is right now. I was hoping that since I’m helping you take down Worldender, you could maybe help me find my granddaughter. What do you say?”

Vance was silent for a moment before he started chuckling, immediately angering Rick. “What the fuck are you laughing at?”

Vance stopped laughing. “You can’t be serious. Look, we’re a superhero team. Do you have any idea about what goes on out there? We can’t waste our time trying to find just one little girl. There’s planets out there that need us.”

“Ok, then I’ll sweeten the deal. I’ll take out Worldender by myself along with any other supervillains out there if you’ll help me find my granddaughter.”

Vance rolled his eyes. “Rick, this is ridiculous. We’re here to take out threats against the universe. We’re not a charity case.”

Rick glared at Vance. “Yeah, well, where were you when the Galactic Federation were taking over all those planets, huh?”

“The Galactic Federation weren’t supervillains, Rick, they were simply a...political movement.”

“Political movement? They were a literal dictatorship! They eradicated anyone that didn’t bend their knee to them!”

Vance shrugged. “Well, that’s just your political opinion. And none of this changes the fact that we can’t just waste time searching for some little girl because of your neglectfulness.”

“This isn’t just some little girl though! It’s the Strong Suit, remember? She helped you guys out that one time, don’t you at least owe her one?”

“I’ve heard enough, Rick. I’ve already told you my answer and it’s no.” The door them slammed in Rick’s face.

Rick was now seething in pure anger. He put away both his pride and his principles to try and please his grandkids, only for it to be spat in his face again. Just like when he decided to try and make his adventures safer, only for Lynn to spit in his face. He really didn’t know why he even bothered. It’s not as if he wasn’t the smartest man in the universe. He knew the Vindicators were nothing more than a bunch of smug assholes so why was he entertaining Lincoln’s stupid idea? He groaned. He seriously needed a drink right now.

...

The next morning, Lincoln and Clyde were awoken by the sound of the PA system. “Good morning, Vindicators. Ship has arrived at the Terraneus system. All Vindicators report to the... briefing room. The-The room from the, uh... the... Uh, it's the d-It's a different room than-than... the conference room. I'm sorry, it's my first day as a PA system. First day jitters.”

After both of them got ready, they entered the briefing room, only for both of them to cringe in disgust as they saw Rick sleeping on the floor with his pants down and his butt in the air while the rest of the room was a mess. The Vindicators were also there, staring at Rick in disgust. “Oh no...” Lincoln groaned.

“Ok, that’s just gross!” Clyde exclaimed, covering his eyes.

“Good morning.” Supernova greeted them, barely hiding her irritation. “Looks like your grandpa had a long night. Crocubot, why don't you escort Mr. Sanchez out of here so we can...” She sighed. “Clean up his mess.” Crocobot nodded and went over to pick up Rick.

Noob-Noob then walked into the room, carrying some firearms and ammunition. “Whoa, I'm nervous about my first mission.”

“Actually, Noob-Noob, you have a new mission.” Supernova stated as she made his guns disappear before conjuring up a broom in Noob-Noob’s hands.

Noob-Noob looked down in disappointment. “Got...damn.”

“Vindicators, prepare for arrival.” Supernova ordered. The rest of the Vindicators dispersed from the room, leaving only Lincoln, Clyde and Vance.

Vance approached Lincoln and Clyde. “Ace Savvy, One-Eyed Jack, the Vindicators and I had a chat this morning and I'm afraid we need to make a little change.”

Lincoln started to panic. “W-Wait! We’re sorry about Rick. W-We’ll make it up to you on the mission!”

“You should be sorry.” Vance said as he opened up a locker and took out two blue Vindicator vests before tossing them to Lincoln and Clyde. “Dressing like you two aren’t with us. Disgraceful.”

Clyde gasped in amazement as he put the vest on while Lincoln stared at the vest in surprise. “Wait, you’re saying...we’re officially part of the group?”

Clyde could barely contain his excitement. “I can’t believe we’re actually superheroes!”

Vance put his arms around the two and guided them to a seat next to the window. “Cop a squat, boys. Everyone in the universe is a hero. All you have to do is know the difference between good and bad, and root for good.”

Lincoln frowned. “Rick says ‘good’ and ‘bad’ are artificial constructs.”

This was news to Clyde as he gave Lincoln a shocked look. “Wait, what?”

“Yeah, well, I get the feeling...” Vance looked over to Noob-Noob, still cleaning up Rick’s mess. “He kind of needs that to be the case. Not coming, Noob-Noob?“

Noob-Noob slipped over upon Vance distracting him. “Ohh! No, uh, I...I got stuff to do here.”

Lincoln smiled. Admittedly, a part of him always wanted to know what it’d be like to be a superhero. He ignored the small voice in his head, asking him how the vest was considered a uniform if only one of the Vindicators wore it.

...

Upon entering the planet’s surface, the Vindicators all hopped out of their ship and flew down towards the red planet, landing at the entrance to Worldender’s hideout. Due to being unable to fly, Clyde rode down on Million Ants while Rick was still being carried by Crocobot. “Security drones, inbound.” Vance stated as various drones advanced towards the team.

Supernova flew upwards as the miniature planets flew around her. “Star Mother, grant me your wrath!” She then created a triangular portal, from which shooting stars emerged and eliminated the drones.

The team ran towards the entrance, only to find it that it had no door. “All aboard!” Alan shouted before blowing his whistle. This summoned a ghost train that plowed a hole through the mountain, creating an entrance.

Upon entering, Clyde looked around nervously as the hallways seem to be littered with bones. “This place looks really messed up.”

Lincoln gave Clyde a reassuring smile. “Don’t worry, Clyde, we’ve got this.

The team eventually came across a wall of dripping lava. Million Ants then altered his form to pass through it before disabling the machine that made the lava. The team then continued moving with Million Ants at the front. He then turned a corner. “Aah!” He was then hit by bullets coming from two automatic turrets, leaving holes in his form before going back for cover. “Gun turrets.”

“Are you alright?” Supernova asked.

“Yes. I only lost 400 ants. My queen is laying more.” Million Ants explained as the holes soon filled up with more ants. “I am back to one million ants.”

Supernova turned to the others. “Someone wake up Sanchez.”

Crocubot then laid Rick on the floor before Vance sprayed a puff of blue gas from a finger gun on him, waking him up. “Ugh! Oh, Christ...” Rick groaned as he got up, massaging his forehead and his back, his eyes bloodshot.

“Rick, you're up.” Supernova said.

“Barely.”

“Rick, we're taking fire from an automated turret. Can you bring it offline?”

“Uh-huh.” Rick then took out a thermos-like container and opened it. He then poured some red chemical into a small container, causing it to generate a small, plump alien creature. He lifted it over his eyeballs and squirted red liquid from it like an dropper into them, causing him to fully wake up. “Uh, my God, that's better.”

“RICK!” Supernova snapped.

“Hey, I can't help if I can't see.” Rick then took out a small roving device that went out to face the turrets. The bullets went through a gooey, mercury-like disc at the top of it before the goo is pulled into the device. Out then came thin silver discs that morphed into small robots, who climb onto the turrets and plug the barrels. Rick then jumped out and struck a pose. The plugged turrets fired until they exploded.

“I could've just used a ghost train.” Alan remarked.

“Really? You don't say. You would have used a ghost train?” Rick said sarcastically. “Hey, everybody, the ghost train guy would have used a ghost train!”

Alan glared at Rick as everyone started to press forward. “Man, fuck you.”

“Is there coffee?” Rick asked before walking alongside Lincoln. “Hey, Lincoln, can you be a pal? Grandpa left his coffee maker on the ship. Y-You know, the French press thing?”

“Get it yourself.” Lincoln said in annoyance as he walked away from Rick.

As the group made their way to Worldender’s lair, Rick remarked to Lincoln. “Little extra snippy this morning, aren’t you?”

“What did you expect?” Lincoln snapped. “Are you trying to make sure the Vindicators don’t help us out?”

“Yeah, well...what if I told you I already asked them to help find Lynn and they said no?”

Lincoln gave Rick a surprised look. “Huh?”

“Yeah, it’s true. I asked Vance last night and I believe he said that they didn’t have time to look for ‘some little girl’. Really, uh...cool hero you got there, huh? Also, for the record, that jacket really doesn’t go well with your outfit. Just saying.”

Rick walked on while Lincoln had a mixed expression on his face. He then shook his head and decided to talk to the Vindicators about this after the mission was over.

The team soon entered Worldender’s lair, only to gasp in shock as someone or something had already massacred all of Worldender’s henchmen. “Son of a steam engine! They're all dead!” Alan gasped.

“Why would Worldender do this to his own men...and several women?” Crocubot asked.

“Well, he is the Worldender.” Vance pointed out. “The guy ends worlds. Kind of his thing.”

As Clyde walked forward, staring in shock, he then accidentally stepped on a part of the floor that triggered the appearance of a hook with a mortally-wounded Worldender hanging from it, just barely alive. “What the FUCK?!” Vance exclaimed in horror.

“It's Worldender!” Supernova stated. “What happened to him?”

Worldender let out a weak, pain-filled moan. “I sense his life force is fading.” Million Ants remarked.

“Million Ants, ladies and gentleman! The ant colony with the power of two human eyes!” Rick snarked. “So, we done here? I mean, since Vance said he wasn’t gonna do that favour for us, it seems like we’re done here.”

“What favour?” Crocubot asked.

“Why don’t you tell them, Vance?” Rick asked. “Tell everyone what you told me last night.”

Vance chuckled, nervously. “Rick, I think you may have misconstrued what I said last night.”

Clyde gave them a look of confusion before turning to Lincoln. “What are they talking about?”

Lincoln, however, was still distracted by whatever had happened here. “Guys, whoever did this is an even bigger threat than Worldender! We should do something about this.”

“He's right.” Supernova added. “This is far from over.”

Suddenly, a door blocked their way out and the windows in the lair all automatically shut themselves. Everyone readied the powers for battle while Rick searched for his portal gun, only for his eyes to widen as he realised that he had left it on the ship. “Shit!”

“I sense the presence of a greater evil.” Million Ants warned the team.

A giant monitor then lowered from the ceiling. To everyone’s surprise, a drunken Rick was on the screen. He was adjusting the camera before he stepped back. “Check, check, One, two. Ok, is it recording? Good. Hello, Vindicators. Welcome to your reckoning, babyyyyyyyy!!”

Everyone then stared at Rick. “Welp, it's official. I had too much to drink last night.”

The drunken Rick on the screen continued. “If you guys are watching this, you're, you know, the Vindicators. So now that we know...”

Vance pointed his arm cannons towards Rick. “Rick? What's going on, buddy?”

“Obviously, I came here last night during a blackout.” Rick said, looking slightly embarrassed.

“Obviously? You came here and defeated our arch-nemesis while so drunk, you don't remember doing it? That's something obvious to you?” Supernova asked in disbelief.

“Look, I'm a little more complex than you guys and, no offense, but I've always suspected that a lot of what you do in a year could be knocked out in a couple of hours.”

The drunk Rick onscreen was still talking. “So I thought, why not just do your job for you so we can have a little fun game.” A spotlight then shone on a game show board with crude drawings of the Vindicators on it with descriptive cards below them. There was also a countdown clock timed at three minutes above it.

Clyde was starting to panic, despite barely being able to follow what was happening. “What’s going on? Are we in danger?”

“If you break the rules, lose the game or try to leave, you will die. Like in Sawwww.” The drunk Rick slurred.

Clyde’s eyes widened in horror. “S-S-S-Saw?!” He gave Lincoln a pleading look. “Lincoln, I don’t even like watching horror films. I REALLY don’t want to be in one.”

Rick then spoke up. “Everyone, relax. Don’t panic. As long as you keep calm and do exactly as I say, we’ll be completely fine. I'm just gonna figure out how to unplug this.” He then ran somewhere behind the monitor.

“Ok, here we go, room number one.” The drunk Rick started. “The Vindicators are known throughout the galaxy, but do they know yourselves? Do you know yourselves? Match your...your shit, your...your gimmicks with your faces and y-you get it, it's a matching thing. And do it in three minutes, or you'll all die.” Rick ran back to the others just as the timer started.

“Screw this. I'm not playing his game. I'm gonna find us a way out of here.” Vance stated.

Rick approached him. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. Hold on, Vance. He said you'd die if you tried to leave. That means there's booby traps.”

Vance pointed towards the monitor. “Why are you acting like that's not you?!”

“What part of ‘blackout’ don't you understand? I thought you drank?”

“Like cool drinking! Like sexy drinking, not this psycho trailer-park shit!”

Lincoln then approached Vance. “Vance, I know things look bad but it’s like Rick said, if we just listen to him, we should be fine.”

Vance turned towards Lincoln, glaring at him. “Oh, so you're the leader now because we gave you a jacket?! You're just some albino kid we do photo-ops with!” Lincoln stepped back, hurt by Vance’s comment. Vance then started hyperventilating. “Ok, this...this is triggering me. I need space. I-I need SPACE! FROM THIS!” Vance then flew up to the ceiling before tearing open a grate as he tried to enter the ventilation duct. Once he got halfway in, everyone then heard rapid-fire gunshots, electrical crackles, a chainsaw, and a slicing blade before Vance's lower half fell to the floor. One of his rocket boots suddenly turned on as his legs then went flying across the room until Crocubot destroyed them with his eye laser.

“Ugh...” Clyde then promptly fainted.

Alan then held up Rick by his throat, raising his fist at him. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn't crush your windpipe!”

“Because my epidermis is laced with a nanofiber defence mesh.” Rick stated as an electrical explosion came from Rick's throat, sending Alan flying back. “And because, like I said, I don't remember last night. Besides, fuck that guy. This wouldn’t have happened if he’d have said he’d help me find my granddaughter. Was that too much to fucking ask from a so-called hero?”

“I told you not to invite this mummified motherfucker back!” Alan barked at the other Vindicators.

“Alan, I'm not proud of what's happening here, but if you keep coming at me, there's gonna be another passenger on that ghost train.” Rick threatened.

“Guys, I figured it out.” Lincoln then said. Everyone looked over to see that he had randomly placed the cards beneath each of the pictures.

“Congrats! You did it!” Drunk Rick said as a door nearby opened up.

“There weren’t any wrong answers.” Lincoln explained, a bitter look on his face. “All of the descriptions fit because Rick thinks that none of you are anything special. Because Rick can’t stop talking about how much he hates superheroes.”

“Let's just get through this as quickly as possible.” Supernova said before glaring at Rick, Lincoln and Clyde. “Then, we'll deal with the three of you.”

Lincoln gave her an offended look. “The three of us? What did me and Clyde do?” Supernova ignored him as the Vindicators entered the other room. Lincoln glared towards Rick. “Well, I hope your proud of yourself, Rick.”

“Uh, I kind of am.” Rick responded. “I saved the goddamn universe.”

Lincoln growled in anger and frustration. “You know what? That’s it. You have officially crossed the line. From now on, I never want to hear about anything you have to say about superheroes, ever again!”

“What, am I not allowed to-“ Rick started before getting interrupted by Lincoln.

“No! You’re not! You need to get this through your head. I like superhero stuff. I like reading superhero comics and I like watching superhero movies. Nothing you say or do will ever change that. Especially since all you do is exaggerate the bad stuff and ignore anything positive about them. If my sisters teasing me about it won’t make me change my mind then nothing you do will either. So just drop it!”

Rick was taken aback by Lincoln’s rant for a moment before he glared at him. “I’m just saying, they’re not exactly high art.”

“Yeah, well, you know what else isn’t high art? Pirates of the Pancreas. What kind of stupid name for an attraction is that?”

This got a rise out of Rick. “Oh, fuck you, Lincoln, you’re only saying that to spite me!”

“What do pirates have to do with pancreases? Absolutely nothing. It’s a stupid idea and you know it!”

“Shut the fuck up! You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about!” Rick then stormed into the other room, not wanting to talk about this any more while Lincoln glared after him.

“Ergh...” Clyde groaned as he had finally regained consciousness.

Lincoln ran over to him. “Clyde! Are you okay?”

Clyde rubbed his eyes before giving Lincoln a concerned look. “Lincoln, does this kinda stuff happen to you all the time on Rick’s adventures?”

Lincoln seemed hesitant to answer. “Umm...kinda. Maybe not this bad but...”

Clyde was silent for a moment. “You know, I could always give Dr. Lopez a call for you if you want.”

Lincoln sighed. “Just, please don’t tell anyone about anything that happened here, ok?”

Clyde seemed apprehensive about agreeing to that. “If you say so, man.”

Clyde got up and followed Lincoln into the other room with the others. Inside that room was a metal platform. Another monitor with Rick on it came down. He was now wearing a deerstalker cap. “The Vindicators say their job is is to fight evil wherever it hides, but they don't... pick the location you'll... you'll never even hear them mention, because to fight darkness is to fight yourself.” A holographic map projection of the galaxy then appeared on the platform.

“Oh, I know this!” Crocubot stated. “Dorian 5! There's no other possible answer. My mechanical and reptilian logic are certain of it.”

Crocubot was about to step on the platform before Clyde suddenly grabbed his arm to stop him. “Um, maybe we should wait until we’re absolutely sure it’s the right answer. I really don’t wanna see anyone else get killed.”

“Why wouldn’t you guys ever mention Dorian 5?” Lincoln asked. There was an awkward silence before Lincoln then asked. “Did something happen there?”

Supernova turned away. “Nothing!”

“Nothing?!” Alan exclaimed. “We exterminated a planet!”

Lincoln stared at Alan in shock. “Wait, you did what?”

“Doomnomitron was hiding there!” Supernova argued. “He was a shapeshifter! Destroying Dorian 5 was the only way to kill him!”

“Come on, guys, we're all thinking it. Don't...don't make me say it.” Drunk Rick taunted.

Lincoln then sighed. “Wait, I know what it is.” He then walked towards the hologram.

“You know, I could have made a device to detect Doomnomitron from orbit like that.” Rick pointed out, snapping his fingers.

“I'm not the one that didn't want you back. Alan was!” Supernova claimed.

Alan stepped towards Supernova threateningly. “If you lay those deaths at my doorstep one more time...”

Million Ants then appeared between them, giving Alan a stern look. “Do not threaten her.”

Everyone then heard a ding sound. “Congrats! You did it!” Drunk Rick said as another door opened up.

Supernova looked towards Lincoln, who had selected a country on Earth as his answer. “What the hell is Is-ra-el?”

“It's something Rick starts talking about whenever he's really drunk.” Lincoln explained.

“W-What? In w-In w-w-what-In what way? Like, w-w-what's my point?” Rick asked.

Lincoln shrugged. “I don’t know. You just babble about defence budgets and the United Nations, and then you pass out!”

“So, to be clear, I sometimes reference the geopolitical complexities of the topic, which is not the same as going to an anti-semitic place.” Rick explained to the others.

“I have no stake in this.” Million Ants said.

“I don't either. I-I'm just saying, if anything, the drunk version of me is probably so supportive of Israel, he wants what's best for it and...”

Million Ants raised his arms. “Hey, man, I'm not touching this. You do you.”

As the group pressed on into the next room, Clyde walked alongside Crocubot, giving him a worried look. “You guys really blew up a whole planet just to stop this one guy?”

“It was not my choice.” Crocubot explained. “I had offered to hunt him down with my superior hunting skills. Unfortunately, I was outvoted on that one.”

“If you knew it was wrong, why didn’t you try and do something to stop them?”

Crocubot’s head tilted slightly downwards. “I suppose that is one of the drawbacks of being on a team.”

The group entered the next room to see another monitor with Rick on it, now wearing a Hawaiian t-shirt and holding a coconut drink. “Aloha...means hello and goodbye in Hawaii. But, uh, aloha means...has nothing to do with this room.” He coughed before massaging his head. “I'm so fucking drunk. Ugh, okay, here's the deal. I-I want to rest my eyes for a little bit. I'm-I'm not going to sleep. I just...just need to rest my eye, so let's make this one simple. Just try to hit some three-pointers.” A light then turned on to reveal a basketball hoop, as well as a neutrino bomb and a countdown clock set for five minutes. “Let's say...you have to hit...five three-pointers in...five minutes or, I don't know, the whole place-the whole planet will get blown up with a n-neutrino bomb. And try to make it a-a lesson about yourselves like, like how...selfish you a-are, or something. Also, Hawaii.”

Lincoln sighed before approaching the bomb. “You guys play ball. I'll try and disarm the neutrino bomb. There's a 40% chance it's a dud, but you guys should still stay back.”

Clyde went over to him, giving him a surprised look. “You know how to disarm bombs?!”

Lincoln shrugged. “You learn a lot when you hang out with Rick.”

“You say that like it’s a bad thing.” Rick said as he went over to help.

“Perhaps I could be of assistance.” Crocubot offered as he also went over to help them.

This left the other three Vindicators to try the challenge. Million Ants picked up the ball and threw it with Supernova levitating it towards the hoop. A ding was heard and a digital counter on the wall counted up one shot. “That's a three-pointer!” Drunk Rick said.

“Nice shot.” Alan complimented after catching the ball.

Million Ants shrugged. “Thank you.”

There was a deep frown on Alan’s face. “You two make quite a team.”

He tossed the ball towards Million Ants, who barely managed to catch it. “Gah!”

Supernova smiled. “We all do.”

“Yeah, I guess.” Alan said.

Million Ants threw the ball again with Supernova levitating it towards the hoop again, scoring another point. “That's a three-pointer!” Drunk Rick said again.

Alan caught the ball again. “But you guys have always had a...an unspoken bond.” There was a hint of jealousy in his voice. He threw the ball towards Million Ants again with the ball now going into his chest. He pulled the ball out and glared at Alan as he approached them. “I mean, really unspoken. Like, ‘let's-not-tell-my-husband’ unspoken.” Million Ants tossed the ball again, only to miss the hoop as a buzzing sound could be heard. The ball bounced back over to him as he picked it back up.

Supernova folded her arms, giving Alan an annoyed glare. “We aren't married anymore, Alan.”

Alan started to sound more aggressive, mostly glaring at Million Ants. “Sure, but were we married when you two were ‘stranded’ on Delphi 6 for three days? Because I sensed...something was weird when you came back. But what do I know about sensitivity? I'm just a phantom train conductor. You're the pile of ordinary bugs that fucked my wife!”

Million Ants made another shot, this time scoring another point as another ding was heard. “That’s a three-pointer.” Drunk Rick said again.

Meanwhile, there was an awkward silence as Clyde and Crocubot watched Rick and Lincoln disarm the neutrino bomb. Eventually, Rick sighed. “Look, I get it. In a sense, you’re right, Lincoln. Everyone’s entitled to like whatever piece of media they want because at the end of the day, taste is subjective and it ultimately doesn’t matter what people watch or read. I mean...unless it’s written by a bigot or something like J.K. Rowling but then I guess you could just pretend someone else wrote Harry Potter if it makes you feel better about yourself.”

Lincoln sighed. “What are you trying to say, Rick?”

“All I’m saying is, Lincoln, is that even if you like superheroes, that kinda stuff doesn’t exactly work out in the real world. I-It’s not exactly a great idea to call someone a hero when you don’t really know the kind of person they are. I mean, look at these assholes.”

“I am standing right here.” Crocubot stated.

“I’m aware.” Rick said plainly.

Lincoln raised an eyebrow. “You know, Rick, to me, it kinda sounds like you’re just jealous.”

Rick gave Lincoln an offended look. “Jealous? Of these assholes.”

“Lincoln does have a point.” Clyde added. “Thinking about it, you do seem kinda possessive.”

“I don’t remember asking you, Clyde.” Rick snapped.

“Perhaps your issues stem from focusing on the differences between you two. Maybe it would be better if you focused on the things you had in common?” Crocubot offered.

Rick gave Crocubot an odd look. “Jesus, when did you start having any depth?” The bomb then powered down as Rick took out a wire. “Disarmed.”

Back on the court, the three Vindicators were still arguing. “YES! Is that what you want to hear?!” Supernova shouted. She turned away from Alan, folding her arms and closing her eyes.

“Did it feel good?!” Alan asked. “Did you like his six million wriggling legs more than my tragedy-stricken, half-ghost, half-tumescent penis?!”

As Million Ants altered his form to make the ball and himself go through the hoop, the others approached them as Lincoln stared at the scene in concern. “Guys? What’s going on?”

A saddened look appeared on Supernova’s face. “You wish this was about sex! We loved each other! We had a child together.“

“WHAT?!” Alan exclaimed.

Supernova turned to Alan with a look of distraught and tears in her eyes. “I conceived a child with Million Ants and it died inside me because it was HALF A MILLION ANTS AND HALF COLLAPSING STAR!” She started to get angry as she wiped her tears away. “And yes, he was better than you!“

“Yeah?” Alan asked as he started to sweat.

Million Ants then morphed into a larger form with tentacles. “One million times better!”

“ALL ABOOOOOOARD, MOTHERFUCKER!!!” Alan shouted before attempting to punch Million Ants, whose ants dispersed to avoid getting hit.

“STOP!” Supernova’s voice echoed out as she trapped both of them in a purple force field with zero gravity. Million Ants then flew over and entered a screaming Alan’s mouth, causing his body to expand until he exploded.

Rick and Lincoln stared at the scene in disgust. “Oof! Didn't see that comin'.” Rick remarked.

Clyde put a hand over his mouth. “I think I’m gonna be sick.”

Crocubot stared at Supernova and Million Ants in shock. “Million Ants! What have you done? You have killed one of our own!”

Supernova glared at Crocubot. “This isn’t on Million Ants. All of these deaths are on them!” She floated towards Rick, Lincoln and Clyde before materialising handcuffs on them. “I don't want any of you slipping away when this is over!”

“What? What did I do?” Clyde asked.

“Supernova, I question your decisions.” Crocubot argued. “I understand your anger at Rick Sanchez but the children are innocent.”

“Save it!” Supernova spat. “I don’t need to hear what you have to say. You’d be nothing without the Vindicators so just do what you do best. Stay quiet and just go along with the rest of us.” Crocubot found himself unable to argue back as he simply lowered his head.

After Million Ants scored another point, another door opened up. “Congrats, you did it!” Drunk Rick said.

Upon entering the next room, the group saw a metal platform and another monitor with Rick on it, eating a pizza. “All right, by now, I've been pretty clear that I think the Vindicators are full of shit. But...you do have one thing I'll never have. And that thing is the only part of the Vindicators with any value to me. if you know what it is, place it on the platform. Guess wrong and the pla...planet will explode. And probably the solar system, 'cause I kind of fucking eyeballed the neutrino bombs on this one.” The screen then turned off.

“So what's the trick?” Supernova asked before turning to Lincoln. “Ace Savvy, you're the Drunk Rick expert.”

Lincoln frowned. “I dunno. Maybe...Noob-Noob? You got along with Noob-Noob, didn’t you Rick?”

“Who the fuck is Noob-Noob?” Rick asked.

Clyde then clicked his fingers. “Maybe it’s Lincoln.”

Both Lincoln and Rick gave Clyde surprised looks before Rick then said. “Well...maybe? I don't know. I mean, look, when I get drunk, I get stupid and emotional and there's no logic to it. it's, like, possible I got so drunk, I felt like I was losing Lincoln to the Vindicators, and maybe this was my way of saying ‘Ok, you can have him, but only if you know how important he is, otherwise I'll kill you’.”

“Rick, why don’t you just be honest about this stuff? We could’ve avoided all of this if you’d just talked things out.” Lincoln said.

Rick squinted his eyes at Lincoln, suddenly starting to feel uncomfortable. “I mean...I don’t know if that’s definitely the answer. Maybe I gave the Vindicators an amulet or something last night.”

“We have no other options.” Crocubot stated.

Lincoln smirked. “I think I’ll take my chances.” Everyone watched nervously as Lincoln walked onto the platform, only to let out sighs of relief as a ding sound was heard. Lincoln then yelped as the platform suddenly opened up underneath Lincoln and a chair popped up for him to sit on. The chair then went down and the platform closed above him.

“Oh, shit.” Rick remarked.

The chair lowered down into a rocket-shaped cart. It started moving forward like a ride at a theme park. Lincoln passed through a cardboard cutout environment depicting giant monsters destroying a city. There was also another monitor with Rick on it. “Sorry, I'm...not good at goodbyes. It looks like I'm never gonna see you again. I can't really roll with the hero types, and I don't...th-they don't want me around. But I want...you to know, even if I didn't show it at the time, I really appreciated you sticking by me.” The cart eventually reached some doors that opened up to reveal the end of the line. The cart went up a ramp that lead to a pair of cardboard cutouts shaped like a pair of hands with a rainbow painted on them. A monitor then came up with Rick on it. He was starting to get emotional. “Goddammit, why am I crying? It makes no sense.” Lincoln found himself touched by the display as he wiped his tears away. “Ugh, y-you're probably confused because we barely know each other...” Lincoln’s expression turned into one of confusion. “But you really stuck your neck out when you gave me props for my awesome jokes in the briefing room. Everybody else had their heads so far up their ass. Even my own grandson is like, ‘Oh, the Vindicators are so cool’. But you're different, Noob-Noob.”

Lincoln glared at the screen. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Drunk Rick continued. “You're fucking cool! And you're smart! And...and...” He then sobbed. “Listen Noob-Noob, I-I need to confess something to you. This is-this is why I brought you down here. I-I-I’m a fuck up!” Lincoln’s expression was now one of surprise. “I let my granddaughter get hurt after I told myself to...to never let it happen and now I have no fucking clue where she is! This is...this is all I do, I fucking hurt every-everyone around me. I c-can’t fucking stop myself. I’m a monster! God, what am I saying? I-I-I can’t say this shit to Noob-Noob! F-Fuck it, I’m changing it to-“ The screen then turned off.

The rocket then went backwards before eventually bringing Lincoln back up with the others. He had a mixed expression on his face. “Lincoln, what did you see down there?” Clyde asked.

“I’m not really sure what I just saw.” Lincoln confessed.

Suddenly, the whole floor started to rise up. “I sense this means we are not dying.” Million Ants deduced.

“Not all of us.” Supernova said before force-choking Rick, Lincoln and Clyde.

“Supernova! Stop!” Crocubot cried out. Supernova simply sent one of her miniature planets towards Crocubot’s head, knocking him out.

Million Ants tried to put his arms around her. “Sweetheart?”

Supernova lightly pushed him away. “Just let Titty-Bean do this, Snuzzles. It's for the greater good.”

“Why are you doing this?” Lincoln choked out.

“Because it’s like you said, Lincoln, there is no right or wrong.” Supernova stated.

“I never said that.”

“It’s the galaxy's faith in the Vindicators that keeps the galaxy secure!”

“Yeah, I feel safer already.” Rick said sarcastically.

“Titty-Bean, listen to me.” Million Ants approached Supernova. “When you came to me, I was merely a sentient colony of ants.” He put his hand on her face which she then hugged, letting go of the three. “It was your beliefs, your pursuit of justice, that taught me to be a man.”

“When did it get so complicated?” Supernova asked.

“Who knows? But we can make it simple again.”

“You were always the romantic.” Supernova’s voice suddenly took a sinister tone. “Which is why you can't leave either.” Million Ants then gasped as Supernova reached into his chest and removed the queen ant. “Goodbye, my love.” She said before squishing the queen, causing Million Ants to fall apart and become a non-sentient pile of ants.

“Damn! She double-crossed Snuzzles!” Rick remarked.

Supernova then loomed over them, preparing to deal a fatal blow. “Silence! I'm going to enjoy this-gah!” A laser then went by her head, barely missing her. She turned to Crocubot, who glared at her as he had one hand on his laser eye.

“That’s enough.” Crocubot threatened. “You have lost your way, Supernova. It now falls to me alone to bring you to justice.”

Supernova floated over to him before picking him up with a force-choke. “You’re next.” Suddenly, a poker chip went flying at her eye. “Ah! My eye!” She let go of Crocubot. “What the fuck was that?”

Rick and Lincoln turned to Clyde, who had used his utility belt to fire a poker chip at her. He laughed nervously. “P-Pretty cool belt, right?”

Supernova growled furiously as she floated back over to them. Before she could attack them though, they had all reached the top as they now in the middle of a party happening at the top of Worldender’s lair. Various people from Royal Woods were there along with a bunch of different aliens. They then heard an announcer’s voice. “Let's give a huge thanks to Rick Sanchez for killing Worldender, putting this awesome party together, and for booking one of the hottest talents out there: Logic!” Most of the crowd were standing around a stage where Logic had started to perform.

Aww, yeah!

Rick looked around at the party, impressed with what he had done here. “Look at that. Geez, I must've planned a whole party. Invited a bunch of people. Not bad, Drunk Rick, not bad.” He gave Lincoln a nudge.

Are you ready?

There's a choo-choo train man, he's rolling down tragedy

Everybody knowing Supernova fights gravity

Lincoln noticed Supernova pretending to dance before escaping through the crowd. “Rick, Supernova's getting away!”

Both of them were then distracted as Crocubot was now aiming his laser eye at Rick. “Give me one good reason why I shouldn’t have you arrested right now.”

“Uh, I could give you a few reasons, actually.” Rick stated. “Technically it was Million Ants that killed Alan Rails and it was Supernova that killed Million Ants. Vance pretty much killed himself since I warned him not to panic or try to escape. Oh and let’s not forget I also killed Worldender and saved the galaxy. Doesn’t that count for anything?”

Crocubot stared at Rick for a moment before backing down. “You make some fair points.”

“You aren’t upset that your friends are dead? Like Million Ants?” Lincoln asked.

Crocubot shook his head. “Energy, like you, like me, like Million Ants has no beginning and no end. It can never be destroyed. It is only ever shifting states.”

Lincoln raised an eyebrow at him. “I...don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

“I think that’s just a roundabout way of saying he doesn’t care.” Rick remarked.

Lincoln sighed. “You know, Rick, maybe you were right. Maybe there are people out there that you shouldn’t look up to and call a hero.” He said as he took his Vindicators jacket off and dropped it. He then smiled as he looked at Clyde and Crocubot. “But that doesn’t there aren’t any heroes out there.”

Rick rolled his eyes. “You take whatever you want from this, Lincoln. I kinda don’t have energy to really care any more. This adventure kinda sucked. Whose idea was any of this?”

“Clyde!” Clyde, Rick, Lincoln and Crocubot looked over to see two men running towards them. One was a skinny, caucasian man with red hair and a long nose. The other was an overweight, African-American man with black, thinning hair. He was shorter than the other man.

Clyde waved at them. “Oh, hi, Dad. Hi, Dad.”

“So, did you have fun playing superhero?” The overweight man asked.

“You didn’t get yourself hurt out here, did you?” The skinny man asked with a look of concern.

“Uhhh...” Clyde glanced at Lincoln before laughing nervously. “No way, it went totally fine. Eh heh. Hey, can I talk to you guys about Dr. Lopez for a moment?”

“Of course, sweetie.” The skinny man said as the three then walked off.

“Huh. Can’t believe it took this long to meet Clyde’s parents.” Rick remarked.

“Didn’t you invite them here?” Lincoln asked.

“I don’t remember everyone I invited here last night, Lincoln.”

Lincoln started to get nervous. “You didn’t invite our family, did you?”

Rick looked around before responding. “Yeah, luckily even drunk me knew that would be a bad idea.”

Crocubot then approached the two. “I understand you are trying to seek your granddaughter. I wish to offer you a deal.”

This caught even Rick off guard. “Wait, really?”

“I will seek out your granddaughter for you but in return, you must promise to defend the galaxy from the threat of evil. You are clearly better at taking down villains than the Vindicators ever were. Whenever the galaxy calls for it, you must be there.”

“Jesus...” Rick muttered, annoyed that he’d have to now play superhero. “Fine, deal. I’ll explain the details after the party.” Crocubot nodded before going off to see if he could still find and arrest Supernova.

Lincoln gave Rick a smug look. “Looks like the galaxy has a new superhero to look out for.”

Rick frowned. “Yeah, well, don’t get used to it. I’m only doing this until either me or him find Lynn.”

“It’s also pretty nice of you to agree to buy tickets for the both us to watch the next few superhero movies.”

“What? I never agreed to that!”

“Really? Because I don’t think Lori would be very happy if she found out what happened to the Vindicators.”

Rick glared at Lincoln. “You little shit.”


	29. Pickle Rick’s Geriantics

Upon hearing someone knocking on the door, Lincoln opened it to see Lynn’s friend, Margo, looking rather sheepish. “Oh, hey uh...Lincoln was it? Um, do you know what happened to Lynn?”

“She’s competing in an intergalactic softball tournament.” Lincoln said irritably, not really in the mood for this.

“Okay, um...it’s just that we have a really important softball game in a couple days so I was wondering if you have any idea when she’s gonna come back?”

“Nope.” Lincoln said, curtly.

Margo slumped. “Ugh, great. Guess we’ll just have to do the game without her then.” She sighed. “Well, at least we’ll be able to go to the can before the game for once.”

Lincoln gave her a slightly grossed out look. “I’m sorry, what?”

Margo’s eyes widened. “Oh, sorry. This is gonna sound kinda gross but Lynn never lets us take a dump before a game. She says it’s ‘bad luck’.”

“Riiiight.” Lincoln said, looking slightly disturbed.

“Yeah, pretty weird, right? She gets kinda mad when you argue with her about it so we just kinda put up with it. But hey, we win most of the time so maybe she’s onto something? Anyway, sorry for bothering you. Oh and don’t tell Lynn I said any of this, ok?” Margo said before walking off.

“Got it.” Lincoln said before closing the door. He then frowned as he thought about Lynn’s odd luck obsession. How long as this problem been going on for and how come none of them saw it? He supposed they all thought it was just a sports thing though it’s clear it went deeper than that. Even went it came to just watching games, her luck obsession came up as she usually forced whoever came with her to help her in her odd rituals. It’s no wonder none of them wanted to go with her to watch a game.

“Lincoln. Lincoln?” Lincoln heard Rick call for him from the garage.

“Rick?” Lincoln made his way to the garage. Upon entering, he saw no sign of Rick. “Rick, where are you?”

“On my work bench, Lincoln.” Rick responded.

The only thing Lincoln could see on Rick’s work bench was a pickle. “Is this some kind of prank?”

“You see the pickle, Lincoln? Flip it over. You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge.“ In case this was a prank, Lincoln picked up a screwdriver and used it to flip the pickle over. His mouth gaped open as he then saw Rick’s face on it. “I turned myself into a pickle, Lincoln! Boom! Big reveal: I'm a pickle. What do you think about that?”

For just a brief moment, Lincoln had the urge to stab Rick with the screwdriver. “Rick, what are you doing?”

“What’s it look like? I turned myself into a pickle! W-What are you just staring at me for, bro. I turned myself into a pickle, Lincoln!”

Lincoln glared at Rick. He was still irritated with him over the Vindicators incident and this certainly wasn’t helping. “So, instead of going out and trying to find wherever Lynn is, you decided to turn yourself into a pickle today.”

Rick frowned. “Oh, give me a break, Lincoln. I spent all morning trying to find her. Don’t I deserve a break at some point? Besides, Crocubot’s helping now. He’s got this.”

Lincoln pinched the bridge of his nose. “Ok, but why would you do this? What’s the point?”

“The reason I’m doing this is because I can, Lincoln. It’s the same reason why anyone would turn themselves into a pickle.”

Luan then came into the garage. “Lincoln, come on, we’ll be going...soon...” She then noticed Rick on the work bench. “Um, what’s that?”

“It’s me, Luan.” Rick replied. “I turned myself into a pickle. I’m Pickle Rick!”

Luan stared at Rick for a moment before bursting out into laughter. “Ha! Wow. And you said my sense of humour was bad.”

Rick scowled. “Oh, up yours, Luan. How’s this worse then telling a shitty pun?”

“Well, to be honest, this kinda seems like a low-hanging fruit. Turning yourself into something and then yelling what you are with your name seems pretty basic. Sure, it’s a little absurdist but it’s really just playing to the lowest common denominator.”

Rick blinked in surprise before frowning. “Oh, so now you’re a professional on comedy.”

Rita then entered the garage, along with the rest of the family. “Lincoln, Luan, we have to get going, or we're gonna be late.” She then noticed Rick. “What the heck is that?!”

“It’s me, Rita. I’m a pickle.” Rick replied.

“What?! Why would you-“ Rita pinched the bridge of her nose. “Look, we're running late. We have to go.”

“Where are you guys going?” Rick asked.

“Don’t you remember, Dad?” Lynn Sr. asked. “We have an appointment with Dr. Lopez that was set a week ago. We all agreed to go, including you.”

Rick groaned as he recalled that event as the family had received a call from the McBrides, recommending Dr. Lopez to them. “Sorry. Must have slipped my mind. Geez, oh, man. I'm a pickle. I mean, I don't know if I can go, ooh, geez.”

“Rick, did you do this on purpose to get out of family counselling?” Lincoln asked.

“Lincoln, I assure you, I would never ‘find a way’ to ‘get out of’ family therapy. I hope my lack of fingers doesn't prevent the perception of my air quotes.”

“Can't you just turn yourself back into a human?” Lori asked.

“Great question, Lori. The unfortunate answer is I did this to challenge myself. And it could take hours or even days before I'm able to figure out how to return to human form. But, I mean, you know, you guys could put me in a purse or a pocket, you know, if you guys really needs me to go.”

Rita gave a frustrated sigh. “It’s fine, we’ll just go without you then.”

“Hey Rick, why is there a syringe of mysterious fluid hanging directly over you?” Luan asked. “Also, why is the string attached to it running through a pair of scissors attached to a timer? And why is the time set to 10 minutes from now, exactly when we would have left for therapy?“

Rick was silent for a moment before answering. “Well, Luan, if you know must know, the syringe is completely unrelated to this discussion, and, therefore, it does not warrant further explanation.”

“Ok.” Luan said before cutting off the syringe and putting it in one of her pockets.

Rick seemed alarmed by this. “W-W-What are you doing there, Luan?”

Luan shrugged, feigning ignorance. “What? I’m just making sure you don't get pierced by a needle full of liquid unrelated to your situation. You don’t want that to happen, right?”

A defeated expression appeared on Rick’s face. “Can’t argue with that.”

“Mother, perhaps I should stay behind to ensure that nothing else possibly happens to Grandpa Rick while he’s in this state.” Lisa then said.

Rita sighed. “Fine. Come on, everyone, let’s go.”

“Hey, hey, be careful with that. It's for something else. It's really important, so don't break it.” Rick called out to Luan as everyone then got into the van and drove off. As they rode off, the siblings gave each other unsure glances as they all wondered how much they should bring up Rick in this session.

After they left, Lisa turned to Rick. “You did this to get out of therapy, didn’t you?”

Rick sighed. “Yeah, well, so what if I did?”

“I have no issue with this. To be frank, I’m not particularly interested in partaking in therapy myself. No need to waste time discussing what I already know about myself, right? Besides, there’s something I need to ask you. Something of utmost importance.”

Rick started to get slightly nervous. “Um, ok. Shoot.”

Lisa readjusted her glasses. “Grandpa Rick, do you ever intend on dying.”

Rick’s eyes widened in surprise. “Whoa! Where’d this come from?”

“I’m just wondering, you have the means to live forever, correct? If so, is that not your intention?”

Rick sighed. “Let me put it like this: Ultimately, what people do in a lifetime doesn’t matter. In the chronology of the universe, our existences are so minuscule and brief, they won’t be measurably significant in any way. So it doesn’t matter what you do. It won’t count. We are born only to die. So, to answer your question, as of now, I don’t intend on dying because if dying is how we lose, then I’m not gonna make it easy for them.”

Lisa slowly nodded. “I see...”

“What brought this up, anyway?”

Lisa sighed. “Something came up when my parental units brought over Pop-Pop last night.”

...

The previous night, Albert was sat at Lisa’s bed, reading her a bedtime story. “And that's why you never mix radium and terbium. The end."

Lisa yawned. “I love a happy ending.”

Albert laughed. “Me too. Oh, how's your project going? Your mom said you had a big break through."

Lisa smiled. "Indeed I have, if my work continues to progress at this pace, the ability to use teleportation with only our minds should be a reality in seventy-three years."

“That's fantastic kiddo,” Albert praised, giving Lisa a boop on the nose. “I'm sure sorry I won't be around to see that, but I know you can do it.” Lisa frowned at this. “Now, where's my Lisa hug?" Lisa got up to give Albert a hug before he turned Lisa’s lamp off and tip-toed out of the room. “Night sweetie.”

As soon as he left, Lisa sat up and turned the lamp back on. “Won't be around to see that? But, I'd already penciled him in to be my plus one for the Nobel prize reception. I need to make sure Pop-Pop will still be around in seventy-three years.”

...

“So basically, you’re scared of your grandpa dying.” Rick summarised.

Lisa nodded. “But of course. If death is such a negative, why wouldn’t I worry? It is as you have said. In the end, we all die alone.”

“Oh, Jesus...” Rick groaned. “Look, if you want to live forever, that’s fine. I can make that happen for you. But, you know, I wouldn’t exactly force someone to live forever if they don’t want it.”

“Then perhaps we could go over and simply ask him then?”

Rick sighed. “Sure, why not. Not exactly much else I can do like this.” Lisa then picked up Rick before picking up a portal gun, putting in the coordinates for the Sunset Canyon Retirement Home.

...

After dropping Lily off at the McBrides, the Loud family had made it to the therapy building and were currently sat in the waiting room outside Dr. Lopez’s office. Lori sighed. “Is this really family therapy if Rick, Lisa and Lynn aren’t here?”

Rita then also sighed. “It’s a shame they couldn’t come but don’t worry about them. I think this could still really help the rest of us considering what’s been happening lately.”

The door then opened up as Mr. Goldenfold exited Dr. Lopez’s office. He gave the family a surprised look. “Oh, wasn’t expecting to see Lincoln and his family here today. Man, you really do got too many sisters.”

Rita smiled. “Oh, you must be Lincoln’s math teacher, Mr Goldenfold. So, you go to therapy too?”

“Oh, I’ve been going ever since the Galactic Federation destroyed my home town so I can accept the fact that the life I once had there is gone now.” Mr. Goldenfold said cheerfully.

Rita’s smile dropped. “O-Oh.”

Mr. Goldenfold waved them goodbye as he left. “Well, y’all have a good one.”

After he left, Dr. Lopez stepped out of her office. She was a hispanic woman with long black hair. She wore brown shoes, a green overcoat, and a yellow scarf. “Ah, you must be the Loud family. Please, come in.” Everyone got up and followed Dr. Lopez into her office before taking their seats. “Now, why are we here today?”

“Well, we received a call from the McBrides recommending you to us.” Rita started. As she spoke, Dr. Lopez was taking notes in her notepad. “I’m not sure why they did but after thinking about it, it sounded like a good idea to come. Me and Lynn feel that something has been off about this family lately. Especially after the whole Galactic Federation thing.”

Dr. Lopez gave her a sympathetic nod. “I understand what you mean. Ever since then, I’ve been getting a lot more patients than before. It was a hard time for all of us. One question before we go into that though. I was told there would also be a grandpa and another daughter that would be joining us. Were they unable to make it?”

“My dad, uh...got wrapped up in an experiment.” Lynn Sr. answered. “He’s a scientist. You know, the one that took down the Federation? Rick Sanchez? My other daughter is staying at home to look after him.”

“He turned himself into a pickle.” Lori then said, plainly.

“He probably did it to get out of going to therapy.” Luan then added. “Think he also called himself ‘Dickled Prick’ or something.”

Dr. Lopez slowly nodded. “I-I see.”

Rita gave Dr. Lopez an apologetic look. “Sorry, this probably sounds completely insane to you, doesn’t it?”

Dr. Lopez sighed. “Considering what’s been happening recently, I can believe it. It’s just strange to hear about something like that in a session is all.”

“Speaking of Rick, that’s something else I wanted to bring up.” Rita continued. “Ever since he moved in, he’s been taking the kids on these weird ‘adventures’ to who knows where in the universe.”

“Where is it that he takes them?” Dr. Lopez asked.

“I don’t know. Whenever I ask, he just says we ‘wouldn’t find it interesting’.” Rita replied. “I usually just gave it a pass since the kids have never come home injured. But I’m really not sure if they’re a good influence on them. My kids have changed since going on these adventures.”

“That, I agree with.” Lynn Sr. added. “Luan used to make puns and tell jokes all the time. Now she never makes any puns.”

“That’s a bad thing?” Lana snarked.

“Lana!” Rita chastised.

“No, she’s right.” Luan then said. “I couldn’t just make bad puns forever. If wanted to make it as a comedian, I needed to move on. That’s why I don’t make them anymore.”

Lynn Sr. seemed saddened to hear this. “But...I loved your puns.”

Luan sighed. “Sorry Dad, but I’m not a little kid any more. Most people just don’t find that stuff funny.”

“Change isn’t necessarily a bad thing.” Dr. Lopez then added. “If your children wish to improve or better themselves, I believe that should be encouraged.”

“Yeah, at least she doesn’t do that April Fools junk any more.” Lana added.

“What’s this about April Fools?” Dr. Lopez asked.

Rita sighed, slightly annoyed that they’ve gone off topic away from Rick. “Every April Fools day, Luan set up these insane, dangerous pranks all over the house that usually ended with the house a mess and some of us getting hurt. However, as of last April, me and Lynn have put a stop to it.”

“Even Dad got pretty banged up last April from what I heard.” Lynn Sr. added.

Dr. Lopez seemed alarmed to hear about this. “Goodness, Luan, what made you want to pull those kinds of pranks?”

Luan started to get uncomfortable. “I-I dunno, I...I guess...” She sighed as she looked down in shame. “I guess I’ve always taken a lot of pride in my comedy skills. It always stung whenever whenever my family called my jokes annoying. So April Fools day kinda just became my way of getting back at them.” She shrunk back as she could feel everyone staring at her. “I-I’m sorry, guys. I guess I’ve never really been good at taking criticism.”

“Acknowledging the problem is the first step to solving it.” Dr. Lopez remarked. “It’s good that you’ve been able to reflect on yourself and see that.”

...

Upon exiting the portal outside the retirement home, the first thing Lisa and Rick saw was an old man, holding a box full of his belongings, being pushed out of the building by a hefty nurse with brown hair, tied back into a bun. “But..but...but...but..." The old man stammered.

“If you would've had your butt home by curfew, you'd still have a place to live!" The nurse said without a shred of sympathy.

“Geez. Brutal.” Rick remarked.

...

After making her way over to Albert’s room, Lisa knocked on the door before he replied. “Come in.” She entered his room to find him lying down in his bed. “Lisa? Wasn’t expecting a visit from you today.” He then noticed Rick. “Uh, what’s that you got there?”

“It’s me, Rick!” Rick replied. “I turned myself into a pickle. I’m Pickle Rick!”

Albert stared at Rick for a moment before he started laughing. “Oh ho ho, a pickle! Now that! That is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen!” He continued laughing.

“Ah he he...yeah...um...” Rick started to feel awkward.

Lisa then cleared her throat to get Albert’s attention. “Pop-Pop, I come to you today with a proposition. As you are aware, Grandpa Rick is a genius, therefore he has the means for immortality. If you wish for it, he can make it so that you can live forever. How does that sound?”

Albert’s eyes widened in shock. “Live forever? He can do something like that?”

“Of course I can. I’m the smartest man in the universe.” Rick responded.

Albert frowned in thought. “Geez. It’s not like I’ve never thought about it but...I don’t know. I don’t want to see all my friends and family die before me.”

“Not if they also wish to live forever.” Lisa argued.

“Uh, that’s if they want to, Lisa.” Rick added.

Albert scratched the back of his head. “I don’t know. I feel like I’ve lived a pretty fulfilling life already. And if I never die, I’d never get to see my wife again.”

Rick rolled his eyes at the last reason. “So your answer’s no then?”

Albert sighed. “Sorry, Lisa, but I don’t think living forever is something I really want.”

Lisa started to get distressed. “B-But, Pop-Pop, surely you must consider-“

“Lisa, he said no. Just accept it already.” Rick interrupted.

“U-Understood.” A downcast Lisa responded.

“Hey, what are you doing in bed anyway?” Rick then decided to ask. “Little early for sleep, isn’t it?”

Albert rolled his eyes. “Oh, it’s Sue and her rules. Sue says I have to take nap time and Sue knows best.”

“Jesus, seems kinda strict, doesn’t it?”

“You’re telling me! She thinks we’re a bunch of frail, old fossils. She never lets us have any real fun!”

“Man, that’s kinda messed up. I mean, personally, I’d rather die then ever live in a retirement home but you know, I think people should be able to enjoy the last few years of their lives at least.”

“Believe it or not, she’s actually gotten even more strict after the whole Galactic Federation incident.”

“Yeah, well hell with her then. You know what? I say we go out and have a fun day out on the town. What do you say?”

Albert grinned. “Ok, you sold me. Let's blow this popsicle stand!"

Lisa sighed. “I don’t exactly approve of trying to defy authority but I suppose if it gets Pop-Pop more exercise then consider me in.”

...

Sue was riding on a kart, monitoring the lobby before she noticed Albert and Lisa about to leave. “Where are you two Peppy Pete's off to? Albert, shouldn't you be in bed?"

“Pop-Pop has already gotten a sufficient amount of sleep.” Lisa responded.

“Oh, I didn't realise we had a geriatric expert on the premises." Sue said sarcastically, folding her arms.

“Well as Pop-Pop is a fully grown adult, I believe he has the right to go where he pleases. Even if it is just to engage in merrymaking. Street name: fun.” Lisa argued.

Sue got out of the kart and approached them, giving them an unsettling grin. “Well, that sounds like a good way to miss our 6:00 PM curfew. And you know what happens if you miss curfew.” Her expression changed into one of anger. “You'll be out on your proverbial keister!"

“Jesus, who hired this bitch?” Rick asked.

Sue’s eyes widened in horror. “Did...that pickle just talk?”

“Yeah, what of it? I’m Pickle Rick bitch!”

“Ah! AAAAAHHHH!” Sue then ran off, screaming.

Albert frowned at Rick. “You know, you really shouldn’t swear in front of the kids.”

Rick rolled his eyes. “Come on, Albert, can you really imagine Lisa swearing?”

...

“I wouldn’t exactly say all of these changes have been for the better.” Rita argued. “After all, Lola used to be a pageant queen but after somehow turning into a demon on live television, her pageant career is over and she’s now an outcast at her school.”

“But, like, that wasn’t Grandpa Rick’s fault.” Leni argued.

“To be honest, I kinda brought that on myself.” Lola confessed. “If I had listened to Leni didn’t get so angry at Lincoln and Lana, it wouldn’t have happened. Besides, it’s not all bad. There was so much blackmailing and bullying with me and the other girls at those pageants. I’m kinda glad to have gotten away from all that.” She then frowned. “Though it sucks that I don’t get any money from it any more.”

Dr. Lopez gave Lola a concerned look. “I remember hearing about that incident. It’s unfortunate that something like happened to someone your age. I know how cruel kids can be.”

Lola sighed. “Yeah...”

“It’s a difficult situation but popularity in school isn’t everything. I believe you’ll eventually find some real friends who’ll accept you as you are. After all, your family does, don’t they?” Lola nodded in response.

Rita sighed. “I just...find it a bit odd how a ‘demon’ just showed up in our town some time after Rick moved in here. Bit of a coincidence, wouldn’t you say?”

“Mom, I know you have issues with Rick but you can’t just blame him for everything that’s gone wrong recently.” Lori argued.

Dr. Lopez gave Lori a questioning look. “You sound like you’re talking from experience.”

Lori sighed. “When the Galactic Federation took over, I kinda blamed Rick for everything that had happened. After thinking about it, it wasn’t exactly fair to when a lot of what happened was out of his control.”

Dr. Lopez nodded. “I see. I can tell a lot of you seem to have a complicated relationship with Rick, correct?” Everyone nodded in response. She then turned to Lynn Sr. and Rita. “Could you both tell me more about your relationship with him?”

...

Lisa, Rick and Albert were at the Dine ‘N’ Dance diner. Lisa held up Rick to the very confused looking cashier as he took his order. “Yeah, uh, I’ll take two cheeseburgers, two fries, and uh, two chocolate shakes.”

“Oh, not for me. I'll just have the cottage cheese and melon slices." Albert then noticed Rick giving him a confused look. “Sue says I should stick to food that's a little easier to digest."

“Ah, come on. Live a little! I heard that you cleared out a whole Chinese buffet.”

Albert chuckled at the memory. "I took it to 'em. Ah, what the heck? I'll have what he's havin'. And put chili on everything!"

...

After the three finished their meals, Lisa and Albert sat back while Rick just lied on the table. Albert then passed gas. “Who stepped on a frog?" He laughed. This got a chuckle out of Rick while Lisa just rolled her eyes.

“Hey, hap cats and kittens! It's time to do the twist!" A waitress announced as rock and roll music from the fifties started playing. Another waitress then came up to Albert, offering to dance with him.

“Uh, thank you, but I really shouldn't. Sue says dancing is a great way to slip a disk." Albert said, rubbing his back.

“On the contrary, dancing is a great way to exercise and elevate your heart rate. I would wholly recommend it.” Lisa argued.

“Hmm, well they did call me ‘Jitterbug’ in the Army." Albert then got up and decided to dance with the waitress anyway.

“You’re still set on the whole ‘living forever’ thing, aren’t you?” Rick then asked Lisa.

Lisa sighed. “Even if immortality doesn’t interest Pop-Pop, if I can get Pop-Pop to adapt to a healthier lifestyle, I could still make sure he survives for another seventy-three years.”

Rick rolled his eyes. “Jesus, Lisa, give it a rest. Let the guy just live his life the way he wants to.”

“I don’t understand. You yourself said that death was a negative.”

“Yeah, well, I guess some people have come to terms with that. He’s found a way cope with the inevitable and he’s comfortable with that so who are we to take that away from him?”

...

After spending the rest of the afternoon just having a fun day out, Lisa was now at a hot dog stand, getting some hot dogs before bringing them back to Albert and Rick, who were both now chatting with a biker who was leaning against his motorbike. “Lisa, my new friend T-Bone here was just telling us about a mechanical bull riding competition." Albert explained as he took one of the hotdogs.

“Pop-Pop, I strongly suggest we head back to the retirement home. We’re approaching 6pm and-“

“Aw nuts to that.” Albert said, interrupting Lisa. “Sue got me thinking I'm an old geezer. But I still got some pep in my step." He then showed off some dance moves to prove his point. “Huh? Huh?”

“While your dancing skills are impressive, I recall Sue stating that if you miss curfew, you will ‘be out on your proverbial keister‘. Lisa warned as Albert finished eating his hot dog.

“You let me deal with Sue. Now, you ready to saddle up?" Albert said as he got on the motorbike with T-Bone.

Lisa started to get worried. “Pop-Pop, I strongly disapprove of this.”

“Ok, worrywart, then I'm outta here. Let's ride, T-Bone!" Albert said before T-Bone rode off, taking Albert and Rick with him.

“Pop-Pop!” Lisa called after. “I may have made a miscalculation.”

Lisa chased after, eventually managing to find T-Bone’s bike outside a bar. Upon entering, she saw no sign of Albert or Rick though she did manage to find T-Bone. “Motorcyclist. Do you know what both my grandfathers’ current location is?”

“Oh, you mean Cowboy Al and Pickle Rick? Haven't seen them since Al won the competition." T-Bone then showed a video of Albert riding on the mechanical which he recorded on his phone.

“YEE-HAW!” Albert shouted in the recording.

“Where could they have gotten off to?” Lisa asked herself.

“Martinez goes back for the catch, and...what in blazes?” Lisa heard from the sportscaster on TV. She looked up at it. To her shock, Albert was running across the field. “There's an old man holding a pickle on the field, in his boxers! And there go the boxers."

Lisa covered her eyes before announcing to herself. “To the ballpark!”

Upon reaching the ballpark, she had made it just in time to see Albert (thankfully fully clothed) getting kicked out before getting carried off by a crowd that came out after him. After another chase, she found him skateboarding on a half-pipe. He rode off of it and managed to land on a breakdancing stage with style as he struck a pose. Before Lisa could reach him, a heavy metal band riding a van took him away.

Lisa eventually found him again, playing a saxophone with the band before stage diving and getting carried out of the theatre. She tried to follow him out, only to see no sign of him. “At this rate, there’s no way he’ll make it in time for curfew.” Lisa said to herself. She then looked up, only for her mouth to gape as she saw a plane skywrite ‘Pop-Pop and Pickle Rick rules’.

“LOOK OUT, WORLD! ALBERT'S ABOUT TO TAKE IT TO YA!" Albert shouted as he put on some goggles and a parachute backpack before jumping out the plane. “YAHOO-AH!"

Lisa yelped before rushing over to where she predicted he was going to land. Luckily, he activated the parachute and landed somewhere in a forest. She soon found him hanging from one of the trees. “Pop-Pop, this may have been a little too much activity for you today.”

Albert chuckled before sighing. “Sorry, kiddo. I think I overdid it a little today."

Rick scoffed. “That’s what you call overdoing it? You should what my nights out are like.”

Lisa sighed. “No worries, we may still be able to make it back in time.”

...

Rita sighed. “Honestly, I’ve never really gotten along with Rick. Everything about him just sets me off. “His attitude, the way he talks, the way he swears just about every other minute. On top of that, I’m really not sure about letting the kids go on adventures with him. Sure, they never come back injured but he’s so secretive when it comes to what happens on them. He never gives me a straight answer whenever I ask about them.” She then folded her arms as she gave her children a pointed look. “Though, the kids don’t seem to want to talk about them either.”

Dr. Lopez nodded. “Interesting. So neither of you have ever gone with Rick on one of his adventures?”

“I did once. Though I don’t think I’m really allowed to talk about it.” Lynn Sr. said as he recalled the warning that the President gave him.

“Could you at least say if you think that adventure had a negative effect on your children?”

Lynn Sr. thought about it for a moment. Watching an entire planet get blown up was rather disturbing but it’s not as if Rick was responsible for that. If anything, Luna was causing more of a problem then Rick. “I wouldn’t say anything that happened was Rick’s fault.”

“What does that mean?” Rita asked.

“I told you, Rita, I’m not allowed to talk about what happened.”

Dr. Lopez hummed. “Lynn, could you tell me more about your relationship with Rick?”

Lynn Sr. sighed. “Well, he’s my dad. But I didn’t really know him all that well. He and mom split up when I was really young and when mom remarried, I pretty much just saw my step-dad as my dad. Mom even had us both take his surname. Rick came back into my life over a year ago when he came to live with us.”

“So, before then, you hadn’t seen him at all since you were a young child?”

“Well, not exactly. He’s been in and out a few times. He’s even met the kids when they were younger a couple of times.”

“That’s another issue I have with Rick.” Rita then added. “He was never there for most of Lynn’s life and now he decides he wants to get involved and live with us? That isn’t right.”

“Come on, Rita, I’m sure he had a good reason to.” Lynn Sr. argued. “Like what about the Galactic Federation? Maybe he didn’t want me to end up getting wrapped up in all of that.”

“Even if that were true, he barely even gets involved with us today. He seems more interested in hanging out with the kids than either you or me.”

“May I ask, have either of you ever confronted Rick about any of these issues?” Dr. Lopez asked.

Lynn Sr. and Rita were silent for a moment before Rita answered. “Not...exactly.”

“I’d recommend being more assertive with him then. After all, the key to any relationship is honesty.” Nobody noticed Lincoln and Luna squirming in their seats.

Both of the parents nodded in agreement. “You’re right, Dr. Lopez.” Rita said.

Dr. Lopez then looked over at the children. “Now there’s something else I’ve been wondering. Would any of you like to tell me what Rick’s adventures are like?”

All of them were silent for a moment, unsure what to say before Lana eventually said. “They can be kinda fun sometimes.”

Dr. Lopez frowned before an idea then came to her. “Lynn, Rita, would it be okay if I could talk to your children privately for a moment?”

Lynn Sr. raised an eyebrow. “I guess.”

Rita let out an annoyed sigh. “Fine.”

Both of them then got up and left the room, leaving Dr. Lopez with the eight Loud siblings. “Now, just to remind you all, everything you say in this room, stays in this room.” Dr. Lopez then said. “Nothing you say will be told to anyone. Not even your parents. Unless of course there may be a risk to you or someone else. With that in mind, could you please tell me more about Rick and his adventures?”

...

Lisa, now holding Rick, and Albert made it back to the retirement home thanks to Rick’s portal gun. Before they could go in though, they noticed Sue making her way to the door and dived out of the way. Sue looked at her watch as she got out her keys. “Ah, close enough." She then locked the door.

Lisa then attempted to open the door. “Dang it. We’re too late!”

“Attention, residents! Time for room check!" Sue’s voice could be heard from the voice box.

“Double dang it.” Albert cursed.

“Psst! Al! Up here!" The three looked up to see Scoots and two other residents sticking out of their windows. “We saw you at the ball game on TV. Didn't know you were a boxers guy." One of the old men said.

“I saw your name in the sky, Al. You really do rule!" The other old man said.

“We're not gonna let ‘Shrew’ kick you outta here. Come on, you old farts! I need your canes!" Scoots ordered to the other two. Lisa and Albert gave each other hopeful smiles.

Meanwhile, Sue was checking on all the rooms as she opened up one of them. “Evening, Melba. Ah ah ah! No liquids before bed." She closed the door before heading to the next room.

Lisa and Albert climbed up a bunch of canes hooked together before climbing into Scoots’ room. They then noticed the door handle shake.

Sue opened the door to Scoots’ room, only to see Scoots’ by herself. Scoots chuckled. “Just workin' on my cat puzzle."

Sue glared at Scoots before leaving. Once she left, Albert and Lisa, along with Rick, popped out from behind the sofa. All three let out sighs of relief. “Albert?” They then heard Sue call out.

Before Sue could go in, one of the old men came out of his room, wearing a bath towel and holding a broken shower head. “Sue! Help! I can't turn my shower off!" Sue scowled before going to help the old man.

Lisa and Albert then tip-toed over to Albert’s room, only to realise that it was locked. Albert then checked his pockets. “Nuts. Can't find my key."

“I got ya. You gave me a spare." One of the old men said as he gestured for them to come into his room.

They followed him in before he got out a spare key from his drawers and gave it to Albert. “Thanks Bernie.” Albert and Lisa then tip-toed back out before Albert unlocked his door and went into his room. Albert let out a triumphant laugh. “Ha ha! We sure took it to Sue."

“Oh, did you, now?" The three looked over, only for their mouths to gape as Sue was lying on Albert’s bed, waiting for them, giving them a cruel grin.

Unsure of what else to do, Lisa held up Rick. “Oooh, look at me! I’m a talking pickle! Blah!”

Sue scowled. “You think I can’t put two and two together? I know you’re that crazy scientist that lives in town.”

“Dang it.”

...

Sue had Albert collect all of his stuff in a box as he was now in the lobby, about to be kicked out of the retirement home. “I find your reasoning for eviction quite preposterous!” Lisa tried to argue.

“Well, I don’t care what you think. You missed curfew and it's out on your keister!" Sue stated.

Rick sighed. “Sorry man. Didn’t mean to get you kicked out and all. I mean, this place is kinda awful, but still.”

“Ah, you ain’t so bad, Rick.” Albert said as he put down his stuff. “I regret nothing. You see that day we just had? I don't wanna be livin' in a place that makes me feel like an old geezer anyhow."

“Who cares? Let's get moving." Sue ordered.

Before they could leave, Scoots then rode up in front of them. “Hold on there, ‘Shrew’. If you kick Albert out, then you gotta kick me out, too."

“With pleasure.” Sue said, mercilessly.

“And us, too!" Sue’s eyes widened as a bunch of other residents arrived to stand by Albert.

“Yeah! You won't have much of a seniors' centre without seniors! Zing! That's a burn from Bernie!" Bernie taunted.

There was intense stare off between the seniors and Sue before Sue eventually caved in. “Fine! Albert stays! NOW GO BACK TO YOUR ROOMS!"

“We'll go back when we're good and ready!” Albert stated. “We're not babies and you're gonna stop treating us that way!”

Sue growled as she viciously snapped her clipboard in half before storming off. The seniors all the cheered for Albert. Albert chuckled. “We showed her!”

“Pop-Pop, I must apologise.” Lisa then said.

“What for?” Albert asked.

“After seeing how Sue treated you, I realise it may have been wrong of me try and get you to live your life differently. I thought it would have been for your benefit but...I suppose it was mostly for my own.” Lisa explained, looking slightly downcast.

Albert chuckled. “Well it's sweet you want me to live forever, but honestly, I just wanna enjoy the life I have left. But don’t worry about me, I won’t be croaking any time soon. I still got lots of great years ahead of me, and spending time with my grandkids is the part I look forward to the most."

Lisa smiled. “Aw, I'm looking forward to that too. Lisa hug?” The two gave each other a hug until Lisa heard Rick’s muffled as his face was pressed into Albert’s shirt. “Oh, sorry Grandpa Rick.”

Rick groaned. “Hey uh, now that you got your issues worked out, can we get Luan? I wasn’t exactly planning on staying a pickle this wrong. Probably don’t have that much longer to live actually if I don’t get that serum.”

“By my calculations, they should still be in the therapy session.” Lisa deduced.

Rick groaned again. “Seriously? How long has that session gone on for? Ugh, fine, let’s go.”

...

All the siblings were unsure what to say for a moment until Lori spoke up. “Ok, to be honest, some of Rick’s adventures can get pretty messed up. And Rick himself isn’t the nicest person in the world.”

Dr. Lopez nodded. She had a feeling that might’ve been the case. “Go on.”

“Like, some of what’s happened to us is like something out of a sci-fi horror. I once had to kill evil, possessed clones of my family from another dimension.”

This caught Dr. Lopez off guard. “I’m sorry?”

Lori rolled her eyes. “It’s a long story.”

“Are all of you on the same page on this?” Dr. Lopez asked.

“Like, I get that some of the stuff that’s happened was a little scary but I don’t think Rick’s a bad person. He’s done some nice things for us too.” Leni explained.

“Yeah, he’s been teaching me about his ship and how to run maintenance on it.” Lana added. “Besides, the adventures aren’t that bad. Being scared is part of what makes some of them fun.”

“I see. But has anything ever happened to any of you that you would consider traumatising?” Dr. Lopez asked.

A few events flashed through Lincoln’s mind. The purge planet. The Vindicators incident. Lynn getting her eye sliced out. And those were just some of the more recent events.

“Sigh. I should also point out that some of the stuff that happened was only because we did things that Grandpa Rick told us not to do.” Lucy added.

“It’s good that you’d recognise what is and isn’t your fault in those situations but I still can’t help but question someone who’d put children like you in those kinds of situations to begin with.” Dr. Lopez argued. “I must ask, does Rick force you to go on these adventures?”

Lori sighed. “Truthfully, no he doesn’t. He does give us a choice if we want to come with him or not.”

This was a surprise to Dr. Lopez. From what she’s heard, she expected Rick to have been forcing them to come with him. “Oh? So despite the things that have happened beforehand, you still choose to go with him anyway?”

“To be fair, not every adventure’s ended in disaster. Sometimes, nothing that major happens. We just don’t talk about them much.” Luna argued.

“And it’s not like we can’t get Rick kicked out if we really wanted him gone.” Lori admitted. “Though I have come close a few times.”

“You seem to have a lot of resentment against Rick.” Dr. Lopez remarked.

Lori sighed. “Honestly, it’s less the adventures and more about his general attitude. His worldview is so warped and messed up and he’s always talking down to us. He acts like he’s the smartest man in the universe when he clearly isn’t perfect. It’s not that he just takes us to bad places. It’s that he has such a toxic attitude which is what I think causes most of the problems.”

Dr. Lopez hummed in thought. “Have you ever confronted Rick about these issues? If you have the power to get him kicked out then surely, you could ask him to have a better attitude towards you and your siblings.”

“Well, I’ve told him off before but I haven’t exactly confronted him about any of this.” Lori admitted. “Though, I have been meaning to.”

“Hmm. It seems that, like your parents, you just need to be more assertive with him. Just let him know what he can and can’t do.”

Lori started to look uncomfortable. “It’s just...you’re right but...I don’t think I should be the one to do it.”

“What do you mean?”

“It’s just that...I’m...” Lori shook her head. “No you’re right. Next chance I get, I’m gonna confront him.”

“Was there something else you wanted to say?” Dr. Lopez pressed.

Lori shook her head. “No, it’s nothing.”

Dr. Lopez then got up and stuck her head out of her office door. “You can come back in now.” Lynn Sr. and Rita followed her back in as they all took their seats again. “So, I think that the two things that this family needs to focus on is assertiveness and honesty.”

Before Dr. Lopez could continue, a portal then opened up in the office as Lisa stepped out of it, holding Rick. Everyone stared at her and Rick as she then went to take a seat with her siblings.

“So you must be Rick?” Dr. Lopez asked.

“Mmm-hmm.” Rick hummed.

“I’ve heard quite a lot about you today. You seem to have some very interesting relationships with each of your family members. At first, I heard that you didn’t want to come to therapy. Why is that?”

“Because I don't respect therapy, because I'm a scientist. Because I invent, transform, create, and destroy for a living, and when I don't like something about the world, I change it. And I don't think going to an office to listen to some agent of averageness explain which words mean which feelings has ever helped anyone do anything. I think it's helped a lot of people get comfortable and stop panicking, which is a state of mind we value in the animals we eat, but not something I want for myself. I'm not a cow. I'm a pickle. When I feel like it. So...you asked.”

“I see.” There was a lot Dr. Lopez could have said based on that statement alone. However, since she hadn’t had that much time to really know the kind of person he was so she simply chose to say. “Well, I suppose therapy isn’t for everyone. Though, wouldn’t you have been better off if you had just been honest instead of turning yourself into a pickle to get out of it?”

Rick sighed. “I guess.”

Dr. Lopez then gave Lynn Sr. an expectant look. Noticing this, he turned to Rick. “Dad, there’s something I want to get off my chest. You’ve been missing from most of my life and now that you’re in my life again, it just seems like you’re here more for the kids than your own son.”

Rick blinked in surprise before speaking. “Well, Lynn, the reason for that is like I said, I’m trying to teach these kids about the universe. You already have your life in order. You got a family, you got your own restaurant. You’ve somehow managed to make marriage work out for you. What else do you need?”

“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean we can’t hang out more.” Lynn Sr. argued. “We barely do anything together. I think we should hang out a bit more regularly. Why not take me on one of your adventures? I wouldn’t mind going to space.”

Rick groaned. More time he’d hang out with Lynn meant less time he’d have to search for the other Lynn. Still, it wasn’t as if he could just say no to him. “Sure, fine, whatever.”

Dr. Lopez smiled. “Now do we see where a bit of assertiveness and honesty gets us?” Her watch then beeped. “That's our time. I'm going to give you guys my card and hope to hear from you again. We could have an over-the-phone session or (more preferably) we could set up another appointment if you wish.”

...

After leaving the session, Lynn Sr. was driving the family home with Rick seated next to him. “I um, I'm sorry I lied to get out of the thing. I-I shouldn't lie to you.” Rick apologised to Lynn Sr..

Lynn Sr. sighed. “It’s fine. It’s just...you really should’ve been more honest with us.”

“You did say at one point that there was gonna be clear communication between us.” Rita added.

“Yeah, I know. I-I just didn’t want to do anything that would upset you guys. I promise that there’s gonna be nothing but honesty from now on. Also, I am literally going to die, can you give me that syringe now, Luan?”

Luan got the syringe out of her pocket and reached in front of the seat to inject Rick with it. Immediately, he transformed back into a human, though to everyone’s disgust, he was naked and covered in pickle juice. “Jesus. Jesus Christ!”

“Geez Louise, are you okay, Dad?” Lynn Sr. asked.

“I’m okay.” Rick said before taking a few more gasps of breath. “Man, I missed having hands and blood and a stomach. We should get a drink.”

Lynn Sr. smiled. “Now that, I’d be happy to do...after you wash yourself and put some clothes on.”

“Yeah, and like I said. It’s gonna be nothing but honesty from now on. I promise.” Rick said.

Lincoln couldn’t help but frown as he knew full well that that was a lie. After that session, he couldn’t but feel extremely guilty about all the things he was keeping secret. He could only hope that they don’t end up backfiring on him.

Lincoln wasn’t the only one thinking about the session. After hearing about how honesty was the key to healthy relationships, she couldn’t help but think about Sam and how much she was keeping secrets from her. She couldn’t help but wonder what Sam would think if she knew about what she did on Valentines day.

Lori was also thinking about the session as she was more determined than ever now to confront Rick about all the issues she had with him. She realised that she needed to be honest with both him and herself. After all, she didn’t believe for a second that Lynn was at some intergalactic softball tournament.


	30. The Suite And Sour Conspiracy

Lynn Sr. smiled as he and Rita packed their bags. “Man, I cannot wait for this luxury spa weekend! You think the kids will be okay? I feel bad we aren't taking them."

“Oh, they'll be fine. Besides, we deserve a couple days to ourselves.” Rita then frowned bitterly. “Especially after our last vacation got cancelled.” As Lynn Sr. wasn’t looking, she picked his speedo out from the suitcase and flung it out the window.

Unbeknownst to them, the Loud siblings had been listening in on the conversation through the bathroom air vent. “We will not be fine!" Lola snapped as she got out a spa pamphlet. “Look at this place, you guys! It's got a spa, eight different pools, and a business centre! We are missing out on all of it!!"

“We're just gonna have to convince Mom and Dad to take us with them." Lori stated.

“Hey, what if we set up a play to convince them why they should take us with them?” Lincoln asked.

The rest of the sisters gave Lincoln an odd look. “Dude, I don’t think we have the time or resources to set something like that up.” Luna said to a disappointed Lincoln.

...

Lynn Sr. sighed as all of the siblings had gathered in the living room to beg the Loud parents to let them come with them to the hotel. He really should have seen this coming. “Look, kiddos, this is the first chance your mother and I have to relax for a long time."

“Oh! I have an idea.” Rita said before she shouted. “Rick!”

After a couple moments, a tired looking Rick entered the room, rubbing the sleep out of his eyes. “Yeah? W-What do you want?”

“Rick, could you take the kids to some kind of resort so that they won’t feel like they’re missing out while we’re staying at a hotel this weekend?”

Rick held his chin in thought. “Well, I have been saving up a lot of money recently so, uh...yeah, sure then.”

“Just one more thing then. You promise that wherever you’re taking the kids, it’ll be 100% safe, right?”

“Trust me, Rita. I already know where we’re going. It’s literally the safest place in the universe. There’s no way they can get hurt there.”

...

Upon entering the resort via portal, the Loud siblings gazed around in amazement at the exotic, yet alien building they were in. Looking out the windows, they could see a blue forcefield around the whole resort. Luan whistled. “This place sure looks fancy.”

“Luan, for all you know, this is the equivalent of an alien truck stop.” Rick, who was currently carrying Lily, snarked. “You have no frame of reference. You're in a universe beyond your imagining. But, yes, it is super fancy.”

Lori rolled her eyes. “He always has to take the opportunity to flaunt his intelligence, doesn’t he?” She thought to herself. “So, this place really is safe, right?” She then asked Rick.

“Of course it is, Lori. I’m not gonna take you somewhere dangerous to relax.”

After Rick said that, everyone then heard the sound of a laser gun being shot. Lana slowly looked down to see a hole through her chest before collapsing onto the floor. The Loud siblings stared at Lana in shock for a moment before screaming in horror. “OH MY GOD, LANA!” Lori screamed.

Lana then glowed yellow for a second before getting up and looking around in confusion, now completely unharmed. “Huh? W-What just happened?”

The siblings all stared at Lana in shock for a moment before looking at Rick for an explanation. “The resort's covered in an immortality field. You can't die here. That's the gimmick.” He explained. Everyone then let out a sigh of relief, apart from Lori, whose eye was twitching. They then noticed two other kids, who appeared to be aliens almost resembling pink pigs, playing around and giggling as the boy shot the girl with his laser gun. After being resurrected, the girl simply continued playing. Lola glared after them.

“You know, that still kinda seems like bad parenting.” Luna remarked.

Rick shrugged. “Well hey, if you wanna complain to them, be my guest. Rich a-holes are rich a-holes.“

“Lori, are you okay?” Lincoln asked.

Lori took a deep breath to calm herself. “I’m...fine.”

“Ok, well I’m gonna go drop Lily off at the daycare.” Rick announced. “You kids go have fun and uh...I guess don’t get into any trouble. I mean, I don’t know what kinda trouble you could get in considering you literally can’t die here but still.”

Everyone then went their separate ways to go explore the resort. Before Lana could go off though, Lola put a hand on Lana’s shoulder. A sinister grin was on her face. “Let’s go get our own guns and teach those other kids a lesson!”

Lana gave Lola a nervous look. “You sure we should be playing those kinds of games?”

Lola rolled her eyes. “What’s the worst that could happen? It’s not as if we can die. Besides, no one messes with my sister and gets away with it!”

...

Luna entered the elevator, only to balk at all of the buttons, all of which had strange symbols on them. “Ok, this is probably less complicated than it looks. This has gotta be for the top floor, right?” She said as pressed the highest button. The elevator doors closed as the elevator started moving before immediately breaking down. “Oh, you’ve gotta be kidding me!”

...

After dropping Lily off, Rick then made his way to sit at the bar. After ordering a drink, he glanced to his side to see that Lori had taken a seat next to him. “You want a drink, Lori?”

“I’m not old enough to drink.” Lori responded.

Rick shrugged. “Not like you have to go by Earth rules here but you do you I guess.”

“I just wanted to talk is all. So, how did that adventure with dad go?”

“I took him to the moon.” Rick responded. “He uh, seemed to enjoy that. Obviously, I’m not gonna take him on a real adventure so...yeah.”

Lori raised an eyebrow. “So how come you don’t take us on less dangerous adventures like that?”

“Would a trip to the moon really impress you at this point?”

Lori was silent for a moment before sighing. “I guess not.” There was another moment of silence before Lori spoke again. “So, could you tell me more about that intergalactic softball tournament that Lynn’s competing in?”

“What else is there to say? It’s an intergalactic tournament that takes a lot of precautions to make sure absolutely no cheating occurs.”

Lori nodded. “Right...so how come we never heard about it beforehand?”

Rick shrugged. “Why would you? The universe is a pretty big place. It’s not as if intergalactic softball tournaments are something I’d go out of my way to show off.”

“Also, how come you know that they take a lot of precautions but don’t know how long it’ll actually last?”

Rick started to get irritated. “What part of ‘intergalactic’ don’t you understand? How long this tournament lasts depends on how many that are competing. Which is a lot if you didn’t get that.”

Lori narrowed her eyes. “Do you really have to resort to talking down at me?”

“Do you have to resort to acting like an idiot?” Rick responded before taking a sip of his drink. “I mean, what, do you think I’m lying about this or something?”

“Well it’s not as if I literally don’t have any any reason not to believe you. You said to my parents that you were going to be more honest with them and we both know that’s a lie.”

Rick sighed. “Look Lori, it’s like I said. Your parents wouldn’t understand the stuff we do. They wouldn’t see the bigger picture. Sometimes, you gotta lie for the greater good. I mean, it’s not as if you’ve never done it, right?”

Lori sighed. As she expected, this wasn’t going to be easy.

...

Lincoln was walking around the resort, now wearing the goggles that Rick had made in order to see ghosts.

“What are you doing?”

Lincoln yelped and tripped over before getting up to face his sister, Lucy. “Oh, hi, Lucy. I heard that this planet used to have this big war between two alien races. I also heard rumours that ghosts of those who died in that war are haunting this very resort!”

“Whoa. Sign me up.”

“I haven’t exactly found anything yet though.” Lincoln admitted.

“We could try the basement...wherever that is.”

“The elevator’s out? I’m on it.” One of the resort workers spoke into his communication device as he made his way to the elevator before accidentally bumping into Lincoln and Lucy.

“Oh, excuse us." Lincoln apologised before he and Lucy continued on. The worker also headed off, not realising that his name tag had fallen off.

Upon walking by and noticing it, Leni picked it up and attached it to her dress. “Cute pin. Totes matches my dress.”

A female alien then approached her. “Excuse me, um...” She read Leni’s name tag. “Fritzzord, how am I supposed to get to my room with the elevator broken?"

Leni could not understand the woman’s alien sense of fashion but she did recognise the heels she was wearing. “Ooh, heels and stairs? You should def take a room on the first floor."

“Great! Can I get a key?” The women pointed towards the currently unoccupied counter.

Leni shrugged before going behind it and giving the woman a key. She was then approached by a garblovian. A large alien with red eyes, no nose and sharp teeth along with two horns and shaggy hair on his head. “Agah blahg blahg?”

Leni tilted her head in confusion. “Huh?”

The garblovian started getting angry. “Agah blahg!”

Leni started to get nervous. “Like, do you want something or...”

“Agah blahg blah!”

Leni then grabbed a bunch of keys. “Ok! Like, just take what you want.”

The garblovian took all the keys from Leni before walking off. “Agah blah.”

...

“You can’t catch us!” The boy alien taunted as he and his sister ran away from Lola, now wielding two laser guns.

“Get back here!” Lola shouted as she chased the two into a lounge area. However, she saw no sign of them.

As she looked around for them, Lana, holding her own laser gun, then caught up to her. “Lola, that guy you accidentally shot didn’t look very happy about it.”

Lola scoffed. “Well maybe, he shouldn’t have got in the way of my shot then.”

“Now!” The two alien kids then jumped out of their hiding places and started firing at them. The twins then dived behind a sofa for cover.

“This is getting kinda intense.” A worried Lana admitted.

Lola rolled her eyes. “Please. What’s the worst that could happen?” She then peaked her head over the sofa, only to get sent flying back as she got shot in the forehead.

Lana gave her twin a panicked look. “Lola?!”

Lola glowed yellow before groaning and rubbing the spot she got shot at. She then got up with a scowl on her face. “Oh, they’ve REALLY done it now!” She then leapt back into battle, guns blazing while Lana could only gulp in response.

...

After getting changed into her swimwear, Lisa approached the outdoor pool, only to hesitate in disgust upon seeing all the other aliens swimming around in it. “Uck! Looks like I'll have to disinfect the pool. Goodness knows what fungi await me in these waters." She then got out a chemical flask from her tote bag, along with a dropper to get a little bit of the chemical out. Before she could drop a drop in though, one of the aliens accidentally knocked into her, causing her to spill all of the chemical into the pool, causing the water to bubble rapidly. “Uh oh.” She winced as some of the aliens in the pool started screaming in agony. “Oh dear.” She then ran back into the resort. After running inside, she soon passed by Leni. “Might wanna close the pool, Fritzzord.”

Leni put down the pamphlet she was reading and looked around in confusion. She then noticed another alien approach her. This alien had a simian appearance. He have two eyes, a mouth with a fang slightly protruding from the lower jaw and two appendages on his heads that looked like bonsai trees. A lot of his body was covered in light blue fur and he had a tail that had a small white puff ball at the end. He also had a couple scars on his stomach. “Excuse me, I need you to make a call.”

Leni scratched her head. “Like, who are you?”

“My name is Risotto Groupon. I am the assistant general manager of the restaurant.” Risotto explained. “You see, we have a...raffle everyday to see which guest wins a free ride on the whirly dirly. Today’s winner is Rick Sanchez so I need you to call him and tell him that he’s won.”

“Umm...” A baffled look was on Leni’s face before she suddenly smiled. “Sure!”

Risotto smirked. As unusual as these circumstances were, he supposed he might as well use them to his advantage if it meant bringing vengeance upon Rick.

...

“I just don’t understand why you keep bringing us to dangerous places. If the universe is so big, shouldn’t there be loads of places you could take us where we’re not fearing for our lives?” Lori asked.

Rick groaned. “Look, Lori. Nobody’s forcing you to come on any adventures. If you have such a big issue with what I do then don’t come. I can easily just get one of your other siblings to come. Though, you didn’t seem have much of an issue when you went on an adventure with Mr. Poopybutthole.”

“Well...that one wasn’t so bad.”

Rick raised an eyebrow. “Didn’t you end up getting arrested? I heard you really pissed off the people on PB’s planet.”

Lori groaned in annoyance. “Look, that’s besides the point.”

“Lori, you do realise that I’m not trying to put you guys in danger, right? The world’s a crazy and chaotic place. Sometimes, shit happens. It’s not as if Earth is the safest planet in the universe either, you know? You’re just so used to the way it works that you consider it ‘normal’.” Rick’s phone then started ringing. He answered it. “Yello?”

“Congratulations!”

Rick raised an eyebrow. “Leni?”

“You’re like, today’s raffle winner! You win a free ride on the whirly dirly!”

“Leni, what the fuck are you talking about?”

“Umm...” Leni then hung up the phone.

Rick stared down at his phone. “What the fuck?”

“What was that all about?” Lori asked.

“Dunno. She was talking about the whirly dirly for some reason.”

“The whirly dirly?”

Rick smiled. “Oh yeah, it’s a ride here. Hey, you wanna have a go? It’s a pretty cool ass ride.”

Lori thought for a moment. “Ok, sure.” She might as well try and have some fun. She didn’t want to spend all of her time here arguing with Rick.

...

The whirly dirly was a ride that almost resembled a rolled coaster though it was made of multiple rings that spun around each other. “Oh man, this is gonna be awesome.” Rick said as he and Lori stepped into the ride.

Lori noticed no one else had gotten on apart from two suspicious looking aliens, glaring at the back of them. One of them resembled a red fish and the other one resembled a blue ape. As the ride started going up the starting track, Lori said. “Rick, something about this isn’t right. Those two aliens behind us are giving us weird looks.”

Rick turned around. Upon seeing this, the two other aliens looked away. Rick turned back to Lori, waving his hand dismissively. “Ah, you’re being paranoid, Lori. What’s the worst that could happen? I mean, sure there’s a point where the ride dips just outside the immortality field but...oh shit.”

Before Rick could do anything, the ride launched off of the starting track and onto one of the rings. Both of them gave exhilarated screams due to the high speed of the ride. Upon reaching the point where the ride would dip out of the immortality field, Rick ducked, barely missing the shot fired at him from one of the aliens. “Motherfucker!” Rick pushed off the safety bar and began climbing over towards the two aliens. The red fish alien also climbed over towards Rick and attempted to hold him down, only for Rick to kick him off of the ride.

Rick then went over and started brawling with the other alien, knocking the gun out of his hand. The alien managed to knock Rick down, only for Rick to use his foot to push the alien’s head towards one of the other rings, cutting it off. However, the alien then glowed yellow as his head simply grew back. The alien then picked up Rick, causing his head to also be taken off by one of the rings. However, like the alien, Rick glowed yellow as his head grew back. “Oh for fuck sakes.” Rick kicked the alien off him before giving him a hard punch in the face, knocking him out.

Rick climbed back over to Lori. “Rick, why are there people here trying to kill you?!” Lori shouted.

“How should I know?! Whoa!” Suddenly, two robotic arms attempted to pick Rick out of the ride, only for Lori to hang onto his legs. Rick glared up at the hovercopter that the robot grabbing him was riding from. Rick then activated something on his lab coat before slipping out of it and back onto the ride. The robot pulled the coat up towards the hovercopter, only for it to explode. Unfortunately, the hovercopter then crashed into the ride, causing the rings to collapse as the ring that Lori and Rick were riding on then rolled out of the resort and into the jungle surrounding it. The destruction then caused the immortality field to shut down.

...

Moments earlier, Lincoln and Lucy were exploring the resort’s basement for ghosts. “I can’t sense anyone’s presence.” Lucy admitted.

“I don’t see any ghosts either.” Lincoln added. “You know, thinking about it, maybe searching for ghosts in a place where people can’t die wasn’t the best idea.”

Lucy shrugged. “Who knows? Maybe those that have died here could have lost their souls in the process with only their body coming back to life.”

Lincoln stared at Lucy for a moment. “Ok, even for you that’s kinda dark.”

“Sorry.”

Lincoln sighed as he took off his goggles. “So, what’s it like having your room to yourself now?”

“It’s actually pretty nice.” Lucy admitted. “Though I must confess, I do miss the sound of Lynn bouncing her balls against the wall sometimes.”

“Doesn’t that get annoying?”

“You get used to it. Still, there’s definitely stuff she does that I don’t miss.”

“What do you mean?”

“Sigh. Lynn can be rather...insensitive at times. She says a lot of things without really thinking.” Lucy rubbed her arm awkwardly. “It’s...part of the reason we fell out a while back.”

Lincoln blinked in surprise. “What? I thought that was because you were the one upsetting her?”

Lucy nodded. “True. I acted no better. I ended up taking out my frustrations on her. But let’s just say she didn’t exactly make it hard for me to do so.”

Lincoln frowned at this information. He wondered why no one pointed stuff out like this beforehand. He supposed everyone just saw it as normal. Not that anything in their lives were normal. Suddenly, the lights then went out. “What was that?”

Lucy looked around. “Huh. Maybe there are ghosts down here after all.”

...

Both the twins and the two alien kids were panting as they all aimed their laser guns at each other in a standoff. “You know...you two are pretty good at this game.” The girl alien admitted.

“You’re not so bad yourself.” Lola confessed. “But I’m afraid this is the end of the line!”

“Bring it on!” The boy alien said confidently.

Before anyone could fire though, they then heard a voice make an announcement over the PA system. “Attention everyone. Due to an accident with the whirly dirly, the immortality field has temporarily shut down. Do not attempt to murder each other under any circumstances.”

The two alien kids glanced at each before putting their guns away. “Well, it was fun while it lasted. See ya!” The girl said, waving them goodbye.

“Yeah, it was fun playing with you guys.” The boy added, following his sister.

Lana and Lola, however, were now staring off into space, wide-eyed. “We could’ve died.” Lana stated.

Lola slowly nodded her head. “Yep.”

...

The ring continued rolling through the alien jungle before eventually crashing into the side of a cliff. Rick and Lori crawled out of the wreckage before getting up. “Ok, well that was awful! Can you please tell me why that just happened?” Lori asked.

“I just said, how should I know?” Rick then heard groaning and turned to see the blue ape alien also crawling out of the wreckage. “But I’m about to find out.” He went over to the alien and used his foot to pin him to the ground. He then got out a laser gun and pressed it against the alien’s forehead. “Alright, motherfucker, who set this up?”

“My leader did.” The alien groaned, glaring at Rick. “You destroyed our kingdom! We were usurped because of the weapons and technology you supplied our enemies! We want justice!”

“Who is your leader?!” The alien didn’t respond. Rick then punched the alien in the side of his head. “TALK MOTHERFUCKER!”

The alien let out a pained cough. “Risotto...Groupon.”

Rick glared at the alien before shooting him in the head, killing him to Lori’s shock. “What did you do that for?!”

Rick shrugged. “What? He probably would’ve ended up dying in this jungle anyway.”

Lori scowled at Rick. “So, this is all your fault. Once again, we’re in danger because of you. I thought you said you weren’t going to sell weapons to bad people any more?”

“Ok, one, I did that before that deal. I don’t know why you assumed this was recent. Also, bad people? Before I came here, this planet was in the middle of a race war. There were no ‘good guys’ or ‘bad guys’. I simply sold my stuff to the highest bidder. I was neutral. And hey, it ended the war quicker so if anything, I did this planet a favour.”

Lori growled in frustration. “Oh, you just have an answer for everything, don’t you? You can’t ever be wrong.”

Rick raised an eyebrow. “Uh no, I can’t. I’m the smartest man in the universe. Why would I ever be wrong?”

“Well if you were never wrong, why is it that we’re constantly in danger whenever we go anywhere with you?”

“Oh, like you can talk about putting people in danger after you tried to sabotage Leni’s driving test!” Rick snapped, causing Lori to step back at that. “Yeah, you didn’t think I knew about that, did you? If you weren’t lucky, Leni could’ve ended up dead and you’d have also left a Meeseeks without his purpose.” Rick slowly approached Lori, causing her to keep stepping back with a guilty expression on her face. “I see right through you, Lori. You’re the kind of person that needs to feel needed. You don’t like me because I take your siblings attention away from you. That’s why you keep trying to play ‘hero’ and make me out as a ‘villain’ so your siblings will keep looking up to you. Because you can’t stand the idea of not being in control. But you think you’re somehow better than me? When I first moved in, do you know how many of your siblings came to me, complaining about how much of a bossy, controlling, self-absorbed bitch you were? You might put on the nice act now but I bet if I wasn’t around, you’d go back to being the same kinda bitch you were because there wouldn’t be anyone else there to call out your bullshit. So if you wanna preach about ‘right’ or ‘wrong’, maybe try looking into a mirror at some point.”

Lori found herself speechless. Rick’s brutally honest speech had left her rattled as she couldn’t help but look back at some her past actions with a sense of guilt. Lori then shook her head. No. No, this wasn’t going to go down like this. Rick might have been right about a few things there but not everything. She gave him a defiant glare. “You know what? You’re right. I’m not perfect. There’s a lot of things that I’ve done that I’m not proud of. But do you know what the biggest difference between you and me is? Unlike you, I try to be a better person. I try to learn from my mistakes. And you’re wrong about why I don’t like you. The biggest reason I don’t like you is because you remind me of everything I hate about myself!”

Rick blinked in surprise. “W-Wait, what?”

“You think I can’t see through you either? You use your intelligence to justify everything you do. You always feel the need to keep reminding us of how smart you are because you need us to keep looking up to you so we don’t question you.” Lori then attempted to imitate Rick’s voice. “‘Oh, I don’t believe in God because only an idiot would believe in religion. Oh, I don’t like superhero movies because only idiots would watch stuff that’s popular’. Rick this is literally what geeks on the internet do to make themselves look smart. But the thing is, we’re not that different. I used to use my age to justify bossing around and getting advantages over my siblings and I tried to justify it by telling myself that I deserved it because I had spent my whole life looking after my siblings so I should’ve gotten something back for it. Yes, I do want my siblings to need me but I think you want us to need you too. And if I really wanted you gone, I could just tell my parents about you. But the fact that even after everything you’ve done, my siblings still look up to you and want you around; that’s why I don’t have you kicked out. And if someone like me can learn to be a better person, I don’t see why you can’t.”

“I...you...” For the first time in a long time, Rick found himself speechless. He didn’t know whether to be furious with Lori or proud of her.

Seeing that Rick had nothing to say, Lori continued. “Don’t have any more arguments? Then maybe you really could try being a better person. You said you were going to be honest so why don’t you start by telling me what actually happened to Lynn?”

Rick scowled. “Fine! You wanna know what really happened? Here it is then!”

...

Once Rick had finished recounting what happened, all Lori could do was stare in shock. “How...how could you let that happen?”

“Uh, did you miss the part with Lynn being completely unreasonable.”

Lori started to feel a sense of dread. “She-she could be dead!”

Rick rolled his eyes. “She isn’t dead, Lori. Trust me, I’d know if she was.”

“How?!”

“I’ll show you when we get back home. It’d take too long to explain. Also, for the record, this is partially your fault.”

“WHAT?” Lori screeched.

“In case you forgot, you’re the one who told me to take her with me in the first place. You know, despite how completely insane she was acting. Instead of trying to solve your problem, you’d have preferred to have just gotten rid of her.” Upon realising that Rick was right, Lori put a hand over her mouth, appalled at herself. “I also recall you saying that you’d owe me for it so why don’t you do me a favour and not tell anyone else about this, hmm?”

After taking a moment to let everything soak in and mull over her thoughts, Lori eventually spoke. “If I do that, will you then promise to at least try and be a better person?”

Rick let out a long groan. A part of him told him that all Lori wanted to do was control him. Make him feel like a slave. Another part of him remembered the Unity incident. Recalling how he had eventually made it feel and what it had told him with the notes it had left behind. He didn’t want to admit it but deep, deep down, he knew he wasn’t that great of a person. It went completely against his nature but he decided to say. “Fine. Deal.”

Lori nodded. “So, you really have no way of tracking down Lynn? Can’t you just track down the portal gun she has?”

“I didn’t think I’d ever need to put a tracking device on it since I could just have it self destruct and I didn’t think any of you would be stupid enough to try something like this.”

“You really should tone it down with the insults.”

Rick groaned. “Fine!” Suddenly, his phone started ringing. “Uh, hello?”

“Mr. San-cheese?” Rick heard Leni speak. “We've been getting some complaints about your kids."

A bewildered look appeared on Rick’s face. “Leni, what the fuck are you doing?”

“Um, excuse me but I do not need to be spoken to like this.”

“I-but-you-why?” Rick stopped stammering after Leni hung up. “Jesus, what the fuck are those kids doing?”

“How are we going to get back to the resort?”

“Uh, portal gun, remember?” Rick said as he got out his portal gun.

...

“Bathroom!” Luan cried after managing to finally find the bathroom. As least she hoped this was the bathroom since it also looked like an aquarium. She quickly rushed into one of the stalls, only to pause upon seeing the strange contraption that almost resembled a toilet. “Ok, how does this work?” She pressed one of the buttons which then caused water to start gushing out the toilet. “Gah!” She pressed another button, only to get blasted back by the large amount of water that got fired out of the toilet. Not knowing what else to do, Luan simply fled the bathroom.

...

Rick and Lori arrived back at the resort to see that the place had been slightly flooded. “Jesus, what the hell happened here?”

Water then splashed down onto them from above. They looked up to see a hole through the ceiling with Lisa staring down at them from the above floor. “Apologies!” She shouted.

“Ahem.” Rick and Lori turned around to see Leni standing behind them. “I'm sorry, Mr. San-cheese, but I have to ask you and your family to leave."

...

Rick and the Loud siblings exited the portal back into the Loud house. The siblings looked somewhat ashamed of themselves. “We were at the literal safest place in the universe and you still somehow managed to get banned.” Rick stated. “I-I don’t know whether to be annoyed or impressed.”

“Aren’t you still mad about that guy that tried to kill you?” Lori asked.

Rick shrugged. “Eh. Considering we just got banned, I doubt we’ll ever see that guy again anyway so I guess that guy can just spend the rest of his life coming to terms with what happened so he can get over it. I mean, I already have.”

Suddenly, the front door opened up as Rita and Lynn Sr. came in. They paused upon seeing Rick and the siblings. “Oh. You’re home early.” Rita remarked.

Rick raised an eyebrow. “I could say the same thing about you.”

“Let me guess, the kids got in trouble, didn’t they?”

Rick nodded. “Yep. Let me guess, you two got caught skinny dipping in the pool again, huh?”

Rita frowned, blushing slightly in embarrassment. “Not another word, Rick.”

...

“So, Lori knows about what happened?” A nervous Lincoln asked as he and Lori followed Rick into the garage.

“Don’t worry, I understand why you kept it a secret.” Lori reassured him.

“So I know you two are wondering about the possibility of Lynn dying out there. Luckily, I have a backup plan for that.” Rick explained as the three lowered into Rick’s underground lab.

Lincoln and Lori’s eyes both widened in shock upon seeing Lynn’s body, floating in a green vat. “Lynn?!” Lori shouted.

“It’s a clone of Lynn.” Rick explained. “I’ve restarted Operation Phoenix. If Lynn ends up getting herself killed out there, her consciousness will be transferred to this clone. So, no matter what happens, we will eventually get Lynn back.”

Lori let out a sigh of relief. “That’s a relief at least. Still, the sooner we get her back, the better.”

Upon reentering the garage, Lori was about to follow Lincoln out before Rick placed a hand on her shoulder. “Hey, listen. I just wanna say that you’re a lot smarter than I’ve ever given you credit for. You’ve got a lot of potential.”

Lori blinked in surprise from the compliment. “Um, thanks.” She said before leaving the garage. While she was happy to have been complimented by Rick for once, she couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by ‘potential’.


End file.
